how do you
work out how far away a storm is, using the lightning/ thunder principle?
( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:55, archived)

Go out side and hold out a long metal rod
When you are struck you know its close
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

Roughly a second a mile
but it is very approximate.
( dr_fonz, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

2 and half miles
eep!
( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

I thought it was a kilometer a second.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

sound travels
AT 300m/s in air
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:03, archived)

Depends on the viscosity
of the rain in the air tho dunnit ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

Yes, it does*
*No, it doesn't. At all.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

roughly a mile every five seconds
is less approximate
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

Then that means...
half a mile
*cowers*
( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:03, archived)

one of the safest places to be
is in a car. Off you go.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:04, archived)

approximate to the point of complete inaccuracy
sound travels about a mile every five seconds

edit: which makes flapjack a mach 3 fighter jet, and me a badly-made paper dart
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:03, archived)

Mindpiss
for physics spods.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

I think it's something to do with the storm being very high up
So the sound has to go down the long side of a triangle. Or something. I saw a picture in a book, once.
( dr_fonz, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

I stand,
very much corrected.

So much for my engineering degree!
( dr_fonz, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

Speed of sound is about 5 seconds to the mile.
Number of seconds from flash to bang / 5 = number of miles to epicentre*.
* or whatever lightning has
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

sharp teeth
I think. bitey.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

I think the meteorologists' term is
a 'bastard'. As in "Look! There's the bastard!"
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

Hahaha :D

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:23, archived)

If I didn't have to spend all fucking
day in meetings with you, I could actually get some work done and you wouldn't have to set up a meeting to see why I have a backlog you sill cow!.

Aaaaaaand, breathe.

/workblog
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

get some work done spend more time on B3ta

and don't pretend otherwise
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:37, archived)

Curses,
you have cracked my fiendish code.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:40, archived)

feindish code prostate gland
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

*mops fevered brow*

*Fists*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

After the spicy liquid poo
I've just shotgunned into the bowl, you really don't want to get anything of yours near my puckered anus I assure you
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:40, archived)

Spicy liquid poo eh ?
*doesnt get the horn*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

Liar.
I just know you've at least got a semi.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

Curse you
and your almost satanic knowledge of other mens winkies.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:45, archived)

Jeremy
Clarkson announced on Top Gear last night that he was nursing a semi.

I'm embarrassed to say I was shocked!
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:46, archived)

That's not embarassing
if you'd been moist it would have been embarassing

edit: and why do you always "nurse" a hard on ? Is it because all nurses are dirty sluts who like it from all angles and up the bum and in the hair with all hairy man willies all over them ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

Ugh.
thinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelsethinkaboutsomethingelse
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

I did laugh
he's right about alfas though. They should give all right-thinking people the horn, IMHO.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:53, archived)

I had one
for a week once, couldn't tell you the model, but it was lovely. And I thoroughly enjoyed the jealous glances at traffic lights.

Wouldn't buy one (any car!) myself, but it was fun.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:55, archived)

You had the horn?
For a whole week?
What happened? And did you get nicked for showing it off at traffic lights?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

I'll be bringing up the
"ocean liner crossed with pimp's boudoir" Alfa next week :D
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

All very nice
but cars just don't come close..

*lady spluffs*
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:59, archived)

It's not bad
but you've left a wet patch on the seat ...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

If you got "jealous glances at traffic lights" you were driving it wrong.
Alfas are not supposed to stop at traffic lights.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

Pish, I say.
They kind of should be really cool but actually seem a bit boring.

What are you driving now after getting rid of your S2000? Every time I see one of those I think you must be gutted!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

I've got an '73 MGB roadster
and Mrs B has an alfa 166

and don't remind me .... :(
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

Some people have to justify being there somehow.
What's a sill cow? One that grazes on windowboxes?
(Small Beer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

Arf :)

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

And all of this in French?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

French isn't any different to English, really.
All you have to do is learn to talk through your nose and forget to bathe.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

Wow
The Aussies are French?
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:53, archived)

If it was Aussies
it would have included "Intone every sentence as if it were a question"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:55, archived)

It would've?
Edit: I have to say, it did come in handy when learning Italian, though - questions are mostly just statements with a rising intonation.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

Most certainly not.
If anything Aussies are pseudo*-Yanks these days.

I only know how to speak French because I am 18 and hence know everything.

* Ugh. That's at least the second time I've used 'pseudo' on here today. If I do it again, would someone please spang me? Thanks.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

Oh cock off :P
I use age as an insult when people are being twats. You've never come across as a prick. Like I said, Easty comes across as double his age, so I won't damn people on the basis of their age alone.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:59, archived)

*stays in at weekends*
*wears slippers*
*enjoys Scrabble*

Oh Christ, I'm 50 at heart. *sobs*
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:02, archived)

Don't forget "wakes up to radio 4"
Rather worryingly, you are my mum
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

Or my wife.
Or me, for that matter.

Apart from the Scrabble.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

I like Scrabble
but that cheating harpy beat me by about 70 points last time
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

Despite possessing the largest mental lexicon
of anyone I know, I'm rubbish at Scrabble.

Come to think of it, I no longer own any board games. No wonder last x-mas was so boring.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:18, archived)

rape her
to DEATH
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

I doubt she would give
even Woat TFH
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:46, archived)

I dunno
I could draw a moustache on her and pretend she was teh queen mums corpse.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:49, archived)

This is the best reply in the history of b3ta.

( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:55, archived)

Whilst we're in an 'other b3tans' sort of mood;
If we were all varieties of crisps, what crisps would other b3tans be, and why?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

Jam flavoured...
I like teh jam...
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:33, archived)

you'd be a massive hula hoop
because then I could use you as a wanking aid.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:34, archived)

You would be Meat Pie with Sauce flavoured crisps
(yes, that is a crisp flavour) because it is the oddest flavour, yet it is very likeable.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:34, archived)

what sort of sauce?
what sort of meat?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:35, archived)

The only answer to both is
man
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

Beef,
tomato sauce. The only real type of pie.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:39, archived)

For the board as a whole
it would have to be something very odd, salty and incredibly more-ish.

Badgers vag flavour ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:35, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/616336
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:34, archived)

You'd be Pralines and dick:)
I luff you
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:34, archived)

You'd be grilled steak
flavour McCoys, but I don't know why.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

Well that does sound rather manly:)


*minces*
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

As a member of the maize based snack minority,
I take great offence to this post.

Anyway, you would be one of those weird, fruit-flavoured crisps, that never really caught on. Woat Gorrier would be a 10p pack of Space Raiders.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

You just wish
that I was raiding your space with my pickled onion essence dont you ?

I think you'd be a bag of Kettle chips, overpriced, overcooked and overflavoured.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:37, archived)

And from Bowthorpe in Norwich?

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

I'm going to go home,
massage acetic acid into my ring, and think of you.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

Whatever turns you on
as you know, on b3ta we're tolerant of all sorts of deviant, spacker, darkie and poof.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Ok,
I'll think of WoatGorrier, the deviant, spacker, darkie poof, as I massage my puckered arse.

Bugger, now my desk is rising...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:48, archived)

Do you sit at
a really small plastic Fisher Price desk then ?

Because I'm sure your little "mouses arm holding a malteser" couldnt lift a real desk.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

Shh!
It took me ages to get the internet through the Speak'n'Spell.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:53, archived)

Pffft
Are you moving to Luton to get further away from me ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:54, archived)

Yes.
I thought I'd better get out, before you started to bring houses prices down any further.

It was that, or tell the police that you were responsible for all the dog corpses that litter the highways. I'm many things, but not a grass.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:59, archived)

bastard
just when I'd alsmost tracked down your exact location......
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:03, archived)

Lu - salt and vinegar
Mykey - Marmite
Dekazer - lentil
Fenris - lavender
sp3cial p3rson - cheese
the mighty badger - ale
baldmonkey - turquoise

And Robin would be instant coffee.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

You would be
Cheese and Peas because it rhymes so goodly.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

What about goat and stoat?
Or nickel and pickle?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

That would just be silly.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Fairly traded instant coffee?*


*God i cant help myself
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:40, archived)

Go and stand in the corner
No, I meant definitely an acquired taste, but well worth it on those occasions you really need his talents.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

talents arse
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

Lavender?!
You cunt!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

I think he just called you
a scented nonce.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

Hehehe
How about a Hula Hoop then?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:45, archived)

Yeah a beef & mustard Hula Hoop is about butch
enough with over-stating it.

*glares*

You'd be a fucking Twiglet anyway.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:48, archived)

Best,
Comeback. Ever.

*snigger* 'you'd be a Twiglet', genius
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

To be honest
you'd be Ham and Mustard Brannigan's. British to the core, yet modern and with more than a slight hint of excitement.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

Ok, now I love you
and I elevate your status to Paprika Pringles with a big tub of full-fat hummus for dipping.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:54, archived)

Real men,
make their own hummus.

By "real men," I mean closet-metros, like me, obviously.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

I so wish I could do that
but home made hummus looks like it's already been eaten once by a cat already
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

Mine always comes out a bit firm,
but it tastes okay (plenty of garlic, lemon juice, and top quality olive oil - add some skinned, roasted red peppers for a real treat!). The trouble with comparing it to shop bought hummus, is that that only has about 3 chickpeas per pack.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

Surely, Lu would be
Lemon and Scampi flavoured Nik-Naks.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

*sniffs fingers*
I wish.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

Roast hedgehog.
Speaking of food...
(Small Beer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:37, archived)

I think
Georide Al would be a cheeky Ham and pickle
lbft would be a lovely prawn cocktail
Jadeviper would have to be a cheesy wotsit
Woat would be a roast beef and mustard
Mykey could be a quaver, all floaty light
Flappers would definitely have to be a good solid Walkers Ready Salted.

I could continue but I fear I may offend.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

You'd be a bag of Frazzles,
but I really can't explain why.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:40, archived)

It's the hair
needs more conditioner you see.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

I must get an awful long way,
when I sleep walk. All the way up to Scotland, spy on Dekazer, back home and all with no memory, except the subconcious image of a bag of Frazzles.

Now I have The Fear!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:45, archived)

Dekazer, don't believe him.
His mangoo is not good for your hair.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:45, archived)

*lower lip wobbles*
But, but he saaaiiid *sobs*

Actually, a Home Ec teacher at school once tried to demonstrate to us that spermicidal foam makes a lovely handcream. It's not such a great leap..
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:49, archived)

God dammit >_<

I'm working on the "good for the skin" approach too.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:49, archived)

You would be a wheat crunchy.
A bacon one. Because it would be a phallic symbol of the strap on you were wearing in my dream last night.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

If you want
a crunchy wheaty eaty, eaty a wheat crunchieeeee.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

Only people with very small, hollow winkies
would view a wheat crunchie as a symbol of their phallus.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

Your point being...

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:59, archived)

gah!
right, me and my lovely chums have created a website and it is hosted on the marvelous freewebs (please note the sarcasm). now, we want to get a domain but don't want to splash out for some proper hosting so i was wondering if any of you lovely people knew of a free web host that either didn't have adverts, or, if it does it has a moveable banner advert that we can customise where it goes on our pages and stuff.... any help

/shuts up

Edit: we have tried united.kg or whatever but it's not accepting sign ups yet and hasn't been for the last year or so
(jimskio http://www.whoopdedoo.co.uk, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

www.aol.com
maybe
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:18, archived)

One of the better free web host directories
is www.freewebspace.net/.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:19, archived)

ohhhhhh
*searches* thankyou all :D
(jimskio http://www.whoopdedoo.co.uk, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:24, archived)

You all think
I'm a cunt.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:03, archived)

why?

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:05, archived)

think smell
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:05, archived)

Yep

( Sonic 2 and Knuckles, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:06, archived)

A nicely packed one though
:P
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

Nellie the Elephant
packed her cunt and trundled off to the circus...
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:10, archived)

With what?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

Peanuts
D'uh.




Edit: Hmmmm, satay vagina....
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:12, archived)

Aye right
Sunpat and cunnilingus, surely a heaven sent combination.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

smooth
or crunchy?

and frankly, I can't think of anything more difficult to get out of pubic hair...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:19, archived)

except on Fridays
when it's Nutella
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:19, archived)

sunpat
and nutella don't go together that well I find ... :P
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

You have
never eaten Reeses' anything! Chocolate and peanut is a fiiiine combination.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:22, archived)

I know
but nutella already has nuts in. extra nuts would have no discernable benefit.

anyway I was being facetious... I think..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:24, archived)

I suspect
that peanut butter and lady gardens wouldn't actually go together that well to be fair.

So you never answered ealier, you going to apply for the Hairy Old Twat job then?
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:27, archived)

I should think so
It's pretty up and coming in my field, and Edinburgh has to be better than Bracknell :)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

To be fair
our swimming pools aren't as exciting as Coral Reef.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:35, archived)

Butbutbutbutbut
It's full of terrible chavs and their kids

*shudders*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

Ah
But it was wicked when I was 12.

Admittedly that's well over a decade ago now. You've just shattered all my childhood memories.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:40, archived)

Sorry
*hugs*

It's still cool, just full of arseholes. shame really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

what????
chocolate spread is fantastic with peanut butter!
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:22, archived)

Meh
*points upwards*

I don't think that the attempted humour succeeded, and as such I will go and sacrifice myself to some obscure god. I thank you for your time.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:27, archived)

*cancels order for chocolate peanut butter body paint for teh bash3tte next week*
I'm going for a bath, I may be back later

*cries like a girl*
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:28, archived)

*reinstates order*
you don't get away that easily ;)

*hugs*

Hope the bath helps ...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:30, archived)

Well
the Nutella was more intended for those coming from the other direction. Sort of starter then dessert I suppose.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:21, archived)

Man fat
congealed man fat
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:12, archived)

this plus peanuts
makes a lovely snack for garden birds
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:13, archived)

You have
cum guzzling slut sparrows north of the border ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

they need something fierce
to feed on the midges


be thankful I didn't include tampons in the recipe there
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:17, archived)

d n ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:19, archived)

that took me far too long
my eyes are really hurting. I should go away from the PC, but I've finally warmed up huddled like this and if I go anywhere else it'll be cold and it'll make me cry
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

If you're feeling rough
you need something to take your mind off it.

When I was sick with teh tonsil AIDS I had to play games for about a day to distract my mind from the pain.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:24, archived)

Mr V's just gone to run a bath for me
cos it helped a lot yesterday. I'm shaking uncontrollably with cold and the pain in my skin from it is intense. my temperature's up to 40C so technically I should be trying to cool down but the thought terrifies me
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:26, archived)

Honestly
the worst thing you can do is heat yourself up more, please try and cool yourself *hug*
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

it won't be an overly hot bath
just a comfortably cosiness
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:30, archived)

Honestly, I don't.
(Small Beer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

I love you.
But only in a carnal way.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:08, archived)

c r

/predictable
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:10, archived)

At least your liked
not one person wants to meet me

*weeps uncontrollably*

*edit* I wasnt being serious, Im well aware my bland averageness means I disappear fairly quickly from the memory. Perhaps I should start calling you all cunts.
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:13, archived)

I would
But only if you were dressed like a pirate. Otehrwise I should be disappointed.

So when's the next bash gonna be then?
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:16, archived)

Yaaaaar
I have no idea, but you should all come to Clapham for the 9th :P
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:26, archived)

I think it's more who was in peoples' minds
at the time they were thinking about it. I tried to write out a list, but I just kept thinking of different people and adding to it and changing things and eventually I just bloody well gave up.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:17, archived)

You still up for meeting at Reading Festival*?



*warning - I may be drunk and/or babbling incoherently
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

Drunk you say?
Could be a plan, hard to organise though! 'Erm, yeah, Im by a tent... its blue'.
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

"I'M RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE MAIN STAGE!
NO.. MAIN... STAGE..."
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

We all fear your RAWK
will corrupt our souls.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

I tried to refrain from writing a list,
as I knew I'd feel guilty about everyone I'd left off.
Then, I did, and now I do.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:21, archived)

Yes we do
but I'm in Derby occasionally, we shall have to arrange an East Midlands bash.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

definitely
there are at least three derby betans and ssgs brother is at un here
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:27, archived)

Then I shall give you a shout
next time I'm threatened with a teetotal weekend at my gran's.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:28, archived)

pfft

( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

Which b3ta/talk regular that you ahven't met yet
do you think you'd get on best with in real life?

And who are your nominations for first b3ta/talk wedding*?

*Mykey and Robin excluded.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

hmmm that's a good question
I dunno, cos I've met a lot of you before

I refuse to make predictions on b3tan matrimony
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:47, archived)

I think it would be better to speculate
on which b3tans would ceate the most hellish spawn were they to breed.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:49, archived)

but
Mykey and Robin have been excluded
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:50, archived)

Their offspring tho
what would it be ?

A vole with the head of a seagull ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:53, archived)

possibly.
I think we should breed mighty badger and badger of love to see if we get real badgers
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:54, archived)

Would they not be
b3dgers ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

No
B4dg3rs
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:18, archived)

or ever
84dg3r5 ?

*self harms*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

*crowns you the 1337 k1ng*

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:22, archived)

you can't breed from Badger of Love
he's pre-booked indefinitely for breeding rights ;)
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

fuck it, why not
we'd need a surrogate b3tan female though :)

just so long as I get to do the implantation :P
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:00, archived)

I'd get on with Lu
and I haven't met her yet.

And probably Dill.

I'd talk Dr Who with Parrot but would possibly spang him for other things.

As for the first b3tan wedding I couldn't possibly say.

edit - and Jadeviper
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:47, archived)

I've met Dill and he's lully
and so's his wifey. smallest bash I've been to was me and him and our spouses, neither of whom are b3tans.

I think I'd get on well with you :)
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:49, archived)

*grin*
I'd also like to meet Dekazer, and Mr Tea and Dr Poppers.

And Dr Shambolic.

And the ever lovely, ever gorgeous lbft.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:57, archived)

I forget which ones I've met
cos half the time people tell me their names at a bash, I fail to pick it up and only find out on the board the next day then promptly forget
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

Oh probably Lu:)

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:48, archived)

I haven't met anyone,
but I bet mykey and comma would be married if it weren't for those damn pesky laws
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:49, archived)

Arf!
I'd probably vote for your good self, Fenris, Dekazer, oh and quite a lot of other people too actually.

/loves (almost) everybody.

EDIT: MR Tea too, how could I forget! Where is he anyway?
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:49, archived)

see I've met Dekaris
and I've known dekazer for over six years in real life.

I think I'd get on well with most people though, I'm very quiet and reserved in real life
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:51, archived)

October 1999 it was
I could almost tell you to the day when we met :D

*reminisces*
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:09, archived)

I remember seeing you walking across the Pleasance Bar...
your blonde hair fluffed out like a cloud. it was quite short in those days.
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

A lot shorter aye
And I was a drunken trollope flanked by the mad Irish women. Happy days.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:17, archived)

I too
love you all and want to do naughty things to you all*

*like buy beers
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

I don't want beer
you'll just have to think of other naughty things for me
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:55, archived)

*greases up*

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:17, archived)

You, Mr Tea,
Lonewolf, TMB, Nimble Colin, Monster Munch possibly Shambles just to figure out if he really is as egotistical as he can come across :P
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:50, archived)

Swap my name for yours and you have what I was about to write
pretty much completely word for word.

edit: But on reflection there are many more people here than that who would qualify.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:53, archived)

Ace :)

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:54, archived)

What he said,
although I'd probably add lbft to the list. Oh, and Lu, but before she went soft.

Bugger! Let my defences down...

Er... I mean, FUCK OFF! I HATE YOU ALL.

[edit: oh, and Woat, Johnny Catfish, Geordie Al and mike. Oh bollocks, I love you all! *cries*]
[re-edit: I forgot baldmonkey, too. *more crying*]
[re-re-edit: not to mention Dekazer, icklepeach and jadeviper! I'm shit at listing things.]
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:05, archived)

I demand
someone does my thinking for me, and suggests another b3tan I should be married to.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:51, archived)

Dave the Hat

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

Was going to type this,
then thought better of it.
(Small Beer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:54, archived)

You both make Baby Jesus cry

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

Hello, darling
*leers unspeakably*
( Geordie Al, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:53, archived)

Oh god
your children's accents would be amazing
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:54, archived)

*installs reinforcement in bum*
I'm ready for you, dear...
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

I'd like to meet Lu and Shambolic
and I'd like to meet Fenris and Dekazer properly. At the last Edinbash, when I realised I'd driven them to physically avoiding me, I decided to tone down my sanctimoniousness on here, believe it or not.
edit: and mostly everyone else.
/Sharing Monday
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:53, archived)

Oh i cant imagine that happening
:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:53, archived)

don't judge someone you haven't met
you hate it when people do that to you.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:55, archived)

I agree
But im thinking he's already made his mind up so im jumping on the bandwagon:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

that doesn't make you right
and you know it.

Stop being nawwty now.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

I liked you a lot more after
meeting you than I did before hand. And it's the reason I'm having a crack today as for a start a lot of people that haven't met you are going to get a very bad impression, which frankly you don't deserve, but you are earning.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:01, archived)

I didn't like him at first
till dekazer reassured me that he's actually a nice bloke
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:02, archived)

you're not that bad
occasionally a little smug, but I blame your amazing hair.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:54, archived)

I noticed that
and it was appreciated. Not that anyone should try and appease me mind. Apart from you Mykey because you know I'm right really and I want your hot man-love again.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

Oh you couldnt manage it:)
Its grown since last time you know?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:57, archived)

Losing weight has that effect
apparently so you must now be of truly epic proportions...
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

*writes four-hour long film*
*casts Charlton Heston, Sir John Mills and Dickie Attenborough*
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:00, archived)

Hehe :)
Ain't it just. Any film that is branded as epic just means it's over 3 hours long
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:03, archived)

I bulge like a man with a rather large penis
After a growth spurt:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:02, archived)

There wasn't a chair
you daft sod.

Although you did scare me with maths at the bar ;)

/world's most maths-shy statistician!
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:00, archived)

I was avoiding him :P
I know you weren't though.

I may just be a petty mean old bastard at times of course.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:02, archived)

While I am
good and pure and virtuous and pious at all times.

*polishes halo*
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

You're probably nicer than me, aye.

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:10, archived)

Pffft
Maybe it'll rub off ;)
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

I've met a few
but Flappers my dear, if you weren't so far away I suspect it would be proved that we were separated at birth. (Edit: Oh, and everyone else who is lovely on here. Obviously. I would very much like a /talk girly night out :D)

And shirley Wicca and Badger?
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

You mean Fenris has no intention to make an honest
woman of you? You can't live in sin forever. Then it will only be a matter of time before we hear the ominous patter of feet from your daemon progeny ;)
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:00, archived)

*wakes up at 4am in a cold sweat*

( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:03, archived)

I'm not one to play favourites,
so I find it's easier to just hold you all in varying degrees of contempt.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

I met BOTL & Mykey on Saturday
and both seemed to be good, sturdy chaps.

Otherwise, I think I'd get on with most people on here - as long as you're all as nice/intelligent as you seem.

Parrott seems like a bit of a cock, though.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:00, archived)

*bums*

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:03, archived)

Didn't you get enough of that on Saturday night?
:)
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:06, archived)

I wanna meet you
I like meeting b3tan parents and comparing offspring :D
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:03, archived)

*holds out Catfish Jnr for comparison*

Once you & Mr V become Orgasmatone millionaires you'll have to buy a crash pad in the Thames Valley.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:09, archived)

as long as it's nowhere near
Milton Fucking Keynes

*suffers flashbacks*
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:13, archived)

You seem sounds as houses
i.e. we seems to have agreed on most things to date so you are obviously right :P
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:05, archived)

I don't know why
but I wouldn't mind meeting Parrott, just to see what he's like in real life. Curiosity, I guess.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:08, archived)

I think I must have missed something
he seems perfectly OK to me, and everyone else out of order.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

you're my friend now
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:22, archived)

:)

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:25, archived)

Nope was me
BTTaT!
( Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:34, archived)

I'd like to meet lbft and comma.
They both make me laugh a lot.
And Flapjack. He is very good at pooemtry.
And monster munch.
Fenris scares me a bit. So not him.
And all the norky ladies.
And everyone else who is loverly.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:04, archived)

Mentalist :P
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:06, archived)

*hides*
*quakes*
Oh go on then.
*bends*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

Good point
dunno who could consider you scary.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

He told me off for nonsensing once.
And, worse, he was in the right.
Now I'm scared of him. He might make me reform in other ways.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

nonce-ing ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:17, archived)

Nonsense-ing.
Being irritatingly nonsensey.
Behaving as would a twat.
Or an annoying gnat.
And stuff.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

I couldn't really come up with a proper list
because I'm curious about what so many people on here are like in real life.

In fact, there is only one b3tan I would definitely never want to meet, and that's sprinkles.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

Cunt.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:16, archived)

*flaps*

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:25, archived)

I wish I'd been to a bash
and met lots of b3ta people.

*weeps*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:14, archived)

One day you will, little Woat.
One day you'll be a swan!
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:28, archived)

Eep!
The storm is right overhead
*is scared*
( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:43, archived)

I love storms
send it here
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

I have rain too, it's wet

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

You in the South?

( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:48, archived)

Dry as a bone here

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:46, archived)

time for some good news about this place I think
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/4648357.stm
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:40, archived)

that's not good news at all!
It'll be shit and in day glow colours and the books will be 5 pages long!
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:41, archived)

ahh now
I assumed they were going to re-run the old stories, but youcould be right... there's nothing in the article that clarifies either way. though for all there were complaints about the Rik Mayall one, I thought it was fantastic. I'm a big Roald Dahl fan, and Rik Mayall too.
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:43, archived)

I never saw it.
What did he read and what happened?


I remember he used to do a childrens poetry show called "Starverry Jam".


Ahhh the days when not all of kids TV was shit.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

it was fantastic
he rarely sat in the Jackanory chair. the set was done like the farmhouse and he leapt about recreating George making up the medicine and stuff
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:53, archived)

Bernard Cribbins
What a man.

Havent even thought about him for years.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:42, archived)

I love him too.
And he was in those Dalek movies.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:44, archived)

I had no idea
he'd done quite so much Jackanory! he's still alive isn't he?
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:44, archived)

I like him.
He has a good way with him.
(Small Beer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

They're going to resurrect Kenneth Williams?
Disclaimer: I only read the headline, and looked at the picture.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:43, archived)

Celebs are to fucking blame
if one of them had the decency to fucking die today, we'd all be too distracted by that to start getting upset at each other.

I reckon it's about time the queen copped it, anyone got her phone number ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

Sorted:
www.celebsyouwanttoseedead.com
(Small Beer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:27, archived)

It's a start
but it doesnt actually kill them does it ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:30, archived)

Alright then;
www.mafia.org
     ↑
mmmm...
(Small Beer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:33, archived)

upset at each other?
what did I miss...is there a linky?
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:27, archived)

Just poo off will you !
I'm not talking to you !

See ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:29, archived)

Just lots of stuff about G8, protests,
globalisation, etc. Predictable giving who was invloved. Still on the board, or prev page.
(Small Beer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:30, archived)

This is my favourite G8 post at the moment...
www.b3ta.com/board/4842718


pffff G8 Post
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:31, archived)

the usual.
Someone saying something silly.

Fenris getting all mad about it and picking on Mykey.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:30, archived)

I'm sure Mykey is quite capable
of defending himself.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:33, archived)

He doesn't need to
that's the beauty of him
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:34, archived)

That's because he's a troll.
He's a troll that I find likeable a lot of the time, but that doesn't alter the fact that he's a troll.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:37, archived)

Well i luff you :)

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:38, archived)

I luff you too
and I appreciate how good you are at stirring people sometimes, except when you successfully manage to stir me!
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:41, archived)

Oh i dont mean it:)

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:43, archived)

His trolling is making the site look like a racist website.
If it goes a little further, we could all lose our jobs if it were found out we were associated with it.

It's also hateful and unfunny.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:42, archived)

You are utterly utterly losing it my friend!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:43, archived)

I think he has a point.
There are times when this message board looks like a very unpleasant place, and there are a number of views expressed* that I'm not that comfortable about being associated with.

*maybe in jest, but it's not always easy to tell
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:47, archived)

Even if they are not the views of the poster,
those views are expressed!
That's what words are!
It wouldn't be okay to spraypaint racist remarks on a wall in jest.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:50, archived)

Perhaps,
but what you are doing with that comparison is ignoring the context. There is quite clearly a non-serious atmosphere about the place, whereas a public wall is not in a non-serious context.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:54, archived)

This is a public website.
All the time there are racist-looking posts on the board we are turning away nice people or, worse, attracting real racists.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

Well, then,
don't fucking visit it at work!

b3ta has, for as long as I've been a member at least, and presumably for as long as you've been a member, featured a large quantity of material that would be awful if it were not in this context. Bad taste/sick jokes are all over the bloody place. There are a lot of far worse things posted on the picture board than on /talk.

If you think you would lose your job for visiting b3ta at work, then take some responsibility for your own actions and don't visit it at work.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:50, archived)

Not like this it hasn't.

( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:51, archived)

If you dont like it then click ignore
And those views you find offensive wont be displayed, if you dont want to ignore then you have no right to complain
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:53, archived)

This is flawed
because I'm worried for the whole site, not just my blood pressure.
edit: and my name still appears on it for everyone else to see.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:57, archived)

You, you smug little
18 year old ignorant prick can suck my balls and then fuck off back to wanking over the Kays Catalogue you detestable, supercillious cunt.

/doesn't matter as it's not real life
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:38, archived)

Dear Fenris,
is there something wrong with being of a particular age?
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:39, archived)

No I like you
and my views expressed don't matter as this isn't real life.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:39, archived)

Shut up you fucking middle-class, white, male,
ageist cunt.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:42, archived)

Ooh, I've given myself TFH now

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:43, archived)

Damn you
Damn you to hell.

I've got no issue with teenagers, but teenagers that think they know everything* (and manage to look that smug in their photo) are fucking irritating.


*yes, I was one...
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

Everyone who think they know everything is irritating.
Even worse is if they really do.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 17:56, archived)

It's only words and words don't mean anything because it's
only words and words don't mean anything because etc.

In other news, I purchased that Murakami book that you recommended (LOTS of words) yesterday. I was rather hung over yesterday (and I have a reading age of 10) so it'll probably take me a couple of years to finish!
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:42, archived)

:D
Hehe, it's cocking great and I hope you like it!

I am admittedly in a bit of a mood and feel like flaming people today... ignore me
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:44, archived)

you're too dull

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:40, archived)

Spaz down a little way.
And try not to rekindle the argument.
We're all moving on.
Honest.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:30, archived)

*Moves on*
*movin' on up*
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:31, archived)

I wouldn't rekindle
it's bound to happen again given the variety of political views on here, and I'm on my lunch.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:31, archived)

no probs deary
I have taken on peoples views and shall keep it in mind for the future:)

A couple of the harsher views of me wont be forgotten though(and by this i dont mean Fenris who only means well for me :)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:36, archived)

*sighs*
I know I've been through it with you a million times. But you do what you always do, I'm not yer mum.

I've had her though, and she were shite.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:50, archived)

Moving on?
I think it's just a cover up.

Damn you, and your fascist, bully boy tactics!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:32, archived)

Dont you start damning us
you deserter.

Fucking up sticks and leave us when the whim takes you.

Probably be hanging around Luton Airport trying to pull Loraine Chase.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:36, archived)

If I knew who that was,
the very idea would GMTFH.
*looks down*
Oh...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:41, archived)

Dont you remember the old Campari adverts ?
you're old gay enough

Or am I supposed to not call you gay now ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:44, archived)

Oh, right.
The skinny woman from Emmerdale.
*shudder*

You can call me gay, all you want, big boy.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:50, archived)

Scroll down a bit.
Personally I think we really do have something we need to sort out.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:31, archived)

here's an idea.
www.b3ta.com/thedoor/dontletithityouonthewayout
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:33, archived)

What ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:33, archived)

You are kidding right?
And what are your suggestions?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:34, archived)

Why don't you fuck off
you poncey antagonistic whining bastard.

No offence.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:34, archived)

It's easy.
You don't like a person or their views? Use ignore. Works every time. No point in making a witch-hunt out of it.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:35, archived)

Witches give me the horn
especially hunted ones.

Is this wrong ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:37, archived)

racist

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:38, archived)

Virgin

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:40, archived)

spluff monkey

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:43, archived)

mmmmm
Evil Willow...
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:41, archived)

I've got no pink lines on here yet
it'd be a shame to start.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:43, archived)

This.
Plus I might miss something good in a follow-up.
Plus whenever I try to ignore anyone I always find myself un-ignoring them because I can't stop giving them the benefit of the doubt and thinking just maybe, this time, they've posted something worth reading. I'm invariably disappointed.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:46, archived)

I have one.
And I think a second person will be joining soon. It's a shame, yes. But some people should just stop being so smug and superiour and learn to just forget about it instead of prattling on about losing his job and making a huge issue out of things, the smug little git.

*glares up the board*
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:47, archived)

Sorry.
But I really do care, and think the board could be nicer for everyone.
At least I haven't posted anything today that I don't mean.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:55, archived)

graahhhh
i can't get the Pornalike quiz tune out of my head.

I'm at work! I don't want to start singing it!
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

Afternoon!
I'm all alone (well I'm not exactly alone as am on lunch hour in a net cafe)

Today I have mostly been shouting at people and giving myself indigestion. I have nothing of interest to say. But I do have the worlds BEST mullet to post later.

How am you lot?
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:22, archived)

I am in possession of antibiotics
and feeling so rough I could cry
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:23, archived)

awww poor you
*cuddles and gently wraps cashmere scarf around your poorly throat*
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

thankee lady
Mr V just brought me a hot water bottle for my shivery back and I burst into tears, which hasn't helped my throat at all
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:31, archived)

We're moving on.
No arguments here.
Honest.
How are your breasts?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

big and bouncy
as usual
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

Good work,
clever girl,
keep it up.
Etc.

I am nearly feeling well in the head again. My prozac is starting to kick in.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:28, archived)

listening to light jazz
and eating cheese scones
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

I love cheese scones :(
I'm soooo hungry but it hurts too much to eat
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

May I suggest you watch the South Park episode,
"How to eat with your butt".
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:29, archived)

You have much sympathy from me, lady!
I had something the other week. Began with G. I think.

Couldn't talk for a week, couldn't eat, wok,e up in the night with bleeding gums where I'd been chewing my mouth in pain.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:29, archived)

Gonorrhea
Gout, or Goulash?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:31, archived)

I was up all night with a case of the shits
And now I'm working from home...well trying to inbetween my fucking internet connection spacking out...
( Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

bad pint on Saturday?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:27, archived)

Why would having the shits keep you up?
Just make sure your duvet's well tucked-in.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:30, archived)

Afternoon, old chap.
Good night on Saturday, I thought.

Everyone's jumping on Mykey below. I think there's a part of him that hasn't been kicked yet if you hurry...
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:32, archived)

My heads still only 40% bruised!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:42, archived)

Saturated
with half the contents of the North Sea.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

It is raining the biggest drops of rain I have ever seen here
and the cloud is incredibly black.

It's purrdy.
( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:22, archived)

We had the most intense thunderstorm
I've ever seen in Europe, last night. It was great.

Thunderstorms GMTFH.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

The best I ever saw was a massive storm on a four hour
drive to Paris (July 1995). We seemed to be heading in the same direction as the lightning for the entire time and the surrounding area was so flat you could see for miles. It made me positively moist with excitement.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:27, archived)

Cool
just wait until the tripod machines burst out of the ground and kill everybody.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

Hey! Hot hail!

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

Thundery too!
Hence no machines
( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

It's also a sign of the impending apocalypse.
Close all your windows and make your next four posts from the understairs cupboard. Hard.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

Pestilence.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:37, archived)

War.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:37, archived)

Famine.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:38, archived)

Death.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:38, archived)

Oh, look.
The 4 b3ta posts of The Apocalypse.

Well, that was time well spent, wasn't it?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:39, archived)

I vote we change pestilence for something more modern
like Shaving Rash. Nobody knows what pestilence means anyway.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:43, archived)

Head...

( Shoosh up your lips Not state-funded, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

you offering?

( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:13, archived)

You asking?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:19, archived)

I'm asking

( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:20, archived)

Then I'm giving.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

cow...

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

shoulders

(Al__S is constantly suprised, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

knees

( Shoosh up your lips Not state-funded, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

toes

(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

Knees
and toes.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:17, archived)

and hoes

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

inwits.b3ta.org/hospital-sign.jpg
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

WHERE THE FUCK DO I FIND SOMEONE TO SEE MY KNEES AND TOES?
have mercy on a cripple.
(Al__S is constantly suprised, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:17, archived)

left for both legs
right for just the one
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:18, archived)

gasket.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

cheese.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

make lots of high quality sporting goods,

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:16, archived)

No they don't

( Shoosh up your lips Not state-funded, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:23, archived)

grrr
why do people book time in recording studios, at great cost, and then not turn up?

FUCKING FLAKES!
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:11, archived)

because

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:13, archived)

Sniffing flakes?

(Small Beer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

when I was doing some sorting-through of stuff
while Mr V did a bit of packing yesterday I found my 22nd birthday card from my mum where she said she'd pay for a session in a recording studio for me as my present. never got around to doing it
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

i didn't know you were musical.
do you play or sing?
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:16, archived)

sing

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:20, archived)

ah
well i hope your throat gets better soon then
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:22, archived)

I just want to the pain to stop :(
hard to say whether my tonsils or the skin on my back is worse
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

What's wrong with the skin on your back?
I thought it was just your gullet playing up.

:(
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:28, archived)

got a virus
making my skin all shivery-achy. it's really really really really really horrible
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:34, archived)

In other news:

NORKS!

Discuss.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:05, archived)

that's good timing
I'm just back from the hospital. the doctor took one look inside my mouth and said "yuck!" and gave me a double-dose of antibiotics
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:08, archived)

oh, so it's bacterial then?
:( hope you feel better soon..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:10, archived)

me too
he said if it's improving after three days to go down to the normal dose. I'm feeling utterly done-in just from being driven to the hospital by my mum, sitting waiting for 50 minutes, three minutes being seen, back to the car to the chemist, a few minutes while they filled the prescription and home again. I'm wrapped in a blanket in all teh pain and shiveriness now

*sobs like a baby*
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

ah, if it's bacterial
you'll feel better really quickly. did he swab your throat to test for strep? if not, he's a charlatan, and should be burned ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

no, he didn't swab
he could barely bring himself to look. he said it was a particularly nasty infection
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:17, archived)

naughty man
you can't tell the difference between viral and bacterial otherwise, state of the NHS I don't know *muttermuttermutter MRSA*

should shift it in a day or two though if it is a strep job :D here's hoping
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:19, archived)

of antibiotics

Good job you went!
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:11, archived)

What's to discuss?
*fwaps like a monkey on speed*
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

God i go out and theres been a witchhunt!


/Cause of ALL evil on the board apparently
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:10, archived)

No, If you will notice
down there *points* I mentioned somethign about some people taking things far too seriously which does not help.

But you have been a bad boy and deserve a spanking, come to Uncle Lonewolf.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:13, archived)

Meh
I enjoy being a scapegoat:p
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:16, archived)

Put your toys back in the pram
Or you could just fuck off and come back when you realise its not the real world.

hehehehehe... ;)
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

Arf:
Oh im not upset or anything!Just amazed how some people think they can define whats acceptable on the board...liberal facism is funny as fuck:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

Might I draw the honourable gentleman's attention,
to the section of the FAQ, entitled "Are any subjects out of bounds on B3ta?"?

You damned anarchist.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:18, archived)

So
We're not allowed to say "I would" ?

*weeps*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:22, archived)

I would
n't.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:23, archived)

Nope.
We're two steps from a full on dictatorship, I'm afraid.

In other news, I demand that Mykey up sticks and move to here - clearly the perfect home for his unique brand of social thinking.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

Oh my god i must amend my ways
Never shall an offensive post be made again for fear of upsetting someone
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

I find your blasphamy
offensive.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

The insincerity of this post
is killing me.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:29, archived)

Like I said,
a bit of what you fancy does you good, a one-trick pony is dull as fuck.

And if you really didn't care about all these pinkos and their social control, why would you give a fuck that everyone thinks you're a racist?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:23, archived)

I'm not demanding
I'm just trying to appeal to you. I think this place would be a lot nicer if you weren't setting out to wind people up all the time.

Come on, for about 3 working days in a row there have been posts that have had the board split and arguing about stuff that you have started. Is it really that fun? It's a step off trolling. Or are you just going to drive off anyone that thinks differently to you?
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:23, archived)

I havent been on the board barely for three working days
I was sick for thursday and friday and went on maybe once.

edit: so if i wasnt here how can you blame me for starting the posts those days which split the board?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

Maybe you've acheived omnipresence?
Perhaps we should worship you?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:30, archived)

We're moving on.
Now shush up your face.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

This ^

( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

Animalist
*jumps on PC bandwagon*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:13, archived)

Lovely things
Saw a woman at the weekend wearing the type of top you really shouldnt wear without a bra underneath, without a bra underneath.

Lovely as she was walking quickly.

*engorges*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

*gets a good mental image*
*pops to the toilet to do a winky-burp*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:13, archived)

Went and cycled around Edinburgh just there. Dull.
There's about 110 anarchists. With drums. Sticking it to the man, in a very hemmed in kind of way.

In context: there's about 200 police vans. And about 3000 police officers.

Unless, much like Bannockburn in 1314, there's a hidden battalion of picts hiding up the Mound (ooh er) waiting to join in and fight, there's going to be no violence and looting whatsoever.
( drunkenoaf, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:00, archived)

Ooh
I hates those anarchists. Going and demonstrating about something they genuinely believe in instead of unthinkingly endorsing the system that keeps them nice and comfy.
(Withiel assumes the position!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:02, archived)

still
that's 110 useless cunts we know the exact location of.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

excellent
*programs missile system*

*prepares tactical strike of soap, shampoo and some sense of actual reality*

*fires*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:06, archived)

And about 10 police officers
are doing nothing, other than chatting up the girls that work in La Senza on Princes Street. Oh for a camera! Lazy pigs!
( drunkenoaf, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

are they still using
a wheen of hired generic white minibuses to cart the polis about?
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

Right
I must nip down the road and post my b3ta donation. Anyone got any requests for me to do while I am outside?
( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:52, archived)

Ah fuck it
I forgot to get a stamp.
( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

Wank
and wank and wank.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

this
preferably in front of a shop window, grinning like a loon.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:55, archived)

And depending on the message you want to send
You can do it in front of Accessorize, Moss Bros or Mothercare.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:58, archived)

or the butchers
of course.

mmmmm .... offal..

*gets TFH*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:01, archived)

Cheesemongers
Nuff said.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

Steal a Jag, and drive it to Gleneagles.
Then paint "I want your babies Mr Bush" over the bonnet in bright pink paint.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

Wouldnt it be a lot more fun
if there were a mass of antichrists arriving in Edinburgh rather than the boringly unwashed anarchists they're stuck with.

Just imagine turning on the tv to see that half of Scatland had been turned into a Bosch painting.

By the way, your all gay and I havent missed you at all all morning while I had to work.

Bummers
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:41, archived)

Queer-bashing cunt.
/reformed by Robin.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:42, archived)

Pffft
reformed bummed senseless
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:43, archived)

Urgh!
Old man cock!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:44, archived)

A relative of
old man river ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:45, archived)

That's
elderly man river, I think you'll find.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:49, archived)

And he would have gotten away with it too
if it wasn't for those meddeling kids.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:47, archived)

*meddles with kids*

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:48, archived)

What do you want,
a fucking meddle?
(Uncle Vinnie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:56, archived)

Pffft!

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:01, archived)

You've been bummed
into submission ?

Spacker
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:44, archived)

Saying 'spacker'
is bad for the environment.

You anti-semite fuck.

/reformed by Robin.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:45, archived)

I'll say what I arsing well like
peasant flid darkie.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:46, archived)

Ummmmmmmmmmmm-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I'm telling on you...
ROBIN! ROBIN! TELL HIM. HE SAID I WAS A DARKIE.
THAT'S RACIST BECAUSE IT MEANS NIGGER, DOESN'T IT, ROBIN?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:48, archived)

YES.

( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:32, archived)

Hey
I never thought I'd see the day but I'm on Robin's side for this one.

Increasingly this place seems to have got more and more homophobic/racist to the point I feel uncomfortable coming on here. Every day there seems to be some very close to the bone slavering from Mykey. If anyone then objects he either says he was joking, starts insulting the person that objected, or just simply fucks off.

I come to this place for a laugh and a chat. I appreciate that our collective sense of humour is pretty unpleasant but I draw the line at us sitting there getting a cheap laugh at "niggers and poofs".

I'm not being PC. It's just usually not fucking funny and it just ends up with people getting pissed off with each other.

As much as Mykey seems like a nice guy in person why should we have to endure this bullshit every day. I'm sure there are sites where he'd get better response to his white-supremecist view points and I don't particularly feel that we should have to put up with them.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:51, archived)

I agree



Nazi.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:57, archived)

Yes.
Still, moot point for me, really, as I shall be gone from here by the end of the week.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:57, archived)

Nonono
why?
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:59, archived)

I'll be busy in my week off (next week), preparing for my move,
and I consider it bad form to throw myself straight into b3ta-style slacking during the first few months of a new job.

Chances are, I'll be back by x-mas!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

Why?

( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:59, archived)

(see above)

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

But I've got us a bottle open. Confiscated it from Flapjack's supplies. 53 Lambrusco.
Best of the century.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:01, archived)

Pfft!
You are a man of class and distinction, and no mistake.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:08, archived)

Shome mishtake, shurely?

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:01, archived)

Mistake?
How could moving to Luton ever be a mistake? I'll have all the fried chicken, racial tension and petty crime that a man could wish for!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:11, archived)

It'll be like living in a real life b3ta-land!

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

Good fucking riddance.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:05, archived)

You found the words
we were all scrambling around for. Thank you for your eloquence.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:08, archived)

Aft'noon.

( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

Damn it!
I hate these long, emotional goodbyes...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

Jings!
I think I'll sod off for the day and come back when the preachiness has all gone...

We all know he doesn't mean it. I quite like the fact that there is little seriousness on here. It helps me relax.

If you start taking things seriously on here, you get a whole day of conversations like this.
And they are dull. And they go on and on because we all can't help but pick at them like a scab. (I'm aware that I'm as bad as everyone else.)
And it's not why we come here.

Now can we please get back to crude innuendo, insults and mocking the deaths of celebrities?

And talking about norks.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:57, archived)

*bums*

(Naughty Tortoise, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:59, archived)

Hang on, it's not preachiness
and I'm not sure I do believe any more than "he doesn't mean it". I get the impression more and more that it's only a very thin veil between what he posts now and out and out racism.

Maybe he doesn't mean that but you can only judge people on what they say and recently he's done nothing but come across as a cunt. I actually like to get along with people on here, but I've felt no kinship there and if ever I object to something he's said I've started getting dead-pan insults that I can't tell how to take.

Want to laugh about dead babies, or 9/11 or teh holocaust fine - fire me up and I'll laugh like the rest of them. Want to post some link from the BBC thet 'proves' asians are all work-shy, or deviants or whatever your twisted little mind has decided that they do then no thanks.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:04, archived)

Seconded.
/lazy
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

what the hell is your problem?
am why am i the one entirelly to blame for this?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:08, archived)

Well, in all fairness,
you are the biggest cunt on here.

(I mean that in a nice way.)
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:10, archived)

Because it's getting really fucking annoying mate
and in general it's you that's causing these rifts in the first place.

I'm not having a personal go at you but I am saying that you seem to be coming across like more and more of a racist areshole. If that's not what you are maybe you should think about the way you come across. If that is what you are can't you take it somewhere else?
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

Yeah cos thats not personal
Cheers mate.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:18, archived)

THAT'S NOT BEING FUCKING PERSONAL
FFS!

I'm just fucking pointing out that you sound like a cunt. If you're not (and I don't think you are) then just take a look at the way you are portraying yourself.

Jesus Cunting Christ on a stick you're difficult.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

Why do birds suddenly appear?
Every time ... you are near.

*pictures mykey and fenris running towards one another in soft focus along a beach at sunset*
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:27, archived)

Because it's you that does it.
It was really peaceful here the other week, when you were away in Egypt thinking up things to say about towelheads when you got back.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

Oh bless:)
I luff you:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:18, archived)

See.
And now I'll reply.
And then you'll reply.
And then I'll reply.
Blah blah blah blah...

And at the end of the day I am incredibly apathetic about a lot of issues, simply because they aren't my problem and I am a selfish shit. So why am I perpetuating it? Who knows?

I love you, by the way.
I love you all.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

Well I think you're wrong.
This is one of the few places I know of where people understand they're just words


EDIT: I also think that any "racist" posts aren't actually taking the piss of darkies or whatever, but taking the piss out of racism itself.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:02, archived)

Yes,
trout fucker.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

I agree
but the same words, over and over again, gets tedious*.

It takes effort to be funny, any old cunt can be provocative and offensive. It's like the messageboard - some days it's inspired, and the bandwagons are funny, some weeks you get nothing but the 'quo and 9/11.

*Ning! *bums* **
**/self-referential
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

Words have meanings.
If you don't mean the meanings, don't say the words.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:10, archived)

words don't kill people.
Rappers do.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:11, archived)

in response to your edit
to get away with "casual racism = funny"
you have to demonstrate that you are not actually casually racist
Mykey has done that (although he teases around the edges quite often) ... you haven't (yet)

and even when the regulars know it isn't serious, it looks pretty nasty to a noob or a passing visitor
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:13, archived)

Can you point me to Mykey doing that,
other than where he's losing an argument?
I'd be impressed.
I agree, Parrott does come across like he genuinely means it.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

Granted it's usually the last post of an argument he's lost as you say.
But I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. An ill-informed would-be-tory yes. A cunt. Certainly. But probably not a racist.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:30, archived)

I agree in principle
but some people are just getting a little bit too bent out of shape which just goads certain people into winding them up even more.

Anyway, enough of this.

NORKS!
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

If you dont like it then fuck off
And come back when you realise its not the real world
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

Why would we fuck off
when we're in the happy majority and there's a perfectly functional ignore button?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

Oh its 'we're' is it
I like that!
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

Yes.
It's a secret anti-mykey cabal.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:17, archived)

Yes
Look at how many people you manage to piss off in one of your less than carefully thought out posts. You'll usually get half a dozen at least.

On your side you have the 18 year old and baldmonkey who is mad.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:18, archived)

Sorry if ive offended you mate
theres no need for a witch hunt

I shall take this as one of your monthly rants like you had against the 4rthurians a while back.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:20, archived)

It's not even that I'm offended
and I'm not trying to witch hunt you, I'm just trying to ask you to take a look at how people are responding to you.

A few month ago we had some really really good laughs on here... they don't seem to happen anymore. Obviously that's not solely down to you! But I'd sooner we can have a laugh on here than just perpetual political arguements
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:27, archived)

Yes.
I'd like to thank everyone else who's standing up to him, instead of letting me end up looking stupid and losing my temper. Thanks.
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:23, archived)

Stand up to me?
God you are so glad you've got a cause arent you!
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:31, archived)

Well, what will happen
is that people will start Ignoring each other, and missing out on the good stuff.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

I do like how Some members here will laugh at one type of sicknes
But if anyone dares to find a different type of sickness funny then they are a nazi/racist/homophobe:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:13, archived)

Nothing to do with 'daring'
if one person consistently makes jokes about one offensive subject, and very little else, they give an impression to others.

I mean, would you let Woat look after your dog for a week?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:19, archived)

Maybe we're just missing the joke in the "when heebs attack" post.
It's a link to an unpleasant news story and the word "heeb". If it had been a link to a flash animation of a bloke with a big hat and locks dancing on dead nazis then it might have been funny. As it is - I just don't get it.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

this



or set up "www.b3ta-butwe'renotracist.com"
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:11, archived)

I don't talk to people here
any differently than I do in real life. Having met me you should know that.

What you say on here must in some way reflect what you think in real life. I don't come on here and suddenly start posting stuff about hating a culture etc that I don't irl purely because it's the internet.

You've done a good enough job of driving people from here in the past mate, why can't you just take a look at what you're doing rather than assuming we're all being wankers about it?
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

Im not assuming that at all
Because again i realise this isnt real life
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:22, archived)

How exactly is this not real life?
Is the internet something we've all just been imagining for the last ten years?
( Newington, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

But it is real people
(Naughty Tortoise, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:34, archived)

I don't
see how you can have a group of anarchists.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:43, archived)

Arf.
Full on anarchism makes no sense to me.
However, I can see the argument for more anarchy in a governed society. Perhaps this could work in smaller societies, say towns or villages.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
I'll stop typing now.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:51, archived)

Aye - anarchists are all for anarchy
while they're getting their dole cheques.

I wonder how many of them would need to be raped/beaten/murdered before they realise anarchy isn't so great.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

Quite.
You need some amount of social structure.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 13:01, archived)

Easy
They all form a group under the Head Anarchist.

Oh... hold on, that's not right...
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:51, archived)

Maybe it's just a coincedence
that they all arrived at the same time?

Maybe the man is secretly manipulating them, for his own ends?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

C'mon chaps,
let's all have some fun.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:36, archived)

Same but for squeekers
www.eecs.harvard.edu/~yaz/en/squirrel_fishing.html
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 12:50, archived)