Oi
*waggles finger*
*gets back to 'work' *
( Hoohah Bibbly-bobbly-bubbly-snibbly wib-wib floppit., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

Stop waggling my finger
it makes me wee
(Experiment 626, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

*snogsnogsnogsnogsnog*

( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:06, archived)

racist

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:16, archived)

i know i asked earlier but..
ive got 2 spare tickets to see funeral for a friend at rock city in nottingham tonight.. any takers?
(icedragon, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:49, archived)

and the answer is still no
Try asking here www.b3ta.com/board
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

Or
www.funeralforafriend.com/board*


*not a real link, btw, but you get the idea

Edit: Real link: www.funeralforafriend.com/forum/
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:54, archived)

That has to be the most emo band name I've ever heard of.
I bet they make The Smiths sound like Slade by comparison.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

I want to know if they sound anything like Elton John.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

What does he sound like
when you fuck him ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

He's more of a giver, than a taker,
and grunts in much the same way as you. In fact, if I close my eyes, he could almost be you. MMMmmmmm... *fwap*
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:03, archived)

but with more hair?
edit: i have no idea how much hair woat has.
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

Not really.
He's covered with a soft fuzz, much like that of a peach.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:13, archived)

You deleted my reply
*takes it personally*

*Weeps*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:06, archived)

Did I? Sorry.
Nothing personal, you understand. What did it say?

*bums in the circle of life*

[edit: nevermind, I found it. In answer to your question, no - I pay small boys to touch my wife for me (well, I say pay, but, truth be told, they live in the cellar and do it in exchange for scraps of food).]
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:07, archived)

scraps of food and internet access.
can i have another breadcrust, mr munch?
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

*slaps*
Not until I hear that woman moan, damn it! And not about the state of the kitchen!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

I believe that they would be a parody
of an Emo band if they weren't so serious about it.

They may or may not wear eyeliner.

www.funeralforafriend.com/images/promo/12.jpg
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

OH HAR HAR MISTER EMO GITARRIST YOUY ARE WAERING YOUR DADYS IRON MAIDEN TSHIRT!!!
HOW 'IRON'IC!!! LOL!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

Pffffft :)
I do think I could take on the entire band though. They'd probably have a bit of a cry and then write a song about it.

They're a disgrace to that t-shirt.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

He bought the extra soft cotton one
because normal cotton rubs his skin and brings out his rash.


Probably.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:16, archived)

Push comes to shove,
most wearers of rock/metal band t-shirts, couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag, in my experience.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:17, archived)

That is sadly
very true :(
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:18, archived)

*dead arms*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:21, archived)

Pfft!
Funniest post all day!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

& YU LUK LIUKE A CUNTT
WITH TAHT 'BAERD 'LOL
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

thought i'd try again
different people reading and all that
..im not asking for money for these tickets btw, free to whoever wants them
(icedragon, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:55, archived)

Is there a cash alternative?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

who died and declared you arbiter of taste?

(Al__S is constantly suprised, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:07, archived)

Luther Vandross

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:08, archived)

pfft!

(Al__S is constantly suprised, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

They suck big time

( Sonic 2 and Knuckles, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

How do you be so short?

( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:24, archived)

Did you get your
message from hoohah yet?

www.b3ta.com/talk/620841
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:26, archived)

ive already dampened the cloth
And am biding my time
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:28, archived)

are you a priest?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:48, archived)

An acolyte of Cthulhu possibly

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:02, archived)

H.P. Lovecraft
Perhaps ?
(Experiment 626, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

Eehs,
Ahhs,
I don't know...
( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

*dons comma outfit*
*goes off to meet hoohah*
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:33, archived)

You keep your filthy hands off her.
She's alll mine.
( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:35, archived)

I dunno, shes probably only a matter of a few streets away from me
and her all alone in the scary city of Oxford....
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

i thought you were in oxford?
ninja bastard
( Ibstock, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:37, archived)

It wouldn't be half as scary
if it didn't have you in it.
( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

But thats the fun part:)

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

Give it back to Don
© 2002
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:40, archived)

Cut your fucking legs off, thicko.

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:26, archived)

Circular saw to the kneecaps,
did the trick for me.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:26, archived)

We have to stop meeting like this.

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:28, archived)

Perhaps we're soulmates?
:¬P
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:31, archived)

Comma! Comma!
Hoohah said she's never coming to Oxford again so don't bother calling her.

www.b3ta.com/talk/620841
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:27, archived)

I beat you
I'm the more caring, efficient, helpful and wonderful b3tan ever. So there.

*sigh* I think I'm bored today.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:30, archived)

Are you still bleeding from the cunt?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:35, archived)

That's no way to talk about Fenris!
Tsk.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

Hahahaha
thank you :)
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

"Victim of domestic violence?
Still bleeding from the cunt?

Call Mykey's Domestic Violence Helpline and be told to shut up or you'll get another one."
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:37, archived)

They only get the bruises if they have to be told twice
I sure you dealt a few blows to missus catfish when you rolled in drunk the other night, and no doubt she deserved it!
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

Too right.
Bitch was askin' too many question and had to give her a slap.

"Did you have a nice time?"
"Do you want another drink or would you rather go to bed?"
"Do you mind if I fetch an attractive female friend round and we have a threesome?"

Too many questions...
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:46, archived)

If she werent knocked up
I would ask to borrow your wife sir.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

You, sir,
are showing an unhealthy obsession with ladies' reproductive cycles.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:50, archived)

Pssst!



I find it better than hurling abuse at minorities.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:53, archived)

This is true
and women deserve all the abuse they get
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:06, archived)

You did. Yesterday.

Well, you offered your services to knock her up again, anyway...

She declined, by the way.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

I'm going to
send you a package one of these days.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

As shall i madam
As shall i..
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Sandpaper
on the headboard of my bed.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:28, archived)

At a cousin's wedding when I was younger,
we noticed that said cousin was a little thin on top. Dad turns to me and whispers "denim headboard" - I had to think about it for a while!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

OK
I give up. EH??
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 15:00, archived)

I dunno, I just am...
it makes buying trousers difficult because apparently you can only have short legs if you are also fat or really really skinny...at least in Slough anyway...

anyway, its useful cos I'm just the right size to hide in people's pockets...
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

All fat people have short legs.
Surely you knew this?
( toxie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:31, archived)

well yes
but I'm not particularly fat and I need trousers too and I can't sew to save my life (not even with a sweing machine) which pretty much puts just taking up a hem out...
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

And everyone over 6'2
is a greedy fat cunt.

/things I have learned while clothes shopping
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

I learnt that any women over 5'8''
are under a size 16.
madness.
( toxie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

Whereas
for some unknown reason, most size 10 clothes are the right length for Dutch women, but God knows who else.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

And any men under 5' are Oompa Loompas

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

Orange?

( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

The future's bright,
the future's Veritas?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:59, archived)

Someone has sent me an irritating
Dingbat style spreadsheet-quiz.
I nearly finished it and then got stuck.
Any ideas for this one?:

T O   C H
    U

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

You are out of touch.

( Bob Todd whee, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:12, archived)

I think that's a little harsh...
He's trying his best
( debar - Lord High Expositioner, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

sounds
correct
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

Yes.
It was this.
Thank you.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

Niet problemski, comrade.
Post the others, peas? I want a go.
( Bob Todd whee, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:17, archived)

I've sent you it in an email,
as I can't be bothered to type them out.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

Fankoo.

( Bob Todd whee, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

Sooooooookay.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:30, archived)

So you'll get in trouble if I reply to your work email,
but not if you post on b3ta?

Odd workplace.
( Bob Todd whee, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

Where is the "are" in it though
if that makes sense, otherwise I agree.
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:16, archived)

Actually it should be
You is out of touch, aieee.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

innit

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:24, archived)

You are out of time.
(or whatever the next line in that song was)
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:16, archived)

You're out of touuch
I go out of my head when you're not a-rouuund

(or however it goes)
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:19, archived)

Mind the piss!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

*slips*
*lands heavily on back*
*gets concussion*

I actually did this when I was younger, although not with piss. I slipped over on a large quantity of spilt orange juice in the supermarket and managed to fall with such force that I got a concussion.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:25, archived)

Soft lad!
I assume that you are now living fat off the compensation payout?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

"Dingbat style"?
I'm afraid I don't understand.

However, it would seem that he or she wants to touch you down below.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:13, archived)

Haha
I thought that.

Roy Walker would have a fit.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

It's close. But it's not right.

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:16, archived)

Catchfreeze, then.
Same difference.

Any ideas on the final one?
It's a square with the word 'JUST' written inside the bottom right hand corner.
The corners are rounded ones, and the writting is rounded too, but I don't know if this is significant or not.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:19, archived)

just round the corner

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:22, archived)

Probably this.
Is JUST written at an angle so it goes around the corner?
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

YES!
It was 'just around the corner' to be precise.
Thank you!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:25, archived)

Something about a rounded bottom
and 'just right' I expect.

Mmmmmmm, bottoms :)
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:22, archived)

Shitshitshit... I know this one...




Ah!.. 'Every Loser Wins' by Nick Berry?
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

Say what you see.
'A smug Irish cunt!'
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

Dingbats were puzzles in newspapers
a bit like Catchphrase puzzles, but usually with words not pictures, and occasionally actually requiring some puzzling out.
There was a Trivial Pursuit-like board game at one point too.
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

Oh, right.
Sounds awful.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:24, archived)

Tis.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:26, archived)

mongobongo,
not only are you a cheating cunt, you're also a deletering cunt.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:04, archived)

Que pasa?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:05, archived)

"¿Qué pasa?"
was used in the Spanish dubs of the Budweiser "Whazzuup?" commercials.

/Today's pointless fact.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

Ta

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:08, archived)

"¿Qué pasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?"
I think you'll find...
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:09, archived)

True.
Thanks for the clarification.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

CONTROVERSY!!
what was it about?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:06, archived)

I missed that,
but must salute the boy's ingenuity.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:06, archived)

The half-amusing thing is
I wasn't upset about the cheating, but rather about the deleting.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:09, archived)

Checking the QOTW
it's not even original. Spatula done it first, and better.
( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:12, archived)

Does the link go to a place we should not go to (whilst at work)?

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

No.
It goes to the 'I like this!' button on his/her rather boring QoTW reply.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:12, archived)

I didn't think the 'I like this' link actually did much.
I don't think the response is newslettered (
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

The responses with the most clicks of the 'I Like This!' link
are on the front page of that particular question when it's closed.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:18, archived)

Are they?
I thought they were hand-picked by the Magic Hedgehog with a head-dobber.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

No, you're getting them confused with the ones in the newsletter
which are picked by the Magic Donkey. The Magic Hedgehog is only the work experience kid, so he only gets to type it all in.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

When the QOTW ends,
the replies with the most votes get put on the "Best" page, and two or three of these will get a mention in the newsletter (most of the time).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:19, archived)

*brandishes warhammer +2/+4 vs Cunts*
Want me to smite him?



muststopbeingsogeeky!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:08, archived)

Feel the might of Incendo!


/Lvl 33 Natural Scrapper
/Sorry:(
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

Is this CoH?
I finally deleted my install of SWG today *sniff*

There's supposed to a MMORPG of D&D Forgotten Realms (same campaign setting as I used to run and was used for Baldur's Gate and Neverwinter Nights) coming out at some point. I think when this happens I will quit my job and shun all real life contact.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

I demand you buy Coh!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:16, archived)

Certainly not while the summer is here
and it really doesn't appeal to me, dunno why. I'd think about WoW but I know how much time I spent playing SWG last year and as I have a bike I like being out on at the mo I'm going to steer clear of anything until the weather gets worse!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:18, archived)

Haha
Don't stop, and you may have half a chance of keeping a character alive for more than one evening ;)
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

It's looking unlikely
He's not doing it on purpose but he's getting through about 2 characters a session at the moment. If he does it again I will sulk and stamp my foot!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:19, archived)

An unoriginal
cheating, deletering cunt.
( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:13, archived)

Yay I had the winner of the 1.55!
But Cool Creek never placed :(
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:59, archived)

bollocks
what won? Ladbrokes.com is being slow.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:00, archived)

Ivan Denisovich.
I steered clear of Cool Creek at 34-1!
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:02, archived)

Belle Encore in the 2:15 at Lingfield.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:05, archived)

You bastard!
I put the Christmas Club money on Cool Creek because of your hearty endorsement.

How am I going to tell the wife and kids that Santa won't be visiting this year? The wife's written a letter to him already!
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:05, archived)

I know of
a fucking donkey going cheap.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

You know of
a cheap donkey to fuck? Where?
( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

Abi Titmuss?

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:18, archived)

You can all kiss my pasty white spotty arse.
*goes postal*
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:54, archived)

*delivers*

( Jobe, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

what
you've been painted red, and then not delivered due to insufficient stamps?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

can
there not be a second choice ?
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

Doubtless, it will arrive whilst I'm out,
and I'll have to pick it up from the depot.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:57, archived)

which is convinently open
from 4 in the morning till 2 in the afternoon
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:59, archived)

*airmails anal*

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:57, archived)

*stamps*

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:57, archived)

We can,
but which of us will ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

You can all take your Month End and shove it up your
pox infected jacksie.

*goes parcel-force*
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:02, archived)

*never delivers camera to Giant Bunny*

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

And you can shove your IPO in Sri Lanka
up there with it.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

quote from T.Blair on hearing the olympic news...
"I went for a walk and got a call from the switchboard. It's not often in this job that you punch the air and do a little jig and embrace the person next to you. It's a fantastic thing and I'm thrilled.
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

heard
the same thing from the bloke who runs the morticians about when maggie thatcher dies.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:48, archived)

it was the other way round when prescott was told

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:48, archived)

arf!

(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

Haha!

( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

"It's not often in this job that you punch the person next to you and do a little air and embrace the jig"

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:48, archived)

The gay

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:49, archived)

this

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

"the"
You mean there's only one of them ?

Who does he bum ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:53, archived)

voley hobbits,
they have no willys so don't count
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:55, archived)

GAZ IM ME
I have only brief access to the cuddly warm glow of b3ta:
COMMA! I am in Oxford, and I'm going into Oxford city for dinner tonight. If you want to meet up email me before 6pm. Otherwise get Malchick to text me (he has my number).

Can someone makes sure she gets that? Cheers.
Right, better get back to work. *Bums*
( Hoohah Bibbly-bobbly-bubbly-snibbly wib-wib floppit., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:32, archived)

*cordons off oxford*
*releases the marmots*
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:34, archived)

*sidles up*


*winks*
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:35, archived)

*Smiles like a dirty uncle*

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:35, archived)

Dirty Uncle Fenris?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:36, archived)

it's leet o'clock :)

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:37, archived)

*runs*

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:38, archived)

well
she is female with a pulse, thats gotta be a bonus.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:40, archived)

*ph34r5 |_|r t1|\/|3k33p1|\|n9*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:39, archived)

Can you tell me
what the fuck "GAZ IM ME" means ?

I ask because you seem "l33t as fcuk"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:42, archived)

It's from an old version of the
b3ta FAQ* which mentioned something about not posting useless threads like "GAZ, IM ME" (i.e., 'Gary, please Instant Message me.')

*Hello new person. Please read our FAQ. Cheers.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:44, archived)

Gareth
please contact me via an instant message program as soon as is convienent.
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

Hello new person. Please read our FAQ. Cheers.

'cept it's not there any more :(
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

The poster of "GAZ IM ME,"
is keen to assert their identity, for the benfit of the "GAZ" individual. Sadly, however, their lack of punctuation led everyone to interpret the post as a request for "GAZ" to make contact with the poster, using an Instant Messenger service.

So, you wana cyba?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:46, archived)

|-|4 |-|4

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

You scare me
*is scared*
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:48, archived)

Everytime I type in "leet speak,"
I die a little inside.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:50, archived)

Cool Creek
1.55 at Newmarket, worth a place apparantely.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

place slipping a length in

/bestiality blog
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:23, archived)

I've got a four horse accumulator going..
Mr.Vegas - 1:20 Newmarket
Mister Benedictine - 2:50 Lingfield
Celestial Princess - 7:00 Carlise
Cheerleader - 7:30 Carlise

Wish me luck!
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

best of
if it comes off, you owe me a pint.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

Mr.Vegas won anyway...

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:28, archived)

christ at 20-1 I might have a punt
what you heard?
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

a whisper
I got 25's so it's being backed in. I aint promising nowt you know.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:27, archived)

no worries
when I say "I might have a punt" I mean a couple of quid!
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:28, archived)

it has bionic limbs

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:27, archived)

and a ballistic missile shoved up it's jacksy

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:30, archived)

and go faster stripes painted on in PCP

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:33, archived)

and a bangin' £5K ICE system

and neon lights on it's underside
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:42, archived)

It's only a fifth of the odds on skybet....the bastards.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:27, archived)

Ivan Denisovich to win!

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:34, archived)

No neeeeeeed
Im winning the lottery tonight

FACT
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:27, archived)

Don't forget your friends
*nuzzles*
( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:28, archived)

Don't forget your REAL friends
*grabs ankles*
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:36, archived)

Can he make friends with colonials?
Don't forget your lefty white, British friends.
( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:39, archived)

Whereas I will be winning the badminton
100% Not as good.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:30, archived)

*prays it gets won by an unemployed asian lesbian*

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:34, archived)

Someone
was asking on here for funding for a theatre production, would you donate?
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:37, archived)

*snicker*

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:38, archived)

Im not paying for some weak wristed gayo production of my fair lady
I shall donate to the Uk horror film industry instead
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:39, archived)

Not the
Estonian underground porn industry?
( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:41, archived)

Porn
in mines and wells is rubbish, it's too dark.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:42, archived)

Lesbo rather than thesbo eh?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:42, archived)

Rumours circulating on the Intercock
that the queen personally sucked off every member of the IOC to secure the Olympics for London.

And people have the cheek to moan about the royals !
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

well she has the cheek,
full of filthy forrin spooge
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

Phil the Greek?

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

*sigh*
the queen my mum
member of the IOC tramp in the South East
the Olympics for London her place in the Guinness Book of Tramp Sucking Records
And people have the cheek to moan about the royals ! My anus welcomes man-cock. Welshers preferred but not essential
( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

everything you ever said I love teh cock
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

*applauds*

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:28, archived)

You're too kind

( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:29, archived)

*applauds*

( Fergburger, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:28, archived)

applauds appalls
( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:30, archived)

appalls apples
( Fergburger, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:31, archived)

apples arf
( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:33, archived)

MSN's borked again.
I blame the snow.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:08, archived)

I'm jacking one of these pointless threads
to ask does anyone know about ITIL. and can any one explain the fundamentals to me in a few paragraphs?

/lazy
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:10, archived)

i've no idea what ITIL even stands for.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:11, archived)

I Tickle Irascible Lesbians

( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:17, archived)

I Touch Intimate Labradors

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:19, archived)

I Tongue Irish Labias

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

impotent teviot incestual love

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:23, archived)

I Think I'm Lactating

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

I Twat Irritating Literati...

( debar - Lord High Expositioner, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

I Taste Icky Today

( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

Italians
Tell Iraqis Lies
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

Lo Stati Uniti non desidera il vostro olio.
?
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:40, archived)

Ian Tormenting Indian Lepers

( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:22, archived)

I Train Illiterate Libyans...

( debar - Lord High Expositioner, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

is that the one that's provides a cohesive set of best practice, drawn from the public and private sectors internationally.
It is supported by a comprehensive qualifications scheme, accredited training organisations, and implementation and assessment tools. The best practice processes promoted in ITIL support and are supported by, the British Standards Institution's standard for IT service Management (BS15000)


no, I can't
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

I think so.
Can you teach me everything about it in this one thread please?
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:13, archived)

Yes,
quote £4000 then charge £18 million do to unforeseen circumstances.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

Sweet
Sounds good enough to me!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:16, archived)

no, as that was a c&p from
www.ogc.gov.uk/index.asp?id=2261
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:16, archived)

Yeah that was the site I looked
at but then got scraed by all the words.

Ah well, the company are sending me on a training course in September so I guess I'll learn something then!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

Have you started your new job yet?

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

August 1st
at which point I may have to haul my arse off here for a few weeks!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:29, archived)

Inner Testicle Icky Lesions ?
Dirty bastard.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

That was rather poor.
Try harder.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:19, archived)

Mine is working fine.

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

Are you complaining about
people starting content-free threads there?
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:19, archived)

Why in Paris
are they playing the theme to Goldfinger?
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

Because a) he's a man,
A man with the Midas Touch,
Ain't that too much?

or

b) They're a bunch of spackers
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:08, archived)

DON'T HAVE SEX, EVER, YOU'LL DIE. But on the plus side, here comes MC Hammer.
/ac
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:11, archived)

That reads like a Bill Hicks mis-quote
The one about "Don't do drugs, kids. Look... here's MC Hammer..."
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:18, archived)

Actually, it's quite an accurate Bill Hicks quote...
edit: or maybe it was Dylan Moran. I thought it was Bill Hicks though...
( debar - Lord High Expositioner, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

Is it? Very good, Reidsan.
Carry on.

Say the one about reading in a waffle house...
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:23, archived)

It's Dylan Moran.
But please bear in mind at all times it's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedoms. Thank you.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:22, archived)

b.

(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

they need it to drown out the tears

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:10, archived)

I've alwas though that Bernard Butler
was quite good, but Brett Anderson's lyrics are terribly banal.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

*groan*
Terrible but true!
Don't any of you people here have any work to do?
(the funky gibbon, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:19, archived)

No,
but I'm sure you do.
(3 days to go!)
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

You lucky so and so.
Well, I can't hang around, I'm a busy important person with busy important things to do.
Like, er, finding some tin openers for the kitchens!
See ya later.
(the funky gibbon, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:29, archived)

Ta-ra!
Say hello to the rest of SO19, for me.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:32, archived)

*slap*
(I agree)
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

I may have to retract that comment.
The more I think about it, the more meaning I can find in "la la la".
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:27, archived)

* slaps own arse with a mike stand*

*wiggles*

*simpers*


/may have watched Suede in Nottingham just after they released The Drowners. Great gig; we ducked backstage afterwards and ate their food, for good measure.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:22, archived)

What food?
I though Suede existed on a diet of heroin?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:30, archived)

anyone in London
worried about the huge increases in their council tax now the bids been won?
(Pope Benedict XVI, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:05, archived)

no,
but then I don't live in london
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:06, archived)

that's why I moved out of the Great Filthy Termite mound last year - the congestion charge was the last straw for me
(Pope Benedict XVI, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:10, archived)

Oh, joy, a lovely little present to give me.
Fifteen years old and suddenly the rest of my life becomes more expensive. Hoo fucking ray.

Anyone want to start a Fuck The Bid campaign?
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

depend on if she still has her own teeth

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

You're a bit late for that
They've already awarded it to London.

Still, at least your kids will have lots of athletic resources to keep them fit & healthy in years to come...
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:11, archived)

Fucking hooray.
My kids are going to grow up like me. On the internet.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

No
Infact I'm quite smug.

I mean, shame that the money couldn't be used for something more worth while, but anything that annoys London is alright by me...
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:08, archived)

Anything that annoys
London & France I think you mean
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

Ahh yes.
Of course.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

This is like a win wrapped in a win!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:10, archived)

It's not just going to be London that pays for it.
Grrr.
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

*tries to care*

*fails*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

We beat the French.

( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

You cold,
unfeeling bastard.

What are you not caring about?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

we won
edit. and you know what that means!!


we get the SPECIAL olympics as well!
*belms*
( Ibstock, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:50, archived)

w00t!

( Jobe, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:50, archived)

fuck.
:(
(basstard, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:52, archived)

Arse. I hate sport.
Blimey, looks like news.bbc.co.uk has fallen over.
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:52, archived)

I hate sports too
but I found the Sydney Olympics quite enjoyable.

Edit: as I mentioned below, the Paralympics are amazing. Here you could go along for $10 a day and see any events you liked. Assuming the Olympic facilities are nearby, of course.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:53, archived)

Fine for me...
Do we get the specials because of this - I thought the specials was on in Glasgow at the moment?
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:53, archived)

They are
It's not an international event - although there are a few foreign athletes involved.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

is it right that when
the bbc website goes down, i immediately turned to b3ta/talk to get my news?
( Fergburger, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:53, archived)

Mykey starts hitting the side of his
head, crying and screaming "The voices have left me! I am so alone!"
( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:55, archived)

winning on the internet is like an olympics full of specials,
or something...
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:53, archived)

Well that's a shit load of money
our more needy citizens wont see.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:53, archived)

Indeed.

( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:58, archived)

I think you'll find that's called "the ministry of defence"

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

but now they'll be able to train for running away from the police

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:04, archived)

Erm
The Special Olympics is on right now in Glasgow.

*belm*
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:53, archived)

Exactly.
And its all over BBC Scotland... like saliva over a window.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

err
look over there....
BAH WOONS
( Ibstock, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

the race to the dole office?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:57, archived)

It would be the Paralympics
as they coincide with the Olympics.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:57, archived)

They're a slightly different
type of event. Paralympics is for people with physical disabilities.

The Special Olympics is for people with learning disabilities.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

Ah I thought the paralympics
was for airbourne infantry soldiers only...
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

that's para as in "against"
rather than para as in "beside"

/robin

in fact it's a misuse of para as in "against"

/robin²
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:18, archived)

I am utterly confused
But despite my earlier jest I've never quite understood the para- prefix to military, medic etc. Care to enlighten me?


Edit: And what about parachute, paranoid and paraplegic? I'm off to Wiktionary.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

parachute is of the "against" type
as in "against falling" (from the french chuter)
(similarly parasol and parapluie are against the sun and rain respectively)

paraplegic comes from "beside" ... as in one side of you is fucked (may not be a perfect translation from the greek)

parascending means "against ascending" so should mean being dragged behind a boat with an anvil tied to your feet
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:29, archived)

Got you
so is para-medic and para-military the "beside" type? I guess so.

Wiktionary was shite but dictionary.com came up with

1. Beside; near; alongside: parathyroid.
2. Beyond: paranormal.
3. Incorrect; abnormal: paresthesia.
4. Similar to; resembling: paratyphoid fever.
5. Subsidiary; assistant: paraprofessional.

Ah, that last one explains the military/medic and now I think about it paralegal one as well.

Ta. Learn something knew every day.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:32, archived)

I understand the difference,
and my understanding is that the Special Olympics operates on a regional level unlike the Paralympics, which operates on a global level and is directly tied to the Olympics in terms of where it is held. In the context of the announcement, I made a presumption that the mention of the Special Olympics was confusion over the difference between the Special Olympics and the Paralympics.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:17, archived)

the
special olympics as well!!! great i should get a shag then.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:53, archived)

Two world wars and one world cup?
You, my friend, are living in the past.
[edit: Oh, right, The Olympics. I couldn't really care either way, although I can't shake the nagging doubt that it's all just a a big drain on the economy of the host country.]
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:58, archived)

Won? In what respect?
It's like the Manchester United fans "winning" Malcolm Glaser as owner of the club.

/will probably warm to the idea of much-needed cash going into white elephant stadia and 'Olympic Villages' - leaving schools, public services and the disadvantaged wanting. God, I'm a cynical and unpatriotic bastard. Yay! We won!
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:00, archived)

nah
thats called being realistic,something the ruling brigade try to avoid as it means dealing with problems.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:02, archived)

I bet we don't win the Olympic bid.


Edit:// Fuck, we did.
( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:45, archived)

no bet.
if it's in france, a perfect excuse to take a longer holiday, so it's win-win.

london olympics = bad.
france olympics = good.
(basstard, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:46, archived)

I don't care.
I'd deliberately not find out for the next seven years, but it's too much effort.
( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:46, archived)

Try and do it,
and blog it for a 2011 Newsletter.
( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:47, archived)

well if we don't you can console yourself with the fact we won't have to pay for the fucker
and the bill might drive France to suicide
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:47, archived)

Who's this "we", paleface?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:47, archived)

I
have to be honest and say that I would not shed any tears if we did or did not win the bid as the only decent olympics was the munich one in 1977 er 72 oh the one spielberg is making into a film..
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:48, archived)

Because of the Palestinian contribution?

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:50, archived)

it
had a shooty type element to it yes.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:51, archived)

Munich 1972.
/pedantic, probably missing some subtle joke
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:56, archived)

nah
your right I only got the place right although for me even thats a bonus.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:58, archived)

I'm hoping Paris get it
it'll be another excuse for us to go en masse and trash france again a la 1998 (World Cup) and 1415 (Agincourt)
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:49, archived)

Not forgetting February 2004
Dave Rees's Stag Do/Booze Cruise.

They didn't know what hit 'em that weekend.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:53, archived)

We won it

( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:49, archived)

I cant actually think of anything I care less about
The Olympics is boring shite
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:49, archived)

winter olympics are great,
I'd love to see them try and cram all the events onto one slope up in aviemore
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:51, archived)

Whenever the winter olympics are on, every man and his dog
becomes a self styled expert on ice dance. What on earth is that about?
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

All at the same time!

( Newington, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:55, archived)

What's the one where you ski and shoot?
I'd prefer that if you were allowed to take pot shots at the slower skiers.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

It's just a biathlon event where they combine cross country skiing
with marksmanship.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

I'd be quite happy if another country gets it.
It'll only be another excuse for Londoners to crawl further up their own insular arses in the belief that the entire universe revolves around them.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:49, archived)

they don't need an excuse

(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

you lose

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:50, archived)

Having the Olympics is nice
and it's really quite good if you can get along to an event. But it is quite a lot of inconvenience wrapped in an enormous amount of media hype.

To be honest, seeing the Paralympics is better than the Olympics because tickets are reasonably priced whereas Olympics tickets are hideously expensive and impossible to get.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:50, archived)

WE GOT IT
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:50, archived)

Have we?
BBC News webpage keeps on timing out on me.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

ah!
...i'm sorry, i... i've just come.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:27, archived)

thats
all well and good mr smith but precisely how is that going to help samantha pass her geology gcse ?
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:30, archived)

Because I am rock hard?

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:33, archived)

igneous or sedimentary?
cumingtonite?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:34, archived)

igneous
as its harder, the sedimentry stuff just washes away after a while.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:37, archived)

And formed by the heat of my passion

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:39, archived)

cake

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:40, archived)

From Woat talking about his pee-pee?

On that subject - I heard the new Eminem tune on the wireless last night and it was possibly one of the worst songs that I've heard for a long time.

I'm not a fan of his, but this one is extremely bad - even for him!
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:33, archived)

I remember when he used to be black.
He was pretty good back then.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:37, archived)

he kept my chimmney in good nick too

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:40, archived)

You're thinking of Al Jolson
Emineminstrel
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:44, archived)

Oof!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:48, archived)

Been away from the KB for a few mins
and missed replying to Fenris's post (inches and inches below here) about tall people.

The truth is, in my experience, being bigger just makes it look smaller in comparison to the rest of you.

In other news, Luther Vandross is dead.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:22, archived)

If you're fat
it gets all buried and therefore shorter.

Aprt from that, I tell you they're all pretty much the same.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:26, archived)

I am heartened by this news

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:27, archived)

Hmmm
Jenna Jameson said differently in an interview, and im not sure who to believe ;P
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:27, archived)

I've had her
she was shit
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:28, archived)

She was less than kind about you as well
I think the phrase "cock like a mouses tongue" was mentioned.
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:31, archived)

I am glad to suffer that insult
in the name of collecting a fucking good euphamism for a small winky
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:32, archived)

My current favourite
is "Hung like a Japanese Mouse".
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:33, archived)

Pfft!

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:38, archived)

How would you know what
they are all like?

...oh yeah... sorry... carry on...
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:28, archived)

this would be true
apart from the fact that it's false
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:28, archived)

The phrase
'pretty much' is a bit of a caveat ;)
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:30, archived)

It's what you do with it that counts, surely?
Or was training mine to dane the macarena, a total waste of effort?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:32, archived)

"Dane" the macarena ?
Is this some sort of gay Shakespearian reference in an effort to get us all thinking you're clever and worldly ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:34, archived)

Er,
um, *shuffles feet* er, yes, yes, that's it, it can quote lines from Hamlet and dance at the same time.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:36, archived)

who?

( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:26, archived)

I think people are generally
in proportion so a taller man will generally be bigger but in proportion will be exactly the same. Tbh my knowledge of penis varieties is not fantastic (barring watching a lot of smut). In general I'm just happy mine doesn't bend off at a weird angle like some I've seen!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:28, archived)

this
except it only affects the size of the limp cock. Taller men are more likely to have a shower rather than a grower.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:29, archived)

See
in my experience, you're totally wrong.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:31, archived)

no offence my dear ginger one
but that sounds very much like a big pile of old swallop
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:33, archived)

I think
that I'm rather the other way round but I may be wrong.


Edit: I'm guessing you're short(ish).
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:35, archived)

you mean yours shrinks?

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:38, archived)

:P
No I just mean that I tend to he happier with mine at attention than not if you catch my drift. However real life comparison is always a bit tricky so I really don't know.

The one time I've been naked and aroused in a room with another naked aroused man (if you don't know this story just make up what ever details you think best) I can't say I was shown up at all... However we could just both have been tiny (or huge!).
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:44, archived)

For the sake of my sanity,
I'll assume that you were in a sauna, and some unfortunate towel slippage occured. Trying to work out why you were aroused, will only upset one (or both) of us.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:51, archived)

3 some
involving his wife.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:55, archived)

You are a creation of the letters page in Fiesta,
and not real in any way.
Real life is never that exciting.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:01, archived)

Having the anecdote
is probably a lot better than the actual experience and this philosophy explains a lot of events in my life.

To be fair it took about 6 months of them pestering and an awful amount of speed before I did it anyway.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 13:08, archived)

It's difficult to tell when you're so far away?
(there may be truth to this ... I've got size 12 feet but they look perfectly dainty from up here)
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:38, archived)

You're thinking
of thalidomide arms.

Not cocks.

*thinks he's seen the same film*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:30, archived)

Just tell people they are standing too far away.
When they come in for a closer look, shove it down their throat, it will then feel appreciably bigger.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:30, archived)

if
its that much of a concern just get to know women with small hands.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:32, archived)

*resists*

( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:34, archived)

Oh for the love of fuck
my hands are not that fucking small!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:37, archived)

Mine are :P

Edit: I even got a white wristband with my Big Issue this week, and it's too big for me and keeps slipping off.
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:38, archived)

put
both hands in and use it as a cheap set of cuffs.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:42, archived)

I just tried this at my desk
I can get both wrists in, but it's a bit budget isn't it.. ;)
( Dekazer, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:44, archived)

compassionate bondage
it's the future of charidee
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:45, archived)

Not only do we provide aid to the impoverished starving of Africa
but bondage gear too.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:46, archived)

oh
it depends on the occasion after all if its a bit adhoc then its pretty nifty idea :)
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:46, archived)

you're probably just evolving
to cope with the small keyboards of modern wireless communication devices

be proud!
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:44, archived)

Always makes me laugh when I see huge
fat contractors with huge fat hands trying to use their latest tiny mobile phones :D
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:46, archived)

Hi,
Can anyone recommend a good Photoshop CS tutorial book. I'm not too bad at using Photoshop but I'm looking to improve. Any serious suggestions would me much appreciated.
(I'm afraid of wet bread, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:13, archived)

had
a look at some over the weekend and they didnt add that much to the old photoshop books aside from some bits that could be picked up on online hints and tips.Best bet would be to see if you can find any discounted pre-cs shop guides.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:15, archived)

Thanks
I don't have internet access at home right now so I'm looking for a book where if I want tips on making fur for example, I can just refer to it...
(I'm afraid of wet bread, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:20, archived)

Tips on making fur ?
Kill baby seals and steal it. No need to make it.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:24, archived)

He could be a vegetarian, Woat.
See?.. You just don't think these things through - what he'll need is knitting patterns, not baby seals.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:29, archived)

My dad bought one over the weekend but I haven't had a chance
to cast my gaze over it. He got it for £10 from a local computer fair and I think the RRP was around £38. I would definitely suggest trade fairs for picking up new books like that at bargain prices.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:18, archived)

I like
your username.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:20, archived)

I like
your thighs.
( Geordie Al, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:26, archived)

You were once known as Keith David?
Did you think it sounded silly and changed it to David Keith?

PS CS Books - I not never learned nothing from no book. Books is bad. Just another case of The Man wanting you to do things His way. Sorry, can't help you.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 12:27, archived)