I just saw the "Ginger Fuhrer"
or at least, a very convincing lookalike.
( dr_fonz, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

*replies to post so you don't feel like a complete inadequate*

*witty build-up*

*punchline*
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:50, archived)

unless you've been in kentish town
and seen me with a pram and my missus going to get our child weighed, then you haven't
( rob, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 16:20, archived)

oh, for fucks sake
fucking cunts

bigotted shitwanks warning: link to BNP site
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:19, archived)

Yeah cos im going to click on a bnp link at work
Dont disguise a link like that you WANKER
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:22, archived)

It's hardly disguised

( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:23, archived)

Err yes it is

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

Which of the words 'bigotted shitwanks'
gave you the impression it linked to ratemykitten?
edit: or the fact that the url it links to shows up in the status bar, for that matter.
( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

fuck you
it wasn't intentionally diguised

The gist is: The bnp have been saying this has been inevitable cos of all the darkies etc.

sorry for not mentioning wogs
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

Excuse me?
What is your problem?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:26, archived)

er...
www.b3ta.com/talk/624544
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:28, archived)

You should have linked it clearly as what it was
I believe Mr Catfish agrees with me on this
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:30, archived)

It's not as if it's necroporn or something,

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:31, archived)

done
was not trying to offend
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:32, archived)

Much appreciated

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:33, archived)

Correct
At work we have internet logs stored on the server and, more often than not, IT Managers who check these logs.

Having a BNP website show up on my internet history would not go down too well with the powers-that-be.

They pay my wages.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:33, archived)

Maybe the fact that you responded aggressively to him and called him a wanker
for nothing more than linking to a page he thought was notable, but you don't happen to like.
( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

Interesting that i complain and your 'bash mykey' hat gets put on
but Johnny Catfish says the same and you dont say a thing... odd that
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:31, archived)

Maybe because he said it politely
and didn't pretend there was some deliberate 'disguising' going on
( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:34, archived)

Oh my
Now we've got to always be polite have we?

Tell me, just when will you be satisfied?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

Why not?
If someone's not being deliberately rude to you, there's no reason to call them a wanker.
( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:40, archived)

Wanker!


/Predictable
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

For what it's worth
you're right, that sort of thing probably should have a nsfw warning, if not for the usual reasons.
( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

*sticks out tongue*
*adopts smug look*

/nothing changes
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

Calm down dear
Catfish didn't shout at someone calling them a wanker, to be fair.
( Dekazer, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:35, archived)

You BASTARD!
YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

It is sfw
Basically a short press release saying that they have been warning us about so called "asylum seekers" and darkies, and now they have been proved right.

Same old, same old.
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

All the same i think i wont visit the bnp's website at work:)

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:26, archived)

And at home?

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

Was you thinking that maybe
the biggoted shitwanks webpage was more to works liking?
( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

Thats
a bit harsh mate!
( D3xt3r Don't take any guff from these fucking swine...., Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

Mykeyboy desperate not to look racist SHOCK!
Pffft!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:28, archived)

Any chance you could mirror that site?
Don't really want it in my browser history at work. :(
Or am I just being over-sensitive?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:23, archived)

can't 'm 'fraid
general gist is BNP are racists, and have blamed the explosions on immigration, and they predicted that would happen

cunts
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

I won't click on a BNP link, thank you very much
They'll see the increased website traffic and think they've stirred up some more grassroots support for their cancerous cause.

Edit: Mykey's right - links to sites like the BNP, Bomb-making for Terrorists and Cat Porn need a little warning.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:23, archived)

This is a sensible reason not to click it.
We can all guess what it says.
( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

in reply to the edit
Yep, you're right,

ammended
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:30, archived)

Thanks a lot.

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:35, archived)

why were you reading the bnp website in the first place?

( mrlogic is copying your beard, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

To see what the enemy are up to.
I read it occasionally to see what poisonous bile they're spouting.
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

i was interested in how long it
would take for them to come up with some really horrible propaganda out of this...

not very long

/not racist in the slightest, but nearly lost my mum at Kings Cross, and my Gilrfriend at Liverpool st.
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

jeez
typical, the one day my mam comes down here from newcastle is the day london gets blown to fuck
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:32, archived)

are you my brother?
that's where she's come from too..
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

Careless.
I lost my mum in hospital, once, after getting in to the wrong lift. Quite scary when you're only a toddler.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:33, archived)

and in my clicking frenzy
hopping between news channels I just clicked on your link.
thank you so much
(lemonymillenniumbaboon, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

you could've clicked something far worse,
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:30, archived)

it's like fat girls and feeders
but with cats!
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

anybody listening to ITV medical reporter
unintentionally hilarious echo going on...
(trumpet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:18, archived)

why yes,
yes I am!

This report is brought to you by King Tubby, the dub organiser..
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:21, archived)

hahahaha
quite - it sounded like vintage Orb material there...
(trumpet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:22, archived)

BWAHAHAHA
His little black raisin eyes and grizzly beard make it even more horiffic.
( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:21, archived)

George Galloway sounding a bit too smug:
blogs.guardian.co.uk/news/
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

I bet it was him,
wearing a pair of saddam support knickers at the time
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

Oh dear.
He is, of course, right, but he should have waited a bit to say so.
( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

He also sounds
a bit of a pussy, if his argument is "don't do that, you'll only make them cross".
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:26, archived)

I fucking hate George Galloway.
If it was 1939, would he say "Oh don't make a fuss, they'll only get nasty!"?
Wanker. The way to deal with terrorists is NOT to give in to their demands, EVER.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:36, archived)

As I've said elsewhere,
that wasn't the reason (for me at least) to be opposed to the war in the first place, but it is part of the mess we've made.
Iraq had nothing to do with terrorism when we went in, now it has everything.
I heard some right-wing tosser say "that's it, we've created a front to fight them on," which is all very clever if you don't live there
( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

oooh dear
yes George, I'm sure all the families want to hear 'I told you so' 5 hours after it fucking happened.
(lemonymillenniumbaboon, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

I'm back from town and can report that the climate of fear
has failed to affect Birmingham in any major way. Trains are mostly running (everywhere except Euston, Watford and Aberystwyth), busty lovelies still walk our streets and the elderly continue to get in the cunting way everywhere I try to go. There are however a few policemen and community support officers pulling buses over and searching them on Corporation Street.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

my spies in the birmingham
tell me that new street was full of the police this morning
- happily no Sting... ;p
(lemonymillenniumbaboon, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:19, archived)

It still is
I've just come back from the Law Courts. There's police everwhere, they're stopping everything but taxi's and buses entering the main city centre and they've been getting on buses as they enter.
(previously on the west wing, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:54, archived)

NEWS FLASH
Wesley the cat does not seem to be disturbed by today's troubles. The dog has fallen asleep.
( MrA, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

london is weird
just been down to the chippy to get lunch and the whole place appears as if nothing ever happened. people wander about with blank expressionless faces. businessmen crudely punch old ladies when they get in their way. old ladies whack tramps with their walking sticks. tramps beg for the spare change that nobody has. One woman even came into the chippy while I was waiting and looked confused when someone asked her what she thought of the morning's events! This is Britain at its best. Wartime spirit was bollocks, people just don't care. That's all. We've been getting bombed to fuck for years by the IRA and that never stopped us being the best goddamned country in the world ([begin rant] yes, the world you yank mothers, your country is 'big', that's not 'great', just big. And your all gay too [end rand].)

So yeah, that's what I think.
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:23, archived)

I really hope that every household in the uk
resist any urge to fly the Union Jack outside their homes in the light of these attacks.
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

For no particular reason
I have a mini-USA flag on my PC tower.

Not sure where my British flag is right now.
(R-T-C Got arbitrage profits?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

half mast
mark of respect, innit?
(Brad Dice, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

mark of respect brewer's droop
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

I don`t think you`re allowed to actually.. isn`t it deemed racist or something?

( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

is a St. George's cross worse
or betterer?
(lemonymillenniumbaboon, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:15, archived)

yeah you are
just that some people incorrectly get pissy. And fucking yobs and the BNP have adopted our flags as symbols of their movement. wankers.
( MrA, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:18, archived)

There's plenty round this way,
that fly the Union Jack all the time. That said, there's one house that flies the South African flag, instead.

Heh! Just remembered the last World Cup, where I got verbally abused in the street because my t-shirt had "ITALIA" written across it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

I'm not quite sure
I understand why you say that. The union flag strikes me as one of the more inclusive, and if they'd been flying in celebration of the successful Olympic bid would you have been so upset?
( Dekazer, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:15, archived)

I was simply referring to the the
frenzied flag waving that took place in the states post 9/11.

*invests in a flag making company*
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

I understand
why people might want to do it - I don't understand why you don't want them to do so.
( Dekazer, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:19, archived)

As mentioned above,
the BNP (and other, similar, groups) have adopted it as their own symbol, so (rightly or wrongly) you run the risk of looking like a racist moron. Tragic, really.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:21, archived)

I don't think you do
Particularly the union flag - and since various big sporting successes I think some of that stigma has gone.

We should be reclaiming it - we deserve to have the same pride as the Scots and the Welsh and the Irish have. We have no more to be ashamed of and no less to be proud of :)
( Dekazer, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

Yes, I agree,
but British nationalism is always being hijacked by extremists.
Anyway, I quite enjoy the other, British custom of being overly cynical and thinking that everything is shit. :¬)
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:30, archived)

why not fly the english flag?
It avoids the BNP shite, and you neatly avoid imperialistic abuses as well as having pride in the country that is england (which usually does tremendously well at sport anyway).
( WhoElse I'm what Willis was talking about, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:45, archived)

because it's fucking pointless

(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

In times
of success and of hardship people want to feel part of a community. That Blitz spirit. Flag flying is one way people have of showing support and solidarity.

If you don't want to, don't do it.
( Dekazer, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

At the other end of the spectrum,
who fancies a t-shirt, emblazoned with "My Mum went to New York London, and all I got was this bloody t-shirt"?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:19, archived)

ooh
harsh


hehe
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

A bottle of tippex and a black marker,
and I'll be a rich man.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:40, archived)

Erm
what would be wrong with flying the national flag?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

A lot of you here
have been on b3ta ages and ages, has there ever been anyone join and not fit in so much they were bullied/ignored until they cried and left?
( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

Yes, plenty of them
but not so much now. We used to be quite cliquey.
( King Ralph is drunk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

oh god yes
who was the Buffy obsessed boy that pretended to be this dreadful chav girl... literally burned up in the flame I think
(lemonymillenniumbaboon, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

TONAY!

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:16, archived)

Oh thanks for the
tip to stay off the main page earlier, much appreciated :)
( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

Ha ha! I was so glad to have been a part of that.
I got applause for my flaming.
*beams with pride*
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:18, archived)

(first time for everything)
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:13, archived)

I post anyway

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

Only you.
www.b3ta.com/talk/624005
( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

*sucks thumb*

*awaits strikethrough gags*
( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:18, archived)

awaits strikethrough gags sodomises guinnea-pig
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:19, archived)

yes
and it`s happened a bit too often.. but seems to have settled down a bit
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

Piss off, newbie
/obvious

Yes, I think there have.
edit: it's not particularly nice. Most people who "don't fit in" (if any of us do) will get bored and go away pretty quickly of their own accord.
( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:15, archived)

If people
genuinely enjoy being here they tend to brazen out any abuse and generally contribute fine :)
( Dekazer, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

Yes a lot of
people on here do tend to enjoy abuse.
( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

FUckzilla!
I know I do!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

Goldenballs might be my favourite,
lasting a whole 2 posts, I think.

And then there was Jeff, but he was in a class of his own.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:16, archived)

I can't believe someone remembers Jeff.
What a cunt
( Koogas, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:22, archived)

Everyone remembers Jeff!
What a legend...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

why
why was he?
( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:26, archived)

He was a troll, if I recall.
You would fit in a different category I believe...
( Koogas, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

And,
an insult in his own right!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

Yes.
Several in my experience - and I've only been on /talk for a month or two.

It's not nice to watch and the best course of action is to give newbies the benefit of the doubt and let them find their own voice and opinions.

/may be talking bollocks
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:16, archived)

Cunt off,
hippy-twat-monger.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

Has anyone else heard the rumours
coming out of Canary Wharf about a suicide bomber(s) being shot?
( OldWhit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:08, archived)

well
they got what they wanted without taking out other people.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:10, archived)

rumours were flying about earlier
about this + bomb in bank elsewhere, but nothing fresh - suspect them to be bollocks. Time will tell, tho
(trumpet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

Just rumour

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

Hello
american dad

hehehe
( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

Yes.
Apparently its bollocks.
Although my sources tell me that the island is currently locked down, and that there are police boats patrolling up and down the river there...

/blog
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

Yes.
But try not to spread the rumour until it's been confirmed by the propaganda feeds government.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

Heard it...
But unlikely to be true.

All the attacks were co-ordinated to occour at the same time, and it is unlikely that an armed response team would have been on scene at the right time to intercept a bomber.
(R-T-C Got arbitrage profits?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

That's what I thought
Plus I've yet to hear from anyone who actually saw it happen. . .
( OldWhit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:15, archived)

I have already had 2 packets of
cheese and onion crisps, but want a third, should I have another?

All responses must be yes
( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

No.

( King Ralph is drunk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:03, archived)

Yes

( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:03, archived)

Thank you
I did
( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

You're Cheggers
so of course. And some gerkins and coal too?
( D3xt3r Don't take any guff from these fucking swine...., Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

No

not had any cravings with this one :(

was so looking forward to kicking my hubby out of bed to look for a shop that's still open at 3am for some odd combination of food

with my first I craved meat, tons of meat, I have fond memories of sitting in the cinema watching Notting Hill with a packet of Tesco Value Chicken Roll to munch my way through

/smiles
( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

Maybe.......

( D3xt3r Don't take any guff from these fucking swine...., Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:04, archived)

Definitely not
Salt and vinegar is and remains the Daddy.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:04, archived)

you should tell him to wash his cock

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:07, archived)

I don't talk
with my mouth full.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

switch flavour
they smell like sweaty feet.
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:04, archived)

GO AND DRINK GIN

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

*sighs*
( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:06, archived)

Replies with lots of spaces in
Are really annoying
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:10, archived)

what spaces?

( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:15, archived)

No
Have something more interesting. And that won't make you smell so bad ;P
( Dekazer, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

Cats.

( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

Yes.
Cheese and onion am teh bestest,
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

Yes - do it
In the meantime, a colleague just sent me this:

Doc - "Hello, how can I help you?"

Man - "I've got an orange cock!"

Doc - "What?"

Man - "My cock - it's turned orange."

Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up. Ah, it seems it could be a sign of stress; do you suffer from stress?"

Man - "Not really"

Doc - "What about stress at work?"

Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, I worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack"

Doc - "That sounds very stressful."

Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great, half the hours, 3 times the salary and I feel really appreciated"

Doc - "Hmm, what about your home life?"

Man - "Well, my girlfriend was a complete cunt, she nagged non-stop and put me down every chance she got."

Doc - "That sounds stressful"

Man - "Yeah, but I left her and I've never been happier."

Doc - "I see, what about your social life?"

Man - "Social life? I don't really have one."

Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"

Man - "Watch porn and eat Wotsits."
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:06, archived)

hahaha

( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:07, archived)

Ha ha ha
Ha ha ha
( King Ralph is drunk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:07, archived)

The old ones
are still the oldest
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:08, archived)

lol!!!11
oH mygoD!!11

Th@ts s00000000ooo funny :):)
( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:08, archived)

nah
have some smokey bacon
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

Try a Vanilla Custard Muller Rice
and a Chocolate Fudge Frijj.

And some crisps.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:13, archived)

Just to ease the mood a little...
Here's a headline we've been waiting for, for years...:

www.imdb.com/news/sb/2005-07-06/#2
(R-T-C Got arbitrage profits?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

"entire royal family killed in london bombings"?

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

what, nah its not them who would suffer or the politicians but the rest of us poor bastards can be blown to buggery but not them as they is important..
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:00, archived)

I bloody wish
Why couldn't they have bombed Gleneagles and got rid of the actual warmongering cunts rather than people who are actually, given the circumstances, pretty harmless?
(Withiel assumes the position!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:00, archived)

because murder is wrong?


/Old fashioned
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:02, archived)

ppft
Well, yes, but given the choice, I know which one I'd go for...
(Withiel assumes the position!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:04, archived)

"cake bombs smother thousands in tasty marzipan and jammy sponge"?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

yay!
someone hack into the bbc website and put it up
(sticks Errol flynn in female form, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

Yeah,
someone round here must know how to spike the mainframe and upload trojan patches...
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

Sounds like a compo theme...

( King Ralph is drunk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:59, archived)

More to the point when is the next episode of american dad and family guy out?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:00, archived)

Dunno about FG
But American Dad is finished for now. They only made 8 episodes. However, more are now being made.

I'm stuck on a dialer, so havn't been keeping up of late.
(R-T-C Got arbitrage profits?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

I think you
look like american dad
( diffy maybs, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:03, archived)

yet another british original story
breaking records bespite being ruined by Hollywood
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

"In the name of God, the merciful, the compassionate....
....we come to murder people at random"

Amen.

The quicker all religion is banned the quicker we will see heaven on Earth.

If you see a Bible, burn it.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:50, archived)

Why would I want to sodomise a book?
Ohh... buRn.
( King Ralph is drunk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:53, archived)

the papercuts put most off

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:59, archived)

If i had size 2,000,000 font
i would enable it, and then type "this".
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:53, archived)

My pagan overlord demands a blood sacrifice,
and has chosen you. Kneel down for a moment, will you?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:54, archived)

Sounds more like a bumming

( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

And while oyu are down there
*unzips*
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

Let's kill all the theologists!
And the meta-physicians whilst we're at it!
In the name of Paradise we must suicide bomb them!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:55, archived)

this
(but don't ban jedis)
( the wub - guide onion for the blind, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

News just in: mediaeval-minded Islamo-Nazis to blame after all...
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4660391.stm
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

I wouldnt say Nazi
At least the nazis were methodical

eins, zwei, eins zwei....and so on
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:50, archived)

Links, Links, Links, Rechts, Links
/Mengele
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

Haha!
I wish he'd been my doctor. We'd have had such fun...
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

Is b3ta slowing down?
That link's 2 hours old!

Anyway, I'm too busy being a Zionist Crusader to worry about such trifles...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:50, archived)

Didnt the Zionists
fight the Transformers ? Or was it the Thundercats ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

Samurai Pizza Cats.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:53, archived)

Good god,
now that was a shite cartoon.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:54, archived)

Weren't they a poor rip-off
of the woeful Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

Probably.
And a harbinger of things to come (Pokemon, Dragonball Z and what have you).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:00, archived)

fools
it was a satire for the bright kids
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

I say we organise a trip, perhaps we could call it a crusade
To the holy land.... maybe drink in a mosque and happy slap a few burka clad wimmin.... a proper exchange of culture...
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

Big bomb
made of spam

Blow them up with it.

In teh face!!!!!!!!!!!
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:54, archived)

"Britain is now burning with fear, terror and panic"
They really need to look at the messageboard.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:50, archived)

And at every square mile of land
more than 10 miles from the centre of London
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

I just spoke to a friend of mine who works in the City
and he was eating a sausage sandwich in a park.

(mind you ... he is welsh)
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

indeed.
my colleagues have decided to go for a drink in a bar called "hakuna matata".

how apt.
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

are
we and there was I just scratching my bum.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:53, archived)

ho hum
the worst thing that`s happened is that London-bound trains have been stopped at Reading

.. that`s a fate worse than death
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

Bloody out-of-towners...
Coming here, drinking coffee in our Starbucks and Puccino's, browsing the shops in the Oracle mega-super-mall and maybe having a stroll 'round Forbury Gardens...
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:55, archived)

but but but
they might buy my boots, NO! Get them out get them out!
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:02, archived)

haha
and then eating their crappy Nando`s chicken beside the river
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:02, archived)

i don't know about anyone else
but we in the northern quarter think that mr allah can fuck right off.
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

Oi
That comes across as a bit of an unnecessary generalisation.
( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

ok ok.
i take it back. a bit.
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

agreed
god is shit
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:53, archived)

Who else
What is scary is that some people support these bombers.

Like all those protesters in Edinburgh on Saturday carrying Palestinian flags. Because we'd much rather live in a dictatorship with no elections and a society where women are repressed, than in a democracy.

These terrorists are just like the anarchists, they believe that by breaking stuff, they can affect change.
(R-T-C Got arbitrage profits?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

you have bafflingly strong opinions
based on a bafflingly weak grasp of current affairs

are you a politics student by any chance?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

Sorry, I was just summarising.

If you listen to these protesters for more than a few moments then you see the huge contradictions.

These same people demand civil liberties, but then support oppressive regiemes such as North Korea, Communist China and Cuba.

They preach anti-capitalist slogans, then demand that America increases its aid abroad.
(R-T-C Got arbitrage profits?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:06, archived)

Does being for the idea of a Palestinian state
equal being against democracy?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

Up to a point...
It's pretty difficult to have a democracy when offically your country doesn't even exist. And the main problem facing Palestinians is trying not to get shot or have their houses bulldozed on a day-to-day basis.
The Israelis, being under the protective wing on America, have the luxury of being a progressive, liberal (if you're Israeli!) democracy.

The Palestinian cause really is something worth supporting, whatever you think about Iraq, Afghanistan etc.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

There could be a huge flame war about this
but Palestine is a trendy left-wing pet project made of a very complicated, intractable problem. Tibet's maybe a more clear-cut case.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:02, archived)

I agree the Palestinian problem is complicated,
but I fail to see how any reasonably well-informed person, who is not him/herself a shameless Zionist, could not support Palestinian claims to independence, or at the very least the righ to not be treated like dogshit by the Israelis.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

It's also hard to see why
the Israelis would possibly want to co-operate, given that every single one of the neighbouring countries has sworn to destroy them and are quite happy to use Palestine as a springboard to do so.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:21, archived)

Well, look at it this way...
Palestine has existed for hundreds of years, yet had progressed little.

Israel has existed for 50 years, and despite frequent wars and continual terrorist attacks, has democracy, equality and large cities.

Sure, Israel is backed by the USA, but Palestine is backed by Egypt, Lebanon etc. both of whom have attempted to invade Israel in the past 50 years.
(R-T-C Got arbitrage profits?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

OR, look at it this way...
Palestine had existed for hundreds of years, America turns up after WW2 and says "We'll have this country, thankyou", allows thousands of Jews whose ancestors hadn't lived in the region for 1,800 years to pour in, displacing an entire nation. Who now live in either refugee camps, or in impoverished towns that are constantly under fire from one of the most modern, well-equiped armies in the world.

We have cities, equality, democracy etc - does that give us the right to invade, oh, I don't know, Iraq? Try telling a Palestinian living in Israel they have 'equality'!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:16, archived)

effect

( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:21, archived)

British TV at it's best (and live broadcast stretched to it's limits)
BBC2 - Live coverage of men in funny outfits chasing little balls around a field
C4 - Live coverage of men in funny outfits riding horses round a field.
BBC1 - Men and women in various (some of them fantasy) outfits not wanting to be the first to say the big bang was a bomb or that a man in a funny tea-towel outfit caused it.
ITV - Men and women dressed identically to BBC1 making wild extravagent claims then pretending they never said them when the facts emerge.
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

its
/soothing sensation of pedantry
( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:50, archived)

In an uncertain world...

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

I bet he's popular at parties

( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

You forgot channel 5

( Beastie is doing science with his arse, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

We all did
until you came and raked it up. Cunt.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

channel 5 doesn't count
its not a real tv channel
( MrA, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:59, archived)

Southampton TV?
That's a classy station... They show 'The Adventures of Stephen Brown' and everything...
( Beastie is doing science with his arse, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

OMG !!!!! WTF!!!!!
If you type "Horses Cock" in Word and convert it to webdings, you get a Boat, a house, a question mark, a "package" another question mark, some boxes a boat and a helicopter.

Proof that Nostradamus sucked your mums tits !
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

my mums tits predicted nostradamus wanking on Osamas best hat

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:48, archived)

he
has a best hat?
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:50, archived)

I love you.
Will you marry me?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:49, archived)

as always
the quality of repartee on b3ta is extremely high.

Oscar Wilde would be proud...
(sticks Errol flynn in female form, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

I was due to watch...
QOTSA tonight. Twice! Now i just feel sick of the thought of going out.
(farmer, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

why,
dodgy curry?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:39, archived)

I'd still go watch
but then again I seem to be a heartless bastard
EDIT: your stepping over the line story is far to classy for words
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:39, archived)

if they are in London they will not be performing

( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:40, archived)

lack of erection?

( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

You smell of shitty arsecunts, and are old and rubbish.

( Comma, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:45, archived)

you say that like it`s a bad thing

( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:48, archived)

bah
true
my brain has melted and is running out my nose
EDIT:And he said he would not be going as he felt sick
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

Queer Orangs Toss-off South Africans ?
The filth they put on Channel 4 these days.

No wonder the Mooslims want to blow us all up.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

Orangs are not the only fruits,
you know.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:46, archived)

Ginger gorillas
How gay is that ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:48, archived)

Like the lead singer from QOTSA?

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

Why are QOTSA playing twice?
Are they stopping halfway through the set for a 20 minute intermission?
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

20 minute intermission wank.
( Comma, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Once
at somerset house, then after at some little place in camdem. would have been amazing.
(farmer, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:54, archived)

It would have been great
I think they're playing at Reading this year and I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm a bit old to go breaking noses down at the front, but I'll be tapping my feet somewhere nearby.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

london bombings predicted by webdings!!!
type '7th july' in word and convert to webdings. you get a picture of a train, an ambulance, an underground train, a plane and the nato logo (predicitng tony blair's return from the G8 summit by private jet)

spooky.....
(Brad Dice, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:37, archived)

He's flying back
by helicopter
(mrpaulo shaving the world, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:40, archived)

Not to mention the Rewind symbol - is Craig David the terrorist mastermind behind it all?
And a circle with a horizontal strikethrough - did you just conveniently ignore this bit?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:40, archived)

Sounds like the Underground logo

( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

I take it all back!
So, are the police going to arrest Craig David, or what?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

Circle with horizontal strikethrough = London Underground.
I hate this conspiracy bollocks, but there you go.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:45, archived)

It's quite an interesting example
of how uncannily sensical patterns can appear in complete randomness, if you're looking for them.
( Newington, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:54, archived)

The rewind
is two arrows pointing back (to 9/11 and Madrid, of course) and the circle with a line is the Underground logo.

I mean, duh!
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:45, archived)

If you type in 'Tavistock Square'
You get the Olympic symbol, Tony Blair urinating over Paris and Jacques Chirac handing money to an Arab. The message is clear.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

arf.
it's also predicted in tahoma font. just type in "we're going to blow up trains and buses on 7th of July". spooky.
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

(R-T-C Got arbitrage profits?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Where's the plane?
I think I got a desert island instead
( in vino veritas, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Lowercase j is a plane.
(stop looking at my goats you bag of spunk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:59, archived)

Oh
Damn my ignorant capitalisation!
( in vino veritas, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 15:13, archived)

pfffffft
not bad!
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

What's the most important thing
when you buy shoes? Cost, looks, comfort, quality?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

Comfort and looks
Cost is for povs.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:37, archived)

Comfort.
Same goes for beds and underpants.
You're almost always in one of them.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:37, archived)

Someone else's,
at that.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:39, archived)

Cost, looks, (comfort and quality)
in that order.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

cost
then comfort, then looks, then quality
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:39, archived)

Looks, primarily, then comfort.
There are lots of styles on the market that only absolute cunts would wear. I shy away from these styles.

Once an acceptable form has been found, then comes the function...
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:40, archived)

What is an unacceptable
look? White leather deck shoes with tassles?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

according to google, this:
images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:yxRgIOTxKsAJ:www.eddiebauer.com/assets/products/C_flat/EB03IG_0190578_200C1.jpg

/edit: Googled for 'unacceptable shoes' by the way
( Fergburger, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

No, they sound great! *plays keepy-uppy with tassles and can't lose*

Stupidly large buckles are for twats
Overly-long fronts are for cunts
Overly-stubby fronts are for spackers and queers
Too much height on a heel of the sign of a foppish cock-muncher
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:49, archived)

Comfort, quality, looks.
The importance of cost depends whether you're paying for them or your parents.
( Comma, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

you pay for your parents?

( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

It's the next step up
from paying for your friends.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:48, archived)

The
shoe box
(dernuke - ARTCRAP, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:48, archived)

comfort
people who sacrifice the comfort of their feet for any of the other considerations are pisswhistles of the absolute lowest order
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:49, archived)

I was just in the pub on city road
and due to the events of today the pub (the eagle if anyone cares) decided to stop serving alcohol and not let anyone else in!

Disrupting our transport is one thing, but our pubs?!?
(Megaton Bob has nothing more to say, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:31, archived)

If I still worked in a London pub
I'd probably use today as an excuse for a massive lock-in, too.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

bastards

nothing to do with the fact the staff can't get into work then?
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

No. The place was fully staffed.
It was a head office directive. Cunts.
(Megaton Bob has nothing more to say, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:34, archived)

Pubs should not have head offices
Chain pubs should be banned.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

They should strike back against radical Islam
by serving alcohol all day and all night.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

Good point
and decadently shagging Nigella Lawson in public whilst on the piss.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

and simultaneously
eating a bacon butty.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:37, archived)

Or maybe getting her
to swallow your pork sword.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

TGMTFH
i'd love to drink champagne from her immaculate lady-cup.
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:39, archived)

I love teh Nige.
She gives me TFH like few other women in existence*.


*Mrs. Tea included
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

*riots*

( MrA, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

Don't let
the terrorists win! We need our civil rights and liberties to get pished!
(Kendal, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:33, archived)

the cheek of it
Don't they realise it's playing into these peoples hands?

Man the beer engines I say.
(driverchris, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:33, archived)

I think that the last thing that A&E needs right now
Is a load of drunk people turning up demanding treatment for injuries incurred whilst on the piss.

On the other hand, you could just go and buy some beer from the offy and drink it in the park, picnic style; the sun's just come out, and it's stopped raining now.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:33, archived)

It's a double-edged sword.
Stay sober and alert and keep out of trouble. Or drown your sorrows at the thought of a six mile hike across london village.
(Megaton Bob has nothing more to say, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:35, archived)

welcome to my world.*
*not in lodon, but has no public transport system
( MrA, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

picnic tramp
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

Anyone seen War of the Worlds?
Truly bad film. But with some useful lessons for American Citizens in times of crisis:

1) Save yourself at the expence of anyone else. If you have a tough moral, ethical, or compassionate decision to make, make it quickly, make it thinking pretty much only about yourself, and never question it afterwards.

2) Take a gun. Your fellow Americans neither own guns nor have a mindset obsessed with the power of guns. Therefore if you take yours it will grant you power over other gunless Americans in a similar plight, which you can use to benefit yourself.

3) Soldiers must shout at civilians and are completely superior to civilians. Do not question any solder even when he is shouting at you to do something you are already doing.

4) As long as you wait long enough, and ignore huge death tolls, devestation on a vast scale, and the possibility your enemy may regroup, address their initial mistakes and come back at you, we will be victorious and return to our lives of blissful ignorance.
(Sir Ian Blair, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:24, archived)

I think it was a truly brilliant film
and anyone who says different is an idiot
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:26, archived)

How did I forget that one
5) Anyone who disagrees with your way of doing things is part of the problem and the solution is probably to kill them.
(Sir Ian Blair, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:27, archived)

that
sums up london today pretty well.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:30, archived)

Twas utter cunty bollocks
Second worst film of the year, after hitchhikers guide
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:30, archived)

I rather liked it

( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

Why didn't you like Hitchhiker's Guide?
I thought it was okay. Not brilliant, but perfectly enjoyable.
( Comma, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:33, archived)

you enjoyed it then.

( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:26, archived)

Actually that's not the whole story
Speilberg is a genius and it is filmed very well.
And I think Tom Cruise is a pretty good actor, despite how he comes across as a loony-tune ADHD, ritalin-abstaining, scientologist egocentric person in real life.
(Sir Ian Blair, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

yes dear, would you like a balloon?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:26, archived)

That's nice.
I haven't seen it and am not going to.
( Comma, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:27, archived)

this
the new one or the old one ?
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:28, archived)

the old one was dead good at the time

( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

Putting the book to one side,
everyone know's that the musical is the best version.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:31, archived)

god yeah!
does the new movie have Eve of The War in any way? like just the orchestral bit at the start? that`d be really cool
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

OOOOOOOOHH - LLAAAAAAAAA

( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:34, archived)

Dunn Dunn Derrrrrr
doodle ooo doodle ooo
beeewoooo whirrrrrrr
or summat ;D
(lemonymillenniumbaboon, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

Watching the film trailers
where the voiceover reads out the introduction, I couldn't help but think that I'd have been more interested in the film if they'd used the Richard Burton voiceover from the musical.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

Fuck off is it
the computer game version is the best.

Gecko molester.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

the computer game is brill
I might install it later and have a go.. the music is class
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:35, archived)

I hate the agree with you, well ever
but i do
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

rearrange these words to make an understandable statement of your choice

( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

I
keep meaning to buy the redone musical version but I keep forgetting to every time im out.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

*coughs*
www.torrentreactor.to/torrents/view_45602
( Fergburger, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

WOTW
was it based aroung the Leatherhead area like the book?
(driverchris, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:31, archived)

is
Woking innit?
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:34, archived)

No
My daughter goes to school there and we never saw any tripods
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:35, archived)

Course not.
Things like that ONLY happen in the good ole USofA. Never anywhere else. Tch!
( D3xt3r Don't take any guff from these fucking swine...., Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Well untill this morning
you were correct...
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:48, archived)

It strikes me as odd (i.e. utterly incomprehensible)
that these aliens who have been studying us for a million years would not have infrared cameras or something similar to find us when we hide in our basements...
([sic] You're ad here?, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

Yes - can't remember from the book
But that bit seemed utterly ludicrous, and I have no idea why we had to see the aliens in the flesh that early on. They were a much scarier faceless menace, rather than some cute extra from Land of the Dinosaurs VII.
(Sir Ian Blair, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:39, archived)

"No one would have believed..."

The new version of this passage isn't anywhere near the original.

BTW I was listening to the Jeff Wayne version in the car the other night at about 3am coming home from work. I spooked myself so much I locked the car doors. How the missus laughed when I got home.
( andyparmo bumming sheeps since, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:37, archived)

Got the telly on here
They've just said they've found 'traces of explosives' at one of the bomb sites.

No shit Sherlock.
(Pachey, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

could have been Michelin tyres

/"tactless cunt"
( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

pfft
cunt.
( MrA, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:25, archived)

heheehe

( Reckless_Rik, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:28, archived)

I'd have thought there'd be lots of shit and soiled undies there

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:25, archived)

that
and the fucking huge crater might give the game away.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 14:26, archived)