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# T-Shirt Compo time


TruffleShuffle have donated 5 T-shirts to us. If you'd like to win one then complete the follow tiebreaker in 50 words or less, 'If I met George Lucas I'd like to....'

Or buy a shirt directly from their site:
www.truffleshuffle.co.uk/store/mens-navy-dj-vader-tshirt-from-chunk-p-5718.html
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:13, archived)
# Present him with a cease & desist from Akira Kurosawa
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:15, archived)
# Haha
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:18, archived)
# wobble his wattle
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:15, archived)
# Harvest him for oil.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:16, archived)
#
If I met George Lucas I'd like to finally tell him that I am his father.
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:17, archived)
# shake his hand for
creating such a memerizing space opera, without which, I would not have this chance to win such a cool t-shirt.
(I helped save b3ta! dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:17, archived)
# cunt him in the fuck for raping my childhood
(I helped save b3ta! MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:17, archived)
# Cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes,
cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:17, archived)
# It'll never work you know.
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:19, archived)
# Hey it worked for prodigy69 with "GEOFF MAN.." for the newsletter title.
Admittedly it took about 5 years, but still.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:26, archived)
# this is lacking something
cornflakes maybe
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:19, archived)
# That would be one too many cornflakes.
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:27, archived)
# kill/choke/strangle/disembowel/stuffituphisarse him with this tshirt
(1.618..., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:17, archived)
# also, shouldnt that be this?
shouldnt that be this?
(1.618..., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:26, archived)
# ask him if he can survive the winter, using only the food he has stored in his neck pouch
(I helped save b3ta! Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:19, archived)
# Ha ha ha ha!
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:23, archived)
# lollers!
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:25, archived)
# break something precious to him.
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:19, archived)
# sit in the dark masturbating with him
(I helped save b3ta! MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:20, archived)
# so is this masturbating using George Lucas, or masturbating, while George Lucas is also masturbating?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:21, archived)
# I also wondered this
please elucidate on the wanking options.
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:22, archived)
# just a side-by-side buddy-wank
with the odd wink, grin, and word of encouragement
(I helped save b3ta! MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:23, archived)
# I could imagine doing that with Joe Pasquale.
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:28, archived)
# He'd make an excellent buttplug.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:23, archived)
# Talk enthusiastically about American Grafitti; pretend never to have heard of Star Wars.
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:20, archived)
# ha ha perfect!
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:31, archived)
# ask him what he was doing in Wigan.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:21, archived)
# Ask him why so few of his heroes have ginger hair?
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:21, archived)
# Plunge a knife into his neck to free him of the brain eating parasite nesting there.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:23, archived)
# congratulate him on the fantastic work he made of the Phantom Menace, praising at length the way in which he held to the vision of the original trilogy, and the value that the film adds to the Star Wars canon.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:23, archived)
# Ask him what happened to the cool looking Indiana Jones game that disappeared without a fucking trace?
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:23, archived)
# borrow his beard.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:26, archived)
# tap him oh-so-playfully on the nose
before shaving his beard off and threatening to feed it to him anally if he doesn't leave star wars the fuck alone from now on.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:26, archived)
# blow a raspberry on his hairy belly, glistening with sweat.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:26, archived)
# wobble his fucking goitre going "graaaah" like Chewbacca
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:26, archived)
# This is the funnies thing I've read on here all year.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 14:56, archived)
# tell him I've never seen any of his films
and ask him for a compelling reason to watch them as I've no intention of doing so
(I helped save b3ta! TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:26, archived)
# find out where to buy a fridge that can withstand a nuclear blast
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:27, archived)
# knit him a fucking huge scarf
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:27, archived)
# call him a smelly nerf herder
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:28, archived)
# ask him why he didn't just have the stormtroopers realise that they WERE the droids they were looking for, and thus save himself a huge amount of work.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:29, archived)
# Thank him for a huge part of my life
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:30, archived)
# ....present him with my synopsis for 'Star Wars: The Musical'
(The worst that can happen? Happened already, it has.)
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:30, archived)
# So long as I can run Star Wars On Ice
past him afterwards.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:33, archived)
# like to inject him with iodine to try and reduce his neck goiter.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:31, archived)
# press a spear against his chest asking him to make a loyal filn version of Day of the Tentacle
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:31, archived)
# tell him that the Star Wars Holiday Special was the best thing he's ever done.
Because... well... it is.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:32, archived)
# tell him to fuck off unless he can make more interesting films where the weapons aren't completely useless
also more blood and gore needed (I hope he takes this as constructive criticism - it would make his films far less boring and I might actually be able to watch one without falling asleep) k thx bai

ps lots of naked ladies too
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ɐŹ‡Ęš’ ŹžÉ”nā„² uooW, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:34, archived)
# ask him how he can sleep at night with the current Vodafone ads
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:35, archived)
#
...take him to a strip club and convince him to drunkenly fuck one of the strippers. Then I'd blackmail him. With the money I'd buy a T-shirt. And Wales.
(I helped save b3ta! gone, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:35, archived)
# ask him for a job.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:40, archived)
# Tell him I think Little Britain is shit and he should go back to doing Shooting Stars.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:44, archived)
# Pffft!
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:48, archived)
# hang out with him and talk about his massively successful space fantasy franchise
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:48, archived)
# you're a sellout
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:54, archived)
# Yeah
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BDyFuDxA-I
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:57, archived)
# suggest he makes a musical of The Phantom Menace - it coldn't be any worse
(I helped save b3ta! The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:49, archived)
# ask him why Jar Jar Binks isn't in A New Hope.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 13:52, archived)
# take a selection of his favourite childhood memories, tear them up into little pieces, and stamp on them repeatedly prior to finally pouring gallons of putrescent semi-rotted manure over the whole lot.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 14:02, archived)
# If I met George Lucas I'd like to...slap his fat chops for shitting on my childhood
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 14:07, archived)
# Ask him for Martin Scorsese's phone number.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 14:21, archived)
# Explain to him that I don't know why I'm doing this because I don't even want your fucking t shirt.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 14:22, archived)
# be the one to shoot first.
(Some Bloke Called Mat, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 14:25, archived)
# Look mesmerised as I violently shake his hand tell him, "thanks for making E.T, it's my favourite movie Mr. Spielberg"
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 14:38, archived)
# Sing him
this song like as what I made up about him: stuffinthangs.blogspot.com/2012/03/return-of-manic-monday.html

Or alternatively: ask him what was the point of that lizard in THX?
(pikey, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 14:43, archived)
#
...ruffle his hair before spitting on my hankie and rubbing that ghastly beard from his face whilst whispering "it's ok sweetie; we all make directoral errors sometimes."
(I helped save b3ta! Coubs Salty toothpaste, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 14:49, archived)
# push the neck fat up to his forehead so he looked like a hairy beluga whale.
(I helped save b3ta! --- ---, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 14:53, archived)
# Re-upholster my scrotum with his face
or something.

I dunno, maybe thank him for helping to revolutionise film effects, but then I suspect Jar Jar Binks wouldn't exist without FX, so it is a double edged sword
(cinquante_neuf vintage bintage circa, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:04, archived)
# I'd like to...
..Ask him how the fuck he managed to race a Bianchina, buy him a pint for upsetting nerds, then advise him to not fuck about with THX1138.
(57841, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:17, archived)
# Too late:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIfTT8EGj3A
(pikey, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:33, archived)
# teach the world to sing in perfect harmonyyyyyyyyyyyy
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:36, archived)
# punch him in the throat for episode one
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:56, archived)
#
Ask his neck how long it will be before it completely takes over his body...and the world. As the empire grows, so does the neck.
(anonymous blonde, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:02, archived)
#
ask him if he kept Jar Jar in as a dare - If he says no I would then say "wassa you tinking, wesa living in the 21st centery nowsa"

I hope he would say "how wude" and stick his tongue out at me before walking off.
(fluff1973, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:04, archived)
# ask him why he called them waistcoats "No Dads" on Big Break.
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:12, archived)
# go all Joeseph Fritzl on him ...... except for the babies I just want a ransom, not years of commitment
I'd probably have to kill him pretty quick, I reckon he'd cry quite a lot.
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:15, archived)
# ask him whether these are officially licensed t-shirts
(UTB, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:38, archived)
# If I met George Lucas, I'd like to
thank him for having the creativity to hear a sound a car makes and use that to make millions by using that sound in a world class movie.
(zhinka If you don't rescue,don't breed!, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:41, archived)
#
Bore everyone I ever met afterwards by telling them repeatedly that I've met George Lucas.
(jayroller I've seen a man die,weasel fighting., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:48, archived)
# "If I met George Lucas I'd like to...."
...say hello to him when he was on his way to the toilet.

No, hang on. I did, and I did do that. He used it after me, but it's okay: I'd only had a wee.

If I met him again, I guess I'd chat to him about the state of the toilets at Ealing Studios...
(TheMighty Blackout has done bugger all since posting this on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:51, archived)
# "If I met George Lucas I'd like to...."
steal his bank account details, and buy myself a damn yacht
(I helped save b3ta! SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:54, archived)
# Jump on his back and ride him like a Tauntaun around LIDL's carpark
(I helped save b3ta! Redders Will give hand jobs for clicks, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 17:00, archived)
# Use some force
to shove JaJa Binks up his arse
(Ich Komme is adjusting his testicles, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 17:28, archived)
# ... tell him that... I AM HIS FATHER
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 17:32, archived)
#
Kick him in the cock
(Tammytastic, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 18:17, archived)
# Ask
if he'll lend me tenner until next week and I'll buy him a pint with it.
(I helped save b3ta! social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 18:35, archived)
# show my thanks by cooking him some Wedge-n-Chilles with a dash of Mango Fett....
(stevenevermind, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 18:57, archived)
#
PUNCH THE JAR JAR BINKS OUT OF HIM. The floppy eared cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 19:23, archived)
# shit in his mouth
(thisisme, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 19:55, archived)
# Kick him in the nads and screeam 'Nooooooooo!!' at him as he lies there in a puddle of piss and blood.
(I helped save b3ta! hismastersvice cunting flange-jammer, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 19:58, archived)
# If I met George Lucas I'd like to....
...make him watch Jar Jar Binks on a repeating loop, for at least a week.
 
(I helped save b3ta! finnbar has officially retired, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 20:05, archived)
# Invest all your money into something that will give pleasure and joy to millions of people,like food and water and education and medicine . Only an idea.
Invest all your money into something that will give pleasure and joy to millions of people,like food and water and education and medicine . Only an idea.
(mrshad, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 22:13, archived)
# Slap him in waddle until...
...the baby wallaby crawls out and confesses to Phantom Menace.
(AngryMonkey, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 22:39, archived)
# monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey
eeee ee eee ee eeee eeee eeee eeeeee ee ee eeee eeee eeeee eee wooooooooooooooooooooo!
(zombiedeadbloke, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 22:56, archived)
# ...i'd like to...
submerge him in olive oil, coat him with a rosemary crust, bake him for 3 hours then ask him what the fuck he was thinking when he conceived jar jar binks.
(I helped save b3ta! Grundlebiscuit, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 22:59, archived)
# ...ask him how it would have turned out
if it actually was a Moon.
(I helped save b3ta! Black Moon Not cracked, I'm all up to be., Sat 10 Mar 2012, 0:10, archived)
# Tell him...
...I'm his father.
(I helped save b3ta! Yoofaloof 'I like it here, wherever it is...', Sat 10 Mar 2012, 0:15, archived)
# If I met George Lucas I'd like to
go on a nice sunny walk through a theme park, licking neopolitan ice cream, calling him dad, getting him to ruffle my hair, putting cigarettes in his japseye.
(Goodbye Doggy is re-sealable for freshness., Sat 10 Mar 2012, 2:02, archived)
# Give his beard a quick shave...
And then roll it up into a "commemorative collecter's edition Wookie figure" (Haven't decided if I should offer it to him as a gift or quote the fanbase a price, though).
(spacecat888 is just gonna finish this page on, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 3:18, archived)
# ... introduce him to Derren Brown, and watch them have a proper Jedi mind trick battle.
Obviously.
(Ellinikos contains a source of phenylalanine, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 4:17, archived)
# pull my cock out
and pretend it's a light saber
(softporn 70's sink fixer, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 8:22, archived)
# collect his mucus
(ndeezy, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 8:58, archived)
# Steal his nose and not give it back until he agrees to my demands.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 9:43, archived)
# give him the red herring to cross the bridge.
monkeyisland.wikia.com/wiki/George_Lucas
(Hagbard MacDougal, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 10:01, archived)
# ..ask him if he has a battery for a Sony Ericsson.
(I helped save b3ta! Mex3 =mememe, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 12:46, archived)
# "If I met George Lucas I'd like to...."
punch him on the willy because quite frankly, that is how Jar Jar makes us all feel!
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 15:24, archived)
# Ram
every reissue of starwars up his smug self satisfied arsehole tbh. That is all.
(bottle_cap, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 18:31, archived)
# If I met George Lucas I'd like to
Uppercut the fuzzy face no neck asshole for ruining my favourite films of my childhood, then get him to release the original Star Wars trilogy unedited on Blu Ray. He ruined everything, the big ruinner.
(stefd I HAVE RETURNED ..... And i brought cake, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 0:32, archived)
#
ask him about the porn he had luke and leia make before he let them know they were related
(DaintySavage, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 8:32, archived)
#
ask him if the rumour that Darth is his first cousin whose father L. Ron Hubbard sent him to Hollywood to insist that he should make a film about the 'force' which is in fact just a re-branding of his popular Scientology in order to garner public opinion in his favour is in fact true.
(apaulinthought, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 12:57, archived)
# If I met George Lucas I'd like to...
...ask him who'd win in a fight between Kirk and Picard.
(Kushan just wants to fit in..to your mum, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 12:58, archived)
# If I met George Lucas I'd like to
milk his bazookas.
(I helped save b3ta! account88888 former cynic, converted to kindness, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 18:45, archived)
# Ask him for money.
done.
(I helped save b3ta! Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Sun 11 Mar 2012, 23:35, archived)
# If I met George Lucas I'd like to...
...ask if his goitre is some kind of defence against Darth Vader's remote choking trick.

...point at his goitre and say "That's no moon."

...ask him to do a bullfrog impression.
(I helped save b3ta! Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Mon 12 Mar 2012, 18:49, archived)
# ...meet someone with talent instead.
That is all.
(I helped save b3ta! Tepid_Halibut felt like a cold, empty shell of a human...until, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 22:40, archived)
# "If I met George Lucas I'd like to....
...enquire about the listing he has on craigslist for the used Braun CruZer3 3-in-1 Foil Rechargeable Shaver with Beard Trimmer Attachment."
(durtydriscoll, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 2:21, archived)
# Ride to the ridge where the west commences,
Gaze at the moon until I loose my senses,
I can't look at hobbles and I can't stand fences,
Sorry, what was the question again?
(uya, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 6:06, archived)
# "If I met George Lucas I'd like to...."
Ask him to remake all the star wars films with Darth Vader playing EVERY character. :)
(Mairuu, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 7:49, archived)
# have a free tshirt please Rob
Is it Batman wearing a dildo helmet?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:43, archived)
# lick his ewok.
Or is it a wookie? I can't be sure without taking a closer look.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 17:42, archived)
#
Ask him if he's ever cracked one off to Leia in her gold bikini like the rest of us. The dirty fella.
(Danko, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 22:24, archived)
# Why he killed the koi in Sydney.
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 22:57, archived)