Ooooh
finally, drama. 10 enormous yellow police wagons just blue lighted past my building, apparently anarchists are massing in Bristo Square :D I may go and enjoy the entertainment in my lunch hour..
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:10, archived)

Go there in a shirt emblazoned with 'I *heart* McDonalds'

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:12, archived)

Butbutbutbutbut,
smashing the windows of your local fast food outlet, is the only way to end the capitalist oppression of the worlds poor! Every window broken, is a child lifted out of poverty.

Can't you see this?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:19, archived)

You're wasting valuable breaking things time.
*Continues chewing a chair leg*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:20, archived)

Maybe we should have some sort of community theatre
To raise awareness...

*whines*
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:20, archived)

No,
street theatre's where it's at.

Let paint ourselves green and stand still in Covent Garden, only moving to frighten young children who drop litter.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:23, archived)

I do believe, sir,
that this belongs to you: '
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:25, archived)

You're
too kind.

Now, be a good chap, and bend down to pick it up for me, will you?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:31, archived)

Oooh that would really define us and our cause!
Cup of fairly traded tea?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:25, archived)

Ooh, ta!
Croissant and a smug grin, anyone?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:33, archived)

Nut loaf sir?

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:34, archived)

I think a line needs to be drawn somewhere...

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:38, archived)

But I just made a fresh one
*surreptitiously removes remaining toilet paper*
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:40, archived)

Oooh and we really must go volunteer down the homeless shelter...
Having said that its far too comfortable sitting here in my armchair developing righteous indignation over all things and for all people
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:35, archived)

Oh come on
If we're talking spluttered indignation you seem to posses the lion's share of it.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:38, archived)

Donate some money,
and assuage your guilt. Or listen to Coldplay.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:40, archived)

I'll only donate money if I get a wristband in return.
I want the whole world to know just how selfless I am.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:42, archived)

brilliantly
you can now get "make poverty history" wristbands sponsored by FCUK, G-Star and a load of other clothing companies. Who use sweatshops. oh, the delicious irony..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:45, archived)

Silly boy!
Just buy a "fashion band" from a street trader, and pretend to look as though you care.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:47, archived)

Oh don't joke
Once we get rid of the clown anarchists it'll be festival time and the real street theatre will descend.

I'm not sure which I hate more.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:26, archived)

Mimes!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:26, archived)

And
6th formers in period dress. Or dressed like the Marx Bros.

*cries*
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:28, archived)

Oh but theyre so creative!


Arf:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:30, archived)

I am normally a peace-loving
lefty hippy, but mimes deserve a good kicking. Try escaping from an invisible box with all your limbs broken.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:32, archived)

Is it possible to tell one set of clowns from the other?
Gah. Festival time.
Gah. Expensiver Beer.
Gah.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:28, archived)

Move to Oxford!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:28, archived)

What and live with clowns all year?


actually, if there were the right jobs I'd be there like a shot...
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:31, archived)

/giggles madly
/is moving to oxford
(Withiel assumes the position!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:35, archived)

Oh well
The common element had to move in at some point
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:37, archived)

God! Those statue people really piss me off.
It's NOT a talent.

It's NOT amusing.

It's NOT art.

And don't even get me started on jugglers...
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:30, archived)

Meh.
It's a living, and it seems to amuse the tourists. Good luck to 'em, I say.

Of course, there aren't any of them in my town, just a couple of fire'n'brimstone preachers.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:36, archived)

I don't mind
if they are juggling running chainsaws. anything else is frankly has a whiff of lavender about it..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:38, archived)

Huzzah!
Let's break things!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:13, archived)

*breaks wind*
/obvious
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:22, archived)

be careful

( Jobe, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:13, archived)

Apparently they have corralled the Clown Army.
Or so news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/4646491.stm says
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:14, archived)

DEATH TO CLOWNS!

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:17, archived)

Why are anarchists
so organised?
( expf, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:21, archived)

I know an anarchist librarian.
He gets pissed off when you ask him if he puts the books back in the wrong place.
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:22, archived)

heheh
:-)
( expf, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:25, archived)

The power
of teh interweb.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:22, archived)

Please ignore this post as i thank Lonewolf for sending me the 'Special' package...

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:00, archived)

ooh
this post goes pink when you ignore it
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:03, archived)

*camps*

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:04, archived)

*stabs*

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:10, archived)

Hourah!
That was quick.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:03, archived)

Actually it was here on Saturday!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:06, archived)

Christ,
the post office actually worked!

Watched either of 'em yet?
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:07, archived)

Not as yet
Shall probably give them a shot this weekend:)

Ta though
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:09, archived)

You're welcome matey.
Now, just be careful how you express yourself in the future.

You are a right-wing cunt but you are our amusing right-wing cunt. :-)
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:10, archived)

Oh but its so much fun to upset a Lefty thesbo like Robin
And his bumchum Mr Withiel:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:13, archived)

Bumchum?
Jesus Christ! You look older than 12.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:33, archived)

YOU FUCKING GAZ-IMING CUNT
I WANT TO HAVE YOUR ENTRAILS FOR BREAKFAST
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:04, archived)

*clicks 'ignore'*

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:04, archived)

John Peel, Richard Whitely...
Now it's Luther Vandross' turn.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:54, archived)

One of the four tops
popped his clogs at the weekend too.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:57, archived)

Who's going to be the replacement?
My money's on Will Smith.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:59, archived)

You are living ever so slightly in the past
AICMFP
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:58, archived)

Says the man posting news links from last Thursday.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:01, archived)

Theres no news like jew news

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:01, archived)

That's my prerogative

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:01, archived)

Arf!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:02, archived)

who?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:59, archived)

He's
still dead then?

I'm reassured by this.

On a slightly different note, how the hell do I put up with my 2 colleagues going on and on and on and on and on and on and on about Big Brother? *sigh*
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:59, archived)

Kill them.
With a nail encrusted baseball bat.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:00, archived)

evict them

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:01, archived)

you don't. you kill them and dismember then, and throw their body parts in the sea.


/oh, I've been invited to apply for a lectureship at Heriot-Watt :D
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:01, archived)

Hairy Old Twat?
Nice one - which campus?
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:03, archived)

A row of pink tents.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:04, archived)

"Ve are sending you to Stalag Limpwrist, Englisher!"
Stalag Limpwrist? Why's it called that?
"It is just a little camp."
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:07, archived)

they don't write 'em like that anymore

Good old camp humour about an elderly lady and her pussy. They were the days
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:08, archived)

Indeed.
God bless BBC7...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:09, archived)

Edinburgh campus
School of Engineering and Physical sciences.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:09, archived)

At Riccarton isn't it?
Nice one, you going to apply?
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:17, archived)

should think so
they might be on the borderline of my research areas, but the head of department thought I should, and he knows what I do..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:31, archived)

kill them

they have proved they deserve it
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:01, archived)

But it appears
that nobody has told his webmaster:
www.luthervandross.com/index2.html
( Fergburger, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:04, archived)

Haha
that news section isn't so up-to-date.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:07, archived)

When Heebs attack!
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/4639731.stm
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:36, archived)

It may just be that I'm very grumpy today
but I don't find that very amusing, sorry.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:40, archived)

God you're starting to sound like Dill

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:42, archived)

Noirmally I have no problem
with the more outrageous posts as they are so over the top that they are funny or the news items contain something that could be amusing or ironic. This is just extremist idiots attacking defensless people so I have trouble finding any humour in the report.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:49, archived)

It gives Mykey a chance to be controveeeeersial

( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:54, archived)

I dont see how its controversial
I do see, however, that you are a nancy boy:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:00, archived)

they aren't defenceless
they could easily have defended themselves using their handbags, makeup and stillettos

the women however would have been in trouble, I agree ...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:54, archived)

It angered me
as I could imagine that being myself or my friends being stabbed.

However, I still managed to make a silly post down there.

I don't even know what I was trying to say, so please just dismiss this post as the confused rambling of someone who should be in bed.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:55, archived)

I apologise for pointing out the insanity of attacking someone
For religious reasons...
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:57, archived)

I'm sorry, must be my time of the month
just the way you presented it did not point this out.

Of course I still love you. *bums*
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:59, archived)

Not knowing anything about Jews
except some of them wore funny hats and dreadlocks, I was on a plane to Israel.

One of the funny hatted ones got his case out the overhead locker nearly taking my head off, then stood on my foot. I said in a very loud annoyed voice 'Hey! That's my foot you're standing on'. (I might have used different words)

He looked at me in disbelief as the whole plane went quiet and stared at this ignorant (blonde so I stuck out a mile) foerigner who dared to question a foul smelling sweaty weirdo that they obviously held in high esteem. I nearly came under attack for religous reasons.
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:00, archived)

You didn't mean to point out the insanity of attacking someone for religious reasons though, did you?
You just wanted to make some shitty jokeoids about yids and poofs.
Have you tried going to a BNP meeting? Your sense of humour would fit in perfectly.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:01, archived)

This
in shovelfuls.
(Withiel assumes the position!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:02, archived)

Have you tried looking for your balls recently?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:03, archived)

Hang on
So the structure looks a bit like this:
- Mykey makes a "controversial" comment, probably involving terms of racial, heterosexist or class abuse
- Someone else points out that this is in fact not funny or clever
-Mykey responds with crude heterosexist abuse impugning the masculinity* of the previous poster

Hmmp.


*not that to claim that someone is homosexual is to impugn their masculinity in anthing but the mind of fuckwits.
(Withiel assumes the position!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:07, archived)

You are not familiar with Mykey I take it

( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:09, archived)

Poof.
I tried really hard not to post this. But the temptation was too great in the end.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:09, archived)

half-poof
actually.
(Withiel assumes the position!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:15, archived)

You really should go here:
www.4rthur.com

Its right up your alley

This is only the internet my friend, do try to take it all a little less seriously
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:10, archived)

So
they don't find hatespeech badly disguised as hilarious cutting edge humour hilarious there?
(Withiel assumes the position!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:17, archived)

You forgot
- Mykey tries to weasel his way out of it by pretending the reason he posted the link in the first place was to draw attention to the these poor victims of dogmatic hatred.
Odious.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:14, archived)

God you are such a queen!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:15, archived)

And you're a weaselly faux-racist fuckwit.
However, exchanging insults is childish and boring.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:17, archived)

god i have to meet you:)

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:21, archived)

Yids stabbing poofs.
What's not to be amused at?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:46, archived)

You
shirtlifting shylock
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:47, archived)

Sorry.
*hangs head in shame*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:51, archived)

The correct retort to such an insult is
"You hooknosed bender"
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:52, archived)

Sorry.
*hangs head homosexuals in shame*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:00, archived)

Haha, people are injured.
It's funny because they're not real people since I don't know them.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:47, archived)

And as you know
Gays arent people like you or i
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:48, archived)

Exactly.
They should go back where they came from.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:49, archived)

Greece?

( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:49, archived)

Now that ^
was funny.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:51, archived)

No,
Brighton.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:51, archived)

What a
frightening thought.
[edit: I've never heard the term "heeb" before, and so had no idea what you were on about.]
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:40, archived)

Perhaps sir would prefer Yidds?

( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:46, archived)

Generally speaking,
I'd prefer to refrain from using what abusive terms*, when referring to ethnic and/or religious groups.

*Regardless of whether the abuse is expressly intended, or inferred by the reader.

Then again, free speech and all that.

Carry on.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:52, archived)

Shut up,
blue foot.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:53, archived)

I like this,
because I don't understand it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:55, archived)

I had a friend at university who was coloured and from Africa.
We got pissed and I started calling him 'nigger' and he started calling me 'bluefoot'.
Apparently, this is an offensive term for white people where he came from.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:58, archived)

Duly noted.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:03, archived)

Fuck off coon

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:55, archived)

Race riot!
Rivers of blood!

I'm so white. During the race riots, I went out and bought a TV.
/bobby hill
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:57, archived)

This.
It's not suddenly less shitty when it's us doing it.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:56, archived)

Who is "us"?
edit: And the idea was that I was suggesting that maybe it would be easier for everyone concerned if Mykey used more overt terms of derision.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:59, archived)

Us non-nigger/yid/gook... blah blah blah
I think Robin is saying we should take the moral high ground over ethnic minority scum.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:01, archived)

That's a mighty big presumption that we don't fall into the groups who come under flak here.
It also strikes me as being a little, I don't know, patronising(? - I suspect I've not got the right term but I'm at a loss to think of one) implying that "If you aren't on of them, you shouldn't be having a dig.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:06, archived)

It's also not what I meant at all.
By us I meant us, you and me and the other /talk regulars.
If a skinhead spraypaints "kill the poofs and niggers" on a bus stop, that's shitty.
If one of us lot posts it on b3ta/talk because we think it's funny, that is, if anything, more shitty, because we should be intelligent enough to know better.

At least the skinhead actually believes what he's saying.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:09, archived)

Hypocritically,
agreed.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:12, archived)

I wrote this before I saw your answer to my question and it
only stands if you had meant what baldmonkey had said. I'm glad you meant b3tans but I'm not sure it is any more or less shitty than the bus stop example. It's all shit as far as I'm concerned.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:13, archived)

I have no idea what Mykey's actual feelings are about homosexuals, ethnic minorites
or religious groups. Chances are, his use of abusive terms is ironic, with humorous intent. That's fine by me, and no skin of my nose if he wants to carry on. Nonetheless, for the reasons you've outlined above, it makes me slightly uncomfortable.

Now, everyone kiss and make up, and we'll pretend that this never happened.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:16, archived)

*Kisses everything in surrounding area*

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:18, archived)

The problem with that is,
it's not actually funny, is it?
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:19, archived)

No,
I didn't find it particularly amusing either, but it's probably best that we just move on. Any attempts to address the issue will quickly degenerate into name calling and generally troll-like behaviour.

The trouble with arguing on internet message boards is that, no matter who wins, you're both losers. Or something.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:27, archived)

I keep going to write things and continuously re-wording and then
deleting because I'm either going to look like a twat, sound overly apologetic, hypocritical, patronising or all of the above. The bottom line is, I posted something that I possibly shouldn't have done although I don't see it as being offensive and I'm regretting it now.

*kisses you all*
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:19, archived)

Careful there, you might accidentally think something.
I'd kiss you, but Mykey might call us queers
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:25, archived)

I'm being a bit vague.
I am coming at this from a slightly different viewpoint (although you would be quite correct in pointing out that it is no excuse) and I hadn't particularly wished to disclose it. Half my family and technically myself also, are Jewish. In fact there is no trace of any of my ancestors on my mother's side of the family beyond my great grandparents as they were all from Czechoslovakia & Poland and killed in the holocaust. In spite of this, I have never been particularly offended by Mykey and also deemed my offhand comment to be tame enough to warrant posting, at least in the name of low-brow humour. It has become clear that this is a little offensive to a few people so I shall refrain in future.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:34, archived)

b3tans

( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:02, archived)

Hilarious.
Absolutely side-splitting. I can barely type for laughing. Honestly.
(Withiel assumes the position!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:59, archived)

Any London or nearby based b3tans want to come
to our gig on Thursday night at West One Four in West Kensington?

No?

So its not a 100% Spam post, which is better a good burp or a good fart?
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:30, archived)

I would,
but I'm on the way to Cork for nefarious purposes on Thursday. sorry..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:34, archived)

Queef

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:34, archived)

Harry Ramsdens raspberry
as Viz called it, I believe
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:37, archived)

I want to do
this
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:08, archived)

sage advice
Mr Dorje's advice is: "Never shake the bucket of nuts before you're tied to the yak rope."
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:11, archived)

Woo!
Me too.
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:11, archived)

And me.
If only they could involve monkeys somehow...
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:14, archived)

you just like looking at my arse

( the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:15, archived)

Thay too of course.
*admires*
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:16, archived)

*charges downhill, while wiggling suggestively*

( the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:17, archived)

*faints*
you lovely little thing
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:20, archived)

Haha
say the word Yak three times and he shall appear.
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:16, archived)

Yak yak yak!

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:30, archived)

Dont talk back?

( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:31, archived)

Yakkety Yaks massage parlour how may I help you?

( the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:33, archived)

He would be after the full service

( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:36, archived)

they always are ; )

( the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:38, archived)

I want you
to massage my yak.

And, give him the full service... eh?... know what I mean... *winks*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:40, archived)

Snot fair
I have to work.

Bastards, anyone would think they paid me or something.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:56, archived)

meh

( Jobe, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:02, archived)

I've just given the final meter
readings on my old place and found that between gas, electricity and water we've managed to fall nearly £500 behind in the 6 months we've lived there, despite paying £70 a month for the gas & electricity.

It's yet another £100-150 I have to pull out of my arse this month, and I have to extort the same amount out of the other people I lived with.

It's all fucking shit :(
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:07, archived)

GAH
Edit: Mykey's right :/ I shouldn't be mean this early on a Monday.

*hug*
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:08, archived)

Meanie

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:09, archived)

Ta.
Well this month I'll have had to pay 7 weeks rent and £200 deposit on the new place, £150 clearing old bills, £45 hiring a van and I still need to get my bike serviced.

Anyone want to buy my arse for £10 a go?
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:14, archived)

Please

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:15, archived)

*starts bidding*

( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:16, archived)

I'll buy a week's worth.

( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:18, archived)

I'll buy sloppy seconds.

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:37, archived)

ouch :(

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:08, archived)

We should do Fenris8
And all contribute a pound:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:13, archived)

Urgh
That sounds like a nasty sexual practice - 'have you ever tried fenrisating anybody?'
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:15, archived)

Id hope you have

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:18, archived)

This is a fucking good idea
I can post a link to my Paypal Donate button and you could all send me a tenner? :P
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:18, archived)

I can't offer you any cash,
but I could go home and listen to Pink Floyd, if that's any use?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:21, archived)

Works for me :)

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:25, archived)

*drowns in his own sense of self worth*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:37, archived)

That's a bit shit.
Whenever I get a utility bill with estimated readings, I go get the correct readings and have a new bill sent out for the correct ammount (usually, half they initial ammount).

Of course, this is of no use to you, whatsoever. Erm... sorry?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:17, archived)

I'm surprised at how much we used
but we didn't really have a working shower so had a lot of baths plus lots of PCs and a couple of great big TVs.

And the fact that 2 of them had a tendancy to leave the oven on at gas mark 6 for 8 hours at a time.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:21, archived)

I take it that your name was on all the bills,
so it's you up shit creek if everyone else decideds not to pay? Nasty.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:22, archived)

Aye
They shouldn't refuse point blank, but I suspect that at least one of them will have difficulty getting the money right away.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:25, archived)

ooh! it's been launched!
www.orgasmatones.com/
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:54, archived)

Q These are so ace, who are the girls who made them?
A The girls identities must remain a secret (for now), but in the meantime, all I can tell you is they are 6 hot young things working in the adult industry here in the UK.

*COUGH*

Are they considering offering it outside of the UK? The web interface could probably hook into the Clickatell SMS gateway.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:57, archived)

I'm not sure who the other three are...
as far as I know, me, dekazer and icklepeach are the only ones who recorded them
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:59, archived)

You sure they actually used yours in the end then?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:00, archived)

And as far as I know
none of you three are involved in the adult industry, apart from being avid consumers of porn.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:00, archived)

I've
never consumed porn in my life.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:02, archived)

Do you find
it a bit hard to swallow?
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:03, archived)

I find
it a turn off*. For many very dull reasons.

*Apart from the small minority that I find amusing, but still about as far from sexy as it's possible to be.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:04, archived)

I was just being silly, anyway.

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:05, archived)

avid consumers of porn?
dekazer will have something to say about that :P and I've only ever seen half a porn film and that was last week
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:02, archived)

Im not clicking that
edit: you also forgot this /spam
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:58, archived)

not spam :P
hopefully this is going to solve our financial problems
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:03, archived)

I suspect that you'd have to sell a hell of a lot of them
If you are on a percentage to make any real money
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:07, archived)

well Mr V joint-owns the company
and dekazer and icklepeach are on a percentage. they've been syndicated across Europe and in America too
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:09, archived)

I just wonder how many people would have them as a ringtone
They cant be appropriate in many settings
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:11, archived)

Not like Crazy Frog?

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:12, archived)

Slightly more acceptable to have at work than a woman moaning and cumming

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:13, archived)

we didn't actually cum
well, not after the first trial batch
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:17, archived)

That was only
the wine.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:21, archived)

I meant the very first batch :P
before I dragged you two into it
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:22, archived)

I know which I'd rather have.

( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:18, archived)

the projected sales are very high
considering they're mainly targeting the late-teen market
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:13, archived)

I would love to click that
but I think the siren and revolving light on the IT Manager's desk would explode.

Are you feeling any better?
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:01, archived)

no better
but NHS24 called back and they've made me an appointment with the emergency GP at the hospital at 12pm
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:04, archived)

I fucking hate the anti globalisation lot and the anarchists

I hope they die in a horrible, horrible manner.

And hence dont get to inherit Daddies estate in Wiltshire
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:35, archived)

Well, who wants to live anywhere near Swindon anyway?

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:36, archived)

they'll be
trashing Edinburgh today. cunts.
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:37, archived)

I dont see why you lot should be put out
Utter bastards!
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:42, archived)

there's a load of places
all boarded up to protect themselves
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:43, archived)

I suddenly have the urge for haggis

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:47, archived)

That's how they euphemise
"hot young cock" in Oxford is it ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:56, archived)

Half right
it refers to the young scottish rent boys who sell their wares late at night on the Cowley Road.
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:59, archived)

Serves the Scotch people right
for oppressing minorities and being capitalist pigs and stuff.

This post was brought to you be the baldmonkey patented ill-conceived political idea generator.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:44, archived)

...also known as The Conservative Party Policy Unit
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:53, archived)

I can't be bothered to make my mind up on these issues.
All I know is I am enjoying my German Salami.
If that makes me a fascist, so be it.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:38, archived)

Europeans
have quite a way with meat.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:44, archived)

I know i do

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:45, archived)

I have nothing against anti-globalisation protestors,
but I do have to laugh at them when they talk about doing away with capitalism (face it, it's not going to happen).

I think anarchists are quite sweet, the way they cling to an ill defined and often childish* philosophy.

*Be honest, when you were 13, you'd probably have claimed that you weren't going to vote when you grew up, because you wanted to be an anarchist. Then, you grew up (and probably didn't vote because you were too lazy).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:40, archived)

I think it comes down to a lack of thought
on the alternatives, and a gut feeling that it stands to reason that certain things "just aren't right".

Not characteristics ever shared by right-wingers, of course.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:48, archived)

Pretty much.
It's just lazy thinking.

It's slightly worse than Conservatism - rather than just offering simplistic, flawed* solutions, they offer none.

*Disclaimer: in the interests of balance, monster munch recognises that this is a simplistic and flawed description of Conservatism, born out of lazy thinking.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:53, archived)

It's better than no thought at all though.
It's fundamentally good for people to stand up for what they believe, even if they don't believe it very well or stand up for it effectively.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:55, archived)

It's probably a good idea to have some beliefs and values
and not just succumb to apathy but if you don't think things through in a well-balanced manner, there is an increased risk of extremism (amongst other things). I have been led to understand that this is A Very Bad Thing Indeed™

edit: On reflection, making (the majority of) people think things through is possible the most futile task imaginable. Thus discussing all this is probably a waste of time and energy.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:01, archived)

Yes,
this.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:03, archived)

However, a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, as the saying goes.
It could be said that though the Live 8 and even the original Live Aid/Band Aid concerts raised huge sums of 'fucking money' as Geldof would say, it did nothing about the tinpot dictators who squirrelled the aid into their wives, mistresses and swimming pools, whilst leaving the people destitute.

Sadly, until someone deadheads the corrupt dictators, whatever we do, however well intentioned, will have only a superficial effect. We will watch the news, say 'how terrible', wear our bracelets, and go back to eating our dinner.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:01, archived)

I agree that fixing the dictatorships*
is the way to fix everything in the long term.
That's not much consolation to the people that will starve tomorrow though, if I'm not being too sensationalist.

* including our own
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:08, archived)

True --- it's just that a balance needs to be struck between just throwing grain and bread at the problem
...and being overly 'diplomatic' and shaking hands with Mugabe et al. And to be honest, for me, that's the sad thing --- though awareness will be raised which is no bad thing, and aid etc will fix it for a bit, people don't tend to think past the next channel change, and democracies, especially our own, don't think past the next 5-year term in office. They may put their change somewhere different, without the consideration that a change in the way we think is what is required.

/something about the worst form of government with the exception of everything that has gone before....
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:20, archived)

You forgot
the enjoyment of picking a few vague concepts to hate, and shouting inflammatorily at anything that seems a bit like them.

As hippies do, of course.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:54, archived)

Meh
Sometimes lost causes are worth fighting for.
edit: /not an anarchist
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:48, archived)

Anarchists are funny.
All the anarchists I know are anti-establishment and thinks that makes it OK to go around generally being a prick and calling very nice policeman "pigs" for no reason. And their logo is funny.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:49, archived)

In summary:
Anarchists - awww, bless!

However, are we not in danger of just being patronising and complacent?

'Ning all.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:52, archived)

And ning to you.
What's up?
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:53, archived)

Having lurked for a bit, my inital response would be
"general levels of cynicism on the board"
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:54, archived)

I'm feeling quite a lot less cynical than usual.
If Bob Geldoff were here, I'd... actually, no, I'd push him into a bath of boiling Dettol. But in a good-willed way.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:00, archived)

People like that are stupid.
True anarchists are lovely people, because their philosophy is based on the belief that people are too nice to need a constitutional law.
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:01, archived)

By "lovely,"
you mean "hopelessly deluded," don't you?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:04, archived)

"Punk lives, you facker!"

*swigs from bottle of 20/20*
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:05, archived)

When I was 13
I wanted to vote. I like democracy, even if it really is pseudodemocracy.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:53, archived)

Pseudodemocracy how?

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:59, archived)

It's good to be different.
I like democracy too, but only as much as Winston Churchill did (something about it being "the least worst option").
Still, as a youngster, I'd either claim that no party could represent my views, or that I would vote for the BNP.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:00, archived)

Anarchism is a nice idea, and do is communism,
but neither are suitable for running something as big as a country.

Communism is a fine way to run a household, though. From each according to ability, to each according to need.
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:50, archived)

Communsim would be fine,
if it didn't have to involve any people.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:55, archived)

Or maybe even a commune?
The problem with household-level communism is that the bourgeoisie still control the means of production, or if you will, the pocket money.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:55, archived)

Holy crap
I'm in bed AND on the internet!

thank god for laptops and long Lan cables!
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:34, archived)

Welcome to a few years ago

( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:35, archived)

What a poetic
keying error!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:36, archived)

ninja'd

( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:37, archived)

I'm at work.
Tired.
At a stupid slow terminal thingy.
Bah.
I want some kettle chips.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:35, archived)

long Lan cables online pornography.
(Small Beer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:36, archived)

Pah!
/me has wifi which covers the bathroom and toilet as well as half the garden.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:46, archived)

How did you
find this out?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:49, archived)

I took my laptop outdoors
...kept the streaming internet radio going, looked at the signal strength on the toolbar, and roughly mapped out the area that my access point covers.

Quite some way, as I discovered.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 11:06, archived)

'ning.
I would like to know why my head feels drunk and I can taste blood at the back of my throat.
I'd also like a nice, long, sleepy hug.
( Malchick, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:23, archived)

*hug*

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:24, archived)

*hugs*
Ning
( Jobe, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:25, archived)

Bumhug?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:25, archived)

Ah, why not.
*grabs ankles*
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:27, archived)

you've got what I've got
*gentle snuggles*
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:27, archived)

Manflu?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:29, archived)

even worse than that
'flu bad enough to stop a mummy
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:30, archived)

Oh rubbish
Being a mums dead easy anyway
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:33, archived)

Uh-oh...

( Shoosh up your lips Not state-funded, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:34, archived)

Mothers are just people like you or i who got knocked up and have to deal with the situation in hand
It doesnt make them super or anything like that, they are in now way tronger or better than us. And yet bless em they do try to propogate that myth
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:38, archived)

You're not stopped!
You're on the interweb ;)
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:36, archived)

I wasn't yesterday
yesterday I was utterly incapaciated
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:38, archived)

Genital snuggles?
/dyslexia
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:30, archived)

well, since you asked nicely
*strokes and fondles*
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:32, archived)

As a change from live 8
Huge Explosions! In Space!

Maybe we could arrange for a probe to be crashed into Maria Carey at high speeds.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:21, archived)

I wish Geldof could be put into space
Except he'd probably feel righteous indignation for the Martians or something.

fucking guilty white folk piss me orf... *burns cross*
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:22, archived)

Only because you lack the moral courage
to feel guilt. And because you're black.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:28, archived)

and Jewish

( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:28, archived)

Half caste actually

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:31, archived)

And my name was on it!
woo!
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:23, archived)

Speaking of Gobshite statistics:
www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1679975,00.html
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:21, archived)

Oh for fuck's sake.
This whole instilling a climate of fear bollocks just makes me want to HULK SMASH.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:23, archived)

As a statistician
I would be interested in knowing more about their data collection methods, and about their sampling frame, as well as their definition of what consitutes a gun. Some of our figures here have seemed a little high, until you realise that air guns and BB guns have been included - it's not necessarily all illegal handguns and pistols.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:25, archived)

statistician sex pest
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:28, archived)

PEST?!?
Symbol I'll grant you. Kitten I'd allow you. -Pert Would be OK.

Pest I think is unfair.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:30, archived)

I think you mean
"artist formally known as Prince"

:P
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:33, archived)

I don't get it

( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:37, archived)

"symbol"
was what I was referring to. but you probably didn't get it cos it wasn't funny ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:38, archived)

And that they asked ten kids in Peckham
I think Charlton Heston has the right idea, arm them all, and let them die as free men!
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:30, archived)

In that case I'm surprised the figure's as low as 1 in 10
When I was a youngster it was pretty common to carry airguns & BB (Big Brother) guns around.

Mind you, I lived in quite a rural area where there wasn't much to do apart from shooting things (and marrying into the extended family).
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:30, archived)

I like the fact that they wait until the ninth paragraph, before mentioning that
only kids in Central London were surveyed.

I also found "More than half of the children said that they could easily get hold of a knife," to be particularly shocking - I wonder where they could get them from? I say we ban cutlery, and ban it now!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:25, archived)

and they asked teenage boys
who want to look hard in front of their mates.

I'd love to know why it never seems to occur to people who do these surveys that everyone in the world, to a greater or lesser degree, lies to make themselves seem cooler/more interesting/more attractive to the opposite sex.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:31, archived)

Researchers reveal
6 out of 10 boys between 14 and 16 have had sex with Angelina Jolie, and she loved it.

Police are currently questioning Ms Jolie.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:34, archived)

Whereas only 3 out of 10 boys in Santa Maria
claim to have slept with Michael Jackson.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:42, archived)

That risk
is very much reduced if data is collected by self response, confidential questionnaires, for example. My concern about truthfulness would be less than my concerns about sampling or definitions.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:35, archived)

In most cases
I agree with you. But not where teenagers are concerned. doesn't matter that it is confidential self response, they'll lie, especially the boys. It's one of the founding principles of the universe...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:37, archived)

I really disagree
I work on a youth crime study, and we've triangulated results sufficiently to let us conclude that our lot are enormously truthful.

It all depends on your methods - not on the truthfulness or otherwise of young people.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:39, archived)

Tie them to a chair, and give them the rubber hose treatment, until they confess?
Or just interpret the data in such a way that "I carry an AK-47, and lead the East Cheam Massive on regular crime sprees" becomes "I stay at home and play far too much X-box"?

Either way, I salute your dedication to the truth!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:48, archived)

well, this is your area,
so I'll bow to you on this one. :P
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:57, archived)

Yep.
Same thing when they survey young people on their sexual habits - invariably, you come away with the impression that they're all at it, all of the time, when a little common sense should remind you that teenage boys will always lie when it comes to sex.

Muppets.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:35, archived)

Fear drives? What kind of a poncy excuse is that?
It's society's fault that you're unable to walk along the street without feeling threatened? No, I think it's your own, you paranoid little shit. If any real threats turn up I hope they destroy your face.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:29, archived)

Good to see that Live8 has gotten everyone talking about what we're doing to do to help alleviate poverty in Africa.
I'm sure that the starving millions will appreciate us all listening to Pink Floyd on their behalf.

'ning, all. Just felt the need to get the cynicism off my chest, for the day.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:53, archived)

Hahaha
This is exactly what I thought about the whole thing. I also heard someone say that approx 5 billion would be watching across the world which sounds like the biggest load of horse toss ever.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:55, archived)

That is indeed utter bollocks.
and annoyed me a lot.
There aren't that many people with electricity in the world for fuck's sake.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:57, archived)

I heard on the radio this morning
that 85% of the world's population watched Live8. that shirley can't be right! there can't be that many tvs in the world!
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:59, archived)

I reiterate my statement
that it is complete bollocks.
It might just be the sum of the populations of the countries in which at least one person watched it, but it's probably not even that.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:01, archived)

best it of news
sat in a greasy spoon yesterday morning, news of the screws on the table ... "8 out of 10 people worldwide watched live 8"

Fuck off. 8 out of 10 people in the world do not have access to a TV let alone the inclination to watch a load of vacuous celebrities pretending to give a shit...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:59, archived)

Not even 8 out of 10 of my office
with their comfortable, educated, middle-class liberal politics, could be arsed.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:09, archived)

I really doubt 8 out of 10 people in the UK watched it.
to be honest ...

/Sail 8 was an unmitigated success as well ... instead of the huge flotilla of boats bringing back hundreds of frech protesters, there were 4 boats and no French. Oh how I laughed as I lay on the deck in Cowes getting pissed ...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:12, archived)

I heard that last night
And it is still making my day:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:17, archived)

I missed that conversation ..
I avoided all of Live 8 due to being on a boat, with the sad exception of Dido and Youss'n van door or whatever the fuck. I was really disappointed that he just did some shouty backing bits on "thank you" and didn't just steam in with the Eminem bits ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:56, archived)

Credit where it's due:
Dido sounds exactly the same live, as she does on studio recordings.
/damns with faint praise
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:10, archived)

I gave a coon a fag on Saturday
thats my bit done
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:59, archived)

Nope
This was cancelled out by the abusive texts I recevied!
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:02, archived)

But we did establish that posh girls like you take it up the arse by preference
So i feel it was worth it
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:04, archived)

I believe
all we established was that I am incredibly posh ;P
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:06, archived)

Its that tattoo with 'I've got a trust fund'
Which gives it away:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:15, archived)

Hmmm
Most of the acts displayed a bit of humility and tried to remind the crowd what the concert was about.*
I think at the very least it created some good feeling for a day, which is better than nothing.

* Robbie Williams and Ms Dynamite excepted, and Mariah Carey disqualified for going too far.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:00, archived)

Mariah Carey deserves an award.
At the very least, she should get an entry in the OED, as the definition of patronising.

[edit: Bonus points to David Beckham, for saying that it was the most historical day he'd ever been involved in.]
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:03, archived)

Mariah Carey
should be torn apart by rabid dogs, IMHO. she certainly should not ever be allowed to breed, she sneaked in the gene pool whilst the lifeguard's back was turned as it is..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:09, archived)

Rabid dogs would be too quick
I favour grumpy hedgehogs with grapefruit spoons.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:13, archived)

this
is a better idea. blunt grapefruit spoons at that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:15, archived)

I see her as a female Michael Jackson -

Given to making patronising statements about subjects/people she knows very little about

Over-inflated sense of self-worth

Makes fucking hideous music

I don't know if MC has a penchant for young boys or not. It wouldn't surprise me.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:14, archived)

Her set did have an awful lot in common
with the MJ set that upset Jarvis Cocker. I only kept on watching as it seemed as though her dress was about to ride up.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:16, archived)

I reckon that if he were really committed and not just a a publicity whore
He'd donate all of his decadent western money to Africa and fuck off there.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:21, archived)

Did you see the place where the rainbows are?

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:22, archived)

Pfft!
She made my hero come along...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:28, archived)

I had to laugh
at the cash in DVD of Live Aid that I saw advertised on TV not long after...

They called it "The biggest musical event of all time"...erm not anymore it's not!
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:09, archived)

Ah,
they mean it was the biggest event of all time at the time, see?

edit: the money from the DVD sales still goes to the charity though, doesn't it? Not really a cash-in.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:13, archived)

I thought that Sir Bob
didn't want our feckin' money, and that we should all shove our donations up our arses? Afterall, it's money raised on the back of the poorest people on earth, and therefore dirty money, isn't it? Or is it only dirty money when e-bay offer it to him?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:19, archived)

You would assume that it does
But there was absolutely no mention in the advert of how much goes to charity, normally they make a big deal of that sort of thing, so no mention of it sounds a bit strange - i would guess some of it does but not much
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:22, archived)

On Saturday
they tried to link us to Live 8 (in Edinburgh) but we were just sitting watching telly in the park, and wandered off :)
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:01, archived)

A Dachshund goes into a bar
and the barman says, "Why the long body?"
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:21, archived)

A Red Lion called Eric walks into a bar...
oh, fuck it.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:24, archived)

I want to know the punchline of that now.
*heads for google*
Pah.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:27, archived)

A red lion walks into a bar
the barman says "'Ere, this pub's named after you!"
The lion replies "What, Eric?"
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:37, archived)

*holds up scorecards*
and a disappointing 4/10 there from the albanian judge

/'ning sir. how's you?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:52, archived)

was he with a White Horse?

( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:34, archived)

An Irishman, and Englishman and a Scotsman
walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
(Small Beer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:49, archived)

OK, I've missed all the UK media coverage of Live 8
Was the general opinion that Pink Floyd were the best thing to happen to live music in the last 20 years?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:20, archived)

I've not seen any of it either

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:21, archived)

The reviews I read this morning
said "meh" about PF.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:21, archived)

Yes, but you read
Just Seventeen.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:23, archived)

I only saw bits and pieces as I
was moving house ALL CUNTING WEEKEND. But PF did seem pretty damn good :)
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:26, archived)

Paul McCartney and U2 doing Sergeant Pepper
was great.
My phlegm-spouting housemate refused to let me try and watch Def Leppard though.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:29, archived)

I'm amazed that not one presenter
on Radio 1 or the TV had any idea who the lead singer from Velvet Revolver was. He used to sing for Stone Temple Pilots, now I don't expect everyone to know that but these guys that work in the music industry really should have a clue!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:32, archived)

Scott Weiland?
People don't care who's singing because IT'S FARKIN' SLASH PLAYING GUITAR!

Everyone's too busy watching the man in the hat to notice the bloke that used to sing in the Stone Temple Pilots.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:34, archived)

Ah come on
he's ace (despite being a bit of a twat). Slash is just a guitarist :P
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:41, archived)

Most amusing bit of TV coverage
Jonathan Ross hands over to vacuous bint with microphone doing D-list 'celeb' spotting among the backstage crowd.
"Look who's over there," says VBWM. "Jonathan Ross!"
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:37, archived)

Fearne Cotton?
She is quite, quite awful and is the very definition of "Wittering Tart".

She's the new Davina McCall, aparently.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:42, archived)

She kept asking people in the crowd
"It's not just about the music, is it?"
Most of them said yes, it was. Which was disappointing, but funny.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:45, archived)

Heh!
You can lead a horse to water etc.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:50, archived)

I managed to miss all of it.
But teh Floyd would have been good to see. They have not been same without Waters' vitriol and general pessimism.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:27, archived)

PF rocked my bells, they were fantastic
Then McCartney managed to pick the worst Beatles song recorded to end on (The Long and Winding Road), saving it only by segueing into Hey Jude.

And I've got nothing but total
respect for,
Aaaaann-ie Lennox.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:33, archived)

Ooooh there are worse Beatles songs than that.
Within You Without You.
Dizzy Miss Lizzy.
Her Majesty.

I thought they were going to close on the Sgt Pepper reprise for a nice bit of continuity.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:35, archived)

None as turgid and MOR
as TLAWR, I fear. Sgt. Pepper's would have been a good idea.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:46, archived)

I heard an interview with Macca
and he said that he'd been asked to play The Long and Winding Road because L8 had put together a special film to play over it.

Annie Lennox - she doesn't seem to have done anything for 10 years and comes back looking younger and singing better than ever before.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:37, archived)

She ages backwards.
She and Carol Vorderman both.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:38, archived)

Am I the only one to think that Paul McCartney
is vastly over-rated. He's like the goody 2-shoes, didn't inhale, Beatle.

Annie Lennox is definitely still worth a poke.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:46, archived)

I haven't liked much (any?) of his stuff written outside the Beatles,
but he's still good when he does Beatles songs.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:49, archived)

Maybe it's just because I'm getting older or my standards have lowered
but ten years ago I wouldn't have touched her with a bargepole. At the weekend - the idea didn't repulse me.

Not a fan of Macca but 'Live & Let Die' is my favourite Bond theme tune.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:54, archived)

"because I'm getting older or my standards have lowered"
I don't think the 2 things are seperate events :P
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:59, archived)

I fell asleep
sometime around Joss Stone, and woke up at Robbie Williams. The Who were excellent, but then I turned over to watch Dog Day Afternoon instead :D

'Ning all
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:28, archived)

I've still noty seen that
any good?

I ache like I've been a victim of a gang prison rape today :(
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:33, archived)

Dog Day Afternoon
is fucking incredible.

Ning!
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:34, archived)

I always mean to watch it
I will have to get my hands on it soon :)
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:42, archived)

Bloody excelletn
one of my favourites.

Jalapenos on pizza again?
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:35, archived)

No
not round the bottom. Just hurt a lot from carrying all my stuff down 3 floors, 300 yards to the van and back up some more stairs at the other end. It was an incredibly long, sweaty and knackering weekend.

Anyway I'm in now and just need to unpack *sob*. The next bit of furniture I have to take apart twice because I did it wrong is going out the fucking window/
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:38, archived)

You will be sleeping on the floor tonight
AICMFP
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:42, archived)

No I managed to get the bed up
on Saturday night thank fuck. I've spent 2 nights in my new place so far. As I am sharing with 3 women I will let you know if I start ovulating.

They keep using my (rented admittedly) 32" widescreen TV to watch Big Brother :(
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:44, archived)

Ahahahahaha
You'll be hooked to all the soaps before you know it!
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:47, archived)

Broadband is getting put in on Thursday
I will be back on a diet of porn and online gaming very soon ;D
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:50, archived)

Gah!
Foiled again.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:52, archived)

Floyd were good in my opinion

As I said yesterday, it made me want to dig out my Floyd CD collection and relisten all over again. Wifey had never heard their music before and wanted to hear more.
I think the main attraction was watching to see if Waters would have a fight with anyone.
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:32, archived)

I liked the review that said
"Pink Floyd — looking like the reunion of a secondary head teacher, the owner of a dry-cleaning company and the Deputy Permanent Secretary at the Department of Transport"
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:39, archived)

They were quite good
but it's The Who who stole the show
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:36, archived)

'ning everyone, long time no see
Live 8 was good for the last 40 minutes or so, The Who, PF, and McCartney.
The rest was very meh.
U2 / McCartney singing Sgt Pepper was really bad, imho, they would've been better getting the Quo to open with Rocking all over the world again.

any opinions on PF touring again on the back of such an astounding appearance?
( just mike, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:37, archived)

No, but I have an opinion
that if Chris Martin ever attempts to sing any song with "rocking" in the title again, we tie him to a large stake and burn him
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:43, archived)

that was embarrasing to watch
almost as bad as seeing Peter Kay get the crowd to sing that song.
And was it just me, or did almost every band try and do a Freddie Mercury-esque crowd participation bit, and all fail miserably
( just mike, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:50, archived)

Robbie Williams managed it
In fact, he got the audience to do his set for him.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:06, archived)

I'm not a Robbie fan but I would've been pissed off with that.
You would want to hear him perform, not watch him with that smug grin on his face holding a mic into the crowd watching you singing his songs back at him.
I don't buy a CD of backing music so that I can sing the fucking songs, I want to hear the artist goddammit.
*clears throat*
sorry
( just mike, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 10:19, archived)

Is this a joke?
www.portlandmercury.com/2004-10-28/ex10.html
( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:50, archived)

that's sick

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:51, archived)

Not compared to those doing it for real, it's not.
'Ning.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:20, archived)

I have the tiiinyest little suspicion
that yes, it might in fact be a joke.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:55, archived)

can't be
cos jokes are funny
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:56, archived)

*smirk*

That's terrible! Ban this filth.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:07, archived)

Yes
and glasscock. (I think.)
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:23, archived)

gah!
I hate trying to get through to the cunting doctors' surgery on a Monday morning. twenty minutes so far of engaged tone apart from one ring tone that went to a recorded message* saying they were closed (they're supposed to open for appointments at 8.15am) and one where it rang and rang and rang. bastards!!

*message said: "we are now closed. if you have a life-threatening emergency, please call nine...nine...nine" as if speaking slowly for the number to be written down

[edit] ringing again, but not being answered...
[edit2] cunting answering machine again!!
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:37, archived)

Tried NHS direct
or do you need to make an appointment?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:40, archived)

I could try NHS24
(we don't have NHS Direct in Scotland any more) but they would most likely tell me to see a GP
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:41, archived)

I've had that problem
and I find it generally works better if you turn up at the surgery at doors open; the receptionists ignore phones a lot more readily than someone standing there.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:51, archived)

doesn't work here
I've been there in the waiting room and seen people try that and they've been sent away to phone in. it's crazy
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:52, archived)

So you could conceivably stand in reception, 2 feet away from the receptionist
and call on your mobile phone for an appointment?

The world's gone mad, I tell you.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:59, archived)

they'd probably tell you
there were none left for the day and to call again in the morning
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:00, archived)

Or tell you that mobile phones are not to be used
in doctors surgeries because of interfering with dialysis machines or kettles or something.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:02, archived)

Mindpiss.

( Druid, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:00, archived)

*mops ear*

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:02, archived)

I would stand at reception and call them on my mobile.

( Druid, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:00, archived)

*feels pulse*

Say Ahh! *looks in throat*

*listens to heart*

*gives lollipop for being a brave girl*
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:40, archived)

you want to look in my throat?
ok, my tonsils yesterday and today (not very nice really)
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:50, archived)

Ouch
tried gargling saltwater? but Tyrocaine (or Tyrozets) lozenges are the dog's bollocks for tonsilitis.

/had tonsilitis A Lot
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:56, archived)

I've tried the saltwater but it made me gag and then thow up
which wasn't nice. I'm taking strepsils, soothers, lemsip and honey and hot honey and lemonade. also ibuprofen when I can manage to swallow it.

it's a fucking public holiday today, that's why I can't get through. NHS24 it is then
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:59, archived)

Public holiday?
Has Telly Savalas Day come round again? It doesn't seem 2 minutes since the last one!
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:05, archived)

4th of July
doesn't everyone celebrate the Americans fucking off?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:06, archived)

coincidence
it's the first day of Trades
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:08, archived)

"Americans fucking off"?
When did that happen? They keep on coming back, like an irritating cousin.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:09, archived)

That's probably why
it's not an official holiday.

irritating inbred
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:11, archived)

*faints*
I'm assuming that white residue at the back of your throat isn't from recreational activities?
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:57, archived)

arf!

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:57, archived)

if only t'were that innoccuous
that's the infection
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 9:00, archived)

I'm a doctor!*
*may be is lies
( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:42, archived)

I understand.
I had to make a doctors appointment, so called and managed to get through at 8:45 (It opens at 8:30). The lady said that there were no more appointments for today, and I should call again tomorrow - I explained that I start work at 7:30, and have to drive nearly 2 hours to get there, I'd already lost one morning and couldn't I make an appointment for tomorrow now?

She said there was nothing she could do.

I think I'll just die of cancer, it's quicker.
( Druid, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:43, archived)

that's the problem
with these same-day appointment systems
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:46, archived)

I assume it's to meet government targets,
so no-one is waiting longer than a day because they don't let you make an appointment unless it's for the same day. That's probably not going to help people like me who have a worry but don't normally go to the doctor (ie men).

I'm lucky in that I get paid if I take a few hours off, but I know my boss will get mightily pissed off if I have to take mornings off all week on the off-chance I might get to see the doctor.
( Druid, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:53, archived)

my surgery does have
a few appointments bookable in advance so when I wanted one to take Mr V to I argued about him not being able to book time off work at short notice and they gave me an appointment for later in the week
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:55, archived)

Why did I open this link
this morning? postsecret.blogspot.com/

It's clever and touching





but hell am I depressed now.
( Beejay Proper old bastard, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:28, archived)

Seen it before
but it never fails to ruin my day.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:36, archived)

I like the style, but
damn...
(Harry, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 8:37, archived)