meh :(
I've just had a horrible realisation. it's lovely and peaceful and quiet here, just as I like my evenings to be. that's because my kids are at my mum's and they'll be home in an hour!!!
*sobs*
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:59, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/125479
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:59, archived)

you'll go over my knee young man

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 18:01, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/523753
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 18:04, archived)

*wiggles bum*

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 18:07, archived)

move house,
quickly!
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 18:01, archived)

we're already having to move house more quickly than we want
cunting landlords
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 18:02, archived)

*croons to an unrecognisable tune*
“I’m just play-ing FreeCell-
FreeCell’s the game that I play.
I’m just play-ing FreeCell-
And then I go home for the day”
( thegoose, quietly backs out of the room hoping no one noticed, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:46, archived)

Dont forget your nightvision

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:52, archived)

*continues to croon*
"I’m just play-ing FreeCell-
FreeCell’s the game that I play.
I’m just play-ing FreeCell-
And then I go home for the day.
I will remember my nightvision
My nightvision is remembered OK
I've not forgotten my nightvision
So soon I can go home for the day"
( thegoose, quietly backs out of the room hoping no one noticed, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:55, archived)

And remember to creep up slowly behind your victims

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:57, archived)

*takes deep breath and continues*
"I’m just play-ing FreeCell-
FreeCell’s the game that I play.
I’m just play-ing FreeCell-
And then I go home for the day.

I will remember my nightvision,
My nightvision is remembered OK.
I've not forgotten my nightvision,
So soon I can go home for the day.

Can't be to quick 'pon my victims.
Must keep my urges at bay;
Must creep up slowly behind them,
Then I can go home for the day."
( thegoose, quietly backs out of the room hoping no one noticed, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 18:01, archived)

Also, if they bring it to court
Point out that she loved it, it isnt illegal then
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 18:03, archived)

*sighs, fine, here goes*
"I’m just play-ing FreeCell-
FreeCell’s the game that I play.
I’m just play-ing FreeCell-
And then I go home for the day.

I will remember my nightvision,
My nightvision is remembered OK.
I've not forgotten my nightvision,
So soon I can go home for the day.

Can't be to quick 'pon my victims.
Must keep my urges at bay;
Must creep up slowly behind them,
Then I can go home for the day.

The judge will look on me kindly,
When he hears about the special way -
I did it all to please her
Now can I go home for the day?"
( thegoose, quietly backs out of the room hoping no one noticed, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 18:07, archived)

yes you may go home
but I want to hear that marvellous ditty recorded and on my desk by 10am tomorrow with 15% of royalties going to Mykey
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 18:10, archived)

You may:)

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 18:10, archived)

ta
bye
( thegoose, quietly backs out of the room hoping no one noticed, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 18:11, archived)

i got paid today
what should i buy with my money?
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:41, archived)

me
[edit] damn, I didn't record the Doug Orgasmatone, dekazer did...
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:41, archived)

ok
*offers ten bob*
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:43, archived)

50p????
bloody cheapskate! and just how much do you think that'll get you?
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:45, archived)

enough
I'd imagine
:)
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:51, archived)

I'm not sure that's particularly complimentary
Mr Delaney
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:55, archived)

Vikki Spence
had no sense
sold herself for
fifty pence
:)
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:56, archived)

bah :P
at least Mr V tries to get a fiver for me
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:57, archived)

I sent our lass out to earn some cash one night
she came back with &6.50
"what bastard gave you 50p?" I asked

"why all of them" she replied
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:59, archived)

I suppose it's worth it in the end...
maybe when I'm feeling better though
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 18:00, archived)

Give it to me.
I am here to help.
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:42, archived)

a tent
then you could come on the great b3tan camping trip
if we ever get it organised
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:45, archived)

hoors and moors

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:46, archived)

drugs, beer and hookers.
specifically in that order.
( thegoose, quietly backs out of the room hoping no one noticed, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:47, archived)

hmm
almost right, i usually need beer before the drugs... or i'm too self conscious to take them.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:50, archived)

i'm too self she's too
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:52, archived)

Oh. My. God!
Kleeneze is the best catalogue in the world at the moment...
every sort of umbrella ou could possibly think of, including one that fits over your shoulder so that you can carry bags with both hands...
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:31, archived)

umperdoodles should be banned
you'll have somebody's eye out
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:33, archived)

Fucking astrologers!
news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050705/ap_on_fe_st/russia_comet_case
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:27, archived)

I thought it was going to be some sort of patent thing,
what a bunch of hippies
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:32, archived)

If I see her round here
I will deform more than her horoscope...

[edit] I will do very negative things to her aura.
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:32, archived)

You fucking faggot-munchers.
How the cunt are you doing?
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:21, archived)

ill :(
you?
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:25, archived)

I just found an album on my pooter I didn't realise I'd aquired,

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:26, archived)

What sort of person are you;
the sort who thinks I am great or the sort who is wrong?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:08, archived)

Hmmm
Right up until you asked that I though you were the shit. (This is a compliment in my house).

Now I think your all gay.
( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:10, archived)

I am the shit!
*dances and sings*
I am the shit!
I am the shit!
If you're looking for the shit,
I'm the shit that's it.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:13, archived)

:D
I'm going to walk down the street smiling now!

Night all xxxx
( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:18, archived)

G'nigit!

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:19, archived)

NN if you're still there :P

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:21, archived)

*smears*

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:19, archived)

I'm Spartacus.

( Randomgazz, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:11, archived)

I think your all grate cheese

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:12, archived)

I'm never wrong

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:13, archived)

I beg to differ
www.b3ta.com/talk/619210
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:24, archived)

I happen to believe I'm right there
her bum's probably much more pleasing to the touch than yours
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:27, archived)

Mine's the
moistest, though.
What do I win for that?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:30, archived)

a year's supply
of Nouvelle
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:30, archived)

but imagine both at the same time
; )
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:32, archived)

well
that's quite possibly the rudest thought I've ever had about the two of you

*goes for a lie down*
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:38, archived)

well, you never know
:)
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:39, archived)

it's not my favourite threesome position
but if you insist...
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:41, archived)

'ning you bedraggled crones
if anyone sees Teviot Moose, fondle his buttocks for me
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:51, archived)

dunno where he is
so can I fondle yours instead? though I bet your wifey's are a nicer handful
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:52, archived)

I'd say mine are more pert
:)
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:54, archived)

nah
you're too skinny :P
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:11, archived)

I could take offence at that
but I'm too much of a gentleman
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:21, archived)

it's true though
though you probably have a muscular bum rather than just a bony one. and you do have the prettiest feet.
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:25, archived)

I do
:)
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:28, archived)

and I have nice eyes
between that, your feet and Fenris's hands we could start building the perfect woman...
HMSK's norks
dekazer's hair
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:30, archived)

I am so going to hurt you...



nn all
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:35, archived)

promises promises
night night sweetie :)
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:38, archived)

I want to do the inside bits
please
( Dill, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:35, archived)

What are we now
your fucking buttock fondling bitches ?

Fondle your own fucking buttocks like all the normal people do in Woolworths.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:53, archived)

I thought that was Asda?

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:53, archived)

You're thinking of ASBO
you get one of those for bumwanking like a baboon in Boots.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:58, archived)

*fondles everyone*

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:53, archived)

even me?

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:54, archived)

Even
you.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:55, archived)

yay
*feels special*
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:14, archived)

Yay!
*feels you*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:18, archived)

*breaks arm*

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:54, archived)

You love it.
*fixes arms using a 'technique' and continues fondling*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:56, archived)

Technique my arse
you are in fact a mutant man-starfish creature from Venus and you just grew another fucking arm.

I saw you.

Pervert.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:58, archived)

Yay!
*wiggles arse*
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:55, archived)

*presents self for fondlage*

( Comma, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:57, archived)

More than happy
to oblige
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:59, archived)

GOD.

( Comma, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:03, archived)

Oui,
c'est moi.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:04, archived)

For some reason I misread that as fondue.
*puts away stick things*
( Randomgazz, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:00, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/619197
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:01, archived)

Gah,
Bizzare mind pissage.
( Randomgazz, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:03, archived)

Normally
I'd offer to pop in and grope him on my way home but a) I suspect he'd be most unsettled by it and b) I have exciting other things to do tonight :D
( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:56, archived)

Oooh.
What?
Can I come?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:57, archived)

My volunteer thing
and then birthday drinks for a pal.

And yes, if you can get to Edinburgh in the next 3 hours.
( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:00, archived)

Piece of piss.
Somewhere over Portsdown Hill, isn't it?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:03, archived)

Yes

( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:09, archived)

See you in a minute then.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 17:10, archived)

Die Hippy!
gblx.cache.el-mundo.net/elmundo/imagenes/2005/07/04/1120505496_g_0.jpg
(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:44, archived)

I read that as
"Die happy."
and thought you had gone bonkers.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:46, archived)

Its the new 'Das Boot'

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

don't kill him
take him to a dentist
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:46, archived)

Caption: Take that out of your mouth this instant, you could choke

( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:46, archived)

I can see
an English policeman in a norkhelmet there
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

you could lose a sausage up those nostrils

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:49, archived)

*lets loose man-sausuage right up the nostril*

I've had better......
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:51, archived)

Caption :
"Your all gay, your all gay, your all ..AKKKKK!!!!"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:50, archived)

A man I don't know

asked me what was wrong with my foot today.

I have no idea why, and before that there were some guys setting up a market stall and as I walked past one of them pointed and said 'It was her, she told me to do it' and then the other 2 blokes started laughing and looked at me, I think waiting for a reply...
( diffy maybs, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:33, archived)

A man I dont know
once asked me if I'd like to come to his house and see his puppies.

There are a lot of strange men in the world.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:34, archived)

he could've at least offered you some werthers as well

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:35, archived)

Or some hot hairy man cock
right up the wrong un
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:37, archived)

I wouldn't have settled for anything less than bumsex.

( Comma, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:37, archived)

I bet the day you're legal
you'll turn into a nun.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:38, archived)

And stick myself up people's cunts.

( Comma, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:39, archived)

nuns are allowed bumsex aren't they?

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:39, archived)

Are they allowed to ladywank?

( Comma, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:40, archived)

only with a crucifix

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:41, archived)

you're thinking of Catholic schoolgirls
and/or The Exorcist
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:42, archived)

all the time

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:44, archived)

And Fenris
and the queen.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:44, archived)

That'd make a good kids book

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:47, archived)

For bad kids

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:48, archived)

you should've run them over in your wheelchair

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:34, archived)

I have crutches
not a wheelchair, although I would like one right now...

crutches are hard to use!

Gotta be said, anyone wanna hold my crutch?

edit/ didnt have crutches when both these things happened
( diffy maybs, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:49, archived)

You have marker pen on your face.

( Comma, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:34, archived)

A girl I don't know smiled at me today.
I looked round, and checked my face for marker pen and everything, but no, she must just have been being nice.
( Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:38, archived)

Or it may have been the only outward sign
of her inwardly laughing at you
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:39, archived)

If the mirror you checked in was in the loo,
she was probably a bloke
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:41, archived)

And/or George Michael

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:44, archived)

Bad
foot
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:40, archived)

He is the father of your child
Which was the result of a 7 man strong gangbang out in the carpark of your local boozer after a night on the Aftershocks.

AICMFP
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:41, archived)

Where you there!?!?!?!?!

( diffy maybs, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:50, archived)

www.gettyimages.com
gives you a random image when you go to the front page. What the fuck is this?!:
www.ukdragon.com/b3ta/getty.jpg

As a bonus, i'll throw in a second (slightly lower quality) topic - the BBC needs a new "kids watching TV" source pic:
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3603235.stm
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4648243.stm
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3399811.stm
( Fergburger, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:22, archived)

RAINBOW PORN!

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:22, archived)

looks more like Rupert
than Bungle
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:29, archived)

but rupert is white
and doesn't have tits
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:30, archived)

I would
did, and loved it.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:24, archived)

Under that mask
she looks like your mum.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:25, archived)

Marry me.
You make me feel like this inside.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:29, archived)

the price of bacon's falling
I'm sorry, I'll get my coat
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:30, archived)

*gets your coat for you*
*throws it at you*
*sets fire to the coat*
*throws you into street*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:32, archived)

*lies naked in the street*

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:33, archived)

*takes advantage*
*forgives*
*invites back in*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:34, archived)

woohoo
*goes back in nakedly*
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:40, archived)

bah
I'd go mad without kids' tv
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:28, archived)

It would appear that you already have
You're talking like a sheep
( Fergburger, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:29, archived)

careful
or you'll feel the back of my hand
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:30, archived)

*feels*
*loves it*
( Fergburger, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:31, archived)

Cebeebies
is the only thing that we use freeview for.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:31, archived)

Hey hey!
Are you ready to play?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:33, archived)

*masturbates*
/obvious
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:35, archived)

Is it wrong to have bad thoughts about Fizz?

(random lurker 's procrastination society: "100years Motto Free", Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:42, archived)

CBeebies is the only thing I let my two watch
and we do tend to watch it together. we've also watched the Discovery channel a bit and music channels
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:34, archived)

Mine watches "Finding Nemo" and the songs of Jungle Book
at least 40 times a day.

But she does have very long and complex conversations about them
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:36, archived)

we also have the Singing Kettle
the Dark Crystal, the Muppet Show, Cinderella and the Rescuers. when those go on they're on all day repeatedly
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:38, archived)

It's very cute
to hear mine ask to watch "Mo-gi"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:40, archived)

Finding Nemo runtime = 100mins
100 x 40 = 4000 mins
4000 / 60 = 66.67 hours

Over 66 hours of films every day? Does she own a DeLorean by any chance?
( Fergburger, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:40, archived)

If there's one thing worse than a pedant
it's a pedant with a penchant for mathematics.

*bums with a thermos flask covered in vole jizz*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:41, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/619125

or alternatively:

www.b3ta.com/talk/619139
( Fergburger, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:43, archived)

Scripts that hollywood is planning to make!
A list of all the approved scripts for films.

Read them and weep.

www.scriptsales.com/ArchivesJune05.html

My favourite so far:

"Title: Randy and the Mob
Log Line: A good ol' boy lands in hot water with some low-life mobsters, and then must seek help from his estranged, identical twin brother who is gay. "
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:12, archived)

*lands in hot water with some low-life lobsters*

( Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:16, archived)

Some good ones there.
Death of Innocence
The Untouchables: Capone Rising
But: remake of The Hitcher. Oh fuck.
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:19, archived)

Computer games becoming films:
Max Payne and Hitman. Meh.

Edit: Ace! The Persuaders!
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:21, archived)

Vin Diesel as Agent 47?
It was meant to be Christian Bale!
( Fergburger, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:23, archived)

"Log line"!
Tee hee.

[edit: what a crock of shit - but at least the Max Payne movie is going to get made! I can just see the casting ads now: "Actor wanted for action role - must have constipation."]
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:20, archived)

The Brazilian Job
"Sequel to the Italian Job" Hardly. The original planned sequel was supposed to carry on from the cliff where the first one ended.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:28, archived)

2 hours
of Wahlberg having his crotch waxed? I'll pass, thanks.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:29, archived)

pass wank myself to death

you deserved that one you whore.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:32, archived)

True.
And with the thought of Wahlbergs hairless, shiny ring, begging to receive a shot of my overheated man gloop, I'm off home.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:33, archived)

YAY!
*jumps*
an Emily the STrange film - YAY!
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:31, archived)

I almost bought an Emily the Strange Epiphone SG-310
just because I liked the paint job. My girlfriend talked me out of it.

namm.harmony-central.com/WNAMM04/Content/Epiphone/PR/Emily-the-Strange-lg.jpg
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:32, archived)

My friend has one....
I want a drum kit with the same paint job, but they don't do one...
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:37, archived)

Oh I love our press
I was reading this article in a nice indignant local fashion, but all my seriousness was completely deflated by the line "At 9.20pm, riot police once again stormed the scene as gangs of drunken youths, many wearing hooded tops, began hurling glass bottles and bins at police."

My emphasis ;)
( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:06, archived)

"only letting customers out in short bursts"
that line is unbeatable.
( dr_fonz, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:10, archived)

Also, spot the mistake:
"Time and again, hundreds of anarchists confronted riot police as horrified tourists and office workers ran for cover. Police said they were confident most of the ring leaders had been caught as they arrested more than 100 protesters."
( Geordie Al, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:11, archived)

Haha!
*arrests entire population of world*
Yes, I'm confident I've caught the ringleaders...
( Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:14, archived)

I read an article re the "disturbances"
in the Indy this morning. There was something about them witnessing a gang tearing down a brick wall to get ammo to lob at the rozzers and a random passer by says "I'm 51 and I've never seen anything like this in Edinburgh" Apparently after giving them this quote, the random 51 year old then joined in tearing the wall down.

Jocks.

They are all fucking mental.

*hides*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:12, archived)

They obviouysly forgot some bits..
"The man, who was dressed head to toe in black, said, while grinning like a lunatic, 'I'm 51 and I've never seen anything like this in Edinburgh. Great isn't it!'"
( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:17, archived)

dressed from head to toe in black heavily tattooed and drinking Tennants super
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:20, archived)

you'll get such a slap :P

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:18, archived)

*presents*

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:19, archived)

*monocle falls into sherry*
Cripes, if only they'd throw rocks at McDonalds while wearing morning-dress and spats...
( Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:12, archived)

hmmm
Italian anarchist Ya Basta group

they've been watching Billy Connolly...
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:14, archived)

I made
that joke in my office, not an hour ago. They looked at me blankly.

Maybe it was the accent letting me down ;)
( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:20, archived)

You say "potato"
they say "Geis they fuckin chips pal !"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:28, archived)

you send us your dribbling drunks
we send you our dribbling toffs

it's a fair exchange
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:16, archived)

Can
anyone euggest a good digital camera for yearbook (people) photography?
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:03, archived)

X10

( dr_fonz, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:05, archived)

Canon EOS 1Ds Mark II
with an EF 135mm f2.0 L USM lens
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:13, archived)

hmm...
As nice as it looks, I doubt the school would give me £2349.99 for a camera
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:18, archived)

Where did you see that price?
The body alone was £5k last time I looked.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:32, archived)

www.waltersphotovideo.co.uk/
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:44, archived)

wrong camera
the 1Ds mk II is £4899.99

bugger

*puts credit card away*
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:49, archived)

right,
im going now. off to my hot date. very nervous. might let you know how it goes tomorrow, if i do not end up crying in the corner rocking back and forth*

*while wanking, obvisouly
( Jobe, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:58, archived)

Good luck!
I hope she's everything you ever dreamed of.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:59, archived)

ooh yes!
*crosses fingers*
( Jobe, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:01, archived)

Hahahahaha
marry me.

No, really.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:03, archived)

It's legal now
in Wigan.

If you're both over 120
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:06, archived)

And both
sets of parents give verbal consent.
( Geordie Al, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:15, archived)

sfw?

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:09, archived)

Yes,
but quality fwap material, nonetheless.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:16, archived)

Is your hot date a blind mong who can't smell?
If so, I think you're in there.
( Comma, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:00, archived)

If you're not in bed by midnight,
come home.
© my dad 1995
( Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:00, archived)

At 4pm?
You're doomed.

Only joking, you'll be fine - try and have a good time, and don't forget, you're there to vet her.
( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:00, archived)

"Carry on, dear...
you don't mind if I just take a few quick measurements, do you?"
( Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:01, archived)

what, by sticking his hand up her arse?
on a first date?
( Fergburger, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:03, archived)

Now that
was funny.
( Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:05, archived)

ta

( Fergburger, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:10, archived)

Well if
what Lu says is correct...
( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:08, archived)

If she says no
she probably means yes*

*Note: I am not a lawyer
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:00, archived)

*bears this in mind*
have good evenings everyone.
( Jobe, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:01, archived)

Worst website ever?
www.aiseikai.or.jp/

It's for a fucking hospital! Imagine how many patients they get with grand mal seizures just from looking at the site. Christ.
( Barry Chuckle III - the troll with a soul., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:36, archived)

Techno time!
*big fish*
*little fish*
*cardboard box*
( Comma, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

*lets the beat control his body*

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:52, archived)

Argh!
The waving cat wants my soul!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

Our Soul

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

Same to you.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:56, archived)

blimey

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

according
to that its had over 2 1/2 million visitors,wonder who many went into fits upon seeing that.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

Wonder if that's real?
Speaking of the Japanese... (NSFW)
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

that
is just so wrong on so many levels.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

How NSFW?

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:41, archived)

Beavershot.

(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

What is so wrong about a photo of a mammal that likes to build dams?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

that is so wrong
just wrong
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

What is it?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:44, archived)

a
silly bastard going around whipping up skirts and then pulling down underwear.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:45, archived)

More women should take my advice,
and kick more men in the crotch.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:47, archived)

just
not when im talking to them.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

You just don't want to pay
for this service anymore.
Dirty S&M pervert.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

Silly boy.
My 10lb lump hammer well fulfils my personal crotch-smashing needs.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:50, archived)

Oof.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

I have done this by accident
about three years ago.
I'm expecting to see the funny side in another decade or so.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:54, archived)

dozens of clips
of someone sneaking up behind Japanese girls, lifting their skirts (and in a couple of cases pulling down their trousers) and pulling their pants down. in the middle of the street.
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

Video
clips of sexual assault you mean? How charming.
( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

zackly

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:49, archived)

That's what I thought
And I'm normally very liberal.

If someone did that to my wife/daughter, I'd shove the fucking camera down their throat.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:50, archived)

down their throat up her mimsy

You'll miss me when I'm gone.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:51, archived)

Did someone type something here ?
I can only see pink lines...

*in the huff*

may be secretly distraught at your impending departure
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:01, archived)

If you put me on Ignore for that,
I'd say I got off lightly.

Judging by the number of poncey food posts today, you'll be hard pressed to notice when I'm gone.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:07, archived)

Drop me a mail
before you go.

*taps nose*
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:06, archived)

I'll have Dale Winton
air-lifted to Holland, especially for you.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:09, archived)

Agreed.
In fact, if someone did that to anyone and I knew who they were, I'd probably feel obliged to attack them.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:51, archived)

Being liberal
about sex tends to come with the caveat 'between CONSENTING ADULTS.

I'm as liberal as the next person but that isn't funny.
( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:56, archived)

Yes,
and western porn really is made by leaving a video camera in a college dorm and seeing what those real girls really get up to.
( Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:09, archived)

As you may remeber
I am not a fan of porn, (apart from that made my happy cheerful enthusiastic amateurs maybe), for precisely the reasons of exploitation and rather opaque issues around consent/choice.
( Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 16:11, archived)

You'd think that there'd
be a law against that sort of thing.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

I haven't clicked
but I imagine they're not real unsuspecting people.
( Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

↑
perceptive
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:54, archived)

I'd assume so too,
but you can't take any chances with the Japanese.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:58, archived)

Sneaky bastards, the Japs.
Bridge over the River Kwai an' that.
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:59, archived)

I believe it's possibly the one about sexual assault

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:54, archived)

I like how he gets better at it
as the tape goes on
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

This has very little
to do with anything.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

how gay that bed looks

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:50, archived)

And yet,
it turns you on, doesn't it.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:52, archived)

wellllllllll...
has anyone got a picture of a BLACK fender jaguar, with a RED scratchplate?

like this:

www.fenderjaguar.net/images/gallery/Brian/2.jpg

with this scratchplate:

www.fenderjaguar.net/images/gallery/Tom/1.jpg
('Andeh', Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

Hi there
I think you wanted www.b3ta.co.uk/guitars
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:22, archived)

that was funnier before you edited
6/10 for effort though
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

Check the status bar
it's still there I just fucked it up
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

Good work.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:26, archived)

We're the tag team of helpfulness.

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

*Gives high five*
*misses*
*looks around to make sure no one saw*
*walks away*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:28, archived)

I noticed it was still in the status bar

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:28, archived)

Is this
close enough?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:23, archived)

The pictures you look at make me teh fritened.

( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:26, archived)

You have
to have a hobby.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

what's wrong with tattyshop?

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

i cannae find two that look alike enough

('Andeh', Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

Can't you just flood fill the white scratch plate
from the first picture?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

itll look
POO
('Andeh', Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:31, archived)

Then beat it.
Beat it HARD.
( Geordie Al, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:35, archived)

You are Michael Jackson
AIFMFVHS
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

i say no
and so does google.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

No
but it wouldn't look very nice, would it?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

Cool, the second ones left handed.
In other news, no. Although I do have 3 classical guiatars, and a barely used 12-string.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

I also
have a barely-used 12-string. Shall we start a club?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:27, archived)

Ihave a mandolin (8 strings I believe)
that I taught myself 3 chords on in May and haven't done anything with since.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

You are the Irish Quo
AICMFP
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:32, archived)

The Weak & Bleeding Fingers Club?
Excellent.

I keep meaning to have mine adjusted (strings are too high above the fretboard), but then I remember that I can't play very well anyway. I only have it because my mum didn't want to buy me an electric (although it does make a lovely sound).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:30, archived)

I'm going to trade mine in
for an acoustic bass, I think.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:31, archived)

I've always wanted to know what they sound like.
I didn't think they existed last year until I was killing some time in the music department of Selfridges one lunch time last summer.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:33, archived)

They sound great
warm and vibrant*. Not so much sustain, but you can do most of what you'd do on a normal bass.

*insert 'humour' here.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

there's nothing "normal" about bass guitar

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

Do you mind?
I was talking fishmongery.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:44, archived)

they can sound rather scratchy and thin. not nice and tight and boomy like electric basses, or double basses.

that might have been only the ones i've playe though.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:40, archived)

I'll take it off your hands if you like.
The quality of dust it would collect here is much better.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:31, archived)

Sentimental old twit that I am,
I'll probably not sell it.

Actually, it might have to go during the move, so that would be a good opportunity. Wait and see.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:35, archived)

No but
www.harmonycentral.com has all the guitar info I've ever needed. Perhaps you could try their forums. They would be a lot more helpful. Just out of interest, why?
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

i think it'd look nice

('Andeh', Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:33, archived)

You are free to go about your business then.

( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:35, archived)

I'm full of nectarines.

( Comma, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:20, archived)

being
a member of the conservative party thats not exactly surprising, just make sure you remove them from your arse and wash them this time before putting them back in the fruit bowl.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:21, archived)

Going to pop them all out like
a Thai prostitute would ping-pong balls?
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:21, archived)

They're kind of corroded by stomach acid by now,
so that might be a bit gooey.
( Comma, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:22, archived)

a Thai Prostitute would ping-pong balls Tubgirl
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

Whereas
I quite fancy watching the Italian Job when I get in.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

http://earth.google.com/
Sorry if it's GC, but I think I can take your rude, yet witty remarks.
( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:08, archived)

worldwind.arc.nasa.gov/
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

narnia.wardrobe.gov/
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

Can I play
too?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

What's it really like?
Awe inspiring? Or a bit cack?
( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

fairly good, it can show mappings other than photographic, but in some modes, only for parts of the US.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:15, archived)

Groovy!
I've just ordered a Nokia 5140i for the lack of anything else that took my fancy and apparently you can get a GPS enabled cover for it which sounds pretty cool. Especially as I may be riding to Bulgaria next year :)
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:12, archived)

to uncle
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:18, archived)

Womble Porn!
Hoorah.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:19, archived)

that wouldn't run on my PC

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:13, archived)

That's ace. I downloaded that the other day
and spent about 3 hours searching for maps of Peru to see if I could find Machu Picchu. I never did find it but my house is on there. Strangely there are entire towns missing. I couldn't find large sections of Oldham.

edit: Turn the buildings option on and look at any of the American cities, New York is cool.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:13, archived)

no fair
I wanna play with it and look at stuff like that
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/618948
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:23, archived)

I don't have 2Gb of free space

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:26, archived)

I guess it will take a while to upload
the whole world onto it.
( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

nah
i keep being told isnt the world a small place.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:19, archived)

That's probably a good thing

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:21, archived)

bah!
they've suspended downloads
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:16, archived)

http://desktop.google.com/download/earth/GoogleEarth.exe
mwaha
('Andeh', Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

i did this a couple of weeks ago
and everyone told me to cock off.

This is the third time I've mentioned it.

It does rock, though.
(trumpet, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

The BBC are doing
swear words. Sample:

"The c-word... The word has Germanic cognates including old Norse (kunta), middle-Dutch (Kunte) and possibly High German (Kotze meaning prostitute), which all point to a pre-historic germanic ancestor kunton."
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

That's been up for ages....
There's also how to make an atom bomb in the same site too.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:46, archived)

I'd not seen that before
and am reading it in-depth. fantastic to see the word "knobcheese" on the Beeb Beeb Ceeb
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:02, archived)

better to see
actual knobcheese surely?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:04, archived)

I'm so glad
I don't have a scratch 'n' sniff monitor
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

that's why I said "see"
rather than "smell"

and it wasn't an offer :P
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:13, archived)

just make sure you wash
before coming out to the pub with us next week :P
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:15, archived)

how dare you madam
my underpant hygine is of impeccable standards... I even washed them last week...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:24, archived)

was it your birthday?

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:29, archived)

nope
that's the second wash of the year...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:31, archived)

And
'horse-cunny'.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:08, archived)

"Swear-words that do not pertain to body parts invariably refer to bodily functions or secretions. It's true to say that the first swear-words most children learn are scatological, focusing on urination ('wee-wee') or excretion ('plop', 'poo'). As we get older, though sexual swear-words tend to predominate, there is still a resistance to progressing beyond what Freud described as the 'anal phase'."
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:08, archived)

indeed

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

Most swearwords in Dutch
are disease-related. Toilet humour still rules, though.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:10, archived)

Three toilets walked into a bar...
?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:16, archived)