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I JUST SHAGGED THE FITTEST STRIPPER

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SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 15 May 2009, 6:07, archived)

At a reasonable price?

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 6:08, archived)

Don't answer that yet, I'm just going to get some Fruit & Fibre©.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 6:08, archived)

OK I'm back with my Fruit & Fibre©
I probably gave myself too big a bowl of Fruit and Fibre© but that's just something I'll have to deal with.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 6:12, archived)

I hate it when I put too much milk on my cereal and I like finish the cereal and there's still a load of milk left and it's like woah, should I pour this away or drink it and I usually drink it then feel a bit sick because it's too much milk really

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 6:14, archived)

That reminds me of this time I went out with an umbrella and it didn't rain so the next day I didn't take and umbrella but it rained.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 6:15, archived)

once I totally left my bag on a bus and I like ran after the bus but it was ok because someone noticed my bag was on the seat and like totally told the driver to like stop the bus and shit

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 6:18, archived)

is he still in the room
ask him how i rates you (scale 1 to 10)
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 15 May 2009, 6:10, archived)

I've been up all night fixing WORK ERRORS.
I'd go so far as to say that I have single handedly saved thousands of jobs in the UK.
Well done me.

Now everybody fall out with me at high speed.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 5:41, archived)

I bet you stayed up watching repeats of Trisha with your dole mates from the dole office
and I bet they're all bald too
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:43, archived)

see? you're hear two minutes and already I'm upset

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:45, archived)

img149.imageshack.us/img149/6873/jmgdole.jpg
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 5:46, archived)

That's bound to upset somebody.

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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 5:46, archived)

Now I have to travel to the OTHER OFFICE.
Good Morning Fatties. etc.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 5:52, archived)

that's not fair, you should be allowed to sign on at the nearest dole office

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:54, archived)

We took a trip to B******* where we decided we'd bomb ************'s house.
The internet's just THAT SERIOUS.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 5:45, archived)

Butlins?

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:47, archived)

There's redcoats at Butlins.
Mr. Wimpy also wears a red coat.
The links here are UNDENIABLE.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 5:49, archived)

I don't know what this means but you can rest assured I'm furious about it already

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:47, archived)

I've actually put JMG on block.
However, I just wish to raise this point once more. So he can see.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 5:49, archived)

holy what the christ is this about
www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=127508
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 6:03, archived)

That's the biggest camel toe I've ever seen.
I never thought I'd say that and be talking about a man.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 6:04, archived)

fat people should be shot

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 6:12, archived)

So, erm.
I'm gonna go to bed now.

I have a final exam at 2. I was meant to revise. I spent all night playing games.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:44, archived)

That was pretty silly of you Karl.
Posting things tonight.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:46, archived)

you know what, I'm going to book myself a dental appointment

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:55, archived)

That's the spirit.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:57, archived)

and I've got a set of allen keys on my desk
biggest is 6mm

they're held together with a bit of orange plastic that they sort of snap into, it's way kewl
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:59, archived)

I don't know what to say to this.
Still posting things tonight though.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:07, archived)

how's the dissertation coming along?

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:10, archived)

It's all done.
Oh wow such a huge relief.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:13, archived)

I was so tense and worried
I actually stopped menstruating for a while
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:14, archived)

also, this
b3ta.com/questions/bullies/post422540
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:20, archived)

What a card.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:23, archived)

and
b3ta.com/board/9447979
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:26, archived)

Stick thin kids with big hair.
Bit of a left-field one there. Did not expect to see that at all.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:27, archived)

no, WAIT!
b3ta.com/board/9441075

that's just genius
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:28, archived)

I like the way they can touch their knees without bending over at all.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:33, archived)

Pffffft.

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TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:34, archived)

if people knew how little I care about their fucking exams and disser-fucking-tations they probably wouldn't bother telling me
get a job you fucking hippy
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:53, archived)

I'm sorry, we've been selfish.
How is your life Frank?
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TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:36, archived)

mehhhhh
just, y'know, stuff

there's other stuff but I'm doing my usual trick of not telling the internet about that
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 5:42, archived)

Wow I'm just really in the mood for posting things tonight.
I'm going to carry on posting things tonight.
This is going to be fun. Posting things tonight.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:13, archived)

Hello.
Does anyone know if there's a b3ta user list?
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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:15, archived)

Yes, I know.

(MooCow_Byter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:15, archived)

yes
there is

b3ta.com/board/users.php

don't expect it to load very fast though
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:16, archived)

Thanks :)

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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:18, archived)

Oh, it didn't work.
Thanks anywa.
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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:18, archived)

Don't thank him for linking to a 404.
He probably did it on purpose. Get angry. Say some rude words in caps. Call him names.

That's the proper, reasonable reaction.
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:20, archived)

I'm sure that was the URL
maybe it's been deleted, bringing back 80,000 records must chug the database a bit
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:24, archived)

Yeah, I think you're right.
It was either that or b3ta.com/board/users/, and that 404s too.
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:25, archived)

There's this:
www.b3ta.com/users/

It's not what anyone's looking for but I just can't stop posting things tonight.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:27, archived)

YOU SUCK ASS

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:30, archived)

I totally don't care cause I'm happy as long as I'm posting.
www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/C/comedy_standups/results/results.html

100 greatest stand-ups as voted for by some SPASTICS. I was just looking at this and though it'd make good posting material, seeing as how I just can't stop posting things tonight.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:31, archived)

I like lists of things as voted for by people who don't know what they're talking about
post more of those

all standup comedy is shit LOLOPINION
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:37, archived)

Posting here.
www.empireonline.com/100-greatest-movie-characters/default.asp?c=1
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:40, archived)

might get a cup of coffee about now

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:42, archived)

After flossing?
OMGORMOM!¬
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:47, archived)

it was an impulse floss
I think there was a bit of bacon or fried egg back behind the second upper left molar

I totally flicked it and it stuck to the wall. That's how cool I am.
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:52, archived)

I've just trumped.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:53, archived)

It smells a bit like pickled onion monster munch.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:55, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/3031308
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:26, archived)

you don't need to thank me, just seeing Arsenal's name on the UEFA cup will be my reward

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:21, archived)

~~UEFA cup~~

Europa League

And right now, I'd be happy to win it. Any trophy will do right now.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:23, archived)

news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/women/8032660.stm
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:29, archived)

Needs more men.

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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:33, archived)

Clicking this cause it makes you sound like a woofter.
Telling you I'm clicking this cause I can't stop posting things tonight.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:36, archived)

this is probably a good time to mention that I just flossed my teeth

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:39, archived)

I don't know but I'm typing anyway.
I just can't stop my fingers from typing and posting things tonight.
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:17, archived)

Whoa, slow down there sonny.
You'll do yourself a mischief, typing away like that!
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:19, archived)

totally typing a reply about now
like, totally posting it right fucking under your post
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:19, archived)

Maddie joke or GTFO

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:18, archived)

What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Madeleine McCann jokes?
Madeleine McCann jokes will get old.

LOLD
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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:21, archived)

i got rejected from hotornot.com
they took no offense at the fact that i listed my likes and interests as 'misogyny, midget rodeos, naked photos of your mother, hog-tied chicks with big-ass titties, and catfish noodling in the nude'
the bit they didn't like?

my photo. which was just a normal pic of me.

FML.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:43, archived)

BRILLIANT.
BE SURE TO STICK YOUR HEAD IN THE NOOSE ON YOUR WAY OUT.
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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:46, archived)

is there a reward, in the form of bacon?
if so, i'm in.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:48, archived)

Just get out.
Never darken /talk again.
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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:49, archived)

pffft.
darkening /talk would be like trying to make butlins shittier :D
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:50, archived)

What, very easy?

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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:52, archived)

anyone would think you bedwetters didn't want people to talk to :D
is this a the people who hate other people society?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:56, archived)

No, this is the "Your post is shit" society.

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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:59, archived)

it's a buyer's market and we're overstocked with shit people right now
but we'll keep your CV on record and contact you if Master of Turnips flounces
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:00, archived)

i also do a good line in wacky & zany lolpwnage
i hear the internet is new ground for this sort of thing...
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:02, archived)

I remember you, you're the bloke that had his bike nicked
haha

no bike
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:04, archived)

i'm about to get it back off the cops
they take an age to process things! motherfuckers. i even located it and got a name for the thief and still i have to wait. it's been in their storeroom for 9 weeks now! bastards.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:06, archived)

haha
no bike
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:07, archived)

What a no biked fuck face.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:11, archived)

i know, right?
apart from the other bike... but we won't talk about that
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:12, archived)

If I didn't have a bike and people were picking on me, I'd pretend I had another bike too.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:13, archived)

i will bear that in mind
while riding my bike :D
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:14, archived)

tell us another Maddie joke, that always brings the house down

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:15, archived)

posting words on the internet is exciting!

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:47, archived)

I'M GETTING A RUSH RIGHT NOW

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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:47, archived)

it is
thanks for participating
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:50, archived)

I hear that drowning in one's own vomit is pretty fun.
All the cool kids are doing it.
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:51, archived)

I'm hard core, I use other people's vomit

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 3:57, archived)

I sincerely hope you bounce back from this.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:03, archived)

me too
i'm fuckin devastated. i haven't cried this much since jade goody died. i might have to go and email some people to pretend i saw maddie, that should cheer me up a little. tell em i saw her in a krispy kreme in reading lickin a cinnamon ring :D
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:04, archived)

You're shit.
The door's over there.
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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:06, archived)

loljade
roflmaddie

topical
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:07, archived)

I'll be glad when 4chan's back up and the shit people fuck off for a while

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:05, archived)

while i have heard of it
i'm not from there. i was here before i was anywhere else on the net.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:06, archived)

I seriously doubt that.

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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:08, archived)

ok, i had a hotmail account, which i registered with. that was IT. check my join date bitch.
i usually post on open jam.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:11, archived)

I couldn't give a flying fuck about your join date.

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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:12, archived)

You only discovered the internet 3 years, 7 months and 5 days ago?
Get with the times, man. I have pirated mp3s that are probably twice that old.
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:13, archived)

is that when it says i joined?
shit. maybe i had another login before? it was probably more like 6 years with a long gap while i was in jail.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:15, archived)

Whatever.
Noob.
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:17, archived)

seriously, stop trying so hard
you just come across as a spastic
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:10, archived)

internet tough guy says what?
eh?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:13, archived)

oh dear

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:14, archived)

I can't remeber what he said verbatim but it was something about not trying so hard and not having a bike.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 15 May 2009, 4:14, archived)

I like Lady Gaga.
Who do you like that people tell you off for liking?
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WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:55, archived)

Hitler

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Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:57, archived)

I think this is relevant
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Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:07, archived)

Your /b/ is showing.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:08, archived)

*zips*
Ta.
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Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:08, archived)

Is 4chan working for you?
It seems down here.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:23, archived)

I mean /b/ of course - the rest works ok...

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:23, archived)

It's been on & off the past couple of days
status.4chan.org should say all.
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Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:27, archived)

bleh, DDoS.

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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:36, archived)

Probably anontalk.com
There's still a massive 'cold war' between the two.
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Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:48, archived)

It just about sums everything here up.

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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 15 May 2009, 2:08, archived)

Pedobear ᵒᴥᵒ
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:59, archived)

All of the Jews.

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Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:59, archived)

Jeremy Clarkson.
His books are excellent.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:01, archived)

everyone has a go at that Robert Mugabe
but the last I heard, nearly everyone in Zimbabwe was a multi-millionaire so he can't be all bad
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:01, archived)

BILLIONAIRE
He's fucking class, Bob Mugabe.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:08, archived)

Nothing
My mother in law died less than 2 hours ago and I am on the internet telling people I don't fucking know about it.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:01, archived)

This is a sad thing :(

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:02, archived)

You know what everything can just fuck off

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Mrs Sp@m, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:02, archived)

Would you like an internet hug and a picture of some kittens?

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:03, archived)

Yes, a cat video.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ne3L99fjhyo&feature=channel_page

But it's LOVELY!
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:04, archived)

Cats!
n3t.net/humor/motivation/charitability.jpg
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:06, archived)

Fucking kittens can fuck off
I am angry, why her she was only 61 and came back from rhodes yesterday and was healthy as fuck
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:06, archived)

:(

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:07, archived)

I know a link that will probably cheer you right up.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:09, archived)

is it a live feed link of someone resurrecting my mother in law ?
if not it can fuck off.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:10, archived)

No.
TFD didn't think much of it earlier either.

www.b3ta.com/talk/6149916
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:11, archived)

Don't fucking click anything he fucking posts.
If you've got the rage now this will take you up to smashing stage... it made me almost cry because I lost some of my dissertation.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:12, archived)

Super smashing great?

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:13, archived)

I'm clicking nothing
I'm not in the mood for cheering up.

I wish I had cigs and I wish I could sleep
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:20, archived)

Would you react badly with alcohol?
A glass of wine would help you sleep, but it might make you feel worse.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:34, archived)

I'm overdosing on gin so all is well

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:37, archived)

all the best
my best mate said something about my dad tonight and i just started crying
it's been 3 yrs now.. FUCK
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 15 May 2009, 3:03, archived)

I suppose you did at least say it was last measure.
Bit harsh, though.

Disallow Javascript except by whitelisting, kids!
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:44, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6149857
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:03, archived)

It's okay my love.
It's good to vent, sometimes telling people you don't know is easier.

I hope you feel alright and that your family are okay.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:07, archived)

I just want to go downstairs and cry my eyes out on my hubbys shoulder but I can't
because he's been stuck with folk all day and needs a bit of peace plus I need to stay very strong for him.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:09, archived)

I'm sure he would understand. But I know what you mean.
But you don't have to be strong on here, you can shout and cry and scream as much as you like lovely lady.

b3ta.com: Where everything is allowed!
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:10, archived)

Everything?
HURRAH!

randomn.es/images/f998753a7d89d0c874572f760a9a72dd.jpg

NSFW
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:12, archived)

I'm not clicking any more of your sodding links you cock-fingered fuckwit.

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TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:13, archived)

hehe, cock fingers.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:14, archived)

Lady Vengence

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 15 May 2009, 2:56, archived)

Bon Jovi

(

Jinxy13 is hating the S key, right about now., Fri 15 May 2009, 3:37, archived)

help!
a while ago for a qotw someone put up some facebook script that showed your own profile picture, mead me jump. does anyone have the link to that post, or knows which qotw it was?
(papa bouba slap your face, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:29, archived)

I can help

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

FUCK OFF

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

i'd love to help

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

ELBOW OR GTFO

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

*sings*
"drinking in the morning sun"
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

.
help, please. honestly this place is like a watered-down /b/
(papa bouba slap your face, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:31, archived)

BLACK PEOPLE

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

CALL FOR /b/LACKUP!

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:33, archived)

NO WOMEN ON THE INTERNETS

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

*drives truck into you*

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:35, archived)

Most of us aren't QOTW people.
Go to QOTW Off topic, they can help.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:33, archived)

You see,
I'm very helpful.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:33, archived)

Learn how the reply system works
Also, I like /b/ - it allows me to be LOLRACIST with no repercussions.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:33, archived)

yes

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

I agree with your point of view

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

You
yudhi14.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/image002.gif
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

ELBOWS

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

Syncubus Goes to Bollywood!

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

hehe

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

.
if you have the link, please post it, thanks
(papa bouba slap your face, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:33, archived)

FOBT4CHAN

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

I don't think anyone here has the link.
Ask off topic like what he said up there.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

OH HERE YOU GO
www.b3ta.com/questions/fakingit/post199332
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

.
thank you
(papa bouba slap your face, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

You're very welcome.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

Wow, you are helpful
It doesn't seem to work though.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

There's a copy here:
scriptheaven.on.nimp.org/
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:40, archived)

It's ok, here, as a last measure:
halflife2.zoy.org/

Ignore this lot, they're grumpy!
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:38, archived)

What?

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:41, archived)

I clicked the other one too,
I don't learn.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:42, archived)

Oh dear.
I am sorry, it got me the other day. I'm not always fully up to date on all the mirrors of it, so a few get through the firewall.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:46, archived)

You fucking shit.
I clicked that out of curiosity and it completely fucked my computer.

I had to do a full reboot and I was in the middle of writing my dissertation.
Cunt.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:56, archived)

*foams*

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 2:00, archived)

Oh dear, they're all cross with you now.
I say make this next week's question on QOTW, it's better than some they've had lately.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

You people. Coming on here, asking us questions, demanding answers.
You didn't even butter us up by saying hello. You shower of shite.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

You can't do that since Facebook updated a while ago.
And you're a CUNT, obviously.
(

zoldergoose, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/facebook/post422596
(__, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:38, archived)

You can tell it's almost my bedtime, I wasn't even fucking suspicious when I clicked that.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:39, archived)

I'm sure someone will report me

(__, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:39, archived)

It's harmless, family orientated fun.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:41, archived)

Tell b3tard that :(

(__, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:50, archived)

Apparently, things are happening on the internet.
BATTLESTATIONS.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:55, archived)

Can you find a more awesome beard?
www.90nz0.com/talker/board.php

Yes, it's Let's Gay Up Gonzo's Board time again.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:27, archived)

ZZ Top

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:29, archived)

That looks amazingly gay

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

I posted another just for you.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

I have a beard
But not a LOLWACKYBEARD that scares away women.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

SHOW US YER ELBOWS
www.cr3static.com/data/jpg/6508.photo0063.jpg
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:15, archived)

I cannot be arsed in the slightest

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:16, archived)

Also, posters are gay

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:16, archived)

They distract me from the beige walls

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:17, archived)

Paint them a different colour, tit

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:18, archived)

It's a uni room.
Besides, I'm moving out in 6 weeks.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

I have beige walls
Luckily, it seems to work with the decor. I may have to buy a big painting to cover the biggest exposed wall.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

Next year my walls shall be red and white.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

Raspberry Ripple?

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

No.
Barber shop.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:23, archived)

Does this mean there'll be four gay men constantly singing in your bedroom?

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:26, archived)

Yes

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:26, archived)

*high fives*

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:28, archived)

Also
Leave seafood and broken glass under the carpet when you leave.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

I'm leaving bread in the bathroom tiles.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:22, archived)

That's shit
Block the drainpipes, deposit foul-smelling things everywhere, shit in the cistern, glue the windows shut.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I'll add more if anything new and actually original comes to mind.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:27, archived)

That's a zoomed in flid arm if I've ever seen one...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:18, archived)

it's his chin

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

but on his arm instead of his face

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

shan't
you won't pay the usual fee
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:18, archived)

i41.tinypic.com/245ls0z.jpg
(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

that looks like a slightly down and out
alcoholic stephen fry
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

How is that different to the original version?

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

i think it's the beard that does it

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:28, archived)

I didn't click
See the post I did below.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:31, archived)

YEAH.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

After repeatedly getting banned from anontalk
I am now scared that every link I click will be the Last Measure.

:(
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:29, archived)

I'm surprised it doesn't have a depth gauge tattooed round the bicep
edit: oops

I'll log out now
(yeah right bollocks bollocks, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

You what?

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

Seems too small to bother.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

I wholeheartedly endorse this post
ahem
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:23, archived)

Here it is
img20.imageshack.us/img20/994/01012008245.jpg

Yeah, I'm topless.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:29, archived)

WELCOME TO MOLEBASE ALPHA

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

Oi,
they're flat moles, they're not hairy or protruding.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

late night role call SM5 reporting in
weather: rainy and i'm soaked
mood: up and down, a little bit weepy and a little bit smiley
job: given my notice today, time to find a new job by the end of june
food: kebab
in other news: this has been one of the worst weeks of my life*

how are you all?

* no i don't intend to tell the internet about it
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:10, archived)

I'm here
The internet better take heed of this fact.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

I am playing football in approximately 9 hours.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

where and who for?

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:12, archived)

Up front for Atalanta.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:12, archived)

*slide tackles*
*cripples midfielder*
*wins ball*
*has a pint on the sidelines*

/Stuart Pearce
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:13, archived)

Slide tackles?
It's indoor football. I'm not sure I can deal with the friction burn.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

Punch them in the face, then

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

I prefer the shoulder barge over the dividing wall method.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:15, archived)

NUT THE CUNTS

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:17, archived)

indoor football?
(insert random insult here)
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:15, archived)

~~(insert random insult here)~~ FAGGOT
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:16, archived)

Why?
It takes a lot more stamina to play 5 a side for 2 hours than it does to play poncey 11 aside for 2 hours.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

I'm going to bed once I've had a wee

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:12, archived)

a wee what?

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:13, archived)

christ, let's not do that report thing again eh?
I mean it was shit enough last time, I thought we'd given up on that rubbish long ago?
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

You never get rid of shit memes on here
They merely lay dormant.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:15, archived)

given up on that rubbish?
this is the internet my dear gilgamesh, as long as i don't mention what i had for lunch everything will be fine
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:18, archived)

I had toast
OH SHIT.

_INTERNET
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

Bringing it onto the gayshift is low too.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

This song features a G# minor 11 chord.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=84l3AvsShwc
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:07, archived)

WOW

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:07, archived)

wanna make love to ya baby.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:08, archived)

GAY

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

because tonight, is the night

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

that two become one.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

because the night

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:10, archived)

belongs to lovers

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:10, archived)

because the night

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:10, archived)

belongs to us

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:10, archived)

SHIT, MAN

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:08, archived)

INTERNET

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

i'm not sure having a poo will help him

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:13, archived)

It certainly gives the internet something to discuss

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

my last poo lacked
viscosity
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:21, archived)

T-RIFFIC!

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

I like Paul Gilbert
I learnt loads of his scale exercises and they are imposible but my brothers make them look easy.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

11th chords can't be minors
11th chords are 7ths with a suspended 4th, you don't include the 3rd note so HOW CAN IT BE MAJOR OR MINOR?

this is you
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:09, archived)

I was quoting what Paul Gilbert, multi millionaire famous musician said.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:10, archived)

Also, you're wrong.
11th chords come in two flavors:

1) Minor 11ths

2) Dominant 11th
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 15 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

Paul Gilbert is a guitarist is he not?
show me a guitar chord shape for an 11th chord that uses the 3rd note of the minor or major scale and win a prize
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:16, archived)

Don't know if this is right or not, I suck at theory
edit: wait a sec that was a 7th
C E♭ G B♭ D F
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

Do I win prize?

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:29, archived)

you fail at showing me a chord diagram for it, yes

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

you were quoting someone who likes the sound of chords with big long names so feels the need to stick an extra word in
there is no such thing as a major or minor 11th chord
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:12, archived)

GO GILGAMESH

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

this should be some sort of
inspector gadget thingy
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

Fuck,,,
I've just pulled a small shard of what must be bone or cartelidge out of my kneecap and now it hurts to fuck and is swelling up... do I...

A: put ice on it and wait for the swelling to go down
B: get to the hospital
C: take a nightol and passout and deal with it when I get up
D: dig for more bits of stuff with a needle

PLACE BET NOW!
(

SiX and his hat, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:46, archived)

E: Do nothing, and see what happens.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:47, archived)

:)
plan - I could just drink a lot more and then I just wont care
(

SiX and his hat, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:47, archived)

Also, PHOTOS.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

will post some tomorrow
camera lead is in the other room and it hurts to walk
(

SiX and his hat, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

OH MAN UP!
You can't tease us with this story and then fail to deliver.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

tries to find macro lens
for the bone thingy...
(

SiX and his hat, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:52, archived)

Fuck off and die.
And have a stottie cake.
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:47, archived)

Stick it out.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:47, archived)

If you think you've just pulled bone out, I'd go with B.
Or alternatively, E: Tell the internet.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:47, archived)

Option B1:
Drink heavily, then go to hospital.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:48, archived)

drive?
I have an automatic so dont need my left leg and if I drink much more then I could probably handle the pain and get in a manual
(

SiX and his hat, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

This would be a good idea if not for the drink driving
Get bladdered, 'fall over' then get an ambulance.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:52, archived)

Yeah. Course you have
That's why you can still tell the internet
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

was only about 1cm long
and was sticking out like a little white head so I just pulled it out with tweezers
(

SiX and his hat, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:52, archived)

So, a zit then

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:53, archived)

thats a hell of a blocked sebaceous gland there then

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:56, archived)

I'm back from my cigarette.
I suggest a healthy dose of manning up. Make sure to fuck up your other knee so that you're not walking lopsided.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

This is also good advice there

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:51, archived)

Burp on your own haircut and rub it in a bit
this solve many of lifes mysteries...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

Call 0845 46 47 NOW
and prepare yourself for an A&E visit.
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

QUICK! OMG! U MITE DIE!!!!1111!!

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:52, archived)

01202 521666

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:52, archived)

I want to call this just to see what it is

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:53, archived)

do it, faggot

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:54, archived)

I would
But I just realised I have no credit :(

I don't like this, especially as I've been drinking and am suffering from a severe case of the BOREDS.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:55, archived)

FAGGOT FAIL

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:57, archived)

~~FAGGOT~~ phone

I don't get paid until the morning - you're one day too fast :(

Even thought it's Dominos, I'd still call and complain about Jews and such.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:08, archived)

Probably Dominos in Bournemouth again

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:54, archived)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHahahaha

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:54, archived)

Ha ha! I've just googled it and I was right!
Didn't you get struck by the banhammer for that last time?
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:55, archived)

oh no!

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:56, archived)

might just do that -
it's getting rather swollen - night all - will post pics when I get the chance
(

SiX and his hat, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:53, archived)

Who are you kidding?
You wont wake up.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:54, archived)

wrap bacon round it
your body will absorb the protein and grow a new piece of cartilage during the night, possibly
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:59, archived)

Still sounds like a waste of perfectly tasty bacon :(

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 15 May 2009, 1:07, archived)

Who'd like to fall out with the people's champion?
There's girls on.

Moohalaa might be looking, if you're a bit of a fruit cup.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

go on then

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

I'd like it to be somebody more popular.
Cheers though.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

no problem, you tedious cunt

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:17, archived)

ANGRY AT JMG ONLINE

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

img22.imageshack.us/img22/3503/jmgstrung.jpg
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

GET IN!
No 'I made this' button?!
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:24, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:27, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/bad7436b035054876c55/jaams.jpg
(__, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:27, archived)

GOOD LORD!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:27, archived)

YOU RASCAL, JMG

(__, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:29, archived)

Looks like a fat Ghandi.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:30, archived)

Fat Ghandi would be a good name for a band.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:31, archived)

what's a stottie?

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:30, archived)

WHAT'S A STOTTIE?!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!!!!!!!!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

(__, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:31, archived)

google says it's a cake

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:31, archived)

*Head in hands*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:33, archived)

i don't speak 'north'

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:34, archived)

I rarely speak to you at all.
Cherish this.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:35, archived)

yes

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:23, archived)

I really fancy a Juicy Lucy

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:14, archived)

There's a girl called Lucy on my course who's pretty juicy

(__, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

YOU RASCAL!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

PHWOAR

(__, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:17, archived)

I SAY

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

Alright.
Where is he?
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

That's the spirit!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

No, really.
I can't find him.

You didn't mention he was the people's champion of hide and seek.
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:16, archived)

Me.
I'm on about me.
I'm incredibly popular.

Me. Me, me, me..
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

I'm too happy to fall out with ANYONE.
I'll be grumpy again in the morning.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

This is good news.
We've had just about enough of your BULLYING on here!
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

this is SO good
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMyyg3G1bt4&feature=related

I'll never drag myself ot bed at this rate.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

Nah, I'm in a top mood tonight.
It's always funny seeing Leeds fail and I had steak earlier.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:17, archived)

I watched this.
A Leeds fan ran out of the bar.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

I have a fantastic talent of where whoever talks to me feels heppy about themselves
This isn't a boast Jammy, it's just a fact.

this also makes me feel good about myself for once www.b3ta.com/talk/6149567
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:24, archived)

You _are_ well fit.
And now to bed.

Night all.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:26, archived)

aww thank you sexy pants ;)
night night :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:27, archived)

Oh DG..
..ALWAYS tempting the fanny.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:28, archived)

I learnt from the best.
And when I say 'the best' I mean JMG, but can't say that because of the uproar that would cause in terms of 'sexiest male b3tan'
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:32, archived)

Ever thought the words "digestive biscuit" sounds like another word for shit?
"I've just dropped a digestive biscuit"
(King Mong, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:03, archived)

I can honestly say that I haven't.
There. I said it.
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

Oh, haha!

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

No
Next
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

Fuck your mother's black cunt.

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:05, archived)

Get out.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:08, archived)

Of course not.
Fucking hell.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

-ed perhaps
digest"-ed"...?
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:10, archived)

haha, yeah

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:16, archived)

That last thread was painfully shit.
So, Limey has finished her coursework and is well on her way to finishing her degree, Wormulus has probably got to level 10 paladin or whatever of world of fatcraft and I once downed a sherbert fountain in one go.

What was the last thing you did that you were truly proud of?
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:49, archived)

How's yours coming along?
I've just watched this and it's made me all happy but I'm not sure why. thejoyformidable.com/
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:49, archived)

Ummmm.... 600 words :(
But BUT, last night I sat up until 6am and only wrote 50 so today is a massive improvement. It's in for 10am tomorrow (the draft that is). Eeeek.

Fantastic stuff for finishing yours! We will have to have celebratory finishing degrees drinks sometime soon.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

Well done love. Have you got the coffee and cigarettes required for any good all-nighter?
And yes, I finish on June 2nd and am FREE as a bird from then on. Drinkies a-go-go.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

I finish June 4th!
I have some cigarettes but no coffee :( I'll just have to make really really strong tea.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

I finish mine on May 26th.
I had an all-day exam today, which was shit and I really want to pass so I don't have to do it again. I still have 2 x 1,500 word essays to go before hand in as well.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

Those are pretty small essays but small can be hard.
Winston Churchill said he wrote long letters because he didn't have time to write short ones.

Good luck with everything my lovely dear! An all day exam sounds knackering, pour yourself a glass of wine pretty lady.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

I had a large G & T when I came out.
We all came out of the exam room and straight into the nearest pub. The two short ones are on employment law, which I don't mind but want to get right.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

Do you write loads and then cut it down?
I take ages and do it slowly but try to get it done in one go. Some people on my course do 2,000 words for a 500 word report and then cut it back.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:11, archived)

No, I try my best to be on target.
2000 for a 500 report is silly, clarity is the key with the little uns: why say it in a paragraph when a sentence would do? Especially if all the space you've got to say it is a sentence.

I think people forget with little essays and don't plan enough, if anything small essays need to be planned more meticulously than big ones because you've got less margin for repetition and waffle.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:20, archived)

An all-dayer? Crikey - sounds like a nightmare.
And I agree with Lizzie that short essays can be a nightmare. Mine was 3,000 and I had to cut so much out so it would fit properly. I hope I made the right decisions about what to keep and what to leave.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

You won't know until the results come in.
I'm sure you got it right though, you've done pretty well up to now.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:08, archived)

Also, just watched the video.
It is very happy making isn't it? they're all so smiley. Also, I love the blonde girl's aeroplanes bed cover.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:10, archived)

I think the dark haired girl whose eyes roll back as she *ahem* arrives looks so beautiful post-orgasmically.
All happy and glowy and nice.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

Definitely.
*grins*
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:25, archived)

The play last Friday
Written by meeee. Two years of hard work. Worth it.
(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:50, archived)

Has someone put it on
or have you just finished it?

Either way, good stuff!
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:53, archived)

Yes, it was put on last Friday
But I was in it as well...

The ultimate dream is to write a play that I don't star in. Only then will I be gleefully happy.
(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

Hee hee.
Ace stuff... was it well received?
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

Feedback's been great so far - it was part of my module though, so I suppose I'll have to wait until I get my mark

(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:55, archived)

Wrote a fool-proof program in assembly language that can draw lines across the screen.
It's a remarkably complicated process.

Oh, and made some inroads into my fantastic novel that's going to take years to write.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:51, archived)

Excellent work
Techy, yet creative.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

Invented a sitcom.
I've had another episode idea too. Piston could come, but me and Friz would have a rare form of narcolepsy, so every time he spoke, we'd fall asleep.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

You wouldn't need narcolepsy.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

That'd be the main joke.
We were pretending all along.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:55, archived)

STOP MENTIONING ME YOU TIGHT-TROUSERED TORRENT OF TEDIUM

(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:56, archived)

No.

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

I laughed so hard I nearly started.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:57, archived)

Well done Lim Lam, I know how much this means to her so i will pander greatly.
I would also Pander to you too but I love Az too much.

The last thing I was proud of was a massive painting that I gave away to Cancer Research and it made them £800 at an auction for them which will help save someone's life.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

That is wicked cool stuff to be proud of.
Here have a Princess Leia Pug to celebrate.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:56, archived)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D
I just said out "Gaaaaww!" out loud :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

Lim Lam? I like it.
Now I can concentrate on everything else. Feels like such a weight off my shoulders.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:57, archived)

you're my lim lam :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

Aw well done artface :)
That's really cool.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

Eeeello spider monkey :)
I was quite chuffed it made that much. I got pics on my camera I'll upload to the old Facespace so people can have a look.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

One of my facebook friends saw your photo and thinks you are well fit.
She's hanging though. Sorry.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

heh ah well ;)
tell her thank you for the complement and that's very nice of her to say :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

Throat fucking that black-spastic.

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

Climbed 30foot up a cliff on a beach to retrieve a football.
I'll never forget the adoring looks of the crowd of six that had gathered.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:53, archived)

They were just thinking
"fall, go on fall"
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

Pretty much.
One even chucked a rock.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:56, archived)

Were you wearing a cape?
That would have made it truly heroic.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

I don't really do enough heroic stuff to justify owning a cape.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

Um....errr.....yeah....erm

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

I stopped without stalling :)
And made up for it later on with interest. BUT STILL. I'm enjoying driving like all the regular human beings do. But lower to the ground.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:57, archived)

That's brilliant.
It's my Summer resolution to learn to drive... is it super scary? Also, do little people like us have to sit on cushions?
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:00, archived)

I'm driving a motorbike, not a car yet
But cr3 did let me try his car once. I pulled away! And did not break ANYTHING. It looks like it would take some work to be good at though.

I might have been a little low in the seat also. Maybe a cushion would be useful....
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

wait till you get to the point when confidence kicks in and you start having fun ;D

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:11, archived)

I got my debt sorted today

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

Congratulations.
I had to write down my debt for a scholarship form, over 13,000... OUCH.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

yikes!
We're 20k in the red but the guy from the debt charity reckons we'll pay it off in 3 years if they can get the interest stopped
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

The last song I recorded, and probably my version of Ooom Pa Pa.
I am utterly unable to finish a tune at the moment. It's horrible.

Actually I am proud of the fact that I managed to go for 8 hours without getting overly wheezy. WORK TOMORROW!
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

NO. Don't go in to tomorrow.
What if you have another attack and ruin all the good work these last few days have done? Take tomorrow and the weekend and see how you are on Monday.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:00, archived)

I'm still on probabtion
and I don't get paid for being sick. Besides, I am BORED BORED BORED.

I have had two almost-good days. I will be FINE.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

You be careful lady.
Or Lizzie and I will have to come up there and force you into bed. And not in a sexy way.

Ok, maybe a little bit sexy.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

But it's Friday
Going back to work just for a Friday is painful. :(
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

I enjoy my job :(

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:03, archived)

Yay!
I am glad for you then. It's only bad if you to back to a mountain of work.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

I'm hoping that this will not be the case...
but the mountain of work will be even more mountainous on Monday morning. I need to get back to normal, I am sick of being ill.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:08, archived)

Get someone else to run around making your tea at least

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:10, archived)

No work for Wicca.
When I had asthma attacks like you've been having they made me stay in hopsicle for a week. Be good, get yourself some really nice gin and take another day off.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

I need money for the purchasing of goods and services.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

argh, that's in my head now
DAMN YOU LIONEL BART
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:12, archived)

figuring out how to operate a sewing machine
so I could complete a fancy dress costume which I had previously assumed I could just get the bits from charity shops.
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

That is ace stuff.
Sewing machines can be tricky bastards at times.

Was your costume good in the end?
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

recognisable. If you are over 30, that is, or watch UK Gold a lot.
this on me as a tribute to

the best Time Lord

Tom Baker
(although I had no Lalla Ward to assist.)
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

Great stuff!
That is a good costume!
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:14, archived)

thankyouse
was thinking about springing it at the Earls Court bash, seeing as theere is an actual blue police box down the road but way too hot for that jacket in nearly-June London
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

As long as you keep your threads out the back and be careful to lift the foot when you're turning, it's cake
I love sewing machines.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 15 May 2009, 0:08, archived)

strange, the same could be said for
taking a rear wheel drive coupe round the Nurburgring :-)
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 15 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

No, actually, I want attention
Hello.
(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

I endorse a Frizternet.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

:D
I'm gonna be a star, soon. Sitcom filming in late June. Woo.
(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

In widescreen?
HAHAFATFACEHAHA
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

YOU ARE A FUCKING WORTHLESS EMO WITH SHIT SHOES

(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:42, archived)

Hey Friz.
I've had an idea for a sitcom. Basically, me and you share a flat, and sometimes other b3tans come visit.

I think it should be called "Fat Face and The Emo"
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

I think it should be called the FUCKING STOP REPLYING TO ME show

(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:44, archived)

We could have a different b3tan each week.
And there'd be a wacky escapade related to their persona.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:46, archived)

We could have SuperMatt come.
And we'd be having a party, with girls. But all the girls would leave. Because he's turned up in a Linux tshirt.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:49, archived)

This sitcom is just too far-fetched.
It'll never take off.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:53, archived)

I can come over and basically use the entire episode as a Party Political broadcast to futher my own ambitions.
No fat chicks.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

YES.

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

But that'll count as a bash :(

(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

Hubare in a bald wig it is.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:46, archived)

I hope you become a massive success.
Just to see the bitterness on here.
I dare bet that it'll be mainly the fatter users who complain most.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:40, archived)

I am looking forward to various reactions
People will still say I'm shit, but they'll fucking watch me every week
(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:42, archived)

OH GOD SOMETHING JUST FELL OVER IN THE ENSUITE BATHROOM IT MADE A NOISE AND SCARED ME

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

RED PERIL!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

WHITE PERSIL!

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

BLACK PURSE!

(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

oh, get you and your ENSUITE bathroom!
i've just hung t'tin bath on t'back of t'kitchen door
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

Ooh get you with your ensuite bathroom.
Maybe the gold nose pluckers fell in the bidet.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

IT WAS ME.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLOOOO.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

THERE'S A DONKEY GUMS IN MY ENSUITE
*GLEES*
:D
(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

FLOOOP DE BOOOP!
Lets hold hands :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:40, archived)

I have an ensuite bathroom.

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

Tell us all about it

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:44, archived)

Well it's about 2 strides from my bed. It has a shower, basin and toilet.
It's pretty small, but it does the job.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

I want one,
I'm sure I'd get up easily if my shower was that conveniently close.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:47, archived)

It doesn't work.

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:48, archived)

i now have no attention

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

I prefer your current username rather than all that Dr Who bollocks

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

I was getting sick of the Doctor Who bollocks
And I got my original username back, so hurrah
(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

I FUCKING HATE DOING TRIVIAL WORK FOR MY COURSE.
Who wants to write my course diary for me? Because I have no fucking idea why it's necessary.
(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

NO! I WANT SOME!
I have finished my LAST EVER PIECE OF COURSEWORK. EVER. Until I do my masters. And I think it's the best thing I've ever written. And I HAVE FINISHED. Seven exams to go and I am DONE DONE DONE.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

*Chest bonk*
Well played.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:46, archived)

AMAZING
Well done sweetheart!
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:46, archived)

If you were a glove and I was a slipper
We'd so be in the same room as a sleeping sausage dog right now.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:48, archived)

flappy hand clap clap ba doodles
woop woop woop :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:47, archived)

I often wonder why I post here.
I have very little in common with any of you people.

It must be some form of addiction.

That's it.
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

That's it? Really?

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

Yes.

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

Lots of b3tans are attractive, socially competent, popular, thin and normal. You'd be surprised.
I do often wonder what brings us all together.
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LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

Also, is anyone awake and think they might like to proofread my essay for spelling and punctuation? It's about 3000 words long and I think it's quite good but you'll probably be bored by it.
I would love you forever.
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LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

I would love to babe, but I'm not university educated and my grammar and spelling is poor :S
sorry cupcake.
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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

Don't worry pet. :)
I'm not certifiably university educated yet either.
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LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

I can do a dance if you'd like?

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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

I'd love it.

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LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

I hope it's in Italian to boot.

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ArthurTheRat, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

Hehe, Italy and boot. Get it. Cos it's shaped like one.

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ArthurTheRat, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

lolololol

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LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

Parts of it are. Do you want a go?

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LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

Aww shiiit why not.
I've got nothing else to do.
I mean, I was planning to have a wank but I can put that off.
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ArthurTheRat, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

Gaz me your email if you will.
:)
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LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

When do you need it doing by?
I'm off tomorrow and can do it in the morning.
I've had brown booze and wouldn't do it justice tonight
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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

Tomorrow morning would be fabbity fab.
Gaz me your email address and I'll send it over. I'm going to hand it in around 11.30.
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LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

I'm usually on /talk now because I'm either high or drunk.
Also I make stuff on /board which is usually quite offensive.

I'm being introspective, which is self indulgent and not particularly interesting.
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(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

Great, thanks, fuck off.

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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

Ram it up your crusty smegma skimmed cunt-lips.
How's that?
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(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

I post here because alot of the people here have got the same warped sense of humour as I do and because of the mandering.

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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

don't you ever sleep?

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(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

what/ is / sleep?

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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

it's when dweams make ewe scweam

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(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:40, archived)

same here.
wait! we have something in common!
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spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

whoop

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(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

Hello lessers, JMG etc.
Fill me in on tonight's fat woe?
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:03, archived)

It was proven, numerically, that JMG repeats himself.

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Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:04, archived)

FRIZ MADE THIS.
www.b3tards.com/u/bad7436b035054876c55/jmgblame.jpg
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:05, archived)

Oh JMG :(

(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:08, archived)

I'm hoarding them all.
The plan is an eventual artwork of them all at some kind of event.
Stylish hats required.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:11, archived)

I'm more upset at the LACK OF CREDIT

(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:12, archived)

:(
I can only apologise.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:16, archived)

I had ice-cream.

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:04, archived)

Latvia didn't make it through to Eurovision.
Norway did though. Every cloud and that.
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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:04, archived)

I may wager cashpounds on Eurovision this year.
I'm looking to you to don a tipsters hat and guide me to taking my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's money off of them.
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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

Greece or Norway.
OR Turkey or Bosnia.
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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:17, archived)

Thanks TipTopTipster Blue Star
You'll get a cut of the inevitable winnings!
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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

I'M TOO BUSY FOR THIS CHATTER, JMG
I'm in three showings of a play next week. It's very stressful.
(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:05, archived)

*Firm handshakes*
Break a leg.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:06, archived)

I fucking DARE you to come see it

(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:08, archived)

I'll heckle from the front row.
..and by that I mean, video it all for the interLOL.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:12, archived)

cool! Is it an open air production?

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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:14, archived)

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffatface!

(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:19, archived)

1-1 that's the way it goes :)
you cuss me I cuss you. I love you really though ;)
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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

Frank Sinatra's version of Fly Me To The Moon featuring Count Basie is the greatest piece of music ever recorded
anyone who believes otherwise is simply wrong
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:23, archived)

HELLO
Any new greasemonkey goodness?
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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

the latest one is the one with the clicky to show original post, did you get that one?

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

Oooh, no.
*updates*
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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

where can I get the new one?

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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

lol sent u a gaz rofl

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

Haha, Noit got Piston in the randomburn.
He's going to get the Arnold Rimmer song.
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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

you should record a 74 minute loop of you and Noit going "ZzzzzZZzzzzZZzzzZzzzZzz"

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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

Yeah, I will do. Hehe.

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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

I got some good ones this year.
Not like last year when I got Noit and he ignored my 3 requests for his fucking address :P
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mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

The fucker. I'll hit him.
Did he respond eventually?
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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

Can he put my Piston theme tune on?

(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/5129541
(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

Who ever gets my random burn will get the best ever. It's going to be be full of comics and a whole audio book dicatated by me, written by me.
Starring me.
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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

I hope I'm on that list.
It beats the disc full of Jewish rap I'm sending Cr3.
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JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 14 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

I really want to know who's CDs I'll be getting.

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WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

Oh cool.
I hope Noit gets you. Or you get Noit. Whatever way it works.
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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

I got Noit.
Do your flats have external mailboxes? I might as well just bung the CD through them.
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WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

Nope, but I can meet you and take it off you, if you want.

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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

That'd be a possibility at some point when I'm officially free.

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WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

Cool beans.

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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

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