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# Interview with Kittenwar
Fraser and Tomsk of Kittenwar have a book coming out. As long term B3ta friends / collaborators / bumchums, we want to help get the word out to help them sell it.

To this end, we're doing an interview. So what questions would YOU like to ask them?

Book link:
www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0340910275/b3ta-21

Site link:
kittenwar.com/
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:32, archived)
# How many Kittens are required to fullfill "war" status?
Is the first casualty of war really innoncence, or is it usually civilians?
Why do some cats (but not all) refuse to look in mirrors?
How many kittens does it take to drive a M1 Abrams Battle Tank?
Smarties, was it a wise move to change the packaging, or have sales dramatically suffered?
Are kittens really the right choice for modern day tactical combat?
Do you have a cat yourself and what is it called?
And would you send it to war?

and finally:
War huh? what is it good for?

*EDIT - Happy B3rthday Rob, and I assume therefore.... Happy B3rthday B3ta!
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:33, archived)
# When are you starting Puppy war?
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:34, archived)
# and will it involve
top heavy lovelys in bikinis?
(I helped save b3ta! Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:42, archived)
# Were any kittens harmed in the making of this book?
/and happy B3taday
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:34, archived)
# Happy B3taday, rob!
rob!
EDIT: What's it like to be named after a womble?


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:35, archived)
# Crawly bumlick
:P
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:36, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:36, archived)
# 'nings uncle!!!
i'm seeing mum and dad at the end of the week!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:43, archived)
# Coo!
First time?


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:49, archived)
# yes....
*stretches*
will it be bad......
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:50, archived)
# oh YES!
They'll keep nipping off for sex and that . . .

Ashally . . . yer dad did say summat about laying a new patio . . . don't drink anything that tastes funny


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:54, archived)
# i ate a packet of nuts he sent down.....
OH GOD!!!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:56, archived)
# WOODWORM EGGS!
heheheheheeee
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:01, archived)
# ohhhh!!!
those cheeky scamps!!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:01, archived)
# 'how the hell does this concept work in a book form?'
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:36, archived)
# Suprisingly well
The proof copy I saw was really, really good. And has lots of pictures of kittens.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:49, archived)
# War! - What exactly is it good for?
EDIT: 'HUH'!
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:36, archived)
# Absolutely Nothing!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:37, archived)
# Huh
Say it again!
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:38, archived)
# ..
www.b3ta.com/board/7621775
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:39, archived)
# Needs more
HUH!
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:52, archived)
# edited, just for you
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:54, archived)
# *high fives*
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:57, archived)
# *high sixes*
/from Norfolk
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:58, archived)
# *stares disbelievingly at own thumbs*
/from Somerset
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:12, archived)
#
do you envisage this book selling well on the christmas market?
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:36, archived)
# War is wrong, so why do kittens partake in such an act?
Oh and happy b3taday!
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:37, archived)
# Happy b3taday!
Question - if we are all figments of our own imagination, why did we think up wasps?
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:37, archived)
# bcos your subconcious hates you
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:39, archived)
# Happy b3taday
Please ask them what their favourite dunking biscuit is.
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:37, archived)
# auntie!!!
where have you been?!
i had to stay with aunt pachey,
and she was very mean to me...
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:43, archived)
# I've been to /talk for a lovely holiday
What did you do to make Auntie Pachey cross?
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:46, archived)
# called her auntie......
=)
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:47, archived)
# Haha
Oh dear
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:48, archived)
# rather....
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:48, archived)
# Fresh basil - tear or chop?
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:38, archived)
# cauliflower with cheese sauce
goes well with chops.

basil? pft, nutter
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:39, archived)
# it's onions
that make you cry
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:39, archived)
# [Edit: This I think, goes down there... ;?)
[congrats on t'b3ta day, sir...
..perhaps a question might be:
"Will any of the profits be brought back to update the b3ta servers?"]]
(DrZaarlon Witchspace To Ra!, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:42, archived)
# [thanks but it's not my b3taday]
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:43, archived)
# three whole leaves.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:44, archived)
# Either should be fine.
But it should only be added towards the end of cooking as it doesn't like heat.
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:58, archived)
# Is this the acceptable face of exploitation?
*Edit* Happy B3taday! You old cnut!

Are you on that BBC3 talking heads thing I taped on saturday?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:38, archived)
# i dunno
maybe - I've been on a couple of things and I have no idea when they repeat them
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:52, archived)
#







can i have your autograph?
=)
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:53, archived)
# Rob puts his mark upon us when we
SIGN UP.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:58, archived)
# is THAT what this heavy scarring around my carotid artery is?
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:00, archived)
# It's what used that passage into your brain
That you need to worry about.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:06, archived)
# How long can you both hold your breath underwater?
*turns on camera and drops pants*
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:38, archived)
# What do kittens dream about?
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:39, archived)
# in fact, what do sheep dream about?
hmmm...or for that matter do fences dream of being jumped over by sheep?
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:40, archived)
# Sheep dream of happier times when they had jumpers
and all this were all fields. Fences dream of being pissed on, of course.
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:43, archived)
# Do androids dream of electric sheep?

(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:43, archived)
# do adenoids bream of ecletic teeth?
what the hell is wrong with my brain today?
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:46, archived)
# whassa braaaain?
/monday
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:48, archived)
# If I bred a superkitten would you fight him?
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:40, archived)
# When is a cat?
happy b3taday
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:40, archived)
# ohhhhh, happy b3taday * happy b3taday
= b3taday² ?
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:49, archived)
# is there a limit to the ammount of kitten one can aquire before the interests of the government aroused
much like if you buy a fleet of non commercial aeroplanes as you may be trying to build your own provate army.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:41, archived)
# Why are kittens the ideal war candidates?
Happy b3taday etc.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:41, archived)
# they are dispensable
and jaggy
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:42, archived)
# What happens to the kittens when they get older and their looks start to go?
Does the work dry up? Are they forced into pussy prostitution (sorry, had to) to feed their Iams addiction?
And happy B3taday!
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:41, archived)
# Which member of the Family would this book best be suited to if bought as a last minute stocking filler for Christmas?
*guaranteed*
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:41, archived)
# Do you discriminate against ginger kittens?
And if not, why not?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:41, archived)
# What's with all the kittens?
I mean, come on.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:42, archived)
# kittens....
BAH!

kittens are the devils furry klegs!!

oh, and merry b3atday!!
does that means it's b3ta's b3taday too?
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:42, archived)
# *rolls eyes*
pay attention dafty
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:43, archived)
# i AM paying attention...ohhh
shiney.......
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:46, archived)
# Are kittens good for anything other than war?
Such as making the tea or finding your keys.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:42, archived)
# kittens? are you GAY or something?
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:43, archived)
# If you were console RPG characters....
...what special attacks would you have and what level would you gain them?

Example; Jesus
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:43, archived)
# How many kittens must die before your thirst for war will be quenched?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:44, archived)
# Why are kittens not allowed to study at top Universities?
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:44, archived)
# Have they ever done part of a poo before making it to the toilet thinking it is safely within the confines of the bum cheeks
just to find it all over the seat and smeared over their arse cheeks when they think they are finished and get up?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:44, archived)
# Rob's B3ta Day?!
timeforcake


I would like to ask them how much money they make from such kittenwar ventures. Does such enterprise pay the bills or is it just for pasttime.
(Pho3nixius, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:45, archived)
# Do you force the owners of the losingest kittens to have them put down?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:45, archived)
# Ah yes, this
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:47, archived)
# Can kittens bomb the twist?
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:45, archived)
# [congrats on t'b3ta day, sir...
..perhaps a question might be:
"Will any of the profits be brought back to update the b3ta servers?"]
(DrZaarlon Witchspace To Ra!, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:46, archived)
# Should I move to Wales?
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:46, archived)
# no, fuck that.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:49, archived)
# Good reasoning.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:07, archived)
# Do the winningest kittens get sacrificed to the sun god? If not, why not?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:46, archived)
# Do you ever experience kitten favouritism?
Have any kittens ever offered you bribes?
How can you morally justify this circus of death?
Do you feel there should be a ban imposed on size 0 kittens?
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:46, archived)
# Why can't we all just.... Get along?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:47, archived)
# because you have BO!!!
smelly...
*sprays*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:48, archived)
# Is this what you saw yourself doing
when planning your career?

Have you ever exploited your internet celebrity status?
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:47, archived)
# Do you remember that time Auntie Nora fell in the swimming pool?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:47, archived)
# Can you tell the difference between the Battle of Borodino and a tiger's bum?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:48, archived)
# if you had 30 apples in one hand, two apples in the other and a peach balanced precariously on your scalp, would you prefer to stroke a tiger or a lion?
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:49, archived)
# The answer to that is soooo fucking obvious
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:50, archived)
# How does it feel knowing that all of those kittens will die someday?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:49, archived)
# How does it feel knowing that half of those kittens are either dead or ugly by now?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:50, archived)
# haha ^ this
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:55, archived)
# why do kittens have to grow up?
why god!? why?
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:49, archived)
# what does sex with kittens feel like?

(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:49, archived)
# Kittenwar
Are they good with french fries?
Is there a good counsellor for post combat stress syndrome?
Do they have to do that squaddie thing with Spunk and Jacobs Cream Crackers before going into battle?
Will they accept a BDC as the regimental mascot?
Is it true that the enlistment numbers are dwindling due to god killing the prospective warriors every time I have a wank?
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:50, archived)
# Do you get updates on the kittens?
Do people send you photos of them as cats?

How stalky are your users?
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:51, archived)
# If kittens ruled the world
what job would they give you, and would you take it?
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:52, archived)
# What is the filthiest image you have decided to submit?
What is the filthiest image you have been sent but didn't submit?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:52, archived)
# Cream or Glaze?
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:53, archived)
# Would kittens help me get some nutter off my case?
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:54, archived)
# Why are people so unkind?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:54, archived)
# WHY IS METH SO HARD TO MAKE?
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:56, archived)
# AND WHY WON'T THE NAVY HELP ME?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:58, archived)
# BECAUSE THEY HAVE ALL THE BUTT PROSTITUTES!
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:01, archived)
# LEAVE TED TURNER OUT OF THIS
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:03, archived)
# The most important question: Marmite, love or loathe?
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:56, archived)
# love.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:57, archived)
# easy one!
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:58, archived)
# chemical waste
/'stroo that. it's the nasty bits taken out of beer to make it nice
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:59, archived)
# Marmite
I once had a Siamese Kitten who ate 1/2 a jar of Marmite and puked for a day! Not a pleasant sight. (Stunk a fair bit as well)
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:00, archived)
# siamese twin kittens?
/hopes
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:02, archived)
# me baby daughter's recently started shitting marmite.
Always wondered how they refilled the bottles.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:03, archived)
# hehe this.
tho little baby monstrinho is currently shitting korma sauce
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:09, archived)
# mictobaby is producing piccalilli
b3ta sauces range
serve it to people you hate
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:26, archived)
# Why would you spend so much time devoloping a site devoted to smelly arse licking animals?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 10:59, archived)
# they wash in their own spit
don't forget that.
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:04, archived)
# How did you manage to avoid all that "I can has cheeseburger" stuff?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:04, archived)
# Is it true
that your book is better than Shakespeare?
(I helped save b3ta! Fraser has joined the Moomins., Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:05, archived)
# but not as good as the Bumper B3ta Book of Sick Jokes?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:06, archived)
# .
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:10, archived)
# But even fluffier than Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down?
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:37, archived)
# Wasn't there something about some porn star who likes small cocks or something?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:06, archived)
# What tipped her off?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:12, archived)
# Wasn't there..
I'm a small cock who likes Porn Stars!
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:15, archived)
# how far up do you have to be before a kitten doesn't land on its feet?
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:11, archived)
# Horses, best of all animals?
or aliens? BEWARE!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:14, archived)
# Do you remember the days of the old school yard?
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:14, archived)
# What does the ultimate kitten look like?
...and can it be milked?
(I helped save b3ta! chart cat has an itch, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:19, archived)
# Yay - hope it gets to number 1
Which kittens are best - boys or girls?
White cats - why are they all evil? Black cats - why are they the best? Ginger cats - do we care about them at all?

(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:34, archived)
# Why am I always last to spot and reply to a thread?
science
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 11:59, archived)
# LOLcats
Do you approve?

Or can you has chzburger?
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 12:09, archived)
# Can i ask you a question please?
(A Hospital Carpark, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 12:25, archived)
# Lots of questions
If you were to remake a film using only cats (and) or kittens which one would you choose?
Do you think that cats have been misrepresented in Hollywood through the years?
If you were a breed of cat which cat would it be?
Have you ever heard a cat burp or fart out loud? If yes, what did it smell like.
In a fight between Tony the Tiger of Frosties fame and Scooby Doo, who would your money be on?
Do they make Tiger beer from Tigers?
Do cats like onions?
Have you ever run over a cat?
Which is funnier, bananas or cheese?


(Hoof Hearted, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 12:49, archived)
# Happy b3taday mein herr
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Droog is too orangey for crows, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 13:00, archived)
# Dear Fraser
why don't you stop spending your time on shitty web virals and come up with a decent image challenge?

:D
(I helped save b3ta! Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 13:06, archived)
# Daddy or Chips?
How much influence was "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu on the book?

Did you watch "The World at War", narrated by Sir Lawrence Olivier?

Are you fans of UK TV History in general?

Are there enough programmes about Nazis, the Second World War and War in General or do we need more?

Have Peter Snow and his son read the book and what do think?
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 13:07, archived)
# No no,
More needed, especially about nazis and their cats
(I helped save b3ta! mr_wicksy is.... old., Mon 17 Sep 2007, 14:59, archived)
# if i didn't hear from you
is there likely to be a picture of my cat in it?
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 13:34, archived)
# Can you OR Have you tried to juggle the kittens?
and if so, with what level of success?
(I helped save b3ta! Sheehan forevermore owes Ttssattsr beer, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 15:01, archived)
# Do the losing Kittens get turned into Mittens?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 16:10, archived)
# Did you really think this post was going to be productive?
30 plus replies and not one legitimate question. This is why I love b3ta :D

Also: Happy b3taday! Does this mean it's b3ta's b-day too?
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 16:18, archived)
# if you were in prison and had to bum a man what criteria would you go for?
(I helped save b3ta! SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 16:27, archived)
# On behalf of me, please ask,
Which is better, tea or coffee?
Justify your answer.
(I helped save b3ta! Logiconor ) (, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 16:41, archived)
# Are you ever sexually aroused by the kittens?
Y'know, maybe.

And...

Have you ever fixed the scores for a kitten belonging to someone you know, or is especially cute?
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Jack cracked the elite b3ta inner circle on, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 16:54, archived)
# Dr Phil
Where did Dr. Phil Kitten go?
(kiwanotree Meh, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 17:19, archived)
# What sort of response do you get from people when you tell them what your book's about?
And if you have girlfriends, what do they/their parents think?
(I helped save b3ta! Dave the Mighty, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 18:11, archived)
# meeeeeeeeoooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
as the Cramps once asked "Can Your Pussy Do The Dog?"

(Zuffle farts silently in lifts then leaves the warm aroma, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 18:28, archived)
# Any plans to franchise your operation
for fans of such animals as millepede's and ocelots?
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 18:29, archived)
# In an actual war, what kind of kittens would come out on top?
In my opinion it would be the sphynx cats, because they have the look of pure molevenlant evil, what about you?
(Absynth&Cheese Have you tasted my Jesus, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 19:44, archived)
# I have no idea what your website is
but who is best, Francis Rossi or Rick Parfitt?
(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 19:55, archived)
# What would you actually do....
If presented with a cluster of fluff's at the bottom of a garden, who, based on your book, had fashioned weapons and basic strategy plans to outsmart the oposition....formulating in a small but fully functional war....
(I helped save b3ta! MrGomez and David Bellamy's big pubey beard, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 21:58, archived)
#
Is it wrong to touch your kitten?
Just who is the daddy?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck etc?

And happy B3taday rob, may another years worth of wisdom tickle your ginger chin.
(I helped save b3ta! Paedosmile service with a grin., Mon 17 Sep 2007, 22:10, archived)
# Will you swap a tiger for my bear?
Or any other bears
(WouldSwapABearForATiger, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 22:12, archived)
# Will you be
reverting to your real names when you become international hyperstars like crabblo Joel Veech or weeb Jonty or will you settle for being common or garden b3ta frontpagers?
(I helped save b3ta! routine has perfected burgers, Mon 17 Sep 2007, 23:47, archived)
# What's going on? Where am I?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 3:05, archived)
# How on earth does the website translate into book form?
Is it just pictures of kittens? Or some kind of mystical hitherto unexplained interactive thing...
(I helped save b3ta! mr_wicksy is.... old., Tue 18 Sep 2007, 7:36, archived)
# um
if the answer is 42 little bundles of fwuffdeath, what is the ultimate question?

how many times did the catwoman mobile catch a flat?

will simon peggs next film be about zombie kittens?

will it be better than run fatboy run?

(magictorch, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:36, archived)
# did you ever have sex with a cat?
if so, what was it like?
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Johnson, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 14:45, archived)
# What's yellow and loves kids?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 18:36, archived)
# How do I...
well, you know when cats mate in february? They use to do that in front of my building (and I'm not enjoying watching it. Seriously.) so how do I stop them from making that long distorted meows?
(mumified, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 18:50, archived)
# Who would win in a fight between Bagpuss and Jess (Postman Pat's cat)?
(I helped save b3ta! CaroWallis, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 20:43, archived)