hello, I'm clive Anderson, welcome to my.....Oi, come back!....It was only a wee joke..
: )
(: )
claptonista ,the idiot boy..........๐ซฅ,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:32,
archived)
hahahahah! JK Rowling getting the maximum from the franchise ;D
(
theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:44,
archived)
I bloody KNEW it!I kept saying to myself, "Ninj MUST have done this, stop now!" But once I'd started . . .
(
Q4nobody,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:16,
archived)
...and another...
looks like all the fun was had on hole 5
insignificantsnivellinglittleturd I Like Peas,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 9:28,
archived)
you should start a new thread for each holei'm sure everyone would love to see them
(
real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 9:35,
archived)
<that
Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:04,
archived)
What a splendid idea.
I'm working on it right now, although holes 1-4, 6-7 and 9 were nowhere near as side splittingly funny as 5 and 8.
(I'm working on it right now, although holes 1-4, 6-7 and 9 were nowhere near as side splittingly funny as 5 and 8.
insignificantsnivellinglittleturd I Like Peas,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 9:41,
archived)
Such big a lost to alternative humour - how will we cope?
(
maiden is filmed before a live studio audience,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 9:48,
archived)
even better, you should post it on /talkthey love golf and cock pics over there
( real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 9:49,
archived)
oh you cheeky monkeys
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon.,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:00,
archived)
don't listen to these cuntswe get so few new threads round here these days that I am considering creating a new thread for every time I think of something useful to say.
STARTING NOW!
(STARTING NOW!
Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something.,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:03,
archived)
I've been doing that for years/never anythng useful to say blog
(
emvee cruor deo cruoris,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:08,
archived)
ANY SECOND NOW.... Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something.,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:13,
archived)
oh man, I hope I don't have to hold in "fluids" while waiting
discomeats This canoe,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:40,
archived)
NEARLY THERE! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something.,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:04,
archived)
You know, I've not seen anyone advertising Golf Sales any more - it's always someome giving away vouchers for McDonalds or Pizza Hut. Oh, and one guy down Tot'court road advertising broadband and laptops.
(
theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:12,
archived)
next time you see himask him for half a pound of broadband
( Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something.,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:14,
archived)
they only work in kilogrammes these days, so I refuse to buy anything in weights. theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:16,
archived)
There are loads down Regent Streetbetween Oxford Circus and Piccadilly
( emvee cruor deo cruoris,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:27,
archived)
Quick to the sand bunker!
( theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:15,
archived)
your coffee cup is chipped real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:51,
archived)
The pessimistic gargoyle apparently has extremely bad effects on life force. So they hurry on through.
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:00,
archived)
you just made golf even more boringwhich i didn't think was possible.
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:41,
archived)
Mini golf hole in Perranporth, Cornwall.
Oh how I laughed.
insignificantsnivellinglittleturd I Like Peas,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 9:03,
archived)
are they?isn't there some kind of comedian's agreement not to use other peoples jokes without credit?
If you don't Hale and Pace come and sit on you naked or something
(If you don't Hale and Pace come and sit on you naked or something
HappyToast Groat froth,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 8:54,
archived)
It's a nice thought but with most comedians it's more a code of honourthe Fuhrer was always getting grief from comedians because people come home from a night out and upload the best jokes to sickipedia without credit though
( emvee cruor deo cruoris,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 8:57,
archived)
surely if they've just heard the joke they can remember who told it?lazy/ungrateful/uncrediting sods
right, I'm off out, toodle pip
(right, I'm off out, toodle pip
HappyToast Groat froth,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 9:00,
archived)
The trouble is that a lot of gags are common sense.So it is very likely that several comedians will come up with the same jokes completely independantly.
Although I will swear blind that I wrote "What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot Cross Bunnies" when I was 8 years old
(Although I will swear blind that I wrote "What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot Cross Bunnies" when I was 8 years old
Joliet,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 9:02,
archived)
Thisexplains it pretty wellโฆ www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YE9Kthyaco
(,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 11:39,
archived)
Yesterday, Thor_sonofodin requested geometric patterns...so here is Shannon Elizabeth. If you look closly, you can see the wallpaper is quite geometric, which is nice and Evan Rachel Wood (suggested by Kitty Fantastico).
"Have fun out there and don't forget, Be Safe"
("Have fun out there and don't forget, Be Safe"
Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 8:04,
archived)
There was also a demand for blokes yesterday?So here is Toby Jones for Joliet & RedHouse, who also suggested Mammootty.
( Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 8:04,
archived)
I adore Toby Jones as an actor but he doesn't grape my squildoThe best of a bad bunch tomorrow is Martin Freeman or Peter Sellers.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas gives me the fear because of mid-90s teen mags that used to fawn over him. He had this slightly predatory look about him in his posters. *blergh!*
Edit: How rude! Woo & ta!
(Jonathan Taylor Thomas gives me the fear because of mid-90s teen mags that used to fawn over him. He had this slightly predatory look about him in his posters. *blergh!*
Edit: How rude! Woo & ta!
Joliet,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 8:38,
archived)
I didn't expect Toby to grape your squildobut I also think he's a great character actor and his face is great fodder for Wobblywork.
( RedHouse over yonder,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:16,
archived)
And today there is demand for less terrible posts from Wobbly Bloke
(
gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 8:06,
archived)
i dont mind them muchits a good indicator that its morning. A silly bit of regularity before the real work begins. Kind of like reading the comics on the train to work or something
( taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 8:20,
archived)
and more pissy comments from gronkpan
(
barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 10:01,
archived)
Mmmm - i mostly remember Shannon Elizabeth from this scenewww.youtube.com/watch?v=QnohZhrp9s8
*fwaps until i start a forest fire*
I do loves me latex catsuits :-D
(*fwaps until i start a forest fire*
I do loves me latex catsuits :-D
taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 8:17,
archived)
^ Ha ha ha....It took some time to do the 'research' this morning...
( Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 9:23,
archived)
3D atomic Uncle Death's Throne
cfb 270k --Skull&bones mutant stock, rest new polys, Blender-BIR.
www.b3ta.com/board/10527063
Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 7:29,
archived)
Had done a basic one already.www.b3ta.com/board/10521585
New cloak, throne etc.
(New cloak, throne etc.
Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 7:56,
archived)
Holy cow, that's awesome!
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 12:51,
archived)
Oh damn... I'm scared now...he's coming to life!:D:D:D wonderful!
(
atomic A-bomb-a-nation,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 16:18,
archived)
I've just finished a dose of colonoscopy prep. Mmmm. So, I'm singing in the rain.
(
cowcat Bituminous squeegee,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 6:37,
archived)
Good luck with that.I can't say I envy you. From what I understand you won't know too much about it though.
(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 6:41,
archived)
So far it's not that bad. I had to laugh when you posted this though. And I was waiting for the inevitable rain. That last thing you posted was like him screaming it at us. In a baritone.
edit- uh oh, it's raining again. :(
(edit- uh oh, it's raining again. :(
cowcat Bituminous squeegee,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 6:44,
archived)
HahaThe actual procedure itself I mean, I think they sedate you pretty heavily for that don't they?
( mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 6:51,
archived)
It's an optionI'm tending toward consciousness. But they probably do it for a good reason.
The hardest part of this is not eating. I'm small. I eat like a bird. Also, food is really good at dealing with boredom.
And that's another lovely day for me... off to bed.
(The hardest part of this is not eating. I'm small. I eat like a bird. Also, food is really good at dealing with boredom.
And that's another lovely day for me... off to bed.
cowcat Bituminous squeegee,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 7:15,
archived)
Oh man I really dont envy youI had the works a couple of years back. I had to take the prep solution in the evening and then in the morning. The evening was OK, I guess, but the morning was torture because I knew what was coming - and I'd shit out everything inside the night before anyway. That was easily the worst of it all.
The procedure itself was OK because they knocked me out for it. I don't know if they'd normally do that or not but in my case they were doing a gastroscopy at the same time and they didn't even consider not putting me under. Since apparently I've got a really twisted, weird intestine up the right side and they were banging around trying to get up, I'm very glad I was unconscious, too...
The very best of luck - you're at the worst stage now, I assure you.
(The procedure itself was OK because they knocked me out for it. I don't know if they'd normally do that or not but in my case they were doing a gastroscopy at the same time and they didn't even consider not putting me under. Since apparently I've got a really twisted, weird intestine up the right side and they were banging around trying to get up, I'm very glad I was unconscious, too...
The very best of luck - you're at the worst stage now, I assure you.
boris the spider,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 8:37,
archived)
Cool. Thanks. I know it's way late, and this will most likely never be seen, but just in case.
On the bright side, I had amazing dreams last night.
(On the bright side, I had amazing dreams last night.
cowcat Bituminous squeegee,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 17:28,
archived)
I don't remember any amazing dreamsJust the extreme reluctance to drink any more of that stuff in the morning. I had some amazing dreams when I was under anaesthetic, though.
Hope it went well.
(Hope it went well.
boris the spider,
Fri 9 Sep 2011, 9:05,
archived)
My first job had me cleaning up after proctoscopiesGo with the conscious option - if you're knocked out your subconscious reflex is to try and push the scope out. This causes the doctor to push it back in and it turns into some kind of reverse tug-of-war scenario. By the end you've got a scope covered with shit and blood that some poor fucker has to polish until it is shiny and new.
On a related note: Don't take LSD before going to work.
(On a related note: Don't take LSD before going to work.
gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 7:33,
archived)
So the shitrags were like karma and shit. Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 7:35,
archived)
That has me tending toward the anesthetic alternative. I appreciate your description. Makes sense.
Haha, oh man. That's horrible. I worked in hospitals a long time. Emergency rooms at 3am are a real nightmare. Once upon a time I regularly did psylocibin at one hospital office job.
(Haha, oh man. That's horrible. I worked in hospitals a long time. Emergency rooms at 3am are a real nightmare. Once upon a time I regularly did psylocibin at one hospital office job.
cowcat Bituminous squeegee,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 17:32,
archived)
i've just spent ages on this, now i can't think of anything to do with itgo on, make me proud
here's a png, if anyone wants it
www.b3tards.com/u/67ee178dc815f89b08ab/55png.png
(here's a png, if anyone wants it
www.b3tards.com/u/67ee178dc815f89b08ab/55png.png
real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 4:38,
archived)
fuck it, have a random movie remake pea in the mean time
real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 4:47,
archived)
Angelos, meet Fabio. Fabio, meet Angelos.
Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 1:46,
archived)
Kickerball ftw!
Doffs cap(tain howdy)
Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 3:08,
archived)
*becomes child prodigy*
*becomes most successful pop singer of all time*
*gets bored*
*commits crimes*
*dies*
*PROFITS!*
*gets undignified statue of self sited at football stadium*
(*becomes most successful pop singer of all time*
*gets bored*
*commits crimes*
*dies*
*PROFITS!*
*gets undignified statue of self sited at football stadium*
Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 3:14,
archived)
^this^ is it...
( Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 3:23,
archived)
help me obi wan...I`ve run out of dope
( Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 3:38,
archived)
it's over my head :/(
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 3:45,
archived)
Aaaargh!so is my ample penis
( Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 4:00,
archived)
Too cleanCool though. Hello there, haven't seen you for ages.
( mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:57,
archived)
Pretty dirty.*has internal argument over which is preferable, settles for mardy, fat former "girl-next-door" type instead*
( Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 1:21,
archived)
hi!i'll have to have a play!
(
Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 1:26,
archived)
Rank xerox, transparent film and boredom
and a pic I snapped..and a very bad scan.
(slightly bigger)
The only benefit from working as a substitute teacheryou got the stress, the parents, the regular teachers' whining, horrible school lunches, more stress
and a near unlimited supply of transparent film.
Now quite a few years back, I'm sure they removed access to the xerox since. And the OH film.
(,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 6:40,
archived)
and a near unlimited supply of transparent film.
Now quite a few years back, I'm sure they removed access to the xerox since. And the OH film.
Appropriate captcha I just came across
hazzamon I've nothing better to do,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:31,
archived)
well, back when I was your age, we had these clunky wired telephones.They had to remain connected to a wire since that's where the conversation would travel (primitive, yes,,, I know).
Some of us called them landlines, because they would explode when you step on them.
aww damn, I cannot finish my story, because the nurse has arrived with my nightly injections.
(Some of us called them landlines, because they would explode when you step on them.
aww damn, I cannot finish my story, because the nurse has arrived with my nightly injections.
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:43,
archived)
you havent been listening!NO NO NO!!!
( PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:52,
archived)
I was there, man.And DVDs? They used to be these big plastic box things you pushed into a machine. Crazy days.
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:54,
archived)
DVDs?Fuck's sake, get with the times Grandpa.
It's all about digital distribution. I mean, who buys DVDs anymore? I just stream everything I want from my hard drives straight onto my telly. Apple are even selling computers without DVD drives and we all know that Apple can do no wrong.
(It's all about digital distribution. I mean, who buys DVDs anymore? I just stream everything I want from my hard drives straight onto my telly. Apple are even selling computers without DVD drives and we all know that Apple can do no wrong.
boris the spider,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 8:12,
archived)
this works quite well(
Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:45,
archived)
you're right!I haven't been able to shit for 3 days. After 30 seconds of this, I completely evacuated my bowels
( PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:47,
archived)
your welcome*patents*
( Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:48,
archived)
oh! so that was you're idea
(
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:52,
archived)
no thats just how science works Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:55,
archived)
science -- its' good,
(
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 1:10,
archived)
except when its badand before you know it you got a bunch of sodomized electrons causing heavy electricity!
( Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 1:15,
archived)
Christ,I think I've just shat 3 days' worth in one involuntary go.
( Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 1:53,
archived)
The complete array of their Captcha questions is"Hiddencharges", "Landlines", "LotsOfDowntime" and "Cunts"
so "Landlines" is actually the least appropriate of the captchas you could have got on their site.
(so "Landlines" is actually the least appropriate of the captchas you could have got on their site.
monkeon schmonkeon,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:48,
archived)
I used their mobile 'broadband' when I was in the UK...It instantly reverted me to a filesize nazi when viewing b3ta, watching my bandwidth tick down.
( mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:55,
archived)
I used to have to use firefox plug-insto block all images and flash, and I'd somehow still end up with a ridiculous bill due to their disproportionate bandwidth fines every month.
( monkeon schmonkeon,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 1:01,
archived)
Welcome to the Zone Of Unlimited Manliness
Lord Kronos Go Team Pachyderm,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:23,
archived)
Perfect time to test this ;D
EDIT: And have this too.
Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:31,
archived)
*selects Terry Bogard**profits*
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 7:55,
archived)
HahahaThat pic would have been a suitable addition to the "best thread ever" www.b3ta.com/board/9480968
( BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:43,
archived)
You nutterI just spat out my whisky
( Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 1:50,
archived)
Now THAT made me laugh.
HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 1:53,
archived)
does that guy knowhow epic he is?
( Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 2:23,
archived)
maw me maw...
(
Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 4:05,
archived)
Such beauty, such grace!A thread for the ages :)
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:50,
archived)
HOLY B& !!Epic. Thread. Is. Epic.
( HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 1:24,
archived)
funniest thing....ever!I swear I`ve got piles now
( Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 2:12,
archived)
Compo related but not an everyday object as such so I'll just leave this here......
Click for bigger (340 k)
Say "Hello" to my cat, Libby.
![[challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif "Challenge Entry: Sexy Everyday Objects"){kind=small}
Spotted this in Ikea a few years back....Look carefully & you'll see they're all at it.
Click for bigger (781 k)
No wonder the cage was full....
(,
Tue 6 Sep 2011, 23:46,
archived)
Click for bigger (781 k)
No wonder the cage was full....
Their meat balls are very disappointing
(
Jahled Three shades of black,
Tue 6 Sep 2011, 23:55,
archived)
Isn't there a tumblr somewhere for such "wacky" material as this?
(
Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:04,
archived)
cor! they're all at it! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:10,
archived)
RISlooks a bit like a fat simon cowell with a bit of downs.
( taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong,
Tue 6 Sep 2011, 23:49,
archived)
oh fucking spang! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:25,
archived)
this reminds me of a videogame boss or something taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong,
Tue 6 Sep 2011, 23:50,
archived)
i think you better get him to the bathroomhe keeps requesting it over and over
( PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:41,
archived)
camera's not very steadywas your other hand "busy" while you filmed it
( Elvis impersonator,
Tue 6 Sep 2011, 23:18,
archived)
Top late entry awardGet your mouthpiece around that!
( Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 0:52,
archived)
All boxing weigh-ins should be legally required to be conducted as a dance routine to Copacobana
It's the result of drinking too much Puromycin is still licking windows,
Tue 6 Sep 2011, 23:41,
archived)
ah..yes, I remember those dayswho am I kidding? (short term mem...what was I saying?)
( Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Wed 7 Sep 2011, 1:00,
archived)
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