I fucking hate the whiny little cunt in this advert. Time for teddy's revenge, I thought. Took me a bastard long time on MS Paint without a mouse too. I lives in the dark ages. Enjoy though.
(Fray Brentos*mega-belms*,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:14,
archived)
I'm not familiar with the original ad
so we have a Viennese situation here I'm afraid
(Photoshop Bitch2014 edition,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:18,
archived)
(Fray Brentos*mega-belms*,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:20,
archived)
I only watch the good stuff like Britains Got Talent or Louis Theroux interviewing failed porn stars
but I watch it on the web where I don't have to worry about ad breaks. Ta for the link. Edit: Oh that's lovely, it's actually brought me close to tears.
(Photoshop Bitch2014 edition,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:26,
archived)
i saw that louis theroux thing on the listings
decided to watch hislop getting a text on hignfy instead.
(polished turd404 pixels wide,
Tue 12 Jun 2012, 0:23,
archived)
(Bourbon FoxBourbon is a moron,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:31,
archived)
Thanks, Jahled!
The long weeks of animation paid off!
(Jabberwocmisses D.R. and Quinch,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:32,
archived)
These awards aren't awarded lightly you know
I had to phone up a few members on the executive committee before the decision was made. Someone was in the Dorchester having supper with the head of the IMF, which was quite embarrassing
(JahledThree shades of black,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:45,
archived)
fuck, you know you are talking about the untouchably wealthy when they are fucking served IMF head for dinner.
(discomeatsThis canoe,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:59,
archived)
that's why we want to see it, man
(discomeatsThis canoe,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:50,
archived)
^
(Bourbon FoxBourbon is a moron,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:56,
archived)
Yes, thankyou, Jahled.
It really is an honour. I've placed it in the trophy cabinet on my profile under lock and key already.
I do hope I haven't jeopardized your chances at the Lodge because of the Dorchester "head" incident?
(Jabberwocmisses D.R. and Quinch,
Tue 12 Jun 2012, 0:08,
archived)
Oh, and thankyou
for the biscuit.
I had a custard cream.
(Jabberwocmisses D.R. and Quinch,
Tue 12 Jun 2012, 0:09,
archived)
what fillum is it?
please?
(teasuslikes tea,
Tue 12 Jun 2012, 9:25,
archived)
The Godfather Part VI: Mafioso Cyberfuck
(Photoshop Bitch2014 edition,
Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:17,
archived)
Captain Ultra
(JahledThree shades of black,
Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:48,
archived)
coooool
(atomicA-bomb-a-nation,
Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:00,
archived)
the strobey / vibratey nature of the grass and mister chestburster amuses me
I don't like saying, "I write romance." Goo is better (and more descriptive of the juices).
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:44,
archived)
I'm writing a short story I'll probably turn into a zine series one day
derived from anecdotes I write in my sketchbook from time to time.
(Bourbon FoxBourbon is a moron,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:46,
archived)
Oooh.
If you ever need someone to be a beta reader, feel free to gaz me :)
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:48,
archived)
I may very well do :D
The way it looks now, it cuts from first person anecdotes to traditional speech bubbles quite a bit. Might have to sort that out, so it's not too distracting.
(Bourbon FoxBourbon is a moron,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:04,
archived)
Yes
I enjoy getting pedantic about that sort of thing.
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:15,
archived)
Or leave it as it is and just say it's your style.
But it is by no means a bad thing. I'm thinking of cutting it down a bit though.
(Bourbon FoxBourbon is a moron,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:45,
archived)
If you've never read Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast Of Champions
It might make you feel a little better about playing fast and loose with style. It's really fun to read psycho jumpy stuff where you honestly don't know what the author will do next.
(Smoked OystersYes, magick helmet! And I will give you a sample!,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:33,
archived)
NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU FOXWORTH!
I'm trying to talk to the nice lady about orifices.
I am quite tempted now. "Hey, baby, you smell just like my mum's bathroom!" *She groans* "I thought it would remind you of your teenage years." "Yeah, and your pubes are now blonde like hers too!"
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:51,
archived)
Ten points if you get in the line "Toilet duck! Oh baby... how did you know?"
Edit: also, getting a brand name like that into a fantasy genre book is going to be challenging. Maybe if there was a lemon-scented pet duck which lived in the bathroom... But the heroine would still have to rub herself on it. Could be considered animal cruelty.
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:55,
archived)
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:29,
archived)
Lets just say we had some issues when I did the first London bash.
It involved what Mu said outside a café at 8am, falling asleep propping my front door open (I live at work)and then passing out in the middle of the garden after destroying my strawberry patch.
(Captn Hood-Butteris not dead yet.,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:58,
archived)
that is horrific
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:03,
archived)
"Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person!"
(Jabberwocmisses D.R. and Quinch,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:54,
archived)
elderberries
(that your father smells of)
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:11,
archived)
I WANT whatever it is taking.
(FeralCatManUnusual disease collector.,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:21,
archived)
hoorah
click
(HummelWho died and made you....oh wait....,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:49,
archived)
PISSTHROBBERS
I rate this scenario as
1 Shit out of 5 (Nobody actually gives a shit).
Oh well, to the vendors of yet more fucking shitty computers
(discomeatsThis canoe,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:15,
archived)
I would like to borrow this scale for books.
edit: also, how did your computer do a shit? Did it eject a floppy or exude a diarrhoeal series of boot fails?
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:16,
archived)
It actually fell over while saying "never again man, my heads fucking done in"`
then it drowned in a pool of it's own effluvia and burst into flames, then a marching band walked over it, then a steamroller, then a satellite fell on it and died and died.
(discomeatsThis canoe,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:23,
archived)
have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?
*doh!* sorry riverghost!
(artifusis doing it all wrong,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:24,
archived)
The pope won't let me.
The pope.. he fucking stymies my plans!! but one day, one day man, on that day, woah.
(discomeatsThis canoe,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:26,
archived)
fucking popes.
(artifusis doing it all wrong,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:29,
archived)
Is that the first stanza of the rite which summons that most ancient of anti-popish demon, Imchokedacron?
(artifusis doing it all wrong,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:54,
archived)
eggplant
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:57,
archived)
zucchini
(artifusis doing it all wrong,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:11,
archived)
that is still a courgette
deduct two points. Also: leek.
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:12,
archived)
aubergine
(artifusis doing it all wrong,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:16,
archived)
that is still an eggplant.
deduct four pints. Points. Lettuce
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:19,
archived)
*see sig for details*
you little gem, you
(artifusis doing it all wrong,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:20,
archived)
Gah!
Award me five points for thinking of Iced Gems. Mmmm.
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:47,
archived)
*awards five points*
*craves*
(artifusis doing it all wrong,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:50,
archived)
i wish i had spare PSUs
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:04,
archived)
yes, it's great having spares that are broken
:D
(discomeatsThis canoe,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:07,
archived)
What you need is
a bin
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:09,
archived)
I got one
but it's broken
(discomeatsThis canoe,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:29,
archived)
now i don't know much about computers but make sure it has at least two rams
(sockmore tea vicar?,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:17,
archived)
it has 2 rams
no more, no less.
(discomeatsThis canoe,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:22,
archived)
Tell me about it
I.T. just tried to upgrade the security certificates on our website (something I normally do without incident) and they've managed to stack the whole server...I was hoping to get home before the tubes fill up with drunk/boisterous or drunk/angry soccerball morons, but now it looks like my journey will coincide just exactly with their leaving the pub :(
(emveecruor deo cruoris,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:20,
archived)
You need my patented "Anti-lout helm"
The insides are filled to the brim with pictures of flowers and kittehs. Comes with free earplugs. I would 'shop this but have had too much G&T.
(Yo 'Ho of Charliemass-market saucetrepreneur,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:23,
archived)
"BETTER IMPROVEMENT THROUGH VIGOROUS FAILURE"
yay
(discomeatsThis canoe,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:24,
archived)
Fuck it, I might go to the pub down the road where they don't have a telly
(emveecruor deo cruoris,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:25,
archived)
good suggestion is good.
(discomeatsThis canoe,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:46,
archived)
Now back, two pints later
Server still down, apparently because of corrupted file system
Fucksticks
(emveecruor deo cruoris,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:55,
archived)
Perhaps they could do the same with all the things I don't like, too?
Find the best soap opera, the best swivel-eyed karaoke-singing mental-breakdown-waiting-to-happen, the best rom-com chick flick, the best shitty dancing/skating/insect-eating celebrity, the best snarky messageboard twat, and send them all off into the heart of the sun?
Or maybe we could just nuke the Earth to dust so no-one ever has to live with the pain of thinking that somewhere, just maybe, something is happening that they feel is beneath their fucking superiority complex?
(prodigy69broke b3ta and made everyone leave,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:27,
archived)
:)
in all fairness, after living in Northern Ireland for the past 3 years, and visiting the place for nigh-on 10... the anti-English banter gets my goat up.
Believe me, as a Geordie, the reasons I hate England will be the same reasons you do.
the whole "I hate you because of geographical location you popped out of a vagina" thing is just ultimate fucking pointless stupidity.
(discomeatsThis canoe,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:21,
archived)
bunch of cunts, the lot of them
(emveecruor deo cruoris,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:20,
archived)
^ :)
(prodigy69broke b3ta and made everyone leave,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:57,
archived)
I read a psychological study
which suggested that supporting a team is basically just the desire to bask in reflected glory. People who have recently had a good personal achievement (eg a good test result) are apparently less likely to describe a team as "we", for example.
After reading that, I actually feel pity for many football supporters who must be using it to fill a certain sense of worthlessness.
(monkeonschmonkeon,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:50,
archived)
Aw man I hope England doesn't go away because then there would just be sea and I don't like sea I can't swim and my house would be underwater and all the badgers would drown.
(Damien Hurtsjust forgot a really good idea,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:24,
archived)
Yes, with his husband and daughter
(drimblehe'd been white, he'd been black,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:44,
archived)
d=]
(Damien Hurtsjust forgot a really good idea,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:51,
archived)
So....
did he have to do another u-turn to find her? /politicsblog
(wuffle, the b3ta bunny's flea collar isn't working on,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:10,
archived)
BBC Radio 4 beat you to it.
(FeralCatManUnusual disease collector.,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:17,
archived)
Ah, what?
Here was I thinking I had actually had an original hummus of my very own too. Well, in a way it was because I haven't listened to the radio today, just saw it on the BBC website.
(wuffle, the b3ta bunny's flea collar isn't working on,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:45,
archived)
NSFW!
it's clearly a picture of a cunt
(discomeatsThis canoe,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:25,
archived)
Glub glub glub
Getting the worms in through the portholes is the tricky bit.
(Doctor WhenMay your wife shat and chipper,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:53,
archived)
That's my cue...
...to pearoast some old shit:
(Doctor WhenMay your wife shat and chipper,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:55,
archived)
...
(Doctor WhenMay your wife shat and chipper,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:57,
archived)
(Doctor WhenMay your wife shat and chipper,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:22,
archived)
:D
I've only just noticed how comically small the shoulder pad bit looks in the original poster, it helps to make his arm look massive as well as his noggin :D
(HappyToastGroat froth,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:17,
archived)
The poster image is great.
But hiding the costume in darkness isn't fooling anyone.
Also the only good thing in the Sly version was the robot.
((|D[ekionplexisB3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:32,
archived)
shame it wasn't from Judge Dredd
and removed the chance of a decent ABC Warriors movie
(HappyToastGroat froth,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:40,
archived)
I don't know who the abc warriors are but I bet they all smashing blouses on.
Ed: I just looked them up and they don't, but I like robos.
((|D[ekionplexisB3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:44,
archived)
the robot shoe horned in to the Stallone film is hammerstein
leader of the ABC Warriors, a different comic strip to Dredd. It's like putting Garfield in to Roy of the Rovers because they were in the same newspaper
(HappyToastGroat froth,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:47,
archived)
well i'll be jiggered
that's fucking sweet, I might have to get me some ABC Warriors now
GOOD TOAST JUICE!
((|D[ekionplexisB3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:50,
archived)
BIG JOBS
(Doctor WhenMay your wife shat and chipper,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:09,
archived)
There appears to be quite alot of it
To be fair I just want pictures of..Hammerstein doing stuff, he's the best one you know.
((|D[ekionplexisB3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:34,
archived)
nonononono it's DEADLOCK!
Let's meditate!
(DreddPirateBobhas watched every scifi film ever on,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 22:58,
archived)
((|D[ekionplexisB3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK,
Mon 11 Jun 2012, 15:51,
archived)
Having a similar premise to 'The Raid' has probably given it a kick in the bollocks.
I'll still champion it, though - if this one tanks, my dream of seeing Judge Death stalking the streets of Mega City One at the cinema will probably get set back by at least another decade.