b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » XXX » Message 9693611 (Thread)

# Cyanide & Happiness interview
Dave from Cyanide & Happiness / Explosm has got in touch and we've decided to do an interview.

If you're not sure who I'm on about (and I doubt it but there's always one) here's an example:



ADD YOUR QUESTIONS TO THIS THREAD:
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:34, archived)
# Could you please express your love for noodles in the form of a limerick?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:35, archived)
# super noodles
I cooked a noodle in my wock
and hung it from my massive cock
The Chinese whitegoods staff induction
Demonstrated proper suction
Holding with a long chopstick
my dripping noodle hoi sin dick

Fin.

(Corbo, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:26, archived)
# My effort
I once ate a portion of noodles
In fact I had oodles and oodles
I asked "what's this topping
that stops me from stopping?"
The Thai man replied "that's the poodles"
(I helped save b3ta! JebediahSpringfield, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 10:37, archived)
# I...
laughed.
(Ladyfingers is in your wardrobe,, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 16:14, archived)
#
I bought a Pot Noodle™ from Asda
The woman who served me, I gassed her,
I took the meal home,
Then got on the phone,
And called everyone in Basra... (to tell them how much I love Pot Noodles™)
(I helped save b3ta! mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:00, archived)
# How many times have you gone to take a shit and then wound up spewing all over your dick?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:38, archived)
# have you ever filled a taco shell with bulgogi so you could eat bulgacos?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:39, archived)
# What would you do if there was a murder?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:40, archived)
# What is your favourite genre of reality TV show?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:41, archived)
# How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could cut of erect phallus's and throw them?
(I helped save b3ta! keo COCKS COCKS COCKS, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:41, archived)
# Would you encourage people to aim for the moon or aim for the stars? Why?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:42, archived)
# On Super Mario Bros on the NES, how do I get to the warp zone on level 1-2?
*edit* and bonus question for Rob: when is the next icon set due? :D
*edit2* ningles everyone!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:42, archived)
# oh come on
everyone knows that!

well, every nerd like me
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:57, archived)
#
Do you ever do a comic then think "No, we've gone too far this time..."?
(npfiii, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:43, archived)
# I turned 30 10 days ago. Could you please wish me a happy birthday?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:43, archived)
# Could you please tell my friend that washing a cd under tap water is a better idea than blowing in the disk drive?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:44, archived)
# Were I goes shoe dog bark wi?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:44, archived)
# LET'S LOVE NOW, SUGAR
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:44, archived)
# Who are you and should I call the Police?
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:45, archived)
# What's the best tape to use when sticking two cats together, or would you use glue?
(I helped save b3ta! Kris Fucking Kristofferson, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:45, archived)
# Where do you get your ideas from?
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:45, archived)
# Why are people so unkind?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:47, archived)
# Kamahl? Is that you?
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 10:45, archived)
# If you squeezed one of the c&h characters would their insides pour out like toothpaste from a tube or do they have normal biology but are strapped into a tube shape?

(I helped save b3ta! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:47, archived)
# How should I fight the terrorists?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:48, archived)
# are you bringing sexy back?
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:49, archived)
# What are your thoughts on this subject?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:50, archived)
# I AM LIKING YOUR CARTOONS
WILL I GO TO HELL?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:50, archived)
# Please finish this sentence:
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:50, archived)
# Was it racist when Mickey Rooney pretended to be Japanese in Breakfast at Tiffanys?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:50, archived)
# are you getting bored of gronkpan's questions yet?
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:51, archived)
# Do you know that Patrick Swayze has died?
(I helped save b3ta! Kris Fucking Kristofferson, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:53, archived)
# Is gronkpan going to be b&?
Or will you just settle for the naughty step?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:54, archived)
# Would you rather live without a sense of humour or without either leg or thumb? Probably missing a kidney too actually.
(I helped save b3ta! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:54, archived)
# Please explain in 12 words or less why this is the best interview anyone has ever done
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:54, archived)
# what would you call the movie all about your life
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:56, archived)
# I have never seen the web comic "Cyanide & Happiness" before. What incentive are you offering me to read it?
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:56, archived)
# I'm not alone, then.
Phew.

Close one.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:23, archived)
# Please describe in 3 words the most life changing moment you've experienced
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:56, archived)
# read my lips
total rectal prolapse
(Corbo, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:32, archived)
# Do you have a list of rules so you all draw similar things or did you just already have a law-suit inducingly similar style to begin with, so decided to make the most of it and team up?
(I helped save b3ta! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:56, archived)
# Who had what written on whose what?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 8:57, archived)
# Would you prefer rough anal sex with Bill O'Rielly or Glen Beck? You have to choose one.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:00, archived)
# What is the worst thing you've ever been accused of? Was it true?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:02, archived)
# What's your favourite strip ever and what other comics do you enjoy?
/posted on behalf of Professor Kenny Martin
(I helped save b3ta! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:02, archived)
# What did the owners of that restaurant say when you did a shit in their urinals?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:02, archived)
# How many pillows can you hold?
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:03, archived)
# Do you remember that barbecue when Auntie Nora fell in the swimming pool?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:03, archived)
# If you could ask gronkpan and infinite number of questions, what would they be?
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:04, archived)
# have you ever, ever felt like this?
Are strange things happening, are we going 'round the twist?
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:05, archived)
# Solve the worlds problems in 10 words or less

(I helped save b3ta! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:06, archived)
# Excavation: Are you for or against?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:06, archived)
# Can you please send me some money?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:08, archived)
# do your family know about your work, and if so what do they think?
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:08, archived)
# Do you know anyone who is half human, half potato?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:08, archived)
# Do you know the way to San Jose?
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:10, archived)
# why must the innocent suffer?
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:10, archived)
# Is it true what they said about you in Hello! magazine last month?

(I helped save b3ta! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:11, archived)
# Does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch?
(I helped save b3ta! Kris Fucking Kristofferson, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:12, archived)
# If there was an infinite number of bowling balls
and for every 9 black bowling balls there was a red one, would there be more black bowling balls than red ones?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:12, archived)
# Why do I find myself tapping my feet to the godawful music that my neighbours are playing?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:14, archived)
# please post pics
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:16, archived)
# What is your favourite kind of tree?
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:19, archived)
# What websites do you hate the most?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:21, archived)
# who would win ina fight, an antagonistic snail or a lethargic slug? (it would be to the death)
(theswollenbeef where there's a will there's a wank, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:23, archived)
# the snail - it has a shell and the slug doesn't give a fuck
Don't waste the guy's time with pointless questions.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:25, archived)
# Do you have forfeits if you don't have a comic ready when it's your turn? You should. I could help you get started...
I'm really good with a whip.
(I helped save b3ta! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:31, archived)
# .
How much sleep do you get a night?

Do you make a living out of comics? If not, what is your day job and does your boss know about C&H?

If you could kill someone if it made someone else live twice as long, who would you kill and who would you give their lifespan to?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:38, archived)
# If a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush and killing 2 birds with 1 stone is a possibility, then would we be better off with 1 stone in our hand, waiting by the bush?
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:44, archived)
# How do they make Wine Gums soft,
and Fruit Gums hard?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:47, archived)
# Agar
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 10:02, archived)
# Science is what we Dream of, Technology is what we get stuck with
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:47, archived)
# Will you start posting on b3ta when you get your next comic?
Pleeeeeaaaaaaassssseeeee :-D
(I helped save b3ta! Hellzapoppin, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 9:54, archived)
# zombie jesus keeps following me around: how do i kill him?
or: what's your favourite webcomic?
(I helped save b3ta! Hol[]y - WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 10:08, archived)
# .....
Will you ever bring back the purple-shirted eye stabber? I'm jonesing for a hit of the opthalimic peeper pricker so much that I'm staring at one of my purple shirts right now....
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Tue 15 Sep 2009, 10:15, archived)
# Any plans for more animation?
The last one was ace.
(I helped save b3ta! Letum Your Ad here £2.40, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 10:32, archived)
# Michael Ironside or Kurtwood Smith?
(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 10:34, archived)
# Cyanide or Happiness, Which would my girlfriend like up the arse more?
(Adaminho, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 11:15, archived)
# Depends in which order they're administered.
(I helped save b3ta! Grampa, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 1:12, archived)
# Can you actually draw or do stickmen represent the pinnacle of your artistic abilities?
I can draw. You can touch me if you like.
(I helped save b3ta! dotmund .co.uk, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 12:36, archived)
# That's not a Dave comic, is it?
I like Dave's ones the best and they fill me full of happiness. They have the right amount of sheer joy and naughtyism, but some of the others are a bit crass. If it were me I would put Dave on a pedestal and feed him right up and get him to draw me something every day and if I was happy he could have a rest and if not then he could draw me another. Whilst this was happening I would get Kris to try and approximate it in comic form. He is my other favourite. I could easily chop and change between them for the aforementioned scenario.

They all make me sick because they're younger than me. Kris and me share a birthday. How do they make a living?
(mr_chopper pluggin' up yo' plopper, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 12:39, archived)
# Yellow and green
or yellow and blue ?
(danceswithferrets is leaking sanity, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 12:48, archived)
# You seem like the right person to know this.
What is the best way to deal with the Israel/Palestine situation?
(MrTeapot hasn't played with himself since, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:07, archived)
# Do you ever stop for a moment and think 'fuck me, this is what I do for a living'?
If so, how many times a week do you call up your career counsellor to remind him?
(FoxyBadger (try saying it backwards), Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:08, archived)
# Dave?
How come you and kris are the only funny ones?

Actually, sometimes rob is funny, let me rephrase that

Why isn't matt funny? Is he an actual mat that's been gifted with a rudimentary ability to use a graphics tablet?



Also, I bought Kris' book, are you going to bring one out?
Did you already bring one out and I just wasn't paying attention?


I didn't make that gif especially, I just happened to have it lying around for just such an occasion
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:09, archived)
# I never usually reply to these requests for questions, as all they ever seem to generate is inane questions, such as "Daddy or Chips?". I believe that more thoughtful questions can truly reveal hidden aspects of an interviewee. So with this in mind:





Is it true that you can't get quicker than a Kwik-Fit™ fitter?
(I helped save b3ta! mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:49, archived)
# Chips.
(I helped save b3ta! sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 16:02, archived)
# If your comics were in a newspaper,
which newspaper would it be? And don't lie and say New York Times.
(I helped save b3ta! Christian Bale of Hay in a field, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:26, archived)
# What would you do at Paul's house?
(I helped save b3ta! mrlogic is copying your beard, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:55, archived)
# There's a man outside my door wearing a purple shirt
Should I be alarmed?
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 15:05, archived)
# What is the difference
between a duck?
(Essence of Wombat, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 16:57, archived)
# One of its legs are both the same.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 22:03, archived)
# Could you take the bloke who writes XKCD in a fight?
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 18:25, archived)
# Cyanide or happiness?
 
(I helped save b3ta! El Cid ...wing attack plan R..., Tue 15 Sep 2009, 18:54, archived)
# How did you come across b3ta?
(I helped save b3ta! willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 19:09, archived)
# with difficulty
and mainly using Jolly Jack's pics.
(I helped save b3ta! Peregr1n @peregr1n, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 20:20, archived)
# Have any of the comics occurred in real life? If so, which one(s)?
(Brain Licker Follow me, I'm right behind you., Tue 15 Sep 2009, 20:08, archived)
# Do you ever draw female characters with big tits to masturbate to?
Or doesn't it work very well with stick figures?
(I helped save b3ta! Peregr1n @peregr1n, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 20:20, archived)
# it's been a while since there's been any Squeezing going on
any plans to squeeze again?
(Ant's in his pants, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 20:41, archived)
# How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
(I helped save b3ta! St. Defenestration The REAL one, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 20:58, archived)
# how edgy do you think these cartoons will seem to hip youngsters in 2030?
and what will be the Cyanide and Happiness of the next generation?

question kind of applies to the whole of b3ta, which hopefully will be still going then...
(I helped save b3ta! revmoola was thinking about a software problem, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 21:15, archived)
# read more books
(I helped save b3ta! d d, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 23:07, archived)
# Do you ever get writer's block?
If so, what medications would you reccomend?
(emuman cant afford PS so he beats MSPaint into submission, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 0:49, archived)
# I could probably find this out after twenty seconds on Google
but why "Cyanide and Happiness?"
(I helped save b3ta! AgentMuu hentai coordination, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 4:25, archived)
# I was talking abotu xkcd in the office the other day, and the guy next to me said "I prefer Cyanide and Happiness"
I then started on about Strindberg and Helium, we got talking Salad Fingers and I said he's probably enjoy A Softer World.

I forget what the original question was, but as a substitute, I loved Waiting For The Bus so which celebrity guest voices would you like to star in Cyanide and Happiness: The Animated Series?
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 9:40, archived)
# Stickmen can't wear long trousers
Discuss
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 10:49, archived)
# Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 13:23, archived)
# Why is this?
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 16 Sep 2009, 19:26, archived)
# Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite... would you like a toasted teacake?
(I helped save b3ta! weaver., Thu 17 Sep 2009, 11:50, archived)
# Hook Hands or Peg Legs?
Who would win, B3ta or C+H in a battle of who could stoop the lowest?
(I helped save b3ta! unsey a frizzy haired fruit since, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 13:02, archived)
# What you rather bee or a wasp?
...sorry
(nikkibic is like a candle in the wind... unreliable, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 20:01, archived)
# are you my mummy?
(flibblesan saw your mums cock, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 23:48, archived)
# If you had to have sex with a tree, what type of tree would you have sex with?

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 16:50, archived)
# How come only one of you makes worthwhile comics?
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Sat 19 Sep 2009, 19:24, archived)
# What happened to your past website 'sticksuicide'?
What made you decide to start making mainly comics rather than flash?
(I helped save b3ta! Scrambled Edd www.eddsworld.co.uk, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 13:56, archived)