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# This is what Matt REALLY looks like
Okey, the last one was TOO BIG and I had painted him green. But this is his face. Honest.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:48, archived)
# oh yeah
I know him.

(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
# he's my mum
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:50, archived)
# these
are really funny
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:50, archived)
# The girl on the right
is finding the whole thing paricularly hilarious.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:50, archived)
# I
would
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:53, archived)
# that's because she hasn't met us the 'Twin Gods of Love'
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:53, archived)
# Thats us
"Eros and Erosser".
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:56, archived)
# Ooh, that reminds me.
I want to suggest "Make Cancer Funny" as a challenge entry. Yes, I know it's done on Friday, but I just thought I'd say it now in case I forget.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:51, archived)
# "How to catch AIDS and influence people"
is my suggestion
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:51, archived)
# "Rape"
is my suggestion.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:53, archived)
# "flame b3ta.com/board"
is my suggestion.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:54, archived)
# "Paedophilia, is it really all bad?"
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:59, archived)
# "adolf was right"
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 16:08, archived)
# Arable farming has a lot of potential for humour.
It's true.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:56, archived)
# "photoshop some gravel"
I can't wait...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:57, archived)
# "Funny Paint"
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:59, archived)
# "nicest shades of grey"
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 16:08, archived)
# arf...
hilarious!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:56, archived)
# ain't he
beautiful? :)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:51, archived)
# you
would be much better keeping these on your hard drive and showing them to him , shopped pics of your friends rarely amuse total strangers and they don't come stranger than on here
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:51, archived)
# He does appear to have
a picture of a Roland TB 303 on his shirt
which makes him officially cool

EDIT Other than that you're correct in every way
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:52, archived)
# if
you say so , i've got one with The Clangers on , what does that make me?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:53, archived)
# Clothed
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:54, archived)
# I
knew it !
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:54, archived)
# it's funny
because his head is a weird shape.

boab, make a note of this post for your interview.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:54, archived)
# good snowboarding game
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# Indeed.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
# Nice game
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:56, archived)
# Darlins
I need to draw a jet of water.

Anyone got tips, or any Tattyshop brushes to do the trick with?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# try
taking a picture as you pee.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# ha ha!
That'll do the trick everytime (?)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# google
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# try drawing a threadwaste
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# i havent used my guide to threadwasting in yonks
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:48, archived)
# oi!
... I`m still logged on!



;-)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:50, archived)
# hahaha
that is great!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:52, archived)
# everytime
still funny :)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:53, archived)
# aww just
for that, I might let you off with one of your threadwaste posts!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:57, archived)
# that is
a good thing (not using it, i mean)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:51, archived)
# FFS
go to w1k.com for tutorials.
Or google photshop tutorials.

my suggestion:
Use spray can with differing levels of transparency and feathering.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# ooer Razor!
Perhaps you should give online lessons babe
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
# haha
When it comes to 'spray' effects I should perhaps steer clear.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:50, archived)
# you get your digital camera
and i'll spit on the lens.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# i say
cut a spray of water from another pic and paste it on
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# i say yes
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
# Done
Piccy coming soon
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:55, archived)
#
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:51, archived)
# Is that Dr Phil?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:52, archived)
# ok
my monitor is now covered in water.

can you imagine Dr.P-K EVER putting her hands anywhere near a bum sink?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:53, archived)
# I can now.
Cor.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:53, archived)
# ...
and think very carefully about your response...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:54, archived)
# Bum sink
Ha
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:54, archived)
# that's what they are
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:55, archived)
# hang on...
what`s that brown line on her upper lip???
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:58, archived)
# I
would :-)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:53, archived)
# hmmm ponder ponder
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# AAArrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.......
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# Sarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# I caught SARS on holiday.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# have you let it go yet?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:48, archived)
# *splutter*
you got it now.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:50, archived)
# damn
if you'd have given it to me a week ago, I would have snuck into Glastonbury and cleansed the world from the great unwashed.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:56, archived)
# show them some soap
works a treat
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:58, archived)
# does
anyone remember a movie were all the lights on a building made a big skull? I have childhood memories but i'm not sure if it was real.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# was it
an episode of Monkey Magic?


"Yaaaaa!!!! tatatatata!!"
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:48, archived)
# yeah, there were plenty of high rise tower blocks in that!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
# phew
I`m glad somebody else saw them!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:52, archived)
# nope
PIGSEEEEEEEEEiiiieeee

it was american i think, also did anyone ever watch slugs? Italian actors being dubbed into english by spanairds i seem to remember.

cewl
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:52, archived)
# < there a site
where a group do that in office block all over the place
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:50, archived)
# There was a strip in... I don't know, 2000AD or something years ago
with an evil computerised bulding that killed people, and it lit up in the shape of a skull. Philip Kerr nicked (IMHO legal types) the plot for his awful novel Gridiron.

Afternoon BTW...

Edit: Anyone see that thing last year where some guy hooked up a games consol to the lighting controls of a skyscraper and played Tetris with it?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:51, archived)
# took a minute
woo
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# .
thankyou.......
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# i can sort of see the fear in there
[EDIT] AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ITS IN THE WINDOW TOO!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# hmmmm
Am I actually looking at something interesting here???
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# the fear
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# no just the tired
dull meme
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:59, archived)
# cripes
that's like where's wally, with added terror.
w.y.h
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# Aaargh!
Jump! Jump you fools!!!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# heheh
A bit subtle.... is that the thing off The Streets` home page? where you make the little Mike Skinner (the wanker wot "sings") go up and down the floors?

Em.

Original Rot Material - a tribute

(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# kinnell!
not what i was expecting :)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
# Ahhhh
took me ages to spot
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:50, archived)
# Not-so-great movie sequels #2 Jurrassic park 4

Its a bit bigger than regulation, so to avoid risking slowing down peoples computers, heres a linky to it!

Link-ho!

(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# not clicked it yet
but you could put Jurrasic Park 2 in there too

absolute pile of horse shit
100% FACT!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# That was great.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# haha
nice :)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# that rocks
my man-socks
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
# yes..
gooood
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:50, archived)
# thats so wonderfully wonderful!
yay!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:50, archived)
# I saw it

but I couldn't make head-nor-tail of it.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# Dusty Bin
yay
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# haha
tres bien mes amis.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# hahaha
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# Hurrah
that is great
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# brilliant film
brilliant 'shop
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# thanks everyone
i take it noone else could work out those "clues".
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:51, archived)
# Test Drive ?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
# HAHBAHAHAHAHA
oops, typo but fits so ill leave it

thats so woo!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:42, archived)
# *zip!*
woohoo!

*zip!*
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# that is
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# lovely done
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# that is
just plain weird
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# Ahem


/veryoldreposteroone
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# Daughter Of An Evil Dictator
Tanks Daddy!
Click to big-it
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:40, archived)
# Heheheh
very good!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
# Arf!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:42, archived)
# whats the best 'free up your ram' software you can get
thats freeware?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# a reboot?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# Tea and scones
?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# Up your RAM!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# ram it up
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:40, archived)
# ram up your life!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
# RAM up your daughter!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
# bring your RAM to the slaughter!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# RAM a lam a ding dong.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:48, archived)
# Touch my RAM
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:50, archived)
# Feel the girth of my RAM!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:51, archived)
# Is that a song?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:56, archived)
# We were
doing songs?...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:58, archived)
# Do you have a male sheep
that's locked up or something?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# i am from
shetland
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# There you see
all the answers we need
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:51, archived)
# what are we
your ram it up bitches?

silly chicken
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# its called
'free up your ram' by the freeware company
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
#
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:40, archived)
# this is a lie
i believe
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
# First you ask questions
and then suggest we lie?

You young chaps these days....
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:42, archived)
# True, but it's probably the closest thing you'll get
to a real answer.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:42, archived)
# you
guys!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# I have RAMidle from when it was free
do you want me to mail it to you?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:40, archived)
# yes
thanks

can we pm on b3ta?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:42, archived)
# private message



no
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# personal
message
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# jesus
you truly are the queen of "cyber"!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 16:00, archived)
# That would be naughty
and rude.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# Right up the RAM!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# cor
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
# try
here

sorry. \bastard
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
# here
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
#
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# fdisk
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:42, archived)
# I used to use memturbo pro
but I don't since my boss wiped my PC, for me.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:42, archived)
# How kind
Did you run out of kleenex?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# no he's a twunt who thinks he
knows alot more about how RAID arrays work, than in practice he does
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:48, archived)
# This is what Matt ACTUALLY looks like

Honest...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# Shit,
it ginormopus!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# that's what
she said
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# no i don't
who are you?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# not arf gay enough....
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
# yes you do
and you know it...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# Christ on a segway
thats fucking massive.

and i'm on broadband.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# haha!
christ on a segway
*best expression ever*
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# Christ on a Segway!
That's fantastic!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:40, archived)
# that's enormous
poor dial uppers
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# Bigger!!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# hmmmmm
bit big
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# sweet christmas
that's huuuge
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# bigger
bigger

bigger

bigger

bigger
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# flippin' 'eck!
is he really that big?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# OKAY I made it smaller now
You guys don't give me much time to check what I did.

Happy now?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# use preview
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# HINT:
THAT'S WHAT THE PREVIEW BUTTON IS FOR
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
#
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# i haven't met 5.e but i'll tell him that
and i said it was wonderful
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# i'll never understand some people
...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# i have my essex/italian charm
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# I love you both
I don't want to fight with anyone. Except 0ogy. And Baaa.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# fair does
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# great name for a band
0ogy & Baaa
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# oh, please, no!
I couldn't cope with trolls collaborating
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
# Trollaborating.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:52, archived)
# yay
one person is enough to keep me mashing
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# *mwah*
never stop sweetheart.

btw, Dog wants you as best man ;)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# how splendid
i'll get him the finest of strippers
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
# just as long as
her norks aren't as nice as mine ;)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:52, archived)
# Did you fashion that...
...from your own jizz?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:40, archived)
# I dont think so...
He would have only managed to get half of the S that way :p
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# how
true
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:40, archived)
#
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
#
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# those are my initials!
Outside!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:42, archived)
# i'm bigger than you
are you sure?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:42, archived)
# I'm not sure if you are
but you'd be a fat bastard if you were
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# i am
6'4" 280lbs-ish
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# In that case
Outside!
*locks the door behind him*
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:48, archived)
# lol
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:48, archived)
# I'm always impressed by real world shopping
but let it go - he does original stuff, which is kind of what the sites for, and doesn't deliberately offend like baaa...
If you don't like someone's work, say nowt, if you don't like their attitude, ignore 'em.

/sacrelige - tis only a website, nowt personal!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 16:03, archived)
[challenge entry] Most Buses Jumped by a Chimp
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# Woo!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# fab
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# haha
nice finish :)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# fantastic!
mail me some hummus too, please :)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# hahaha
woo
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# brilliant !
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# that's
a good skid at the end there. A thumbs-ups would have been cool too.
WYH!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:40, archived)
# Why are two and a half of those buses green?
Woo, btw
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# shh!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# brilliant
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# ha ha
ace
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# that's just class
 
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:59, archived)
# .
GO FONZ GO!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 19:18, archived)
# my first ever post! yay!


she used her evil laser eyes to push the red button....obviously a bad mistake
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# yes
I love it! More please!

She`s a funny looking bird.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# Welcome
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# welcome
kitten...pull up.... gourd....blahj blah


hi woo
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# hahaha !
welcome n00b :)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# hahaha
wunnerfull!

welcome!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# class!
woo and welcome!
that username won't last you long though ;)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# you should
never use your laser eyes if you're not prepared to "face" the consequences =)

EDIT: Oh, and welcome =D
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# Welcome!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# hahahaha
wonderful :)

welcome :)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# < welcome to
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# top pic!
not seen that before
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# haha
that's ace! :)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:42, archived)
# that's both
brill and skill
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# welcome
is that you in the picture?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# her lazer eyes remind me of Superman II
and this superb website:

www.generalzod.net
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# ello there
and welcome
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:58, archived)
# i like doing football jokes
because i know so few of you wll get them.

yay for élitism!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:35, archived)
# is it
Christian Ziege?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# Robbie
Keane?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# Jamie Redknapp?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# he`s scum
since he left The Pool

walk on... walkkkkkk on....
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# yay
the pool !
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:40, archived)
# yay
indeed.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# well, I mean
if you just happened to start getting tickets for matches, I`m sure I could be persuaded to make my way up to that there North West to attend

;-)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# if
I did you could be sure I wouldn't be giving them away !
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# Tedward
Sheringham?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# he dont play for spurs no more
: (
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# slap it up me
for not reading the sport during the summer :-(

roll on the new season!

Liv-errr-poooool! Liiiii-vverrrr-pooooool!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:40, archived)
# terry
fennic
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:48, archived)
# ?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# haha !
didn't he used to knock his missus about?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# Im a Spurs fan
and i dont even get that
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# shame
on you then
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# Aah
I've been looking for the other one. Got my members stuff through the post today :)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:47, archived)
# terry
fennec.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:48, archived)
# I
got it
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:50, archived)
# is that dean austin's body?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# Is it
Ruel Fox?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:40, archived)
# nah
clearly Sol Campbell or Ledley King
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
# football quiz
name me 3 footballers with spider connections...?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
# erm...
*thinks*
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# Neil Webb
would be one of em...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# Neil Webb.
Marc Vivien Foe's wife.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# & Paul Ince
(wincey spider)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:48, archived)
# you Bastard!
this is from the sick joke about foe's wife (black widow) isn't it?

You're going straight to hell sonny
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
# ok, bitch.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# I say I say I say
I've just been contacted by some chap at the BBC asking for my top 10 tips on how to make people laugh. I've heard you chaps are amusing. Gwan, give us a tip.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:27, archived)
# Tickle
them.

Edit: Or show them a willy.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:27, archived)
# No offence, Boab,
but why have the BBC asked you this?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:33, archived)
# Who knew
old scottish men were the fount of all comedy?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:34, archived)
# they found my all info about comedy site - that's all.
plus of course I am an authority on all things comedic. If it doesn't make me laugh - it's not funny. That's the law.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# tickle them with your willy
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:34, archived)
# tickle their willy with your willy
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:35, archived)
# nb.
this does not work with women.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# Nor is it
funny.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:45, archived)
# Oh it is.
Have you seen his willy? It's shaped like an amusing vegetable.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
#
Cut a whole in your pocket and put your hand through your fly and shake hands with them.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:49, archived)
# Stick your cock in their
ear.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:27, archived)
# Hang on.
*drops trousers*

Ta daaa!!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:27, archived)
# whats that?
looks like a penis... only smaller...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# funny,
that`s exactly what I said to your ma last night
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:31, archived)
# blimey
a necrophiliac.

Who likes fat birds to...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:32, archived)
# I
like `em to be built for comfort, not for speed


"Yeeeeeeee-hhhaaaaawwwwwww!"
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:32, archived)
# Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:35, archived)
# yes
ta

;-)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
#
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:31, archived)
# awww...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:32, archived)
#
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:34, archived)
# *shove*
*snigger*

[edit] do a helicoptor imression with your willy
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# or open your flies...
pull yer wotsit out, turn your pockets inside out and shout

WOOLLY MAMMOTH
(works for me)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:31, archived)
# Wooly mammoth with thalidomide
more like
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:33, archived)
# I can see
how you earned your name.

I thought *I* was bad.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# show them your face
works for me
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# dawn
syndrome makes me laugh
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# you are sick
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:30, archived)
# down syndrome anyways
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:31, archived)
# he's
on about Dawn Syndrome the b3tan
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:33, archived)
# i'm not
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:35, archived)
# she is very funny
but I reckon Derek sounds like the natural comedian
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:31, archived)
# or Sue Drawbridge
hahaha
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:32, archived)
# sue pollard
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:33, archived)
# I don't trust Derek
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:33, archived)
# he has
undescended testicles
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:35, archived)
# rape their kids then blame it on their spouse/lover
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# shove it up yer arse
that usually makes me larf
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# the Stick joke
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# No no no no no
But I still laugh every time.....
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:30, archived)
# or...
the cheese joke.

No one ever gets it first time round.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:33, archived)
# Cheese Joke?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:35, archived)
# q) what kind of cheese does not belong to you?
a) Nacho Cheese.

The fish joke is better though :
q) What do you call a fish with no eyes....

a) Fsh.

/edit PLEASE do not make me explain it. They are not funny in the first place.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# ?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:38, archived)
# try saying it in a
mr t voice
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
# okaaaay....
nacho = not yo'

Fish with no 'i's = fsh.
*grabs coat*
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:41, archived)
# WANK IT!
WANK IT HARD!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# this is funny
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# what about
this?

(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:33, archived)
# that's funny but
it's lacking the word wank
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:34, archived)
# *runs across image naked*
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:35, archived)
# give them a copy of this
The BBC should love it


(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# tell them a joke
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# Get naked
or threaten their family till they do it.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# Make them watch
Monty Python
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# do the same thing
again and again and again and again and again and again and again
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:30, archived)
# haha
Touche.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:30, archived)
# tell them to
searc for "weapons of mass destruction" on google and then hit "i'm feeling lucky" it's hilarious
Especially when there were 10 emails exhorting me to do just that this morning. I pissed myself.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:30, archived)
# you truly are a master of comedy
*bows*

*cough* mistress
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:31, archived)
# never seen that
and only yesterday someone told me of a similar thing execpt you put in French Military Victories
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:32, archived)
# Nitrous oxide.
(seriously, though? Make the punchline come completely out of the blue - the joke should be completely unexpected to work.)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:30, archived)
# I started to try to think of something helpful to say
then remembered I'm rarely all that funny
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:33, archived)
# ooh ooh...
this one worked for me: find a copy of the vietnam war photo of the kids running from a napalm attack. photoshop out the soldiers and photoshop the fear in the background, so it looks like they're running from it.

works every time, i tell ya.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:30, archived)
# Well apparently, if you type WOMD into Google....
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:31, archived)
# you get diagrams of pregnant ladies
unless that was just a typo
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:34, archived)
#
pull my finger...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:31, archived)
# hahaha
that still gets a smile.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:33, archived)
# ..
1 Channel 5
2 Channel 4
3 ITV
4 ITV2
5 Sky
6 QVC
7 E4
8 CNN
9 FTN
10 UK Living
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:32, archived)
# alex horne is doing a show at edinburgh this year
called "making fish laugh". i saw a preview of it, it's all about the ten things that make babies laugh. it's very good.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:34, archived)
# top hats,
maybe a pipe too.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:44, archived)
# First post
I've lurked for ages but not posted cos I'm a scaredy cat!



what a way to start... by posting a picture that didn't work for ages :(
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:26, archived)
# you've lurked for 5 minutes
lurking was much longer in the old days. ;)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:27, archived)
# i lurked for 8 months
87.5% fact
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# So you really lurked for 7 months
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# yup
:)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# Maybe he lurked without registering.
You didn't think of that, did you fucko?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# i did
but chose to chance my arm anyway
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# thats MR fucko to you
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:30, archived)
# MR?
Does that stand for Major Retard?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:33, archived)
# You're very angry today
Are you all right?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# i thought that
but then again i've insulted so many people over the years it's hard to keep track ;)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:39, archived)
# you were lucky
in my day we lived in cardboard box in middle of t'road
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# erm... arn't you newer
than him?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# thebear
is older than time
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:31, archived)
# And yet still younger
than Fat Boab.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:33, archived)
# nope fatboab is younger than me
FACT
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:46, archived)
# we used to dream of a cardboard box
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# ello there
i get a collage... but welcome anyway
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:27, archived)
# bugger
quickly consulting FAQ to work out why image not working...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# no src="" in your img tag
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:34, archived)
# the faq is your friend
as is the edit button



edit: woo! it's great!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# nice one
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:33, archived)
# Blimeh!
That's a very nice first post, mind. Welcome, pull up a kitten!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:34, archived)
# Yay!
Good piccy.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:34, archived)
# yay!
it's lovely though :)

welcome :)
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:35, archived)
# Thanks
I wont tell how long it took...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# I bet you
WILL!

go on.. tenner.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:42, archived)
# OK, for a tenner...
It took me just over 2 hours!

But I'm still getting to grips with photoshop via online tutorial-thingy.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:52, archived)
[challenge entry] .
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:23, archived)
# I played that this morning!
woo
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:24, archived)
# Koits supposed to
be a doing a backing track of that for me to add my dulcit tones to.

Its a cracking song.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:25, archived)
# it's on the comedy
disc I'm making for you
as is a few bonzo songs like "hunting tigers out in India"
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:27, archived)
# Yay!
I look forward to hearing it.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# I love the Bonzos they are great
Hello Mable, and Big Shot are my personal faves
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:30, archived)
# the
bonzo dog band are great.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:32, archived)
# I used to know
one of their sons...

erm...that's a bit tenuous isn't it?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:36, archived)
# I'm still waiting on that with anticipation.
Big woo Mr monkeon btw.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# Me too,
I've been practising and EVreethin'.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:32, archived)
# Hahahah
lovely
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:24, archived)
# You have
swooned my macaroons.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:24, archived)
# hmm
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:24, archived)
# we have a winner
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:25, archived)
# if you were judge
then maybe
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:26, archived)
# If I were a carpenter, and you were my lady.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:29, archived)
# we have a winner
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:25, archived)
# Hands down
winner!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:25, archived)
# yes
very good
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:27, archived)
# they
deliver giant eggs now too?
w00t!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:28, archived)
# oh
yes!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)
# Stupendous!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:43, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHHAAHAH
Monkeon. You are a fucking genius. PLEASE write to channel4 and get a TV show. You really do deserve it.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:57, archived)
# A knighthood
for this man!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 21:52, archived)
# he he
(, Thu 10 Jul 2003, 1:47, archived)
# That was
number one when i was born. eek!
(, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 1:53, archived)
# The Sick Truth About Pillows

AND I SLEEP ON ONE OF THOSE EVERY NIGHT YEOUCH!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:22, archived)
# ooh
nice
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:23, archived)
# theres no cushion helicopter!
it's woosome
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:23, archived)
# Arf
The pillow-head shark!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:23, archived)
# yay
that's fab
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:24, archived)
# scary
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:24, archived)
# woo
yay! =) that's fucking great =D
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:34, archived)
# woo!
but




conspiracy
(, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 15:37, archived)

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