comments please
i was texting my friend last night, and she was all upset because some match.com weirdo had just done a disappearing act after 3 dates. i was trying to cheer her up by asking her why she was bothered about someone who was never really in her league, blah blah. anyway, she finally came out with this little nugget:

"it's the INTERNET. it provides a safe space for the socially retarded to interact with others who wouldn't normally give them the time of day."

thoughts, comments, amusing additions?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:02, 207 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

WOO! and YAY!.
First woo and yay of the day is always the best. Watch it folks. I'm feeling frisky today.

What first of the day is best for you?
( girlinthehole, Thu 12 May 2011, 8:25, 105 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

London B3tans
I need overnight accommodation near Farringdon for a group of five. Any suggestions? The cheaper the better.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 May 2011, 22:24, 13 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

earthquake
blimey, that italian dude wasn't a million miles out with his prediction after all...

uk.news.yahoo.com/four-dead-spanish-quake-181416888.html
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 21:13, 69 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm here. Where are you?
I'm in a good mood, let's not waste this moment.
( girlinthehole, Wed 11 May 2011, 19:30, 114 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Burning shame or Bitter Jealousy?
Which is preferable? Why? Perhaps you've experienced one or both recently. Tell Uncle Happybara all about it.

Alt Q. Let us pretend for a moment that an IQ test provides an accurate reflection of a human-being's all-round intelligence. How many IQ points would you be prepared to drop, if each point rewarded you with an extra year's life?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:29, 69 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I just saw an advert for "HM Solicitors"...
... who are one of these NoWinNoFee solicitors, who are giving away iPads to cases they take on. I know the inner workings of one of these companies, they're no more than a call-centre who pass details from A onto B. The one I know doesn't have a single person inside the company with a single law based qualification. They spin things out, juice them up, whatever it takes to make the case look take-on-able to the lawyer... that's why they're a dime-a-dozen.

And this one is aiming at kids.... www.kidzclaimz.com/

Anyone else think these companies are, not all, but in general, scum?

www.hmsolicitors.co.uk/serious_injury/ipad_terms_and_conditions
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 16:22, 88 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ahha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha aha *BREATHE*
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ahha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8069686.stm

Best BBC link EVA!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 15:07, 226 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

12 minutes without a new thread or post?
Offtopic, you sadden me. We have done lunch and stuff this week so where is anyone off on holiday?

ALT: Strangest thing you can see right now
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 May 2011, 13:43, 27 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Italians are they stupid
or just lazy?
You decide.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13354988

I quite like them.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 May 2011, 12:37, 142 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

is it time yet
for the lunch thread?
I have some rather fantastic cheese - Black Bomber - which is just about to be devoured in one sitting with crackers and pickle type things
What is the best cheese in the world and why?

Alt Q: Can I have a job please, I'm bored.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 11 May 2011, 11:42, 102 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Shitty!
Personally I think it's very brave of Kroney to admit to being a Dusseldorf shit-mag collector and general Oaten-style poo connoisseur. It takes a lot of guts - guts not unlike those required to produce the gigantic, reeking stools in which he rolls around on a nightly basis.

Not that it came as anything of a surprise, of course. I always thought he was a bit creepy. You know when you just think 'I bet that blokes into shit-mags and space-docking'.

QUESTION: you have to choose between being wheelchair-bound for life or having a really strong Birmingham accent. What do you do? By the way, taking the coward's way out and killing yourself with high explosive is not an option. CHOOSE WISELY.

Alt: Ever drunk Buckfast? What's it like?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:04, 147 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Kitty!
b3ta.com/board/10417480

Morning Oaties, what does your day hold? Sadly mine does not feature an extra couple of hours of sleep, but I'm sure I'll manage since I'm planning to take the afternoon off.

Alt: What piece of your furniture do you most like and which do you hate? I like my bed and currently hate my wardrobe since the pole is knackered and I have to disassemble most of it to fix it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 May 2011, 7:59, 177 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Annoying habits of humans.
1. Chewing with your mouth open and sounding like a horse crunching on a carrot. GROSS. It makes me gag.
2. Slurping the very last bit of liquid from your cup, or at least trying to.
3. Saying "Aaahhh" after number 2.

State your pet hates.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 10 May 2011, 20:58, 201 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Favorite online sounds
or create a new one. My personal favorite is Fnarr, Fnarr.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Tue 10 May 2011, 17:45, 64 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Kroney wants a new thread but he's too shy to start one so I have to do it.
Tell everyone why you think Kroney has the faint whiff of lavender about him.

Alt: TURKISH BANQUETS. Do you like them? Have you ever had one? Are you some kind of fucking idiot?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 15:47, 242 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hey Gonz, GONZ
This is a new thread Gonz. Hello? No, he's not looking.

Favourite meme? Or something else. Whatever.
( Kroney, Tue 10 May 2011, 14:18, 266 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've been daydreaming.
I've decided that when my dad sells the business I'm going to go travelling the world having adventures and then settle down in Cumbria or the north west of Scotland. Get a dog and paint.

What are your plans for the future?
( girlinthehole, Tue 10 May 2011, 13:01, 223 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What was the last* 'single' you purchased.
7" or download.

And when did you last buy the number one chart single.

Alt: Early lunch discussion.

*Or even your first ever single
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 11:53, 125 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Read this and then read my hilarious reply about it.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13343348
(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 May 2011, 11:10, 28 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

'Science makes you fly to the moon. Religion makes you fly into buildings'
What great quotes have you heard recently?
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Tue 10 May 2011, 9:33, 216 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Mornin'
I am on a new health drive. Well, a drive that preferably means I am not slowly killing myself.

This means bran products for breakfast and not grilled or fried pork products. Is bran the worst breakfast ever?

Alt: Weight loss tips that involve no effort or sacrifice?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 May 2011, 8:21, 66 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Dogfucker wants me to start a new thread
I'm not very sober. Will this do?

When did you last do something you either did or didn't do the same thing before?

And why?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 9 May 2011, 22:00, 20 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Seems to be a problem with calender on B3ta.
When I booked my bash I put the Saturday 28th but when I save it it shows the 29th. Can I confirm it's the 28th. Crow has just brought this to my attention. I never noticed it before.
( girlinthehole, Mon 9 May 2011, 18:59, 158 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

OMG! Double rainbow!
there really is. I can see it, looks like the pot of gold is in port talbot, though, which seems unlikely.

I like storms and rainbows, what do you like?

My guinea pigs just got a mention on 6music!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 9 May 2011, 18:42, 43 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The "new" me is boring me
Tell me something I didn't know about yourself: a party trick or skill, crime you committed, perversion you secretly love or unrequited love that has passed you by.

ALT: SAUSAGES! I like Lincolnshire or Cumberland, whish is odd as we all know that the North is shit.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 May 2011, 16:23, 160 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hey Otters
How's tricks?

Here's something the lolfatties will love, I've managed to make a chocolate cupcake case, so now instead of having to waste precious seconds and energy peeling off a paper case you can just stuff the whole lot in your mouth.

However, the case I made of chocolate looked so much like the case I had used as the template that I accidentally threw it into a bowl of hot washing up water.

Tell me of your acts of utter retardation that have astounded even you. Retardation is totally a word, shut up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:47, 230 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

FUCK YEAH !!! Today's shaping up to be an awesome day.
I told you it was gonna be an awesome week, and it's only just started basicly.

Tell me, what is going to make YOUR week awesome?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 May 2011, 13:16, 154 replies, latest was 15 years ago)