I am verrrry drunkin!
And myfriend'skeyboard is shite. And it was me earlier who askedhowto use a chip pan and for your information the house is intact and the chips were in fact nice ;-)
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:21, archived)

I can't help noticing
there are no nude pics of you in your profile. Please rectify this situation immediately.
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:24, archived)

Well I am sad
and have a myspace, there are bra pics of me there.
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:28, archived)

oh well done, you just killed this place for the night!
*sounds of /talk being hidden by MySpace windows*
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:30, archived)

I am sorry
But you're probably all peadophiles if you want to look at me, I am BARELY LEGAL, biatches.

GAY.
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:32, archived)

your point
being?
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:33, archived)

I
do not in fact have a clue
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:41, archived)

You're just encouraging them

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:34, archived)

yes but you're drunk
and "barely legal" means "legal"

tits out please
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:35, archived)

Haha
I am a pricktease, did you not see my blog? Anyway I'm taken and I'm not sure mister would approve :P


Beside there's barelyanything to see, if I lay on my back I might as well be male, or twelve.

Edit: blog=profile
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:39, archived)

I figured you WERE twelve
Why else would this lot be after pictures of your tits?
( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:40, archived)

Lol
not quite. But I did in fact just say lol, so assume I am.

More poppers!!
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:42, archived)

( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:43, archived)

What does that mean
?
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:44, archived)

can I get the phone number of the girl with the dreads please? thanks ;)
( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:45, archived)

Haha.
Everyone asks that. No. You'll have to sweet-talk me a bit first, and be a half-decent man (by her standards) and live somwehere in the vicinity of wiltshire.
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:47, archived)

ZOMG R U ON MYSPACEs?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:48, archived)

And, SHE's drunk, and has TITs. What are we to do JMG?
LOL!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:49, archived)

ROFPMSL!1one
SHE SOUNDz leik a gurl!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:50, archived)

Well I'm a complete sucker for dreads
Depends where in Wiltshire you live
( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:49, archived)

You fancy Bob Marley.
AICMFP.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:51, archived)

He turned me down :(

( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:52, archived)

You DIRTY old cunt!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:47, archived)

Well for a start I'm not old

( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:48, archived)

LOL!
*literally* ROFLING.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:24, archived)

"ROLFING" is a type of MASSAGE
OR SOMETHING
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:27, archived)

Actually
It just sounds like a bizzaire sexual practice involving animals and the BBC
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:29, archived)

bah
more fire and screaming
would have made them taste much nicer
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:24, archived)

POEM TIME
I miss my lovely Scouser pals
It has been oh so long
Since I romped with them all night
And smelled their stinky pong.

I miss my lovely Scouser pals
Whether they're Blues or Reds
I can't wait til I drink their booze
And puke in all their beds.

Alas! My lovely Scouser pals!
One day we'll be together!
Just wait til I spend all my dosh
Then we can steal whatever.
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:10, archived)

helloooooooooooooo

( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:11, archived)

niiiiiiiiiiiing

( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:13, archived)

Lets get married

( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:16, archived)

kthx

( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:19, archived)

I'll take that as a no

( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:23, archived)

O RLY?

( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:27, archived)

I don't understand
I just want to be loved :(
( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:32, archived)

mancs kill scousers
FACT
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:12, archived)

Scousers kill Mancs in retaliation
FACTER.
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:13, archived)

you are literally wrong
I like the word "literally". It should be used a lot more.
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:15, archived)

dont you mean....
it should literally be used alot more?
(clayud, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:17, archived)

ALOT MOORE INTERNETS

( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:19, archived)

GAAAHHHH
I hate people who say "alot"

ALOT IS NOT A WORD AND YOU SHOULD BE SHOT TWICE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD IF YOU SAY IT

literally
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:21, archived)

Ommigawdddddttt!
Yeah like, vat is saouwh twueh!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:22, archived)

Are you Norwegian all the sudden?

( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:28, archived)

I seem to be turning Essex
I'd best shoot myself before it becomes terminal.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:30, archived)

I HATE IT TWO.

( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:27, archived)

I literally
agree with you, desu?
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:17, archived)

What, like, literally all the time like? Like, literally is totally like a word to use in like literally every sentance, innit?

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:17, archived)

Yeah touw'ally!
INNIT.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:20, archived)

I can sense Robin
turning in his sleep.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:26, archived)

Robin Mykey
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:28, archived)

That's only because he's next to me.
Robin disturbs the force, don'tchaknow?
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:31, archived)

O RLY?
SCOUUUUUUUUUUUUSE YEAH?
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:18, archived)

Have you lot seen that MadV on yoooootoooooobe?
Fun to watch.

Best done in reverse order, starting at the bottom of this page and going up and back to page 1.

www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=MadV&page=2

wibble. You know I won't care if it's severely silicated phallus.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:09, archived)

I can do that "greatest card trick" thing
it's a piece of piss, just takes a lot of practice
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:19, archived)

I like the spinning floating one best I think.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:27, archived)

ELECTRIC EEL PIE

( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:59, archived)

I have secretly been here all along.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:00, archived)

secretly literally
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:02, archived)

Maybe if you went around licking dried spunk from the floor
/ac

Bloody hell, I've only been online for eight days and already I have hundreds of autocompletes.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:01, archived)

Eight days?
Don't you need some sleep?

*awfulspang*
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:06, archived)

Ho ho ho ho ho
what a wheeze.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:07, archived)

*reaches for asthma inhaler*

( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:10, archived)

AiryFairy
I'm not really going to piss on your windows, I promise.
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:57, archived)

kinky

( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:00, archived)

Too late
you've scared her off.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:02, archived)

This warcraft game in the newsletter
is something of ace!
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:41, archived)

[hilariously witty comment about card games]

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:44, archived)

[hilariously witty laugh]

( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:45, archived)

'lo Mono!
how's things?
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:46, archived)

rubbish
I'm not even drunk, I've been driving hilariously drunk people around though
( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:47, archived)

DRUNK BY PROXY

( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:59, archived)

Your level of preparedness....
.... is surely insufficient.
( Lord_Floaty Hooting gladly., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:45, archived)

I am seriously horrible at this game..
I cannot get past level 25
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:46, archived)

I don't know what game you're talking about

( MONO!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:49, archived)

Um, first link in the newsletter..
sheep killing thing
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:57, archived)

This.....
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXFpzQaaII4

My face will explode on Tuesday......


Asplode.
( Lord_Floaty Hooting gladly., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:57, archived)

The word 'gotten'....
... has really gotten on my tits tonight....

What word or phrase makes your cum fizz ?
( Lord_Floaty Hooting gladly., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:12, archived)

What did annoy me
is someone I know boasting about going three days on 5 hours sleep.
Am I really jaded about these things,
or is that really un-fucking-impressive?

Edit: actually 5 Hours 30 Minutes
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:17, archived)

I may boast more
...but I won't
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:23, archived)

I know what you mean
it's like saying 'I went a whole weekend without wanking.'
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:27, archived)

now then..
THAT is a feat
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:29, archived)

bad words
may be old but 'innit' kills my brain!
(airyfairy, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:20, archived)

I read that in Japanese
'Desu' means the same thing, and is used almost constantly in conversation
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:25, archived)

how very
very annoying!
(airyfairy, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:26, archived)

I think people say stuff like 'innit'
at the end of sentences because they aren't quick enough to plan out the conclusion.
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:28, archived)

YES
especially when coupled with stupid phrases like 'cool beans'.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:43, archived)

Literally
like when someone says 'I LITERALLY died' or 'the blister was LITERALLY the size of a house'

FUCK YOU
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:22, archived)

ooo
like when people say i literally couldn't speak.... so why dont you shut up!
(airyfairy, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:25, archived)

your lurkeragering is impressive

( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:26, archived)

I wish you would aspire
to replicate it
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:29, archived)

*pats on head*

( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:29, archived)

thanks!
i'm just about drunk enough to have the bravery to post!
(airyfairy, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:30, archived)

ah don't worry about it
I post stuff and nobody pays any attention
welcome and all that
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:33, archived)

ta
been lurking for years! scared of the clique-ness!
(airyfairy, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:35, archived)

start your own then!
you can't have The Crude Dudes though, that's my cliques' name
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:37, archived)

ooh ooh
can i join! i have impressive breasts ha ha!
(airyfairy, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:38, archived)

well I can't just take your word for that
we need proof man, proof!
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:40, archived)

hmmm
if i was a man the proof would be moobs.... and no-one wants to see that this early on a saturday!
(airyfairy, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:44, archived)

You'd be surprised
no matter how strange or repulsive something is, someone somewhere on the internet will genuinely be turned on by it.

Of course, us b3tans are relatively normal compared to most of the nutjobs out there.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:47, archived)

...
how scary
(airyfairy, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:49, archived)

well if you don't show us some ladychest
then the whole board shall shun you!
and we'll piss on your windows
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:48, archived)

ok
this is why i was scared to post!!
(airyfairy, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:50, archived)

psst
I think he's joking
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:52, archived)

aaarghhh
no i'm scared now i'm going to lurk forever!
(airyfairy, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:54, archived)

this arouses me

( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:46, archived)

the myth of the b3ta clique is greatly exaggerated.
you just find that one day you fit in...
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:42, archived)

Hello.
*waves*
( Lord_Floaty Hooting gladly., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:39, archived)

hi
hey there!
thanks for the friendlyness!
(airyfairy, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:45, archived)

You are more than welcome......
.... do enjoy your stay. I'm not here often but I'm sure you'll be looked after.
( Lord_Floaty Hooting gladly., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 4:02, archived)

Spyware
Fucking spyware pisses me off.

Took an age to remove ABETTERINTERNET and STRATION from the PC tonight.
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:42, archived)

Pissed as a fart
hurrah for friday night
how was yours?
nearly got into (but avoided) 3 fights!
go plymouth scum!
(City wall is not doing much, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:00, archived)

I am not in plymouth
so I am auomatically better than you, you big piece of southern shit
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:03, archived)

ahh
but i am at uni
therefor making me a million times better than you, you fat loser.
(City wall is not doing much, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:04, archived)

haha
I am also at uni, and a much better one than plymouth you fucking dole-bait
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:05, archived)

fuck you
i didnt need daddy to pay my way posh shite
(City wall is not doing much, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:10, archived)

neither did I
just because I didn't go to plymouth to be a well trained pikey cunt doesn't mean I'm spoilt
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:13, archived)

only if i were pikey
then i would not have a care in the world like you, benifit boy.
(City wall is not doing much, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:15, archived)

make your mind up
benefit boy/rich kid

I think you're just bitter that you're going to be starting in the professional world at the BOTTOM FUCKING RUNG
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:21, archived)

o_0
you are both cunts.
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:25, archived)

well tomorrow I will be sober
and you will still have a gay beard and a big forehead
myspace-273.vo.llnwd.net/01512/37/22/1512252273_l.jpg
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:27, archived)

pfft!
this!
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:30, archived)

mr pot
there's a dr kettle for you on line 6..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:27, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
you win
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:28, archived)

as much as me and twmc hate each other..
you're wrong on that one. being at uni just makes you a student. nothing big or clever about that..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:06, archived)

im smart
im gettin me a degree! mr blair loves me
(City wall is not doing much, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:11, archived)

you are just destined to be one of thousand of disappointed kids
who fail to realise that their english degree with a side order of something arty just means that they are 6 years older when they are flipping fries at mcdonalds...
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:16, archived)

hurrah for biology
making your medicines for your cancer ridden lungs
(City wall is not doing much, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:19, archived)

thats what you think now.
youare going to spend the next 40 years examiningtissue samples in a hospital while some stressed out houseman screams at you that he wanted to know if mrs wiggins shit covered lower bowel as infectious or not..

enjoy...
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:21, archived)

Don't make me fucking laugh
biology is just 80-year-old chemistry without the metals or the complex theoretical bits.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:41, archived)

I actually don' t hate you
I merely resent your liking of 90Nz0. ;)

I do remember we made up at one point...
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:12, archived)

STP PICNG ON 90NZ0!

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:17, archived)

hehe

( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:21, archived)

Never mind the zombies.
the aliens have landed! you are all going to die/be anally probed.

you have 5 minutes, what do you do?
( TBL I posted this on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:53, archived)

Chain
smoke
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:54, archived)

I'd go and see if the hot girl in DB7 wants to sleep with me so we can be having sex when we die
If she doesn't, then I haven't lost anything
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:54, archived)

you die with no dignity and a sense of insignificance
you loose at life
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:57, archived)

She would though, so I win
And who would she be able to tell in five minutes? No one. Especially after I tie her to the radiator so she can't escape. I'm too tired to think any more
Good night everyone
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:58, archived)

you die a rapist
you loose
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:00, archived)

...
just fucking shoot already
(City wall is not doing much, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:01, archived)

get a gun
kill children
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:55, archived)

along this vein
single-handedly turn back the invasion,
starting off with only a pistol you stole from a dead guard's body,
then ending by setting the 'Big Red' brand self-destruct
on the alien mothership and escaping with only seconds to spare in a
cool-ass little fighter jet thing
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:58, archived)

sorry to tell you but
will smith already did that
( TBL I posted this on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:02, archived)

No, this is totally different
bring on the alien invasion!
as a nation of gaming addicts, we all know exactly what to do
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:04, archived)

pursuit of happiness
is SO not the film I thought it was
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:04, archived)

what was
the quadbike chase like?
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:06, archived)

I don't remember
but the sex scene between Will Smith and his son is a must see.
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:14, archived)

pfft!

( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:29, archived)

head to the nearest mall
and grab a lawnmower..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:56, archived)

Boobytrap my arsehole

(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:56, archived)

*clicks*
imagines this
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:28, archived)

Come the Alienal Probes
I'll go down shitein'
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 3:39, archived)

i was going to wait for a thread to jack
but then i remembered this is /talk, and pointless threads are just fine.

night all... it's suddenly late, i've discovered.
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:49, archived)

Gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
/threadjack
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:50, archived)

so's
your face.
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:50, archived)

well it was on your dad's asshole

( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:54, archived)

G'nite you
Nice speaking to you
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:53, archived)

OK B3TA DOT COM INTHIS THREAD WE ARE PRETENDING THE WORLD HAS ENDED THROUGH ZOMBIE INVASION
GO
( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:31, archived)

and yet the fatties continue to post
are they not edible?
( thiswasmyclone, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:33, archived)

We are draining their fat to power our fatlamps
there is a farm in the basement
( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:35, archived)

*fwap*?
...
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:33, archived)

I'd be fine. I imagine I'm not that edible.
That or I'd be a zombie and eat your brains nyom nyom nyom
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:34, archived)

on a related note anyone play urbandead here?

( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:37, archived)

I have no idea what that is but I'd be interested in learning
Let me guess... it's something to do with zombies
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:38, archived)

www.urbandead.com

browser based MMORPG set in a zombie infested city. it's quite addictive.
( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:41, archived)

Looks interesting, so I've bookmarked it
But I should go to bed soon, so I won't start playing right now. Thanks, Boondocks
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:43, archived)

no, but it sounds funky
what is it?
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:39, archived)

Yes, in theory,
although I haven't visited Malton for a while.
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:42, archived)

i've just begun playing, it's awesome

( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:47, archived)

I looked down /talk
and everyone is purple!

What would you do if there were no b3ta?
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:14, archived)

I'd get a lot more sleep
And probably do better in my uni work
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:15, archived)

^this^
both of it.

I'm writing some sort of horrible pseudocode at the moment to imitate swarm intelligence... it's cool, but I really should have started it about a week ago...
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:19, archived)

Line 10 >burn down peadophiles house

( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:26, archived)

masturbate at work

(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:16, archived)

be obessed with something else
but I have met some great people from here.
( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:19, archived)

It does sort-of worry me that when I come on the net I think
"Oh I wonder how the people on b3ta are".
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:21, archived)

but surely you are all robots?

( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:22, archived)

A fucking robot?
What sort of robot would take the time to draw that bloody fantastic award for you?
You're lucky they can't be withdrawn. Ha.
Oh, and I may re-design it at some point. Well, I will, but I don't know when. When I do I shall send you the new one and it will have a shiny NUMBER ONE on it
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:24, archived)

this
but they are a lovely bunch of cunts really.
( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:22, archived)

cunts coconuts
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:23, archived)

mainly they're fucking hams

( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:22, archived)

I'm used to thinking like that
Since 1998 I've used a "talker" program called Snowplains which my friends run. I know people so well from there. I'm sure this place will be like that to me in 8 years time. Maybe not even that long.
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:23, archived)

*goes on the link in myspace*
Ooh, you're a ... chocolate penguin?
Fucking yes we should get some sort of titles here. We could be voted in to them.

On second thoughts that's a naff idea.
Snowplains looks interesting though. I'd hesitate to give myself yet another distraction though
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:33, archived)

It's had it's hey dey
When we were all at Uni or just left. There used to be 3 or 4 "meets" (bashes) each year but now we haven't had an official one for ages.

We get together and do stuff but it's more like just seeing friends
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:44, archived)

less procrastination, more world domination

( Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:23, archived)

Does anyone know where to find one of those
facial animation things, where you upload a photo of yourself, point out the eyes and mouth, and the computer generates realistic facial movements and animations from it?

A la Harry the Hamster.
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:48, archived)

try viraltags.com
I've been reading the exploration of the power station behind Niagra, featured in the newsletter for the last half an hour.

Fuck me it's incredible.
/quite in awe
( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:52, archived)

I've been wondering about something that happened last night
My bosses' boss and this ex-employee where talking infront of me but being all secretive "Let me know how it goes" and all that, and "We can't discuss it now".

I feel really paranoid and horrible about this.
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:00, archived)

Abortion. That's all it can be
Seriously, it's probably not connected to you or your job, but is instead something personal. Like one of them having an affair and wanting to brak it off with their spouse
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:01, archived)

Ok
Because of what happened for the rest of the night, I keep thinking that it is that she is seeing the IT guy.

But I know that is mental. Not that it matters to me either way apart from I really dislike the woman, and is probably the only thing that would prevent me from being his friend.
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:05, archived)

You're obsessive.
My tip: be less obsessive.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:06, archived)

I'm tired
I've got an addictive personality so when something is new and shiney I go on and on about it a lot.
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:07, archived)

*gets new and shiny*
proceed :-)
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:13, archived)

Obviously I don't know everything about this but I suspect you're reading far too much into this
It may very well be a completely different circumstances, and only the fact that you're looking for patterns as to why he may not like you as much means you've picked up on it. Even if there's nothing there you want to find something to help make sense of it.
/Pseudopsychology
But seriously, you're probably just reading too much. In cases like this, that's generally what has happened.
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:13, archived)

No, he likes me quite a lot
We get on fantastically well actually. Apart from last night where we did have a bit of a falling out.

But he is a going to be a really good friend, someone I can talk to really easily.
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:20, archived)

Yes
this newsletter was not shit
( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:01, archived)

The tonsil pictures man!
Did that person never even brush thier teeth?
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:06, archived)

much blood
ewww.

i had tonsilitis once... I antibioticced it to death. six months later I had the early symptons of it (about a week before many coursework deadlines in my 3rd year of uni.) The doctors wanted to remove my tonsils because it was the second time i'd had the infection.

"fuck off. give me drugs".
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:10, archived)

this is exactly what I would say

( Well, not quite Will be nice for food, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:12, archived)

My girlfriend had tonsilitis and she looked NOTHING like that
I've never had it myself, although I hear it's a bit nasty. In the photos I like the fact that the guy thinks "oh fuck large amounts of blood are coming out of my mouth, I need my camera"
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:17, archived)

i would hope she didn't
that would involve her looking like a man :-)
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:21, archived)

Well you being living in Birmingham you've probably seen her
But I'm not going to tell you where she works because she thinks only weird people go on here (including me). Also, it'd just be weird, unless people had met her at a bash already.
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:23, archived)

I only live in brum occasionally...
I have the honour(?) of being a midlandery type so I drive in from home most days and sleep on peoples floors in Selly Oak when I need to go out and get drunked.
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:26, archived)

eww haemorraging!
i was going to have mine out, but it was decided to dangerous as apparently mine are too embedded and i could easily bleed to death all of a sudden:|

wonder if he went to hospital!??
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:17, archived)

I have no idea, sorry. It sounds ace, so if you do find one please post it on /links
I imagine /board are more likely to know, however
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:58, archived)

No.
I've just watched Paycheck, and believe it to be one of the worst films ever. Also, I've just drank some pepsi, and I think it's given me the bends.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:00, archived)

Global warming. I'm a scientist, and all I can
say is that it to do with the sun and that. And the sun makes hops and barley grow, so we should all drink more beer and eat more animals that don't make beer.

This should save the planet.
( Druid, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:47, archived)

here's to beer!
( polar ice is done for 4 months, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:48, archived)

I'm like Steve Irwin, only
more alive.
( Druid, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:49, archived)

And you don't have a daughter that looks like Yoda

( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:51, archived)

Hahaha!
/ac
( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:54, archived)

solar flares.
but you can't implement a green tax based on solar flares...
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:48, archived)

Just leave your fridge door open at night.
All will be well with the world.
( FoldsFive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:51, archived)

We're eco warriors,
only less shit.
( Druid, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:52, archived)

I eat meat so vegetarians don't have to.
I consider it a public service.
( FoldsFive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:53, archived)

Every time I eat something not meaty
which tastes foul, I blame Comma.

I have to admit I've yet to eat any animal which tastes foul.

don't do a chicken/turkey/fowl joke. Please.
( Druid, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:59, archived)

Ice, water n shit
* GLOBAL WARMING QUERY - kkealy enquires, "I have a question about Global Warming. If you take a glass full of ice cubes, fill it to the tippy-top with water, and then wait for the ice to melt, the water level will fall (go ahead, try it). This is because water expands when it freezes (hence the burst pipes in your attic). So - if the global warming thing happens, and the polar ice-caps melt, given that 90% of the North Pole is, in fact, UNDERwater, won't the sea level /fall/ instead of rise....?"

This question is damn good! I had to think about this while on the loo. (the thinking mans throne)

Anyway, I don't think the sea level would fall.

Why? Because you have to take into account the proportion of ice to water - for example, take a glass, put about 2-3cm of water in it. Then fill it up with ice cubes. Lo and behold the water will rise! There's more water in the ice than in the initial amount of water.
While the proportion of ice to water is rather skewed in that example, I'm sure the ice/water ratio on the earth is nearer 1:1 so proportionally there won't be a huge rise. To us puny humans it will look like a huge rise (I think something along the lines of 20m) but to the earth it just needs to paddle a bit more.

So therefore sea level will still rise.

(I'm no scientist but this makes sense to me.)
(AdamJ Just another pom, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:24, archived)

it's more
that Antartica is a fucking great big land mass covered in ice, and it'll all run into the sea if it melts instead of being all high up and not contributing to the sea levels.

(although the stuff that's floating.. if it all melted would lower the sea levels a teeny but. not much though)

edityedit. the reason the level goes up in the glass when you only have a small amount of water is they're not contributing to the water level when they're stacked at the bottom of the glass... if they were floating the level would drop. :-)
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:26, archived)

If you see an iceberg floating in the sea
By far most of it is already under water.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:32, archived)

this is indeed true.
7/8ths or so. this is because ice is only slightly less dense than water. (water's at its most dense at around 4 degrees C, I believe...)

edit: and because the floating ice becomes more dense when it melts, it has less volume, so the water level drops *slightly*. would be counteracted by the huge amount of ice sitting on land melting though
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:34, archived)

a lot of the arctic is touching land at the bottom though
and is higher compared to the water than it would be if it were floating freely
( spacefish bong!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:34, archived)

i'm a scientist
and it makes no sense to me

can't we all just do our bit by drinking a gallon of water each or something?
( spacefish bong!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:32, archived)

I just drank 500ml of 'relaxing botanic water'
does that count?

Whether it counts or not, you can guarantee I'm going to be up weeeeeing all night now :-(
( Mrs Trouser is probably annoying Dave just by being here on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:34, archived)

i for one will sleep soundly knowing that

( spacefish bong!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:35, archived)

I passed several pints of botanic slurry
earlier, maybe that's similar.
( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:36, archived)

Relaxing botanic water? Is this one of those pseudosciency things that'll realy piss me off and make me unpleasant this time of night
And so I should just ignore it? (Not you though)
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:48, archived)

If we did that
Then there would be loads of wee everywhere instead of seawater.
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:36, archived)

ice is less dense than water
there is less water in ice as a solid than water as a liquid.

This is all I have to say on the matter.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:03, archived)

this question made me really think
in the end, why not just kill all the whales who take up humungous space in the seas?

hmm
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:24, archived)

Pity me, I have to go to Rhyl later today.
I also have the privilege of waking up at half 8 to do so.
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:23, archived)

*pities*

( FoldsFive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:23, archived)

Oh dear
We went there by accident when driving around northern Wales on holiday.

It looked like the most horrendous tacky holiday resort we'd ever seen

*apologises to anyone that lives there*

Why on earth are you going there?
( Mrs Trouser is probably annoying Dave just by being here on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:25, archived)

Football *rolls eyes*
I'm looking forward to be in a place famous for its paedophiles and smackheads.
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:26, archived)

I'm going shopping in Chavville
in 9 or so hours. Town is always chavvy on Saturdays and if you don't believe me, listen to the arguing chavs I can hear outside my window right now
( Mrs Trouser is probably annoying Dave just by being here on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:28, archived)

I have to get up at 6am
to take my brother to Heathrow so he can arse around in Koh Tao for another 3 months
(Cunto Something something something on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:27, archived)

i went on
the world's most rickety and chav infested 'fun' fair there - and yet I'm still alive. A miracle, no less.
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:29, archived)

No one cares.

(Tormentedpuffin bleughhhhh, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:32, archived)

I'm getting up at half eight to go rowing. I feel I deserve more pity

( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:48, archived)

that sounds
like a leisurely start for a rower...
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:49, archived)

It's the first time back
Normally it's a six o'clock start
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:52, archived)

i'd like to do rowing
but I don't really *do* mornings, and i'd have no time for other fun things at uni... like my masters...
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:54, archived)

Hahah i don't do mornings either really
But I know that if I don't row I'll just do no exercise apart from play Wii and get fat. So I have to force myself. The other mornings I don't tend to get up till about half ten, then sit on here for an hour or so
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:56, archived)

fair play
I'm weird enough to enjoy swimming and running, and since I only have to do those for me, and not for a team or anything they're less demanding on my time... yay.
(Fantastic Mr Porter is bored, and wishes it was, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:00, archived)

I can only run when I have music, and I gave my mp3 player to the girlfriend
Which was stupid. I always tend to put off running, so the consistency of the timings for rowing helps me. It's just a personal preference though
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 2:05, archived)

I'm OFF!
And it's about time too.

Goodnight!

*cups*
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:16, archived)

Goodnight, you insane yank

( FoldsFive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:17, archived)

YYAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!
*does two lines of blow, kills people from at least THREE ethinc groups, then grabs all of the world's remaining oil under a banner of peace and prosperity for all*

SCOOPZILLA: OUT
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:18, archived)

byeee

( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:42, archived)

hairy cunts and shrivelled willies
/9,000th post on /Talk
( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:09, archived)

God, there's a good chance I'll hit 20,000 before Easter

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:10, archived)

I've missed all the times mine has hit a multiple of 1000

( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:11, archived)

This. Although it's actually only happened once.

( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:12, archived)

The latter is the the effect I have on men
/post-rejection emo blog
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:10, archived)

Don't talk utter bollocks
you're a very nice lass and you know it.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:11, archived)

Yep even the ones that don't fancy me can't keep off me
Like when I was having a go at that guy for failing to realise that all his actions had really led me on, he did another one of those heart stopping kisses again.

I completely lost my temper at this point.
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:14, archived)

*sings*
an then he kissed me!!!!
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:16, archived)

I think he thought he was being comforting
I don't think he remembers though
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:17, archived)

Meh...
I hate phantom kissers.
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:20, archived)

He remembers me being really upset
He emailed me in the morning to go for "a chat".

I thought I was going to get a shouting at for gobbing off to half the office whilst I was drunk about what a shitbag he is.

Instead he apologised to me for not being very sensitive when I was pouring my heart out to him
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:25, archived)

It didn't go wel with IT guy? I'm sorry
Sounds a bit complicated though. One of those things of which romantic fillums are made
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:17, archived)

Nah it's not complicated
He is just very friendly and a bit of a loon, and gets quite affectionate towards me when he's drunk. I took this as him being shy and fancying me. But he doesn't.

It all went a bit sideways last night, but we were still great mates today it seems and we had drink over at the pub and he bought me a spot of lunch.
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:19, archived)

It must be a relief that you're still good mates though,
Thats a sign of a good friendship.
( FoldsFive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:24, archived)

Well I hope we are
The paranoid mentalist that resides under this thin veil of sanity I exude tells me that it is either a) a wind up, b) selfish reasons so that I don't get him fired or c) a way of being non-confrontational today so that he can let the relationship drift away
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:29, archived)

awww...
Not every guy. Sheesh!
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:12, archived)

You loon.
I've only met you once, and you're all of teh loveliness
forgive my memory lapse on the fact I am now very, very drunk
( FoldsFive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:12, archived)

Twice!
Sheesh
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:14, archived)

I imagined the entirety of the London bash
I must have dreamt it all
( FoldsFive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:16, archived)

It was your "imagination"
It didn't happen

I was never fucking there.
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:17, archived)

It's the only way I can make sense of the evening

( FoldsFive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:17, archived)

What was so weird about it?

( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:30, archived)

I got drunk way too quickly
and can't remember the trip home at all
( FoldsFive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:32, archived)

I didn't notice you being drunk at all
I can never tell that other people are drunk.
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:35, archived)

As WW will attest
I'm very good at appearing sober whilst very very drunk

Be good to see you in March though.. there's a good turnout for it and it should be a good un
( FoldsFive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:38, archived)

I'm very good at doing highly stupid and random things
and talking absolute and utter bollocks too
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:40, archived)

I'm trying to restore universal balance by making my /board
and /talk posts the same
( FoldsFive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:11, archived)

an evocative image of
"afterwards"
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:11, archived)

Fucking hell you've only been here two months longer than me
How's the business thing going following the loan?
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:11, archived)

I'm getting the loan after I finish my degree

( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:15, archived)

Today my friends got me drunk
and made me miss a lesson.

Are they cunts for this? I had a good time, but it feels wrong.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:54, archived)

they're a bad influence on you
and i don't want you to see them again
( spacefish bong!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:54, archived)

^ This
You should find new friends.
( FoldsFive, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:55, archived)

*helps you out of those wet clothes*
/ac
( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:55, archived)

And into a dry martini.
/family guy
( Sygiinu, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:57, archived)

with a twist
olives are so 1960s
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:58, archived)

a *lesson*?
isn't there an 18 certificate on this site?
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:55, archived)

there's a 3 certificate
which is a bit disturbing
( spacefish bong!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:57, archived)

b3tio gaga b3tio googoo

( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:59, archived)

choking hazard.
contains small parts.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:00, archived)

no need to get personal

( spacefish bong!, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:11, archived)

I'm a fucking riot?
YOU'RE A FUCKING RIOT!
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:55, archived)

Hardly, booze is better than formal education.

( King Ralph is drunk, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:56, archived)

Tell that
to Noel Edmunds.
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:58, archived)

He can fuck off!
I lost £2.50 on the Deal Or No Deal quiz machine in the pub tonight.
( King Ralph is drunk, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:02, archived)

BASTARD!
I shall think nasty thoughts about him.

What the HELL is the name of that giveaway that's on 3 or 4 round this time of night?
( Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:03, archived)

yes, they got you drunk
they forced those fluids into your mouth like American army prison officers. You pathetic excuse for carbon.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:57, archived)

What lesson was it?
If it was an important one then maybe it was wrong. If it was General Studies, it's ok
( Mrs Trouser is probably annoying Dave just by being here on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:58, archived)

English Literature
So, kind of.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:01, archived)

Tsk

( Mrs Trouser is probably annoying Dave just by being here on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:05, archived)

I was forced against my will to take GCSE General Srudies.
15 1hr lessons were meant to be attended.

0 1 hr lessons were actually attended.

1 2 hr exam was meant to be taken.

1 2 hr exam was passed with a B. Without trying.

General studies is a piss lesson. Dont go.
(King of Swandanavia Proud owner of the worlds first Flong, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:01, archived)

/never went
/got one of 5th highest grades in country
( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:03, archived)

*claps*

( Mrs Trouser is probably annoying Dave just by being here on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:04, archived)

^^
This
(King of Swandanavia Proud owner of the worlds first Flong, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:06, archived)

*throws you a fish*

( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:06, archived)

*balances it on nose*

( Mrs Trouser is probably annoying Dave just by being here on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:08, archived)

Yay
I got a 'B' too! I actually went to the lessons but none of it was of any use whatsoever in the exam. However, the crossword skills have been the only skill I've really used in my work - they make it easier for me to do sudokos when I'm bored
( Mrs Trouser is probably annoying Dave just by being here on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:04, archived)

I only got a B because I used near bog all of my Essay question paper.

(King of Swandanavia Proud owner of the worlds first Flong, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:05, archived)

Misread
As I used my essay question paper as bog roll

yes I have been drinking this evening
( Mrs Trouser is probably annoying Dave just by being here on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:07, archived)

I almost wrote it as bog roll
:)

/auto-complete
(King of Swandanavia Proud owner of the worlds first Flong, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:08, archived)

I did it for AS and failed because I just couldn't be arsed with the exams
then they made me take it again the next year. I wrote down my name and nothing else, and got 2% overall.

But as I got straight 'A's on my other subjects, they could hardly complain. Especially as maybe three other people in my year got the same.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:06, archived)

I remember something to do with planes or airlines in my exam.
Considering I went into it in a cloudy smelly fug of marijuana haze, I think I did well.

Far better than the woodwork written. Wrote my name, answered about 4 questions and proceeded to look for the tech drawing section. I draw a plank of wood with a smiley face. Handed it in and made a chap out of my pen and pencil and declared him Gordon. Afterwhich, I promplty fell asleep.

All of this whilst stone cold sober, not a drop of anything in me. Great fun.
(King of Swandanavia Proud owner of the worlds first Flong, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:11, archived)

I never did general studies, instead I did 'citizenship'
In one of the exams I answered a twenty-mark question in code. Little symbols that me and my friends used to send notes with in class. I got a high B
The final year I attended no lessons and got an A overall. Not as impressive as Moohala, but still shows what a joke that subject is
( Dave the Mighty, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:15, archived)

My school didn't do general studies

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sat 13 Jan 2007, 1:34, archived)

In the first few minutes of HANNIBAL, did she shoot the baby or what?

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:50, archived)

Yes, in the face with sex wee.

( King Ralph is drunk, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:52, archived)

they edited out the cannon

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:52, archived)

She shot the baby with a cannon!? Good Lord!

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sat 13 Jan 2007, 0:54, archived)