Needlessly angry response and criticism of treating a puerile digital arts website as a shitposting repository(, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 12:32, archived)
Stated intent of alliterative act of bestiality.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 29 Jul 2026, 15:56,
archived)
e.g. Might alliterate an alligator later(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 19:13,
archived)
but that might be assonance akshallyLol ass, etc
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 19:14,
archived)
Wait what are we talking about(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 14:10,
archived)
you have replied, and you could have found out in less than the time it took you to reply(, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 15:59, archived)
I didn't actually want to know, stop breaching confidentiality.(, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 19:54, archived)
Confidentiality?She told me she was in rehab with Jimmy Chamberlain and Sebastian Bach and they were still smoking pot.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 21:51,
archived)
just bought some spacex sharesnobody tell brb
he already made me feel bad about using AI
(i'm presuming brb is male)
(, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 14:44, archived)
it's a joke person, that's all you really need to know(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 14:47,
archived)
Bit harsh.Hitler was charismatic and a great public speaker, at least.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 29 Jul 2026, 17:44,
archived)
You can have SpaceX exposure through index funds and ETFs with the volatility reduced.Duh!
(, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 15:20, archived)
i would never invest in anything stupidthat's a certainty
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 16:57,
archived)
i'll just check how what 3 words are getting on......oh
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 16:58,
archived)
nah they're alright. good bunch of lads.(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 17:00,
archived)
well handy if you need a rescue helicopter because you're stuck in a tree on the edge of a cliff.happens a lot more than you think
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 17:01,
archived)
it's great fun using what3words to find out if there's a funny combination where you live, preferably from your bedroomthen post it on here so we can laugh at the words and i will absolutely not come round with binoculars.
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 17:04,
archived)
i'm not a savvy investor, tell me morei was going to just leave it there for 20 years
(, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 22:05, archived)
great idea. then you can use it to buy a condo in a martian lava tube(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 30 Jul 2026, 2:14,
archived)
the obviously answer is nonow, show me your neck
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 30 Jul 2026, 7:38,
archived)
Time flies like an arrow Fruit flies like a banana
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 20:55,
archived)
if you want a change from Asian food, Bravo Pizzeria is genuinely excellent Neapolitan style pizza(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 8:55,
archived)
Copper Oven in Arbroath does the best pizzas I've ever tasted outside the Bay of Naples.Problem is you need a compelling reason to go to Arbroath in the first place. Our dog groomer is there, so it's a bi-monthly treat.
www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/lifestyle/food-drink/5419114/the-copper-oven-arbroath-review/
(, Wed 29 Jul 2026, 9:36, archived)
I saw everything(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 22:20,
archived)
MGT, of all people, should know.b3ta.com/talk/7656526
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 28 Jul 2026, 19:56,
archived)
wow,other people remember what i said better than i do, it seems
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 20:15,
archived)
the axe forgets,the tree remembers
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 20:15,
archived)
But the axe cut the tree down Are you telling me that there are coffee tables out there with grudges?
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 20:25,
archived)
I need to stop shopping at IKEA (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 21:41,
archived)
Evening My time off next month has finally been approved
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 20:24,
archived)
Is it though?When does evening start?
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 16:54,
archived)
In winter, when it gets dark at 4 pm, do you still wait till 6 for evening?(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 17:26,
archived)
I was going to see what google had to say about it but I don't like to bother him too much(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 17:42,
archived)
Gunther Gone HagensSorry guys, that's the best I can do, I've had a long and tiring day.
(, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 17:55, archived)
MorningHope you have a super Tuesday. I'm at my sister's looking after her cats. One of them has a bad eye but I've been giving him eye drops and I think the fact he's putting up more of a fight means he's pretty much better.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 7:05,
archived)
I've never had to give eye drops to a cat; I always assumed it was at least a two-person job.The whole 'hold its mouth open while you drop in the tablet' approach was never going to fly with any of my cats.
(
.Yeti., Tue 28 Jul 2026, 8:17,
archived)
It varies from cat to catIf you get ours at the right moment you can administer a pill, but they need to be sleepy. Albie, my sister's massive black floof, has been okay with the eye drops so far but I think he was a bit subdued and poorly on Sunday. Now he's on the mend he's putting up more of a struggle but if you get in quick you can get it done before he knows what's happening. He's not the brightest spark.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 8:34,
archived)
Albatrosses? More like alba-tossers, amirite?!
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 28 Jul 2026, 9:29,
archived)
I'm very disappointed that the SNP has abandoned its long-standing tradition of being led by fish.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 28 Jul 2026, 9:34,
archived)
Ah yes, Tolkien's posthumously published book of fantasy-themed gay erotica, The Dickmarillion.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 28 Jul 2026, 10:16,
archived)
The Adventures of Tom Bummed'emraw(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 11:14,
archived)
Better than weevils though.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 10:01,
archived)
weevils are evilseeing as no-one else has bothered to post this
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 11:18,
archived)
Yeah I thought I left that one as an open goal, bunch of lazy fuckers on this forum, thanks for stepping up Queefy.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 11:24,
archived)
So, what you do, yeah,is you draw a picture of a big insect on a bit of paper, and you show it to someone and you say, 'What's this?', and they'll say, 'Dunno,' and you say, 'It's a weevil,' and then you draw a smaller picture of the same insect and ask, 'What's this?', and they'll say, 'Dunno,' and you say, 'It's the lesser of two weevils.'
(
.Yeti., Tue 28 Jul 2026, 11:39,
archived)
Yet you have the audacity to get the hump about what you consider to be shitposting on here.(, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 13:48, archived)
Weevil kenevil was well cool. One for the kids there. (
mongychops, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 12:41,
archived)
my brother and I had the wind up stunt bikes, they were ace(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 13:42,
archived)
Can confirm. Needs a flat surface to land. Still fun on carpet (
mongychops, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 13:47,
archived)
We lived in a vicarage with a fucking gigantic parquet floored hallIt was perfect. We'd set up opposite each other and fire the bikes at each other. GURD TOIMES
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 16:40,
archived)
OH NO THE VICAR IS HERE AND WE'VE GOT OUR CHOPPERS OUT *canned laughter*(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 17:43,
archived)
They heckn' are an all(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 9:37,
archived)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣾⣷⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣾⣷⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠙⠋⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠙⠋⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣷⣦⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⠤⢤⣤⡄
⠈⠉⠉⢉⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀
⠐⠚⠋⠉⢀⣬⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣥⣀⡀⠈⠀⠈⠛
⠀⠀⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠢⠀⠀SNIFF MY ANÜS
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
(
Cheers Cheers, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 9:44,
archived)
I can't even get mine to keep a collar on (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 11:13,
archived)
You'd better watch out you're not piling the pearls into Saint Peter's dress!(, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 11:37, archived)
The phrase "piling the pearls into Saint Peter's dress" is an obscure surreal comedic line rather than a standard historical or religious practice. If you are instead looking to visit St. Peter's Basilica, strict visitor guidelines apply.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 12:27,
archived)
Comedic? Are you sure? Eh? Is that what American want? Uh? Maybe that's the rule now(
mongychops, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 12:43,
archived)
It's what Google told me, I think the "I" in "AI" stands for "I'll just make some shit up"(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 13:22,
archived)
The term "hedgehog from hell" most famously refers to Deinogalerix, a giant prehistoric, rat-like relative of modern hedgehogs from the Miocene epoch. It also appears as a fast boss character in the Flash game Barbarian Onslaught: The Secret of Steel, and as a popular internet meme describing hilariously cursed, terrifying homemade hedgehog birthday cakes.
(, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 15:40, archived)
I know a cool joke about a stick: what's long, brown, and ah fuck i gave it away (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 12:24,
archived)
alritewoke up with a sore tum but there was a coiol thunderstorm last night with lots of rolling thunder!
(
fross Read your email on, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 14:14,
archived)
woke up with a sore tum but there was a coiol thunderstorm last night with lots of rolling thunder!
'A SORE BUM'!!!!
(, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 16:20, archived)
Easy to do. My 3 months visa is approved, long live the communist party of Vietnam Fuck Thailand with they're new shit 30 day visa.
(
mongychops, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 3:39,
archived)
And none of us existed until you remembered us again.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 6:59,
archived)
naming is the mother of the 10,000 things(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 16:04,
archived)
The old "you lot" routine(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 28 Jul 2026, 8:45,
archived)
look out!I see what you mean
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 22:29,
archived)
Link sadly now dead. :(b3ta.com/board/4457268
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 28 Jul 2026, 9:30,
archived)
Jolly jolly afternoonmy pants are fresh and clean.
I changed them just a hour ago,
I don't know where they've been.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 14:02,
archived)
I’ll tell you where your pants have been,They’ve been to hell and back.
They’ve spent the morning stuffed inside
Your sweaty filthy crack.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 14:25,
archived)
2001, A Spants Odyssey(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 14:45,
archived)
Please try to grow up. You lot act like stupid kids.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 18:47,
archived)
Star Trek The Motions Picture(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 22:07,
archived)
Star Wars The Fart Awakens(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 22:11,
archived)
Project Hole Hairy(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 17:08,
archived)
"Mong" + "mmnnnggg" = "Mornrnrnrnrnring", maybe yours will catch on.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 27 Jul 2026, 7:53,
archived)
It's only the first day of the weeklet's see where we are by Friday. Maybe we'll have a new prime minister too. A prime mnggggister
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 7:54,
archived)
There was a Joel Veitch animation based on that about a hundred years ago. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 27 Jul 2026, 12:34,
archived)
he never does(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 11:25,
archived)
I've been awake most of the night with excruciating toothacheand you all want me to shout GEOSTORM like some kind of performing monkey? You're all monsters.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 11:24,
archived)
you can reduce the pain until you see a dentist by holding cool water in your mouthi did that - was the only thing that helped
(, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 17:52, archived)
_
(_)
_|____
.' |___
/ \
| \
\ /\_.
Mnnneurgh'.____.'
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 1:11,
archived)
x.com/sirjoancornella/status/668055281931313153
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 27 Jul 2026, 7:54,
archived)
I wonder what it's about?
, ,
///////|
/////// |
/////// |
|~~~~~| |
|=====| |
| J | |
| A | |
| C | |
| O | |
| B | |
| | |
| D | |
| Y | |
| E | |
| R | /
|=====| /
'-----'`
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 1:27,
archived)
Just been bummed for £8.05 for a Moretti in SohoHave you ever been bummed for £8.05 in Soho?
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 13:50,
archived)
Never went actually Isn't it like goulash and shit (and piss, obv)
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 19:34,
archived)
My mate bought me cocaine bear He's not good with expressing emotions, so he gives people he loves what he thinks they deserve. I'm still off my chops and he insisted on giving me about £150 worth to bring home for myself. The more he loves you, the more he tries to buy you. I had to plug my ecig in to charge when I got there and he asked where my spare was. When I told him I lost it when I was naughtily drunk last week, he insisted on giving me his late husband's much more expensive one. I'm not entirely sure how to feel about this, but just the fact that he wanted me to have it is very touching.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 21:27,
archived)
Seems like he's still self-medicating the griefI really hope his heart and his finances last longer than this phase, sounds like he's going through hell.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 7:54,
archived)
Oh, he definitely is But he's getting better
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 9:59,
archived)
Has he tried heroin?It goes a lot further than coke does.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 27 Jul 2026, 12:41,
archived)
That price sounds like the result of an inept attempt at haggling(, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 14:09, archived)
Undercut overcut haggling freeThe shitcunts of beeter.com chat are we
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 18:35,
archived)
TREE FIDDY (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 22:14,
archived)
morningi've paid more than that for a pint, but not in this country
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 15:01,
archived)
no,Zurich iirc. although Paris isn't exactly cheap, either.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 15:16,
archived)
Copenhagen is trumpy. Stopped there on a adjourning flight years ago(
mongychops, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 15:44,
archived)
everywhere's a bit trumpy after i show up tbh(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 15:48,
archived)
No But someone once stole my card details and tried to charge stuff to it in Soho
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 16:11,
archived)
I was easily able to prove it wasn't me Because my card had last been used in Liverpool 2 hours earlier, and I wouldn't have tried to spend £450, because I knew damn well I didn't have it
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 18:06,
archived)
ive been bummed for £7 for a guinness but thats probably quite reasonable in that there lahndahn(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 18:03,
archived)
*sigh*(
Cheers Cheers, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 20:15,
archived)
That's a small price to pay for a rectal prolapse (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 21:22,
archived)
Reminds me of a very old Cyanide & Happiness cartoon that I can't find now.Bloke 1:"Would you have sex with twelve dudes at once for a million dollars?"
Bloke 2: "Are you kidding? I'd pay anything to have sex with twelve dudes at once!"
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 26 Jul 2026, 21:55,
archived)
It very much depends on the position (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 22:15,
archived)
Good morning. I am in Burgas airport, about to leave for Luton.Bulgaria was nice, fewer cheap than I'd hoped but beach was lovely and the girls enjoyed it.
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 8:55,
archived)
not somewhere I've really considered visiting tbhMontenegro is high on my list
*[redacted] klaxon*
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 9:18,
archived)
Yeah only went there because school parent friends invited us. Looking forward to being back in the sunny Cotswolds(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 9:33,
archived)
I've got a very rare ambient speed garage 12" by Redacted Klaxon.Gaz me if you're interested.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 26 Jul 2026, 10:28,
archived)
already got it m8, mine's on a 13" though(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 10:54,
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Is that the even rarer version with the Andy Wetherspoon remix on the B-side?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 26 Jul 2026, 11:25,
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And a recipe booklet for novel smoking methods for venison brisket.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 26 Jul 2026, 12:22,
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Venison is too lean for low&slow smoking YOU IDIOT(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 13:51,
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That's why you wrap it in Parma ham first, MORON.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 26 Jul 2026, 14:16,
archived)
Preventing all the smoke from penetrating the meat? NICE 1 EINSTEINLol penetrating
Lol meat
Lol
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 14:54,
archived)
but some kid burnt my neck. I didn't like it.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 26 Jul 2026, 10:15,
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hulloI have literally zero plans for today which is highly unusual
there's an exhibition on at the Hendrix museum but mrs smegwin isn't a fan so might as well do that on my own next week.
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 9:19,
archived)
Just opposite is haunch of venison yard. If you walk up there , was a brilliant Japanese restaurant. Say 30 quid for a lunch. Good tho . Not showing on Google so might be gone (
mongychops, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 10:15,
archived)
yeah I'm drawing a blank on that toodammit
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 10:23,
archived)
Out of Hendrix, turn right, next right down the alley. Newsagents and a walk in only cafe. Do a decent bacon roll. (
mongychops, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 10:46,
archived)
I'm in my mate's making bad decisions again (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 10:12,
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I've done an hour cyclingCleaned the bathroom, hoovered the stairs, mopped the kitchen...come on m8 get cracking get cracking
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 11:41,
archived)
Did it all yesterday Laundry, hoovering etc etc. All done. Day of rest.
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 26 Jul 2026, 11:56,
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Dinner time you bummers!I am pre-toasting some seitan chunks for a big veggie stir fry with sticky ginger-and-soy sauce.
What monstrous foodstuffs are you scum throwing together this fine evening?
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 17:50,
archived)
Well you would say that, wouldn't you.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 25 Jul 2026, 20:11,
archived)
Chickenand rice
and bell peppers
and mushrooms
and some sort of sauce, although I have not yet decided which one
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.Yeti., Sat 25 Jul 2026, 19:27,
archived)
just et a pizza,prepared by the lovely Spacefish
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 19:48,
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i'm also veganmight have beer for dinner
there's nothing in the fridge
(, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 20:16, archived)
Chicken and sweet potatoes and salad and stuff in a wrap.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 20:24,
archived)
Bacardi and coke (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 20:27,
archived)
I BBQ'd some chops and ribs and stuff from the local butchers. Really nice, fairly low-effort meal.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 25 Jul 2026, 20:43,
archived)
Hi scrotum's, hows it goingAnother glorious day here in glamorous Chelsea. Might go for a pizza l8r
Prolly perform an alliterative sex act on an as-yet unspecified animal
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 11:19,
archived)
Might pork a porcupine. *lascivious wink*
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 25 Jul 2026, 12:18,
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Might dock with a dik-dik(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 13:01,
archived)
Might aanally aassault an aardvark(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 13:02,
archived)
Celery, celery. Old football chant for the kids out there(
mongychops, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 11:43,
archived)
I'm struggling to see the football angle here, to be honest.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 25 Jul 2026, 11:57,
archived)
Celery and Chelsea. was an old chant. Probably 80s.Celery, celery, if she don't come I'll tickle her bum with a lump of celery
Celery Celery...
(
mongychops, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 12:00,
archived)
Oh well that makes perfect sense now that you've explained it.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 25 Jul 2026, 12:20,
archived)
STICK of celery is the version I learned. Heartening to recall how the terraces put female pleasure at the heart of things back in the day. It really was like wall-to-wall erica jong out there
(
vladimir, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 16:21,
archived)
A deeper dive into the bottomless pit of weirdness that is football.
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.Yeti., Sat 25 Jul 2026, 12:14,
archived)
Going to see my mate today It's the first time we've had his late husband's birthday since he died
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 13:14,
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There are so many 'firsts' to get through ehFirst Xmas, birthday etc
Fucking tough
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 13:43,
archived)
Yeah Definitely not a day to leave him on his own
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 15:41,
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Well stick a spoon sideways up my arse, so they did!(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 9:39,
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ey up me ducksis this thing still on?
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 16:35,
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Holy shit! I was beginning to think I'd hallucinated your entire existence.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 24 Jul 2026, 16:42,
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yeah,i get that a lot
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 16:43,
archived)
You sometimes think you hallucinated your entire existence? (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 24 Jul 2026, 17:49,
archived)
yeah most mornings tbh(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 17:50,
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Hello MGTDelightful to see you here
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 21:06,
archived)
No, /talk is permanently closed.But hello anyway.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 17:03,
archived)
yeah well,i did have to go down to the basement. i found it in the end in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door that said "beware of the leopard".
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 17:37,
archived)
that's not very nice.(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 18:23,
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i did actually,i fucked off to watch Twin Peaks, and then went to bed
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 19:22,
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i already said yes- so nyer nyer to you, sucker
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 21:38,
archived)
Just about (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 17:43,
archived)
well if we all get banned from social media,we might all have to come back, cos i sure as fuck ain't uploading my passport and/or selfies to any website that asks
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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 17:44,
archived)
I'm banned from twitter But that's about it
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 18:30,
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banned?did you call Alan Mucus cisgender lol
i banned myself from there in the end cos it was shit and getting worse and full of fash.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 18:34,
archived)
NahI made an account purely to call trump names. He didn't like it, apparently, and he was still besties with Elon at the time
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 20:09,
archived)
hayeah, i quit twitter a few years ago, i didn't really use LinkedIn when i was on it and then they leaked my password so i deleted that. what i'm alluding to is the Online Safety Act which will force everyone to provide proof of age. which i'm not prepared to do.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 20:38,
archived)
I think even knowing /talk exists firmly age verifies us all as being middle aged.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 22:49,
archived)
Hooray, let's sing the MGT songWell, I'm rumblin' in this MGT
I'm 5 years old and my dad's giant sitting beside me
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 21:23,
archived)
MGLopi
i bought that single on actual physical media, back in the day.
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MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 22:34,
archived)
Hello MGT from UTOL(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 22:46,
archived)
Blimey! Old skool in da house ¬o,o¬
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djrich - Live from Houghton Regis too rass, Sat 25 Jul 2026, 9:21,
archived)
Free out of severnwww.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd694p30gx5o
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 10:52,
archived)
3/7 ready salted crisps from some brand you've never heard of in the middle aisle of Aldi(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 11:07,
archived)
6/7 Football has been left in your designated safe place(
Cheers Cheers, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 11:18,
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3/7: Them's some tasty crayons (
willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 11:21,
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.......... thanks for that image (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 12:57,
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there you are, was that really you on /board?(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 13:05,
archived)
YesGot a new phone 2 weeks ago, the old one was too badly damaged to transfer anything over, so I made another account. Still wouldn't let me post here, but would on /board for some reason. Decided to try again to log in to my second account today, but it seems my phone has finally got its shit together and actually logged me in on my OG account
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 13:27,
archived)
How did you wreck your phone so badly?(
willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 13:53,
archived)
By being so incredibly shitfaced That I went to the beach with my mate at 8am and drank a bottle of wine in the sand dunes. Then there was a brief 2 hour blur, then I was in Tesco buying a new phone and being told the old one was completely destroyed. Then I went to work. Really shouldn't have.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 13:57,
archived)
Sounds like good clean summer fun which beach was this?
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:06,
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Crosby We'd already got through 2 bottles of gin and about £100 worth of marching powder
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:20,
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way ahead of you Lancashire coast, north of Liverpool
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:46,
archived)
Close to there, yes (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:28,
archived)
I thought I had sobered up before I went to work I very much had not. How I didn't get fired is beyond me.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:29,
archived)
No one wanted to say anything So they ignored you completely
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 14:45,
archived)
sometimes the best stratergy is audacity (
willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 15:01,
archived)
I start when nearly everyone else has finished I just don't think my supervisor wanted to do my work as well as her own. She took one hell of a risk, though. If anyone had spotted that I was still drunk and she'd let me work, she could have been fired herself.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 15:01,
archived)
That's some real trustor a real gambler.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 15:58,
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She lost £7K to a romance scammer So, not the brightest bulb in the box
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 16:34,
archived)
Yikes(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 27 Jul 2026, 11:25,
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I should think so, too (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 13:54,
archived)
Neil 'The Cannon' Buchanan, they call him.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 24 Jul 2026, 15:41,
archived)
Remember the beeb before click-baity headlines? I do.Also they can log in to my ballsack.
(
Octo I ruin everything., Fri 24 Jul 2026, 11:43,
archived)
Oh nothing. Can't something exciting happen?(
Octo I ruin everything., Fri 24 Jul 2026, 11:44,
archived)
having your ballsack logged in (
willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 11:48,
archived)
my ballsack has its own account and has put me on ignore(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 12:43,
archived)
i stopped because my hands got fucked up mongy, lyme disease, they're a lot better now but I got out of the habit, and board is fucking awful now(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 12:50,
archived)
I didn't realize until recently there's lyme disease in the UK, it's spread by ticks just like over here(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 13:02,
archived)
I had Lyme disease and had really bad anxiety for a whileMust have been a nervous tick
(
Cheers Cheers, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 13:13,
archived)
An Irish lad was walking past a corner shop when he saw an ad in the window for "tree fellers", but he didn't apply because he was an astrophysicist. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 15:45,
archived)
have you tried complaining to the mods?(
willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 12:55,
archived)
0-3: Ants in your pantsyour pants, not my pants, ok
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 12:48,
archived)
3/7Should have known the insect one
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 12:56,
archived)
5/7 MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF BEES(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 16:33,
archived)
Thar best be not goin across Wat Monthop's fields, he'll be settin dogs on thee and havin thy guts for garters
(
vladimir, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 10:16,
archived)
I was thinking more STAR WARS energy,He'd be a rubber-nosed alien running a dive bar on some godforsaken planet
(, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 10:26, archived)
I always thought that slight incline sounded like a Star Wars characterway before all these Glub Shitto pretenders showed up.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 10:37,
archived)
www.tiktok.com/@limmytwitchclipsplus/video/7334420039040388384
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 11:03,
archived)
I enjoyed that lightsaber duel between Darth Sidious and Ginger Cuckold(, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 10:47, archived)
Meesa name jar jar dyer and meesa live in Naboo. Is muy muy fantastic. Meesa sound like a shit racist stereotype. Meesa like jedi. one time they went to Tatooine. Meesa went to Tatooine. but some kid did a podrace. Meesa no like it.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 10:55,
archived)
you: look my friend, there aren't enough parsecs to put between me and Wat Monthop, if he knows I'm in his bar right now I'll be twelve kinds of dead and so will you. Don't draw ANY attention to us ok, and we should be able to get out of here with most of our limbs still attached
(
vladimir, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 11:00,
archived)
me: *immediately putting on chicken costume and sparkly waistcoat, playing a one-man-band set-up* what like this do you mean
(
vladimir, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 11:01,
archived)
please stop liveblogging and start making up Star Wars bullshit(, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 11:05, archived)
Wat Monthop: *reaching for drystone-handled lightsaber from beneath bar* eh up oo disturbs the peace of my spacebar
(
vladimir, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 11:05,
archived)
you: oh that's just great just fucking great
me: sorry porcy *three more drumrolls and a parp on the trumpet* is this helping
Wat: *advancing* well if it isn't the scum of the ten galaxdales. Cross my fields will you lad I'll not forget
you: *tunelling into the ground frantically* not really no
(
vladimir, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 11:10,
archived)
a disney+ contract is in the post(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 24 Jul 2026, 15:07,
archived)
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