You don't stop the bacon, one must endure ;)
This makes me laugh everytime
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:22,
archived)
Hahaha
Although officially I hate this picture cos it knocked me off the top of an image compo one time...
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:25,
archived)
'ningles all.
These people do like rip of b3ta ideas.
www.noisebot.com/push_button_receive_bacon_t-shirt.htm
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:54,
archived)
www.noisebot.com/push_button_receive_bacon_t-shirt.htm
Eyes, nothing wrong wiff my eyes offices , Eye's fine!, fine I is, (twitch), I love the Police, can I have your eyes? I love you..
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:10,
archived)
Drugstable? The best place to get your horse tranqs!
That reminds me...ta!
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:25,
archived)
Top tip: never ask a copper whether he thinks a tiger would win in a fight against a bear, if you are tripping off your neck and the buttons on his uniform are glinting in the moonlight.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:18,
archived)
Bears win every time
It was on QI.
Well, they were doing bears vs lions, and bears always won, and what have tigers got that lions don't have?
Except stripes, obviousement.
/goes back to lunch.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:19,
archived)
Well, they were doing bears vs lions, and bears always won, and what have tigers got that lions don't have?
Except stripes, obviousement.
/goes back to lunch.
Amur tigers are a bit bigger than lions,
but still not big enough though. Also, tigers can swim.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 13:46,
archived)
I'm sure he would have seen the funny side... It's not like the police are a vindictive bunch
:D
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:24,
archived)
*glares*
You will witness the firepower of this fully operational death-egg
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:21,
archived)
needs more Grange Hill Sausage on a fork
hehe he's definetly not sticking to that healthy eating he keeps preaching about - yay for National Lampoonage. ;)
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:01,
archived)
Make sure you get them in his mouth-eyes...and not his eye-mouth
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:07,
archived)
Holy Shit!
His face if "Oll-Over" the place!
Nicely done magic one!
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:15,
archived)
Nicely done magic one!
hahahha!
trying to be healthy, I have a banana, two apples and a glass of water.
Starbucks is 5 seconds from my office and it is tempting me with over-priced high calorie beverages, and pastries.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:04,
archived)
Starbucks is 5 seconds from my office and it is tempting me with over-priced high calorie beverages, and pastries.
The cigarette to food ratio appears to be pretty high
Morning, are you well?
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:12,
archived)
My God... it's full of lard *copycat*
- I think my pun was truly offal
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:52,
archived)
oh dear
i just found this its amazing how much sausage stuff i have already
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:56,
archived)
i just found this its amazing how much sausage stuff i have already
sometimes it's not cats that are the danger at the bird table
Edit : Oooo, 6 years!
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:47,
archived)
Edit : Oooo, 6 years!
I would pay money for sausage skins that blew up into the shape of pigs
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:23,
archived)
...steady on
You always have to go one better don't you.... you twat
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:31,
archived)
Saves time I applaud his ingenuity
we should now go on to develop a device for this
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:34,
archived)
that's a horrible thing to say
why are you being so nasty to me
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:36,
archived)
Beacuse you're an easy target
and you have a sign on your back saying "I want to be internet bullied" in green crayon.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:39,
archived)
I JUST KICKED MY MONITOR ONTO THE FLOOR AND DID A RUNNING LEG DROP ON IT!!!
and my dad's taller than your dad.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:34,
archived)
With your pockets turned out and your cock out yer flies too!
My word! You do follow the latest Parisian fashions don't you.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:42,
archived)
I want to know how many of the tea+monitor moments really do end with
people sitting in dumbstruck laughter with tea dripping down their monitor. The best I've managed to get out of my most giggly mate is wine out of his nose. Maybe I'm just not funny.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:39,
archived)
I think approximately
zero. My, admittedly limited, experience of people and their ways is that most people are generally able to appreciate a good joke without shooting beverages all over the place.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:42,
archived)
It's all japery until...
And your dad has to build scaffolding to get your balloon back.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:42,
archived)
And your dad has to build scaffolding to get your balloon back.
The goodness of this substantially compensates for all the bad things that have ever happened.*
*May contain slight exaggeration. But it's very good.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:48,
archived)
Fantastic - Iaughed hard,,,
However - I have a couple of complaints...
1) I tried this earlier - it didn't work. Is there a special technique?
2) I now have tapeworm.
( ,
Wed 26 Aug 2009, 8:04,
archived)
1) I tried this earlier - it didn't work. Is there a special technique?
2) I now have tapeworm.
Fear leads to Banger.
Banger needs to Cremate.
Cremate leads to Suffering
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:13,
archived)
Cremate leads to Suffering
The gristle is strong in this one.
/just to piss Barbarossa off blog ;)
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:20,
archived)
Yep me too.
Although I am managing to plough through a fair amount of administrative rubbish today so I don't feel too guilty...
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:00,
archived)
we should start a company and complain about the lazy work ethics
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:02,
archived)
I used to work in Ethics
I thought people were lazy there, but that was before I moved to Thuthics...
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:12,
archived)
Whoooah there!
It's good, but I know it's exciting being finally able to post and that, but don't use up all your hummus all at once... ;)
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:57,
archived)
Aw give him a break...
He's recovering from having posted enormous versions of these over on /links. Two in a row is OK for busting one's cherry I think.
But a third - flame on!
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:59,
archived)
But a third - flame on!
its not an Anti Labour competition
please include hatred toward all parties equally
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:03,
archived)
Steady on, noob.
Let someone else have a shot, or you will be.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:07,
archived)
Chewster!
Welcome sir! I have a feeling you'll be very happy here. Don't be afraid to post some of your foxes, widlife is very popular here.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 12:53,
archived)
hahaha! top work!
welcome to b3ta, wear a cat as a hat and put your feet up on a seat, you'll never leave.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:54,
archived)
hahahah! *Launches a full salvo of Intercontinental Spanging Missles*
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:43,
archived)
If you spang me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine...
( , Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:44, archived)
( , Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:44, archived)
hhahahahahah! Haha, hahar, harr, haarrr, arrgghh, ARRRGHHH!! *goes postal with a spanging pan*
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:45,
archived)
can anyone inform me by the source of this pic and why it's a bandwagon?
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:38,
archived)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMOm6cERZWw
...as to why it's a bandwagon - who can ever tell with these things.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:43,
archived)
...as to why it's a bandwagon - who can ever tell with these things.
O lord...
Duh! that's why you use Sunglasses to cover it up! :-). It's a stupid bandwagon.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:57,
archived)
I think I'm undead. I'm still typing and working, but I'm turning green and there is an odd smell. I could also really go for some braaaaaiiiinnnsss right now.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:26,
archived)
have you ever SEEN a scifi/comic/movie convention?
Romero had it spot on, only it's not "Brrrrraaaaaiiinnnsss", it's "Meeerrrrrccchhhaaaannndddiiiiccceeeee!"
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:40,
archived)
this...
and I'm now on a more open/public workplace so I can't photoshop anymore
(like that matters for b3ta :( )
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:28,
archived)
(like that matters for b3ta :( )
'ning mr OP
I'm having a job interview next friday...and still have to make it trough the week....my boss is giving me shit workloads of bullshit for shit customers. Please advice how to live trough the period.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:19,
archived)
it only scares the rats away...
I need higher quality solutions!!!
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:50,
archived)
i would say land the job first
tell them you need 2 months notice, right?
then wait a month before you tell your bastard boss and just behave like a real git. I mean a real git big time. But get the job first. We here at b3ta will ease your passage like warm vasaline.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:21,
archived)
then wait a month before you tell your bastard boss and just behave like a real git. I mean a real git big time. But get the job first. We here at b3ta will ease your passage like warm vasaline.
There could be a flaw in this plan
If he gets the other job they will presumably take up references after offering it to him. His employer will know about it well before the first month is up.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:24,
archived)
This needn't matter. As soon as the refs go through, then it's plain sailing.
It means that at the very least the last three weeks can be fun fun fun.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:35,
archived)
Yes but I mean it won't be a surprise for the boss when he has been asked for references
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:40,
archived)
Well this is true.
But that in itself would technically make it more fun.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:57,
archived)
Haha, yes!
Pretend you don't know anything after your boss has already sent said references, then give the bare minimum notice requirement.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 10:15,
archived)
Assuming that the boss doesn't wait until you are about to leave to do the reference.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 11:25,
archived)
Well I'm on a internship contract...so I could be gone in a week or two.
You're right..I'm waiting till I get a job...still can't wait to get out of this wannabe online master of the universe wanker company.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:37,
archived)
more like the female version of skeletor
I said 'wanabe' ;). If they were it would be kickass and I would drive a green tiger to work.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:48,
archived)
Advice from "Just another guy off the interwebs™ ":
on the recieving end of too much bullshit? Either get a shovel, or start spewing the stuff out yourself. Managers are two dimentional and suffer from delusions of grandeur. Speak enough bulshit and they will love you.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:24,
archived)
My current boss (who should be running the ocmpany) acts like a media manager..and fucks everything up.
SO we have to make overtime...while we have shitloads of time to finish and fix things. Our fricking pitch process is fucked, and yes she exist entirely out of faeces and hot air.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:34,
archived)
cor, your office must be fun when the aircon' breaks :D
I've found over the years, the less work I do, the more bosses like me. Now either I'm getting better at spreading out my work and doing the bear minimum, or they hate everything I do.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:36,
archived)
I'm a proud practitioner of that 'Dilbert' theory.
Still...they are nagging the hell out of me.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:39,
archived)
slip some laxatives into the drinking water and coffee supplies.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:46,
archived)
buy a child's bontempi organ
and play that in the office
and if anyone complains
go "AHHH!" point into the air
and then go to your desk and blast off a quick bossa nova*
(* it is unknown if this is a euphemism for masturbation)
and from henceforth, communicate only using the audible potential of the bontempi organ.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:58,
archived)
and if anyone complains
go "AHHH!" point into the air
and then go to your desk and blast off a quick bossa nova*
(* it is unknown if this is a euphemism for masturbation)
and from henceforth, communicate only using the audible potential of the bontempi organ.
hahahahhahahaha! what an awesome thing to log on to and see :D *click*
ningles everyone!
I've had to move desk AGAIN. I hate change.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:21,
archived)
I've had to move desk AGAIN. I hate change.
are you like that bloke out of office space?
burn down the office, that is the answer always.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:22,
archived)
damn... actually i am... I even have an official red swingline stapler (I keep it at home now as I fear it's impending theft)
....now where are those matches?
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:26,
archived)
Milt,
we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:31,
archived)
I feel like this
downloaded all the Hellraiser movies...and still had to scuffle trough it..till 3 a clock. NOw I'm kinda ssrry about that...with this huge workload.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:15,
archived)
Sorry for the threadjack but...
Just got linked to this from an email mailer and wondered if b3tans might wanna get in on the action with some cdc-based buggy designs!
Winner gets a full-size MySims Racing Buggy.
www.moviecomps.com/msr/win.html
Losers also get a free ten pin bowling voucher.
You can download the pdf and then upload it via the web to enter apparently.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 9:15,
archived)
Winner gets a full-size MySims Racing Buggy.
www.moviecomps.com/msr/win.html
Losers also get a free ten pin bowling voucher.
You can download the pdf and then upload it via the web to enter apparently.
I feel good that I never had that happen.
Or maybe I had a night like that, but forgot it.
Really woo!
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 16:34,
archived)
Really woo!
bob dylan!!!!!!!!!!!!! in my car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 8:18,
archived)
i just heard him on radio 2
no one will be able to understand their satnav's if he did the voice of it.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 8:21,
archived)
Weeha gunha beah sstuphan fuh fud, uhh heah.
-repeats to bridge-
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 8:25,
archived)
I spent hours this morning trying to splice in a bit from the end of 2001.
Virtual Dub wouldn't do it because of different frame rates.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 7:34,
archived)
Oh, and some of that shit too.
You'd be king of the rave with glowing eyes that projected text in the air like that.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 7:37,
archived)
Oh, good choice.
That just might slow me down after all these Uppers and ether.
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 8:30,
archived)
How many roads must a man drive down
Before you can call him lost?
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 7:36,
archived)
The answer is ... hang on ... drive directly into the tornado...
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 7:40,
archived)
The eyes have it.
and also, thank God I don't have a gps thingy
( ,
Tue 25 Aug 2009, 7:39,
archived)
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