He's not really up there with the big boys when you think about it
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:35,
archived)
How very dare you defame the iconic godly Brian Blessed ;)
haha
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:38,
archived)
oh i love the Brian too
but are you seriously trying to tell me he wouldn't be in with a chance at the shot putt event?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:43,
archived)
Well of course he could fly over the shot putt field and plant the shot anywhere
he wanted.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:47,
archived)
hahahahahah!
Blessed would win.
He would win anything he's in.
He even one HIGNFY when he was the guest presenter.
:D
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:39,
archived)
He would win anything he's in.
He even one HIGNFY when he was the guest presenter.
:D
You posted that as a link down there... V
Well done for posting it twice I say. I couldn't get enough of it first time
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:28,
archived)
Cuntbubble
Fuck you. That was five minute's of hard graft I invested in that travesty of a pic and it didn't hyperlink below. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE MISSED IT. Did you think about that, hmmm? Did you?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:30,
archived)
It's more the 'being rumbled' matter
that's causing problems currently.
*checks for CCTV*
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:36,
archived)
*checks for CCTV*
It's OK I'm not meant to be here either.
Response paper to a Regional Strategy document to be written. God I have all of teh laughs, me.
Thank God for Spotify.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:36,
archived)
Thank God for Spotify.
To give you some indication of how bad things are today,
I've been forced to download an entire week's Archers' podcasts just to get me through the day.
Desperate Times, indeed.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:38,
archived)
Desperate Times, indeed.
Oh the humanity...
Right. B3ta break over due to hamtouching.
Him ^ , not me...
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:41,
archived)
Him ^ , not me...
Oh noes, I posted this yesterday
It's five minutes of hard work
I wouldn't want anyone to miss it, should I stick in a new thread?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:32,
archived)
I wouldn't want anyone to miss it, should I stick in a new thread?
yes
You should post it on the hour every hour for 7 days to ensure everyone can see it
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:33,
archived)
What an excellent idea.
People won't hate me for it will they?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:34,
archived)
How come I knew it was you from your handwriting?
I need to do some work.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:33,
archived)
hahaha, i don't know why but I find it easier to write in lower case on a tablet
on paper I write in capitals.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:36,
archived)
I kind of wish I'd done a better job with the font now...
Ah well, 'tis done.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:44,
archived)
No two kisses means that the disease spreads in a certain way ;)
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:37,
archived)
The WHO have just raised the Pundemic Alert to SUPER-AWESOME :D
Also, I'm a shit lurker :¬/
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:26,
archived)
for a moment I thought "The Who" and not the world health conspiracy organisation
which briefly confused me
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:32,
archived)
you're going to have to leave some puns for everyone else
you clever sod
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:26,
archived)
Spang
These reptillians started making trouble in the neighbourhood.
I got in one little conspiracy theory and my mom got scared.
And said you're moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:01,
archived)
I got in one little conspiracy theory and my mom got scared.
And said you're moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air
hahahaha
it would probably be better than the hitchikers film they made
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:13,
archived)
Unravelling, unfortunately...
I shall endeavour to rectify the situation with coffee.
You all good?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:31,
archived)
You all good?
Fine thanks sir!
Although my hands look like I've been washing them in a blender
after my ickle puppy has savaged them :)
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:32,
archived)
after my ickle puppy has savaged them :)
I fear I may have completely missed the point... or is that what they WANT you to think??
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:55,
archived)
You are that twatfeatures from The Apprentice last night
aicmfp
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:58,
archived)
Hahahah
"There's a village missing an idiot somewhere"
Alan Sugar. Comedian.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:00,
archived)
Alan Sugar. Comedian.
Yay Matrix South Park Icke this is what the crowds want!
I know I'm part of the crowd *click*
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:01,
archived)
Bin Dun? As in already posted
Not mine.. for your amusement...
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:54,
archived)
twunt
EDIT: How can you possibly ask "Bin Dun" when you know very well it's been done by someone else, because it's an image you've found, and not made?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:58,
archived)
tisk tisk, been here the best part of 2 years
yet you still don't know about /board etiquette
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:07,
archived)
/board is for stuff YOU made.
(See item 8 on this handy checklist wot I wrote).
If it's just stuff you found, then -- perhaps -- it's okay on /links. (But seriously, if it's been emailed to you, by someone who got it in email, from someone else who emailed it to them, .... then most people have probably seen it already!)
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:22,
archived)
If it's just stuff you found, then -- perhaps -- it's okay on /links. (But seriously, if it's been emailed to you, by someone who got it in email, from someone else who emailed it to them, .... then most people have probably seen it already!)
F-F-F-F-F-F-FAAAAAAILBREAKER!
this is made of win, and has been timed and placed well. If we were playing b3tapost streetfighter 2 turbo, this would be the dragon-punch-to-the-crotch-of-the-leaping-chun-li of posts.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:28,
archived)
then you have failed to understand the nature of this interweb massage bored
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:02,
archived)
Congratulations. No, really, I am very impressed. It's very good news. I'm genuinely happy. Look, this is my happy face.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:59,
archived)
CUSTOMER ANNOUNCEMENT. CUSTOMER ANNOUNCEMENT.
Has anyone lost an idiot. It's yay high and has a name tag with the name scowners. If it is your please come an collect it as our bin is already overflowing.
THank you for shopping at B3ta. Remember otter sharpening kits are on special offer.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:09,
archived)
THank you for shopping at B3ta. Remember otter sharpening kits are on special offer.
Meanwhile at David Ickes Birthday Party, The guest of honour arrives.
( , Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:49, archived)
( , Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:49, archived)
sex wee
A good phrase. I still hate Leigh Francis.
Hate is a strong word that fits this.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:53,
archived)
Hate is a strong word that fits this.
I'm trying to ride on your coat-tails and aspire one day to your level of front- and popular-pagedness
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:47,
archived)
i wish the royal family were reptiles, that would be so badass
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:53,
archived)
I tell you what guys
I think Icke might not have all his marbles.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:48,
archived)
It appears to be this way
either that or we are all being mind controlled by the Illuminarti lizard aliens and we don't really know it, thinking our every action is perfectly normal and reasonable when in fact it's David Icke who is the only one who can see the reality as it is - or some shit like that. :D
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:51,
archived)
Maybe this is all part of his wider plan.
I for one have bought his 15 hour lecture DVD (he really needs an editor) and all his books (does he have books?) as a result of this image challenge.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:52,
archived)
Yes apparently he has books
as for editing his DVD this is blasphemy tantamount to censorship his every syllable is sacred.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:57,
archived)
IGGY!
I used to have one called Fido. I took her for walks in the park:)
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:49,
archived)
Heh!
TJ - Sorry to TJ, but there's a shocking "photoshop disaster" in today's Sun...
Warning, link contains shocking photoshopping, and also a male torso which may be NSFW, and also it's a link to The Sun FFS!
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/article2403514.ece
I know we don't expect much from the supersoaraway rag, but this is ridiculous.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:51,
archived)
Warning, link contains shocking photoshopping, and also a male torso which may be NSFW, and also it's a link to The Sun FFS!
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/article2403514.ece
I know we don't expect much from the supersoaraway rag, but this is ridiculous.
I can't see it, is it the Allan Sugar pic, they've shopped his head and ahand on to a scrotum?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:52,
archived)
Fuck budgies
They said I wasn't good/sleazy enough. The fucking cunts.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:29,
archived)
haha the more I hear about David Icke the weirder it gets
the trouble is in all these video links that people like Catnipppp post David Icke really tries to sell himself as so misunderstood and it's all very plausible that Alien Lizard people rule the world through organisation like the Illuminarti and the Royal family. When will the men in white coat appear to take him away - because if anybody else were publicly saying weird shit like this they would be sectioned for their own safety.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:42,
archived)
I suppose it's all just as plauable as if there's was a huge man
who had a kingdon in they clouds and if you are good you get to live there forever when you die.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:44,
archived)
I'm an dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac.
I lie awake at night wondering if there's a dog.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 11:07,
archived)
Then religion goes and tells science it's full of crap
as they found something they interprited in a book rather than bothering with that silly evidence thing.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:53,
archived)
Billy Connolly on religion FTW:
"If ye walk into a hospital and tell them that god talks to yer, they don't let you out!"
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:45,
archived)
the nervouse breakdown I had has helped me to see
that I'm not really Jesus... but the world is ruled by secret lizards
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:46,
archived)
His original mentalness on Wogan
was much better than his subsequent mentalness
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:53,
archived)
The whole thing is a joke.
hostel number
[tab]
Username
{tab tab}
Password
[tab tab]
Code
[tab tab tab tab]
Login.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:40,
archived)
[tab]
Username
{tab tab}
Password
[tab tab]
Code
[tab tab tab tab]
Login.
EXACTLY!
I think maybe there's secret links to a new world order. Meh, I'll just bypass them.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:41,
archived)
For some reason I read that as I lfe furry boobs.
This is b3ta after all. You watch. That'll be my entry on stats board.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:46,
archived)
I'm fine thanks.
Is it beer time? I don't know why but I've been up hours and keep checking the yardarm but it's always still stupid o' clock. I don't half fancy a beer.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:07,
archived)
if memory serves
you're supposed to get your first measure of rum at about 11... I think...
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:11,
archived)
11 is acceptable.
But if I'm to have a beer now I my have to rethink my adoption of British Summer Time ;)
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:13,
archived)
Fist measure doesn't sound like very nice
EDIT: It's too early for me to be picking apart other people's spelling and grammar.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:16,
archived)
a fist of rum?
you've never heard that one.... it came about as a fair way to measure out the rum... one was required to plunge one's fist into the barrel and however much rum was displaced was the measure they were given... it's a very good technique.
*hopes he got away with it*
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:18,
archived)
*hopes he got away with it*
a fist of rum, and a shoeing of beer.
EDIT: Why, you sneaky ninja...
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:20,
archived)
EDIT: Why, you sneaky ninja...
it was my proof reader who made the changes
speak with my publishers if you have a grievance
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:25,
archived)
are you allowed to wear an over-sized glove?
such as found in the sport of boxing?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:26,
archived)
nope
that gets you 5 lashes... although the practice was taken out of use when people started injecting their hands with piss which made them swell to almost twice their size meaning that the sailor in question was too drunk and too cack handed to do their job properly.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:28,
archived)
a bold statement indeed
I take it you've never been to [insert region of choice here]
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:12,
archived)
i have indeed been to [region of choice]
but i find that [secondary option of arsehole location] has many more [random regionalised insult].
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:15,
archived)
you would say that coming from [where it is you come from]
you lot are almost as bad as [people from location 15 miles away from here]
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:17,
archived)
now that I can get on board with!
people from [15 miles away from initial region of choice] are well know to be absolute [general insult pertaining to local population].
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:21,
archived)
hey, I live in [secondary option of arsehole location]
and I object to [generalised stereotype of local population]
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:19,
archived)
my apologies for generalising
i have indeed found some poeple from [secondary option of arsehole location] are pleasant to be around, but most can be very [slight dig at physical features]
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:23,
archived)
Milton Keynes
Swindon
Luton
a mexican pig farm
South Oxhey on a friday night
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:15,
archived)
Luton
a mexican pig farm
South Oxhey on a friday night
I nearly moved to South Oxhey
The flat was lovely and I would have had a garden. However, I think I made the right choice as that place gives me the fucking fear at night
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:27,
archived)
I'm quite certain, within the next 5 years, it will be walled off and become a maximum security prison.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:31,
archived)
Obviously Smokey is.
He's an iconic truck driver! I just don't believe you have a dog.:P
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:16,
archived)
We've had a few dogs Smokey was the first and he's still with us
my Dad has two of our other dogs and poor Alfie the little Yorkshire Terrier was run down.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:19,
archived)
He's a right little character
and extremely friendly with anybody - a little too friendly he couldn't frighten a week old kitten he even ran away from a butterfly once (true fact)
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:20,
archived)
Infinite conspiracy theory
It's turtles all the way down I'm afraid.
(This worked better in my head, but was somewhat let down by my drawing skills)
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:59,
archived)
(This worked better in my head, but was somewhat let down by my drawing skills)
what's this?
Barbarossa has some sort of image which applies in this situation... that must be a first
:)
how are ya camp?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:05,
archived)
:)
how are ya camp?
:)
Today I will mostly be lurking, and also tomorrow, and then I'm going away for a week on top secret business*
* holiday
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:18,
archived)
* holiday
good show Sir
well - I hope that it all goes well for you and that you make it back without too many tatty knicknacks.
We'll miss you.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:19,
archived)
We'll miss you.
I'm going to Mexico City.
I got a really good deal on LastMinute.com. Apparently there have been a lot of cancellations...
Not really, I'm going to the Isle of Wight to dig myself in and wait for the zombie hoards to attack...
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:25,
archived)
Not really, I'm going to the Isle of Wight to dig myself in and wait for the zombie hoards to attack...
good plan
I'll be heading for Holy Island if and when it happens... I'm thinking the monks won't give us much hassle
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:35,
archived)
A very old one...
A pre-internet, pre-photoshop (almost pre-computer) newspaper cut out of Icke's face pritt-sticked onto a drawing, now scanned for your displeasure. (I have worked out that I made this in 1990 and scanned it in 2002, if anyone cares)
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:56,
archived)
A pre-internet, pre-photoshop (almost pre-computer) newspaper cut out of Icke's face pritt-sticked onto a drawing, now scanned for your displeasure. (I have worked out that I made this in 1990 and scanned it in 2002, if anyone cares)
:D
how did we ever get by without computers?
This is brilliant you cunting knob loon
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:58,
archived)
This is brilliant you cunting knob loon
In 2002 I wrote some words to accompany this image
Easter 2002
The Wasp Box's Easter message: Easter, the heart of Spring. Egg-laying bunnies, hot cross bonnets, chocolate-flavoured novelty breasts, nailing David Icke to a tree to expunge our sins, whilst thieves are given licence to steal our hearts and minds. Before the cock has crowed Wogan will have disowned him three times and Brian Clough will betray him. And our Pilot today, Captain Jimmy Hill, washes his hands -- in goat's piss. Three days later David rose from the grave to roam the Earth gorging on the blood of virgins and frightening old ladies with his space lizards and humongous, decomposing genitals. Is this what Easter means to you? To the Wasp Box it means four days off and the stench of rotting daffodils. A bearded messiah, son of man, preaching peace and love? The Wasp Box sees only war and wonderful sins of the flesh. The Wasp Box would have put him behind a bigger stone. And cut off his genitals so he can't breed. The Wasp Box has told you before, the Wasp Box is the second coming and it's polishing its sting in anticipation of summer.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:00,
archived)
The Wasp Box's Easter message: Easter, the heart of Spring. Egg-laying bunnies, hot cross bonnets, chocolate-flavoured novelty breasts, nailing David Icke to a tree to expunge our sins, whilst thieves are given licence to steal our hearts and minds. Before the cock has crowed Wogan will have disowned him three times and Brian Clough will betray him. And our Pilot today, Captain Jimmy Hill, washes his hands -- in goat's piss. Three days later David rose from the grave to roam the Earth gorging on the blood of virgins and frightening old ladies with his space lizards and humongous, decomposing genitals. Is this what Easter means to you? To the Wasp Box it means four days off and the stench of rotting daffodils. A bearded messiah, son of man, preaching peace and love? The Wasp Box sees only war and wonderful sins of the flesh. The Wasp Box would have put him behind a bigger stone. And cut off his genitals so he can't breed. The Wasp Box has told you before, the Wasp Box is the second coming and it's polishing its sting in anticipation of summer.
the words help
but not in the way you'd expect
all the naughty words have given me a chubby
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:08,
archived)
all the naughty words have given me a chubby
I too was distressed at the lack of bigger
I appear to have fucked up the scanning (in 2002 it seems)
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:01,
archived)
this would be worth seeing
was there a carry on up the Khyber? edit: yes.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:47,
archived)
it's the sound
of my facemask image being used in a comedy parody video
woo yay!
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:55,
archived)
woo yay!
:D
what what what? are you famous on TV or something... well regarded on the internet? Know within your district?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:59,
archived)
you know, I'm very disappointed with your attendance record on here lately.
I shall be writing a letter home regarding this matter.
:D
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:58,
archived)
:D
not too bad squire
arm injections aside. I talked myself out of going to see XMen Oranges last night.
What about you Sir - how does this morning find you?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:01,
archived)
What about you Sir - how does this morning find you?
all is pretty much well and good in Steveoville today!
how's your good self?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:53,
archived)
Yay! would have been a great film
and in Black and White all the best Carry On films were in B&W ;)
*click*
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:51,
archived)
*click*
They were that Maiden!
Mind you, being an old git. I loved 'em all. :D
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:53,
archived)
Yes as an old git myself
I too enjoyed the originals - Then I saw that new one they tried to do with Julian Clarey et al and it was pretty shit.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:55,
archived)
hahahahaha
I do hope Kenneth Williams is in it - possibly as the governor.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:55,
archived)
Ninj!
Hallo me beauty...
:D
I'm grand, thanks.
How's you? How's the gout?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:45,
archived)
:D
I'm grand, thanks.
How's you? How's the gout?
Fine ta...
...bless you! Gout gorn for the minute. Just the puppy bites. Everyone thinks I'm 'Self-Harming'!
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:47,
archived)
I burnt myself across my wrist, getting something out of the oven the other day.
It looks like I tried to cut my own hand off, all scabby and weepy. Nasty.
I feel your pain...
:D
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:49,
archived)
I feel your pain...
:D
I'm sorry it's just not funny to poke fun at the many families torn apart by fish altzheimers
woo. I bought some lully fishies yesterday:)
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:45,
archived)
it's a carrot fish, yes.
It would actually be a nice shot in there were more feesh in there.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:04,
archived)
It is a commonly held fallacy that goldfish have short memories
Negative stereotypes like the one pictured only help to keep this myth alive.
(also woo)
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:45,
archived)
(also woo)
Rather clement at present.
The weather's wonderful too, looks like it's going to be another scorcher in Norfolk.
Everything's super!
:D
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:58,
archived)
Everything's super!
:D
haha
at least he wouldn't get embarrassed about it give him 5 seconds and the whole incident will be forgotten.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:45,
archived)
Nice
If i go postal today and take my own life, tell them i thought they were all zombies
Probably it from me today
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:46,
archived)
Probably it from me today
Woke up with sinuse pain and dry eyes, fine
Got to work and the pricks have covered over where i am working and it now means it is going to take me twice as long
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:54,
archived)
Doesn't your Dad run the business?
Have him kick them up the arse.
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:57,
archived)
So i will be staying off here, if anyone should want me (very much doubt it) you know how to get hold of me
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:01,
archived)
not too bad thanks
just had an arm load of vaccinations so I'm feeling a little bit woozy... but there's no fucking marks so I'm not likely to get any sympathy.
The nurse said I weas very brave though. Bless her
how's you ya little tyke?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 9:57,
archived)
The nurse said I weas very brave though. Bless her
how's you ya little tyke?
He's great! He was one the other day... the last year has flown by!
We've now got a walking, almost talking escapologist on our hands...
Jabs? You going somewhere nice?
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:02,
archived)
Jabs? You going somewhere nice?
\o/
great news... escapology is a good career to get into too :)
I'm away to Vietnam for a wee while (and other places but Nam's where I need the jabs for)
off in a couple of months :)
( ,
Thu 30 Apr 2009, 10:15,
archived)
I'm away to Vietnam for a wee while (and other places but Nam's where I need the jabs for)
off in a couple of months :)
« Older messages | Newer messages »