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# As if by magic...
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:03, archived)
# Yay!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:14, archived)
# haha
amezzin'!

(only 13 episodes ever made of Mr Benn..)
(CjR Mix, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:34, archived)
# Hahahahahahaha!!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:38, archived)
[challenge entry] Think very different.
(I helped save b3ta! partyboy. Sick, and proud of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:53, archived)
# lolcringe!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:59, archived)
# julien assange has had a bit of work done hasn't he.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:59, archived)
# oh dear
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:00, archived)
# Hahahahaha yay!
I love how everyone's desperate to damn him as insane, when in fact he seems absolutely lucid and his plans by all accounts are thought-through, and mentally, philisophically and politically roundly argued and justified.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:00, archived)
# and copied from the unabomber and a variety of british newspapers
i heard that bomb go off. i've not been into the centre of town since -- no point at the weekend because it was being patrolled by soldiers and police and everything was shut, and then i've been at work since. but it smashed windows hundreds of metres away. it's changed the feeling of the city quite a bit, and the failings of the norwegian police don't fill anyone with confidence when they say he "acted alone".
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:05, archived)
# Yes - I'm not doubting his apparent laziness or lack of wit.
I'm merely interested to note that the "nutcase" thing doesn't seem to be sticking to him very well, and it's discourse is more indicative of the fear he's generated than of his mental state, I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:09, archived)
# oh i agree with you
i don't think he's insane at all - not that way. i think he's unhinged, but i don't think he's lost his reason. i just wish the police had had the sense of mind to kneecap the cunt on the island before they arrested him.

i guess i was making a general comment to let off some steam. it's been a stressful kind of week all in all...
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:11, archived)
# I'm sure it has, and I wish my best for a speedy recovery for all involved. It must be a horrendous experience.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:12, archived)
# Particularly for Norway
They're totally unprepared for anything like this. For me it brings back a lot of memories from when I was young, sitting watching telly and seeing more news about the IRA. That doesn't make it any less unpleasant, of course.

The media in Britain are reporting that he'll only get 21 years, btw. That's not entirely true. He'll get 21 years... plus a recommendation that it be renewed in 5 year blocks if the judge feels it's warranted. With this guy, I think we can guarantee that they will.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:23, archived)
# Yeah - but that's like saying that Hitler had..
...some radical social and economic policies that were way ahead of there time - and he did, but he was ultimately a mass murdering fuckhead (to quote Eddie Izzard)

Have I just invoked godwins law?
(I helped save b3ta! partyboy. Sick, and proud of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:08, archived)
# See above - my point is that he's clearly not nuts.
He is actually a "different thinker".
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:11, archived)
# I agree
(I helped save b3ta! partyboy. Sick, and proud of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:20, archived)
# I'm guessing they won't be using that phrase in court.
/two penneth
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:21, archived)
# They also won't be calling him "insane" if they can get away with it
The law changes when you do that, and people here want justice. A peculiarly open, Norwegian form of justice, but justice nonetheless. An insanity charge would leave everyone feeling very robbed. His lawyer's entering it because there's nothing else he can do.

I actually feel sorry for the lawyer. He's got nothing to do with any of it, and is bewildered at why Breivik specifically chose him, and he's actually of the Labour party in the first place. And suddenly, because justice demands that everyone has the right to be defended, he's got to defend someone I'd guess he'd love to convict -- and at the same time face criticism and abuse from people asking why he's doing it.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:25, archived)
# It's loose - loose for that lawyer
(I helped save b3ta! partyboy. Sick, and proud of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:28, archived)
# Yes I thought this - feel very sorry for the lawyer (who also looks like he's perhaps the coolest man on the planet bar me).
That he's from the Labour Party is clearly important to Breivik - the whole thing is all a bit Se7en in it's planning.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:30, archived)
# Yeah, it seems a bit that way
He did spend years sitting around planning it.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:36, archived)
# Oh Noes!111!!11!!one eleven11!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! partyboy. Sick, and proud of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:27, archived)
# I'm glad that made as much sense as it did.
Less so that it made none at all.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:53, archived)
# who did Hitler murder?
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:48, archived)
# Say what you like about Hitler
you have to give him his dues.

/so going to Hull for that one
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:52, archived)
# Funny you should mention Hitler.
Only Glenn Beck (now ex of Fox News) could look at a situation where a right-wing Aryan fascist goes on a European murder spree and compare the victims to Hitler...
I think this guy puts it best: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iljva1EoVzc apart from following a great rant with a lengthy plug for a DVD of some of his favourite rants...
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:55, archived)
# If he's declared insane, they get to lock him up for longer.
Otherwise they might have to let him out again after 21 years.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:20, archived)
# Nah
I don't imagine any judge would do that. There's the option to renew in five-year blocks and I can't see any judge, even in 21 years, not going for it. This guy is never getting out of prison.

(Actually I'm not going to be surprised to hear of a "suicide" in a few months' time.)
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:27, archived)
# My favourite article on him so far is this:
www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jul/27/breivik-anti-feminism

Only in the Guardian could they write a whole article about the "chilling" "anti-feminist" tone of his manifesto. He may have shot a whole load of children in the face, but worse than that, he wrote some shit about feminists on the internet, the bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:32, archived)
# Hahaha
I love the Guardian. It's like the Daily Mail for the politically-correct.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:58, archived)
# That's exactly what it is.
Read by opinionated people wanting their opinions echoed.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 12:09, archived)
[challenge entry] Pea for the compo: Face Time...
(I helped save b3ta! Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:35, archived)
[challenge entry] Because she's not worth it


Click for bigger (40 kb)
(CjR Mix, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:52, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:56, archived)
# \o/!
(CjR Mix, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:56, archived)
# Homer Simpsons make-up gun?
(I helped save b3ta! partyboy. Sick, and proud of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:58, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:00, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:00, archived)
# \o/
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:00, archived)
[challenge entry] Also - P4theC


(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:03, archived)
# Yes.
Oh Yes.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:37, archived)
[challenge entry] quick and................


Click for bigger (71 kb)
(I helped save b3ta! bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:48, archived)
# Where do I sign up?
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:48, archived)
# ^
I have the Decepticon insignia already
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:56, archived)
# Please tell me it's not a tattoo
But the stick-on hologram that you glue onto your chest every morning!
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:58, archived)
# Its a stick-on hologram that I glue onto my chest every morning
...




it's a tattoo really
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:59, archived)
# oh....
should I have made this more Autobot/Decepticon specific?
(I helped save b3ta! bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:02, archived)
# Do Megatron with a moustache and a pointy finger
THE DECEPTICONS NEED YOU!
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:24, archived)
[challenge entry] I know - "shopped" images only, etc.


Click for bigger (279 kb)

I had this idea last night, just completed it - failed to check that it had already been done. :(
(CjR Mix, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:42, archived)
# Very nicely done.
:D

(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:44, archived)
# Frighteningly well shopped
but tragically, bindun!

Also - would!
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:44, archived)
# gotta be faster round these parts :)

nicely done though
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:46, archived)
# Much nicer than mine! Luverlee potatoshopping! =)
(I helped save b3ta! addickted has attained freedom, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:51, archived)
# cheers mate :)
Should have realised this idea was gagging to be jumped all over! :)
(CjR Mix, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:54, archived)
# Annoyingly my screen is burning out so I couldn't see half of what I was doing, hence the large areas of shittiness!
*put new monitor on Christmas list*
(I helped save b3ta! addickted has attained freedom, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:14, archived)
# Really well done!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:52, archived)
# Superb shop sir!!!!
*Click* :)
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:39, archived)
# Very nice shoppery!
I like the "A Con" too
(I helped save b3ta! Q4nobody, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 12:20, archived)
# Still fitter than Madonna.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 15:50, archived)
# Fucking excellent.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 22:06, archived)
[challenge entry] as if our country needs these


Click for bigger (28 kb)
(grotpig, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:42, archived)
# That went well.
(Harpo Marxism Do not swim when sick with diarrhea, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:24, archived)
# your cuntry neds youse
(I helped save b3ta! Clueless Egg Cunt ...of course i'm beach ready!, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:52, archived)
[challenge entry] First attempt...
(QuadratischPraktischGut There was coffee. Life would go on., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:40, archived)
# Added the wrong pic... Fixed
(QuadratischPraktischGut There was coffee. Life would go on., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 12:16, archived)
# ris?
(I helped save b3ta! The_Commander_of_Skips wears his sunglasses at night, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 22:43, archived)
[challenge entry] Splash it all over...

(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:30, archived)
# *bokes*
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:31, archived)
# eau de éjaculer
(I helped save b3ta! Bentley T. Coon miles and miles of piles, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:32, archived)
# London Underground here we come...
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:32, archived)
# On the Northern Line too
perfect!
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:33, archived)
[challenge entry] Lush.
Mind if I pea here?

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:32, archived)
# It's a boon!
(I helped save b3ta! Bentley T. Coon miles and miles of piles, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:33, archived)
# Hahahahaha
"Have I said 'It's a boon!' yet? It's a boon!" Mrs T, Essex.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:02, archived)
# Thanks for that...
I have just thrown up in my coffee!
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:36, archived)
# O_O
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:40, archived)
# i never realised rebekahakakakakakakakaka brooks was that hairy.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:59, archived)
# Time for a mid-day wank!
(I helped save b3ta! flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 12:26, archived)
# Hahahahahahaaaaaa
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 22:05, archived)
# Poor hom :(
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 30 Jul 2011, 14:55, archived)
# What has been seen
cannot be unseen
(rogerzilla, Sat 30 Jul 2011, 19:47, archived)
[challenge entry]
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:20, archived)
# I find it amusing that the ultimate hipster company (Apple) doesn't advertise with Helvetica
They use Myriad.
(I helped save b3ta! Bentley T. Coon miles and miles of piles, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:22, archived)
# That's Arial
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:24, archived)
# Arial is the best font ever
Helevetica reeks of Macs
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:46, archived)
# ^ this x1000
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:57, archived)
# Nicorette octagon!
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:24, archived)
# mmm, tasty tasty helvetica
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:29, archived)
# Arf!
:D

(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:31, archived)
# Helvetica...
Helvetica...
Helvetica, FUCK YEAH!
Coming again, to save the mother fucking day yeah
Helvetica, FUCK YEAH!
Sans Serif is the only way yeah
Comic Sans your game is through cause now you have to answer to
Helvetica, FUCK YEAH!
So lick my weight and suck on my metrics
Helvetica, FUCK YEAH!
What you going to do when we come for you now
it’s the dream that we all share; it’s the hope for profits
FUCK YEAH!
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:31, archived)
# I like this.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:33, archived)
# what ever
i'm all about Helvetica Neue.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:19, archived)
# needs moar text-shadow
(I helped save b3ta! Clueless Egg Cunt ...of course i'm beach ready!, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:54, archived)
# I dun a arts
Biggerer version here if you click the download linky:
cghub.com/images/view/152482/

(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:19, archived)
# Gorgeous
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:20, archived)
# reminds me of a beach in Portugal
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:21, archived)
# that is fantastic! *click!!*
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:22, archived)
# That's bloody lovely
Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! BrassMonkey PRUNES ARE PLUMS! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:22, archived)
# ^ Sandy Shore
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:23, archived)
# Can't be
she's got shoes on
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:29, archived)
# Superb, as ever
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:24, archived)
# Yep. Lovely.
:D

(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:32, archived)
# This needs
an "I like this a lot" button, on which I would click.
(MrCanoehead Marzipaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 12:54, archived)
# oh my
I'm in love. I didn't think you could top retro tv girl but you did it

that's so evocative
(I helped save b3ta! Clay hopes this bit is long enough to promote my websi, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 17:14, archived)
# It's a gud arts
I appreciate it.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 18:49, archived)
# Wonderful.
(and saved)
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 18:54, archived)
# Great stuff...
Edit: clx attached
(I helped save b3ta! Mex3 =mememe, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 18:57, archived)
# Stunning
and beautiful.

O_O
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 21:07, archived)
# top notch fella
very good
(I helped save b3ta! --- ---, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 21:20, archived)
# Help us choose the new Question of the Week
Vote closes once I escape from a morning of meetings...

Porn - Ronseal

Money Well Spent - Subby bought some £25 hair trimmers and reckons he's saved thousands on hair cuts. What's your best value purchase?

Conspicuous Consumption - Have you ever sat on a balcony eating a croissant? What's the most ostentatious thing you ever seen or done?

Sporting Disasters - "The Olympricks" does not a funny answer make

Mini poll bar
Mini poll bar
Mini poll bar
Mini poll bar
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:55, archived)
# Porn will just be
omg i once saw this video in amsterdam of a woman sucking off horse! lol!!!!

and links to goatse and two girls.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:57, archived)
# And conspicuous consumption will just be "I once sucked off a horse"
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:59, archived)
# Hahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:02, archived)
# Sporting disasters will be equestrian based too
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:12, archived)
# Whatever question wins
I'm totally telling a story about horse fellatio.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:18, archived)
# And the next Image Challenge:
Seamhorse fellatio.
(MrCanoehead Marzipaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 12:56, archived)
# i was just tieing my shoelace at beechers brook
when a horse jumped the fence and entered me from behind.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:19, archived)
# I hope to god
the going was soft
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:25, archived)
# Interesting
There are 2 votes for Porn and 3 for Conspicuous Consumption, so why does Porn have a longer one?

Fnarff fnarff
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:58, archived)
# That's because
...porn comes with its own fluffer
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:59, archived)
# Can I change my vote from Sporting Disasters to Conspicuous Consumption
I didn't take time to consider tactical voting.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:14, archived)
# damn, it's rebalanced itself now
i was hoping you'd made sure porn would always have the biggest bar no matter what won
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:01, archived)
# That's what she said.
"She" being the Actress, and she said it to the Bishop.
(MrCanoehead Marzipaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 12:57, archived)
# Pah
my hair trimmers cost me a tenner

still working after twelve years
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:59, archived)
# ...
Porn - How many stories will that generate? Not promising.
Money Well Spent - Has potential, though perhaps invites OMG MASSIVE DRUGS posts. And Rachelswipe talking about her holidays.
Conspicuous Consumption - A week of internet jealousy. And Rachelswipe talking about her holidays.
Sporting Disasters - Bindun... though a while ago, admittedly.

Sporting disasters it is. Unless we can have a hybrid of the money and consumption ones.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:01, archived)
# Combine the first two
or the middle two
or the first and last.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:11, archived)
# "This one time I was watching my mate's older sister play tennis in a short dress...
and when she scratched an itch between serves, I SAW HER BARE BOTTOM!!!!!!!"
Is that what you want... cos that's what'll happen.
(sarcastic fringehead feet of clay, buns of steel, head of lettuce, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 12:54, archived)
# I really don't see the difference between sporting disasters and LOLdrugz stories
Both are tales of people taking risks with their health to enjoy themselves.

I'm always hearing about the cost of drugs to the NHS, yet most people I know who have been to hospital lately have fucked themselves up playing some flavour of sportball.

I think I'd prefer to hear drugs stories.
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:24, archived)
# How about a compromise?
Conspicuous consumption of porn, purchased economically in sporting venues.
(I helped save b3ta! prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:06, archived)
# I like the money well spent one
We might get some interesting anecdotes and stories, compared to porn (people describing porn is dull - have you ever phoned a wankline?), while sporting disasters is a bit select - not many people have had them.
(McChinaman banned, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:07, archived)
# Not on here, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:30, archived)
# Can I have £20000 please?
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:08, archived)
# Yes.
But you have to go back in time and stop making rape jokes.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:10, archived)
# Conspicuous Consumption

because I like close races
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:14, archived)
# Re: Number 3
Didn't Nicole Kidman have conspicuous consumption in Moulin Rouge?
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:18, archived)
# porn will be shit
(I'm not calling you all scat freaks)

(I'm implying it)
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:19, archived)
# Sporting disasters or Consumption, I think...
Porn will just be "I almost got caught watching..." or "how we used to steal porn mags from the news agent" lies...

Money well spent could be alright, so long as it's not a week of "I spent £2000 on alcohol and drank it all in one night - best time evah!!11!!" and all that crap.
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:19, archived)
# The punchline
to 60% of the porn stories will be, "And then I realised that my mum had come in with a cup of tea..."


Probably.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:22, archived)
# Similar to Yoda, why do these questions frequently sound?
And 'aromatic necks' gets my vote.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:22, archived)
# If we did "Aromatic Necks"
...the site will fill up with Deirdre Barlow stories. Is that what you want?
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:23, archived)
# I just realised you can vote every 30 minutes.
I might vote thrice. This being a democracy and all.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:33, archived)
# Thrice a lady?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:36, archived)
[challenge entry] I found this...
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:39, archived)
# Hehe
I'm fast getting to like that strapline "It's Fannytastic"... so many applications...

*Click*
(I helped save b3ta! LunanLad WARNING: I Contain Nuts, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:46, archived)
# hahahaha, i'd buy it
...oh wait...
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:46, archived)
# from the makers of mimsy mufflers
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:03, archived)
# Yes!
Er...hang on, wait, watch where you're pointing that thing
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:05, archived)
# Bang! And the cock is gone.
Hallo Ninj!
:D

(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:39, archived)
# Hai Moleypoo!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:39, archived)
[challenge entry] Here's the other one I made.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:39, archived)
# pffffft
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:45, archived)
# neck sounds great
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:23, archived)
# ARRF!
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:33, archived)
[challenge entry] erm.....


Click for bigger (60 kb)
(I helped save b3ta! bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:16, archived)
# I for one love this new take on comic sans
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:19, archived)
# african bum disease?
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:32, archived)
# yeah i heard that skill meant that too years ago
i'm dubious though
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:25, archived)
# I thought it was something to do with Camels cocks?
could be wrong though
(I helped save b3ta! bigmeuprudeboy is using powerpoint or paint...have MERCY, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:29, archived)
[challenge entry] DO IT!
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:06, archived)
# An ad for B3TA?
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:16, archived)
# ok!
(I helped save b3ta! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:25, archived)
[challenge entry] I'm sure it happened once.
(I helped save b3ta! geekchic, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:04, archived)
# i never have any issues with the choob
but then i dont rely on it every day.

Its annoying when they mong half the lines up for repairs on a bank holiday though
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:19, archived)
# BCCDHJMNPVWDO....
* I don't get it?
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:30, archived)
[challenge entry] Owlreo


Click for bigger (150 kb)
(rogermexico Ah, c'est moi! Je m'ai fait peur!, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:54, archived)
# ...
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:56, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:57, archived)
#
*titters
(I helped save b3ta! Chumps 👀, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:04, archived)
# excellent font matching
but American biscuits can get to fuck
(I helped save b3ta! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:04, archived)
# Having tried an Oreo recently, I've come to the conclusion that Americans don't have biscuits, they have 'Sugar Cakes'
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:05, archived)
# we already perfected the biscuit long ago with the chocolate hobnob
(I helped save b3ta! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:10, archived)
# I saw how they're made on one of those 'How Do They Do It' shows on cable
they're basically pressed play-do made of coloured carbs that's been mildy heated till it sets, not actually baked at all.

Kinda weird...
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:10, archived)
# They're cookies
You don't like it. I don't like it. But they invented them, so they get to choose.
(I helped save b3ta! Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:06, archived)
# did they bollocks biscuits were around before America was discovered
and we invented the language so they're called biscuits :P
(I helped save b3ta! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:13, archived)
# Yep
Otherwise they'd be called biskits or some other lazy-arsed spelling of it.
(I helped save b3ta! eXOBeX, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:16, archived)
# I agree Britain is the Biscuit Nation
we have the widest and most glorious collection of biscuits to suit all tastes and Oreos are dire flavourless things.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:14, archived)
# Fox's Chunkie milk chocolate cookies
They were on offer in Tesco a few weeks back (quid a pack) and Co-op shortly afterwards. Om nom nom indeed!
(I helped save b3ta! eXOBeX, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:18, archived)
# Oh yes that sounds very Om nomnomnom
I also like Fox's Ginger/Golden Crunch
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:21, archived)
[challenge entry] Ronseal
(I helped save b3ta! dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:50, archived)
# I'm not reading that one
Looks a bit crap to be honest. Like Peter and Jane but without the pictures.
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:52, archived)
# Then
I have failed.
(I helped save b3ta! dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:59, archived)
# In fairness
It does look like I've read the whole thing already :D
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:05, archived)
# I would've done, but I kept losing my page.
(I helped save b3ta! Chumps 👀, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:07, archived)
[challenge entry] Big fat topical chinny reckon...


De-Ris

*FP! I'd like to thank everyone but spesh Julia Robetrs for making this retouch possible by looking like a tramps sleeping bag before post production.
(I helped save b3ta! addickted has attained freedom, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:32, archived)
# *proper living room lols*
Excellent stuffs :D
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:37, archived)
# Woo!
Reminds me of www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/2011-comic-con-cosplay-winner
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:44, archived)
# Yikes!
Did you check her blogsite? which lead me to this amazing thing !
(I helped save b3ta! tubaman, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:52, archived)
# she's nice but she's no alisa chan.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:32, archived)
# Sadly accurate, but...
... this is how an actual "touch-up"* professional did it - makeupmag.com/issues/id/562/

The real photograph is the one on the right, and the de-ageing was done by Amy Dresser who does do this kind of thing for a living. The article (sadly not available online) had some other astounding adjustments.

* - "touch-up" - pffft!
(I helped save b3ta! Skotzmun Blah blah secret passage blah blah diamonds., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:54, archived)
# Unfortunately, I work for a company that does a lot of L'Oreal/Lancome advertising...
The sad truth of some of the projects I work on is that they have a disgraceful amount of retouching done. On the flip side, everyone knows this so it just makes them look like prize bell-ends!

(I helped save b3ta! addickted has attained freedom, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:59, archived)
# I'm loving all the disclaimers our ads are obliged to put up
esp the ones for eyelash make-up, which basically flash up 'This ad is a load of CGI bollocks' under every one.

Also that one for a toothpaste where a guy shines a magical light at the woman's teeth and surprisingly it tells him she needs to buy his product!

'Dramatisation, we may have been watching CSI!'
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:07, archived)
# I don't know what everyone's getting so excited about.
It's happened since Year Dot. If you paint a portrait of the king, you'd better make sure he's handsome, or you'll find yourself six inches shorter. If you're Stalin's photographer, then you'd better make sure you take two shots and keep the originals in case he falls out with someone.

Adverts don't tell the truth - who knew?

It strikes me as little people complaining that it's all so unfair.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:18, archived)
# It's good that folks are made aware of it tho
and it would be better if we curbed it a bit when dealing with age-defying beautifying expensive BS goo.

Some folks are actually ruining their face by applying too much product, desperate to stay as perfect as the images they see all around them, instead ending up saggy faced orange nightmares.

I'm wondering when the shit may hit the fan over the motion-enabled equivalents that all celebs and actors are using in their vids and films now, I mean have you SEEN Madonna's vids lately compared to how she looks in interview or untouched paparazzi shots, sometimes I have to wonder if there's even any part of her onscreen anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:30, archived)
# I can't claim to have watched a Madonna video since Justify My Love, I'm afraid, but I've seen some of the pap shots of her in the paper.
Those arms give me the fearhorn.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:33, archived)
# TBH I'm not even sure she's still producing anything anymore
but the last one I saw was so adjusted she looked like a mannequin, uncanny valley big style...
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:43, archived)
# Nice
:)
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:58, archived)
# I shan't be buying that it did nothing to her neck
and I don't think I would like to go out with a big "Before/After" tag floating below my chin I'll stick to the bags and wrinkles I've earnt them ;)
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:02, archived)
# I dunno
I think some before and after tags would really bring out your eyes :)
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:05, archived)
# My private eye collection is my own and I shan't be bringing them out for people to look at ;)
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:08, archived)
# Curses! Foiled again!
I'll have to come up with another nefarious scheme to get my hands on your precious, precious Private Eyes.
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:16, archived)
# Very nice! :)
Wonderfully excecuted!
(CjR Mix, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 10:55, archived)
# fantastic
and would.
(I helped save b3ta! slartifartfast When all around are losing their heads, duck., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:08, archived)
# Chinny reckon!
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 22:15, archived)
# ha ha - fantastic!
(I helped save b3ta! lord bofingham, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:28, archived)
# Gotta have bindun....
Probably with more talent...

(I helped save b3ta! Jonoton, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:12, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:58, archived)
# I grew out of conspiracy theories very quickly, but this one is very plausible, I think.
How much would it have cost to bomb Oslo? £10m?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:20, archived)
# oh yeah
never thought about that, hahaha
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:32, archived)
[challenge entry] i don't really understand his compo
(I helped save b3ta! sock more tea vicar?, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:09, archived)
# well, it's an advert, and it's fake (I think)--you're in! ;p
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:12, archived)
# ok thanks!
(I helped save b3ta! sock more tea vicar?, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:13, archived)
[challenge entry] Or me.
Have a cheeky cheesy pea.


Click for bigger (178 kb)

'Ning everyone
(I helped save b3ta! Chumps 👀, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 8:18, archived)
# loving this!
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:35, archived)
# BEST IMAGE EVER!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 11:40, archived)

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