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#

Click for bigger and 300+ more doofers.

My latest project: Free short story audio books.

A Kiss on the Palm (Approx 6 minutes - this is the best one, I think)
www.matazone.co.uk/shop/product_info.php?cPath=27&products_id=81

Salvatore’s Birthday (Approx 5 minutes)
www.matazone.co.uk/shop/product_info.php?cPath=27&products_id=83
(I helped save b3ta! Matazone has new icons, but is keeping this one, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:34, archived)
# Ha ha ha!
Cheeky little fucker he is!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:35, archived)
# This is uhhhhhhhhhhh... you're captian speaking uhhhhhhhh....
giggidy.
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:37, archived)
# I am not captian speaking uhhhhhhhh...
Thank you very much.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:38, archived)
# I flew to HK recently, and the pilot said nothing at all.
It was a bit disconcerting to suddenly land, with hardly any warning, even if it was quite smooth.

It was great. AND NO ONE FUCKING CLAPPED. STOP CLAPPING, MORANS!
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:41, archived)
# WELL DONE! You did your job and it resulted in us not dying in a firey ball of death pain! WOOT!
*claps lots*
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:42, archived)
# I like to clap a Pilot's landing.
I haven't done so for years though.
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:44, archived)
# Maybe you should change your name to MONGdagola then!
LOL! See what I did there?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:45, archived)
# People usually clap on the planes you are on?
What airline do you fly?

I'd be terrified if people started clapping the pilot - that's like clapping a barman for pouring a decent pint, yes, it's a good talent, but if he can't do it then he shouldn't be doing the job in the first place.
(I helped save b3ta! Matazone has new icons, but is keeping this one, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:44, archived)
# ^This. Very much.
I've only ever been on one flight where everyone clapped at the end - and I joined in wholeheartedly. The pilot had to make two - TWO! - aborted landings because of high winds.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:49, archived)
#
=^
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:38, archived)
[challenge entry]


Click for bigger (223 kb)
(I helped save b3ta! doog Don't read this., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:16, archived)
# *finally sees it*
Arf!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:18, archived)
# I demand more halos!
Those animals have no halos. They need them bad.
(I helped save b3ta! Curis, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:19, archived)
# nice one
Jesus+ AD
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:20, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:26, archived)
# how hilariously random
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:27, archived)
# I like this
because it is good.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:43, archived)
# MOVIES NOW!
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:33, archived)
# Why are there two babies?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:35, archived)
# why am i seeing that baby at the bottom as a prawn with a mohican?
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:28, archived)
# It's a vunderful life...
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:13, archived)
# Oh George!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:15, archived)
# haha, *click*
Although he was better in "The Rear Window"
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:21, archived)
# He was good in Panic Room
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:27, archived)
# Magic as the Lion also?

(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:32, archived)
# Thank you sir!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:28, archived)
# Arf!
also: one of the top ten best ever filums.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:22, archived)
# I should really get you to name the 9 others,
to invoke helpful, insightful, calm and rational debate on the internet on the best films ever..

Oh, hang on... This is the internet ;)
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:26, archived)
# Aren't they
Police Academy 2-8
Porkys Revenge
Reefer Madness
and
Transformers 2?
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:28, archived)
# wot no Piranha II: The Spawning?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:30, archived)
# sadly not
though I'd still rather watch that than Avatar
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:34, archived)
# The trailers and hype have left me feeling underwhelmed to say the least
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:35, archived)
# Someone posted the link to Rotten Tomatoes earlier
100% rating

I fear most critics are going to gush enthusiastically for fear of getting it wrong, and then in six months time all quietly change their minds.

Every single capsule quote mentioned the effects and the 3D. But none of them mentioned the story
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:42, archived)
# wasn't that rating based on just 11 reviews though?
or something like that? not a big fan of the rotten tomato site, must admit
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:48, archived)
# :D *lights fuse*
Lawrence of Arabia, The Third Man, The Spy Who Came In From The Cold, Aliens, The Lives Of Others, Koyaaniqatsi, The Parallax View, Network and The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.*

this week's faves, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:31, archived)
# I've never seen the Parralax View
and it's never on bloody telly

The others are all excellent
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:33, archived)
# Great filum.
Worth a purchase, imho.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:34, archived)
# *sees lit fuse - starts mission impossible music*
/you also appear to have added an 's' too many on Alien ;)
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:34, archived)
# Hehehehe...
Ah, well - I love the first one, but the 'more is more'-ness of the second one sometimes surplants it (like, for instance, this week it does)

(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:36, archived)
# I can never decide between the first three (yes, three)
depends on my mood
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:43, archived)
# as long as it's the director's cut for three, you're right
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:49, archived)
# Hai Grunty!!
Merry Christmas sir!! How's you? :D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:27, archived)
# Hey Ninj!
Merry Winterval to you, too sir!

All good, ta. Yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:33, archived)
# All the better for hearing from you!
Ta! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:37, archived)
# Awww, bless you!
*manhugs*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:40, archived)
# One of my favourites
The Samaritans should use it, this time of year?
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:29, archived)
# most serpently.
:)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:33, archived)
# Yay! Grunts!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:29, archived)
# Young Joseph!
You well, sir?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:32, archived)
# Super duper fella...
just need to get through the afternoon and the weekend can begin!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:35, archived)
# Yes! No. Maybe. I don't know.

Could you repeat the question?
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:22, archived)
# In the pub last week
we decided this film would've been so much better with peter Lorre than Jimmy Stewart.

And then decided EVERY film should be re-cast with peter Lorre.
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:26, archived)
# Ooh yes!

(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:28, archived)
# see that's much better
and also much better than four pissed blokes doing poor impressions of the great man whilst their respective other halves look on in bewildered loathing and disgust

(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:32, archived)
# Bloody Brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:39, archived)
# Careful... There's an image challenge in that
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:31, archived)
# I did consider it
but thought it a little 'niche'

and movieposterlolz!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:44, archived)
#
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/53677/1260537043/xmasbird.jpg

modedit: keep it clean
(doogle i've got maddy, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:11, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/9830957
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:12, archived)
# Welcome to adblock.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:14, archived)
# Cock
(AMadDayYes, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:14, archived)
# That's a bit NSFW, though of course...
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:15, archived)
# You stupid little boy.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:15, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:16, archived)
# yay!
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:33, archived)
# also...
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:12, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:19, archived)
# FUCK OFF YOU CUNT
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:20, archived)
# I despair about some of you guys sometimes

I really do

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:23, archived)
# why is she sucking a mouse?
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:24, archived)
# No. Pipedog disapproves.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:25, archived)
# Haha, what a lovely chappie

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:27, archived)
# oh I say
that's ace

your clapping one from Orson Welles film would work too...
(I helped save b3ta! boff FL OZ, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:35, archived)
# knob
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:39, archived)
# Yay! Catchphrase is back :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:41, archived)
# ...

(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:43, archived)
# merry winter festival lol

(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:03, archived)
# No.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:06, archived)
# No.
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:08, archived)
# No no, no no.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:08, archived)
# No.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:09, archived)
# no no, no no
no no
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:10, archived)
# no, no
there's no limit
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:11, archived)
# <strike>limit</strike>lyric
edit: Oh I give up, can I start today again please?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:13, archived)
# Hehehehe...
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:07, archived)
# ahaha :D
I like th-NO.
*click*
(I helped save b3ta! xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:09, archived)
# I didn't understand it.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:10, archived)
# No
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:10, archived)
# No, I did?
What's this "no" business? You mean, "No, don't stop", right?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:12, archived)
# PR time :P

(I helped save b3ta! w00tAlohrs Où peux-je cacher ces noix de coco?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:17, archived)
# There's no limits

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:24, archived)
# Yes?
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 14:14, archived)
[challenge entry] "I get half of all the presents this year, you little shits!"
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:54, archived)
# He's licked all the Quality Streets
and put them back in the tin, too.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:55, archived)
# haha, the bastard
Dark Ham for Crimbo?
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:57, archived)
# The man at the shop said
I wasn't properly licensed to handle one. :(
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:12, archived)
# Sorry
That was me.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:59, archived)
# haha this is quite good
despite his rat mouth
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:57, archived)
# Nicely ;)
In other news: I am really looking forward to watching the FG special :Something,Something,Something Dark Side. (Blue Harvest Pt2?)
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:58, archived)
# but only presents with a value of over £25000?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:58, archived)
# Is there any other kind??
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:02, archived)
# You're officially buying my xmas present this year
make it a good'un
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:03, archived)
# 50000 mars bars
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:04, archived)
# Fuck
YES!!!!

When can I expect them?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:05, archived)
# Top Shop sir!!
*Clickety click* :D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:07, archived)
# Cheers
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:17, archived)
# This is a lot like the front page cartoon on yesterday's Times.
Except better. And with none of that annotation nonsense that they always use to labour the joke.
(I helped save b3ta! Curis, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:15, archived)
# Dark Hams 18

Previous episodes (now in high resolution.)
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:53, archived)
# Agh!
Its the hamburglar!

Nice windows on the VUDDAcopters
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:54, archived)
# If anyone can guess who he is before I post the next part
I'll do a picture for them as a prize.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:57, archived)
# Is it sheriff John Bunnell?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:58, archived)
# Hamfinder general?
Ham scene investigation?
Porkliceman?
Dark overlord of the hamniverse?
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:00, archived)
# I think Tribs got there first
with Hamfinder General. I like Porkliceman though.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:04, archived)
# bollocks!
I was too busy trying to think of the 'filler' ones after immediately thinking of 'hamfinder general'

:-(
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:06, archived)
# Is he from the Dark Ham Asylum?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:00, archived)
# I like this joke
A play on "Arkham Asylum". Very good. *awards medal*
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:17, archived)
# Is it Pikachu?
(I helped save b3ta! xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:01, archived)
# Darth Mountie?
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:03, archived)
# Eeeek
The Hamfinder General!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:55, archived)
# mindpiss
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:00, archived)
# We have a winner
That was quick, what do you want a picture of, then?
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:04, archived)
# Woo hoo!
How about Rick Wakeman and Alan Rickman saving the world from only-slightly-occultish expired dairy products? Or Grant Stott armwrestling an axolotl? Or something involving Barry Scott vs. The Cottingley Fairies.
Please.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:15, archived)
# He wants a picture of the new first minister of wales
caught inflagrante with now fewer than 74 bisexual wildebeeste
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:20, archived)
# I do now that you suggested it
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:21, archived)
# What did they do?
Use the Church Hall at night without permission for Tuba practice?
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:59, archived)
# Is he the Dark Hamster? Otherwise known as Satham?
Love all your characters! Specially the mouths!
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:01, archived)
# Satham! I like
Reminds me of the very excellent alan statham from green wing
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:07, archived)
# I was just thinking of Mark Heap when pondering what to request as my prize
The collective consciousness starts not with the Borg but with b3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:22, archived)
# Oh No!
It's The Ham Master General

This series is superb

Edit: Ha ha, so late to the party
(I helped save b3ta! fuscous, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:09, archived)
# This is one of the most epicest thingies ever done on here.

:D
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:29, archived)
[challenge entry] Q & D before I nip to the Xmas market for a sneaky lunchtime gluhwein...


Je ne regrette rien...

Edit Retrospective credit for the gag to Griffy. Hadn't seen it but it's a fair cop :)
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:34, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/9830748
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:35, archived)
# Hahaha I probably knocked that together in about the same time it took Griffy to type it :D
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:39, archived)
# LOLS Genius.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:41, archived)
# haha
I actually have a bottle of that in my office. It was a present from a guest about 2-3 years ago and I've never opened it.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:36, archived)
# they sell it in Lidl - about 27p a gallon
never tried it though

Is it made from horses hooves and cowhorns?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:37, archived)
# It's a mulling wine I think.
I just can never bring myself to drink the premade stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:43, archived)
# A bottle of chess? How rare!
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:39, archived)
# Ideal for the move of "En Pissant"
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:41, archived)
# Aaargh!
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:44, archived)
# Keeps you warm on those long winter Knights
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:48, archived)
# I prefer to keep warm by bashing the Bishop.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:49, archived)
# Don't you have a Mate?
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:52, archived)
# Just my old Queen.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:00, archived)
# while watching pawnography
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:54, archived)
# Chessstrategylols
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:46, archived)
# Well it was a bottle of chessboard. Except it had all seperated.
Hang on. My mistake. It was a bottle of guinness.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:49, archived)
# Chessboards have quite a chequered history
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:53, archived)
# they also have a very black-and-white view of everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:55, archived)
# Paul McCartney plays chess
Chessboards inspired the song "When I'm 64 (squares)".
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:57, archived)
# Also the lesser known song
"If you take my queen I'll punch you in the cunt"

(it was a b-side)
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:03, archived)
# I hear, 'Get Out of my Life you rancid Gold digging Pegleg'
Was inspired by Heather Mills.

It's like the old joke going around when Linda died.
Paul sits his kids down and say, 'Kids. I've got some good news and some bad news.'
'Father. You can tell us anything. What is it?' they say together.
'Well the bad news is my wife; you're loving mother had sadly passed away.'
'Oh my god! What is the good news?'
'Steak for dinner!'
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:06, archived)
# You may be thinking of checkers:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:56, archived)
# Gaaargh!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:36, archived)
# haha
you big silly
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:37, archived)
# Hadn't seen your post, honest! I didn't scroll down far enough.
www.b3ta.com/board/9830882
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:39, archived)
# o_O
a quick google, copy and paste!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:48, archived)
# Aha!
I think I might have done this gag before but it got eaten by b3tards.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:51, archived)
# errrr...
*hands over royalties*
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:03, archived)
#
You just Googled "chess strategies" didn't you?
(Good Penny, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:41, archived)
# No.
It was Wikipedia
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:42, archived)
# would that be the beeerminam christmans market by any chance?
I make my own gluhwein. Out of glue and wine.
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:45, archived)
# Manchester
...and I did a pic of that exact same gluevine a while back but it's vanished into b3tards ether.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:46, archived)
# Talk about pAwned
pfft
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:53, archived)
[challenge entry] SUBMIT PUNY HUMANS
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:18, archived)
# w/y/h!
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:18, archived)
# *sends in Godzilla*
*sells film rights*
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:20, archived)
# I for one welcome our jovial bearded overlords.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:20, archived)
# haha
Mecha Santa or Mecca Santa?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:21, archived)
# I for one welcome our mechanical imaginary character overlord
can I have my presents now please?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:24, archived)
# If you asked for pain, suffering and eternal despair
then they are on their way.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:25, archived)
# Oh hey I got you this.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:34, archived)
# Never send a puppy via Royal Mail
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:37, archived)
# It's covered in water!
WHAT THE FUCK!?
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:42, archived)
# LOLOLOLOLOLOOOLOLOLO
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:26, archived)
# fuck
I've just realised that computers (and moisture vaporators on Tatooine) have been laughing at us all along in their funny little language
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:29, archived)
# crush...destroy!!
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:29, archived)
# CTRL ALT KILL
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:31, archived)
#
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iMfpTexQOc&feature=PlayList&p=35B59F2CD2D4494A&index=25
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:43, archived)
# *spasms*
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:50, archived)
# Send in ROBO-KING to finish the job
ROBO-RAINBOW!
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:34, archived)
# prob bindun so i'll pop here, tuck in
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:39, archived)
# This kind of reminds me of Robo Hawking
Is he a bad mutha fucka too?
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:48, archived)
[challenge entry] This holiday season, discover your inner Alf...
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:10, archived)
# heh :)

love the film elf
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:11, archived)
# Will Ferrell does win most things...
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:13, archived)
# I can't stand him
but I agree Elf was marvellous
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:13, archived)
# D:
How can you not stand him?

Have you not seen his SNL work?

Eg: www.youtube.com/watch?v=haAhdtDmsOw
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:16, archived)
# Harry Caray FTMFW :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:17, archived)
# no...
I thought Anchorman was Ok, but that was because of the ensemble rather than just because of him.

I'm not keen on people who think shouting and funny voices is enough to be funny
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:18, archived)
# Like Jim Carrey, Steve Martin...
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:39, archived)
# he was great as G.W Bush in his stand up show
You're Welcome America
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:19, archived)
# I really liked that.
I liked the bit where he went all serious.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:20, archived)
# a special unit of trained monkeys!?!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFO9A2ZfkNY
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:28, archived)
# the jumping on the tree scene cracks me up everytime
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:16, archived)
# Have you seen the TV Series he produced with Adam McKay?
It's called Eastbound and Down and Will Ferrell has a cameo in a few episodes. It is fucking win :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:15, archived)
# Can't say that I have...
One for the list for after I have finally bought my bloody house and then cajoled Mrs H into permitting Sky Plus and other digital toys.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:18, archived)
# I saw the ads for it
but didn't fancy it
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:18, archived)
# I'M KENNY FUCKING POWERS!
NSFW due to language and possibly the tits scenes
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:20, archived)
# Phwoar.... tits :D
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:20, archived)
# I shall be checking this out after seeing that
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:24, archived)
# I think he's great
but Hollywood's not so sure

www.virginmedia.com/movies/movieextras/top10s/worst-value-actors.php?ssid=2
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:22, archived)
# Oh, and the Bear Grylls and Will Ferrell was most amusing
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:23, archived)
# hahahaha
You certainly say he's out of shape in that photo
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:13, archived)
# yay!
Good old Alf. He looks right cheery there.
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:13, archived)
# I think you need to be of a certain age
to appreciate this - excellent work *click*
(I helped save b3ta! fastcar, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:15, archived)
# I AM that certain age...
...:)
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:29, archived)
# Arf!
Also, on the subject of Alfs, The clothes I'm wearing, ALF GARNETT!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:17, archived)
# HAHAHA
Excellent as always! I can't help but picture 3 ducks behind him!
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:50, archived)
[challenge entry] Oh for a better animation package..
(I helped save b3ta! w00tAlohrs Où peux-je cacher ces noix de coco?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:00, archived)
# hahaha
I think he leaves lives next door to the 'toast!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:01, archived)
# Happy Holidays
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:03, archived)
#
dude, thats well sweet! wish I had your animatiun packege
(goldfish23, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:05, archived)
[challenge entry] May I roast this here please?

(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:09, archived)
# Shoulda left him a proper drink
to reduce the chances of rape

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:28, archived)
# mmmmm
cool and crisp
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:42, archived)
# Happy non-denominational winter festival!
Though I do not wish to imply that glumness is not a perfectly valid lifestyle choice.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:10, archived)
# Heh
Read that as "...guinness is not..."
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:18, archived)
# ...and I do not wish to offend
Guinness drinkers, Irish people, black people, green people, fat people, or stinking drunken cunts.



oops
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:21, archived)
[challenge entry] It's the return of Bing Crosby's Giant Head....


The truth being that Bing Crosby actually has a giant head!

Previously, on Bing Crosby's Giant Head....

HA! HA! HA! CHRISTMAS!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:29, archived)
# I love that song.
We had a "Guilty Pleasures" section in Music Club the other day, and that was mine, and although everyone scoffed and roared derisively, I know they loved it really.

How can you go wrong with the line "I'm not the same as all the rest!" sung so passionately?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:31, archived)
# Pfft!
You loser :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:34, archived)
# Hahahaha
Correct answer - 1 point.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:42, archived)
# OH MY GOD!
A GREY HERON JUST TOTALLY LANDED RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW! HA! HA! HA! BIRDS!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:56, archived)
# How amazing!
I love herons in their huge powdery feathery greyness.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:59, archived)
# It totally frightened the shit out of me.
Birds aren't meant to be that big!

HA! HA! HA! LEVIATHAN BIRD!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:04, archived)
# Herons woo!
Photobucket
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:15, archived)
#
Photobucket
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:16, archived)
# Herons herons herons!
Photobucket
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:18, archived)
# Herro again


Click for bigger (136 kb)

(I helped save b3ta! doog Don't read this., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:37, archived)
# *clicks again*
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:45, archived)
# HA! HA! HA! FLYING! HA! HA!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:01, archived)
# Many times have I sung The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas To You)
yet not once have I noticed that line in any of its verses. Evidently I have been singing off the wrong sheet.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:35, archived)
# I am the one and only you silly!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:37, archived)
# Hee hee hee!
I knew that really! *giggles*
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:38, archived)
# Whigfield
and that Hear'Say song (not *that* Hear'Say song)
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:48, archived)
# Pure and Simple is an ace song
I read this morning, it was written for Cowell's answer to the Spice Girls, called Girl Thing, but their first two singles didn't do well, so they were dropped.

Shame, as ANYONE could have got to number one with that song
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:04, archived)
# Girl Thing had that bird from Hollyoaks in it.
Trufax!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:07, archived)
# You are SO right...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji6AlNnh4yg

They are much better looking than the Spice Girls.

EDIT: oh fuck, now I'm watching B*Witched
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:12, archived)
# They are my guilty pleasure.
Blame it on the weatherman FTW!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:18, archived)
# C'est la vie.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:55, archived)
# I have Girl Thing's only 'hit' single on my MP3 player
I have a somewhat ... ecclectic taste in music. As anyone who has received one of my Randomburn CDs will be able to confirm.

Also, Roxy off Eastenders was in a 5 piece girl group which had all of one hit. If I could find a copy of it, that would be on my trusty Sony NW-HD3 too.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:13, archived)
# Ha!
WIN! www.youtube.com/watch?v=63h6GuUqROw
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:19, archived)
# That would be the one
I do like my girl groups.

I would also like to add that I like REAL music as well.

Honest.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:23, archived)
# Hahahaha...
BING!!! :) Where's thar bin hidin' sausage? :)
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:32, archived)
# Still no computer of my own,
so I am having to surf internets on my phone. I've been lurking, but not posting :(
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:35, archived)
# Oh poor Whoop :(
poor poor Whoop :(
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:40, archived)
# Aye.
It sucks not having internets properly :(
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:47, archived)
# hahaha the fat headed pipe smoker
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:32, archived)
# I know right?
Eh up Prodge! How's things?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:35, archived)
# trying to get £300 of some cunt for logos I've done
and I've had no word back yet...so I'm not best pleased.

(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:38, archived)
# Well that sucks! Bastards :(
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:44, archived)
# yup
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:44, archived)
# I've an image in my head of you going round to their office with half a pool cue like Begbie
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:46, archived)
# yup...he's got till tuesday
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:49, archived)
# Want me to go round and smash his windows?
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:46, archived)
# haha thanks for the offer
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:50, archived)
# Could you also go around to the chap that owes me 5000 euros for logos and and website and stuff?

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:51, archived)
# totally sucks doesn't it
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:52, archived)
# Yes it does...
I have to force myself not to think about it too much or else I get all bitter and twisted and angry and I much prefer to be a happy lil bunny.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:58, archived)
# I'm bitter, twisted and angry anyway
so it makes fuck all difference to me
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:00, archived)
# He's not returning my messages
I was doing things for him for months. Didn't do anything else for most of the time. I even paid my taxes over it already.

Last time I heard, he's trying to file for bankruptcy.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:59, archived)
# urgh wankers!
I used to work for this guy, and found out they moved.
thing is I know someone who works there,
so he's not getting away that easy and I will get my money.
one way or another.

I hate cunts who do shit like this
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:02, archived)
# I share your hate, prodge

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:06, archived)
# :(
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:09, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/9830819
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:05, archived)
# My amount's too big for a small claims court (here: kantongerecht)
A lawyer contacted me because he wants to represent me in the case, asking 1000 euros for it. But since it's going to be a bankruptcy case now, it's likely I won't see any money at all. So that'll mean I'll be out 1000 more if I go along with it.

*really wants to kill something now*
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:09, archived)
# Surely you can go through the small claims court.
I know in the UK it cost about £50 which you can claim back from the plaintive. 99% of the time a summons results in swift payment.
In which case you get about £40 back from the court as it didn't go to trial.
If it does go to court all you have do is prove that you did the work. It is then up to them to prove they paid. If they can't or they do not
show up they have to pay you the full amount as well as court fee and (upon your request) the cost of you lodging the summons.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:05, archived)
# ^this
Small Claims Court is a very easy process and you have a sure fire win
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:28, archived)
# hehehe
The big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York. After the first day's competition, many of the winners were sitting around in the foyer of the hotel talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play. After a few drinks they started getting louder and louder until finally, the desk clerk couldn't take any more and kicked them out.

The next morning the Manager called the clerk into his office and told him there had been many complaints about his being so rude to the hotel guests....instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy. The clerk responded, "I'm sorry, but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:38, archived)
# Get out
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:39, archived)
# *looks back from the doorway*
*leaves without a fuss*
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:50, archived)
# ...

(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:41, archived)
# as if you won't tell it to someone else
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:57, archived)
# Curses!
Foiled again! Bah if it wasn't for you meddling kids etc etc
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:00, archived)
#
PFFFFF! I just got it :P
(goldfish23, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:41, archived)
# *slaps*

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:42, archived)
# oh FFS....
Good one though
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:43, archived)
# tl;dr
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:45, archived)
# You totally did, didn't you?
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:47, archived)
# I started, then I got bored.
I read the punchline though :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:49, archived)
# that's all you need
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:50, archived)
#
yeah. I'm a bit slow.
(goldfish23, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:06, archived)
# HA! HA! CHRISTMAS!

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:38, archived)
# HA! HA! HA! YULETIDE! HA! HA! HA!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:42, archived)
# A girl at school had a sticker of Chesney Hawks on her pencil case
without a trace of irony, she had written "MY HERO" next to the sticker. I started laughing and couldnt stop, the teacher sent me outside the classroom and I finally managed to get a grip of myself. She came out and berated me with "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!" And I was off again...

i'm actually giggling a bit now.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:39, archived)
# Arf!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:42, archived)
# Yay! I feel validated
in your face science teacher from 20 years ago!
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:52, archived)
# :-D
I had buddy's song on tape! Quality album including this tune:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRqkOwlRUU4
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:44, archived)
# I had to look that up (4.4 out of 10 on IMDB)
I had no idea there was a film to go with that shitty song
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:56, archived)
# we read the book at school
it was rubbish

Dad makes his kid dress like a 50s rocker.
Kid gets bullied cos he looks a twat.
Kid plays guitar and gets girl.
Happy ever after
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:07, archived)
# Wow, your teacher really hated kids
he/she is probably making the kids read Katie Price novels now
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:11, archived)
# You totally should have slept with her there and then.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:44, archived)
# We would have been 12 or 13
"I am the one and only" was in the charts
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:51, archived)
# Even the Devil likes to 'get away' at Christmas...
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:28, archived)
# Oh very, very good indeed!
very good indeed!much clickage!
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:29, archived)
# ^This
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:34, archived)
# Terrific Ninj! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:38, archived)
# Ta Sushi!!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:52, archived)
# I like this! :)

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:39, archived)
# nicely done!
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:44, archived)
# Thanks Taters
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:52, archived)
[challenge entry] Squawk!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:27, archived)
# Aw no!
Poor turkey!

Apparently, in Turkey, they call turkeys "american birds."
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:33, archived)
# not a fan of turkey
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:37, archived)
# Nor me really
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:38, archived)
# Pork then


Click for bigger (89 kb)


with roasted peas
(I helped save b3ta! MisterPunch did it that way on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:56, archived)
[challenge entry] Happy Toapmas!
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:26, archived)
# breast please!
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:27, archived)
# that's right love
it's not gonna clean itself
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:39, archived)
# Hahahaha!
Oh dear!
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:46, archived)
#
brucie bonus [nsfw]

Gbiv .... GBIV .... GBIIIIV GBIV GOOD BUM! GOOD BUM MY LOVE!! GBIIIIIV GBIVGBIVGBIV111!!11!!!!
(goldfish23, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:24, archived)
# oh fuck off
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:24, archived)
#
no. there is nothing more xmasy than two Brucies Bumming.
(goldfish23, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:30, archived)
# do me a favour and shut the fuck up

cheers
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:31, archived)
#
how does NO sound?
(goldfish23, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:36, archived)
#
sounds like bings massive head. thats how it sounds.
(goldfish23, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:40, archived)
#
aw cmon. bings massive head willy was sfw? right? img704.imageshack.us/img704/5549/lolllm.jpg bffffffffffffffff.
(goldfish23, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:51, archived)
# NSFW, link it please
Photobucket
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:25, archived)
# Nice!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:36, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:45, archived)
# thanks.
I'd hide it to remove the image, but i really want to stick around to monitor the reaction....
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:25, archived)
# ....which has been
strangely muted. Perhaps this is a nicely calm and collected Friday after all.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:33, archived)
# I guess we're just bored of trolls now
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:34, archived)
# That's a sad day...
when b3tans find no fun in troll-hunting any more :( Guess I won't be needing this semi-TOAP then.....

(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:37, archived)
# Some people will always be penises
whether you shout at them or not, so why waste the effort? You only make yourself look daft.

adblock works really quite well. It's my friend.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:38, archived)
# why can't
i kwikpost this one?
why, tell me..
(I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:25, archived)
# Today, I haz mostly been using adblock.
I haz mostly been using adblock.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:26, archived)
# It's not even funny

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:27, archived)
# but IS a fine example of
how to master skin tone matching


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:29, archived)
# At least he got that algorithm right!

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:40, archived)
# no no no
you are only allowed to talk about doing it on here
you can't post pictures of it.

This site deliberately discriminates against the illiterate.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:28, archived)
# And justly so

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:41, archived)
# you silly boy
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:31, archived)
# :(
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:31, archived)
# you silly billy

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:34, archived)
# No.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:35, archived)
#
sorry. did not know it should ave been linked NSFW. :(
(goldfish23, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:49, archived)
# FAQ <--- read it?
(Pytchblend Had Tarmac for tea, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:53, archived)
# Happy Xmas :P
santa fuckin loves it.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usQuickPost Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!
(goldfish23, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:12, archived)
#
looks well better not clicked on like
(goldfish23, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:13, archived)
[challenge entry] Yes, OK, I will
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:13, archived)
# yes, but where's his pipe going?
but where's his pipe going?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:15, archived)
# She looks excited by this straightforward proposal.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:16, archived)
# I rather think that
she has suddenly decided where about his personage to ram those bellows.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:25, archived)
# You're dead right
she has just realised the potential fun of inflating him via his colostomy hole.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:27, archived)
# That's what the ticklist is for.
She has been mulling over this for days. This image captures the magic moment where she finally decides that would be the most amusing option.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:31, archived)
# Ugh.
I'm Josef Fritzl and no windows was my idea.
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:15, archived)
# O HAI FRITZELS
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:19, archived)
# BWAAAAAAHAHAHA
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 13:15, archived)
# Here is the forumla:
(Santa+Kid) X (fritzl/glitter) / photoshop = Most of this compo


Nice, lower vernacular photoshopping though
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:17, archived)
# meh
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:21, archived)
# What are all the links about?
Why would I want to Quickpost this image anywhere?
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:23, archived)
# ^This
(I helped save b3ta! BleachedEgo draw a cdc then get back to your teen porn.Pricks, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:24, archived)
# I'm going to post it on myspace
because myspace is shit
and so is this
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:35, archived)
# Say what you like about him but Fred was a good dad

(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:24, archived)
#
i dont .. know ... how .. the links apreard. ??? gheay as, as u can tell it was a paint oolol.
(goldfish23, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:58, archived)
# Clap, cheer and go berzerk! It's the Happy Friday Song!
cheer and go berzerk! It's the Happy Friday Song!
Sing-a-longa



(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:00, archived)
# *Claps*
*Cheers*
*Goes Beserk*
YAY! I actually sang along.
Bits of it are a bit rude *snigger*
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:02, archived)
# Hahaha!
you said 'bits'!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:03, archived)
# *glees*

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:04, archived)
# This was well gay 'til the last two frames.
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:05, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:06, archived)
# Yay for the Happy Friday Song!

(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:07, archived)
# Epic!
I won't jinx it, but that might be an FP there...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:07, archived)
# HFS's don't get front paged*
It's not the Magic Donkey's thang.


Unless Monkeon ever does one
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:12, archived)
# pffft!
not a chance but thankyou!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:12, archived)
# Ace hentai Dave ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:07, archived)
# Woo for friday song :D!
Time to phone Letts and make them add it to EVERY Friday :)!
(I helped save b3ta! w00tAlohrs Où peux-je cacher ces noix de coco?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:14, archived)
# hahahahahaa!
best! suggestion! EVAR!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:15, archived)
# what is this song?
Im one of those people that doesnt know many 'popular, well-known' songs.

Nicely done, but im not feeling too friday as i may have to do some work the weekend!
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:15, archived)
# Clicky-linky for song!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:19, archived)
# Cor - Karen Carpenter!
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:27, archived)
[challenge entry] a well-earned 364 days of annual leave
(I helped save b3ta! valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:58, archived)
# Oooh, I want a heart disease, I mean a mince pie now.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:03, archived)
# Guess what's for dinner?
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:15, archived)
# aren't they great!
(I helped save b3ta! valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 11:16, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:31, archived)
# arf!
*click*
(I helped save b3ta! Kyazrael Juan, two, three, floor?, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:32, archived)
# Oh, hi Mum

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:37, archived)
# awww
i was expecint a tongue to lick that sweet sweet nectar away
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:39, archived)
# that would make it look foolish
;p
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:40, archived)
# hahaha
Poor little Peter Andre
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:39, archived)

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