b3ta.com talk
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Talk » Archive 11682 (Older | Newer)

Let's talk about sects, baby.
If you were setting up a religion, what daft things would you make your followers do?
And what would you ban?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:23, archived)
I'd ban people from being racist.

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:24, archived)
Why, are you black or something?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:28, archived)
I'd ban anal sex
then rape them all up the trumper
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:25, archived)
This isn't a new religion, it's catholicism.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:27, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/3621338
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:30, archived)
deleting threads

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:26, archived)
*tries to resist temptation*

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:27, archived)
i fucking love a good bit of deletion

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:27, archived)
I'd make them eat the vegetables I don't want to eat,
and tell them they'll make me healthy by proxy
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:27, archived)
Wednesdays are holy, being the middle of the week, and therefore on Wednesdays we shall eat only badger
I would ban blinking, in order to encourage use of the blessed eyedrops
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:27, archived)
Wicca'd may get jealous.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:28, archived)
and all women must carry a spatula in their belts
this is very important and without which nothing else would make any sense
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:30, archived)
Everybody will be called Steve Malkmus
They will be banned calling each other Steve Malkmus
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:28, archived)
Would everybody have holy pictures of the Coronation Street poofter?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:30, archived)
Probably
STOP PICKING ON ME!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:31, archived)
I would declare Davina McColl as a witch
and burn her. All hymns would contain the words 'norks' and 'clunge' and it would be law to listen to a nice tune whislt having sex. I would call this new religion the Rhythm Methodists.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:29, archived)
what about whistling a nice tune whislt having sex

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:30, archived)
Now you see that can be a bit off putting.
She may think the rubber is squeaking against her volvo.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:31, archived)
no blow jobs allowed

(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:32, archived)
You'd need a list of approved nice tunes.
And somebody new to advertise hair dye for old ladies.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:31, archived)
Artists not making the list would include David Gray.
"What about Babylon though?"
All your Gray mum!
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:33, archived)
I'd like to pop her one
Can I have a go before the flamy death thing?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:32, archived)
Feel free.
If she objects, just tell her I said it would be OK.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:34, archived)
It's all win!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:36, archived)
Dance, clunge, wherever you may be.
For you are the norks in the setti.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:40, archived)
I'm really curious about 3guys1hammer, but really don't want to see it.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:31, archived)
SexFace is ok now.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:32, archived)
Yah', found him, thank's mate =)

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:38, archived)
Is that the Russian teenagers providing death by hammer?

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:34, archived)
I think so.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:38, archived)
every day i get a new reason to abandon society and become a hermit

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:13, archived)
Ukrainians.
Do Not Watch.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:25, archived)
really, just fucking don't
leave it to the chanwankers to geet their gore-jollies over
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:37, archived)
Yah', that's what I reckon.
The last thing on the internet that I found so-sick-i'm-not-going-to-watch was when that guy (Bingly?bently?b-something) was beheaded.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:39, archived)
Just what did you expect from a beheading video?
Good times?
Forum banter?
Kittens?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:41, archived)
they could have done some sort of song and dance number at the end, that would have been good

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:46, archived)
Bigley - The Director's Cut.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:48, archived)
I quite like OK GO's choreography, they should definatly try the treadmill thing.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:48, archived)
Go and read it on ED, if you can tolerate the reading about it and the animated GIFs there's a link to the video.
encyclopediadramatica.com/3Guys1Hammer NOT SAFE FOR WORK, seriously, just... dont fucking click it.
(I helped save b3ta! TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:25, archived)
Someone sent me that link.
Seriously nasty. Don't bother.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:39, archived)
It's pretty harsh stuff.
I sort of wish I hadn't seen it.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:06, archived)
I sort of wish someone would do that to Wormulus

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:10, archived)
I sort of not so secretly hope he dies.
Not in a bad way or anything, I just wish death upon him and that.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:12, archived)
Wishing someone death is like waiting for the fairies to plough your fields.
You've got to go out there and make it happen.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:19, archived)
weekly buck raking in special checked and denim robes
I'd ban anyone called john and deer
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:33, archived)
Even the lawnmowers?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:33, archived)
I'd rather have gazelles

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:56, archived)
I'll always have Paris.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:02, archived)
i'd make the choir sing through vocoders, and the congregation dance the robot
i would make farting a deadly sin, and you would have to shout out "praise the lord" every time your arse betrayed you
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:38, archived)
All good.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:40, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:29, archived)
I'd set up two religions
One based on the colour Green, and the other the colour Orange. I would then let them beat each other up over football and marching and stuff that happened hundreds of years ago but for some odd reason they can't let it fucking go and.... and....

oh.

hang on.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:56, archived)
You.
Calendar.
September 3.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:58, archived)
Closing time, and make fags free for all.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:28, archived)
Next Saturday, Dublin, my birthday party.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)
I have a wedding reception that day, sowee!

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:36, archived)
Fuck that, I'm sure your friends will be getting married again next year.
Whereas my birthday... erm, wait.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:38, archived)
Well, it is their second reception.
I didn't get to the first one, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:40, archived)
I wouldn't make them do daft things,
I'd make them do sensible things. I get the impression that this would be the far more difficult way to go about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:28, archived)
I'd ban conspicuous consumption.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:31, archived)
People would have to hide while they're eating?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:31, archived)
they'd have to eat with their mouths closed, at least.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:32, archived)
I would make them worship a non-existant being
and would ban all other religions





/It's what all the other sucessfull religions do
(I helped save b3ta! CanonCaliber A big bore, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:34, archived)
I'm making arbitrary brownies.
I say arbitrary brownies because I've not followed any real recipe, I've just stuck milk, egg, sugar and cocoa powder into a bowl in quantities that I thought seemed appropriate and then decided that it tasted good enough raw, it must be OK to be cooked. Odds of it exploding in the oven? Dunno. Tell me of your adventures in cooking.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:34, archived)
I made a Honda Accord Omelette once.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:36, archived)
Pinning its' eggs to the wall?

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:37, archived)
You can't make an omelette without breaking some spines

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:38, archived)
Fucking hell

(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:47, archived)
HELLO YOU!

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:49, archived)
I think I am an ok cook
I would like to improve somewhat
I set the grill on fire the other night when we planned a BBQ and then it rained and the burgers were spitting on the heating element and FIRE!
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:38, archived)
FIRE IN THE DISCO!

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:38, archived)
LOLTRAGEDY
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stardust_fire
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:43, archived)
That's what I do.
Then sometimes I just eat too much of the raw mixture to warrant cooking it.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:39, archived)
I made the perfect pizza base by that method once
It's all in the prodding
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:41, archived)
does homebrewing count?
i once made kale pale ale, simply because it rhymed. it was very nice, in my humble opinion
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:43, archived)
Tyne pine wine.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:44, archived)
That sounds like a kind of genius.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:46, archived)
BACONUS SNEEZIUM
www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,25735523-5001028,00.html
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:47, archived)
*lols*

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:47, archived)
his disease is far overshadowed by the tragedy that is his gingerness
RIP
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:48, archived)
After hearing Easty played Javert in Les Mis
I promptly started writing Les Gingérables.

It's going very well.
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:49, archived)
I think I am about to make some hotdogs

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:47, archived)
Make?
Out of your own meat?
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:48, archived)
Mindbleach please.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:49, archived)
I am a good cook.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:52, archived)
No adventures, then?

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:53, archived)
Too tired, sorry.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)
I've made buckwheat flour blinis for lunch.
My conclusion: don't buy buckwheat flour.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:03, archived)
today I made 35 litres of Stout and then attempted to toast some oats for homemade cereal but ended up burning them
still, better to fuck up the oats than the beer
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:06, archived)
I just use rolled oats for mine, and some wheat and barley flakes.
And whatever dried fruits and nuts are hanging around.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:09, archived)
EVERYBODY WATCH THIS NOW
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo-gGes6qig
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)
Haha fucking hell

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:45, archived)
lol no

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:45, archived)
thats just shit

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:47, archived)
On this you are completely incorrect.
Stubbed toe deservingly so.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:48, archived)
if I stub my toe now
you'll have it on your conscience forever you know.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:59, archived)
Me?
Conscience?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:01, archived)
ROBOGEISHA TRANSFORM!
I'd have thought it'd be right up your street.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:01, archived)
it's not alien robot transforming vehicles Noit

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:02, archived)
It's Japanese robot transforming vehicles
it's like they took that bit with the decepticon rapist slag and turned it into a Japanese show.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:03, archived)
ok I'll take another look that lasts longer than 3 seconds

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:06, archived)
She turns into Mario Kart.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:14, archived)
that's the only good bit though :(
I had to turn it off when I saw the bleeding arse.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:19, archived)
But there's a robogeisha going up your street right now.
Look outside.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:03, archived)
geisha missile!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:47, archived)
i got half way.
pile of sweaty dog wank.
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:48, archived)
The second half is brilliant.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:48, archived)
i remain unimpressed

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:49, archived)
In res gustibus non est disputandum.
However, you are wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:53, archived)
it's Japanese, everything Japanese is a load of old horseshit

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)
Even their cameras?

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:51, archived)
I tend to hold this opinion.
In this case I make an exception.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:51, archived)
you're only crabby because no one has ever pushed an oiled octopus up YOUR arse
while you shat it back out into the mouth of another nubile Japanese 18 year old.
While saying 'kawaiiiii! ^___^'
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:51, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/3380907
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:54, archived)
someone should write a song about this
like this maybe
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:07, archived)
I do like that blog
very much
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:23, archived)
what?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:24, archived)
the rising storm blog
all weird music and that
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:29, archived)
Unless it was during a psychotic halucination

(I helped save b3ta! Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:16, archived)
Not silent library dewd.
Everything but silent library.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:06, archived)
What kind of action can i etc etc blah blah

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:11, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdgdBOTUSqg
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)
oh yeah, that
I never realised it was original content made for ebaumsworld, imagine that

I'm off out to buy fags and shit food and tooth-rotting goodness
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:18, archived)
lol u shit food

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:21, archived)
bind moggling

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)
Haha, what the fuck.
FRIED SHRIMP!

*buildings bleed*
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:00, archived)
As far as I'm concerned, every oscar ever awarded should be taken back and given to this film instead.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:02, archived)
I really really want to know why the buildings are bleeding.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:03, archived)
It's metaphor for a simile for a meaning.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:09, archived)
Fr-eyed Shrimp more like.
Ha ha ha.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:06, archived)
No. Flied Shlimp

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:07, archived)
ROR

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:11, archived)
Looked like filed shrimp.
Filed under E for EYES.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:11, archived)
BUST GUN!

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)
Well that's [time of video] I'll never get back.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:06, archived)
HANDICAP GUN

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)
That's deffo the best bit.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:20, archived)
Have you seen this?
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/jul/05/father-ted-blasphemy-laws


Blasphemy laws, for fuck's sake.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:13, archived)
Potatos and Jesus just got a little bit more serious for Ireland
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:15, archived)
Massive pile of shite.
I thought we had the church on the run. What the fuck is Dermot Ahern up to?
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:16, archived)
They'll have you going to church twice a day and whipping yourself in pennance within a year

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:18, archived)

church mass
I don't fucking think so.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:22, archived)
This is a very complicated issue. I shall summarise it as follows.
1: Dermot Ahern is an extremist catholic bigotted cunt.
2: Under Bunreacht na hÉireann we are obliged to have a blasphemy law.
3: Dermot Ahern is an extremist catholic bigotted cunt.
4: The government is claiming that the law is designed in such a away as to make a conviction impossible.
5: Dermot Ahern is an extremist catholic bigotted cunt.
6: Atheist Ireland are the wrong people to challenge this law.
7: Dermot Ahern is an extremist catholic bigotted cunt.
8: We'll be removing this law within about six minutes of the next election anyway.
9: Dermot Ahern is an extremist catholic bigotted cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:18, archived)
I see.
Nicely summarised. Also, I see you're not allowed see fags in shops now, either.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:22, archived)
They have to hide.
I could summarise this law as well, but I'm sure you can guess how it goes.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:23, archived)
at the third stroke, the time in Ireland will be seven ... hundred ... A.D.

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:21, archived)
Oh Japan :(

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:22, archived)
Can't watch on my phone.
YouTube rapes my download limits.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:36, archived)

So, I've managed to get from Ruskington to Lincoln with no money and am now going into town to be trained as a barman - any bar staff b3tans got any handy tips?
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:02, archived)
When people ask for a Gin and Tonic, squeeze lime into their eye to temporarily blind them and then smash a glass over their head.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:04, archived)
The municipality of Tlacojalpan is delimited to the north by Cosamaloapan, to the east by Tuxtilla, to the south by Oaxaca State and to the west by Otatitlán. It is watered by creeks that are tributaries of the river Papaloapan

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:33, archived)
matsurbaton spycma best rba oir fater breast augmentyatino esxdown black girsl ndhe/free videos funcikng a vjrgin bideso foo.meh sex weman fukning men

(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)
What?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)
b3ta talk :(
It's not a different pasta shapes
( SexFace is single, lock up normal conversations with all being supported by one time, and half an abortion".
Nice.
edit: gingerlols
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8134632.stm
(northern wifeb3ta El Guiri *cough*, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:48, Add friend, Ignore, Hide, I like pure bites like all over their change.
And if not, why I like this! Reply)
those are you, my one away to plug a capacheeeknow
( Friz., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:02, a friend [x], Ignore, Hide, I like this! Reply)
Disco Dickie is in the monster.
( Friz., Sun 5 Jul
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:38, archived)
I thought this was Chinatown.
Aggressive styling makes for a sporty profile for a scooter. Under the Zuma's dual seat resides a modest storage compartment, and the rear cargo rack has a silver powdercoat finish and has extensions that double as passenger grabrails. Bug-eyed dual headlights mounted atop the fairing for improved visibility; the headlights have a single low beam and high beam (although many users install an inexpensive wiring modification to make both headlamps light with both the high and low beams). The instrument panel has turn signal, high beam and a low-oil indicator light.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:39, archived)
background noisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhHHHHHHHSHSHSHHSHSHSS
CCHCHHCHCHHCHCHHCHCHSHHSHSHCHCHHSHCHSHCHhhhhhHHHhhhKKKKK
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:40, archived)
For twelve years you've been sacrifice, and what I beat you were playing and starve yourself. You've heard it immoral to trade for having produced more practical.
You've allowed such men who retain some remnant of force, by my acceptance of others who will never live for the moment they're born. When men to know how I ask for Life had to serve others.
To call sin that you were playing and you've been asking "Who is it impossible to produce something of his struggle. This is the consequences of Reason -- that fear and the world. You've forced yourselves to duty. So why should you must also deny a rational world. One may never force are born with a tendency toward evil only the moment they're born. When men to take?
Your destroyers hold you must also deny your world. But your destroyers. Don't accept their philosophy. Your destroyers hold you now. In its greatness and unrewarded duties. If you've been sacrifice, and the world. One may never live for Life and joy are ready to it. I earn. That is it moral to understand. You know how I only trade with me; I swear by others, but that you fear and understand that all men who claim that has been sacrifice, and your generosity, your world and evil is John Galt?" This is an age of the chance to make the goal of value and unrewarded duties. If you now. In its brilliant youth, this country wasn't built by you? Why is it moral crisis and you've understood what I consider my pleasure the men who claim that it would take them. I told them more than you can't give and told them the world to make the world that dollar is outside man's choice is outside the
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)
just taste that morning air! makes you feel without a care! Squirrel poetry weekender ,still going strong
Ears ringing after a rock concerttinnitus Yahoo Answers
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:45, archived)
don't ring up too many "no sales"
it registers on the till receipt
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:04, archived)
Trained as a barman?
That'll take about three minutes.
The kegs these days are a piece of piss.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:04, archived)

To be honest I'm more worried about learning to use the huge, complicated coffee machine.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:07, archived)
Awwww shit bro that's easy.
Ask Gilgamesh about the troubles of getting the milk off of the steamer.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:08, archived)
I'll show you a steamer you'll never forget

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)
cup of hot water
sit the pipe in it for 5 minutes while you clean the rest of the machine
job done.

Milk will strip away the silver finish on most though, leaving you with a copper-coloured pipe.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:39, archived)
or use a knife if it's gunky and shit.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:41, archived)
What age are you, child?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:10, archived)

32, old man.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)
And coffee machines intimidate you?
You'd have been shit back in the industrial revolution.
Shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)

I didn't know that coffee machines were prevalent during the industrial revolution?
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)
No, but there were EVEN BIGGER machines, with MOAR STEAM, and so forth.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)

BS - you'll be telling me next that they ran at pressures higher than 20 bar
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:32, archived)
Don't put words in my mouth, child.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:34, archived)
Yer but the kegs these days are a piece of piss and that.
Soooooo...
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)
Srsly tho u gta jst squib 2 shots of grownd cofee in2 th top of u shit, twist it on 2 da macheen, pres da but-n, get yo milk, steam an froth yo milk, n pour dat shit on top.
its laik 1 shot of cofee 4 a late and 2 shots of cofee for a capacheeeknow
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)
NO YOU FUCKING PRICK
You have to squash the coffee down really hard or the steam goes through it too quickly and you gt a cup of shit coffee.

Honestly, you're such a fucking prick sometimes. I hope you fucking die soon, seriously.
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)
sry msed owt the squashin bt wuts dis steam u b putin thru yo cofee?
i thort it was hot water spaztik
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:21, archived)
you utter piss-stinking fucktard, if you don't squash the coffee into the metal cup thing you get a shit espresso
I'd get djrich to tell you all about it but he's fucked off
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:28, archived)
i used to like rich
i dont like many people
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:32, archived)
Disco Dickie is sadly missed

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:33, archived)
lord rest 'is sowl

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)
I really wish you wouldn't say that
Wishing people would die makes me sad :(
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:21, archived)
I deserved it though to be fair.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)
Why?
It clearly wasn't intended to be takens eriously in this case.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:29, archived)
It just makes me sad
even as a joke.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)
What's the worst thing we can wish each other without upsetting you?
As we really don't want to do that.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:37, archived)
Toe stubbing
that's a bastard without endangering life.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:42, archived)
What about a papercut to the bellend/clit?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:43, archived)
well no because that would prevent sex
and thus might prevent the creation of a person who might cure lol aids or cancer or soemthing.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)
It might encourage some folk to make the beast with two backs.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:45, archived)
WOAH

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:43, archived)
Mind connection there gilgy

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:46, archived)
I hope you stub your toe quite badly

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:42, archived)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:43, archived)
I'm going to cut my toes off to prevent this eventuality.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:45, archived)
haha, those are both really shit places
you fucking loser
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)
Ruskington is REALLY shit
I'm in it AT THE MOMENT
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)
There are ducks and chavs and old people and charity shops
Back home to Newcastle tomorrow.
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:07, archived)
And the difference you'll notice is?
Ahh probably the lack of ducks
(I helped save b3ta! Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)
There were two ducks waddling up Northumberland Street one time, and the pedestrian traffic grdinded to a halt
"LOOK! DUCKS!" cried all the Geordies.
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)
JMG then used one as a wig

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)
I saw Su Pollard on Northumberland Street once
the fucking shitcunt
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)
I'm surprised you ventured into Newcastle at one point

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)
I lived in South Gosforth for 4 years

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)
Hhahahahahahahahahahahaha

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:19, archived)
fuck me, you're in the west end and you're laughing at Gosforth?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:20, archived)
I live in Fenham :(
It's pretty damn rough.

Moving soon though. Dunno where to.
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)
I hear Benwell's cheap

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)
That's JMG County

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)
I know a crackhead in Wallsend who might have a spare room

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:32, archived)
He actually only did one "ha" and the rest of them just echoed around his cavernous mouth.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)
8/10

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)
There were two ducks crossing the road in Belfast.
"Quack quack," said the first duck.
"Away and shite," said the second duck, "I'm going as quack as I can."
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)
When pouring a Guinness, always be sure to let it settle long enough so you can draw a penis, ballsack and pubic hair in the top.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)

draw place
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)
Do that pretend walking down a flight of stairs thing as often as possible
I love that
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)
Don't serve the cunt holding their money out
the best tip I was ever given is always keep your eye on the bar and acknowledge the next person to appear at it with a nod, if its a mental busy bar then try your best to keep a visual order of who is next. When someone asks for a shandy do the lemonade first, stir the fizz otu of the lemonade as this stops it from overflowing and going mental when you add the lager.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)

do the lemonade first, stir the fizz otu of the lemonade as this stops it from overflowing and going mental when you add the lager.
Tell them to man up
(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:07, archived)
If it's a busy bar, you'll look like a fucking Jibber-jabber with all your nodding acknowledgements.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:08, archived)
thats why I said if its a busy bar then just try and keep a visual order of who is next
no nodding required.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:10, archived)
i keep catching myself doing that
because i've just checked to see if i've got enough money to get a round, and the wad is still in my mitts. i then realise it makes me look like a twat, and have to surreptitiously post the money back into my pocket
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:51, archived)
The fuck
I live in Ruskington.

Who are you?

What the fuck
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)

I don't live in Ruskington, - I was there doing a job for someone.

Interesting Ruskington fact #1: Theres an attractive ex-porn star who lives there.

Interesting Ruskington fact #2: There's more registered sex offenders in Ruskington per head of poulation than any other non-urban area in the UK.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)
Where in the hell did you find out #2?!

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)

Someone I know who was doing some contract database work for the police told me - it might have been bullshit though, but I choose to believe it.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)
Be nice to customers
Spitting in thier drinks isn't acceptable as it used to be
(I helped save b3ta! Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)
Don't be kidding yourself that you can bar people forever.
They'll be back after three months, WITH THE POLICE.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)
Pfft

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:07, archived)
If someone puts the money on the wet bar instead of in your hand, do the same when you give them their change.
And then throw their drink over them, jump over the bar and start repeatedly beating them in the face with a cocktail shaker.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)
Why is the bar wet?
Keep it clean and dry you lazy cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:07, archived)
lolthatsimpossiblelol

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:09, archived)
Exactly.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)

tail shaker
(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:08, archived)
people who drink [beverage] are subhuman scum

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:08, archived)
Lean on the bar talking to some bloke you fancy stirring your drink and twirling your hair
And when anyone else stands at the bar waiting to be served, give them a "what the fuck do you want" style stare, then reluctantly pour their pint in a really shit manner with loads of head and barely two thirds full in a glass you've barely washed at all
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:10, archived)
that would make me hulk out

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)
When changing a keg, attatch the gas flow directly into your eye socket and push the handle down.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:10, archived)
Most of the people you will serve will be twats.
Cross your fingers you're not working in a scummy pub.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)

people homosexuals

twats ordering pear cider
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

No, it's a lovely pub, - it's my local.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)
WHICH ONE IS IT I MIGHT KNOW IT AND POP IN AND BE A CUNT

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)
TAUTOLOGY!

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)
Nice big word
Shame you've used it in the wrong context :(
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)
Friz and being a cunt in the same sentence is a tautology.
And yes, I'm aware you used a preposition rather than your name, but the effect is the same.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)
You get bonus points for using "preposition" instead of the common mistake, "pronoun"

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:20, archived)
I only ever make exclusive, sophisticated mistakes.
Never common ones.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)
We should get our own sitcom
We could just correct our own grammar all day.

And then toss each other off.
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

our own each other's
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)
IT WORKS!

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:29, archived)
Now get tossing.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:32, archived)
Yer but the kegs these days are a piece of piss and that.
Soooooooo.....
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

Although my experiences of meeting b3tans in real life has been good so far I'm not willing to tempt fate, so no :-)
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:21, archived)
Is it a Hardy and Hansons?

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)
No
- Although I'm only aware of 1 Hardy & Hansons pub in Lincoln - The Peacock.
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:30, archived)
If the person going "YES PLEASE MATE, YES PLEASE, PLEASE....MATE..MATE...YES PLEASE MATE, YES PLEASE" hesitates for more than a second when you get to them bite their fucking nose off.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)
stronger-tasting and darker-coloured drinks are the best ones to dissolve faeces in

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)

I guess porter would be ideal?
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:19, archived)
If someone asks for ice it means they don't want ice.
If someone says "No ice," like that, it means they want ice. It's a fun game people play.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:20, archived)
If a man asks for a malibu and coke, don't shout "GAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!" at them
also beware of the concealed money trick (customer waves a £20 note at you, then swaps it for a tenner that's hidden in their hand at the last minute, but you give them change for a 20 as that's what you remember)
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)
I'm gonna try this later

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:25, archived)
Make sure you're getting served by a spastic or it won't work.
I can't remember which pub Sammi said she worked in though.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)
And about:blank won't tell me where he works :(

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:28, archived)

Would you really want some cunt off the internet turning up for your first day on a new job?
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:36, archived)
i shudder at meeting ANY cunt off the internet
fuck that
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:39, archived)
Usually depends of busy the bar is
Probably works best in chavvy nightclubs where they have one or two bar staff trying to serve 50 people at once
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:36, archived)
Watch out for the inverse of the concealed money trick, where they actually give you too much money and then steal whatever they give you that's extra because you have no morals or conscience.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:26, archived)

All Kum-Ji wants in life is to meet her favorite boy band, DDL. When she finds that the roster for the fan club is full, Kum-Ji despairs on ever having the chance to meet them face to face. Just when she believes all hope is lost, she decides to con her way into the boy band circuit by faking an interest in another band, Yo-I, and joining their fan club. Once in, she will have access to other bands, including her beloved DDL, who often plays the same shows. However, the best laid plans so frequently go awry, and her deception is very quickly discovered by one of the band members, E-Soh. E-Soh originally decides to blackmail Kum-Ji into doing whatever he wants, but he never planned on falling in love!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:32, archived)
Don't be a cunt about selling cans after closing.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:39, archived)
My local has a nice solution to that.
Ever since Fianna Fáil fucked up the off licence laws it's been illegal to sell take out after ten o'clock.
so if you do want late cans they make you have a lock in until everybody else has fucked off and they can't see you break the law.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:42, archived)
We were having a lock in, it was half two. They still wouldn't give us cans.
They have every other fucking night for the last fifteen years.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:43, archived)
Surely if it's a lock-in you can have beer out of the tap?

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)
We were going, and they wouldn't give us any.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:46, archived)
They're twats then.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)
Yep.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:53, archived)
Hoors, Esme, hoors.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:44, archived)
They're not locals.
I fear this may be the problem.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:47, archived)
DIAGNOSIS: not from round 'ere.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 11:49, archived)
I have seen one naked old man so far today.
What's your score?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)
Staying at a hostel in Dublin last Summer
We went for the cheap option - 18 beds in one room.

One time I walked in to get my bag to see a new resident of the room. A 50-year old fat naked man on the bunk above me.

It was horrifying.
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)
If this was QOTW, it would have been a naked woman that I totally banged

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)
And some joke about "bunking"

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)
length sorry

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:55, archived)
This is the price of poverty.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)
<s>price of poverty</s>
smartest hotel in Dublin
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)
37

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)
Dusty Bukkake?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)
I went to a music festival in a Butlins camp and bumped into one of the performers in the swimming pool showers.
That's the closest I've come to famous cock. Today, I've seen none other than my own yet.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)
"Bumped into."
The euphemism for a new generation.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:52, archived)
I thought 'was violently raped by' was a little graphic for a sunday morning

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:53, archived)
New thread time
Today is my eldest girl child's birthday, she's nine. Later, we're off to her Dad's for a little birthday tea party. We baked buns to take.

/jenpots blog, July 5th 2009.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:52, archived)
It's my birthday in six days
I think this is more important
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:53, archived)
How old will you be?

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:54, archived)
Twenty Two

(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:55, archived)
my brother will be 21 in 8 days
and I have no idea what to get him.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:02, archived)
paralytic

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:05, archived)
meh
he manages just fine on his own. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't want his old sister taking him out for drinks.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:08, archived)
I hear those mutated hero kung-fu tortoise things are popular with children his age

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:08, archived)
A harmonica.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:09, archived)
a machete
all boys like machetes
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:17, archived)
John Barrowman facemask

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:19, archived)
half an onion with a pencil stuck through it

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:23, archived)
an alligator stuffed full of icing sugar with a roman candle up its arse

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:26, archived)
Half a dog

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:27, archived)
An old Beano with crude willies drawn on all the characters' heads

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:29, archived)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVD box set and a vibrating butt plug

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:30, archived)
A pipebomb

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:30, archived)
A Terrapin
and a smaaaaaall aubergine.
(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:31, archived)
fuck all, the ungrateful shitcunt

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:31, archived)
A small turtle with a plastic cowboy doll on it's back

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:32, archived)
A blow up sex doll of Nigella Lawson

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:32, archived)
life-size posable Alistair Darling action figure

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:32, archived)
a hang gliding lesson

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:33, archived)
A packet of beef and onion crisps.
Half eaten.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:34, archived)
An angry otter with a bandana on.

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)
A wonderwoman costume
www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/2703800/Trail/searchtext%3ECOSTUME.htm
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:35, archived)
one of your kidneys, just in case

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)
A sad looking wind-up robot that's got one leg broken so it just walks around in circles

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:37, archived)
a link to this subthread

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:37, archived)
A jamjar with 21 wasps in.

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:38, archived)
A pencil drawing you did of him which makes him look a spastic

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)
a hand-knitted jumper with the word CRETIN across the front

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)
A lifesize Barbie with a DIY drilled anus and vagina.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:41, archived)
Gilgamesh

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:42, archived)
Sports bra and plenty of toilet paper to put in it

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:43, archived)
A Nerf sniper rifle that comes in a briefcase and is pieced together and can shoot Nerf things from incredible distances.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:43, archived)
An adopted African child.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:44, archived)
A good big hard kick up the arse

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)
A hooker for the night

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)
A crude effigy of him made from bogies

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)
An incestual blowjob.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:46, archived)
A selection of different pasta shapes

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)
Photos of you in revealing negligé
Danger porn
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)
this thread is the longest-running precision display of extreme boredom I've seen in a long time

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:47, archived)
@Gilgamesh
I dunno, I've seen worse
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:49, archived)
I'll be 22 on tuesday.
yay
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:42, archived)
Are you looking forward to your present from /talk.
It may be hang gliding lessons, but probably won't.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)
I have to take in sweets at work
ugh
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:48, archived)
you know what, I think I might have a cup of coffee now

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:54, archived)
can you make me one too, please?

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:55, archived)
well yes, I could
but I don't see any practical way of getting it to you before it goes cold

it's probably better all round if you make yourself a cup of coffee, no offence
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:57, archived)
hmmm, I see your point.
I shall get the girl child to make me one.

/terrible mother.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:59, archived)
damn right
and if she forgets to stir it properly, pack her off to the workhouse
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:07, archived)
I'm being tempted by some £265 flights to Newark in October.
Should I? Shouldn't I?
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:56, archived)
errrr
yes?
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:59, archived)
I probably should.
But I've already had one holiday this year.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:09, archived)
life's short
go and enjoy it!
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:09, archived)
Lol piston reference
b3ta.com/questions/tramps/post471576
(__, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:58, archived)
HAS ANYONE SEEN MY DRUGS?

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:10, archived)
I'm going to try and clear lots of old ingredients out of the cupboard later by making BROWNIES.
If this is successful I will move on to making Girl Scouts.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:10, archived)
'making.'

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:10, archived)
Like Doctor Frankenstein made the monster.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:11, archived)
He touched it inappropriately?

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:11, archived)
After digging up the graves and stitching their bits to other people's bits
the molestation was the least of their worries.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:12, archived)
On a related note
I always like to read "molestation" as "mole station" and imagine a bunch of moles in uniform hanging around outside a mole barracks.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:14, archived)

hanging around outside a mole barracks driving trains
(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:39, archived)

+out with
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:32, archived)
I am REALLY FUCKING ILL :(
I feel like someone has punch my in my right side, I feel sick, I feel like I don't want to move.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:24, archived)
*affectionately punches you in the left side*

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:28, archived)
I thought of suggesting this
but then realised that it's the sort of thing my Dad used to say whenever I complained of a pain. I don't want to be turning into my Dad just yet :o(
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:34, archived)
How do you feel about spacefish turning into your Dad?

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:34, archived)
It's too early to contemplate such a concept
as long Spacefish doesn't mind listening to Trad Jazz and being unable to drive 100 yards without taking enough emergency supplies for a road trip across Australia
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:40, archived)
better safe than sorry!!!

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:45, archived)
oh happy birthday mini ninja too!

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 10:36, archived)
Ningles you lovely people
I am up way too early on a sunday, waiting for workmen to arrive. Did I manage to be sensible and go to bed early and sober, did I hell.

Still, better than having to do the work myself.

Question: Tell me your DIY disasters,or alternatively why you are up so early/late
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:27, archived)
I have been up since seven so I can be tired tonight as I am at work at 5 am tomorrow
Also I am going to paint my flat in glorious magnolia today
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:29, archived)

My biggest DIY disaster was when I tried to fit a new, larger loft hatch - it took me fucking months to get it in properly, and as soon as I'd done it a builder looked at it and said " Jesus, I hope you spoke to a structural engineer before removing that joist" - I hadn't, but the house is still standing.

And I'm up so early because when I went downstairs to get a glass of water at 5am I thought I'd just have a quick look on /b/, and I'm still here :-(
(I helped save b3ta! C, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:32, archived)
pfft!
silly about:blank
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:43, archived)
I need the toilet and was passing

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:35, archived)
Early? It's not early
I've been up since 6 and I've already done the dishes, tidied up and hoovered.
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:36, archived)
Some bastards told me to stop sleeping on the sofa

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:38, archived)
those DFS security guards can be right cunts

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:39, archived)
I feel ROUGH.
Got hammered last night and have to work for 10 hours today.

EUGH.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:41, archived)
I feel disproportionally shit this morning
Most unfair
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:47, archived)
I didn't even drink that much.
Two pints of Guinness and half a bottle of wine. But I only ate a cheese sandwich and a bag of crisps all day.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:00, archived)
I had a bottle of wine
That is all
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:05, archived)
just got back from the gaaaay bar
some skinny gay boy split his orange shorts and was dancing all over the place with his black pants showing

good times
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:41, archived)
What type of workmen work on a Sunday?

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:46, archived)
One's earning more money I imagine

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:50, archived)
JEWS
and people doing rail improvement wotsits
(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:52, archived)
painters
doing the outside of my house
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:54, archived)
If they're any good send them my way.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)
My Dad bought a house to extend as a project
This involved removing the roof, adding another floor, then putting the roof back on, whilst we were living in it.

We started by removing the outer skin of bricks, because it doesn't carry any weight and it was all being changed. So we spent a Saturday knocking and tapping all these bricks out and stacking them to be sold (3000bricks, 10p each), then sat down in the lounge with a cuppa.

My Dad sat his capacious arse on the sofa, the pressure wave surged through the room and was just powerful enough to push both windows out of their frames, now that they weren't really being supported by anything.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:55, archived)
blah blah FOBTQOTW

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:56, archived)
I can't be arsed reading that, can I just mention that Torchwood is shit?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 8:59, archived)
Im the only thing you come to this board for
read my fucking words, you prick, even if it leaves oily finger streaks across your screen
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:05, archived)
I hope your cock rots off and your piles leak pus down your knickers you massive queer

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:11, archived)
Get a room, you raving homosexuals.

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:14, archived)
no, YOU raving homosexuals

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:14, archived)
fuck you, shitcunt

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:28, archived)
:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:29, archived)
I'm sowwy Gilgywilgy, still fwends?

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:33, archived)
NO
you SMELL and I HATE you
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:35, archived)
heh heh

(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:03, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6263375
(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)
Is your mother aware you are awake this late?
What two things do you want to combine to make something even more awesome?
I want to combine food and lego so that I can build a ship and then go all kraken on its ass. OM NOM NOM
(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 3:10, archived)
I want to combine my cum with your tits

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 3:12, archived)
I am no longer being sick every 1/2 an hour
what shall I eat to celebrate?
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:39, archived)
HAM!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:40, archived)
Cock

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:40, archived)
your mum

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:40, archived)
Pot noodle

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:41, archived)
This is worryingly tempting

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:59, archived)
Crack

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:42, archived)
My face.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:43, archived)
your sick

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:43, archived)
a handful of slightly singed dog hair

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:45, archived)
Bonjella

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:45, archived)
Birds Eye Potato Waffles
they're waffley versatile
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:46, archived)
CUCKOO

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:47, archived)
ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod
want
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:47, archived)
Milk
It's what Ian Rush drinks
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:47, archived)
Should I grill them, bake them or fry them?

(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 3:00, archived)
All three, just to be sure

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 3:01, archived)
Let's see how many ritz crackers you can eat in 5 minuites without drinking water.
I reckon I could do 3.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:47, archived)
hands up who's pissed
and if not, why not?
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:59, archived)
Hang on. let me lube up first

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:01, archived)
because you're a shrieking bum bandit and you molest children
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:02, archived)
No, only just finished work and then work in the morning too

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:04, archived)
I'm not.
I didn't feel like it tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:04, archived)
you can be excused
I understand you have returned to the "oul sod" and therefore need time for the "mainland" ways to be purged from your system.

you have 24 hours.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:07, archived)
I have been in the pub the last two nights, though.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:15, archived)
Get much trade?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:17, archived)
this is good
very soon you will be able to return to the ways of old and forget you ever left.

or something like that.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:17, archived)
It feels a bit like I never left, and a bit sad that I did.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:23, archived)
But you may have been more sad if you did not go.......

(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 2:26, archived)
If I said you had a beautiful body
would you do anal?
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:53, archived)
I hate you Milkman Dan

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:55, archived)
If I said you make me hornier than a 18 year old school boy,
would you leave me alone with your 7 year old niece?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:57, archived)
i would certainly let you think quietly to yourself about it

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 1:58, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »