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(kitten vice, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:03, archived)

You should

do a flash game of that. Bizarre upside-down woman racing. I can see it now..

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:04, archived)

Think of the commercial possibilities...

"Sponsored by Scalectrix and Ann Summers, it's the 2004 Silverstone Grand Pricks!"

Well, I know they're girls, but it wouldn't be funny if I said "Grand Vadge", would it?

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:07, archived)

Oh believe me

it would be very funny if you said Grand Vadge. Go on, say it, quite loud, in your office. GRAND VADGE!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:08, archived)

Okay

*** runs off, door slams, car starts and drives off. 15 minutes later, a car approaches, the engine stops, the door slams again... ***

Cool, I just got fired from some place and I don't even work there! Yay me! :-D

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)

It suprised the shite out of me,

having a stranger running in and shouting that :)

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:15, archived)

You were suprised!

I'm amazed they let you have all those animals in there, what with health and safety regulations...

Do they really enjoy wearing all that lacy underwear?

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:19, archived)

Animals in lacy underwear eh...

...any vacancies there...ahem.

(

Mystery_Bob, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:24, archived)

nope.

There will be soon though, cuz I'm quittin! :)

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:26, archived)

Of course!

I share an office with the Bikini Bandits UK agents..

Raaaaah!

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:26, archived)

far better

than being fired from a cannon. at a wall.

(

teflon, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:19, archived)

of spikes.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:20, archived)

with rotting fish

tied to your head.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:21, archived)

Yeah

You won't catch me doing THAT again!

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:24, archived)

backwards yoga racing!

of course, it's easier in Tibet where they have more slopes.

that's mighty woo!

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:04, archived)

love it

turbo charged vadge's

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:08, archived)

Yes

(Mattyboy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:14, archived)

Turbo vadge woman...

Equally cursed and blessed...

(

Shakmaaaaa!, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:21, archived)

Reminds me of last Monday night...

*misty eyed*

(Mattyboy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:30, archived)

Please don't make us

think of these things...

(Amerella, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:30, archived)

Only joking actually

no action for me last week...

sniff...

(Mattyboy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:38, archived)

Thats

A little odd.

Looks uncomfortanle too.

Oooh look. My hands are too cold to type properly.

(

wonko the sane, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:17, archived)

Stephen Hawkin's cat?

(

busy phil is still bloody busy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:01, archived)

That has left me

Laughing like a loon. Love it!!

(

Mr. Sheep Fat Squelchy Goodness, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:08, archived)

y than q.

:¬)

(

busy phil is still bloody busy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:18, archived)

/life preserver

(

StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:00, archived)

Woo!

I guess you guys aren't ready for these yet.
But your kids are gonna love 'em!

(

mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:01, archived)

Some people here (possibly)

won't have seen them in the cinema!

Waaaaaargh!

(

bigdave, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:06, archived)

hahaha

and woo to the pic! :)

(

rogan, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:08, archived)

*cough*

(

Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:03, archived)

arses.

that is all.

(

StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:05, archived)

Hats of the Future

will have a button that when pressed will cause it to play a Rammstein song with slightly different lyrics, entitled "Du Hats". FACT!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:07, archived)

Remind me

Are Rammstein a German metal band who have been known to use bagpipes and yodelling ?

Or is that someone else ?

(

wonko the sane, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:18, archived)

Well

they're a german metal band who have been known to use angle grinders on metal plates over their bollocks on stage.

They put on quite a good show, or so I've heard.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:21, archived)

I saw them in a festival in switzerland

about six years ago. The show was fucking excellent... lots of pyrotechnics and sillyness including
-the singer coming onto the stage at the begining in a flaming coat.
-Gauntlets that spat fire into the air.
-The keyboard player crowdsurfing in a rubber dinghy
-exploding heads.

(

Craymen, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:26, archived)

Ah.

Old school. No-one does this kind of thing any more. It's a lost art.

I've only seen one band set fire to their stage in the last five years. (Well, two if you count accidents).

I feel so old, sometimes

(

wonko the sane, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:30, archived)

It was completely over the top

and very good fun.

If haloween and bonfire night were combined, that's what it should be like.

(

Craymen, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:36, archived)

Testicle stunts

I thought they'd gone out of fashion after W.A.S.P.s infamous Blackie Lawless exploding codpiece disaster.

(

wonko the sane, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:27, archived)

Erm

I thinks that's probably laibach you're thinking of?

(GigerPunk(stuck in mcp training and can't be bothered to log in), Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:48, archived)

That was

In Extremo

(

ZoomZoom, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 13:00, archived)

Gareth The Menace

(dex, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:56, archived)

not forgetting

Oor Wull

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:57, archived)

Surely that would make

Will the Softy.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:58, archived)

the beano used to be so good

until about 1993, when it turned rubbish

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:00, archived)

Yep,

All the artists changed.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:01, archived)

It looks

like it's all done by the same blokey now -

I want some old skool Calamity James!

(

Prof. Slocombe, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:06, archived)

calamity james was absolutely hilarious.

that is all.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)

Yey!

Random little squidgey things with comedy names!

Edit: Sorry, squelchy things.

(afrayed, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:11, archived)

only prob is that

he has apparently got rid of his shitty spikes and gone for the floppy look.

apparently.

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:59, archived)

I love the way

you've matched the font so perfectly there....
;•)

(

christhebarker, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:01, archived)

fonts

no need for nit picking. i admit i cannot copy writing, don't know how to do it.

(dex, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:05, archived)

I was

only messing...

(

christhebarker, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:06, archived)

woo

gotta love a bit of pob idol..

(

Obz Click, ting, stamps, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:33, archived)

woo

Pob was evil, he scared me

(Chutney_Pie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:50, archived)

pervy wordy

hello folks
had to make this common knowledge for the unnervingly depraved people out there....
members.lycos.co.uk/donstaaa/newpage.html
paste ALL the text into word and follow the instructions... ignore the skeletal website, and perv yourself up!

(

Shakmaaaaa!, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:45, archived)

ooh how I hate that phrase - "the lads"

shiver.

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:46, archived)

maybe it should be replaced with the phrase

the gladioli?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:48, archived)

"Coming out for a drink with the Gladioli?"

etc. etc.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:51, archived)

nicked (from Jinx)

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:54, archived)

I'm Narcissus!

Was funnier in me head...

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:55, archived)

holy crap

3 minutes...

(

crouchingbadger, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:58, archived)

alright then

BETTER?

(

Shakmaaaaa!, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:48, archived)

ooh the power

now change it to gladioli

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:51, archived)

"the laddettes"

is worse...

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:48, archived)

that

is a nice description for a group of butch gay guys

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:52, archived)

out where?

in your garden? do they have the internet in your garden?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:47, archived)

Nice....

tone on here today.

(

Shakmaaaaa!, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:49, archived)

No....

Tone's on holiday. Bob is standing in for him.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:50, archived)

what is Bob standing in?

gladioli?

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:52, archived)

Yeah

he's up to his knees in it. Usually thats Tone's job, but he's on holiday in Malaga Deluxe AGA, which is just like Malaga, only in 256 colours and it has extra bonus levels.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:54, archived)

Wow

You mean, it's actually possible to make a picture that vaguely resembles something just by using letters?

What an original concept...

You know, if you used the right tags you could get it to look "right" on the webpage without all that bollocks about loading it into Word...

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:53, archived)

Cor!

All those letters form up, when you squint really closely, to make a Temporary Unavailable Geocities page :D

(

stevierar, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:54, archived)

Ya gotta love it

I thought to myself when I saw the URL "Joan Stark's finally got good hosting!"

Wrong...

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:56, archived)

oh well, my mistake.

Thanks, great advice, I'd never heard of ASCII art before, I wouldn't have posted if I'd have known someone had done it before.. not to b3ta, anyway.
I thought that was the first one.

(

Shakmaaaaa!, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:56, archived)

Being fairly new to posting here

I can't say it's never been done on B3ta - however, ASCII art is what was used to make some of the first home computer games, so it's most definately not "new."

In fact, ASCII art predates the invention of the word ASCII - there's officially-recognised "works of art" that are people's portraits or landscape scenes created by running the same piece of paper through a typewriter over and over again...

I'll have to go and look some of those up, they're really rather smart! As is yours... I didn't mean it to sound like a smack-down, just a heads-up to the fact it has been done already, k?

Here, have a baboon.

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:03, archived)

eh?

"quotes....You know, if you used the right tags you could get it to look "right" on the webpage without all that bollocks about loading it into Word......."
Yeah, but then where would the fun be. This is much more like creative fun. Anyroad, if I could be bothered to do that I'd be even more worried about myself. I'm already propagating text-based porn and drinking fish juice. Don't make me worse.

(

Shakmaaaaa!, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:01, archived)

Well, the "fun"

would be in enabling people without Word to view it as it's intended... No?

What flavour fish juice?

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:04, archived)

Sole

But sometimes salmon, on expensive days.
And sometimes I crunch a little pebble and pretend.

(

Shakmaaaaa!, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:08, archived)

Darn it

That baboon just ate my slippers.
But he's a good natured old soul.
Can he do the macarena?

(

Shakmaaaaa!, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)

Of course

just slip him the odd banana laced with exlax, then deny him bathroom privileges and he'll dance however you want!

Must say right here that the Google Toolbar rocks, especially if you use the Experimental search button... It's helped me out 3 times in this thread!

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:15, archived)

really?

ASCII art predates the internet ...

for some more recent ascii and ansi stuff check here:

www.acid.org/

start your own crew -contribute to the demo scene!

phil.

spiny / torment

(

spiny - things are looking up, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:28, archived)

I think the phrase

'Perv yourself up' should be used more often.

'Go on girl, perv yourself up a bit'.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:53, archived)

laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhvleee!

Awight my son? Fancy a china tea-set? 50p to you sir!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:54, archived)

Here Twenny quid,

go aht an buy yerself somefin' nice.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:55, archived)

get aaaaht of it

woss gaahin on?
Oi! Shut it!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:57, archived)

Anymore lip,

han I'll cut yoo wiv me blaaade.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:59, archived)

Sorry guv

dont go saaaf the river this time 'o night.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:01, archived)

"you would if you loved me"

Agreed. Perv yourself up will become common usage in my vocabulary.

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:56, archived)

*sigh*

I'm going away for a bit - I'll come back when you boys have got over all this pervery.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:08, archived)

it's your fault

for telling everyone on messenger that you're pink and fluffy! ;)

(

rogan, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)

why all the attacks?

I didn't think it was possible to lower the tone in this place.. Matter of fact, I thought of myself as an ambassador of culture..

Still, am enjoying the application of 'pervery'
Pervery merchant.

(

Shakmaaaaa!, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:13, archived)

I think anyone "attacking" you

is merely confused as to why you posted the oldest thing on the web - but you didn't know, so that's all right.

It only feels like an "attack" when it's directed at you. They're all just bemused, you know.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:20, archived)

Bemusement...

Which is fair enough.
I only dips in and out.

(

Shakmaaaaa!, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:24, archived)

Saddam Hussain's Evil Gherkin Warriors

rarar, run Bush, bush.

(Father Mahoo hoo Shaboo, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:41, archived)

love it

well stuuuupid

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:43, archived)

That is the poorest animation

and artwork I have ever seen.

WOO YOU!
I love it!

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:43, archived)

Low-tech

is the new high-tech.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:44, archived)

undesigned

i think you'll find

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:46, archived)

nononono

"undesigned" is the mainstream term. Jeez, get with the underground, will you?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:48, archived)

leave me alone...i'll tell my dad

I'm going home....sob sob.....

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:51, archived)

Shite-Chic.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:51, archived)

tis

goodley, that is

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:44, archived)

haha!

(

mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:44, archived)

You have

a very silly name... but that is quality!

(

Mr. Sheep Fat Squelchy Goodness, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:46, archived)

He looks

like a member of zz top juniors.

woo.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:47, archived)

alright pardre

that is quite superb

(

weebl Mashed farts, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:49, archived)

that is fantastically poor.

hooray

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:51, archived)

hooray for anthropomorphocised gherkins!

gherkons

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:58, archived)

that's

very pleasing.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:01, archived)

Wow oh wow...

the wind kicked up here earlier this afternoon. I sat on a roof watching all the power lines bump into one another and explode. The internet place I'm at had the power fail and come back on at least 10 times in 5 minutes. No one told me this would happen when I moved here to SoCal. I want my money back!

(Kimbo, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:41, archived)

blimey -

I thought it was supposed to be nice where you are?
although actually - where are you?

(

pep, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:45, archived)

He's BEHIND YOU!

/festive yet sinister

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:58, archived)

Hand Drawn

and scanned in, then animated in a program that came out in 1994. yes, I'm old school

(Father Mahoo hoo Shaboo, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:20, archived)

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:33, archived)

erm

erm x 20

(kitten vice, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:34, archived)

bob carolgees

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:36, archived)

still laugh at the tale of his mistaken introduction as a double act

bob and carol gees

hahahahahaha!

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:40, archived)

Oh yes

a man who made Keith Harris look like a professional.

HOLD TIGHT! may I be forgiven

(

Ijon Tichy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:42, archived)

now THAT was the name

with the lifts and things?

I can still remember the music.
Although I'm sure it sounds better in my head.

(

crouchingbadger, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:44, archived)

All I can remember

is the opening bit on a rollercoaster (I think) and Bob Carolgees being so unsufferably bad that even at the age of four I couldn't understand why a piss-poor ventriloquist was on TV.

Yet somehow, I now think Spit the Dog was the height of comedy.

(

Ijon Tichy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:49, archived)

Heh,

Cob Barolgee's.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:50, archived)

I say again

"hhock ptu"!

(

crouchingbadger, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:54, archived)

WHo?

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:47, archived)

May I spazz somthing scary I once made

(Mattyboy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:50, archived)

I concur

hmmmmmm

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:36, archived)

well..

you're all wrong.

It's brilliant. As ever.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:37, archived)

well

i di piss my fuck socks off..

(kitten vice, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:38, archived)

it is good

but strange...
hence..hmmmmmmmmmmm

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:42, archived)

ineedily yes

you're right

It's tops.

*spit*

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:38, archived)

here have my only woo yay even though it's crap

(

mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:37, archived)

Yes,

it is crap.

OOooonly joking.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:39, archived)

No it is crap

I especially like the way Flash distorts the letters. :)

(

mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:43, archived)

Ooh!

Atic Atak!

(

LittlePixel, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:48, archived)

Magic game

isn't it.

(

mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:52, archived)

marvabolous

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:38, archived)

I like that

well done!

(

Banana, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:39, archived)

I'm laffing like a loon

wooyay and "hhock ptu"!

(

crouchingbadger, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:39, archived)

(

Dai_Marzipan Ain't no party like an S Club party, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:41, archived)

Saddam

The Bob Carolgees/Saddam Hussein resemblance has never occurred to me before.

Mind you, they're never in the same room together.

Is it bad form to use the same WYH on one page?

(angrybernard, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:47, archived)

Before I forget

must say WOO and YAY to this one.

(

Ijon Tichy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:50, archived)

Does this count as deja-woo?

(

christhebarker, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:59, archived)

copying hugo's thing

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:32, archived)

All blokes

should be supplied with one

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:33, archived)

hahahaha

raaaah!

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:33, archived)

nice

could you look up ejaculation ??

(kitten vice, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:34, archived)

Could you look out....

EJACULATION!!!

(

.spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:37, archived)

ejaculation:

The process of ejaculating!

Or something. You should try it :)

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:37, archived)

female ejaculation

can be somewhat fountainous...according to some dodgy email attachment I got a few years ago.

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:39, archived)

Nice,

I like the word Foutainous, although not in presence of the words female and ejaculation.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:41, archived)

today's

discussions are very disturbing

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:43, archived)

Yes,

I detect a high amount of sexual tension on the board.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:47, archived)

I hear

you brother...

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:48, archived)

repost

(

gracielou, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:55, archived)

You wanna go out

and perv yourself up a bit.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:57, archived)

actualy

I'd rather someone else perv me up.

(

gracielou, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)

that did make me smile...(but in a non sexual way)

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:14, archived)

Hm...

** imagine really classy "who doesn't" animated gif here **

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:57, archived)

i will have sex with you.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:59, archived)

Ha ha ha,

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:00, archived)

I'll keep that in mind if I'm ever boyfriendless and in England (I'm assuming)
edit: god, i sound like a big whore.

(

gracielou, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:06, archived)

There aint

no shame in whoring....big whoring either...

its those skinny whores that do the name no good

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:15, archived)

yay

whores for everyone.

bedtime (4 am)

(

gracielou, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:18, archived)

(

Mr. Sheep Fat Squelchy Goodness, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:32, archived)

you very unusual individual.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:33, archived)

I think the word you're looking for is

.... "special"

(

Mr. Sheep Fat Squelchy Goodness, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:38, archived)

did you

go to a special school to get that special?

I like it tho ;)

(

kitty_cat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:40, archived)

The seeds were sewn long before that.

(

Mr. Sheep Fat Squelchy Goodness, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:48, archived)

I suspect

an incident involving voles.

(

missing, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:54, archived)

Not far from the truth.

It was stoats. Stoats!!!!!! Aaaaaargh!!!! Stoats!!!!

(

Mr. Sheep Fat Squelchy Goodness, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:06, archived)

Stoat trauma

more common than people imagine.

(

missing, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:07, archived)

You

too?
Or am I reading between the lines too much?

(

Mr. Sheep Fat Squelchy Goodness, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:13, archived)

Not personally

but I've seen some sights in my time.

(

missing, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:16, archived)

As ever, missing,

you leave me feeling warmer and fuzzier. Bless you.

(

Mr. Sheep Fat Squelchy Goodness, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:18, archived)

Awww

I feel strangely moved by that

(

missing, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:20, archived)

You're welcome

ma'am. I seem to strangely move a lot of people. As in "My, he is strange", "Yes, let's move away".

(

Mr. Sheep Fat Squelchy Goodness, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:27, archived)

When they woke up in the morning

they weren't that surprised. They had been sick for a while now, and it was very cold last night.

(

Prof. Slocombe, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:30, archived)

ahhhhhhhhh

bless!

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:40, archived)

What consumers really want...

(BurningFeetMan, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:30, archived)

they leave a furry feeling in my mouth

Repost

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:35, archived)

that actually made me feel sick

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:36, archived)

thank god they aren't fish flavoured !

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:37, archived)

STOP!

just stop.....

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:44, archived)

TUNA

that is all !

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:45, archived)

have

decided never even to joke a bout becoming lesbian again

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:49, archived)

Ahhh

I wonder if I'll ever manage to repeat the catch phrase success enjoyed by "I can't fucking hummus" and "Cuntymints".

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:37, archived)

Those two phrases

have gone down in the anals of B3ta history.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:39, archived)

shut the fuck up Ian

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:39, archived)

you stupid bathroom!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:41, archived)

give it a go

a guy i used to work with (Genious but more mental than mental thing) used to use the word "Majigy" for everything....can you pass me the majigy, i need another majigy etc.....and the bastard thing stuck.
he also stuck the word...amaphone on the end of everything.
jiggamaphone.....dogamaphone....mouseamaphone...phoneamaphone

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:41, archived)

When my cousin

can't think of the word he's trying to say, he says chicken.
Strangely, I more than often understand him perfectly.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:42, archived)

scary

ain't it.

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:44, archived)

Chicken.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:46, archived)

chickenamaphone

that is all

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:49, archived)

Yes

but much like most of my favourite bands, I feel I have peaked with those two and now I've just lost the knack.

Mind Piss for example. While it is popular, it has not reached the giddy heights of Hummus, although its fans would claim that gives it a cult status, and is better because its not so "in your face" all the time.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:42, archived)

Although,

the re-birth of Mind Piss was due in no small part to a "Mind Piss drive", which I believe was masterminded by PickledPizza at the second b3ta bash. So there you go.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:53, archived)

ah,

so long ago...

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:41, archived)

(kitten vice, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:29, archived)

nutter

! :)

(

mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:32, archived)

Pathetic

Riding someone's good idea like that. Sorry

(

xian, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:29, archived)

Ahh yes, but

where "Ohmigod" sounds almost but not quite entirely unlike "Amiga", Meagre actually does sound entirely unlike "Commodore" :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:30, archived)

Acutely aware...

...of that. Considered pitching for a pun, but thought it a fairer reflection of my sorry posting state and blatant nickage of idea to go with the truth.

Don't think I'm proud.

(

xian, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:33, archived)

it's the thought that counts

/flattered

(

crouchingbadger, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:41, archived)

I am still

impressed and currently smirking at my desk at work

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:33, archived)

more

apologies

(

ablufia v0.43 - have your face drawn, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:42, archived)

"dictaphone" is now considered sexist, so..

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:21, archived)

hahahahahahaha

simple yet briliant

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:22, archived)

hehe

woo/yay:)

(

monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:23, archived)

*snort*

shouldn't it be vadge ?

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:26, archived)

teknilly,

yes :)
But technically it should be "dicktaphone" too, so I'm allowed :)

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:27, archived)

hairy muff

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:30, archived)

I'll allow that

what with me being an authority on such things.

Woo!

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:31, archived)

hehe

it was a lot ruder in my head :)
xxx

(

popt_art, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:27, archived)

hello you

holloway girl! ;)

(

LittlePixel, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:28, archived)

well,

yes. :)

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:28, archived)

Alright you

good chrimble?

(

weebl Mashed farts, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:33, archived)

(

LittlePixel, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:20, archived)

Love it.

WHERE do I get my Domo at?

(BurningFeetMan, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:21, archived)

Meaning

you want Domo Links?

Try this...

(

LittlePixel, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:23, archived)

hehe,

Nah, I want the real thing! I would spend HOURS shopping the little bastard!

(BurningFeetMan, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:31, archived)

Oh in that case

try here...?

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:45, archived)

Thankyou

I am in process of buying now!
My own Domo... Mmm!

(

LittlePixel, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:08, archived)

I loves Domo

(angrybernard, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:25, archived)

bugger

It died after 1 year and 1 week to be fucking precise, with a thesis I was in the middle of writing on it. Now to shout at HP.

ps. Thesis is safe. Thank. The. Lord.

(

bigdave, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:19, archived)

woo yay

glad thesis is ok

(

thebear is thebear, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:23, archived)

Must change name....

Sodding HP phone number doesn't work!

(

bigdave, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:42, archived)

I know the feeling...

I've had mine for 2 years now and...
6 new HD's
1 new screen.

(

Hugo Rune, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:26, archived)

my battery has gone

on mine. :(
how much are batteries to replace usually for laptops?

(

mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:31, archived)

have just no sound for no particularly good reason

but I did just spray it silver this weekend....sad

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:35, archived)

I always have mine plugged in

battery is least of my worries.

(

bigdave, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:44, archived)

And one inexplicable death

at the hands of lumpbucket!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:35, archived)

'Tis the season

a mate of mine just had a 60GB drive dop out after merely 4 months - luckily all it held was his missus' university work and all his movies and mp3s... Nothing "important." :-/

p.s. Morning all, nice to see the spazz is only an hour on the first page - the furtive season has finally resumed!

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:42, archived)

HP support line doesn't work

But I have a 2 year guarantee at John Lewis!
Huzzah! (Huzzahish)

(

bigdave, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:03, archived)

I'm know

it's very bad and not actually a Next Generation hat, but
I spent the weekend watching Brass Eye

(

Ijon Tichy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:17, archived)

so that's

where the Shatner's Bassoon is.

It's a fucking disgrace!

;p

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:21, archived)

just sent you

an e-mail sir.

(

Dr Drink, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:25, archived)

groovy

Won't be able to pick the bugger up till I get back from work :(

Alternatively you could try old_chap{at}hotmail{dot}com

smart, ace and skill

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:36, archived)

Unfortunately

David Amess fled my constituency before I could take the piss and vote him out of office.

(

Ijon Tichy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:26, archived)

hahaha

a moment of comedy genius from the man Morris.

(

Dr Drink, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:21, archived)

I was in the tube today

I noticed black fluff all over, which made me wonder if the infestation of horses is back.

All I can remember is the home secretary and a special gun.

(

crouchingbadger, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:25, archived)

I remember

Ted Maul reporting that one. A special team of fluffers sent in to clear out the Tube Mares.

That was one of my faves.

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:37, archived)

yes!

Do you happen to remember the story that ended with Chris Morris saying "with a special moth" in a Michael Buerke voice?

(

crouchingbadger, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:42, archived)

I think that's something to do with

Parading a rotten wolf through Amsterdam.

Could be my mind making that one up though.

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:54, archived)

Found this in some old police files

Jack 'The Hat' McVitie

Ahhhhh forget it

(mister nice guy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:16, archived)

No, I like that very much.

Here:

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:21, archived)

would I be right in saying that

that cat is a memeber of the 'justified ancients of mu mu'?

(longboy_mcgoo, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:24, archived)

sort of.

The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu are essentially only a sub-set of the original KLF though.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:39, archived)

YAY!

fun with venn!

(longboy_mcgoo, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:42, archived)

dammit

i tried that pun a while back and nobody got the me-ewe me-ewe bit!
and the kitten liberation front denied all knowledge of any such sect...

pussies!

and they drive an ice cream van!

(Murun Buchstansangur's hairpiece, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 12:03, archived)

extreme survival

Ray decided it was time that his survival training went back to first principles...

(angrybernard, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:09, archived)

A ha ha ha,

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:10, archived)

i've said it before

and i'll bloody well say it again,
that's one of the best woo yays ever.

(

StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:14, archived)

Hi cockalorum

to you too sir.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:15, archived)

How

do you get the funky woo yays?

(

4838 Let the man go through, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:21, archived)

you sponge them

off the moist growth that you sometimes find on hummus.

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:22, archived)

That

is science in action

(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:24, archived)

practice

(

Craymen, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:31, archived)

Woo's go much deeper...

(BurningFeetMan, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:33, archived)

you can use others

as inspiration

(

StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:57, archived)

Sheer talent.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:32, archived)

love it

he's a nutter

(

M@rkoni, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:13, archived)

class

(

StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:14, archived)

hehe

(

mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:14, archived)

that is brilliant

and i like it.

(

mikeisbrill, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:15, archived)

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