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# 2nd
in a pointless series....old comedians/political figures....

Harold...Harold...get me home...I dont like leading the british forces in africa...get me back to me yard...Harold !!

(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:32, archived)
# you dirty old rat
hmm. not sure that mixed catchphrase really worked.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:35, archived)
# not really
but i know what you meant
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:40, archived)
# this is a good one also
www.b3ta.com/board/profile.php?id=666
well it could have been but its not.
edit:opps I wasted a thread
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:30, archived)
# profile id 999
belongs to LetsbyAvenue
no it doesn't
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:32, archived)
# yeah i looked that up once.
ID number 1337 has comic potential too.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:32, archived)
# there's a long way to go
but when we get there I want id no. 8008135
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:35, archived)
# surely it's 5318008 you want?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:47, archived)
# or
55378008?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:51, archived)
# Question
We all have id numbers on this board right?
i'm 4218
Bovine is 1207
etc

i wondered who was no. 1

so i went here to find out

buttercup has been a member for 33 years?
hows that work?

(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:24, archived)
# he's a clever
guy.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:25, archived)
# or a clever cow
with a name like that...!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:29, archived)
# I'm saying nothing...
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:31, archived)
# is that not cal?
he knows, and sees all.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:25, archived)
# the orginal b3tan
had to have been a b3ta all his/her life for it to work

edit... ooohhh... my first public drumming performance on wednesday 8D
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:25, archived)
# woo!
carry spare sticks and don't get pissed before the show. And remember everything will feel too slow cos of the adrenaline :-)
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:37, archived)
# 1 is the monolith from 2001: a space odyssey
best not to delve too much further.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:27, archived)
# it was back when the "web" was...
infomation past on a series spiders webs spanning all of wales
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:29, archived)
# "need...smaller...head..."
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:23, archived)
# blimey!
I like puffins i do. I think they're cute.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:26, archived)
# you should go
to anglesea. lots of puffins there.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:27, archived)
# I'll give it a go
in my lunchbreak, ta.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:29, archived)
# you live
in north wales?

you can go on puffin-watching holidays you know.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:34, archived)
# cool
yet could get boring if it was 2 weeks of puffins
id want some variation in birds
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:43, archived)
# i think they're
weekends.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:45, archived)
# coo
I likes that, I feel arse today but that cheered me up no end.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:41, archived)
# A number of you wacky b3tans may not know this, but...
if you slowly 'milk' a dog's snout by gently gripping its face and massaging towards the nose, the spittle which gathers at the front of its jowl can be dried into a smokeable resin.
The psychotropic effect is that of a mild euphoria but nausea can result if combined with an excess of alcohol.
Just wondered if you knew.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:22, archived)
# Does that work
with cats?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:22, archived)
# never
tried it with cats. the jowls seem too little to yield a decent harvest.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:24, archived)
# And Badgers?
Hmmm?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:26, archived)
# i think you should be locked up
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:22, archived)
# oh like we haven't done that before!
you big silly.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:23, archived)
# i don't believe you
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:23, archived)
# try it...
it'll put your current dealer out of business.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:28, archived)
# and your current dog
in hospital...?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:30, archived)
# I said massage the jowls gently!
If your dog is harmed you're doing it wrong.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:33, archived)
# as with
so many recreational experiments.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:36, archived)
# what about if you just
drink it by the pint?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:27, archived)
# yeah, you see ive tried this..
its difficult to collect those sort of quantities without it inevitably drying into its resin form anyway beforehand- its clearly intended to be smoked.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:30, archived)
# Just wondered ?
How the hell did you find that out ? This has got to be a wind up. Fucksocks I got 4 cats, gonna by a dog lunchtime! You sure pick up some weird and twisted info here @ b3ta. God dang !
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:38, archived)
# No wind up
and you're wasting your time with those little cat jowls.
Get busy down your local kennels and pronto, Tonto!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:46, archived)
# nothing ventured, nothing gained.
they probably laughed at the guy who first brewed a drink from grains and hops and shit.
:-)
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:48, archived)
# valentine serendipity
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:17, archived)
# oi!!!
i was edgeware road!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:19, archived)
# mornington
crescent
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:21, archived)
# i'm not sure you're playing by the rules...
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:24, archived)
# oi
so was I
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:22, archived)
# No!
I'm Sparticus!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:24, archived)
# i'm brian
and so is my wife!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:25, archived)
# liddle bid a
mind piss
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:27, archived)
# I'm
a lumber jack and I'm all right!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:28, archived)
# OK! you are OK
not all right.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:32, archived)
# well it's not right
but it's ok...
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:38, archived)
# depends on
the verse

don't it?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:42, archived)
# i blame
whitney houston.

for everything!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:45, archived)
# No!
I'm Brian!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:26, archived)
# i was edgeware road
and hugo was beside me as Baker Street?

i am talking about Tomsks tube map...?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:25, archived)
# ooohh
have you got a link to that please, I haven't seen it yet
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:28, archived)
# i've tried a search
but for this kind of thing you need the power of the Fnord.. sorry
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:39, archived)
# me, too
i used to be isthisyou, you see
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:29, archived)
# you were?
i thought that was slim, for some reason...
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:23, archived)
#
weird!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:19, archived)
# I think we should watch this one.
He'll be trawling through our bins for tit-bits.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:22, archived)
# Dear Donkey day eight...

Click here for the full shellfish shtory

Previously on Dear Donkey:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:16, archived)
# brilliant

very
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:21, archived)
# these are
VERY good :)

guardian gig?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:21, archived)
# Haven't worked out
a contact yet
[edit] Anyone?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:22, archived)
# Another winner
ace
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:22, archived)
# why...
that's just swell!
w/y/h
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:24, archived)
# i love these
they are much funnier than the real things

every day, i look forward to dear donkey and traffic light wars
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:24, archived)
# LMFAO!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:29, archived)
# Heh heh
Excellent :)
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:29, archived)
# i like the
expression on the male kangaroo's face in the bottom frame of number 6.

these are bloody funny.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:29, archived)
# It's supposed to be reminiscent
of Tim's look to camera from The Office
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:32, archived)
# Where's the porn star
You met on those Dominican beaches??
:p
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:37, archived)
# Can't believe
you recognised the beaches!!!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:39, archived)
# oh yes
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:42, archived)
[challenge entry] Floaty
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:15, archived)
# thats
very good. :D wyh
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:42, archived)
[challenge entry] smart boy
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:14, archived)
# Its
amazing is`nt it...you would almost think it real....

(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:14, archived)
# oooooooooh
poor taste but brilliantly done
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:15, archived)
# isn't it ???
Hmmmm
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:15, archived)
# oh yes!
very much indeed i feel!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:17, archived)
# It might be cold out there
But Stuart seems to feel that spring is on its' way.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:13, archived)
# its gorgeous here
in Aberystwyth
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:14, archived)
# he
ran out in front of our car this morning. silly stuart!
WooYayHoupla
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:14, archived)
# ha ha ha ha
absolute
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:15, archived)
# i like that
i like that a lot.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:22, archived)
# that's lovely
I want him here, so he can run around the office.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:18, archived)
# stuart...
hahahahaha
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:19, archived)
# Oooh more to cheer me up
and two frontpage lovelies. Crikey heck.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:44, archived)
# serves him right...
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:12, archived)
# Hahahahh
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:13, archived)
# Egg sell ant
woo.

WHat a miserable twunt Fergie is.

edit: current rumour is that it was actually a scuffle between Beckham and Keane that Fergie broke up - and it was at this point that Beckham's eye got hurt...
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:15, archived)
# when i saw the headline this morning
I wondered what the hell was going on. Only just relised I was thinking of the wrong Fergie.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:19, archived)
# they had news24 on in the canteen with the sound down
and they were showing all these stills so i thought, "fuck, he's died!".

i'll admit to a sense of anti-climax when i learned it was only two bloody stitches, but i still laughed like a drain.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:23, archived)
# heheheheheheh
you laughing made me laugh.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:24, archived)
# 'Look at the size of my cock'
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:06, archived)
# hehe
:)
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:07, archived)
# Pffttt!
tiny.

mines much bigger then that.

(and you should see the size of its eggs)
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:08, archived)
# cocks don't lay eggs
you silly chicken
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:14, archived)
# Damn it
i been fleeced again, i was told it was a cock.

all the while i've been wondering why the eggs are'nt hatching, bastard, i knew i should have got it checked by the vet.

in a plus note, the omlettes are fantastic.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:16, archived)
# hahahaha
you can never have enough cock jokes

das ist woo und yay!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:09, archived)
# do you like chickens?
suck my cock,it's fowl!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:16, archived)
# Do you like fruit?
Well suck my cock, it's a peach
/Sid The Sexist
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:18, archived)
# look at that blokes face -
he can't believe his luck.
If he thinks that'll fit in the oven tho, I think he is mistaken.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:09, archived)
# no problems
we'll just roast it over an open fire for 2 days, job done, juicy chicken for everyone.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:10, archived)
# oooh yum - bovine
you need a big juicy cock for the b3taf3st. Take note.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:11, archived)
# imagine the amount of
half barrel bar-b-q's you'd need to cook that.

maybe need to baste it in napalm.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:14, archived)
# true - but you could make lovely soup with
the leftovers and feed the homeless for a few years.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:16, archived)
# thats sir
is a splendid idea, a feed the world soup kitchen.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:17, archived)
# OH BTW
you do realise that you Andi and I are going to attend the B3TA fest thingy don't ya !

So get your request into your mrs now !
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:24, archived)
# that was odd -
for a minute I thought you were talking to me - I got a bit scared. and i don't have a Mrs.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:28, archived)
# Pretend I was
you no have a Mrs ? - me either.

How about a Mr ?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:34, archived)
# when is the f3st?
and i'll sort it out.

why didn't you call me saturday?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:28, archived)
# I didn't get up til about 11:30
and I suspected in any event that you were not gonna be up for going out ?

Later on however, I came to realise that I was soooooo tired I probably wouldn't have been able to make it myself.

This weekend if you want !?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:33, archived)
# can't this weekend
spending two days slapping people about.

weekend after, up in staffs gettign pissed at my mates place.

weekend after that TBC (very soon ;) )
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:39, archived)
# silly chicken?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:10, archived)
# hehehe
your a nob!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:10, archived)
# that's
just a very small man
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:11, archived)
# But from the man's point of view
his cock must seem huge.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:13, archived)
# dagnammit
out-smarted again!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:15, archived)
# *snort!*
*chortle*
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:15, archived)
# I like the way
it is pulling him off the ground :)
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:17, archived)
# unlurking
no doubt off topic and breaking ettiqutee, for which I'm sorry.
obligatory, long time lurker, first time poster.



did this a few weeks ago but never posted, but it looks like it's time to join a bandwagon
"yes we're all individuals"

edit: oh joy! front page! self actualized too early

(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:05, archived)
# i can't wait
til it hits the floor!!!

woo!
*splat*
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:06, archived)
# ooh - you quoted python.
you bad.

but woo/yay/houpla for plummeting kitty.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:07, archived)
# the bit where he goes up a bit
makes him look like he should have a parachute - like he's being buffeted by the wind and stuff... do you know what I mean? Me likey.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:12, archived)
# he's freeeeeeeeee
freeeeefallin'
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:13, archived)
# took boomin' ages
three different layers of buffeted kitten and a backdrop I'm still not happy with
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:15, archived)
# well I wouldn't worry
i think you've been a hit with the b3tans, so it was worth it.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:17, archived)
# *shucks*
love to know the etymol...itimol...tetymolo..history of 'shucks'
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:22, archived)
# well done
you frontpaged
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:12, archived)
# chuffin downhill
from here
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:23, archived)
# i lurve it!
but you might wanna look out for enraged kitten-owners ;)
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:29, archived)
# No idea
but approx a minute and a halfs work.

www.wn.com.au/mtarozzi/woot.html
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:04, archived)
# Warning:
if you are epileptic, or just dont like flashy things, no clicky.

Good work btw :)
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:05, archived)
# this thread is being jacked
is this glasscock? clicky

anyone know who made it?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:06, archived)
# that is really nice
me likes
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:11, archived)
# Very nice
me likey too.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:16, archived)
# wow
may cause twitching
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:06, archived)
# Gah!
My eyes, my beautiful eyes!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:12, archived)
[challenge entry] Being driven insane by the constant wagging...

Betsy eventually chased her nose into oncoming traffic
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:01, archived)
# far

too

good
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:02, archived)
# Hahahahahaha
Funny and disturbing at the same time.

Here's another dog nose.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:03, archived)
# How much is that doggy in the window
The one with the waggly tai....nose


The houp-las are on me!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:03, archived)
# wonderful!
yay!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:04, archived)
# class
in a glass
making a pass at a lass with sass!


yes I know they should be larse and sarse to make sense
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:04, archived)
# seems to
rhyme perfectly to me. only soft southern ponces would have a problem.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:05, archived)
# You mean those of us that can talk properly?
;)
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:06, archived)
# You can't talk properly
It's the South that strayed from original pronunciation. Shakespeare was Northern!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:16, archived)
# oh yeah
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:06, archived)
# jesus on a velocipede

woo!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:08, archived)
[challenge entry] Octopuppy

First challenge post.
Clickage4biggage
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:00, archived)
# that is fan
tastic! top quality work there.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:02, archived)
# Those tentacles suck...
get it? SUCK? I'm such a genius!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:02, archived)
# I'd be careful when talking about
sucking tentacles
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:04, archived)
# anime porn?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:06, archived)
# is there something about you
we should know?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:07, archived)
# possibly
I'm not even sure where I was going with that remark
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:11, archived)
# Usually hentai...
features poking-type tantacles...I was told
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:08, archived)
# that's the one.
....apparently
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:22, archived)
# mmmm
tasty
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:03, archived)
# aaaaaaaaaahhhhh
NONO GET OFF ME! WAAAHHH!
/sucked in by tentacles
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:04, archived)
# I just saw the pics.
I think I may start calling Mnb Mini Me.
He's like a smaller, thiner, much better looking version of me!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:06, archived)
# hehehee
thats got me chuckling...
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:07, archived)
# ha ha ha
a pic of that could be in order me thinks
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:08, archived)
# errraaaarrrggghh!
yay!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:04, archived)
# cripes!
poor bugger looks well fed-up!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:06, archived)
# woo
i wanwun
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:07, archived)
# And
now a word from Rigsby churchill....OHH miss jones...

(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 11:56, archived)
# fanfuckingtastic
EDIT:
Ooh, Mr Rigsby
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 11:57, archived)
# took me a while to realise
that had been chopped.

I didn't get where I am today.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:01, archived)
# he he
that rocks.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:01, archived)
# teehee
on a related note - was it Manic with a "Make tea not war" picture of Tony Blair at the march? - if so there was a huge picture of him in the Telegraph on Sunday
(i was at my parents' house, it was either that or the Daily Mail)
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:01, archived)
# there were loads of those posters about
Someone had a great "Down with this sort of thing" one. That made me laugh
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:08, archived)
# that's a Father Ted reference
unless I'm not the geek I think I am.
Feck off cup!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:12, archived)
# careful now
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:12, archived)
# Something
tells me, some people were not taking this seriously.
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:22, archived)
# you wouldn't be wrong
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:22, archived)
# several of those
but we were the only nohands bearers.

and "graham says: no war" - can't imagine why anyone dropped that banner...
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:25, archived)
# Doh!


I was only trying to take a picture for the When Photoshopping becomes real page, and look what happened. Bloody nightmare!
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 11:56, archived)
# hehe
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 11:56, archived)
# hehe
nice one.
i love that pace. it am da bestest
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 11:57, archived)
# *parp*
*honk screeeech crash*
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 11:58, archived)
[challenge entry] Top o' the mornin

(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 11:49, archived)
# love those dogs
woo
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 11:52, archived)
# What?
Controled explosive dogs?
(, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 12:05, archived)

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