next one to die?
Any predictions on the next celebrity to die, given this week's rash of deaths?
Kirstie Alley's about to explode
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

Jonathan King

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

Patrick Swayze.
He's pretty ill.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

i thought he was already dead
oh shit.. i probably just jinxed it didn't i..
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

Ill in a medical sense. Not in a rap sense.
Although, maybe he is. I've not heard him rap, and I may never get to.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

He's sick.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

I'd like to hear his mixtape.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

I've just noticed that I'm fifth on the stats board.
How the shit did that happen? I only post here at night.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

I posted 68
*punches the sky*
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:52, archived)

I posted more than Wormulus, for fuck's sake :(

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:53, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6255937
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

Bully.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

I've got your back, bro.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

We'll be tag team champions in no time.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 2:01, archived)

Yes, it's all a conspiracy.

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

That is taken out of context.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

outofcontextlol

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 2:06, archived)

I wouldn't worry about it
I was once up around there, give it a few years and you'll just come out of the woodwork occasionally like everyone else.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

oh right...
forgot about him. what's he done since roadhouse, anyway?
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

tony blackburn
*touches nose*
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

Nah, I saw him at a Fightstar gig recently.
He's fine.
( WHARRGARBL, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

definetly hanging with the
cool kids
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

The guy who play Nasty Nick Cotton.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

I am obliged to say
Sir Ian McKellen
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

:(

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

HE'S GAY YOU KNOW

(__, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

WHAT!?!?!?!!??!!?!

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

HE LOVES IT UP THE CHUFFER.
/obligation
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

sir roger moore

( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

and patrick moore

( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

ALL THE MOORES MUST GO

( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

Elvis, Freddy Mercury, 2pac and MJ aren't dead
They're going to have a massive comeback tour when the others involved in this tour "die" - who they are I wish I knew.
It'll be brilliant.
( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

jerry garcia and jimmy hendrix too, right?
.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

Moon on skins.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:47, archived)

Cherry Garcia.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

I reckon Ainsley Harriott
fuck it, we can do without him anyway.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

peter kay
*crosses fingers*

g'night
( weaver., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

Brian Blessed
beard fire
( scott,, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:52, archived)

Alastair Stewart
Drink driving accident
( broadsword, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

That was no accident
I got the bastard good and proper.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

Nice one
Allow me to buy you a drink. No, a pub.
( broadsword, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 2:00, archived)

I would be honoured, Broadyswordy.
*clinks glass*
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 2:03, archived)

I decided to defragment my hard drive about 2 hours ago.
I have a feeling it's going to keep me up all night - and I'm already hungry.
What underestimatedly¹ long things have you decided to do at inappropriate moments?^2
1If that's even a word
²*understands this question may result in "your mum/my dick" replies* - it's what I would say after all.
( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

Moments is definately a word.
I've seen it on Countdown and everything.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

Oh no wait. I read that backwards.
MMMNNNNNNGGGGGGHHHH.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

Reading things backwards is rarely good
Window the in doggy that is much how?
Tail waggily the with one the.
Window the in doggy that is much how?
Sale for is doggy that hope do I!
( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)

Leave my mind alone.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

*pokes it a bit more*
that'll be done in about 10 minutes, should be nice and tasty :)
( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

MORE PRESSING MATTERS
WHATISFACE IS GAY
(__, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

HOLY NUGGETS

( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

Can't you just go to sleep and leave it defrag?

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

I would
But right now my fan is on top speed and I've rested my laptop on two dvd cases and I'm worried the heat might cause meltage and various forms of plastic suffocation/fire.
In short: I'm overly paranoid and afraid of death
( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)

what kind of retarded lappy is that?
i leave mine on almost all the time.. no problem with overheating (cheap acer 5315)
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

Some massive 17" HP one with Vista
Not good on performance - hence a high fan speed methinks.
( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

Whack it in the fridge.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

It's full of milk and bodies :(
bodies bacon
:( :D
Bacon is always good, and milk is essential to tea-making.
( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

This is an acceptable excuse.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)

\o/
Speaking of milk, meat, staying up late and being hungry - time for a sandwich of sorts! Goodnight /talk, it's been a nice visit!
( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

Toodles /boarder.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

/boards the /talkboat

( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

Goodnight, Petehix.
Sweet dreams.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

PLEASE... Let me set the record straight...
I am GAY. Please do not gaz me with your offers of pussy. If you want to suck me off, I require a man and not a nubile sexy woman. Please, I am GAY.

Sexy women, if you cannot restrain from your requests, I will simply sen you a reply asking you to slice off your titties.

For God's sake, I am GAY. Get it into your thick skulls.

I'm GAY. A gay gay.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

Like, a real gay? With BUMMING!

( WHARRGARBL, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

I honestly don't understand how people don't realise this.
He's gay for Christ's sake. GAY!
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

A truly excellent thread. Can we have the scores, please?

 [S] [H] [U] [T] [ ] [U] [P] [ ] [R] [O] [A] [N] [E] [A] [H]
 \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ 
  |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |  
 / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ 

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

good for you.
but you're still a bore
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

I think you're overcompensating for actually being straight.

( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

Leather coats.
a) A gay look,
b) Straight look or..
c) Just disagree with JMG's opinion?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:01, archived)

Find that matrix pic of SuperMatt and decide.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:02, archived)

Oh oh...
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:03, archived)

Case solved.

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:03, archived)

Leather jackets are straight, 'cause that's what The Fonz wore.
Leather coats are gayer that Graham Norton wanking whilst watching Brokeback Mountain.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:03, archived)

Most deffo this.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:04, archived)

I own TWO leather jackets.
This isn't even an internet lie. TWO.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:17, archived)

I had one but it got barbed wired when I got stupid on a night out.
RIP LEATHER JACKET
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

I barbed wired a brand new Skindred shirt when I got pissed on a night out.
I thought I was near my house, but I was actually in Pill. Pill is not a nice place.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:21, archived)

I have never heard of Pill, it's an intriguing place name.
I decided I wanted to try and take some tractor for a ride on my way home one night and ran to it, not seeing the barbed wire fence. Idiot.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

Pillgwenlly. Horrible place.
Coincidently, it's where Skindred are from. And it happenned after one of their Christmas gigs. I passed out on a bench and when I woke up I thought I was home. I climbed a fence that wasn't there when I left home and tore my new shirt. Police were called and they gave me a lift into town where I got a taxi home. My trainers are still muddy from that night :(
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)

this

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

I always go for C.
C = cunt.
C = crass.
C = cut you a new arsehole that I will fuck relentlessly until you die from bloodloss.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:03, archived)

Listen Mary Poppins.
Some children picked on you, on the bus.
It wasn't me. Calm down.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:03, archived)

THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HEEEELS ARE ALIIIIIVE

WITH THE SOUND OF MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSIIIIIK!
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:04, archived)

Is that what you want?

( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:04, archived)

Who

(__, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:05, archived)

(__, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:05, archived)

the FUCK

(__, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:05, archived)

(__, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:06, archived)

are you?

(__, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:06, archived)

I get Roneah and Wildheart Baby confused.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:06, archived)

I've never found WB to be anything less than a stand-up chap.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:10, archived)

Stop bullying young Roneah!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:11, archived)

Did you know that he's gay?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:12, archived)

Thut the fuck up, thexy.
How dare you call me a thodding gay?
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:13, archived)

*Chucks a big bucket of attention over you *
/ac
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:14, archived)

That's absolutely lovely.
Next time, please fill it with cocks.

Kthxbai.

Jew.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:17, archived)

Because you're gay, yeah?
Let's not forget that it's gay. It wouldn't like it if we all forgot that it was gay.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

I'm gay, you fucking idiot!
Stop it with the pussy.

COCKS COCKS COCKS IS WHAT I WANT!

I R IN PRZN CUZ I SHWD MY COK IN PBLIC LOLZ
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
WHO?



FUCK?




WHO?




FUUUCK!


/PJ Harvey
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:06, archived)

These kids that made fun of you on the bus.
Boys or girls?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:05, archived)

My penis.
It was my penis that made fun of me.

He speaks to me sometimes. He tells me I am a worthless fag.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:07, archived)

Chins up.
I very rarely use the bus.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:09, archived)

Oh, I understand that you get your adoring b3tans to carry you everywhere.
Because "EVERYONE LOVES YOU!"
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:11, archived)

I'm b3ta's hero.
Note my adoring public.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:14, archived)

*looks around*
Sorry, I don't follow the trend. I hate you. :)

Plz prove yourself. Kthxbai.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:18, archived)

Yes. As I said earlier.
I have loads of portly haters, too.
:(

I don't need proof. Cheers!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

d) SuperMatt

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:03, archived)

Can't hear you, I'm shouting BLAME JMG too loud

( moohalaa, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:03, archived)

Moohalaa.
I'm sure you're questioning the direction of Newcastle United given the nonsense off the field.
What are your recommendations?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:04, archived)

i suggest...
JMG should arrange a consortium to buy the club
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:07, archived)

There'd be much change.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:09, archived)

will you bring back...
john carver? a geordie running things, like...
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:11, archived)

Talk is he's on the way back with Shearer.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:15, archived)

his heart...
may explode on the pitch. looked like it a few times here in toronto. you could see the veins on his neck bulging. gotta like a manager with a bit of emotion. but when he goes, there will be little bits of him all over
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:18, archived)

Football, you say?
I see.
*rubs chin*
Yeah, you see, I'm really not qualified to comment on this I'm afraid.
( moohalaa, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:08, archived)

OHH MOOHALAA!
At this rate we're going to start the season with Baldmonkey in charge.
Nobody wants that.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:10, archived)

DON'T BLAME IT ON THE DOLE QUEUE
DON'T BLAME IT ON THE BALDNESS
DON'T BLAME IT ON THE OLD TYNE
BLAME IT ON THE GEORDIE
( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:09, archived)

pfft!
best yet
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

no one cares

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:03, archived)

They do.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:06, archived)

don't

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:09, archived)

I have one.
The outcome of your poll will clearly decide if i'm a bad person.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:04, archived)

LEATHER IS IN.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:11, archived)

Thank god.
I was begining to pour lighter fluid all over my coat for summary burning if the tide had turned.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:14, archived)

depends on the coat
if it's a big pink leather coat made from the bum skin of a big gay ox then yes, it's a gay coat
( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:04, archived)

You said it suited me :(

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:05, archived)

it brings out your wandering eyes

( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:10, archived)

a and b
if it's a bomber jacket, it's B. if it's long like a trenchcoat, it's queerer than liberace's hairdresser
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:06, archived)

Are we talking about long black gay leather coats like SuperMatt is known for
or jackets like this, which are actually quite cool even when it's not celebrities wearing them?
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:12, archived)

Jackets are fine, as that's what The Fonz wore.
Leather coats are for weirdos who will most likely shoot up a school.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:15, archived)

I agree with this.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:16, archived)

Jacket, yes.
I own one.
It's done me well.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:16, archived)

biker jackets ONLY for people who own a bike

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

LOLZ.
DIS IZ A POSTE 4 EVRY1 2 RITE BAD THINGS ABOUT ME.

GO ON. G3T IT OWT!
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:48, archived)

The fuck are you?

(__, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:49, archived)

you're syncubus, aren't you?
.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:49, archived)

YS FRM PRZN.

( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:50, archived)

copycat

( weaver., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:51, archived)

huh?
.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:52, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6256279
( weaver., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:55, archived)

ta
sorry, mate. no plagiarism intended.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:57, archived)

No, but he did wank with him on webcam together.
=/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:52, archived)

there must have been...
a squirrel or two involved as well, then...
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:52, archived)

YEEHAR!

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:53, archived)

Check your messages, you fucking Jew-boy.
"Oh look at us, we control the media LOLZ!"
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:54, archived)

Yeah!
He's such a bloody Jew!
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:55, archived)

better to control...
the media than interior design and flower shops.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:58, archived)

Oooooo!
What a bitch!
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:59, archived)

slut.

(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:59, archived)

Bless, someone not get on Big Brother, again, this year?
Awww, adorable.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:59, archived)

goddamnit
the cheques for my cut of the worldwide financial conspiracy keep getting lost in the mail. you got any extras, gonz?
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:02, archived)

I tried my hardest.
It's interesting that no ugly jews have applied yet. As an ugly hairy jew, could you explain that?

PS - JUDEN RAUS, JUDEN RAUS.

That is all.

PPS - YAYS for the pink triangle.

Now fuck off.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:02, archived)

Has anyone ever seen Ade Edmondson live with his band?

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:50, archived)

Yeah
He smashed up a keyboard at a bash
(__, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:51, archived)

You're not wrong

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:52, archived)

Who are you?

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:52, archived)

Do you sound like barnaby bear?

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:52, archived)

Haha, yes!
Classic roaneah!
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:55, archived)

Bringing back the sexy!

( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:56, archived)

Text speak is for cunts
You write in text speak so you're a cunt.

Am I doing this right?
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:56, archived)

You have to fall out with me, too.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:57, archived)

She can't see that.
98.5%, and all.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:58, archived)

Oh.
In that case I say you're a 3 foot tall Marmoset a-like.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:03, archived)

Surely you meat "CUN7"?

( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:57, archived)

i heard you like to tickle children until they wet themselves

( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:58, archived)

If by 'tickle' you mean 'molest'
and by 'wet' you mean 'ejaculate', and by 'themselves' you mean 'my face', and by 'children' you mean 'children', then yes, you are correct.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:00, archived)

Your name is Neil.
What a cuntish name.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 1:03, archived)

Quiet, Sailing By is on.
Ahhhhhh.
( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:47, archived)

And now, the shipping forecast issued by the Met Office on behalf of the Maritime and Coastguard Agency at 0012 GMT.

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:48, archived)

Back to JMG then.
Tomorrow is a very exciting pub crawl.
What type of hat should I wear?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)

I vote stovepipe

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

TOP

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

YES!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

Trilby, with the angle set to "jaunty"
later in the day, you can adjust the angle manually to "rakish"
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

Excellent!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

Why not the Michal Jackson Angle? Are you a racialist?
He is with the angles now.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:41, archived)

A flat cap, worn backwards.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

A green bowler.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

tricorn?

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

I think you should wear two hats

(__, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

A 16 year old's homophobic arsehat.
You total nonce.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

I wasn't on the bus you know?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

I still don't like you.

( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

Loads of chubby types on here dislike me.
There's a club!
I'm an equal rights internet user. Well done me.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:23, archived)

They dislike you because they wish they were as huge as you.
Fucking beached whale.

Oh wait - beeyatchuhd wayhul.

Is that right?
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

CAN WE HAVE MOOHALAA INTERPRET?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

uh oh, where's Mike when you need him...

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:27, archived)

Inside some 80 year old's vagina, no doubt.

( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)

i'll field this one!
ahem. "JMG IS FAT AND HAS A FUNNY ACCENT"
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)

G0NZ0
dribbled his mouth juice all over my legs last time I saw him.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:29, archived)

Don't bring me into this.
You're the one picking on Jammy because you had a tiffle with some scallywags from his home-town and then played the vicitim to us.

Yeah', you're a regular Martin Luther you are.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:39, archived)

You're the one picking on me because I am retaliating against JMG's remarks.
You fucking hairy, snoring tub of shit.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:42, archived)

You're playing the victim again, you brought me into this, not the other way around.
Go and explain Marixsm to your bitch of the week, oh wait, I think out of the two, you're the one who's the bitch.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:50, archived)

You speak fruit?!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

i took an evening course when it turned out i had a gay housemate

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

Excellent political correcting, here.
*Firm handshakes*
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)

i'm doing my bit, jmg
but i'm just one (startlingly handsome) man
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:33, archived)

Scottish, is he?

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

Ummmm... no.
He comes from the same place as me, you syphilitic tosspot.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

Your lack of understanding makes me sad online.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:33, archived)

Your lack of hilariousness makes me unhappy.

( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:34, archived)

You leave HBLC alone, you horrid bully.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:43, archived)

You leave ME alone,
You horrid fuzzy-loving shit-fuck.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:44, archived)

I knew I could rely on you!
I find it pointless to get into a slanging match with someone who I can only describe as a spastic.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:44, archived)

Well done!
Hahahah!
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:46, archived)

but it was your fault

( mongychops, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

I can see this developing.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:23, archived)

i think upseting roaneah is par for the course round here, he's here he's queer and he is going to make a broadway production about it all day long till he flounces off again

( mongychops, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

FUCK YOU!
*flounces*
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

He said it happened in Newcastle.
It can only be you Jammer, it can only be you :(
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

I think it was Friz' unborn child.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

deerstalker

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

Only if teamed with a bubble pipe

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

natch

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

Flat cap
drink nothing but John Smiths
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)

Yeah great, let's just steal half of JackAction's post.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

Silly me

( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)

a nice safe hard hat

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)

If you don't wear a deerstalker
I'll be very disappointed.
(mingeswingers, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)

I mightn't own one, these days.
I'm unsure.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

Whichever is best for the occasion.
What's your opinion on trilbys? I'm off to a gangster-themed party later in the month, and need a suitably 30s hat.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

I saw some SKA enjoyers wearing some, earlier.
I didn't think much of it.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

A welder's mask
and nothing else.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

I'd certainly lose the tan lines.
An interesting development.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:27, archived)

come to me for all your fashion advice.

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

BUMHAT

( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:29, archived)

That's your answer to everything.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

That's because it's the answer that always works.

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)

Hat hat hat.
Whatever. England win a penalty shoot out, how about that?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:45, archived)

Friz is fucking shit

(__, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

WHO

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

Great, Friz, great.

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Thank you Friz.

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

I suppose I should have seen that coming.

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

not really, one rotten apple does not a shit forum make

( mongychops, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

IS THAT YOUR KID?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Yeah, that's out of order.

( WHARRGARBL, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Oh god.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

good boy
:p
( weaver., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)

You're no baldmonkey.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)

dear me.

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

not a nice thing to do friz
very poor show
( mongychops, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

well done
you fat prick.
( moohalaa, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

i dont get it.

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

2 threads down or whatever
easty's sister
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

oh.
what a mong.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

oh i see what happened now
you wanker
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

Don't know who she is,
don't want to know, if she's not fit, like you said she was :(
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

I love Friz. He thinks I'm a laugh.
DON'T BE SO CRUEL TO HIM.
( FoldsFive, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

Jesus Christ, even SSG doesn't give a shit.
Just been on date. Date went ok. Got bus home. Sat on top deck. Unbeknowst to me back half of deck is full of 16 year olds. 16 year olds proceed to throw popcorn at be because I am gay. I tell the teenagers to stop throwing popcorn. They continue. I tell them to stop it or I will beat their skulls in with my gay umbrella. They continue. They tell me to stop filming them on my mobile. I refuse. Gang leaves, one of them slaps the back of my head. I follow them down the steps of the bus and crack them on the back of the neck with my "gay umbrella". They run away screaming.


Why do I still feel like crying? Is it some kind of minority thing?

All arsehole-posts will be ignored. Kthxbai.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

WHAT

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

How did they know you were gay?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

because he has a gay umbrella

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

I see.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)

a bumbrella?

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)

a pararsehole

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)

COMEDY GOLD RIGHT HERE

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

Because I am the campest bastard this side of the Tyne.
Happy?
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Would you like to see my arsehole?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

mongychops would

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Yes.

( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

I don't have a picture prepared.
This could take a while.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

I'll wait.

( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

Knowing what the justice system in this country is like, you'll probably get sentenced to 88 years in jail for assaulting a minor, without even a trial.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Needs more MOING!

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

16 year olds in groups are going to be like that
laugh about it with the guy when you next go for dinner
( moohalaa, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

How fucking rational.
AKA, eat my shit.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

well what do you want us to say?
still stroppy that I wouln't sleep with you? you self-absorbed faggot haha
( moohalaa, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

Hypocrite.

( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

Not really.
They're 16 and pushing their luck. If you'd been a woman on your own it would have been the same.

How did they know you were gay anyway? You don't dress that obviously. Did you have a T-shirt with 'I am gay' on it? If you were a hetero man on your own they may still have done the same.

Conclusion - gangs of 16 year olds are arseholes.

By the way, in case it doesn't sound like it, I'm sorry it happened to you, it shouldn't any more.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

I was wearing jeans, grey t-shirt and black cardigan.
I suppose it was the cardigan that gave it away?

It felt like being a black guy in the 50s.

Edit- why not pick on the other 30 people on the bus, a plethora of married/single men/women. In fact, one guy sat next to me half way through and chose to leave the seat and sit somewhere else because of the abuse.
( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

Answer: move out of London.
In the smaller cities and more provinicial areas, people generally don't give a shit; for the most part, the worst they can do is point and laugh at you if you go out looking like a bell-end.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

I live in Newcastle, dickhead.

( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

That figures.
In London, you'd probably have been murdered.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)

See, not particularly gay looking.
You were just unlucky.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

Yeah', the two things really compaire there.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

Also, you're an ugly Jew and no-one likes you.

( hoifbjifbef, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:23, archived)

He was a cunt then. He should have stayed, I would have done.
maybe they could see it was getting to you and that's why they carried on? Next time sit where the driver can see you.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:23, archived)

He was bumming another man at the time.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

he was bound entirely in scarves like some sort of gay mummy

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

*snarf*

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

sit on the driver's lap next time

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

haha wot
how'd they know you were gay? did you announce it when you got on?

HALLO IM ROONEY AND IM A GAY! CHASE ME IM FULL OF CHOCOLATES!
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

He was wearing a scarf indoors.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)

Kids don't like being filmed.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)

tell me more about the bus

( scott,, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:41, archived)

If your little sister is being retarded on the internet, is it best to intervene or leave her to learn from her stupidity?
Hello.
( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

I'd recommend not telling /talk you have a little sister, for a start.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

baldmonkey might fuck her

( weaver., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)

me first.

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

you want him to fuck you first?

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

either or.
i'm not picky
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:08, archived)

or choosy

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

look, I'm desperate.
DON'T JUDGE ME
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:10, archived)

I'LL TELL MUM.

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

STUN GUN

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

i'm gonna judge dredd you

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

he'll have to contact the police

( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:08, archived)

Good luck with Sting.

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

Retarded in what way?

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)

Well she's just doing what teenage girls do on the internet, I guess.

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

Sample tweets
redacted.
( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

I'm guessing laissez-faire.

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

Oh dear god.
The rot appears to have set in.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

The Birthday Massacre?
Fucking hell.
( WHARRGARBL, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

She doesn't know emo is dead :(

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

Send her here.
Or don't.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

*resists linking to her twitter account*

( weaver., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)

Thank you.

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

unfortunately
frizzle ma nizzle has :(
( weaver., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

omg wtf rofl lol s club 7 r kewl!1

( moohalaa, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)

i don't understand any of that really

( mongychops, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:08, archived)

I'm not sure you can stop her being teenaged.
Best to forewarn her about personal information and that.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

I have no little sister, so I'll answer the question instead.
5, 6 at a push
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

Let her run away into the arms of Gary Glitter

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

so long as she doesn't hack your accounts

(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

is that what has happened here?
are you some real person's teenage sister?
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

would there be proof that i was or proof that i wasn't, nothing easily summed in a sentance
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

If she's being overtly sour and racist, I'm sure some fat ginger tramp will defend her honour and eventually blackmail her into shagging him.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

lose some weight you disgusting fat fucks
www.lanacane.co.uk/products/gel.asp

whatever next will they invent to aid peoples cake consumption

any products that sicken you?
( mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

World of Warcraft.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

i'm yet to see it in the flesh but i did see mountain dew have realesed fizzy pop for it, sad times

( mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

I drank blue gatorade in Central America and almost instantly threw it back up.
I'm completely off it.
A terrible influence.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

i was wrong jmg, it's this, game fuel :((((((
s2.buzzfeed.com/static/imagebuzz/terminal01/2009/3/19/17/world-of-warcraft-mountain-dew-25852-1237496774-6.jpg
( mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

*sadface offline*

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)

HELLO

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

hello mister! *waves*

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

i'm glad you've joined us. there's some worthwhile debate going on.

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

i've been doing other things as well
most of which has been MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

GET IN!

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

*big fish little fish carboard fish*

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

Oh no :(

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)

ARGH!
FATTENER!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

but one of them is blue
blue is a fruit
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)

rargh! an ex housemate of mine was a wow fan and he was a complete dickface
i believe these facts may be somewhat related
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

oh jesus what's going on?
it's hot. wish i had some aircon
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

Some absolute bastard deleted a thread, here.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)

this sickens me
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eU_nLH2G0s

oh product. well THIS: www.dynamic-living.com/product/bottom-buddy-toilet-tissue-holder/
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

i can't youtube on this relic
what is it?
( mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

it is dave!
doing some music which is mario moing moing moing moing coin bashing shit over a durr durr durr durr banging soundtrack.

sad sad sad times.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6256004
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

What the fuck

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

Hahaha oh fuck
I was about to say how there's a fat kid in his friends list and then I realised it was Moohalaa
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

Shoulder surgery.
You're mocking those who've had shouler surgery, for shame.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

I hate when 'stool softener' adverts come on TV.
Thos girls around the table just talking about constipation. It's like Loose Women, but even fucking worse.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

Not-So-Loose Women.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

Fuck off, that was comedy gold.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 2:57, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 2:59, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 2:59, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:01, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:01, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:02, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:02, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:03, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:03, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:04, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:05, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:05, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:07, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:08, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:08, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:09, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:10, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:10, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:11, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:12, archived)

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 27 Jun 2009, 3:13, archived)

yer and that ear wax melting spray :(

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

psilence

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)

YES!
i was expecting great things from www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=61047
:(
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

you should have learnt by now, man

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:10, archived)

:(
women bowels
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

yeah i know the one's you mean
usually they time it perfectly when your eating something
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

Unique formula outperforms:
* Messy powder
* Greasy petroleum jelly
* Clothe staining barrier cream
* Non-protective barrier antiseptic
* Stinging body lotion
* Razor wire
* Kryptonite
* Battery Acid
* Sellotaping small child to self
* A mesh of hammers
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

those bloody sanitary towel advert's
that just "happen" to come on when your eating Din-Dins'
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)

RUBBISH

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

I want some for my nipples.
They bled the other day.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

mine do sometimes
but only when i've been running and my tshirt has rubbed against them

anyone else got a bleeding nipple story?!
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

I looked down after 10 miles and thought, hmm dirt.
It was only when a similar pattern appeared at the other side, I realised what it was.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

those poor sods who actually live in Glastonbury village
Putting up with all the noise, wondering when the hell Rush will get on stage. Well OK, that's my fantasy. Sadly they are to be denied this year, as many years.

Who do you want for Glasto 2010?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

More of Edith's thighs!
LORDY!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

Edith from 'Allo 'Allo?
'you stupid woman'

/is not a catchphrase that makes me popular in mixed company.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

I applaud this, however.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

two gallants
for every festival ever. and AND playing in my back yard
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

i'm wearing a two gallants tshirt
they're better than everything ever
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

I'm wearing a ten gallants hat.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

The Moog Cookbook

( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

This may also potentially involve vestiges of
the synth manufacturere who Rush also use, so YAY! in my book
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

Drunk and Disorderly
So my mums just come in through the door, pissed as a fart falling all over the place x3

anyhow any embarrassing moments when you where drunk
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

fuck off
i'm still enjoying the last thread
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

I'm really wishing this was one

( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
MOING! MOING! MOING! MOING! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH! BLUERRGHH!
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

MOING MOING MOING MOING.

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

far far far. far far.
far too many to list.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

Wait till she bawls you out for buying all those pornographic PC games.
Thats when the fun starts.

And I'm 38. I could write several novels on embarassing drunken moments.
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

says the voice of experience?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

Only if we're talking the experience of several threads down

( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

OLD.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

20?
CHILD
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

Aarrr but she won't ever know,
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

I'm at Glastonbury.
LOL I'm not really.
So what have you all been up to?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

Watching iplayer.
I'm well cool.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

*CHEAP SWANSEA EVENING POST PLUG*

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

If a Troll falls over in the woods, does anybody care?

( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)

only if outside observers are there with sound recording equipment
and allude the inexplicable lack of recorded volume to a hardware malfunction
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:43, archived)

And how many mickles make a muckle?

( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

11.4
Unless it it is a metric muckle, then 10
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

I've been to Swansea.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

Fuck all.
Drinking beer, entertaining cats (genuine cats, I'm not doing any kind of hip-jazzster slang) and F5'ing on here.

Oh, and ordered a lovely new N97 phone which, fingers crossed, should be with me by lunchtime tomorrow.
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

hello mr 'sfive
how're you?

sounds like you've had a productive evening
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

I am good, and ever so slightly drunk.
It hasn't been too bad an evening. I've updated www.killingthejoke.blogspot.com as well, which I thought I'd never do.
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

I'm a bit drunk too
What have you been drinking?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:38, archived)

Guinness.

( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

Good work
I have been on Shepherd Neame's Master Brew tonight.

Their brewery is within sight of my bedroom.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)

I went to the off license to buy six bottles of Banana Beer
but they were sold out, so a six pack of Guinness it was.
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

wahey!
me too. also, i don't know what the normal punchline would be. which is a first since killingthejoke started
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:38, archived)

The old joke is "all the toilets at the police station have been stolen.
Police have nothing to go on"
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)

AH YES
i do know that one
brain functionality is at 40% currently

when are you coming to visit me then?
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)

At some point. *
* Some point = some time this year when I'm not skint.
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

= not this year
;o)
( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

it's not THAT expensive!

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

It'll be some point in the next couple of months,
worry ye not.
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

I want one!
Looks fantastic.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:43, archived)

I've been setting up my gear for a gig tomorrow JMG.
Our guitarist is getting married and we are doing a set at the reception. In a barn.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

In a change to the programme advertised, I'll be the vicar.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

I'd pay to see this

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

I'm not sure they are ready for such high standards.
I'm not sure how the guests are going to take us either. I dare say there will be at least one drunk uncle who wants The Birdy Song and trips over a monitor.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

are you really REALLY going to be at the HB bash?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

Of course he's not.
I am though. Yay!
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)

me too!
i'm looking forward to it

some people going that i haven't met before but would like to
and some people that it is always nice to see :)
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

that sounds like a really good night
/ac
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Being a fatty on the internet
How about you JMG?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

I enjoyed FOREIGN FOOD at O**line *irl's which we won't get in to too much.
Also watched some Glastonbury.
The acts are either immensely sweaty or I am unable to comprehend the reasons for them being there.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

I haven't been to Glastonbury in a few years now.
Too full of crusties and Bruce Springsteen.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

JM, I don't know what changed your demeanour
but you seem to be laying off the fatties.

That is the start of your journey towards being an ACCEPTABLE HUMAN BEING with NO PREJUDICES.

Oh, don't get me wrong, keep on thinking your dark thoughts. Just keep it under your hat.

*Awards Gold star on homework*
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

I'm attending a b4sh.
Lure them all in. Then pipe bomb.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

I'm greatly looking forward to meeting you JMG
Although you might find me a disappointment. I'm not fat and I don't watch 'blimey the football eh?'.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

I'm disappointed by you already
and I'm not even going to the bash ;o)
( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

This is a totally normal reaction
I'm not too phased by it now.

I am one massive disappointment.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

excellent
so are all the other cunts here.
( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)

WHY AREN'T YOU?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

cos I'm on fucking holiday!

( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

I can't believe I'm finally getting the JMG experience
but I'm too much of a cynic to not feel that in the future, results may vary. No worries, no offence, it's only pixels etc.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

Watched BlimeyTheFootball™ at teatime
Went to the pub.
Came home.
Despaired at the internet.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Excellent footballing, there.
*Dampens brow*
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

Been watching some proper horror splatter series :P
and then went to B&Q for garden stuff blah blah blah...
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Don't ''blah blah blah'' garden stuff.
Garden stuff can make or break this thread. What stuff did you get?
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

i hope it was chairs for the garden. i'd love a garden.
was it chairs for the garden?
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

Oh it was garden and plant feed and grass seed, plus some bird seeds tables to put up
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

Wooden or plastic bird tables?
You should have bought some lawn furniture as well. Unless you already have some.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

oh ya cheap old plastic kind, the ones that brake after a year of weather
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

Has to be white as well. Proper plastic.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:38, archived)

and made from bakelite
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)

fuck all
but i seem to be missing some sort of clint eastwood film on telly. sad times.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

nothing of note, bit of telly, bit of internet, drunk some wine, school fete tomorrow, great times

( mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

if it's piss awful
will it still be a fete worse than death?

'TISh DUm BAD'
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

BOO

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

buncha people came round. a man was waxed :(
now people are watching a film and i am here
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

Yes.
Best keep well away from all that silliness, RHC.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)

*salute*

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

I've been working
Now watching glasto on bbc2 and having a beer
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

Barbecueing JMG,
Sausages, chicken, peppers, beer. Good stuff.

What has JMG been up to? Edit: I see you've already answered that. Good work.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)

I'm depenable, and unexpendable.
*Cape*
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

I watched Deception, staring Ewan McGregor.
A right pile of toss. Avoid.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)

one last mesage to ruin your night
tara, i hope you all read the evening post, swansea edition. there'll be a special message for you all in the next few days
(ls, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

for me?!
:D
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

Who's Tara?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

Blue Star?

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

Would she be interested in the Swansea evening post?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Good point :)

( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

i doubt it

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

Oh, I think they meant ta-raa. It all becomes clear now.

( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

Ohhhhh.
That makes more sense. Shame I won't be able to read about that loser ending his life, instead of looking for professional help.
( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

it could all be irrelevant. they'll probably could be dead now
it's been 8 minutes
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

I hope so
cos it's a rubbish troll.
( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

which of the seven kinds of twat are you?

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

the bad one

( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

Not happy or bashful, that's for sure

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

the hong kong exploitation film of the 70s that never got made
the 7 kinds of golden twats and their revenge
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

I got The Water Margin the other day
"90 heroes and one evil man"
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

Sir Twatmeister!!!

( Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

Abbi twatmuss

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Father Twatmas

( Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

sounds catholic.

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

Feck off!!
ARSE!!!!
( Neddy shucking chit funt, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

I only know one Tara on here
I hope she laughed in your face.
( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

The Tara I know on here is nothing but lovely
I hope she laughed in your face then but out a burning cigarette on it.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

on me?

( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

No no,
sorry, lazymuffin's
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

That's ok then
cos I'm lovely really.
( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

I'm sure!

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

laughed
strikethroughed
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

Why the fuck would I read the Swansea Evening Post?

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

Maybe Swansea are in competition with Bridgend now.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Want to help me open up a hardware store in Swansea?

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

How about half price rope?

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

hahaha
you might need new upvc windows
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

What sort of stupid cunt would live in the distribution zone of the swansea news?
my blood shivers at the very thought of being that low on the food chain
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

Well, that's my night fucking ruined.
You BITCH.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

Not much call for that in the Fens.
I'll see if Smith's have got it when I go to Ely.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

WH- or Walter-
Cos I warn you, these butchers get pretty lairy when you go in for the 19th time and ask for a newspaper.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Our local butcher looks like Shrek.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

i don't so your message will be lost on me, are you going to top yourself and blame b3ta? that would be quite something

( mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

well, it's been an eventful 13 days which have clearly affected your life so

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

I went to Swansea the other week!
We should have gone for a drink!
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

CURSE YOU. YOU KNOW EVEN THE VERY MENTION OF THE SWANSEA EVENING POST
RUINS MY LIFE. YOU CAD.
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

Results may vary
she may get bored of buying said newspaper and scanning the ads for it NOT to turn up so I hope it wasn't an iimportant message.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

Dude, what?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

I think one of us is supposed to phone Vampyrecat
we'd better hurry we've only got 4 minutes left
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

nah
you will fail, so badly
( weaver., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

reconsider
don't let yourself down. and you've only posted 4 messages here apparently. get some sleep and forget about b3ta.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

Oh dear god. The Piston stand up. Oh god.
Oh fucking hell.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

*sne*

EDIT - I might watch it again now just to see if it was as bad. Top marks though for him for getting up there, even if it was cringeworthy
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

Driving instructors, eh?

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

That bad?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

One minute and I had to stop.
Oh god. Embarrasing to watch.

Still, I wish I had the confidence to try it.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

www.b3ta.com/links/Piston_broke_does_stand_up
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

Piston deleted the video.
The link doesn't work any more.
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

but if anyone wants a copy, i have one.
just email [email protected]
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

I think you should release it on dvd
I could do the sleeve.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

hur hur, do the sleeve,
like you do
with
your
missus
hur hur hur sorry i'm no piston roke when it comes to comedy.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

It got deleted before I saw it.

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

i bin spreadin it yo

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

Yes.
Thank you, by the way. Thank you very much. You are very kind.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

it's ok.
i am sure piston would agree with me that information should be free.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

You have mail!

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

BALDMONKEY! HELLO!

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

AND YOU!

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

:D

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

oh hell yes

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

That bad, eh?
I'm glad my shift patterns got changed that week, or else I wouldn't have had a legitimate excuse for wimping out of it.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

stroke my poodle.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

Haha
I know.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

I enjoy listening to some pop music and find Lady Gaga attractive.
TELL ME THINGS. GO.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

I went to see Transformers tonight
it had excellent explosions.
( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

:D

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

You ruined it for me :(
Admittedly, not as much as Michael Bay ruined it for me, but there you go.
( FoldsFive, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

I'm a bitch!
:oD
( jenpots, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

I have 2 months off!

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

GET IN!

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

who on earth gives employees 2 months off in one go?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

British Airways.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

I'm not employed
summer holidays
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

*grooms*

( MrA, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

College holidays
*slaps hand*
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

I had a VIP in the back of my bus today

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

Was it Austin Healy?

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

a council official

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

BATMAN!

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

you are easily pleased.
FACT
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

NAH

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

I have something of a crush on one of the chefs at work.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

Is she ginger?

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

Brown with blonde highlights.
Usually in a cute little ponytail.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

:D

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

She's got lovely wide blue eyes too.
And she's about a foot shorter and three years younger than me.

By all rights, I should be well in there.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

Don't forget to show her how awesome you are!

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

Nice
I'm a sucker for short girls.

Anything much over 5'4 and i'm not interested!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

Owt with a nice face and a nice arse does for me.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

i see that hairstyle quite a lot
must be an increase for the demand of ponytails
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

Not all shit is good for the garden.
Apparantly.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

Oh man, you shouldn't eat ice cream before you shit on the tulips :(

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

It wasn't on the tulips.
I was in urgent need of a mud out and thought I'd curl one out on the lawn and blame the dog. Bloody Jehovah's witnesses.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

Oh lordy :(

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

I spent a four-figure amount of money on tyres and wheels
which don't fit my car. I am rather irate.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

Slam fists and demand an exchange. DEMAND.

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

second-hand, innit
and the reason they don't fit? The previous owner skimped on a really silly pikey cost, spending 15 quid instead of 20 so that now I have to spend the 20 quid again to make these wheels fit. The cunt.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

Spacers?

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

I'd have to out 20mm at least
which means hubcentrics and a cunt for the front wheel bearings, which on a six-cylinder isn't a good idea, plus it means the same at the back to compensate, so 100quid all round for some aluminium discs. No thanks.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

I'm going to take a rasp and try to shave off a few millimetres from the tie rod
and if that works, I'll get proper high quality low profile ones
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

I told you the best place for tyres!
www.etyres.co.uk
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

Yeah, they had good prices
but they were a bit reluctant to drive a thousand miles each way for delivery
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

I'm going home on Thursday.
I might make some toast.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

FANTASTIC!
Will you have jam?
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

Nope, don't think we have any.
It's all go here.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

NO JAM!
CRIPES!
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

Saveloys taste so much better from a chinese take out

(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

I will investigate this!

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

just 'coz she dances go-go
it don't make her a ho, no
maxine, put your dance shoes on
we going to the disco
we gonna eeelope to meeeexico
called up my mama, said i'm in love with a stripper, yo
( mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

*boogies*

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

At points in my life I have broken ribs, sternum, toes, foot, fingers and wrist.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

Were they repaired with METAL?

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

Should have been, but alas, no.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

MECHAHAROLDBISHOPSLOVECHILD ANGRY!
MECHAHAROLDBISHOPSLOVECHILD SMASH!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

This brings up THE best image in my head!

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

This evening I have decided to take my kiteboarding instuctors course
and fuck off to the carribean to teach for six months as there aren't any graduate jobs here.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

Also I heard Lady Ga Ga
Is a transgender. She has manbits and ladybits too.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

This does not bother me.
I can still do her up the bum!
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

Haha!
Alright then, take her up the chuff!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

:D I TOTALLY SHALL DO SO

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

Noone on the corner has swagger like me.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

What if a clone of you was on the corner?

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

Then they would be similar enough to have at least an equal amount of swagger.
I concede to your logic.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

gin and tonic with half a squeezed lime
and sliced cucumber for the fucking WIN
( op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

YEAH?!

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

I had this earlier
Although not the lime.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

I may have more

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

why do you have to be so competitive?
all this "for the fucking win." You're not impressing anyone with your petty oneupmanship, you know.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

WIN WIN WIN!!!
YEAH! VICTORY! NUMBER1! NO PRIZE FOR SECOND!
( op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

god bless deletion

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

Deletion is not cool :(

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

god bless deletion

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

I too like pop music and Lady Gaga
She is purdy.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

What is your opinion on her dress sense?

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

Weird
But she kinda suits it.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

:D
I liked her sparking chest piece from the Glastonbury set!
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

I haven't seen any of the Glastonbury stuff
I did hear about it though. I luff her.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

I'm going to see her very soon!

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

Bitch

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)