Evening

( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 18:23, archived)

I've agreed to a q and a session for under 10s next week. As a favour to where I'm staying. Cunt will be on the curriculum

( mongychops, Sat 16 May 2026, 18:40, archived)

Is there any Q to which the A isn’t “cunt”?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 16 May 2026, 18:43, archived)

They will find out. Obviously cunt is a nuanced word.

( mongychops, Sat 16 May 2026, 18:45, archived)

errrrm
am I having a stroke, are all the sites I love most blending into one, wtaf is happening
( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 18:54, archived)

this is like the fucking chalk drawing bert does when it starts to run and melt in the rain
( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 18:55, archived)

What sites do you love apart from www.b3ta.com/talk?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 16 May 2026, 19:07, archived)

Seems like porn ones

( mongychops, Sat 16 May 2026, 19:31, archived)

😬🙃😉

( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 20:43, archived)

are there any others, I hadn't noticed

( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 20:43, archived)

maybe but I cunt imagine what

( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 18:55, archived)

under 10 seconds seems very short

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 16 May 2026, 19:57, archived)

Under 10's are savage, have absolutely no filter and will ask you some of the weirdest shit ever
You'll have a blast.
( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sat 16 May 2026, 20:27, archived)

spanishfly is well jel

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 16 May 2026, 20:37, archived)

-q +t

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 May 2026, 1:03, archived)

i'm wasted here

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 May 2026, 1:03, archived)

what have you taken?

(piss and shit, Sun 17 May 2026, 8:16, archived)

that's it, fuck it, idgaf about anything any more. so I'm calling it. piss is the new ge. boom, done, it's established fact now
( vladimir, Sun 17 May 2026, 10:54, archived)

b3ta

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 16 May 2026, 19:13, archived)

ANAL

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 16 May 2026, 19:46, archived)

Evening

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sat 16 May 2026, 20:26, archived)

PEEvening

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 16 May 2026, 21:29, archived)

if you've come here for pee chat.......URINE LUCK!!!!! \o/

( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 21:38, archived)

Morning

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 16 May 2026, 8:30, archived)

Yes?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 16 May 2026, 8:33, archived)

morning morning

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 16 May 2026, 8:40, archived)

Invizzo

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 16 May 2026, 8:40, archived)

morning,
morning
( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 9:32, archived)

oh god

( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 9:32, archived)

rold

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 16 May 2026, 8:40, archived)

Iz

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 16 May 2026, 8:41, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sat 16 May 2026, 9:18, archived)

Mnnng

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 16 May 2026, 9:22, archived)

Mmmm

( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 9:33, archived)

shit sorry, wrong site

( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 9:33, archived)

Once there was this man who
Posted on the internet and didn't seem to realise
He was on the wrong site
He just typed out all that shit anyway
He didn't understand that no-one's going to read it
Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 16 May 2026, 10:16, archived)

:-D :)))

( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 10:18, archived)

yo

(piss and shit, Sat 16 May 2026, 9:57, archived)

Cat ba island is stunning

( mongychops, Sat 16 May 2026, 11:09, archived)

nobody cares about your fucking stupid fucking cat ba island

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 16 May 2026, 11:27, archived)

No but seriously mongy I’m just envious, hope you’re having the time of your life.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 16 May 2026, 11:28, archived)

Steady on. Im having an alright time. Let's keep this sensible eh

( mongychops, Sat 16 May 2026, 11:32, archived)

TIME OF YOUR LIFE OR NOTHING
No half measures.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 16 May 2026, 11:36, archived)

I can't take that pressure, booking a flight home

( mongychops, Sat 16 May 2026, 12:23, archived)

IT BETTER BE THE FLIGHT OF YOUR LIFE

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 16 May 2026, 12:39, archived)

Everybody's expectations of me enjoy life is too much. Gonna roll a 7

( mongychops, Sat 16 May 2026, 13:52, archived)

Should I be angry?
My son just texted me out of the blue and the message started...

Hi mate!

I may be overreacting, but... Mate? Mate? Why don't you just call me by name!!

Anyway, Happy Friday you cunt warts
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 15 May 2026, 16:12, archived)

Tits. Mate.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 15 May 2026, 16:20, archived)

Might reply
Hello accquantence

I am overreacting aren't I?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 15 May 2026, 16:27, archived)

Yes

( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 17:03, archived)

"Old Father Breast"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 15 May 2026, 16:26, archived)

Old?!?!?! 😡

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 15 May 2026, 16:27, archived)

Calm down dad

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 15 May 2026, 16:28, archived)

block the prick

(piss and shit, Fri 15 May 2026, 16:37, archived)

Done
That'll learn him
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 15 May 2026, 16:49, archived)

Moobdaddy

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Fri 15 May 2026, 16:37, archived)

Fat??? 😡

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 15 May 2026, 16:49, archived)

No, not fat, voluptuous

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Fri 15 May 2026, 16:59, archived)

*relaxing* 🙂

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 15 May 2026, 17:07, archived)

My son has always called me mate or dad, or dad mate. I'm not that precious. Grow up

( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 16:56, archived)

Childish? 😡
I was only kidding... I call him mate or dude all the time
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 15 May 2026, 17:09, archived)

This is actually really lovely and imo you might consider feeling blessed that your son messages you in this way. It signifies affection and trust, familiarity and safe-feeling. These are good things and you should bask in them as a cat upon a sunwarmed windowsill. Thanking the universe for giving you this beautiful, this inestimable gift. How wonderful, how impossible: a son, who one day sends you a message, it says "Hi mate!" These are the moments for which the world was made
( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 17:14, archived)

How lovely
What has happened to talk 😂
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 15 May 2026, 17:21, archived)

;)
( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 17:21, archived)

I think "these are the moments for which the world was made" is maybe something I've lifted and fully ingested from A Room With A View, thanks dear Eddie as always xx
( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 17:24, archived)

fyi when I write this kind of thing, it's because I genuinely believe their spiritual and creative essences can read the words, true story
( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 19:59, archived)

even if they could vlad, why on earth would they?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 16 May 2026, 1:23, archived)

I don't know, bored maybe

( vladimir, Sat 16 May 2026, 2:19, archived)

Bored with eternity, not really a surprise if you think about it

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 16 May 2026, 12:41, archived)

*bums*

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 15 May 2026, 18:16, archived)

god wow wow proustian rush
( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 20:00, archived)

Disinherit him

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 17:16, archived)

Or what Vlad said. Whatever
Mate
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 17:17, archived)

lolololol the contrast of these two replies sitting, for now, together on the screen is absolutely fucking SENDING me
( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 17:21, archived)

And by 'inherit', you mean 'embowel'.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 15 May 2026, 18:17, archived)

embowel embowel they drink it in the congowel

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 18:35, archived)

PAPA NIPPLEZ

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 15 May 2026, 17:31, archived)

"Sir" or GTFO

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 17:55, archived)

Faaaaaaaaaatheeeeerrrrrrrr!!!!!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 15 May 2026, 18:30, archived)

I read this in Matt Berry's voice.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2026, 20:51, archived)

I believe that was the idea, Trouser

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 15 May 2026, 21:16, archived)

No
Actually it’s written as Damien at the church doors screaming and howling.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 15 May 2026, 23:46, archived)

Guildford cathedral, that scene

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 16 May 2026, 9:27, archived)

WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!?

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Fri 15 May 2026, 21:33, archived)

I wonder what his b3ta username is
www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/26107220.cumbria-man-smeared-poo-kendal-police-station---sentence/
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 19:31, archived)

"Subscribe to read this article"
We need details, Cheers. Come on!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2026, 20:53, archived)

This site is your friend
www.removepaywall.com/
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 20:58, archived)

i like that
it's a bit clunky to use but it worked on a washington post article
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 16 May 2026, 2:07, archived)

"The defendant smeared his human faeces, commonly known as a dirty protest, within the police station custody area. He pleads guilty on the basis he did not do this within a custody cell"
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 20:59, archived)

It may have been custardy to start with, but it didn't stay custardy for long.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 15 May 2026, 23:57, archived)

Queef Smegwin

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 15 May 2026, 21:16, archived)

Err, I mean yeah I wonder too

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 15 May 2026, 21:18, archived)

Smeggers plays pop

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Fri 15 May 2026, 21:34, archived)

Lay down your money and you play your flute, Everybody's got a h- h- hungry hoop

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 16 May 2026, 1:04, archived)

Hullo jobby's
Ze veekend ist hier.

Going to Leighton House in Kensington 2moz then round the Churchill for a pint.

Might guffpipe a gecko

u
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 15 May 2026, 15:48, archived)

Christ shut up will you nobody reads all the shit you type

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 15 May 2026, 15:58, archived)

Is he still alive? Miss frank

( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 16:00, archived)

Dunno. Bring back Bollocks Parrot.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 15 May 2026, 16:19, archived)

I can report that Frank is still alive but his bird recently died.
His actual feathery bird, not his missus.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 15 May 2026, 19:01, archived)

Rip momo

( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 19:16, archived)

I'm off to Bến phà Tuần Châu to get the ferry

( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 15:58, archived)

Ha Long Bay?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 15 May 2026, 16:33, archived)

No. Cat ba

( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 16:55, archived)

+r

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 17:18, archived)

Pissing afternoon

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 15 May 2026, 11:52, archived)

In Scotland, 'wee' means 'small piss'

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 15 May 2026, 11:58, archived)

"wee shite" means "small piss shit"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:22, archived)

And "wee pee shite jobby" means "small piss piss shit shit"

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:33, archived)

/links, you mean

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 15 May 2026, 13:25, archived)

In France, "wee" means "piss off"

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:29, archived)

actually it means "yes, piss off"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:49, archived)

wee

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:50, archived)

i just lost an nvmwee drive. fuck sake
well not me, windows, well, not windows, the bios, well not the bios oh just fuck off
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 15 May 2026, 13:12, archived)

nobody cares about your fucking stupid fucking cat5

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 13:14, archived)

Top notch

( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 13:29, archived)

Not even in my top 10

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 14:02, archived)

Smegs benny dick

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:11, archived)

I just won a beer glass up the pub. Great, be a nice surprise when I go in my rucksack to find shards of glass. Think I'll leave it here
ibb.co/pB85tQM7
( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:17, archived)

talk got blocked at work for being porn
but as I'm in charge of that sort of thing you will be relieved to know I whitelisted it.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:42, archived)

listed wee-wee'd
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:54, archived)

Can’t think why

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( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:54, archived)

I was going to add "post ASCII dicks"
but knew someone would oblige.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 15 May 2026, 13:08, archived)

COCK TUESDAY

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 13:12, archived)

Post skinks

( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 13:16, archived)

YASSSSSSSSS
\o/
( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 14:21, archived)

I found a lovely isotonic drink called aquarius. Like a lemonade.

( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 14:58, archived)

lovely x

( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 15:21, archived)

Tree out of severance
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cwy2pzpgerzo
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:48, archived)

5/7 Wes Streeting helmit pix

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 15 May 2026, 13:33, archived)

#mrhorrible
( Octo I ruin everything., Fri 15 May 2026, 14:00, archived)

thank crunchie it's friday
'member? 'member?
(piss and shit, Fri 15 May 2026, 7:00, archived)

morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 15 May 2026, 7:23, archived)

I try not to remember things if I can avoid it.
Morning.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 15 May 2026, 7:43, archived)

don't worry be hopey

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 15 May 2026, 7:45, archived)

I’ve had a good morning, piss

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:05, archived)

I've had a good piss, morning

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:17, archived)

my finger poked thru the loo roll
i had a bad morning shit, piss
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:20, archived)

It's a shit pissness

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:21, archived)

Pissky Business

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:23, archived)

Top GUM

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:26, archived)

Mission: Impissible

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:27, archived)

The Last Samurine

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:43, archived)

Bridge Over The River of K-Wee

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:45, archived)

NEEDS MORE TOM CRUISE

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:45, archived)

ferris bueller's piss off

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:46, archived)

IT'S A SIMPLE IDEA, TOM CRUISE PISS FILMS, WHY CAN'T YOU IDIOTS PLAY BY THE RULES

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:48, archived)

piss outside the box

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:49, archived)

It's people like you that ruined every image challenge.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:52, archived)

Micturation Report

( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:56, archived)

Cocktrail

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:54, archived)

Vanilla Piss

HAPPY NOW!?
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:24, archived)

Drain Man

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:38, archived)

Urinity Report

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 10:21, archived)

MINE IS BETTER MINE IS BETTER

( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:56, archived)

your sig it hurts my brain again and again

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:44, archived)

I can't even remember the grammatical failure that prompted it, might change it now

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:45, archived)

or not, I'll have to wait for inspiration to strike

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:47, archived)

looks like it stroke

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 15 May 2026, 11:10, archived)

The 'brown ballerina'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:00, archived)

NEW IMAGE CHALLENGE: KEANU REEVES SHIT FILMS

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:06, archived)

Bram Stoker's Diarrhoeacula

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:07, archived)

Bill and Ted's Excrement Adventure

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:23, archived)

Bill and Ted's Poo-Guts Journey

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:43, archived)

Poo Break

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:25, archived)

Constipated

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:26, archived)

My Own Private Portaloo

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:28, archived)

Sonic the hedgelog 3

( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:53, archived)

A Splatter Darkly

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 15 May 2026, 10:28, archived)

Johnny Poomonic

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 15 May 2026, 10:29, archived)

Speed Poo

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 15 May 2026, 10:29, archived)

John Shit

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 15 May 2026, 10:30, archived)

The Day The Earth Stool Still

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 10:39, archived)

Bill and Ted Faeces The Music
( Octo I ruin everything., Fri 15 May 2026, 11:14, archived)

The Scatrix

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:23, archived)

nobody cares about your fucking stupid fucking scat

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 12:24, archived)

lol
( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 13:05, archived)

Good I've had a morning, piss

( broadsword, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:34, archived)

Cat shenanigens in the house is getting a bit better
a smidge less hissing from Aggie, a tiny bit more staring out from both, about the same manic running about from Boston and then paniced hiding from Aggie but kitten-steps and that.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:47, archived)

nobody cares about your fucking stupid fucking cats

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 15 May 2026, 8:52, archived)

I do. I care more about them than you and dozer shit posting

( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:06, archived)

We seem to have a range of opnions then.

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:34, archived)

^ knows his opnions

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:39, archived)

ah no you destroyed your sig? how will i ever remember how infuriating it was?

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 15 May 2026, 11:07, archived)

I'm not sure anyone wants those 2 shit posting.

( mongychops, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:43, archived)

postman pat lyrics went a bit off here

( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 11:45, archived)

SHE-NAN!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:21, archived)

whatevs

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:31, archived)

God, I've had a pissing moron

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 15 May 2026, 9:19, archived)

Good morning merry gentlefolk of /talk
may the rest of your day be blessed with the fulsome tidings of joy
( Octo I ruin everything., Fri 15 May 2026, 10:01, archived)

now this i can get behind

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 15 May 2026, 10:35, archived)

because one day you'll have the 'membering of it

( vladimir, Fri 15 May 2026, 11:44, archived)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 14 May 2026, 18:50, archived)

piss off

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 19:03, archived)

such animosity after one shitpost

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 14 May 2026, 19:05, archived)

might go back to just posting WILLIES! every half an hour

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 14 May 2026, 19:06, archived)

yeah? well you can fuck right off

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 14 May 2026, 19:09, archived)

Piss off is stored under high pressure in the bollocks.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2026, 19:48, archived)

lol

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 21:12, archived)

hello MiseryCunt x

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 20:11, archived)

I just had a humorous old-man uprock battle in the street with an 80s NY graffiti legend
He started it
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 20:23, archived)

haha yeah

(piss and shit, Thu 14 May 2026, 20:34, archived)

fr
fr
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 21:18, archived)

What's uprock?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2026, 22:04, archived)

WHAT'S UP, DOG!!!!!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 22:08, archived)

shut up you stupid prick

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 15 May 2026, 0:15, archived)

That's 'Mr Hudson' to you m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 15 May 2026, 0:16, archived)

Game over, man! Game over!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 6:45, archived)

Scrotal Eclipse of the Barse - Gonnie Tyler

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 14 May 2026, 21:14, archived)

I got me a cock, it's as big as a whales And we're headin' on down to the nut sack

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 14 May 2026, 21:17, archived)

Jism on the mattress
Jism on the highway
Jism on the front porch
Jism on the hallway
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 14 May 2026, 21:19, archived)

Cause you love crack,
Cause you love crack baby
( Octo I ruin everything., Thu 14 May 2026, 21:29, archived)

Indeed
I didn't have decanting part of my best friend's ashes into a locket on my bingo card for tonight, but here we are.
( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Thu 14 May 2026, 21:35, archived)

sorry for your loss

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 14 May 2026, 22:51, archived)

He died just before Christmas
But having his ashes makes it so much more real.
( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Thu 14 May 2026, 23:39, archived)

Pushing the best thread ever down the board
Greetings, spazmonaut's, hows it going

Bit down in the dumps this week. Usual cause, my kid
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 11:59, archived)

not that you asked

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 11:59, archived)

Has she taken all the money she inherited
and donated it to Nigel Farage for his security?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:38, archived)

Yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 15:04, archived)

Oh man, I sure am glad I'm not Nigel Farage right now

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:30, archived)

I'm trying to understand why you would say that and my conclusion is that you're Nigel Farage

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:41, archived)

It's just occurred to me that Nigel can be affectionately shortened to Nig

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:46, archived)

Ninjel Farage, WAKE UP SHEEPLE

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:51, archived)

alright

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:00, archived)

Free pissup and graffiti l8r

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:04, archived)

Yeah I saw

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:09, archived)

Shud b gud lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:20, archived)

alright spunk

(piss and shit, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:13, archived)

not too bad, piss

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:21, archived)

It’s going spasmodically, thanks.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:23, archived)

lol flid

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 12:34, archived)

Yeah I'm a FLID
Fantastically Lovely Incredible Dude
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 13:43, archived)

THIS YES THIS <3

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:07, archived)

I like this emotional support and encouragement you’re providing.
Thanks, vlad. Thlad.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 17:33, archived)

:) I really mean it, too
I am genuine, online
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 20:11, archived)

that's never a mistake, right?

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 20:11, archived)

No never.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 15 May 2026, 0:24, archived)

That's great news m8
Unfortunately you also have SKILL
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:08, archived)

squirrels, killing in large landrovers
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:10, archived)

spelling quality is lax, lacking
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:10, archived)

Sexy knees in long legs?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:17, archived)

Smelly Kraken in lavatory, leering

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:23, archived)

Sash Kules Iverything Lround Le

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:59, archived)

can confirm
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/99401/1778766969/flid.jpg
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:57, archived)

Lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 15:05, archived)

Ok this actually made me snort, not quite a LOL but definitely a SNE.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:02, archived)

harmless humor
in all seriousness, there needs to be proper warning, lactose is a common allergen
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:50, archived)

It really isn't, by any measure.
www.sps.nhs.uk/articles/assessing-the-clinical-impact-of-lactose-in-medicines/
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:59, archived)

I remember one woman who had prescriptions for several licensed medicines,
and specified that they had to be particular brands so that she could be sure they were lactose-free.

She also had prescriptions for various homeopathic pills, apparently blissfully unaware that they're made of fucking lactose.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 17:04, archived)

but the water remembers that they're harmless

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 19:55, archived)

lolololol

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 20:12, archived)

You're absolutely correct, I keep forgetting about the magic water.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Fri 15 May 2026, 6:48, archived)

pfffffffff

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 17:04, archived)

'Spazmonaut' is easily the best song on Black Sabbath's Vol 4 album.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2026, 13:07, archived)

Think I was suffering a bit of heatstroke today, felt rough. Only just left my gaff. Just gone 7pm here

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2026, 13:19, archived)

I got burnt to shit in Da Nang
like a prize British twat
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 13:39, archived)

Oh mine was self inflicted, walked about 6 miles around Hanoi yesterday, drank a load of water but it was actually sunny yesterday.

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2026, 13:48, archived)

rehydration sachets REHYDRATION SACHETS
GO TO A CHEMIST
They'll electrify you
wait that's not quite right
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:03, archived)

All taste like shit tho

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:13, archived)

I did bring some with, I've travelled before young fella

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:14, archived)

ok good well done x
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:40, archived)

Yeah I prepared. On my own so if I get ill I need it on hand. I've run out of deet tonight tho. Need to get that

( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:47, archived)

proud of you

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 17:07, archived)

Wes Fleeting

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 13:43, archived)

lol
I can't even be bothered to read up on it all so this specific post will do as my current affairs catch-up. tyvm
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:06, archived)

Welcs bro
Welcs
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:09, archived)

:-D

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:11, archived)

SHUT UP, WESLEY

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 15:01, archived)

darling Queefy, old bean, I'm sorry you're down in the dumps, we can't have this WE CAN'T HAVE THIS
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:05, archived)

It's not ideal old boy, that's for sure

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:06, archived)

*passes you a cigar*
*pours you a burra peg*
*leans back in wing chair*
*companionable silence*
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:09, archived)

why are you wearing mr. horrible's smoking jacket?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:23, archived)

The one made out of the skin of baby elks
and stitched with Epstein's used dental floss?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:39, archived)

no the other one

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:41, archived)

His "high days and holidays" one?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 14 May 2026, 15:15, archived)

yes uh-huh

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 15:24, archived)

ahahahahahaaaaaa I REALLY LIKE THIS

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 14:40, archived)

It would be going better if I didn't have to work

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Thu 14 May 2026, 15:44, archived)

i dreamed a dream in time gone by

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 14 May 2026, 10:52, archived)

d
drea bu
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 11:05, archived)

STEAMED a BUM more like!!!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 11:06, archived)

Was it that one where your teeth fall out and then you're trying to run as fast as you can but you're not moving and then Tintin and Captain Haddock spitroast you while Snowy watches?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 11:31, archived)

And when you opened your eyes you found your mum had left a cup of tea on the nightstand?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 14 May 2026, 11:40, archived)

Morning team, almost Friday
Don’t forget to fill out your timesheets!
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 14 May 2026, 7:14, archived)

morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 7:35, archived)

morning, morning

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 14 May 2026, 7:48, archived)

Can't get mixcloud to play on my sonos speakers any more, might kill myself

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 7:52, archived)

sending thoughts and prayers in this difficult time

Can I have your LPs after you’ve topped yourself?
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 14 May 2026, 7:59, archived)

You wouldn't like my records.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 8:03, archived)

I’m not going listen to them
They’ll be displayed on the wall of my Gen-Z hipster cafe
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 14 May 2026, 8:08, archived)

I have the 2017 repress of Hex and the 2018 repress of Codename:dustsucker
Also some repress of Spiderland.

Get ready to party!
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 8:11, archived)

If you don't have the 12" of No Name No Slogan by Acid Horse,
the one-off collaboration between Cabaret Voltaire and Ministry, then it's a shit record collection.

Sorry, that's the rules, I didn't make them.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 14 May 2026, 8:27, archived)

Don't have that, but I do have the 12" of Revenge by Ministry.
It's a fucking BANGER.
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 8:28, archived)

I recently bought the red splatter vinyl reissue of Killing Joke's Wardance/Pssyche 12" for a tenner from Cadiz Music.
They threw in a free hand-numbered (limited to 1000) 7" of the 2003 rerecording featuring everyone's favourite drummer, Dave Grohl. I'm going to wait until he croaks and then sell it.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 8:36, archived)

I fucking LOVE Dave Grohl!!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 8:39, archived)

My favourite thing about him is when the turns up as a special guest at everyone's set at Glastonbury.
Everyone's.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 8:42, archived)

Hey guys! Where can I plug in?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 8:55, archived)

sigh
*Bends over*
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 14 May 2026, 9:48, archived)

ANAL

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 9:52, archived)

Walking After You

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 14 May 2026, 10:51, archived)

I was in the sonos ecosystem.
But their app updates and lack of bluetooth killed it off for me. They have at least moved to offering bluetooth connections on their latest devices.
( Octo I ruin everything., Thu 14 May 2026, 8:57, archived)

I just don't think anecdotes are your forte.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 9:09, archived)

You were in the sonos ecosystem, is that what you said?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 16:44, archived)

Hello

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 14 May 2026, 8:14, archived)

garideb

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 8:16, archived)

alright

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 14 May 2026, 8:21, archived)

Wait, we haven't done Thursday yet, don't come at me with that Friday bullshit.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 8:33, archived)

This corporate bullshit version of b3ta is bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 14 May 2026, 9:10, archived)

I GOT MIXCLOUD BACK ON MY SPEAKERS!!!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 9:10, archived)

TURN IT DOWN YOU FUCK

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 14 May 2026, 9:15, archived)

Got some classic Koma & Bones on the go.
They were consistently great.
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 14 May 2026, 9:30, archived)

morning, Cheers

( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 9:40, archived)

morning, morning
oh christ not againhelphelp
morning, morning
morning, morning
morning, morning
morn*cries*rning
( vladimir, Thu 14 May 2026, 9:41, archived)

Art show party tonight, live music and free champagne
fadmagazine.com/2026/05/12/toxic-always-ever-since-83-woodbury-house/

Woo, yay etc
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 14 May 2026, 10:36, archived)

Night

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 13 May 2026, 22:33, archived)

night
mind the /links don't bite
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 13 May 2026, 23:04, archived)

My shiny metal ass

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 13 May 2026, 23:17, archived)

it's not that shiny

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 13 May 2026, 23:21, archived)

shinier than yours, meatbag

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 13 May 2026, 23:21, archived)

Shut up, baby, I know it

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Wed 13 May 2026, 23:25, archived)

Night

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Wed 13 May 2026, 23:23, archived)

Night night, one for each bollock

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 0:52, archived)

Unless you’re Hitler.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 14 May 2026, 6:29, archived)

ಠ▄ಠ

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 May 2026, 13:07, archived)

afternoon

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:23, archived)

oh god

( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:26, archived)

oh jesus christ

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:31, archived)

HAHAHAHAHA

( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:33, archived)

Fenton! FENTON!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 13 May 2026, 22:12, archived)

why tho

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:33, archived)

afterwhythoon

( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:34, archived)

people post this shit all the time vlad, trying to undermine my faith in mornings

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:38, archived)

I'm all out of faith, this is not the morn
my leg's wet I'm afraid, puddled warmth upon the floor
the am has now changed into something more
I'm half asleep and I can feel myself quite tired and worn
( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:49, archived)

You wait until you hear about evenings

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:50, archived)

I'm already in one, it's fucking mad

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:54, archived)

not here

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:46, archived)

All Guns N' Roses songs are about anal

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 13 May 2026, 16:43, archived)

Perfect Gentleman is definitely about
well now
( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 16:58, archived)

Mr Brownstone
Paradise Shitty
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 13 May 2026, 17:42, archived)

Welcome to the bumhole

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 13 May 2026, 19:18, archived)

Knockin' on heaven's back door

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 13 May 2026, 19:18, archived)

Get in the ring

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 13 May 2026, 19:19, archived)

Matt Sorebum

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 13 May 2026, 19:42, archived)

The lead singer, Alan Sex, has a name that's a devastatingly clever anagram of 'anal sex.'

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 13 May 2026, 18:03, archived)

I thought his name was Graham Butftucker.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2026, 18:23, archived)

Alan Yentob's name is an anagram of Ten Boy Anal, jussayin'

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 13 May 2026, 18:42, archived)

I never got guns and roses, by which I mean they were shite and I've never given them a penny. Sweet child of mine! Nonces

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2026, 19:31, archived)

Alex MURDER

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 13 May 2026, 18:57, archived)

Rocket Man is about anal sex, actually it probably really is

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 13 May 2026, 19:48, archived)

Tiny Bumhole

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 13 May 2026, 19:50, archived)

Not so tiny any more.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 13 May 2026, 20:11, archived)

Saturday Night’s Alright For Fisting

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 13 May 2026, 20:15, archived)

Crocolorectal Rock

( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 20:22, archived)

I'm still standing
Because I can't sit down, due to anal
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 13 May 2026, 20:27, archived)

Goodbye yellow prick chode
It's about his Chinese boyfriend

And anal
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 13 May 2026, 20:28, archived)

I remember making a "Goodbye, yellow prick chode" joke when Trump lost the 2020 election.
Needless to say, he had the last laugh.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 13 May 2026, 21:30, archived)

I just looked up the lyrics of Sharona by The Knack
it's all about kiddie fiddling.

Have you been surprised to read any song lyrics as an adult that you happily sang along with as a kid?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 13 May 2026, 10:56, archived)

just a product of the time

( $$ ✅, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:10, archived)

statue of limitations

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:24, archived)

Donna Summer'zzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:30, archived)

it's one of the reasons the writer doesn't license the songs for movies
he grew a conscience
(piss and shit, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:11, archived)

And a boner LOL!!!!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:39, archived)

Haha no way lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:42, archived)

that 'happy birthday' bollocks turned out to be shallow, no one gives a fuck

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:15, archived)

Like a Prayer is about blow jobs.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:24, archived)

WHAAAATTTTT!!!

( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:38, archived)

Mind - blown!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:39, archived)

mind knob
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:43, archived)

lolololololol OH YOU TWO YOUNG SCAMPS

( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:47, archived)

It's a subgenre known as stat-rock

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:27, archived)

Apparently YMCA isn't about the friendly camerarderie of youth hostelling

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:42, archived)

but Hotel California is actually about a hotel in California called Hotel California

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:48, archived)

i don't believe it

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:48, archived)

Victor picks up the phone. A happy American voice barks into his ear "YOUNG MAN!!" "YOUNG?!?!" yells Victor. "YOUNG?? HOW DARE Y-" Victor looks at the phone. It is a puppy
( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:55, archived)

+ A happy American puppy, who can talk.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:56, archived)

"WOOF WOOF WOOF" says the puppy
"What do you mean, woof woof woof," barks Victor. "you're supposed to be a phone"
"I mean," says the puppy, landing neatly on the floor and shaking itself from nose to tail in one tidy movement, "I mean, WOOF WOOF WOOF. And I note you're the one who's currently barking"
Victor turns puce
( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:59, archived)

FOUR TWO NINE ONE!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:01, archived)

Top YouTube comment on that clip:
Back when we had a sense of humour. Probably wouldn't be allowed these days, because of the woke community.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:05, archived)

I just burst out laughing aha oh god
( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:10, archived)

I'm angry, and here's my shoehorn

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:17, archived)

Brown Eyed Girl is about anal.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:03, archived)

Brown Girl in the Ring is about anal.

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:05, archived)

WHAT

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:07, archived)

, morning
( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:10, archived)

"Beat it" is about wanking

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:06, archived)

Eye of the Tiger is about anal. With a tiger.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:07, archived)

Up the junction is a song about sticking to anal as birth control

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:09, archived)

Ring of fire is about post anal

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:09, archived)

apparently, Angels is actually about

( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:11, archived)

Angels Beadle
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:13, archived)

lol

( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:14, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8474750
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:17, archived)

Please Mr Postman is about anal post

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:12, archived)

that's it that's the post that's done it, I'm gone
( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:14, archived)

Everybody hurts is about anal

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:14, archived)

Didn't We Almost Have It All by Whitney Houston is about that amount of crack she had

( $$ ✅, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:32, archived)

bum

( $$ ✅, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:33, archived)

Big Log by Robert Plant is about enhanced faecal girth
caused by anal
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:35, archived)

lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:25, archived)

You won't believe what Torn by Natalie Imbruglia is about

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:49, archived)

Exciting update from the in-laws in Brazil
Bunch of ne'er-do-wells drinking in the butecca had a set-to that escalated into a shooting free-for-all. A guy was shot 30 times in front of my mother-in-law's front door. She's staying with us in the UK but has helpfully been able to give the police CCTV footage remotely so they can see what happened.

Family over there often ask "when you coming to visit?"
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:51, archived)

Seems a waste of ammo to me. 2 pops and drop, next target

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:54, archived)

Update - the report was incorrect
the police found 30 used cases on the floor and the guy who had been shot was found wtih 8 bullets in him. Just goes to show how pissed they were.

More information incoming:
" he’s a lower grade crack seller on the corner near a boteco.... Probably a HR issue. He’s very low on the pecking order."
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:01, archived)

30 used cases? someone was packin!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:21, archived)

No, there was a whole bunch of them
My first question was "bunch of pissed up gang members or one gang member with an uzi?"

It was a buch of low-level gang members with shitty guns. Probably Tarus.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:26, archived)

They really need some gun training. That's just poor form .

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:43, archived)

Fancy putting a course proposal together?
could be lucrative...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:09, archived)

packin = carrying a gun, 30 used cases = suitcases: packing suitcases, it's a play on words garold

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:32, archived)

He was shot 30 times, hth

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:02, archived)

Also Bird Is The Word
is about the word anal
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 13 May 2026, 12:52, archived)

Everyone thinks Golden Brown is about heroin but it's actually about anal

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:18, archived)

"texture like bum"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:20, archived)

word of the day: sobriquet

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:25, archived)

it's just creamless icecream. Yuk.

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:27, archived)

yes so disappointing

( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:28, archived)

ooh nice

( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 13:28, archived)

What What, In The Butt is actually a condemnation of the Rwandan genocide

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:23, archived)

disgusting

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 14:34, archived)

2 become 1 is about docking

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 13 May 2026, 16:39, archived)

morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 13 May 2026, 6:30, archived)

GO FUCK YOURSELF

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 13 May 2026, 7:12, archived)

horrible

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Wed 13 May 2026, 7:13, archived)

Alright horbz

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 13 May 2026, 7:49, archived)

morning

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Wed 13 May 2026, 7:13, archived)

JIZZMASTER

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2026, 7:20, archived)

Just paid my respects to uncle ho chi Minh, I'm now having a McDonald's, then going to the Rolex store. He'd fucking of loved it

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2026, 7:33, archived)

i'll have a rolex m8

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 13 May 2026, 7:51, archived)

Best you put your name on a waiting list then . Gives you 5 years to save up

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2026, 8:40, archived)

fuck that i'll get an omega

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 13 May 2026, 8:55, archived)

well, another one

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 13 May 2026, 9:13, archived)

Did you go into the mausoleum?
Went past it but didn't go in, it was closed
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 13 May 2026, 10:14, archived)

Yeah after much hassle. Had to find a locker to put my bag in. Not worth it

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2026, 10:43, archived)

Cat sick surprise for me this morning!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 13 May 2026, 7:40, archived)

b3ta, you mean

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 13 May 2026, 7:44, archived)

Just realised I’d forgotten about Dre
Not sure how I can live with myself
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 13 May 2026, 8:53, archived)

morning, morning

( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 9:39, archived)

OH NO
*stuck in inescapable morningloop*
morning, morning, morning, morning
morning, morning, morning, morning
morning, mornHELPMEning, morning
morning, morning, morning, morning
morning, morning, morning, morning
( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 9:40, archived)

morning

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 13 May 2026, 9:54, archived)

morning
, morning
( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:38, archived)

oh shit :(

( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 11:38, archived)

Sorry I was too busy to reply

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 12 May 2026, 22:30, archived)

GOOD

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 22:55, archived)

I imagine you wearing a silk smoking jacket when you say this

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 13 May 2026, 1:17, archived)

just drawling out the comment between little inhalings from a multicoloured cigarette and small gasps which seem to be emerging from behind the chaise. Oh don't mind Jaun, says mr horrible. Don't mind him in the least
( vladimir, Wed 13 May 2026, 9:38, archived)

Hot today

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2026, 4:30, archived)

aw thanks

(piss and shit, Wed 13 May 2026, 8:18, archived)

Afternoon for PM!

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 12 May 2026, 13:14, archived)

hahahaha

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 13:23, archived)

MISERYCUNT 4 PM!!!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 12 May 2026, 13:42, archived)

no, see, that doesn't work

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:02, archived)

Nor does the current PM!
Haha! Satire!
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 12 May 2026, 18:22, archived)

lol

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 12 May 2026, 19:53, archived)

As your PM, my first piece of legislation is to ban the use of the word 'Hysteria' before 11am.

( Octo I ruin everything., Tue 12 May 2026, 14:06, archived)

But what if someone asks me what the best Def Leppard album is at 10:30am?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 14:49, archived)

Then mispronounce it, goddammit!

( Octo I ruin everything., Tue 12 May 2026, 15:04, archived)

what has Pyromania got to do with this?

(piss and shit, Tue 12 May 2026, 15:25, archived)

Tina Turnerzzzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 15:44, archived)

who needs a heart when a heart can be turned into a meaty crisp by a blowtorch

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 12 May 2026, 18:36, archived)

+r
of the word Karl
before 11am
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 12 May 2026, 16:05, archived)

My mother in law is staying at the moment and is recuperating from a shoulder injury
She managed a partial Nazi salute earlier, demonstrating that her physiotherapy is working a treat, but that she's in danger of turning a bit fascist in her gestures.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 12 May 2026, 14:15, archived)

Get her a b3ta login, she'll fit right in on /links.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 14:48, archived)

Does she think the salute will heil her?

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:54, archived)

Is it necrotizing fascist-itis?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 12 May 2026, 18:26, archived)

👏

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 21:01, archived)

🫷

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 13 May 2026, 18:11, archived)

Enjoy your afternoon pissing yourself

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 12 May 2026, 16:06, archived)

help help cannot stop laughing at this combination of words

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 16:11, archived)

oh christ I'm overtired again aren't I
well that's just marvellous isn't it absolutely fucking marvellous
( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 16:12, archived)

PYL?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 12 May 2026, 16:48, archived)

lol quite

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:25, archived)

Gonnie Tyler

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 12 May 2026, 16:07, archived)

Salt-N-Peepa

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 12 May 2026, 16:58, archived)

Wazoo

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:01, archived)

The Slash

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:01, archived)

Midge Urine

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:03, archived)

very difficult to detect

(piss and shit, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:13, archived)

lol

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:28, archived)

Dancing with Piss in My Eyes

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:42, archived)

oh god fuck that song, FUCK it 😭

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 21:02, archived)

Piss Kross

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:03, archived)

alright Andres Serrano

(piss and shit, Tue 12 May 2026, 20:10, archived)

Pee-pee Peniston

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:04, archived)

lol penis

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:04, archived)

Leaking Heads

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:28, archived)

lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 12 May 2026, 18:36, archived)

honestly I also lol'd. bad form I know but in my defence, it is very very good

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 21:04, archived)

Bette Widler

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:34, archived)

Mr. Pisster

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:45, archived)

Piss de Burgh

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:47, archived)

Pissie Hynde

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 12 May 2026, 22:28, archived)

Evening
I have to be in work tomorrow, but I still feel like hammered shit.
( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Tue 12 May 2026, 18:15, archived)

or 'findus crispy pancakes' as they are known
weird craving but not unheard of
(piss and shit, Tue 12 May 2026, 18:49, archived)

Shove it up your ringpiece, MiseryCunt

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 12 May 2026, 9:59, archived)

YEAH

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 12 May 2026, 10:04, archived)

heroes in a half shell, turtle power

(piss and shit, Tue 12 May 2026, 10:06, archived)

You get these wine people, don't you?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 12 May 2026, 10:06, archived)

ah yeah can i have a glass
nm, got one
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 12 May 2026, 10:08, archived)

+ then let it dribble down your leg

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 10:06, archived)

A couple of years ago I was sat outside my local and on the next bench there were some lads in their mid twenties
and they were talking about someone they saw at a festival who had stolen some nitrous oxide cannisters from and was handing them out to other festival goers, "like robin hood but for nox" one of them said and they all laughed.

I had to interject "sorry but surely you can't miss the pun Robin of noxley" they looked at me confused, but then one of them said "oh yeah, I get it that is quite good".
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2026, 10:20, archived)

Was it the same beer garden as The Mongdaddy?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 12 May 2026, 10:25, archived)

Sheriff of Noxingham

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 10:35, archived)

also
"like robin hood but for nox" one of them said
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 10:43, archived)

lol

(piss and shit, Tue 12 May 2026, 11:28, archived)

lashing on leg

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 12 May 2026, 11:52, archived)

I still don't get this

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2026, 13:28, archived)

laughing gas

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 12 May 2026, 13:41, archived)

Now I know how them lads felt.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2026, 14:00, archived)

needless to say, they had the last laugh

(piss and shit, Tue 12 May 2026, 15:31, archived)

... well, they're not laughing now!
Because it's run out.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 15:56, archived)

Yeah skipping the pub specials today
ibb.co/3yV78czw
( mongychops, Tue 12 May 2026, 10:51, archived)

Tang so lon sounds good
Google says " tang so lon" most likely refers to Cháo Lòng (Vietnamese pork offal porridge)
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 12 May 2026, 12:29, archived)

Yes — it’s Vietnamese. “Top Bán Chạy” means roughly “Best Sellers” or “Top-Selling Dishes.”

Some of these are quite local/traditional dishes, so the translations are approximate:

Lòng xào dưa — Stir-fried pork intestines with pickled mustard greens
Top mỡ sốt cà chua — Crispy pork fat cracklings in tomato sauce
Tai heo bóp chanh — Pig’s ear salad with lime/lemon dressing
Tầng sọ lợn — Pig brain / pork skull meat dish (a bit unclear, but definitely pork-head related)
Hoa lý xào thịt bò — Stir-fried daylily flowers with beef
Chim câu xào cà — Stir-fried pigeon with aubergine/eggplant
Cơm cháy kho quẹt — Crispy scorched rice with caramelised dipping sauce
Bê cuốn cải — Veal wrapped in mustard greens
Nầm cháy tiêu xanh — Grilled/fried beef udder with green peppercorn sauce
So yes… this is very much a “proper local Vietnamese” menu rather than tourist pizza-and-burgers territory.
( mongychops, Tue 12 May 2026, 13:58, archived)

That's pretty hardcore eh
I'd give the beef, the veal and the pigeon a go, and maybe the pig's ear salad and the cracklings
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 12 May 2026, 14:11, archived)

I'm rubbish at making salad, I tried once BUT I MADE A RIGHT PIG'S EAR OF IT!!!!!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 14:14, archived)

i like dis

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 14 May 2026, 10:11, archived)

Lad in my late night cocktail place says dog is delicious. Nah mate

( mongychops, Tue 12 May 2026, 14:15, archived)

Not sure I'd try it
Probably would though I think.

Balut is a definite no. Also that French ortalan dish where they're drowned in cognac. I think that's illegal now anyway
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 12 May 2026, 16:11, archived)

My friend tonight got the veal. It's not cooked

( mongychops, Tue 12 May 2026, 14:17, archived)

what's why they wrap it up in the mustard greens

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 12 May 2026, 20:23, archived)

I took a handy picture of a menu 20 years ago, it might help to translate
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/99401/1655822374/menu.jpg
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 12:47, archived)

I'll have the... beer

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 12 May 2026, 13:42, archived)

They eat anything apart from the good bits.

( mongychops, Tue 12 May 2026, 14:23, archived)

finally got round to clicking this link, 10/10 wasn't disappointed

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 17:31, archived)

It just splashed up, i know people say that but it's actually true.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 12 May 2026, 12:31, archived)

good morning internet fellows

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 12 May 2026, 6:50, archived)

that it be

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 12 May 2026, 6:51, archived)

Morning morning morning.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 12 May 2026, 6:56, archived)

morning
I'm not going to bother linking to my Keir FORMER/SUB-PRIME Minister post yet, he's going to style it out for a bit longer
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 6:58, archived)

Can't wait for Wes Streeting as PM!!!

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 12 May 2026, 7:01, archived)

Andy 50pHam

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 8:17, archived)

Ed Milib&

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 12 May 2026, 8:20, archived)

Only the ghost of John Prescott and his Jaguar Wife can save us

( Octo I ruin everything., Tue 12 May 2026, 9:09, archived)

Genuinely forgot he'd died when I read this earlier and went all sad
( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 16:15, archived)

global.discourse-cdn.com/boingboing/original/3X/0/c/0c57bf40e01a47b0eeed294e548c0b8e8a04ffca.gif
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 8:20, archived)

morning
Ready for another day of the utmost serious internet
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 12 May 2026, 7:39, archived)

willies

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 12 May 2026, 7:43, archived)

sometimes I doubt your commitment to /chat

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 12 May 2026, 7:47, archived)

How dare you, you massive willy?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 12 May 2026, 8:18, archived)

WILLIES!!!!

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 12 May 2026, 8:28, archived)

Starting a gaz petition to get you b&.

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 12 May 2026, 7:50, archived)

I’ll wait for my gaz then, you should probably start with me.
No-one ever gazzes me, I just assume everyone else is at it all the time, talking shit about me behind my back.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 12 May 2026, 8:19, archived)

NEW IMAGE CHALLENGE: CHANGE A LETTER BAND NAMES

Wee Leg

THIS CHALLENGE IS NOW CLOSED
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 8:21, archived)

Willy Idol

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 12 May 2026, 8:36, archived)

Public Enema

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 12 May 2026, 9:04, archived)

Pubic Enemy

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 12 May 2026, 9:04, archived)

Gums & Roses

( Octo I ruin everything., Tue 12 May 2026, 9:09, archived)

Poo Fighters

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Tue 12 May 2026, 9:20, archived)

Pissy Elliot

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 9:58, archived)

Weengs

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 13:23, archived)

Spilt Enz

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 13:24, archived)

Wee Papa Girl Jappers

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 15:57, archived)

It was lovely to wake up to learn Millwall had lost

( mongychops, Tue 12 May 2026, 8:21, archived)

What joy and delight!
I can hear the fuckers from our house. It's always wonderful when I hear they've lost. Cunts.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 12 May 2026, 8:56, archived)

Bladder seal broken, like the first bladder
Dual streams are flowing, one down my leg
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 12 May 2026, 8:27, archived)

Good morning fellow netizen

( $$ ✅, Tue 12 May 2026, 9:52, archived)

mornjng

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 12 May 2026, 0:00, archived)

piss off

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 12 May 2026, 0:06, archived)

22 positions in a one nite stand

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 12 May 2026, 0:24, archived)

or was it 23, i dont remember

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 12 May 2026, 0:24, archived)

lollll

( vladimir, Tue 12 May 2026, 0:07, archived)

morning

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 12 May 2026, 6:50, archived)

evening

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Mon 11 May 2026, 19:09, archived)

I prefer the pissy thread below this one.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 11 May 2026, 19:22, archived)

Urine trouble m8

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Mon 11 May 2026, 19:28, archived)

Varied loo position
To stop weeing down my leg
Varied loo position
Bladder's 'bout to fail
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 May 2026, 22:33, archived)

If pissy jeans are not your love
Suggest you sit down when you go number one
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 May 2026, 22:49, archived)

Like a girl over toilet water
I wee sitting down
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 May 2026, 22:52, archived)

I've pissed in these same jeans for four days now
I've gotta try not to piss myself in the middle of the town
Everybody's standing up, I wee sitting down
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 May 2026, 22:59, archived)

It's easy to pee, it's easy to pee
And see yellow stains running down my knee
It's nasty to feel, it's nasty to feel
And that's bad enough, without the pissy smell

Oh, please sit down to wee
And then we can stop the trouser spray
Oh, please sit down to wee
And then we can stop the trouser spray
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 May 2026, 23:07, archived)

Every night I hope and pray, peed trousers won't come my way

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 May 2026, 23:16, archived)

You Make Me Wee Like A Natural Woman (by Urethra Franklin)

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 May 2026, 23:24, archived)

Mamma mia, here I go again
Why why do I always seem to miss the loo?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My, my, trousers are all pissed through
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 May 2026, 23:35, archived)

It was a beautiful day, my flies were down
I had my penus out, I was peein'
The wee felt fine, my stream was flowing
Little known to me, I was sprayin'

Yeah, runnin' down my jeans
Trousers gettin' covered in pee
Smelling like a piss pourri
Dripping all over my knee
Runnin' down my jeans
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 May 2026, 23:58, archived)

Dozer beakering is expected.

( mongychops, Mon 11 May 2026, 19:30, archived)

nothing compares, nothing compares to u
rine
( vladimir, Mon 11 May 2026, 19:58, archived)

sexual peeing

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 11 May 2026, 21:20, archived)

wee may be the stuff I can't forget
the trace of pleasure or regret
may be my treasure or the price
I have to pay
wee may be the song that summer sings
may be the chill that autumn brings
may be a hundred different things
within the measure of a day
( vladimir, Mon 11 May 2026, 22:09, archived)

Don't let my bum sit down on wee

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 May 2026, 22:22, archived)

\o/

( vladimir, Mon 11 May 2026, 22:28, archived)

Leggy poo, leggy poo
Shitty shitty shitty shitty leggy poo
Oh leggy, my leggy poo
Oh well I loosed my bowels, yes, I did a leggy poo
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 11 May 2026, 22:42, archived)