alrite you bunch of shepherders(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 18:31,
archived)
You can't prove I've ever shepherded anything.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Jan 2025, 18:32,
archived)
Multi-talented chap, since he also built my hotrod.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Jan 2025, 20:17,
archived)
i heard he put satan in it as your motor(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 20:19,
archived)
You're thinking of Ken Clarke(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Jan 2025, 1:38,
archived)
Star Trek prick(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 21:38,
archived)
I prefer to identify as a bungalower.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 15:29,
archived)
That's the same but the other party is an OAP with dementia...You sicko!
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 16:42,
archived)
I'm a chalet bungalower, apparently.Never heard of them before I moved into one.
(, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 15:40, archived)
I am, indeed, moving into a cottage (
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 15:43,
archived)
I don't get bungalows with upstairs. Always been a thing tho . I personally live in a normal one story bungalow (
mongychops, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 18:32,
archived)
Whoever did it made the most of the space, nice big staircase and 3 decent sized spare rooms + toilet upstairs.House is from the 1930s though, and you really don't want to know about the wiring.
(, Fri 10 Jan 2025, 8:56, archived)
If someone proffers you an unwashed cock in a public convenience,is that cottage cheese?
(
.Yeti., Thu 9 Jan 2025, 15:50,
archived)
If you punch a hole in it it's Swiss Cottage Cheese(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 16:12,
archived)
Greenhouser here, I like everyone to see(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 17:44,
archived)
Bog brush (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Jan 2025, 14:30,
archived)
morningback once again for the fennel sausage drill rapper
(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 7:00,
archived)
-5.5 here(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Jan 2025, 8:57,
archived)
Nobody likes a show off, WindyExcept me. I fucken love one.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 8:58,
archived)
Yeah, well I'll show off this*points at crotch*
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Jan 2025, 9:01,
archived)
You don't have to one-up him, you know.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Jan 2025, 10:56,
archived)
Still can't believe how much ice and snow there is where you are.Proper treacherous conditions.
(, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 10:13, archived)
Bit soon mate(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Jan 2025, 7:34,
archived)
Will Crapper(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Jan 2025, 8:25,
archived)
I'm filled with an urgeto do the Bossanova. Let's fire up the Bontempi and get dancing!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 8:30,
archived)
This is the sort of ill behaviour up with which I won't put.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 9:47,
archived)
It's not that bad, you need to check your head.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Jan 2025, 10:05,
archived)
I think you meant "once again, back"(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 15:36,
archived)
Cool, I like listening to seed drill and uplifting vocal houseplant.(, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 12:21, archived)
Early evening threadI've just had a peppermint tea like some kind of Moroccan. It's a fookin disgrace.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:25,
archived)
Waiting on my weed to turn up. Hope it's soon . I've done 2 days clean (
mongychops, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:28,
archived)
Mostly,Took on a management role so I'm off the tools 2 or 3 days a week, but still get to go do the jobs I fancy
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:40,
archived)
Nice, I never really enjoyed management. I like being left alone (
mongychops, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:52,
archived)
I left my last job because I ended up doing the same old management shit I did for the past 28-odd yearsNot what I want to do at all. Unfortunately this means my cv looks like I want jobs I really fucking don't. I want to learn a craft.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:54,
archived)
It's hard to change down a gear. People think you'll just fuck off, or the bosses realise you can do more and loads it on you, normally for less money. I've adapted my CV , I even take qualifications off for roles that don't need to know (
mongychops, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 19:09,
archived)
So I've discoveredMy plan for this new round of applications is not to send a cv at all with my initial email, hoping I can talk to them first to explain myself before they get put off by my cv
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 19:11,
archived)
I'd like to be 3 or 4 days a week, you'd think some company would think yeah pro rata. No interest yet. Only started looking 10th last month (
mongychops, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 19:15,
archived)
I don't mind it so far, I'm variously removed from any of the big nonsense and I can always claim to be too busy for bullshit meetings by insisting a job I need to do is urgent.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:58,
archived)
I have some malana cream hash but it's running fucking low so I'm ekeing it out as far as possible(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:50,
archived)
Ain't no hashish round here, all fake cali . Still it does it's job. Lemon raz gelato today, I stopped looking up the strains as it's pointless (
mongychops, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:53,
archived)
I'm having some sausages I got off the butcher at work,But to stay true to my working class roots I'm pairing them with some oven cooked potato smileys and a mixed salad
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:39,
archived)
I didn't say I was going to eat it.It's just going to be on the plate like at a wetherspoons. Nobody ever eats the salad.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:46,
archived)
I'd rather be in a spoons than pay 7 quid a pint at the sort of pub a posh cunt like you drinks inI bet you've got the sort of mates that "split the G"
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:51,
archived)
I got bumraped for £7.75 for an Asahi in Paddington Station a couple of weeks agowhat a world
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:52,
archived)
My brother is living in Woolwich. Now the old gun pit is closed there is literally nowhere to get a pint under 6 quid apart from the great harry
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:54,
archived)
I'm not too far from there but it's not an area I know at all tbhI know there's a super highly rated Nepalese restaurant there, that's pretty much it
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:58,
archived)
It's all either proper old school London grim or modern hipster gentrification grimNo middle ground at all. But my brother is a proper craft beer and 50 quid hair cut cunt so he loves it.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:59,
archived)
He's not more than a bus away to better pubs tho. Woolwich is completely different from when I was a kid getting my McDonald's there. 1st one in England (
mongychops, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 19:12,
archived)
Still got a wimpy though.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 19:19,
archived)
Certainly has, and a 14 year old drill rapper was killed on the bus yesterday, still got 80s vibe (
mongychops, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 19:24,
archived)
Was drill around in the 80s?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 19:26,
archived)
Bout time I made sausages againIt's been fucking ages, I want to make some spicy Italian fennel ones
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:51,
archived)
That sounds pretty beezerI'm slowly building up a decent kitchen set up, already got all the coffee and pasta making shit, and a sous vide bath thing, maybe I should get a sausage maker
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:54,
archived)
The best piece of cooking kit I ever got was a smokerCold smoked salmon and bacon in winter, hot smoked ribs and shit in the summer. Nothing I like more than fannying about in the garden all day whilst drinking beer.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:56,
archived)
Good shout.You bother with a proper pizza oven? I was looking at the ooni stuff
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:57,
archived)
I'd really like one but it would cause 'trouble at home' if I got one, I have so much stuffMy compromise is a 6mm thick baking steel which makes domestic oven pizzas a whole lot better
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 19:09,
archived)
I'll get one and then in the summer you can come here and make me pizza(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 19:21,
archived)
can confirmi got a smoke rig bbq steel last year, possibly on your advice, game changer
(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 7:15,
archived)
It's fucking snowed like a cunt here and I'm on the coast,weather eh?
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:43,
archived)
Have you been out to make a nice snow angel?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:43,
archived)
Peppermint tea is for blobbing birds and Moroccans(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 22:00,
archived)
EveningMy bootleg DVD of Blade Runner is offering tonight's entertainment
(, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 0:04, archived)
This is too criminal underworld for me, have I ventured onto "The Dark Web" by mistake?(, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 8:19, archived)
Dork web more like(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 9 Jan 2025, 9:42,
archived)
What did you miss most about me while I've been gone.And what do you want to know about what I've been up to.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:34,
archived)
Also, what have you been up to?If it's anything to do with your motorbike, dogs or girlfriend, I'm not interested. I'll take any bass playing anecdotes off your hands though
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:40,
archived)
I joined another band playing sort of weird shoe gaze They're all young and hip and I'm just the fat guy at the back of the stage trying to squeeze a bass run in to a pretty boring chord progression and seeing if I can drink a whole bottle of Corona for each song in the set.
How are you.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:43,
archived)
Nice!My youngest plays guitar in a decent little rock band now. They have a gig on Friday actually, if you happen to find yourself in sunny (cold and wet) Fareham
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:49,
archived)
And I am fine thank you I nearly died a couple of years back, but I didn't so...yeah.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:51,
archived)
I'm not going to Fareham, Also glad you didn't die.
My girlfriend left me and now I'm very lonely.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:51,
archived)
No I don't blame you Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Is this a recent thing?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:56,
archived)
End of 202315 years together and she called it a day. To be fair, it has probably run it's course. But, I now have my own house and I can park motorbikes indoors and hang bass guitars on the wall instead of art
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:07,
archived)
No, Fareham's been around since before Roman times around a crossing point of the River Wallington,close to the top of what is now High Street. The Romans came to the area in about AD43 and built a large fortress at Portchester to shelter their garrison and defend Portsmouth Harbour. Evidence of settlements in the Second Ice Age and Saxon times have been suggested by the discovery of flint arrowheads, knives and other implements at Hill Head. During the Iron Age, the Celts are believed to have used the River Meon as a harbour.
The Domesday Book of 1086 showed that the present Borough of Fareham comprised of the 'Hundred of Ferneham' (Fareham), the 'Hundred of Ticefelle' (Titchfield) and the 'Manor of Porcestre' (Portchester).
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:08,
archived)
Lol.old(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:12,
archived)
Have you considered getting a new girlfriend?Or a horse?
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:56,
archived)
I hope you get either or both of those things, depending on what you want.And all the other things you want too, if indeed there is more to life than a girlfriend and/or a horse.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:13,
archived)
Maybe a few glasses of beer on an evening.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:14,
archived)
Christ, I didn’t know you were going to be that greedy.I hope you get soft porn on VHS and the front half of a weasel.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 18:14,
archived)
That's too painful for me to begin to answer.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:47,
archived)
Want to suck my zube?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:52,
archived)
That's between me and my little pony.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:55,
archived)
Christ, it can't be that old surely. I'm sure I remember the adswww.alamy.com/stock-photo-advert-in-magazine-circa-1952-for-zube-menthol-cough-sweets-32438248.html
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:57,
archived)
Zubes are good for your tubes!(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 9 Jan 2025, 10:44,
archived)
I missed your elegant panache and devil-may-care attitudeAnd Gerald anecdotes.
I know that you went on a euro trip because I'm a cyber stalker and sex addict
I've started curing some pork belly to make streaky bacon, so deal with it.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:05,
archived)
Gerald retired.Luckily, one of the other blokes in the workshop has gone absolutely conspiracy crazy.
Yesterday he told me that he has proof that they're poisoning tap water because his dog has stopped drinking out of the bowl but happily drinks out of puddles.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:09,
archived)
quality, people like that are an endless source of entertainment(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:12,
archived)
I also got some art you would like.imgur.com/a/A825VxU
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:10,
archived)
ha, remember when they were sat behind us at dinner?that restaurant is twice the price and shit now :(
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:19,
archived)
I do indeed. That was a nice little restaurant
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:20,
archived)
they still have another one round the corner which remains great, thank fuck(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:26,
archived)
how many arms and legs do you have these days?(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:13,
archived)
The normal amount(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:17,
archived)
I can be whoever you want me to be for the right price.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:28,
archived)
The kindness and laughterAnd what you had for dinner yesterday
(
$$ ✅, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:34,
archived)
Chicken Thai curry and sticky rice(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:39,
archived)
My girlfriend really liked your username.She's my wife now, but I'm sure she still likes it.
With age, have you become more windy, more porcine, neither, or both?
(, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:38, archived)
I don't think that's any of your fucking business if I'm honest.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:40,
archived)
You've certainly become more surly.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:49,
archived)
That's what he was like last time he was about, I remember him being much more amiable a few years earlier.To be fair, it is none of my fucking business.
(, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 16:00, archived)
I just want you to know, I care deeply about you.And I have become increasingly porcine as I've aged
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 16:07,
archived)
What did you miss about ME?I've gone from being called Garideb to Garidead to Garold over the years.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:41,
archived)
Probably all the sexy bum pictures you used to send me(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:45,
archived)
£92,500. Fuck. Me.my friend's siblings are the beneficiaires of a surprise bonus from her life insurance that we knew nothing about until a couple of weeks ago, now they're going to get £18,500 each. After inheritance tax (thank god some of these spoils are going to the treasury).
Who do you know who has been a jammy, undeserving twat?
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 9:39,
archived)
Me, I found a jam sandwich under a bush in the park(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 10:01,
archived)
porn in hedges white dog poo etc(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 10:58,
archived)
My fucking daughterShe's just inherited £37,115.15 from my brother (due on her £18th) and refuses to talk to me about his wishes because that will mean talking to me. What she also doesn't know is that the only reason she's getting a fucking penny is because I repeatedly had to beg him not to cut her out of his will because she never bothered to reply to his messages or thank him for gifts.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 10:16,
archived)
Bloody hellit's enough to make you want to ban inheritance altogether. I'm starting to believe that IHT is way too low.
I'm encouraging my folks to spend as much as possible while they're alive. Although, my mum's jewelry and gold collection and my dad's cars, motorbikes and assorted machinery are worth quite the pretty penny.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 10:32,
archived)
"If Bent You Were, You'll Die Old Bender"?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 13:43,
archived)
If I may askwhy did you bother?
(
theniwokeup has been awake since, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 11:20,
archived)
Because at heart she's a good kid but has been brainwashed by her cunt mumHopefully she studies for her degree in a place other than her mum's house and gains some perspective
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 11:59,
archived)
If she goes to uni she'll be brainwashed by liberal elite woke agenda.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 12:03,
archived)
No-one. I deserve everything that happens to me. (
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 10:43,
archived)
You're totally just jealous.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 10:57,
archived)
I could have just paid that straight into my account. The bank would not have batted an eyelid as it's an insurance payout. The beneficiaries would never have known. I could have just kept the money.
That's kind of why I got in touch with the solicitors as soon as I knew there was a payment coming in to stop me being tempted to keep the cash.
Really though. How often does someone randomly get paid nigh on a hundred grand that isn't expected anywhere else?
Could have easily had a Father Ted situation!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 11:09,
archived)
IT WAS JUST RESTING IN THE ACCOUNT!*sticks small bit of black tape to your window*
Hey, Garold, look outside for a sec and wave to me will you? Don't mind the camera.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 13:16,
archived)
I know I am I could do loads with £92,500like buy 92,500 scratch cards.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 11:13,
archived)
As an investement advice professional I recommend you do exactly this.That will be £1,800 please.
(, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 11:16, archived)
I'll pay you when the winnings roll in.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 12:18,
archived)
Unreleated but it's fast approaching the 2 year anniversary of me saying GEOSTORM on here for the first time.But I expect you all already knew that.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 11:04,
archived)
I AM SMEGROOT(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 11:14,
archived)
Me, possibly.My godmother appears to be loaded, never married or had children, and has terminal cancer. I reckon she'll probably leave it all to charity though, and fair enough if she does.
(, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 11:40, archived)
Could be interesting.(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 12:15,
archived)
My grandad left all his money to the local golf club which was well lol(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 12:21,
archived)
that's a great move!(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 12:27,
archived)
Seems like a fairway to use your money.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 13:37,
archived)
I wonder what they'll use all that money FORE!maybe a few cups of tee.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 14:04,
archived)
I bet that made you feel GOLF.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 15:50,
archived)
Those bloody immigrants amiriteComing over here, working in the NHS and taking valuable jobs away from Bob the brickie who totally could have got a job working as a neurosurgeon if it wasn’t for them forrins
(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 12:18,
archived)
shit night's kipmight as well get up and make pizza dough
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 6:56,
archived)
Once, I made some pizza dough and put it out to prove on the side.The dog, being a fucking wally, jumped up and ate a load, which carried on proving in his belly. He swelled up like a balloon and couldn't sit down without rolling over. Quick emergency trip to the vet and they got him to vomit it all up. 3kg of dough they got out of him, and he only weighed about 5kg. I loved that dog, the daft prick.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 9:03,
archived)
Fucking hell, how many pizzas were you planning on making? Or was it going to be one gigantic pizza?
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jan 2025, 9:15,
archived)
Fucking loads of candles there, lad.Nice one on surviving that long.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 9:17,
archived)
You'd need a massive birthday pizza to stick all those in.3kg of dough's worth, I reckon.
(, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 9:31, archived)
It was a batch so I could freeze some for later pizza (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 10:00,
archived)
I've done that before but found that defrosted pizza dough didn't quite rise as well as freshly made.Like the yeast was still alive but not quite firing on all cylinders.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jan 2025, 10:02,
archived)
It's less than ideal But also, sometimes I want pizza dont want to make dough.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 10:04,
archived)
Sounds like a plan, Homer Simpson!d'oh LOL!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 9:04,
archived)
Snow is all melted here, the difference when I go to work is MENTAL(, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 7:33, archived)
Send mongdaddy a gaz, he knows about this sort of thing.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jan 2025, 9:16,
archived)
I dreamed a dream of times gone by (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 8 Jan 2025, 9:01,
archived)
A dreamy dream of dreamers' dreamings(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 9:04,
archived)
Ooh it's a Wednesdayhow's 'bout that then?
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jan 2025, 9:04,
archived)
Would you like a kiss(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Jan 2025, 16:35,
archived)
You've been teased.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 18:36,
archived)
SozI had to do some stuff. I'm good now, been a funny old year but I'm back baby
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Jan 2025, 19:32,
archived)
No tongues please, I'm British(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 18:40,
archived)
What time do you call this?(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 17:14,
archived)
Go on then, don't mind if I do.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 12:01,
archived)
Alright.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Jan 2025, 12:14,
archived)
Dead I think.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Jan 2025, 12:07,
archived)
You forget yourself Viscount!Such behavior insults both the crown and your name.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 12:15,
archived)
Aren't they headlining infest?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Jan 2025, 13:02,
archived)
Well if he will go around dressed like a schoolgirlwith his hair in pigtails, hanging around Ali's kebabs asking what can he do to get a free donner... he's only got himself to blame.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 13:34,
archived)
No, I've just eaten (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 13:19,
archived)
Morningcough definitely getting better, back improved and cat recovering. Feels like we're on the mend.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 8:59,
archived)
Do you get to the cloud district very often?Oh what am I thinking, of course you don't.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 10:27,
archived)
Excuse me. Do you know any place where sailors hang out?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 10:36,
archived)
Last I heard he was at the Solitude docks,conducting the Emperor's departure.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 10:39,
archived)
"conducting the emperor's departure" is my new favourite having a wank euphemism(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 10:54,
archived)
I know smegma is not part of the ejaculate, but it rolls off the tongue nicely.(, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 11:01, archived)
It sticks to my tongue unpleasantly.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 11:11,
archived)
Says the guy who lives in a fucking pub Fuck you, Nazeem
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 11:16,
archived)
He's supposed to own a farm outsisde the city walls but due to a bug he never visits it.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 11:22,
archived)
That game is so beautifully brokenWhich is one the reasons I still play it
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 12:41,
archived)
I just started a new playthroughI haven't played it in years and I am loving it, almost broke it with mods of course but that's part of the experience.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 7 Jan 2025, 22:44,
archived)
What's this.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Jan 2025, 11:22,
archived)
No thanks (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Jan 2025, 11:26,
archived)
Stranger ranger danger.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Jan 2025, 11:41,
archived)
So are you, pal(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 7 Jan 2025, 11:54,
archived)
Ho'w do, fellow human'sDid'nt whan't too i'gno're the groce'rs apostroph'y, early'er.
Whats' for tea to'night?
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 17:38,
archived)
Morphine and solphadeen, rapped in cheeze stringsThee's arr a fue off my favaret things
(, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 22:29, archived)
I just this on the populolz page and could instantly tell what it was about.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 7 Jan 2025, 16:15,
archived)
Baked cod fillets with mini plum tomatoes and lemon, rosemary roasted baby potatoes and roasted broccoliniGu caramel puds to finish.
Not drinking so have to have a bit of a treat in other ways
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 18:07,
archived)
roasted broccoli/nitalk me through that, if you would be so kind
(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 19:21,
archived)
It’s broccolini that is roasted
(
Jimvin dropped plates on your arse at, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 21:18,
archived)
Tossed in olive oil, grated garlic and Turkish chilli flakes (pul biber)Roasted on tray for 10-15 mins at 170c fan. Squeeze of lemon before serve
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 23:03,
archived)
Spaghetti Bolognese Ready Meal PopYou keep it in the freezer for a day, take it out, peel off the packaging and then stab it with a stick and lick to your heart's content.
(, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 18:16, archived)
beef brisket slow cooked in beernot just beer, but there's a pint in there, oh boy
(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 19:18,
archived)
afternoon, bellend'sI'm going to start looking for a new job this week
lol job
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 12:06,
archived)
We’ve just advertised for a Scrum MasterJust in case you wanted to be paid a lot of money for a job that adds absolutely no value to society
(
Cheers Cheers, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 12:35,
archived)
*Slack alert from Annoying Cow**Asking for the 5th "huddle" of the day because she hasn't really got work to do but wants to appear productive*
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 12:43,
archived)
Maybe she's just trying to get into your Trousers, Dave.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 12:49,
archived)
*Uses Post-It notes like it's the '90s*(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 12:52,
archived)
Post-It notes stopped working after a whileI just started to ignore anything yellow and square.
(, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 12:54, archived)
*switches to neon orange*(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 12:55,
archived)
I miss *real* Post-its.All this Mural shite can bugger off.
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 17:58,
archived)
Is that for a drinking game?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 12:56,
archived)
Don't look into it - you won't be able to un-learn some of the BS.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 13:04,
archived)
I still think about Six Sigma...It seems pleasant in comparison.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 13:09,
archived)
It's a bit old. '90s, early '00s.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 14:31,
archived)
You should try and find something that combines all your passions. Some sort of poncy cooking show in the buff apart from an overpriced pair of trainers.Call it "The Naked Cunt"
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 13:01,
archived)
just re-visited this and can't stop laughing(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 12 Jan 2025, 10:04,
archived)
Lego are looking for a product safety officer for their electrical and digital products- in Denmark, with no relocation package.
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 13:27,
archived)
Sounds fairYou could live in the factory à la Phantom of the Opera.
(, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 13:31, archived)
What happened with your old job?Did you get caught smearing smeg on the smoked smews?
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 6 Jan 2025, 16:00,
archived)
I reckon he got caught using his work laptop to look at Lorraine Kelly upskirts.(, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 16:02, archived)
why don't you just retire and leave more work for us young'uns(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 17:15,
archived)
You are not young- immaturity doesn't count
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 17:32,
archived)
I AM YOUNGi run green
keep my teeth nice and clean
see my friend, see the sights
i feel alright
(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 18:42,
archived)
If it isn’t Micro Machines on the Mega Drive I’m not interested (
Cheers Cheers, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 7:55,
archived)
I will fight anyone who denies that Chip's Challenge on the Atari Lynx is the greatest.(, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 9:28, archived)
the dragon32 Chucky Egg port is the zenith of computer gamesand I will eviscerate and burn the corpses of anyone who challenges that assertion
(, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 11:02, archived)
Have you poor bastards never played The Hobbit on Commodore 64?AARDVARK SITS DOWN AND STARTS SINGING ABOUT GOLD.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 11:05,
archived)
I heard Pong on the Magnavox Odyssey is the absolute fucking BOMB yo(
Cheers Cheers, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 11:11,
archived)
Is that because you're so peng?I don't really know what that word means I'm so old
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 12:09,
archived)
Very good, top tier.The younglings use it mostly about food though. I think it's falling out of favor lately. That brainrot skibidi talk is taking over...
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 12:53,
archived)
Cheers understood the assignment.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 13:25,
archived)
Hellooit's fucking shit getting old. I coughed too hard yesterday and pulled a muscle in my lower back. I mean, this is ridiculous now. I'm necking brufen and pressing a hot water bottle to my lumbar. This aging malarky is dangerous.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 8:20,
archived)
I’ve had flu for 2 weeks now, still coughing my guts up. Fun times.(
Cheers Cheers, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 10:03,
archived)
I made the mistake of coughing while reaching an arm outfucking hell, felt like I'd gone a round with someone doing MMA. Was bad when I woke uptoday but after a coupe of pain killers and a bit of moving around it's barely noticable.
I can't believe the coughing though - it's over two weeks now and there's still a lot of phlegm to come out...
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 11:38,
archived)
Put my back out for 3 days once By yawning
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 11:45,
archived)
I popped a rib with a badly timed sneeze and a heavy mis-placed foot-fall.lol oldness.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 12:56,
archived)
Surely the next jab will protect you?Get two, just to be sure.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 13:00,
archived)
Shit immune system you got there mate.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 12:58,
archived)
First time I’ve been properly ill in years but it’s probably done a number on my immune system tbf (
Cheers Cheers, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 13:23,
archived)
Stop ageing then.Increase your core strength and flexibility with varied exercise and stretches, consume iron rich red stuff and drink slightly more water than you think you want for energy, brain health and recuperative speed. Force yourself to have a little more dairy for the bone density. Go raving once in a while to maintain stamina. Learn to fall properly, which is as if you were a drunk teenager, and you won't hurt yourself.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 18:42,
archived)
Morning (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 6 Jan 2025, 9:09,
archived)
Mellow Birds have had their coffee.Before that, they're Angry Birds.
(
.Yeti., Mon 6 Jan 2025, 11:31,
archived)
one more drink then bedtimewho's having one?
(
MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 20:56,
archived)
Elon Musk calls for Nigel Farage to be replaced Reform leaderWell that went wrong quickly.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c70ep8lp4jjo
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 16:59,
archived)
Is this what 2025 is going to be, a supposed major broadcaster reporting on every tweet of a fucking stupid fucking cunt?(
Cheers Cheers, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 17:25,
archived)
I cancelled my licence 2 years agonot for any political reasons mind, just that Mrs Brown’s Boys is an actual war crime
(
Cheers Cheers, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 17:45,
archived)
No but I’ve had the threatening letters I genuinely don’t watch or record live TV or use iPlayer so my conscience is clean
unlike my skiddy pants
(
Cheers Cheers, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 17:50,
archived)
I used a TV, a VPN and an illegal fire stick, do I need a license? (
mongychops, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 18:02,
archived)
It’s prison for you I’m afraid.Guards, seize him!
(
Cheers Cheers, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 18:04,
archived)
You don't watch anything on any catch-up streaming? I got a licence when they changed the law to include the streaming services. I seem to remember the exceptions to TV licencing are very narrow.
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 17:56,
archived)
Only iPlayer is covered, streaming services are exempt but TV Licencing deliberately confuse the wording to make people pay when they don’t need one(
Cheers Cheers, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 18:01,
archived)
Unless you’re watching a live broadcast of a TV show on a streaming serviceWow Cheers this is really interesting stuff, please tell us more you dull prick
(
Cheers Cheers, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 18:02,
archived)
Nah, the more people that stop paying that BS, the better.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 18:04,
archived)
I'm pretty sure it covers All 4 or whatever it's called these days On account of them being licence fee funded too.
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 18:19,
archived)
He wants him replaced by Tommy Ten Names (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 18:05,
archived)
Who are you? What was your name before this one?Why do you change your name? Are you ashamed of yourself?
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 14:36,
archived)
Nuh-uh, not doing this again.B3ta: What's your favourite [media]?
User: It's [favourite media].
B3ta: *unleashes a half-hour torrent of mongtastic beakering about how [favourite media] is the shittest thing in the history of existence and User is an irredeemable cunt for liking it*
(
.Yeti., Sun 5 Jan 2025, 14:55,
archived)
What's this thing?(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 15:37,
archived)
Claims to be a new useryet knows about this place.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 16:46,
archived)
What's the worst movie you've never seen?(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 16:51,
archived)
Sex Lives of the Potato Men (2004)Never seen it, probably should get around to it though.
(, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 16:59, archived)
No thanks (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 13:11,
archived)
Snowing here, but pathetically - like an asthmatic maiden aunt trying to sing Queen on karaoke at Xmas.
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 4 Jan 2025, 21:56,
archived)
Living on my prednisalown(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 4 Jan 2025, 23:36,
archived)
Who wants to live forelvar(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 4 Jan 2025, 23:38,
archived)
Crazy Little Thing Called Emphysema (
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 5 Jan 2025, 0:05,
archived)
Big thick snowflakes here, as you'd expectfrom the dwelling of a communist-Nazi-Jew-loving liberal-fascist one world government ball-world-believing quinoa-knitting champagne sociopath wokerati Muslamic shape shifting reptilian justice warrior such as myself.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 4 Jan 2025, 23:27,
archived)
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