Blimeh!
TJ: I just got the Micheal Jackson chase piccy in my inbox.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:11,
archived)
Yes, I infiltrated the states
and am sending covert reports back to the Daily Mirror to highlight the lack of intelligence here.
The Daily Mirror will the call it a scoop and the world will gasp.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:25,
archived)
The Daily Mirror will the call it a scoop and the world will gasp.
this has probably been done
but came up in discussion at work today ...
could'nt get the text quite right.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:05,
archived)
could'nt get the text quite right.
I like their lunchboxes!
My mum would never buy me a themed lunch box. I still resent that.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:06,
archived)
Such things turn normal people in cyclepaths
not mutilating any kittens are you?
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:07,
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Every day is a struggle
made worse by the time my dad got us skeletor halloween masks, and she made him take them back to the shop. I expect he actually binned them.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:08,
archived)
Well at least you're amongst the company of fellow kitten manglers
probably all of them have been warped by the lack of a themed lunchbox or a withdrawn skeletor mask.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:10,
archived)
thank you
in case you wonder why i wondered:
www.artymove.com
/quality spam
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:27,
archived)
www.artymove.com
/quality spam
Hmmm.... not a crazy picture, but a crazy fact.
I have just found a link to my website on the links page of an Essex brothel. Apparently they think it's "the best website ever!". Now, that is praise.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:04,
archived)
Yes...
www.gigglesgirls.com/ go to links, then humour... and there I am.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:11,
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who knew it was such a hazardous job?
"We're happy (to) welcome back Helen who has now recovered from her back injury..."
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:15,
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Yes,
she also likes the site. But she's not an Essex working girl.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:19,
archived)
I just Googled
the best website ever "www.themanwhofellasleep.com/"
Had no joy with Essex :(
You seem a popular chap
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:21,
archived)
Had no joy with Essex :(
You seem a popular chap
She's the woman from the HEAT magazine
adverts. She stumbled on my website and liked it.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:26,
archived)
they probably picked it up
from my blog
balls-de-jour.blogspot.com/
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:17,
archived)
balls-de-jour.blogspot.com/
A few seconds late by my reconing
but woo, yay, houpla, panowie and huzzah to you sir!
/edit - 7099, damn missed another milestone!
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:01,
archived)
/edit - 7099, damn missed another milestone!
i was refreshing my profile to keep tabs on the time
and it clicked over to 10k at the one year point, regardless of me not having started a new message...
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:03,
archived)
a member for 364 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 58 seconds
has posted 10000 messages
of which 4 have appeared on the front page.
no synchronisation here!
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:05,
archived)
has posted 10000 messages
of which 4 have appeared on the front page.
no synchronisation here!
i'm back on dialup again tonight
so timings of a couple of seconds are impossible.
pedantic bastard.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:06,
archived)
pedantic bastard.
:P
sorry i just happened to click your profile at an oppertune moment
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:08,
archived)
well done
have my 20,495th as a woo and yay for your excellent sense of timing
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:01,
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Exactly one year and 10,000 posts?
That's great - well done that chap have a cookie.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:02,
archived)
i'm just saying how much it's increased over the last couple of weeks
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:07,
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sorry for being a complete _cunt
I just happened to visit your profile, noticed this, and pressed Alt + Prnt Scrn
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:09,
archived)
well
done. seems like i've been here for decades...
[edit] christ
a member for 1 year, 245 days, 6 hours, 29 minutes and 18 seconds
has posted 13249 messages
of which 6 have appeared on the front page.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 23:12,
archived)
[edit] christ
a member for 1 year, 245 days, 6 hours, 29 minutes and 18 seconds
has posted 13249 messages
of which 6 have appeared on the front page.
The kids of Gotham will never be safe!
quick and dirty, sorry!
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:55,
archived)
quick and dirty, sorry!
the mugshot is actually worse...
... and i'm looking at this now, thinking "My god, it's David Bowie"
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:57,
archived)
>quick and dirty, sorry!
Well, no need to colour match!
hehe nice pic
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:57,
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hehe nice pic
any takers
on who the topic of the new challenge might be tomorrow?
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:59,
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ewwwwwwww
that's a mucky mucky arse
edit: what's it got to do with the internet though?
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:54,
archived)
edit: what's it got to do with the internet though?
You hit
the nail spot on there. Someone needs to learn to wipe. :)
EDIT: That's not mine, I have two bouquets on my arse. And I got them both at the same time.
heh
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:55,
archived)
EDIT: That's not mine, I have two bouquets on my arse. And I got them both at the same time.
heh
I think you need to delve deeper into the internet's darker recesses
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:56,
archived)
well yes i know the internet has the odd arse on it... but so do a lot of things
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:57,
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surely
someone would have taken pics of all these machines and posted them as "warez" on his site.
It's late :-)
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:56,
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It's late :-)
hehehe
Lora was looking for a dane earlier, she's after a CD or something...
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:52,
archived)
girlie from Aqua?
not sure exactly... I could have my bulb screwed in sideways
if you play on 4rthur, there may be an offline waiting for you... if not, you could send her one perhaps?
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:54,
archived)
if you play on 4rthur, there may be an offline waiting for you... if not, you could send her one perhaps?
have this
edit: after head scratch - Lion King, hmm.. Im well shite
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:49,
archived)
edit: after head scratch - Lion King, hmm.. Im well shite
just noticed you've put the tennis
in your profile
angry commentary indeed
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:42,
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angry commentary indeed
fantastic commentary though.
you should consider a career in violent critical reviews.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:43,
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This film was fucking monkeytestes-bollocks.
Only see it if you're a paraplegic and somebody left you in the cinema and can't get out.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:45,
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ok, ok,
i'm here as usual.
But I could be in Russia if I really, really wanted.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:53,
archived)
But I could be in Russia if I really, really wanted.
Smooth Criminals
So, no pictures, but an interesting question.
If Michael Jackson, Gary (up the ) Glitter and Johnathan King decided to collaborate and do an album of songs, what would the track listing include?
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:31,
archived)
If Michael Jackson, Gary (up the ) Glitter and Johnathan King decided to collaborate and do an album of songs, what would the track listing include?
that fooled so many people last night
congratusmorgalifications.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:41,
archived)
gosh
just looked at your profile, in 4 minutes you'll be 1 year old, many happy returns
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:58,
archived)
indeed
as i believe they say in the colonies "wake up and smell the absence of aroma"
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:52,
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The men with a child in their eyes - revamp of Kate Bush's song perhaps?
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:32,
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I don't know
but pavarotti, domingo and carreras are doing an album with elton john
it's called 'three tenors and a nine bob note'
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:33,
archived)
it's called 'three tenors and a nine bob note'
It's unlikely that they'd collaborate.
They'd probably want to distance themselves from their criminal activities, rather than forming a paedophile supergroup.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:33,
archived)
There were ten
in the bed and the peado said..roll over roll over...
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:34,
archived)
paedo rock
I think a group collaboration of The Who's "The Kids are alright" would be in order
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:34,
archived)
Je me rends compte que j'ai fait une erreur avec le genre. Je suis désolé.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:38,
archived)
"Everyone's Gone to the Moonwalk"?
(Jackson & King (& his Piglets))
http://users.cis.net/sammy/gonemoon.htm
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:34,
archived)
http://users.cis.net/sammy/gonemoon.htm
Tis true
Me am a repost whore.
Only cos i ain't made nowt in weeks...
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:44,
archived)
Only cos i ain't made nowt in weeks...
me neither
I've been trawling picture sights for a bit now, and just not seeing anything that looks like it needs 'shopping!
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:48,
archived)
only because th etopis is interesting:
1) Beat it (reprise)
2) Thank heaven for little boys
3) Doing alright with the boys
4) Remember me this way (in jail)
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:38,
archived)
2) Thank heaven for little boys
3) Doing alright with the boys
4) Remember me this way (in jail)
how about a remake of an old Shangri-Las classic...
"I met him at the candy store
He turned around and smiled at me
You get the picture? (yes, we see)
That's when I fell for (the leader of the Gang)
Come on, come on,
Come on, come on,
Come on, come on come on..."
real lyrics... I've been saving this as hummus, but I can't be arsed anymore
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:41,
archived)
He turned around and smiled at me
You get the picture? (yes, we see)
That's when I fell for (the leader of the Gang)
Come on, come on,
Come on, come on,
Come on, come on come on..."
real lyrics... I've been saving this as hummus, but I can't be arsed anymore
I still get ideas now and then
I just can't be bothered to load potatoshop
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:47,
archived)
First post with some tracks
How about:
Too busy thinking about my baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Strange relationship
Somethin's going on
Sorry, been going through my cd collection none of those are from those guys but if you want MJ ones try: Just good friends (honest guv), I just can't stop loving you, don't stop til you get enough or possibly beat it
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:56,
archived)
Too busy thinking about my baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Strange relationship
Somethin's going on
Sorry, been going through my cd collection none of those are from those guys but if you want MJ ones try: Just good friends (honest guv), I just can't stop loving you, don't stop til you get enough or possibly beat it
It's looking in your direction - well it's looking in every direction
but your inparticular.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:36,
archived)
fantastic.
my spleen is past its best anyway - it needs "chewing out".
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:37,
archived)
no, I don't
and yes, I should try it (or a comic or cartoon, or somethin similar) once.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:33,
archived)
I demand
a feature-length cartoon.
Well, not really demand, but we can hope....
Ace as usual
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:30,
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Well, not really demand, but we can hope....
Ace as usual
that's fantastic
and some delicately flavoured punnage too... Woo yay!
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:31,
archived)
Poor Gerard
no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't get the stool at the right height...
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:25,
archived)
erm...
that's very woo, but it's been done so very similarly before!
great mindpisses, eh? :D
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:27,
archived)
great mindpisses, eh? :D
it's mind piss
that I thought the same thing.
Are you sure it wasn't him/her that did it?
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:28,
archived)
Are you sure it wasn't him/her that did it?
HA!
I knew it.
It is wonderful though, you could pea-roast that eery day if you wanted to. It's grand!
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:33,
archived)
It is wonderful though, you could pea-roast that eery day if you wanted to. It's grand!
tsk
still, it shows I still retain my fnordish powers of recall!
it's still as funny as it was then
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:33,
archived)
it's still as funny as it was then
at least he's got an excuse
I suppose I can't do it because I'm a berk.
Terrifically woosome picture
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:31,
archived)
Terrifically woosome picture
Ha ha!
Astonishing source pic of something that is supposed to have actually happened. Now THAT'S art.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:26,
archived)
just coz it's on the bible doesn't mean it's real
..then again, holofernes got a duff deal with judith, so it's perfectly possible
( ,
Fri 21 Nov 2003, 11:23,
archived)
..then again, holofernes got a duff deal with judith, so it's perfectly possible
violent art done by a woman as well.
btw, why are you not going to the theatre?
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:31,
archived)
Christ on a bike
My Mrs goes like that too if she misses Emmerdale.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:53,
archived)
Thank you all.
Your comments are much appreciated.
I should add that the picture in no way represents my own home life - my wife and daughter don't let me near the TV in the first place.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:59,
archived)
I should add that the picture in no way represents my own home life - my wife and daughter don't let me near the TV in the first place.
Poor skippy indeed
only one turned out for the protest :(
At least he's not burning a flag.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:27,
archived)
At least he's not burning a flag.
makes more sense than the current protests
flame away i'm off to get some tea
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:28,
archived)
too busy trying to avoid falling into the black hole of doomy doom doom.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:14,
archived)
never let it be said
that I'm not everything you expect me to be
and then more
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:18,
archived)
and then more
kleenex + charlie dimmock -- phone on hook == extra stickiness + fun^2
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:26,
archived)
whatever that is?
you're not from that well known country, Abroad, are you? Or are you too young or healthy to know about classic British sweets?
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:22,
archived)
yes
but obviously not healthy. With particular reference to the 3 pints of Guinness thing
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:29,
archived)
well, they're these tubes of sherbert
with a liquorice stick thing to lick and dip into the sherbert. They (were) are very popular in Britain when I was a wee lad, which proves what a sad bunch we are, I suppose
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:28,
archived)
i will trust you on that
:) i gotta go to britain and get some
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:32,
archived)
I have one of them
and a double-dipper... with a third dip free!
I bought the first from FAB on saturday, and Lora bought me the second on sunday from randomsweetshop, manchester
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:25,
archived)
I bought the first from FAB on saturday, and Lora bought me the second on sunday from randomsweetshop, manchester
I got 1
and it said I'm Lora's boy.
I've yet to hold her to that.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:34,
archived)
I've yet to hold her to that.
you'll have to take that up with her, then
as well as the lack of other sweetly goodness - I got a double-dipper 'cause I gave her one of my dib-dabs in FAB
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:36,
archived)
well...
i gave her nothing except abuse for crushing my cigs :/
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:41,
archived)
verbal's camera
has a demoniser™ setting that we can't turn off
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:19,
archived)
furtive............................NO
damn bear will twoc anything
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:11,
archived)
damn bear will twoc anything
ooh...
I wonder if I can be arsed to find the source for that...
I keep meaning to make a special "short limo", and bush would be the obvious candidate for riding in it :D
woo!
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:13,
archived)
I keep meaning to make a special "short limo", and bush would be the obvious candidate for riding in it :D
woo!
the source has numbers all over it
you'll have to shop them out.......
its jameswagner.com/mt_archives/003759.html
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:15,
archived)
its jameswagner.com/mt_archives/003759.html
hehe
ah well...
edit: cool link, thanks... I've now worked out that in order to kill him, all we need do is cover the car in some form of toxin and keep him trapped inside until he needs to eat/drink/pee/refuel - about 2 hours
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:16,
archived)
edit: cool link, thanks... I've now worked out that in order to kill him, all we need do is cover the car in some form of toxin and keep him trapped inside until he needs to eat/drink/pee/refuel - about 2 hours
we could
but I don't think your back would cope with lifting it
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:25,
archived)
nice!
actually, that would be good - Bush gets inside bullet proof, explosion proof car with reinforced windows and explosion proof underside, and there's a polar bear in it.
Woo yay (and a houpla for good ol' Furtive)
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:15,
archived)
Woo yay (and a houpla for good ol' Furtive)
As improbable as it sounds, I was bitten by a goose today.
So I did this. They have teeth and a nasty beak.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:11,
archived)
So I did this. They have teeth and a nasty beak.
i've been bitten*
by a goose before! right in the nads aswel
*pecked
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:12,
archived)
*pecked
I was bitten by a pony once
I had an injection in my arse.
(by a syringe)
I was 6
It wasn't nice.
That, however, is super
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:13,
archived)
(by a syringe)
I was 6
It wasn't nice.
That, however, is super
Was it a Canada Goose
as per picture? One of those FUCKERS bit me once, and you're bang on the money. How the hell does anything with no teeth cause so much pain and bleeding?
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:13,
archived)
Yeah Canada Goose.
They've pretty much taken over Hampstead Heath.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:15,
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I was bitten by one
at a park in South London. It's been the geese or me, ever since. Bastards.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:16,
archived)
Have you ever met anyone who has had their arm broken
by an aquatic bird?
Without checking snopes, I'm guessing it's an urban myth
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:20,
archived)
Without checking snopes, I'm guessing it's an urban myth
I think it's more of a theoretical physics thing
but I'll tell you one thing, Canada Geese bite.
the bastards
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:24,
archived)
the bastards
I went out with a girl once who could...
...break a swan's wing with her leg. It didn't last long.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:24,
archived)
canada geese
are clearly the work of satan. bloody evil things.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:19,
archived)
absolutely
I think the source pic of The Fear should have a canada goose head in the middle. But then, I'm slightly biased, I suppose
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:20,
archived)
This one had teeth
Like 100's of little needles they where.
\big girls blouse
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:18,
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\big girls blouse
Is that Senate House, Malet Street?
Strange place to find a goose.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:13,
archived)
I'm fairly sure it is, having just Googled for it.
It's the central offices and library for the University of London, just up the road from the British Museum.
Enormous, forbidding, Stalinist-style building.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:28,
archived)
Enormous, forbidding, Stalinist-style building.
Just went back and checked
You know what, you're right.
www.urban75.org/photos/london/lon324.html
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:32,
archived)
www.urban75.org/photos/london/lon324.html
I was bitten by a donkey once.
So I punched it back, right up the bracket. The man wouldn't let me back on it after that.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:15,
archived)
The fucker wanted another two quid.
I walked off up the beach and trod in some dog shit instead.
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:23,
archived)
hahahaha
stop, please... you're wasting this material here, you should put it in a film about every British childhood or holiday in history, ever
( ,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 22:26,
archived)
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