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The marvellous masturbation metaphor generator
I made this!
Testing my theory than any combination of noun and verb can be a masturbation metaphor. Contains a list of common nouns and common verbs - spin the wheel and see what you get...
(safe for work)
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flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 23:09,
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'Knitting the daughter' sounds perfect!!
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Alzo wouldn't ride your mum into battle, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 23:16,
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took a couple of spins
but "exciting the wool" is a winner :)
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masakatsu best of all the burger meats, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 23:18,
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"Raising the pleasure"...
hahah - maybe a bit too literal!
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r2b2 has ear cataracts?!?, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 23:26,
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Thanking the meat...
This is a bit hit and miss, but good nonetheless...
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DanS like you've never DanSed before!, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 23:30,
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Damn
"Banning the Impulse"
hehe good work. My chemistry teacher used to always say that an experiment didn't have to provide the results you hoped for in order to be a success.
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zacherynuk @echo off, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 23:30,
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Tipping the rice.
Oh, yes.
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Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 23:31,
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Rejoicing the leather
and preceeding the burn,
This gets a click :D
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[DTMX] Fishing hook, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 23:35,
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charging the thing
nice
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harryfreeze Ignore, Hide, I like this!, Reply, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 23:35,
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That's top stuff
"Topping the discussion" for the kill
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Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 23:37,
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Wobbling the stone.
Oh yes.
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tomfacedkillah has not tossed a dwarf since, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 23:49,
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Judging the waste
We've all done it.
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meccadave, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 0:22,
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Murdering the Birth
Bloody hell.
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Fronkle99, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 0:35,
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This wins
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DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 1:18,
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Raising the notion or tickling the subject
F
T
W
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boyo81 was laying down his ordinance on, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 1:35,
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Emptying the mist.
Do I win anything?
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nowimboard shouted "Bring On The Trumpets!" at, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 7:26,
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After due consideration
My theory is definitely disproved in the universal form, but could be revived by replacing 'any' with 'most'.
I'm considering making a more reliable version with a slightly more focused list, but it would reduce the element of anticipation - two lemons or the jackpot?
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flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 9:30,
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I think you already won
The first time I tried, it gave me "Doubting the Self".
You'll be hearing from my therapist, you bastard.
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Wizlevard, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 21:24,
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I'd verb her noun
^ make that one.
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Lord Keeps meaning to procrastinate., Tue 15 Jul 2008, 10:45,
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Verbing weirds language.
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Grampa, Fri 1 Aug 2008, 3:04,
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*fixing the leather*
aaah that's much better
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 11:48,
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'attracting the produce'
mmmmmmmmm
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chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 12:46,
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Interrupting the Apparatus
genius!
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SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Tue 15 Jul 2008, 14:24,
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Just found my own favourite:
Tumbling the steel
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flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 14:32,
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Commanding the cook!
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flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 14:43,
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Mourning the love...eh?
awww....
ed: However 'Owning the Thing'... definitely!
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SenorPlankton is finding silly things to do ..., Fri 25 Jul 2008, 15:57,
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Draining the Balance....
...or indeed Satisfying the Cough
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slymove, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:05,
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From now on.....
I'll be tickling the relation.
If anybody wants me, I'll be in my room.
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Lord Blumpy is mildly off-topic on, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:07,
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Whirling the authority
/whirls
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Le Bon Bon suspects some kind of neutral plot, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:08,
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Irritating the secretary
was the best i got
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Iananan Formerly known as el-rodente, not that you care, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:12,
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trying the brother. bleeeeeeurgh
If I was fancying a bit of the old self mclovin' I doubt I'd want mention of brothers in there. Don't even have one either.
And as for "Appearing the judge"?!
This generator is broken....
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normix, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:13,
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Squeaking The Growth
Oh yes... that's the one
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tinyherb, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:18,
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First two:
"Delivering the growth" and "clearing the unit."
It works, by god.
edit: Not so great on the next few pulls, until "Terrifying the trade." Ha!
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Larry_Mudd, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:28,
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Shivering the instrument
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samjuk, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:48,
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That my friend is basically class.
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the_riviera_kid , anyone fancy making me a brew?, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:49,
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Claiming the gold.
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MrTrent cannot think of a clever sig., Fri 25 Jul 2008, 16:58,
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Returning the learning
nice
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Stephen Sondheim ..-. ..- -.- . -.- -.-- . .- ...., Fri 25 Jul 2008, 17:15,
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I can't go out tonight...
I'll be at home, 'wasting the rule'.
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Monsieur Mangetout confuses dreams and reality just like Dougal on, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 17:29,
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I'm busy destroying the base as I type.
With one hand.
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Scoobah, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 17:33,
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Playing the porter
Ooh err missus.
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Monsieur Mangetout confuses dreams and reality just like Dougal on, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 17:31,
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Frighten
The Nation
... Oh dear
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Faidman, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 17:39,
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"Applauding the growth" makes a lot of sense...
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bunni, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 18:19,
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Posting the Structure
great
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project-2501, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 18:23,
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Scratching the steel
woo!
/scratches his steel
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HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 18:28,
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Launching the punishment
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Adamsky, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 18:49,
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Tasting the profit!
Wow, it knows I sold my man-juice for beer money! Mmm that beer tastes so good.
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Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 18:49,
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Bubbling The Hole
Winner!
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ShaunyBoi has been surviving fires since, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 18:54,
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Squeaking the expansion
;)
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terrorbite, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 19:11,
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hahaha
that was funny. I'm off to delight my property.
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kingofpork is the king of pork, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 19:23,
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Jogging the paint!
nice
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Guardy, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 19:34,
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Draining the wood
now that's just too graphic!!! :-D
Nice work!
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once_upon_a_time, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 19:53,
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providing the lead
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deantastic, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 20:33,
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Bleaching the Judge
Inspired, well done.
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Araucaria is such a tit, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 21:05,
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Frightening the love??
I normally use a knife
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taxi for gubba, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 21:33,
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"Stirring the Bread"
Genius.
*EDIT* Ooh, followed immediately by "Firing the Money" - there's another shot on target. I love this tool, I could work it all day. Fnarr fnarr.
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superstoater is so mauve, you don't know what he's planning, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 22:24,
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Wow
Blessing the Crime
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estuardo estuardo, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 22:48,
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Sawing the poison.
Mmhmm...
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Miss Maz, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 22:52,
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Arresting The Structure...
ARF. :D
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Alexander The Great, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 23:01,
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Flooding the linen
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pjxm, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 23:38,
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Parting the Trade???
I sound like a Labour Party Conference when I'm wanking!
...actually, that might not be far off the mark...
B
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ousgg is not seeking approval, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 0:29,
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"Missing the hole"
Never a truer word...
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Bueller, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 0:29,
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Living the Comfort
Strangely apt . . . .
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garrison, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 0:43,
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thesophie
I can't help but be a little perturbed by the 'eings'. eg Makeing, breatheing etc.
Still, bloody marvellous!
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thesophie .tumblr..com, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 1:34,
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'soothing the wood' is a definate win but
i don't know about 'washing the water'
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Rated Arrr for pirates and nudity, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 2:04,
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Harming the steel
Sounds rough
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Harleif Skankhammer II was killing time at, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 2:10,
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reflecting the industry
awesome!
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Astrid, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 2:13,
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Sucking the cork
was the best I got. I like it, marvellous.
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Black Moon Not cracked, I'm all up to be., Sat 26 Jul 2008, 2:18,
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Ah! The joys of the privileged few!
"Delighting the Silver"!
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tintinmilou, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 2:23,
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Spraying the country
and decaying the apparatus
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denki, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 5:49,
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deceiving the nation!
GWB's favorite pasttime? Or a little handball?
In fact, I think I'll start referring to it by names in W's administration:
- donning the rumsfeld
- dicking the cheney
- ricing the condi
- johning the ashcroft
and of course... georging the bush
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madrabbit is fully prepared, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 6:44,
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planing the attack
though I assume that should me 'planning'!
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jezmck .com, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 8:01,
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"Grating The Self"
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Marco Van Bastard, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 9:57,
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handling the salt!
haha!
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Orkran Mild Euphoria Ensues, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 16:30,
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my one sounds horrible but factual
Fetching the smell
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furey, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 18:33,
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Excercising the Steel
And Loving the Structure. Two for all those structural engineer wankers out there...
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Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 19:08,
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Completing the punishment
/completes
ahhhhh
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Hellzapoppin, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 19:51,
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Producing the Meal.
That's how I always think of it.
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kid_charlemagne is apparently still not dead yet., Sat 26 Jul 2008, 20:30,
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Wrestling the animal..
Like it!
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file_id.diz is going to need a bigger drill, Sun 27 Jul 2008, 0:58,
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'Handling The World'
so very very true
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catbrain likes the hairy scratchings bestest, Sun 27 Jul 2008, 13:27,
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For a Grrl "Appreciating the Friend" is very fitting. Yay works for everyone :)
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MissGwen, Sun 27 Jul 2008, 14:20,
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scratching the mind
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Vegard M Vindheim Fuck your dreams, Fuck your life., Sun 27 Jul 2008, 18:28,
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this is great
- ruining the discovery - but I wrote a poem on the same theme once, about someone having a wank in the very internet cafe in which I now sit, and I want you to put 'contacting the local council' in like I did. If you can. In a version 1.2 or something.
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sjflangehound, Sun 27 Jul 2008, 19:18,
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'knitting the ice'
HA! His drawers were full of knitted ice...
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sjflangehound, Sun 27 Jul 2008, 19:20,
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...
Whipping the Butter
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yiddo, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 14:27,
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"rejoicing the burst"
Oh, how true
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Super Jet Shoes, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 16:08,
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Failing the society?
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Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 18:53,
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Clickety Click
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to flap the fruit, iykwim aityd.
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404 Error File not found on, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 14:14,
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attacking the disease!
lol
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trickyric, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 16:58,
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Melting the respect.
so true, and I hate myself for it.
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Mr1Zillion&1, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 18:13,
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Exploding the Mine
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Cluckles, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 18:18,
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Listening to Armando Iannucci's Charm Offensive
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verbal, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 18:58,
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Fearing the reaction
It knows....
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k0k0them0nkey I've got agoraphobia...no...I really do, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 17:03,
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God is watching.
"Stir(r)ing the shame"
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sliderulesyou, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 21:20,
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Even more spookily accurate:
"Parting the hate."
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sliderulesyou, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 21:25,
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"Killing the death"?
I'm afraid to go near myself.
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Sir Harrington Titsmith disgraced himself on, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:41,
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"Correcting the expansion"
Fnar.
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Sir Harrington Titsmith disgraced himself on, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 16:45,
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"Fearing the smell..."
depends what you eat, apparently....
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goatse gazer, Fri 1 Aug 2008, 0:31,
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Kudos.
I love this.
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Grampa, Fri 1 Aug 2008, 2:37,
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Bruising the respect
so true *sob sob*
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w3rthers because you're someone very special too, Fri 1 Aug 2008, 16:25,
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'signaling the disease'
Cheerio i'm off to the clinic
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catbrain likes the hairy scratchings bestest, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 12:36,
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WTF?
Stroking the father?
Oh dear.
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RobDonkey, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 19:05,
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Preferring the Quality.
I love it.
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Ellinikos contains a source of phenylalanine, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 5:28,
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ooh!
Punishing the thunder!
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Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Fri 13 Mar 2009, 23:52,
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For those of you not getting laid:
Battling the dust
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Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Sun 15 Mar 2009, 1:35,
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Oh yes. Oh yes indeed.
Harming the society.
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StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Mon 16 Mar 2009, 0:45,
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