Inspired (as ever) by an earlier post, regarding Game of Life
(you can be a winner at the ga-ame of life!)

What obscure/not so obscure boardgames do you remember and did you enjoy in your "youth"?
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:58, archived)

settlers of Kataaan!

( Whythebigpaws?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:59, archived)

best boardgame ever
except there's never enough bricks.
( edric, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)

Murder in the Dark
(did this exist?)
( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:59, archived)

It was nothing but a yuletide excuse to feel up my older female cousins to me.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

and me!

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

I think so... wasn't it the one where you got tapped on the shoulder
when the lights were out by "the murderer" to be "killed".

I don't remember much more though
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:01, archived)

Something like that
weird hidden repressed memories
( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:02, archived)

You then had to identify the killer by asking everybody questions
and the killer was supposed to tell at least one lie.

Then you turned the lights off and groped a bit more.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:03, archived)

Brown owl made us play that at Brownies.
A lot.
( ImNotRightBotheredMe fool, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:05, archived)

Brown arse made me do it

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)

I've recently rediscovered booby trap.
Which is actually a rather ace and addictive game.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

y trap ies

damn right!
( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

Tsk.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

does it involve bear traps and your mums bras?

( MONO!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

No.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:01, archived)

hello
you?
( MONO!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:02, archived)

Maybe, you?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:02, archived)

not really
why?
( MONO!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:04, archived)

mouse trap!

( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:01, archived)

*eyes you suspiciously*

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:02, archived)

your game reminded me of my game
www.hasbro.com/objects/products/pl/product_id.9461/dn/print.cfm
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)

I had an 'Aliens' board game
that was quite fun
( MONO!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

'Which Way Please?' was the badger's nadgers

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

Atmosfear

( moohalaa, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

oh god
i wanted that so badly.
along with domino-rally.
( Whythebigpaws?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:01, archived)

I used to be shit-scared of the video guy on it
and as it got further through the hour, how he got more makeup on
to look more sinister and evil.
( moohalaa, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:05, archived)

I had both atmosphere and that pirate one too

( MONO!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:05, archived)

Oh good Lord this

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:03, archived)

Never much into boardgames
Monopoly or srabble in our house = FIGHT

TJ: am I imagining things, or did Bou just post some breasts on the main board, which promptly disappeared?
( Scoff Cruddle you would, wouldn't you?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

Has she gone
*whistles and makes 'loopy' symbol by side of head* again?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:04, archived)

It is just possible
I'm just checking all this palaeotology hasn't gotten to me and I'm not seeing things.
( Scoff Cruddle you would, wouldn't you?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:05, archived)

Were these they?
www.b3ta.com/board/6729760
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:11, archived)

Yup
Them's the puppies
( Scoff Cruddle you would, wouldn't you?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:14, archived)

Is she still here, or did posting a picture of her tits on the board result in yet another banning?
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:18, archived)

I was trying to work out whether they were her tits or not
Then decided that that way madness lies
( Scoff Cruddle you would, wouldn't you?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:21, archived)

Ghost Castle
It had a glowing skull thingy
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

I HAD THAT!

( Whythebigpaws?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:01, archived)

SAME HERE!
I don't know what happened to it :(
( MONO!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:03, archived)

LOOOOOOK!
www.kiddstoys.co.uk/gostcstle.htm
( Whythebigpaws?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:06, archived)

You can still buy it online!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:04, archived)

blimey!
i loved that game.
*goes off to look*
( Whythebigpaws?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:05, archived)

Conquer everest
Looked like a big grey pyramid, you went round in circle collecting burkahs and equip then climbed to the top to win.


it was shit
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

Escape from Atlantis!
Took longer to setup than to play.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:01, archived)

And promptly sank without trace after it's release?

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:02, archived)

Totopoly.
Racing and betting game. Took eighteen hours. Required turning the board over half way through. Was exceptionally dull and it was never entirely clear who had won or why.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:02, archived)

Sounds like how I imagine sex with PB.
Not that I imagine that.
*shudders*
( ImNotRightBotheredMe fool, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:03, archived)

Busted!
INRBM & P_B
Sitting in a tree
B-O-R,
I-N-G!
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:07, archived)

I have Sorry! in my cupboard.
We used to play Polo, British Bulldog, & Blockie at school. Not that they are boardgames, but I can't remember any others.
( ImNotRightBotheredMe fool, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:02, archived)

i've had Kerplunk as a child and an adult
it was much more fun as a child
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:02, archived)

Labyrinth

( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:02, archived)

Careers
Omnigon (faster than chess, more challenging than checkers) - still play it with the kids.
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:02, archived)

Careers was fantastic :)

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:06, archived)

Snakes And Ladders
with real snakes and broken ladders. I laughed 'till I stopped.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:03, archived)

MOUSETRAP!
SCREWBALL SCRAMBLE!
MARBLE MADNESS!
( prem1um is full of life, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:03, archived)

Drunken Dino, or Clumsy Dinocunt, or Stumbly mactyrannosaurus death time
was great with the clumsy dinosaur spinny destruction monster!
( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:03, archived)

Trivial pursuit
My parents had a separate set of questions for me (kids trivia sort of thing) but it made me feel like a mong that I needed different questions to them so I got upset when we played it.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:04, archived)

Rat Race, where you hire and fire employees
I THINK there was a Trapdoor game, where you made the characters out of playdough; and I have jsut traced the initial route of my car fixation to a 1960s game called Grand Prix.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:04, archived)

We still have Grand Prix in my wardrobe at my parents house :)

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:07, archived)

temind me that it's the one Im thinking of
little 1920's style motor cars, and everyone gets some kind of steering-wheel-with-speedo-needle-on-it
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:09, archived)

I genuinely can't remember. However next time I'm there I shall definitely investigate!

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:14, archived)

From the era of my youth, but only recently discovered
Terry Venables Invites You To Be "The Manager"

It's awesome
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:05, archived)

We had one called Masterpiece
which basically involved buying and selling famous paintings (for a reason that escapes me)
The Dartmoor Game - memorise all the myths, legends and scuttlebutt of Dartmoor and win
and of course Yahtzee :)
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:05, archived)

Mastermind

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:07, archived)

That was a fucking ace game. With all those little plastic pegs
that would get lost, trodden on and swallowed by the cat.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)

Was that the one where you have four pegs of different colours and you get ten goes to find out what the combination is?

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:10, archived)

Yup.
With black and white pegs for "right colour right position & right colour, wrong position"
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:12, archived)

Yes.

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:13, archived)

Yes.

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:10, archived)

haha
Leo sayer is now the 3rd Big Brother sleb to walk out.

what nonsense.
( icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:44, archived)

yes yes, I know
rustic wire cut masonry

WHAT A LAUGH
( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:45, archived)

did he not jive his way out?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:45, archived)

I agree
BB/CelebBB is nonsense.
(Dangermouse., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:45, archived)

haha
Leo sayer is now the 3rd Big Brother sleb to walk out.

what nonsense.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:45, archived)

That makes me feel like dancing
*gonna dance the night away*
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:46, archived)

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( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:46, archived)

how long did that take you?
good show, though. *click*
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:47, archived)

nicely done..

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:47, archived)

TJ: reading the stats random quotes
as if it were a thread is mildly ammusing I found.

www.b3ta.com/board_stats/talkboard-users.html
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:46, archived)

he was whinging the other day about the conditions.
i know i know, this is the first one i have watched at all really.
( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:47, archived)

*doesnt hug you any less for it*

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:49, archived)

yay
*hugs* hello grrr. how are you?
have you got a nice plan for the weekend?
( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:50, archived)

Very vague plans
based around car maintenance and nose-picking. Howm about you?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:52, archived)

i have said i'll get dressed up as a red indian squaw for someone's birthday fancy dress thing tomorrow night
and then mr bink's mum is visiting on sunday.

although it looks as though one of us will have to visit Swindon (where our servers are in a co-location building) to retrieve a broken server... but that might wait till monday.

i need a squaw costume.
( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:57, archived)

If he's left because of Jade again
then she's Big Brother's biggest mistake since... well, since agreeing to make another series of Celeb Big Brother.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:47, archived)

she has said some startingly funny things
"Hang on, I thought Einstein was Inspector Morse's grandad"
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:48, archived)

...!

( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:49, archived)

She obviously doesn't really think these things.
She's saying them to be "adorably stupid" again.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:51, archived)

Her mother is the most repulsive person EVER

( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:52, archived)

The entire family seem to be utterly charmless.
Maybe a visit to the "showers" for Jade and her mum is in order and the kids can be farmed out to a family that WON'T damage them.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:55, archived)

Even so
that's brilliant.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:53, archived)

I don't know about now
but she was originally on Big Brother when it was watchable - before most of the contestants had thought of putting on acts like that - and appeared to be quite sincerely that stupid.
( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:57, archived)

I remember all the 'Cambridge in London' and 'East Angular' stuff
but she's found that people like her when she says stupid things, so she says more stupid things.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:00, archived)

he was whinging about the noise levels, air conditioning, lack of fresh air, and so on the other day

( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:48, archived)

they should replace him
with a suicide bomber
(Monk3yspunkmop3d throws grenades, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:51, archived)

or some kind of murder/rapist combo

( MONO!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:53, archived)

all 3
and make it baldmonkey
( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:55, archived)

stick all the
Channel 4 execs in there until they realise it's crap tv and dull
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:57, archived)

You mean no one's left through the voting process yet?
(WiggZ, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:56, archived)

So it's
sign up
get publicity
go into house
whinge for a couple of days
leave when you're bored and do paid interviews

?
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:59, archived)

is he?
i was hoping he'd do a Vanessa Whelps
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:01, archived)

What is the best stereotype?
As I'm on a Spanish tip (word), I'm inclined to go for the Colombian drug lord/Man from Del Monte look; white suit, fedora hat, riding around on a horse threatening death to entire villages should my shipment not be of the highest quality.

On the other hand, the French do look funny in their stripey tops and onions and around their necks.

Go on.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:41, archived)

i don't know
i have a cream sofa and i am perpetually washing the covers.
i suggest something that doesn't show marks instead.
( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:42, archived)

oops
I meant suit.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:42, archived)

did you?
damn, make my post look stupid, why don't you?
i think you should go for the french look. get a beret and trim your moustachios neatly.
( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:44, archived)

Silly binky
*squeezes face*
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:47, archived)

silly ME?
you're the one who misspelled suit.

and what's a spanish TIP? do you mean TRIP? or what? you blethering bletherpot.
( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:49, archived)

silly binky
*squishes*
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:53, archived)

Silly 'Binky!
On a Ragga Tip
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:53, archived)

mexican
you can work the rest out
( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:42, archived)

Chillis up your foreskin?

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:43, archived)

Salsa squeezed betwixt my arse cheeks
aye
( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:43, archived)

Merkins
overweight, shorts (garish colour), movie T-shirt, baseball cap, camera, visiting Disneyworld etc.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:43, archived)

That's actually our dress code (Article XIV of the Constitution)
and therefore not a stereotype.
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:45, archived)

Mafia stooge

(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:43, archived)

you'd need a suitable name
Jimmy "Riddle" Tomzcewick, for example.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:44, archived)

No. Vince Camelletti

(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:45, archived)

t p
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:45, archived)

Canadian Mounty?
could be fun...
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:44, archived)

Pirate
with the hat and the sword and whathave you.
Just think of Cap'n Jack Sparrow. YarrrRRRrrRRrr
(Dangermouse., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:44, archived)

Black men
wear 'Huggy Bear' type clothes, drive spazzed up Beemers and sell drugs.
Probably
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:44, archived)

Antonio Fargas was the star of our pantomime last time I went
He was actually really good
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:46, archived)

Hmmmm
Irish people as being small with bright ginger hair and beards (even the women) and have little green hats with a four leaf clover in their hat and smoking a pipe

Swedish chicks as being five foot ten with long blonde hair and stunning looks and body

Polish guys as being in their twenties, rather skin with real pale faces and plain looking with blonde hair
( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:45, archived)

this isnt a list of people you would fuck..

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:53, archived)

I think it probably is!

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:55, archived)

Swedish
Bow-Chika-Chika-Chika-Bow-Wow-Chika-Chicka
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:45, archived)

I quite like the witchy
stereotype I get here. People think I am all magical and mysterious when in actual fact I am as plain and boring as the next person.
( flurokitty 3, 2, 1 lets jam! (+.[___]·:·), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:46, archived)

sorry, what?
I lost interest half way through that...
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:47, archived)

Pimp
CLEARLY
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:48, archived)

Emo kids

( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:48, archived)

FACT: the interweb can be used for sordid porpoises
The porpoises are small cetaceans of the family Phocoenidae; they are related to whales and dolphins. They are distinct from dolphins, although the word "porpoise" has been used to refer to any small dolphin, especially by sailors and fishermen.

Which animal (if you were forced to ) would you have sex with.?
( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:29, archived)

A mermaid.

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:30, archived)

and what is the porpoise of this?
/my Dad
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:30, archived)

How very dare you.

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:30, archived)

i wouldn't do my dad
no, thats horrid

probably a dog
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:30, archived)

*boiks*

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:32, archived)

if i had to

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:33, archived)

*kia oras*

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:34, archived)

*um bongos*
if i had to
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:35, archived)

I'll be your dog.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:36, archived)

oh i see
i live in a flat, it wouldn't be fair to keep you indoors while i'm at work
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:40, archived)

Probably best to have me put down.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:41, archived)

And he'd hump all the houseguests' legs.

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:41, archived)

I'd be more likely to eat them.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:47, archived)

red rocket
will be pleased
(Monk3yspunkmop3d throws grenades, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:33, archived)

A human.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:30, archived)

THIS ^

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:30, archived)

Your mum, in the bum, for fun.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:30, archived)

You have, you did, you better get checked at local STD clinic

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:31, archived)

Ha !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:35, archived)

Ho! actually

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:39, archived)

the drummer from the muppets

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:31, archived)

Mykeyboy

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:31, archived)

this with big lumps of jelly on

(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:31, archived)

Sorry, but I think you're batting above your average there.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:32, archived)

What do you mean?

(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:33, archived)

She means you're shit at cricket

( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:36, archived)

Mikey would be lucky to have me

(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:36, archived)

*chokes*

( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:37, archived)

Bou fuck off!

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:38, archived)

OI!

(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:42, archived)

It's TRUE!

(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:39, archived)

i think he's happy with his current girlfriend

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:39, archived)

of course!
he's lucky he's got anything human to even LOOK at him
(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:47, archived)

OI YOU
you changed your name, which enticed me to click your profile. You owe me one click, mrs!
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:40, archived)

sorry

(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:42, archived)

gaz me a pic of your norks and you shall be forgiven.
/perv
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:45, archived)

DONE
I'm so efficient, me
(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:52, archived)

left out again

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:57, archived)

PHWOAR!
*forgives*
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:59, archived)

another name change?
I think you should stick with this one I like it.
( flurokitty 3, 2, 1 lets jam! (+.[___]·:·), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:36, archived)

Thanks. I will. :)

(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:37, archived)

You are so hot for me

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:38, archived)

To be fair, aren't we all?

( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:43, archived)

Darn tooting

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:45, archived)

Fuck Ewe!

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:31, archived)

Kittin paws

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:32, archived)

THUNDERPAWSSSSSSSSS YEAH
*grabs all the feet*
( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:34, archived)

THUNDER
THUNDER
THUNDER PAWS
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:35, archived)

We love the Paws we doo!

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:39, archived)

Pauses

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:43, archived)

Beaver

( Fetid Mimsy Bouncing Back!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:32, archived)

other than a human?
leela from futurama
(Monk3yspunkmop3d throws grenades, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:32, archived)

she has an electronic wanking cuff

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:34, archived)

exactly

(Monk3yspunkmop3d throws grenades, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:35, archived)

I want to jizz in her eye

( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:37, archived)

I'd say
"Hi Leela, I have a head with one eye too" *unzip*
(Monk3yspunkmop3d throws grenades, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:40, archived)

I once had a dream I fucked my cat
does that count?
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:33, archived)

yes it counts and goes on your record

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:34, archived)

this morning I had a dream
that a tramp punched me in the face and knifed me in the neck. I was quite frightened as I lay on the ground bleeding to death but then I woke up
(Monk3yspunkmop3d throws grenades, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:38, archived)

*adds jenk to list*

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:39, archived)

I'm getting a little confused with the sheer number of lists these days...
Is this the "approved b3tans/JMG", "approved b3tans/SikRik" or "b3tans most likely to climb a clocktower with a rifle" list?
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:42, archived)

I think we're all on that last one

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:44, archived)

It's going to be a bloody crowded clocktower...
I now have images of us all queueing on the stairs with highpowered rifles waiting our turn at the top...
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:46, archived)

And now I have an image of one of those ticket machines you get at a supermarket deli counter
"Number 158"
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:47, archived)

Someone really should do a short animation/film of this
/no talent
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:48, archived)

I nominate NobbyNobody
I like his style, and he's usually open to requests

/also no talent
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:53, archived)

AND HE'S OLDER THAN I AM!



*ahem*
Sorry, as you were.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:56, archived)

Bear
and I'd be the 'man', I'm not one of those gays that we hear so much about these days
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:37, archived)

I've always thought mares were sexy
especially with naked women on them
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:38, archived)

Like that
Quimby fella in Simpsons?
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:40, archived)

I must have missed the horse pron episode
"Quim-by." Ha!
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:42, archived)

fieldmouse
it'd be the only animal that'd give me a snug fit
( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:39, archived)

Was in Morrisons the other day...
... Just what the hell are "Faggots"? And would anybody actually buy them?

(I mean Faggot as in the stuff sold in Morrisons not those who work there).
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:25, archived)

Pork Faggots?

( Woking Girl, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:25, archived)

Dunno
Was in the freezer, packet just said "Faggots".
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:26, archived)

As much as i can

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:27, archived)

Pfft

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:27, archived)

meat balls.
nyommy meat balls.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:26, archived)

A faggot is a bundle of sticks.
Throw a faggot on the fire, we'd shout.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:26, archived)

round hamburgers for people who live in the north
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faggot_%28food%29
( rob, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:26, archived)

pfft
that link just says "faggot food"
( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:29, archived)

Ha!
I really want to see that Somerfield advert now!
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:30, archived)

I've nothing against faggots, I just don't fancy them.
It'll be on YouTube

Unless it was a radio ad, which I think it was
( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:30, archived)

They are meat balls and they are delicious.
FACT.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:26, archived)

i like them
but they are a bit wrong
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:27, archived)

I buy them 'cos they're tasty tasty tasty.

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:27, archived)

spicey pork meatballs
ideally with onions in them

Great with chips and gravy
(Dangermouse., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:27, archived)

or creamy mash and peas
*drools*
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:29, archived)

Both of these posts are making me vewwy hungry.
I demand FOOD!
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:30, archived)

You guys have fun things to eat
All we have is PAP and WORS
and I'm still waiting to hear one of you say VETKOEK
(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:31, archived)

moohalaa did the other day

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:32, archived)

I mean on the phone
+27 82 306 0976
(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:34, archived)

Shit and prostitutes?
Not very appetising.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:36, archived)

stiff porridge and sausage
hahaha!
(53020, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:38, archived)

Does anyone
actually buy those 150ml cans of soft drinks? Marched past them in Tescos today and thought long and hard about them. Last time I bought them was when I was 15 and skint.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:21, archived)

You are going to fail your market research module
AICMFP
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:22, archived)

Like "fun size" Mars Bars.
I don't know if it's just me, but I could have a lot more fun with a full size one.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:22, archived)

i don't drink soft drinks
so i don't buy them
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:22, archived)

But you don't buy miniatures either...
It's 75cl or nothing for you isn't it?

Kinga
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:25, archived)

I got a hipflask for christmas
with some sort of whisky miniature. And some sachets (I think) of toddy mixture.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:27, archived)

what the hell is toddy mixture?
all you need is
1 sqeeze lemon
1 slice lemon
2 cloves
spoonful of honey
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:28, archived)

I think it might be cloves and a few spices
I'd go and have a look, but I just got comfy in this chair.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:29, archived)

Sachets?
Hot water and honey?
Sachets?
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:29, archived)

This.

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:31, archived)

I don't fucking know.
I didn't buy the stuff.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:33, archived)

Easy.
Tiger.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:39, archived)

Are they the mini ones?
Yes. I would. I usually get bored of a whole can of Coke, and they often go to waste.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:22, archived)

I get them for Christmas
in my stocking :D
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:22, archived)

Yes
15 year old skint kids buy em.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:22, archived)

I bought 4 at christmas
Tonic water, slimline.
(Dangermouse., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:23, archived)

We get the little cans of tonic
so we can add them to Gin.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:23, archived)

Tonic is a little bit different
because it's an adult drink? Right?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:25, archived)

No that's the gin.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:25, archived)

Pfft.
Know any kids that drink Tonic water?

Edit: Please don't answer that.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:26, archived)

I used to sometimes.
It's quite nice.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:27, archived)

I hate it when you ask for a G&T in a bar
and you get one of those tiny little bottles of tonic.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:25, archived)

I buy them
and I like to give them to Bratfink, just 'cause I don't like her to have a lot of soft drinks and a little one is just enough.
( icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:24, archived)

She is only little though...
(although quickly overtaking you.)

/runs
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:26, archived)

that's true

( icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:28, archived)

No.
You are paying just a few pence less than the normal size so you are paying for packaging.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:25, archived)

They are a good size
to throw at someone's head
(Monk3yspunkmop3d throws grenades, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:25, archived)

I've only seen bartenders use them
at overpriced wet bars at conventions and stuff
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:25, archived)

you get them on planes, and they're fucking annoying as the ratio of booze/mixer is all fucked up.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:26, archived)

You're a dick
They're not small cans for drinking on their own, THEY'RE FUCKING MIXERS.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:32, archived)

If you had a friend
and they turned out to be a mong, would you shun them thereafter or continue to go out windowlicking with them ?

/dilemma.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:12, archived)

i would rape them
no-one believes a mong
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

you'd rape anyone

( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

*belms*

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:14, archived)

HELMET
your post made me think of the word HELMET

We used to call other kids a "Helm" at my school if we didnt like them.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:15, archived)

my boss is called Helmut

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

The Chief Exec. at my work is called Crispin.
I like to think that if he would talk to such a peasant as me, he would let me call him Crispy.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:18, archived)

i have a friend called crispy
well, it's Chris P. but you know.
( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:18, archived)

ha ha
i used to se Christopher Peacock shopping with his mum in Andover Tescos
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:19, archived)

call him this anyway
pretend you think that's his name.

my Dad was called Myrtle by someone he worked beside for the whole 4 years. His name's Murdo.
( icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:20, archived)

What an unusual name.
I also used to have a friend who's Dad was called Mungo.

It always made think of Um Bongo.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:21, archived)

it's fairly common in the Hebrides
there were 4 of them in his office. so they had nicknames.

His boss was known as Murdo Apple.
( icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:26, archived)

Makes me think of Blazin' Saddles.

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:26, archived)

Murchadh?

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:26, archived)

nope
he's just Murdo.
( icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:32, archived)

People have enough trouble
with the Anglicised version of my name, so it's probably for the best.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:36, archived)

So... I am a person at your school who you smally don't like.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:18, archived)

I'm a mong
please Gaz me for my home address.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:14, archived)

oh yes
I'd be interested in this too
( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:15, archived)

You're going to spitroast Goatworrier with Claire?

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

I was thinking more the other way around...
but whatever, I'm game for a laugh
( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:18, archived)

Me too
bandwagon
( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

I think I love you.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

where do you live?
are the windows tasty there?
( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

If you hadn't already noticed
you're probably a mong yourself.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:14, archived)

This is not a dilemma.
This is an open and shut case.

Film them and pitch the show "My Mongy Mate Mr Mong" to Channel 4. Say it's subversive and ironic.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:14, archived)

i liked and hated in equal proportions
how they made light of the Touretters last night by flashing up in big outlined letters what they shouted, as if you can't already hear them shout 'Wanker' and 'Cunt'
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

I would have watched that
but I despise Keith Allen with every bone in my body.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:19, archived)

he was alright
plus they kept punching him in the balls, you missed out
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:22, archived)

Dammit.
Anyone who punches Keith Allen in the balls is a friend of mine.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:22, archived)

Would you shag Lily Allen just so that you could show him the film afterwards?

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:23, archived)

And slap him throughout.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:25, archived)

I thouroughly enjoyed what I saw of that while simultaneously being disgusted that we're making disability-porn now.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:21, archived)

don't lie
you've got stacks of stump fucking flicks
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:26, archived)

I'd push him over and time how long it takes for him to stand up.
Then do it again, but this time, throw a pitbull into the mix to see if the time improves.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:14, archived)

Shun*




* t off a cliff. It's the most humane way.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:14, archived)

This is your friend's dilemma, right?

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:17, archived)

I'd probably get the hump you called them mongs
but then I'd ignore it and say "meh"
(Dangermouse., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:18, archived)

I'm starting an OU couse on monday
Do you think they will post me snakebite with my course books
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:12, archived)

Hahahahahahahah
OU

HAHAHAHAHAHA
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:12, archived)

What?

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

Hahahahahahahah
OU

HAHAHAHAHAHA
( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

They're close to the top of the UK league tables aren't they?

(Answer: yes)
( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

My friend is on an OU course
and (according to them, so likely to be biased) they're rated as highly as any Russell Group university by employers
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:21, archived)

What's the Russell Group?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:23, archived)

I think it's universities like Durham, Bristol, Edinburgh, Warwick
that are generally considered to be very good

EDIT: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russell_Group Durham's not a member
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:25, archived)

I used to work for the OU
The reason they're top is most of the students are in prison on in the army so have nothing better to do.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:22, archived)

Fuck me
There's logic, right there
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:23, archived)

I don't know the details
but these things do also get measured by authorities inspecting the quality of the course itself, so it's not just the dedication of the students.
( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:25, archived)

No.
NEXT!
( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

WHAT?
is this surrogate Tuesday or some cunting thing?
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

Pansy

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

No
they might send you some cardboard cut out "Tedious, badly dressed, immature mates" if you're lucky.

You can take them down the pub, get pissed and bring loads of traffic cones home with you because you are SO FUCKING MENTAL AND INTERESTING!
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:14, archived)

Let him who did not think he was mental and interesting in his late teens
cast the first stone.
( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:19, archived)

No

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

Fleet has marginally redeemed it's dullness today
for I have just purchased a bag of PROPER chips, with a PROPER chicken and mushroom pie. Not soggy, no skinny, but big, thick, chunky and crispy PROPER chips, accompanying a creamy thick PROPER chicken and mushroom pie.

NYOM.
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

I haven't been to fleet
in ages.
( flurokitty 3, 2, 1 lets jam! (+.[___]·:·), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

Fillet

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:10, archived)

Proper chips are a bit soggy, you nork.

( ImNotRightBotheredMe fool, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:11, archived)

I know a guy at work called Jenk.
It's spelt Cenk, but he's Turkish, so it's pronounced Jenk. Make of that what you will.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:12, archived)

Proper chips should be greasy and STUCK TOGETHER,
with bits of ink on them from the newspaper they have been wrapped in.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:12, archived)

And this is why i have banned the word 'proper'

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

properly banned the word proper?
proper banned?
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

eagles of death metal
yes or no?
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

seagulling yes

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No
No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No
No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No
No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No
No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No
No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No
No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No
No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No
No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

MAMAMIA!

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

Here we go again.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:10, archived)

On our own.

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

What ?
Fuck off.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

Nah.
Heard the album and it's a mega-meh.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

al


Pfft!! BUM!
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:11, archived)

coiling stab field
no.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

Yes.
What's not to like? They rock hard. They live in the desert. They're the best. Well, not the best. QOTSA are better.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

all I know is that Axl Rose called them the Pigeons of Shit Metal
and if Axl hates a band, they must be fucking horrible
( Sexy Picard 2000, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

But Mr Rose hated Guns and Roses

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:10, archived)

which confirms my opinion of GnR
well, I don't mind them, I just hate Axl Rose
( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:12, archived)

yes, they are playing Manchester shortly
No, I don't think it's worth going to
( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

My dad's bought a 4x4
it's a fucking monstrous cuboid of metal and glass, designed by a blind jap using nothing but a grinder and a t-square.

However, he lives in t'country, so that makes it alright*.

*not really, I told him I was happy that he was getting taxed to fuck on it, and laughed when he said it did 25 miles to the gallon. Just.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:07, archived)

Beats a hummer.
They get about 9mpg on a good day.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

The wife and I have his & hers vehicles
I have the sensable little Toyota and she has the monster truck (Dodge Durango)

I want one of those smart cars from the Pink Panther movie if anything just to embarass her.
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:15, archived)

we used to get about 25mpg on mr bink's celica.
there's a guy here with an impreza i think, does about 18 mpg
( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

25mpg isn't all that bad really.
Only 20 years ago it would have been one of the most economical cars you could get.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:17, archived)

You're just putting baldmonkey
on the popular page to take the piss now, arent you?

Go on, you can admit it to me, I hate you all anyway.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:07, archived)

WHY WON'T MY FUCKING PRINTER TURN OFF?

( Comma, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

Unplug it.
Then, it has to turn off.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

I have now.
It was making noises at me :(
( Comma, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:10, archived)

BECAUSE YOU JUST SPOOLED 60000 PAGES OF PORN.
.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

the popular page is a sack of shit
it works well on links / board tho.

useless on /talk

VOTE FOR THIS TO PROVE ME RIGHT
( rob, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

*clicks*
What were you expecting though? It's not as if /talk posts are put into the newsletter like /board posts and /link posts are. Basically it's just an assortment of daft posts with the odd good one or two in there.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

Now look here,
I don't know just who you think you are, coming in here casting aspersions on...oh.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:10, archived)

casting aspergers
for a role in a poignant film about Autism
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:12, archived)

Casting asparagus
into the bin becasue the wuss didn't want stinky wee.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:15, archived)

This so hard it hurts
what /talk needed was a hall of quotes fame, for the truly inspired amusing quotes, like Rj's fetch one earlier.
( icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:11, archived)

Didn't you say at one point
that there would never be a popular page for /talk, as it would end up exactly as it has ended up?
(Flabbergaster laughs at danger (and breaks all the rules), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:11, archived)

I probably did
and then, on a whim, I asked Robtoo to stick one in.

My theory was that it would settle down, and you'd find some unexpected use for it, but no one has.

So it just sits there, full of crap.

I'd remove it, but that's work!
( rob, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

Now it's there, is there any point in removing it?
The 'I Like This' is handy for keeping track of links/posts we liked
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:15, archived)

oh yeah
that's a reason enough. Social bookmarking init?
( rob, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

Yup
I have a few things in my profile that made me laugh and I can go back and revisit them.
One thing, though: when I go to the posts I liked via my profile, there's no way to see them in context - the 'page' icon at the top-left isn't there, and neither is the 'more' link. Some of these posts need the context (I'll put this on the Bugs board too)
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:19, archived)

This.
I sometimes click "I like this" on certain posts so I can find it through my profile later and show Mrs Eddache.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

this
but I'd rather they had the post icon, so I could link to them rather than just sit back and enjoy them.
( icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:18, archived)

It would work if rather than clicking the post they laughed at,
they clicked the first post in the thread that lead to the funny, & people perusing the popular page clicked the post icon & read the whole thing, thus understanding context & punch line fully.
This is far too much effort for everyone though I suspect.
( ImNotRightBotheredMe fool, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

Aye, we've got a lot of punchlines
but not many jokes on there.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:18, archived)

Apart from your mum.

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:21, archived)

Pffft.

( ImNotRightBotheredMe fool, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:22, archived)

It started well
although a quote alone is usually hard to see in context. But now it's a tedious tool for tedious tools.

Thanks for listening, though, even if the masses were wrong.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:18, archived)

We're all urban subversives
what did you expect?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:11, archived)

It is only very occassionally useful.
The links one is probably the only consistantly useful one though. Yes.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:12, archived)

it doesn't hurt so I'd leave it
what we do need is a search button on /talk
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:14, archived)

I think it's because of the non sequiturs. I'm going to put it to the test
The other day I was walking down the high street and I saw my friend matt and i said hi and he said hi and i laughed at him because he's a mong really we just pretend to like him
SO I SHAT ON HIS HEAD AND HAD SEX WITH HIS MUM
( Dave the Mighty, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:10, archived)

I have a habit of biting my finger nails and then chewing the bits I bite off for hours before spitting them randomly around the place.
If anyone else does the same thing, I have a tip.
I just spat a nail into my bin. It landed in a discarded crisp packet. Now it tastes of cheese and onion. NYOMMY!
Try it today.
It doesn't have to be cheese and onion. You could use ANY flavour.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:04, archived)

You've ruined that habit for me now
*continues to do it anyway*
(Flabbergaster laughs at danger (and breaks all the rules), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:05, archived)

mine tastes of THROAT INFECTION
eurrrrrgh
(1, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:05, archived)

Haha!

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:05, archived)

they should invent nail flavoured crisps

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:06, archived)

gay
chewing your nails is a nasty habit, I never ever knew how dirty nails get until I stopped biting them
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:06, archived)

I have bitten my nails for as long as my brain can remember.
But you, YOU sir, may just have made me stop.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:06, archived)

I don't bite my nails
I do chew the skin all around my finger nails though especially when I am stressed.
My fingers are very very sore at the moment but I can't stop.
( flurokitty 3, 2, 1 lets jam! (+.[___]·:·), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:07, archived)

Dip them in a discarded crisp packet.
A beef crisp packet.
It'll be like jerky
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

the only crisp packet I have
is salt and vinegar and I am not dipping my sore fingers in there.
( flurokitty 3, 2, 1 lets jam! (+.[___]·:·), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:11, archived)

I bite my fingers
and my knuckles, and other bits of my hands.
I don't bite my nails, though. There's no point, it doesn't hurt.
( Comma, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:12, archived)

I love you.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

if you burn your nail in a flame
it smell and tastes like crispy bacon

FACT
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:07, archived)

my fingernail are too short to bite
so I won't partake of your exciting activities today, sorry
(Dangermouse., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

Biting nails is gross.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

What Doug said

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:03, archived)

Cap'n Tallbeard is gay

( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:03, archived)

Pfft

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:04, archived)

*bums*

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:04, archived)

haha
truely 0wn3d.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:04, archived)

"Dear Journal,
Today Patty Mayonaise held my hand after I helped her off the floor. I haven't washed it since. In fact, I've been wanking furiously with it for the past 6 hours."

/Doug
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:04, archived)

do you know why she was on the floor in the first place?

( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:05, archived)

She fell over.*
*I tripped her.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:06, archived)

right,
enough of this mundanity, i'm leaving the country for a week.


bye!
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

Quick question
Nothing really, he doesn't think my jokes are funny
(Jugular, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:01, archived)

please try to make use of the reply or edit buttons

( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:02, archived)

he's right
but sack him anyhow
( Sexy Picard 2000, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:02, archived)

Tell us one of your jokes
and judgement will be forthcoming.
( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:03, archived)

See the little blue Reply?
Consider this a written warning.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:03, archived)

Maybe he should sack you.

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:03, archived)

tell us one of your jokes
and we'll decide whether he's right
( rob, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:03, archived)

Funny how?
funny ha-ha or funny weird?
(Flabbergaster laughs at danger (and breaks all the rules), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:03, archived)

Funny or weird
Depends who you talkl to really, he thinks neither, which is fairly unusual
(Jugular, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:04, archived)

I deduce he is a robot
that will be five pounds please
*holds out hand*
(Flabbergaster laughs at danger (and breaks all the rules), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:06, archived)

he is right i supect

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:03, archived)

You're right
I do have a high opinion of myself
(Jugular, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:05, archived)

he's right
but hire him anyway
(Dangermouse., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:05, archived)

You lot are better than sms..
Ta, I'm sacking him - cheers
(Jugular, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:07, archived)

i know
get to fuck
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

Quick quesiton
Should i sack my bloke?
(Jugular, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:00, archived)

if you are asking here
yes.
( icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:00, archived)

This.
Or no.
Depending on details which clearly none of us have any idea about.
( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:02, archived)

What's he done?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:01, archived)

Your mum.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:01, archived)

who hasn't?

( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:06, archived)

Yes, Dave.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:01, archived)

a u

yes, always
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:01, archived)

If by sack you mean kick his sac, then yes
Film it, and post it up
( Dave the Mighty, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:01, archived)

He's not bad enough to give pain to
.
(Jugular, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:02, archived)

Then tell us what he's done and we might be able to give proper advice

( Dave the Mighty, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:06, archived)

Yes for sure

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:02, archived)

Has he had a written warning?
otherwise you'll need legal grounds.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:02, archived)

you haven't really given us much information to go on

( rob, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:02, archived)

.
Yeah, I know, I'm crap at this stuff. He's okay like, watches a lot of telly and talks about famous women alot
He;s alright in the sack
(Jugular, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:03, archived)

I don't understand the question.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:04, archived)

should she dump her boyfriend?
he's okay like.
( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:05, archived)

in that case
yeah, why not like? it'll be a laugh like.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:06, archived)

he sounds like an "average bloke"

( brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

At the risk of making serious of a light situation
I think it's too trendy to dump your SO on a whim these days. Relationships require effort and all that.
( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:08, archived)

*waves SEVEN YEARS of effort in your face*
i know.
( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:18, archived)

I know you know
I just thought this thread kind of brought the issue up.
( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:21, archived)

*waves 15 years of WASTED effort in yours*

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:23, archived)

wasted?
i only count it as wasted if you get less enjoyment out of it than the effort you put in.

i have lots of enjoyment.
( sleepybinky, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:32, archived)

hell
I'll take him, then
( Sexy Picard 2000, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:04, archived)

You're a man, aren't you?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:05, archived)

remove him from the sack
everyone's a winner
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:06, archived)

Talking of Real Beer down there, has prompted me to ask:
What's your favourite(s)?

I like Robinson's "Old Tom", and not just because it's 8.5%
I also like all the Badger beers.

Oh I also almost forgot: There is a North Wales brewery near Great Orme - fantastic beer!
AND Harvestoun stuff, oh so many...

And, no fucking beer-snobbery like "ooh, my beer is better than your beer" please, or I'll kill your family with Nigel Mansell's Goat Encrusted Penis of Steel.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:55, archived)

Men Of Norfolk

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:56, archived)

hehe
excuse me if I snigger at that :-) I do love the names they come up with.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:56, archived)

And Jaipur Pale Ale
Which, as was remarked to me at the time, isn't a particularly Sheffundian name
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:59, archived)

Summer Lightening.
It was a lovely beer.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:56, archived)

was?
Is it no more? Or have I missed a joke somewhere...
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:57, archived)

Is, then.
Same difference.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:59, archived)

I was concerned that a beer had died, that's all.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:01, archived)

Chouffe or Chimay Blue.
Actually, I haven't had beer instead of wine for fucking ages.
( ImNotRightBotheredMe fool, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:56, archived)

I tend to drink Grosh Tops, or one of those fruit-beers if they have.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:57, archived)

I had a black sheep the other night. that was quite yummy

( Dave the Mighty, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:57, archived)

I'm very partial to London Pride as an everyday session beer
Duvel, Chimay and La Chouffe will always have a place in my heart
And I'm a big fan of Exmoor Ales in general and Otter Bitter

edit: And I could drink Porterhouse Red until the cows came home to roost
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:57, archived)

London Pride is a good reliable beer isn't it?
It's always there for you when the other pumps fail you. It's like your old faithful dog. Or something.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:00, archived)

Deuchar's IPA is my default (not very obscure round here)
or whatever guest ales look interesting.
( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:57, archived)

Woo for guest ales
I almost always go for the ones I've never tried before.

Sadly, I forget the names of some, and never get to have them again :-(
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:59, archived)

This
ALWAYS get the guest
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:00, archived)

You know what annoyed me on Wednesday?
My local had one of my favourites on guest (Tribute), and I am currently not allowed alcohol for a few weeks.

************ **** ** ** * * * * * * **
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:02, archived)

You could have bought it and posted it to me

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:03, archived)

Contact the brewery and have a Polypin sent to you.
:-)
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:05, archived)

THIS
in the BUM.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:02, archived)

my favorite beer
Carling
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:59, archived)

That's lager you heathen.

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:00, archived)

Lager IS beer you fool.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:01, archived)

It's not.
Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a refreshing pint of Carling in the summer, but it's not proper beer.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:04, archived)

This.
If it's your favourite, you're not even trying.
( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

That is so, so so, so so SO not beer.

( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:00, archived)

What happened
to no beer snobbery
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:02, archived)

It's not beer.

( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:04, archived)

Wha?

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:04, archived)

It is beer
as it is called Lager Beer. I detect some beer snobbery! Johnson! Watch it! And you Fork. I have the penis ready.

Lager IS beer. It's just different. It does, however, have a higher percentage of shitty products in its category than Ales do. In fact, I've never had an ale that's made me spit it out in disgust.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:09, archived)

I would have thought it'd be more likely to be considered beer
as bitter is also called ale, or stout, or whatever
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:10, archived)

My truck is not with lager
It's with Carling. Being someone's favourite.
( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:11, archived)

Ah
We're taking your comment at face value, when it was meant as a highschool teenage girl comment of disagreement.
Apologies.
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

It's still not beer.

( Newington, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

I'm still reading this as an opinion on lager rather than a statement of truth

( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:16, archived)

Oh ok
Each to their own though. Although you're right - Carling is disgusting IMO. It is beer though, no matter how much you hate it.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:21, archived)

I have two favourite beers.
"Chiltern Ale" and "Beechwood". Both made by the Chiltern Brewery.

I live in the Chilterns, therefore I am bias.

EDIT: For none bias ones, I like London Pride and Spitfire.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:59, archived)

I love real beer
in pints.

I love Black Sheep, the Porterhouse Red was lovely, and if I'm feeling Euro-tastic Hoegaardern or Erdinger

I'm quite fond of an Old Speckled Hen too

Edit: and Hebridean Brewery's Berserker when I can get my grubby paws on it.
( icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:00, archived)

Ooooh I like a bit of dunkel.

( ImNotRightBotheredMe fool, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:01, archived)

Scottish Islander in "I love Black Sheep" shocker.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:05, archived)

Orkney Dark Island
McEwans No.1 Champion ale
Hoegaarden Grand Cru
Williams Black
Fraoch
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:13, archived)

Lynch time maths

A plane travels at a speed of 400 miles per hour for 1200 miles, and then returns by the same route at a speed of 300 miles per hour. What is the average speed for the total trip?
( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:55, archived)

Don't you mean
"How big is the pilot's cock?"
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:56, archived)

9"

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:57, archived)

NOTHING!
THE PLANE IS CANCELLED DUE TO FOG!
YOU CAN'T SEE FOR SHIT IN THE FOG!
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:56, archived)

But where do you bury the survivors?

(Flabbergaster laughs at danger (and breaks all the rules), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:56, archived)

Does that include stop over time?
And I suppose if it's just distance travelled over time that'd be
0 miles travelled (because of finishing in the same place)
over however hours
So 0mph
( Dave the Mighty, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:56, archived)

That's the average velocity surely. Speed is scalar.
Or have I got that the wrong way around?
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:58, archived)

That sounds right. I was just assuming it was a trick question

( Dave the Mighty, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:58, archived)

342.86mph

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:57, archived)

winnar

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:58, archived)

343MPH. Ish.
or 24/7 x 10² MPH
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:57, archived)

Close ish

( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:58, archived)

ground speed or air speed?

( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:58, archived)

African or European?

( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:00, archived)

is it an African or European plane?
EDIT: Also see above.
( Sexy Picard 2000, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:59, archived)

German
Wankel
( tfs bye, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:00, archived)

*grumble grumble*
Self assessment tax forms - even having an accountant doesn't make it easy.
( Sygiinu, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:51, archived)

Surely the accountant is supposed to do it all for you?

( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:52, archived)

Hello boy,
I am moving back to London!
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:52, archived)

When? Where? Why? How? Who? What?

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:53, archived)

And 'umami'.

( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:55, archived)

I wasn't aware you moved away, actually.
No-one told me.
Good news though.
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:54, archived)

I didn't know you'd moved OUT of London?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:54, archived)

Not if you're a fucking twat who doesn't bother writting what moneys you get in or pay out, or keep their recepts.
I think i'll just make up an estimate figure this year.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:53, archived)

I think I'll...
No wait! I'm a student! I don't have to worry about any of this!
Hahahaha
/obnoxious blog
( Dave the Mighty, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:55, archived)

You've still got to give them all the stuff though
and tell them how much in interest and dividends etc you've received that they don't know about.
( Sygiinu, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:55, archived)

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT
I've got to do that today.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:52, archived)

Adam Hart-Davis says:
"Stop whinging and get on with it."


I've never done one. In fact, I don't even know what one is for.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:52, archived)

Still need to do that P50...

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:52, archived)

have you earned less than the amount we care about? yes
how much were your legit expenses? roughly the same

net profit? zero

tax? nil

sorted
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 14:03, archived)