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# Right...
I should have posted this up ages ago...
But it didn't get in to the newsletter, so I'm posting the newsletter reject here :)

Bread Olympics

Rah!
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:24, archived)
# you loon
I like that I does.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:26, archived)
# your URL isn't ewxactly
corporate firewall hell friendly, it's fantastic though
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:27, archived)
# I got turned on by this image...

Is that OK?
(I helped save b3ta! technical itch, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:55, archived)
# Vulga's new sideline:
bread porn.
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:59, archived)
# You mean
you've not seen my bread-porn before?
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:00, archived)
# You should call yourself
Agent Vulva.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:01, archived)
# it has
been noted.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:02, archived)
# French bread gag repost opportunity...
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:03, archived)
# Giggle
tastic
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:02, archived)
# I likes them big crumpets
I do
(I helped save b3ta! gingerbenji wrote a book http://goo.gl/8UiGjd, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:04, archived)
# they are
special, you know...
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:10, archived)
# 5 a day

or else.
(I helped save b3ta! ablufia v0.43 - have your face drawn, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:22, archived)
# *waaaa!!*
(joshwa ultra lurker, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:24, archived)
# something is
wrong with my new kitten.
(I helped save b3ta! sty, john deere lawn mowing team!, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:21, archived)
# Not just
the cat...;)
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:23, archived)
# now that is......
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:25, archived)
# What a gentleman you are sir,
You are beginning to think my thoughts for me. Forsooth, I feel the stars themselves are looking kindly upon us.
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:26, archived)
# to make my position clear
I'm only here as a governess because I don't know that my real father, the count, is on his deathbed. Hence the pending inheritance. Is that more acceptable?
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:27, archived)
# You really should go on the game, you know
A much more reputable profession for a woman. Oh! The very phrase "profession for a woman" makes me fell quite ill. Heavens! I think I need to play the piano or do some sewing.
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:30, archived)
# can you darn the gusset on my pantaloons
i seem to have worn them through!
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:31, archived)
# Certainly not!
What am I your pantaloon gusset sewing maiden?
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:33, archived)
# yes
yes you are, i pay you don't i?
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:34, archived)
# Sir,
you boil my blood.
You are not fit to bear the name 'Baron' nor are you fit to remove the scum from a pigs back with your tongue!!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:35, archived)
# one jests sir, i have removed much scum from many a pigs back..
and ones mother has never aired a grevance
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:37, archived)
# Once more sir,
you have insulted me and my good mother.
I must soon leave for China and will not till you have left B3tashire House taking your most foul manners and tongue with you!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:40, archived)
# You cannot leave us at this time of peril
There are cads, bounders, blackguards and scoundrels at the door. Who will protect us from this bed of immorality?
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:43, archived)
# I must leave in
half an hour, but will return around twoish.
I think you will be safe till then, My butler Podbury will be here to safeguard you.
And Lord Newington is a man of high morals, he will protect you.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:45, archived)
# i shall take this charge
with the gladdest of hearts
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:49, archived)
# I feel somewhat safer
But wait with bated breath for the return of the beloved Squire
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:50, archived)
# madam
there really is no answer to that.
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:54, archived)
# As you wish
my liege
(I helped save b3ta! Mornington Crescent Come the Envolution ..., Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:05, archived)
# you do look a bit pale
perhaps you should lie down in a darkened room?
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:32, archived)
# i'll get the butler
to fetch a poultice
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:42, archived)
# your kindness knows no bounds
Father shall reward you
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:44, archived)
# surely
the young gentleman in your charge will turn out to be the rightful heir and you'll get your comeuppance whilst trying to sell him into slavery
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:33, archived)
# he would have you think that
but it's been his plan all along to seduce me and steal my fortune. He is nearly 14 you know.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:41, archived)
# you what?
ah, i see.....forsooth etc
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:28, archived)
# Sir,
I impeach you no longer speak to the good Lady in such a familiar tone. Stand fast or I shall be forced to have my Father lobby the club to have your Father removed!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:31, archived)
# masticate on this you porcine vagina
*slap*
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:32, archived)
# Sir,
you have affronted my reputation in the presence of a lady.
A duel sir, a duel!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:34, archived)
# look over there
*points overhead and the runs in opposite direction*
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:35, archived)
# A cad
and a coward.
Sir, you are unmasked!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:36, archived)
# gasp
*swoon* (towards Squire Bovine Ludloe or some other gentleman, as I fear the baron would take unwelcome liberties)
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:34, archived)
# come hither to krauty
thoust will get a good seeing too.
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:36, archived)
#
Mate, its not Shakespeare, drop all the the thee's and thous'.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:38, archived)
# I shall scream
and hit you with a candlestick.
SAVE ME
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:39, archived)
# As I've not been saved, and I must go to bed
please find my body floating in the frozen pond.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:54, archived)
# Or I could run off with the Baron
whatever. Night.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:55, archived)
# Sorry,
and good night.

I'm talking to a corpse.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:58, archived)
# Podbury,
a Chaise longue for the lady!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:37, archived)
# Immediately
my liege
(I helped save b3ta! Mornington Crescent Come the Envolution ..., Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:06, archived)
# For such gallantry
You deserve a proper swooning!
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:40, archived)
# Madam
*holds hand*

Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to bring you round from a fit of the vapours.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:41, archived)
# Sir
*What totally different feelings did Lady Catherine take back into the house from what she had brought out! - she had then been only daring to hope for a little respite of suffering; - she was now in an exquisite flutter of happiness, and such happiness moreover as she believed must still be greater when the flutter should have passed away.*
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:47, archived)
# Tis a shame
I must leave you so soon.
My coach awaits at the gate and when I return I may be a different man. But know this before I leave, these past few posts have filled my heart more than any joy I have felt in the past years of my life.
I only ask a kiss before I leave.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:51, archived)
# Come away from the trout pond, good squire!
Perchance you may fall in and then my heart would be torns into shreds.
You may kiss me, step a little closer...
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:54, archived)
# I have
a firm footing.

*steps closer*
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:56, archived)
# *chaste peck on cheek*
Oh Joy! Oh Rapture!
*swoons, swoons some more*
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:59, archived)
# Right!
I'm off!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:00, archived)
# I have been
disgraced! Abandoned!What ever will Father say?
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:04, archived)
# I say!
What a terribly odd fellow.
(I helped save b3ta! The_Intriguing_Mr_P, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:04, archived)
# Sir
You are ever so intriguing
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:08, archived)
# Oh, I say!
*blushes*
(I helped save b3ta! The_Intriguing_Mr_P, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:13, archived)
# I've already swooned
if you swoon too, nobody will be able to scream or ask if anyone would like more tea.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:42, archived)
# So many ladies,
only one Squire Bovine.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:43, archived)
# you aren't doing a very good job of saving me
the Baron has had me for like 10 minutes.
I should get to bed anyhow. Should I be murdered or have an accident involving a frozen pond?
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:47, archived)
# something wrong with you more like
no offence.....well..maybe a little
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:25, archived)
# wait, no,
you are all misunderstood, tahts not really me per say.
hypothetically assume its me since its convenient for the caption. but its not. ahah.
(I helped save b3ta! sty, john deere lawn mowing team!, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:28, archived)
# too late
welcome to munterville
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:29, archived)
# ARGH!!!!!!!!!!
The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear The Fear
(BurningFeetMan, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:27, archived)
# that's cool
:)
(joshwa ultra lurker, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:30, archived)
# Im sure something similar has been done.

But I was bored
(I helped save b3ta! Arathkone formerly naD. Been away awhile., Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:18, archived)
# yep, did one last year
(blather http://blather.net, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:34, archived)
# blair decides to have a piece of that cheeky frenchman
(crazymum, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:15, archived)
# Spicy brains
French style
(Indole Ring, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:21, archived)
# ah oui.
les cerveaux épicés
(crazymum, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:22, archived)
# les oignons
de paradis
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:30, archived)
# vous pas
savez ce que vous faites l'imbécile
(dookie, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:27, archived)
# haha
hahahaha
(Matsayz, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:58, archived)
[challenge entry] I always wondered what was happening with his nose.


Now I know!

edit - Can anyone help on optimisation. Optimised it to death and its still quite big.
(I helped save b3ta! Threepwood is heading back to a town called b3ta, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:14, archived)
# ha ha ha ha
das ist gud.....yah!
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:14, archived)
# Bone Cam
ah! now things are beginning to make a little sense...
(I helped save b3ta! mozza, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:15, archived)
# .
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:10, archived)
# ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:11, archived)
# monkey to tight to mention
ohhh! monkey, monkey, monkey...

[edit]yes i am aware that the orangutang is a member of the ape family, not the monkey family
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:38, archived)
# What's that ape at the bottom called exactly?
I've been looking for pictures of this guy for ages but i don't know what to search for!
(SYS64738, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 12:15, archived)
# hello all
no comment
(zackius, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:05, archived)
# loike it
loike it
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:09, archived)
# peter kay
booked it, packed it, fucked off
(zackius, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:15, archived)
# "peter kay"
booked it, packed it, fucked off
(zackius, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:15, archived)
# can't chuffin' wait
8hrs 52 mins (according to my pc)
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:17, archived)
# I swear
I recognise that pub. Any idea which one it is?
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:10, archived)
# umm
it was called the bitter end, if thats any help
(zackius, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:11, archived)
# Oh OK then, move along...
But I do notice that the Bitter End's in Cockermouth....
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:15, archived)
# Dear Sirs
I read with interest that they are intending to remake hilarious fifties talking horse TV show Mr. Ed and aim it at a more modern audience... I can see it now... Street talking horse... Kinda like that 'hilarious' greetings card with Ali G-G on it...

BTW in theory this is my last 'full-time' b3ta day as I start work on a proper magazine where you have to do work tomorrow... So, it's been fun - although, like Dr. Phil, I'll probably be back in two days...
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:58, archived)
# neigh!
I like the old Mr Ed. If it an't broke don't fix it.

Good luck in your new job come back soon, bring pie etc.
Rob - did you know that Create Online is shutting down, talking of magazines?
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:01, archived)
# Morning,
my little chipmonk of love.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:04, archived)
# ello
gorgeous.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:09, archived)
# Ssshhhh.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:14, archived)
# I like
Create Online.
That's a shame.
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:04, archived)
# I did,
but recently it more like a very expensive pamphlet.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:06, archived)
# Well, of all the mags I get free here
it's the one I flicked through the most. Never actually read any of it obviously...
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:08, archived)
# exactly - nothing to read
I used to read it at the station, in the shop. And I still had time to spare, after reading all the 'indepth features'.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:11, archived)
# lets hope revolution magazine are next
.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:15, archived)
# Never read that.
I wish magazines could be more like the annuals I used to read when I was a kid.
Editors could learn a lot by leafing through old copies of Look in, and Look and Learn.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:17, archived)
# that's the problem with the youth of today
not enough problems solved in photostories
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:25, archived)
# Hey!
problems solved in photostories eh?
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:27, archived)
# Or
exploded diagrams of how aerosols work. And the details of Roman Chariot Racing.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:29, archived)
# i read that as
"exploded diagrams of how arseholes work."
Not what one would expect from a noble squire of your ilk.
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:48, archived)
# Ahem
I know someone who works on that...
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:18, archived)
# yeah!
down with the revolution!


(what's wrong with Revolution btw?)
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:18, archived)
# £6.50 for about 20 pages?
I thought i was grossly overpriced and had practically turned into the 'Hello' magazine of the web... I dunno. Good intentions maybe but just diddn't seem to work somehow. I was in it too, once or twice. Apparantly it was only selling about 2000 copies.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:08, archived)
# I think it's a hard
market to sell magazines for, people who use the web tend to read about web stuff on the web.
Web.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:11, archived)
# still think
it should be banned
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:13, archived)
# What?
The web?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:15, archived)
# yup
can't stand the thing, it's sick, it's wrong and it must be stopped.
(my honour is most unpleasantly tarnished)
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:20, archived)
# Your honour
is above tarnish Madam.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:24, archived)
# too kind a compliment
from too true a gent
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:32, archived)
# I don't think anything could tarnish YOUR honour


This could be taken in two ways...
(I helped save b3ta! tumph, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:36, archived)
# so could i
(?)
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:47, archived)
# yeah I heard about create
sad. a time is over. but not that sad. COZ THEY WOZ SHIT.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:07, archived)
# .
yo filly
(I helped save b3ta! idlesod, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:03, archived)
# Faster
than a speeding bullet..?



Be kind, I needed something nice and simple for my first anim...
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:57, archived)
# what a load of shit
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:58, archived)
# Yeah?
*blows raspberry*

and that's a crap name change too.
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:03, archived)
# well
you were just asking for it with that "be kind" plee :P
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:05, archived)
# My PLEA
was: "be kind"

/pedant

Edit: he he
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:08, archived)
# Reminds me of my mispent youth...
... which I'm still spending, but at a lower rate of interest these days.
(I helped save b3ta! technical itch, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:01, archived)
# I like that lots
here have a woo yay for your troubles
(I helped save b3ta! jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:14, archived)
# Thank
you
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:18, archived)
# little bit-o-politics

Click for readable
(I helped save b3ta! djol, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:54, archived)
# it's woo from me
and a yay from him
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:55, archived)
# It's the attention
to detail I like. (BSODs all round)

W/Y/H!
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:58, archived)
# nice.

Does that say 'toad king bollock brain'?
(I helped save b3ta! cow23, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:03, archived)
# "toadying"
normally stay away from poilical stuff, but if I can't take the piss out of tony, what am I paying my taxes for?
(I helped save b3ta! djol, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:09, archived)
# on the subject of politics
found this today, made me giggle
404error
if it's gc then i'll relurk.


(I helped save b3ta! clangers, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:07, archived)
# that's a quartz rooster I'm afraid
never mind :)
(I helped save b3ta! djol, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:12, archived)
# oops.
/relurk
(I helped save b3ta! clangers, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:16, archived)
# Totally and utterly
houpla
(flying_pasty, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:43, archived)
# Stupid Auctions
Each week we get sent 2 or 3 stupid ebay auctions.

I have a problem. If I save them for the newsletter then they're out of date. If I shove them on the blog then the traffic alerts ebay and the page gets taken down.

Here's todays. (The third problem is that it's not that great anyway.)
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2912186590&category=317
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:53, archived)
# thank you Rob
...that was errmmm ....great.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:55, archived)
# his
face amuses me
(roomproject, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:55, archived)
# jesus
that looks just like my friend lee... question is, do i email it to him?
(I helped save b3ta! isthisyou?, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:56, archived)
# yes
the email came with instructions too, "please please help me make this man the star he so blatantly deserves to be by forwarding this link to every1 in your address book. together we can make a difference!!!"
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:57, archived)
# Ewwwwwwwwwwww
It's kind of reassuring to know that the world contains individuals even more pathetic than myself
(Indole Ring, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:59, archived)
# or there are people with worse mates
who are prepared to stitch you up using only a digital camera and an ebay account.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:01, archived)
# Why do you think...
...so many people watch Eastenders?
(I helped save b3ta! technical itch, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:05, archived)
# mass lobotomies
occuring throughout the UK?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:06, archived)
# 'cause the Slater family rock
.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:06, archived)
# backwards and forwards
masturbating and crying
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:17, archived)
# on
their heels.
(I helped save b3ta! biscuits_alive taste my rainbow, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:28, archived)
# you scare me
But not as much as he does. (And hadn't you left B3ta?
(Mortimer, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:01, archived)
# left B3ta?
uh?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:02, archived)
# no
sorry, that was Pob
(Mortimer, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:04, archived)
# ah
oh.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:05, archived)
# Why not save the html...
and pics and request that a board member with excessive amounts of free bandwidth host the page on their site?

I've had enough free gigs lately to host something like that
(Kimbo, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:01, archived)
# I like the payment instructions...
"Rules n Stuff Please contact me within 3 days of the winning bid Items over 25 or from another country apart from UK , please use Billpoint All items will be packed and delivered as soon as payment is received Please leave nice feedback on ebay as soon as item is received Please check back from time to time for more bargains HAVE FUN , EBAY is not just for Christmas"
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke Of Your Fingers feels like an old man... mmm, tasty!, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:05, archived)
# Product placement
(I helped save b3ta! sp3ktor - no,.. I don't know either, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:51, archived)
# very good
bloody hell, that is a bit toooooo clever!
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:53, archived)
# good
one
(I helped save b3ta! cow23, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:54, archived)
# I Like
this.
Woo Yay!
(I helped save b3ta! The_Intriguing_Mr_P, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:54, archived)
# Hahaha
Lol
(BurningFeetMan, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:54, archived)
# that's excellent
smithers, release the dogs...
(I helped save b3ta! djol, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:57, archived)
# That is
very good indeed.
Woo and Yay
(BadgerJuice, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:00, archived)
# Hummus supreme!
(Chromatically Challenged, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:01, archived)
# ooh that's just like
a pixellated version of Alan Morris's video for 'ironic'

And the original pic am de bestest thing wot I have ever seen this morning
(I helped save b3ta! gingerbenji wrote a book http://goo.gl/8UiGjd, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:08, archived)
# Isn't it the Dutch ad for "Learn English"
with music from Chemical Brothers?
(I helped save b3ta! gfreeman is only here for the beer, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:38, archived)
# brilliant
& very clever
(I helped save b3ta! hYpe is haunted by humans, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:02, archived)
# oh yes!
just magnificent!

the board is so good today! keep it up people ;)
(I helped save b3ta! the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:42, archived)
# that
is the funniest post of the week.
(I helped save b3ta! WhoElse I'm what Willis was talking about, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 14:13, archived)
# Micheals next surgery...
arse
(emilie, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:48, archived)
# if i pre-empt this
by asking if it's the one where he has norks, could you just delete it?
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:51, archived)
#
"michAEl"
(I helped save b3ta! isthisyou?, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:53, archived)
# I always have trouble
remembering that - and it's my middle name...
(I helped save b3ta! The_Intriguing_Mr_P, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:55, archived)
# That makes your initials
BMP

(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:58, archived)
# s'better
than BNP tho
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:59, archived)
# some one
is switched on
(emilie, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:01, archived)
# Not me.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:05, archived)
# is it?
michael, micheal, michael, micheal. yes, it probably is. he wants to get an easy name to spell
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:57, archived)
# um
you can't direct link off of hotmail. and you prolly didn't make that yaself, eh?
(Mortimer, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:55, archived)
# plus it's a private group
so if it is something good, make the group public first
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:59, archived)
# *cries*
leave me alone, im only ickle...*sniff*
(emilie, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:05, archived)
# me, the 13th earl of mattingborough?
on a message board? with a young lady? with my reputation?
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:07, archived)
# face it
your screwed...
(emilie, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:10, archived)
# that's the second best offer i've had in months
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:18, archived)
# well
I can add a second to that...

woo and a yay
(emilie, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:36, archived)
# Chaps and Chapessessess
Can somebody do me a favour and delete the outline and colours from this so it is left with just the orange I and the lines in the square please I am shit at it please please please
(dapthechap probably has this as a status on facebook, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:46, archived)
# Shall I?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:46, archived)
# Beat ya to it
ner ner!
(I helped save b3ta! Andi is member 695 so have some damn respect, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:47, archived)
# I know,
nevermind, its funny that other people have taken up the cry.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:49, archived)
# Almost like a B3ta
panto.
(I helped save b3ta! Andi is member 695 so have some damn respect, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:50, archived)
# oh no it isn't
/obvious
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:52, archived)
# I was waiting for
that and you gave into the bait.
(I helped save b3ta! Andi is member 695 so have some damn respect, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:58, archived)
# What are we...
your... etc etc?
(I helped save b3ta! Andi is member 695 so have some damn respect, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:46, archived)
# What are we?
Your delete the outline and colours bitches?
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:47, archived)
# you's
just asking for trouble ain't ya?
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:47, archived)
# or alternatively
we could all do our own work, maybe? Hmmm..... practise and you could learn how to do it yourself ;)
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:47, archived)
# Awwww
please I am rubbish at it and it needs doing pronto or so I was ordered
(dapthechap probably has this as a status on facebook, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:49, archived)
# no. We do not do unpaid freelance work
sorry - you said 'you' were ordered, so YOU do it. End of story. Now run along.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:50, archived)
# You bad
bad man
(dapthechap probably has this as a status on facebook, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:50, archived)
# ha ha
that'll endear you to 'him' :)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:52, archived)
# Erm,
I think that's "endear"

/pedant
(I helped save b3ta! The_Intriguing_Mr_P, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:57, archived)
# of course it is
what's wrong with you man?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:59, archived)
# yay!
you've changed your name!
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:01, archived)
# Mr Fat Boab suggested it months ago
I think it's better
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:07, archived)
# Ask Bovine
He'll tell you everything...
(I helped save b3ta! The_Intriguing_Mr_P, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:45, archived)
# go on pep
creative opportunities like this come but once in lifetime
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:50, archived)
# If its not your job
Give them rubbish results. It'll encourage them to let you practice more.
(Danski, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:53, archived)
# no
sorry, that looks like a really boring task
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:48, archived)
# What are we?
African Americans in the 1800's???
(BurningFeetMan, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:48, archived)
# Funny thing is, in the time it took to reply...
...most of you could have just done it.
(I helped save b3ta! technical itch, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:49, archived)
# I'm gonna shake my fist at you now...
Look out, before I get my walking stick...
(BurningFeetMan, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:52, archived)
# See?
oliverbarker.com/i.gif
(I helped save b3ta! technical itch, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:59, archived)
# here you go
is this ok?
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:50, archived)
# hehehe
hehe
(dapthechap probably has this as a status on facebook, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:51, archived)
# ha ha ha
!
(I helped save b3ta! hYpe is haunted by humans, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:53, archived)
# actually looks really hard to do...
..not really up for doing real work...going for tea and a roll and sausage...then newspapers....might look at it later...
(I helped save b3ta! Bitchpapa, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:50, archived)
# Just use
quick mask mode (Q) a largish brush and go slowly.
(dirty_root, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:54, archived)
# In what
?
(dapthechap probably has this as a status on facebook, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:55, archived)
# Open up your local
potatoshop.
(dirty_root, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:57, archived)
# or wizz round it with paths -
which take time to learn but once you've learnt they are your friend forever. Woo to vectors.
(in p/shop)
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:57, archived)
# we could
paste a kitten on it if you'd prefer...
(I helped save b3ta! mozza, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:58, archived)
# Learn photoshop....
Good outline article with loads of extra notes:

www.evolt.org/article/Separating_an_object_from_its_background/22/43914/index.html
(I helped save b3ta! sinisterduck, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:46, archived)
# compare and contrast
www.lynxlips.com/uk/
www.b3ta.com/buffyswear/
(numlockers, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:45, archived)
# Isn't it becoming obvious?
Virtually every current trend in TV and online advertising has been inspired by B3TA.
I saw fish swimming round Waterloo last night for Audi, DAZ and Flash are doing 50's style silliness just like the recent compo and I daresay the "Real" adverts compo idea will be up next.
Dogs with funny noses in six months then?
(I helped save b3ta! technical itch, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:48, archived)
# it's true
they're everywhere

so nice to know so few of us are getting paid for it, too
(I helped save b3ta! isthisyou?, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:55, archived)
# C and N
give something approximating to Woo and Yay.

shame I can't hack it
(I helped save b3ta! gingerbenji wrote a book http://goo.gl/8UiGjd, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:12, archived)
# rude rooster
oh woo is me ta for the frontpage
(ivor_the_engine, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:43, archived)
# That's foul.
WYH
(I helped save b3ta! technical itch, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:45, archived)
# hahahaa
that's ace!
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:46, archived)
# hahahahaahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:46, archived)
# Hahahaha
hahahaha

silly chickens
(Indole Ring, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:48, archived)
# theres
nowt like a silly ckicken or 2 to brighten your day up

must return to work
(ivor_the_engine, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:52, archived)
# Stunning!
I love it!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:48, archived)
# Woo !
that's ace !!
(iamnotanumber, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:50, archived)
# brilliant
oh yes indeed
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:52, archived)
# Tea Monitor Interface Scenario
*pfffft!*

brilliant!
(I helped save b3ta! mozza, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:54, archived)
# Now thats what I call...
...b3ta than all the rest part 50
(Hibbyz Erm, what do I do with this then?, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:55, archived)
# MS get in on the "High-Tech War"

Click for readable
(I helped save b3ta! The_Intriguing_Mr_P, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:34, archived)
# very funny
well done that man
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:35, archived)
# Good lord,
thats great!
Have you gone all clever on me Mr.P.
I see that day off was well used.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:36, archived)
# Actually
I'm still ill - but (thanks to you) I'm able to log on from home now. Erm, cough, splutter...
(I helped save b3ta! The_Intriguing_Mr_P, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:38, archived)
# So,
another busy day of Tattyslapping.
Lock the door so the kids can't get in.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:39, archived)
# Nifty!
In a semi-threadjack, does anyone have a link to a really big picture of a Microsoft blue error screen?
(Kimbo, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:36, archived)
# Just hit all the keys at once...
... then jiggle the power lead a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! technical itch, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:38, archived)
# Google it!
Bound to be one there!
(BurningFeetMan, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:38, archived)
# install windows 98...
wait around a bit...it'll appear soon...
(I helped save b3ta! Bitchpapa, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:39, archived)
# you might find one
here
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:43, archived)
# Thank you thank you thank you!
I now have a nifty new desktop!
(Kimbo, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:45, archived)
# Yeah,
Made me laff. Deserves a Rick Hunter WOO!

(BurningFeetMan, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:38, archived)
# Woo yay and a hot-diggity-damn houpla!
(I helped save b3ta! the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:39, archived)
# that gets my thumbs up!
(anyone know how I can dislodge them?)
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:42, archived)
# Goose
grease.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:43, archived)
# honk honk honkety parp!
Yep, that worked thanks - but now I have a messy goose on my hands.
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:46, archived)
# ooh
i fancy a goose grease butty, maybe with extra blubber
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:46, archived)
# don't forget the turkey scrapings
Mmmm.
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:48, archived)
# and
gizzard of newt
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:13, archived)
# very good
woo hoo
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:42, archived)
# Fanny
taste-hic!
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:45, archived)
# couldn't decide which one to do
(I helped save b3ta! idlesod, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:33, archived)
# I like this one, but
Oh the cruelty of it all - can't you see he's in pain!
.
.
.
.
.
poor no hands!
(I helped save b3ta! The_Intriguing_Mr_P, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:36, archived)
# When was the last time he had
11 studs coming in his face
(dapthechap probably has this as a status on facebook, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:47, archived)
# January 14th
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 11:01, archived)
# Stop this filth
Lioncub pr0n:



one for the ladeez
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:33, archived)
# blimey - reminds me of that sub-porn
british gas advert or whatever it was from years ago - anyone remember that? Small child in a bath and a snake crawls in. It was foul
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Tue 18 Feb 2003, 10:40, archived)

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