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Guys don't miss out on the birth of a meme happening right now!!!

www.b3ta.com/board/3695885
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:05, archived)
So why is the kitten called No Hands and not that thing?

(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:07, archived)
Bandwagon/meme/blah
b3ta births are repetitive
(I helped save b3ta! Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:07, archived)
I'll catch up later.
I can't see the video anyways- just a lovely shade of gray.
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:08, archived)
nah
takes much much more than that for meme-hood

although crippled puppydogs are inately funny obviously
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:10, archived)
I just went for a cigarette
And sitting in his car outside my office was none other than Michael Caine (aka Sir Maurice Micklewhite) himself. I didn't realise until he started to drive off, because I'm a fucking moron.

I pissing love Michael Caine. Gah!
(I helped save b3ta! TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:05, archived)
You're only s'posed to blow THE BLOODY DOORS OFF!

Edit: I've only ever met Lenny Whassisname...oh shit him...that did that program. Lenny Bennett - that's it. So hooray for Michael Caine.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:10, archived)
I wouldn't click the link if I were you.
Really. I wouldn't.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:04, archived)
seconded

(Christopsy, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:09, archived)
Too late! BARF!!!!

(Leah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:11, archived)
Can't say I didn't warn you!
Bwoo ha ha!
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:11, archived)
what is itttt ?
is it safe for work ???
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:16, archived)

It's safe for work in the same way that mammoths are hairless.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:20, archived)
Hit ctrl+v!
What's on your clipboard?

I have:
I'd love to watch an American watching Green Wing.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:47, archived)
I have
2-63096310

Ooh..nice.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:47, archived)
object
/edit- the word with a space after. not an object.
(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:49, archived)
OK then
I really REALLY object to this thread! What a waste of your time, of my time, of everyone's time!

How was that?
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:49, archived)
again.
this time WITH feeling...
(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:51, archived)
BAH!
FOR FUCKS SAKE! What's this shit all about?! I mean for fucks sake as if the internet wasn't cluttered with enough drivelsome bollock leavings you start this cunting shite! I object like a motherfucker to this waste of space...GAH! ARGH! Fucking hell!

*Storms off*



How was that?
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:57, archived)
ENCORE!
hooray!
/throws roses
(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:59, archived)
*Bows*
Thank you, thank you all! You love me! You really really love me!
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:01, archived)
I love you*





*but not in a bumgay way
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:14, archived)
Damn...
Oh well I take what I can get...

I love you too

*Mwah*
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:21, archived)
i actually have this:
www2.b3ta.com/motorbikes/
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:50, archived)
<div style="clear:both"></div>
found a way around the evil Images-Break-Out-Of-Divs-In-Firefox problem
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:51, archived)
#goatse17.jpg#

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:54, archived)
Christ,
there's more than one of them?!
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:56, archived)
there was a whole goatse series
in various states of dilation and porn mag poses
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:58, archived)
Blimey O'Reilly's pantyhose!

(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:02, archived)
I would've ventured a
"FUCK THE LORD!" for that revelation...
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:08, archived)
Still
CHRIST ON A BIKE for me
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:09, archived)
Ah yes that's a good'un too
CUNTING SHIT BEANS! is another one...
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:14, archived)
.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/369597
(I helped save b3ta! Gnoll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:17, archived)
Not that I want to know but
how the hell did you find that? Did you search google for it?
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:04, archived)
Most of them have been posted to b3ta at one time or another
by "hilarious" noobs

And the original goatse website had them.

And I like to yank my wangstick to the sight of the first few inches of a massive manhole.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:09, archived)
The mind boggles
...as well as the arse.

You want to get yourself down to some roadworks then...you'll be stiffer than a granny in the winter.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:24, archived)
Um

	$fp = fsockopen ('uk.imdb.com', 80, $errno, $errstr, 30);
	if (!$fp) {
		echo "$errstr ($errno)\n";
	} else {
		fputs ($fp, "GET $path HTTP/1.0\r\nHost: uk.imdb.com\r\nConnection: Keep-Alive\r\nUser-Agent: Echidna\r\n\r\n");
		while (!feof($fp))
		  $imdb .= fgets($fp);
		fclose ($fp);
	}

(I helped save b3ta! Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:09, archived)
Hahahahaha
wait ... that's not funny
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:13, archived)
No
just true*

* contents may have settled in transit
(I helped save b3ta! Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:16, archived)

m
(Christopsy, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:48, archived)
Anybody live near/ in leeds?
off to visit my bro in leeds tomorrow, and was wondering if anyone knows any good places to go out of a friday night thats arent gonna be swarming with chavs? not entirely sure i trust my brothers judgement on pubs ever since he admitted to liking yates wine lodge...
(jazzpotato, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:32, archived)
I'm always in a lead
My master said I could go out yesterday :(
(I helped save b3ta! Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:34, archived)
There is an OK bar
Called The Elbow Room, which is basically late night bar/club but with a massive balcony with US pool tables on it, pay by the hour. it isn't usually crowded, light-to-medium chav load and the booze is cheap. It had a high proportion of attractive ladies there last time I visited. But that may have been the fact that I was not so much wearing beer goggles as a beer welding mask..
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:38, archived)
i have vague memories of the dry dock
last time i was there. not sure if its gonna be rammed full of students at this time of year though...
(jazzpotato, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:40, archived)
come to edinburgh instead
i need something to do :)
(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:46, archived)
its a bit of a trek from nottingham...
went for the fringe festival last year.... the bars dont seem to close- completely screwed up my sense of time that did
(jazzpotato, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:48, archived)
they do close..
at about 5am in the festival :)
(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:53, archived)
I just found a whole packet of Zoom ice lollies in the freezer at work
*slurps*

Edit: On closer inspection they are "Fab" ice lollies, not Zooms.
I have always mixed the two up.
They contain real strawberry though.
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:11, archived)
mmm
brrrain freeeeze!
(I helped save b3ta! tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:14, archived)
Can I have
Brian freeze instead please?

Mmmm, that beardy Blessedy flavour.
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:29, archived)
mmm
only if we can share!
(I helped save b3ta! tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:41, archived)
I just found
a whole load of Cat 3 genetically modified E.coli in my freezer at work

*decides, on balance, not to slurp*
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:14, archived)
Do you work in my building?

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:15, archived)
depends
Is your building in UCL in central london?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:17, archived)
Nah
Biotech firm. Oxfordshire
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:17, archived)
which one?
got any jobs? I fucking hate academia...
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:18, archived)
Can't say for fear of losing job for surfing all day
(which I'm losing in Nov anyway)

Dunno about jobs, I'm in admin/Lab tech
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:19, archived)
Networked E.coli?

(I helped save b3ta! Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:20, archived)
yeah
secure ethernet, the works..

I realise you couldn't give a big dogs cock, and so apologise in advance..

Sorry

Cat 3 is the highest safey rating for biologicals in terms of risk to health and human life. To put it in persective, Anthrax is only Cat 2...

*washes hands*
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:23, archived)
Cool
Can you get hold of any fun viruses? I fancy some Ebola for some co-workers. Won't be able to bitch and moan about others when their eyes are dissolving.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:26, archived)
I can get
Cyanide.

*Waves keys to dangerous chemicals store*
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:27, archived)
GIMME!
*makes attempt to grab key*
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:28, archived)
*Yoink*
How much cash do you have?
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:29, archived)
*Looks through pockets*
84p and a button to a shirt I lost 6 years ago...

*looks up expectantly*
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:32, archived)
Just looked it up at Fishers (Suppliers)
and it's surprisinly cheap. Around 20 quid for 500g.

*Throws bottle to Benny*

Edit: Hold on, the good stuff is more:
Potassium cyanide 99+% for analysis 25g CertiFied AR £347.36
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:34, archived)
Yeah, depends what I'm playing with really
Recently one of my students spiked herself with a contaminated hypodermic, I just wrote down the cell line, expression system, antibiotic resistance etc on a post it and sent her to casualty (I'm caring like that ;)

They shat themselves, isolated her and treated her in 5 seconds flat. How I laughed as people bleeding profusely were ignored for a small prick on the finger ;)
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:29, archived)
You are cooler than Fonzie
AICM£5
(I helped save b3ta! Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:33, archived)
I'd rather
be cooler than Fozzie

*hands over tenner, waits for change*
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:35, archived)
Thems the breaks
*keeps all teh money*
(I helped save b3ta! Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:38, archived)
go on
you know you want to
(Dinsdale v Spiny Norman, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:21, archived)
oh whore!
edit: can you still buy strawberry mivvis?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:15, archived)
i think ive seen them about.
mind you, i only figured that the post comes only once a day today.
(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:21, archived)
Yes you can
I recently bought a box of them from Morrisons.
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:58, archived)
I fucking love Zooms.

(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:15, archived)
im getting cabin fever
nowhere to go... nothing to do... ho hum
(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:06, archived)
I'm bored too
Lets go poke things with sticks
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:07, archived)
yippee!
/grabs poking stick
(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:09, archived)
Hehe
*pokes co-worker with stick* for fun*

*gets slap*


*when I say stick, I should have said cock. and when I say "pokes" I should have said "slaps co-worker round the face with" still, it's all semantics, isn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:09, archived)
sounds fun
i wish i had a cock and a coworker to play with *sigh*
(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:10, archived)
You can borrow mine
*runs*
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:11, archived)
surely not
a detachable penis?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:12, archived)
Would be handy.

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:14, archived)
yeah
cos then you wouldn't have to stand up to wipe it on the curtains

/Northern post-coital behaviour
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:16, archived)
I laughed very loudly then

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:17, archived)
I aim to please
after more than three pints, I'm quite pleased to aim, too .....
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:19, archived)
it's over-rated. really.
I only do it to kill the time between cups of tea.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:13, archived)
swap you for some norks?

(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:18, archived)
what size?
only quite large norks will fit me, you see, and I wouldn't want to stretch them...
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:24, archived)
now that would be telling
and besides, a public messageboard probably isnt the place for me to be discussing my norks... yeah...
on a side not, im off for lunch..
(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:27, archived)
It's OK
I'll get everyone to not look for 5 minutes*



*may rely too much on peoples honesty. may not happen.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:31, archived)
alright then :)
*flashes*
(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:37, archived)
teh blimey
*goes blind*

*hands over cock immediately*

I think you've done badly out of that deal ...
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:39, archived)
damn
i want a refund! ive been swindled!
(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:44, archived)
Hmmmm
Are you being critical of my genitalia?

*reluctantly returns norks*
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:52, archived)
im critical
of everyones genitalia, dont worry :)
(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:54, archived)
That's OK then
not everyone likes more than 8 inches anyway :P
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:58, archived)
ooh
subtle ego inflation there i think...
(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:00, archived)
On the contrary
that was as subtle as a slap round the face with a wet Halibut..

Anyway, it's a special scale, the reason women can't read maps is that men keep telling them that this

|- - - - - -|

Is six inches

/ducks for cover
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:04, archived)
haha
now, if i couldnt read maps i would take offence... but i can! and im female! ha!
(I helped save b3ta! toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:34, archived)
I've just noticed the alt text of the donation icons.
Cute.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:03, archived)
indeed
YOU helped save b3ta
(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:04, archived)
odd...
mine says "you are a cunt"

how did they know?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:05, archived)
It's obvious
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:05, archived)
ah. arsecandle
*looks in mirror*

*runs*

*makes appointment with expensive plastic surgeon to remove cuntiness from features*
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:06, archived)
Do you get to choose out of the selection of icons
*wants elephant icon*
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:06, archived)
Only the latest ones

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:08, archived)
depends when you donate
you cant get any past icons, but everytime you donate you have access to the latest ones

that probably doesnt make sense
(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:08, archived)
It does

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:09, archived)
Is there a page on which we can view all the icons?
I tried just looking in the icons directory but nothing happened.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:13, archived)
Tonight I will be mostly
teasing policemen.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:00, archived)
will you be teasing specifically
or will there be some taunting as well?

*offer sharp stick for poking "the fuzz"*
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:04, archived)
Just teasing
The bricks will do the taunting.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:05, archived)
Why you tease the Filth?

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:05, archived)
Makes a change from teasing paramedics...

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:06, archived)
I see
Practicing on me earlier were you?
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:26, archived)

I had wondered what will I become of myself,
an astronaut, monkey, or even an Elf,
but what I am now, is just a guy in I.T.
as a young kid, I never thought this would be.
I wanted to fly spaceships, and shoot down the bad guys,
or fly in the clouds, wearing a costume or disguise,
I can't teleport myself into a shop full of sweets,
all I seem to do now is fix Windows XP.
Well I guess when you're a kid, you have all your dreams,
and when you grow up, it's not what it seems.
It's full of anger, hatred and fear,
but that does'nt really matter, cus now I have Beer!

P.S. I'm so proud of you all for participating in the "b3ta talk forum that nobody knows about" record challenge found here : www.b3ta.com/talk/25838

Here, have a gold star all of you.
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:39, archived)

Words of note-
Elf (Score 10)
teleport (Score 45)
Beer (Score 39070)

Result: Woo!

Run Crave.exe /beer
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:44, archived)
crave.exe/beer -hangover

(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:46, archived)

crave.exe/beer -hangover +fags = skint.dll
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:47, archived)
or indeed halitosis

(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:49, archived)
*melts simply skipper's face*
*becomes emabrassed*
*walks away*
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:52, archived)
;-P

(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:56, archived)
I always wanted to be shot into space
My Dad said that if he hadn't been pissed I would've been.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:49, archived)
arf

(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:50, archived)
by a strange coincidence
I always wanted to be blasted into my mother's face ...
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:51, archived)
Ha ha ha ha aha ha ha
I did a proper burst of belly laughter for that one. I now have to explain myself to my manager *walks into office*
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:53, archived)
Forgive my ignorance, but
is Van Morrison dead?
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:36, archived)
how handy!

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:39, archived)
Indeed
I didn't know about Norris McWhirter


Must be a record
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:40, archived)
Blimey, I never knew!!!!
www.deadoraliveinfo.com/dead.nsf/dnames-nf/Diana+Princess
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:42, archived)
Diana
Field: Politics, Social Activism ??

What?
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:43, archived)
pointless socialite whore wasnt one of the options
im a big fan of the idea of ruling class, as you can probably tell
(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:46, archived)
lists the cause of death
as car crash, not as the global conspiracy to avoid having the Queen directly related to Mohamed Al Fayed. Not that I`m complaining, though.
(crackshot, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:12, archived)
christ on a bike
that is a useful website
(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:42, archived)
sadly not

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:38, archived)
Taa.
I ask because in on of my favourite novels there's a character called Sean Morrison, and he's dead. He lives somewhere where dead people live normally, though (Shadows Fall by Simon R Green - read the damn book, it's easier than me having to explain). Someone asks him, "your name wasn't always Sean, was it?" and he replies, "no, it wasn't." I was wondering if this was a sly reference to Van Morrison, but evidently not if he's still alive.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:41, archived)
jim?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:47, archived)

have I told you lately, that I love you?
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:40, archived)
No,
but your name is woo.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:42, archived)
... have I told you lately that I care

(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:54, archived)
Worst excuse for getting drunk with friends:
Last night missus shambolic got an emergency phone call from a friend and had to rush around to her house with a bottle of vino because "she's caught a rat and can't keep hold of it and surf the web at the same time"

(they're both french ... if that's any sort of explanation)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:35, archived)
Ah, French
Yep, that explains it then.
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:36, archived)
what is french for vavavoom?

(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:38, archived)
I believe
it's 'nobjockey'.
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:43, archived)
ask Bobby

(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:43, archived)
put put put klang! klang!
"o putain! bordel de renault! elles sont toutes de la merde!"
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:43, archived)
O whore!
brothel of Renault! they all are of the shit!"
(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:48, archived)
A tad literal ... but yes.
I might start using "oh whore!" as an exclamation in English.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:50, archived)
i think i might too.
if its ok with you, that is.
(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:55, archived)
help yourself
you brothel of a skipper
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:59, archived)
Do woodlice sneeze?

(I helped save b3ta! Comma, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:11, archived)
If they do, I'm sure they'd curl up and roll backwards at 60mph
Haaaa ha ha haaaa CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

*wizzes off backwards down the patio*
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:12, archived)
Ah that's what it was!
I thought someone had shot me with an air rifle while I was sunbathing yesterday.
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:15, archived)
No, that was me flicking bogies at you

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:15, archived)
Cool
Keep doing it. Then I can roll my own snot pasties to avoid nipple sunburn. :D
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:16, archived)
You sicken me

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:28, archived)
That
was the plan, yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:38, archived)
Ugh....mission accomplished
Dirty girl!
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:40, archived)
You arouse me

(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:32, archived)
That
was worrying.
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:39, archived)
you roger me

(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:37, archived)
That
was an out and out lie.
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:39, archived)
'Was' an out and out lie...
But it's true now?
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:40, archived)
Uh...uh...wait a min...
Uhhhhh.

Yes. :)
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:41, archived)
roger that.
over.
(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:47, archived)
*Passes tissue*

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:47, archived)
Do spiders make chutney?

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:13, archived)
No
Because they're lazy workshy bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:15, archived)
No ...
they are workshy, but they make gravy. Earwigs, I believe, are the prime chutney constructors ..
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:02, archived)
don't know
but it looks like woodlouse could be tasty
www.geocities.com/~gregmck/woodlice/recipes.htm
anyone up for it?
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:16, archived)
Hmm
Crunchy
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:18, archived)
Wow, woodlice grow an extra pair of legs when pregnant!
What a bonus that would be for the new age woman.

It would also seem that they are thick as pig shit, as they cannot find there way out of a maze.

Did you also know they can survive on eating paper alone?

has just discovered the wonder that is the woodlice
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:25, archived)
Earwigs have a spare nob
and it's huge
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:33, archived)
Meh ... I have an entire spare body*
(* may officially be called a twin)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:36, archived)
Handy if you dismember yourself though
I'm sure he would'nt mind "giving you a hand"

/gets coat
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:44, archived)
You're asking entirely too many questions
*Calls KGB*
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:14, archived)
if you tickle them

(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:14, archived)
Michael Jackson: 1988-2004
Best sexchange ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:03, archived)
Arf
Pale face
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:05, archived)
I can never tell
Which one is LaToya and which one is Michael?

They're a bit interchangeable now.
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:07, archived)
do a quiz
i'd play it
(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:09, archived)
Someone else will have to
For I am crap and have no skills.
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:19, archived)
im lazy with no skills
and lots of work to do that im not doing cos im here

so i dont think it will be me either, another dream shattered
(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:20, archived)
Just throw them into a pit full of junior school kids
The one to come out with the stiffy is Michael
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:10, archived)
It's a little known fact
that being beaten and bumraped by an overbearing father turns you caucasian
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:11, archived)
pfffffffffffffffffftttt

(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:12, archived)
What if you're already caucasian?
Albino?
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:13, archived)
you get to be president
of the USA
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:14, archived)
Ha ha ha ha aha ha ha
You realise you're going to get bombed now. But not for your oil...oh lordy me no not oil..
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:15, archived)
Not
that that will stop them from giving you a good 'drilling' mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:19, archived)
A drilling from a Texan
I've gone all weak at the knees.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:23, archived)
Michael Jackson: Man in the Mirror
Best Keychange Ever

It's unfortunate, but a FACT.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:27, archived)
up a major third
right?
(I helped save b3ta! applehead herp derp, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:32, archived)
It's not the interval itself
so much as it is the mad gospel stylings.

*testifies*
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:33, archived)
Yeah
but, did he or didn't he?
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:36, archived)
He didn't
I know 'cos I was there...
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:37, archived)
what a fine set of icons we have in this thread.
might get myself one.
(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:39, archived)
Yes
Donate. DONATE HARD!
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:39, archived)
How complicated is a paypal account then?
Are they easy to cancel once you've set one up?

had fucking terrible trouble just trying to close my ebay account
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:47, archived)
carrier pigeons
are better
(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:47, archived)
Send a cheque
Old-fashioned, mayhap, but it works.
(I helped save b3ta! TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:50, archived)
Or just get their bank details
and go into the bank and pay in a tenner.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:56, archived)
Paypal is fine
Easy as pissing in a river
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:50, archived)
That can be difficult if your still at your desk
Unless your office is a raft floating down the river.

What a great idea, I think we should all have floating offices.
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:52, archived)
I can see the Thames from here.
In fact I could probably piss in it from here
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:53, archived)
But can you tell how deep it is from there?
ARF!
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:57, archived)
Hehe
It's cold too
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:58, archived)
Hmm
Think I'd better go piss in that river then. Fucking thing has locked me out again.

*rage*
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:59, archived)
yeah
the paypal website is running really slow today for some reason.
(I helped save b3ta! tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:04, archived)
It's not that
It never EVER lets me complete a registration form without fucking up. It is now asking me to fill in the bits I have missed on a form WHICH DON'T EXIST!

*pokes it with a pointy stick*
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:06, archived)
humm
try poking it with a non-pointy stick. I've heard it works.
(I helped save b3ta! tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:11, archived)
No
It's the sledgehammer next.
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:14, archived)
That's because I'm the H@xx0r and I'm stealing all of your money
bwa ha ha ha bwa ha ha ha

*strokes white cat on lap*
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:06, archived)
its ok
i just closed my account!
(I helped save b3ta! tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:10, archived)
No bother at all
Just cancel the payment when you want to stop donating.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:54, archived)
Or just donate when it takes you
Do you have a direct debit thing set up then?
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:56, archived)
Yeah
I have a monthly doantion thingy set up.
'cos I'm good like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:58, archived)
Creep
I do a tenner everytime the new icons come out
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:59, archived)
*Goes to head of the class*
It's only £2 a month so over the year we're probably putting about the same amount in...possibly.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:01, archived)
Bargain I say
Considering I spent 30 quid in the pub last night chatting up a girl young enough to be my daughter. And b3ta doesn't tell you to fuck off.

Cue next reply of "fuck off"
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:03, archived)
cunt off
*slight change to add suprise.
(I helped save b3ta! tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:05, archived)
*Ahem*
Fuck off

/Aims to please
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:06, archived)
bah!
that's a "can't be arsed writing another verse particularly with a choir full of cute children in the studio" key change
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:42, archived)
much better things to be doing.

(I helped save b3ta! Tiggy Twitchin', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:44, archived)
... like raising banana bears to kill innocent bystanders
Does a bystander swing both ways?
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:51, archived)
And are bi-elections for gayers?

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:55, archived)
'rah!
Interweb Cocksucking Lesbians for President!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:01, archived)
Surely kicking Barry White in the nuts would be the best key change ever?*
* may not work now he's DTF
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:49, archived)
Heh heh heh
What's big black and stiff and doesn't turn women on.

I'd forgotten about that one....thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:02, archived)
Webmonkeys - a serious request for a change
I've just been asked to plan a redesign for my magazine's two websites (we have a US/ Canada and a rest of the world edition). They are currently a wee bit useless, and haven't been updated in an age, plus don't come anywhere near high enough in search engine rankings.

My basic plan is to whack a blog type device on them to increase hit rate, and keep it updated. But I also need any suggestions of other content / features I should put up on there (think about the sorts of thing you want from a magazine's website, but bear in mind that copyright issues mean we can't have too many pictures or copy from within the magazine itself as we'd have to pay extra, and have precisely no budget), and basic layout ideas.

Linkies:
UK/rest of world version: www.heritagemagazine.co.uk/
US/Canadian version: www.realm-magazine.com/

Ta.
(I helped save b3ta! TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:43, archived)
what's
a blog ?

do you like liver ?
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:44, archived)
Back issue ordering?
A covers gallery?

Priority 1: Lose the motherfucking frames.

*edit* If you want your blogging software off the shelf, try WordPress or Moveabletype.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:46, archived)
frames
are soo nineties
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:47, archived)
Bizarrely,
frames are still valid in both transitional and strict XHTML.

They still suck balls though.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:49, archived)
I'm not even too sure what frames are
All I know is it's a bit shit at the moment, and looks like it was designed by a retarded twelve year old as part of a class project.
(I helped save b3ta! TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:50, archived)
was it ?

(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:51, archived)
Basically, bin it and start again.
Good CSS design makes it easier for search engines to catalogue your page for a start.

My advice would be, don't overdo it. If it's not going to carry content, you're basically after a basic contact and service page. The dated content management idea's not bad. It will keep some peoploe checking back. Perhaps and online event diary is a good idea. Also, searchable maps? That's alot of work/expensive though. Although the AA/RAC/Multimap mioght sponsor it.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:54, archived)
Event Diary's in the works
Map thing may not be a bad idea... could just provide lots of links to Multimap/Streetmap for relevant things though.

Simple's the way forward, as I'm probably going to be lumbered with keeping the thing going once it's up and running. My ability to post pictures of kittens and links to goatse is probably not going to come in overly handy on this one...
(I helped save b3ta! TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:00, archived)
If you're doing it on the cheap,
find a site you like, steal the code, change the content.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:03, archived)
There's a plan...
*steals code for www.hardcorearseslutsgetitinallholes.com*
*starts changing content*
*changes mind and leaves content as it is*
(I helped save b3ta! TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:09, archived)
Just a small tiny thing
Antialiasing on the graphics.

Try to make sure the graphics are antialiased correctly. If you're using photoshop, make sure you're editing in RGB mode, which will automatically antialias everything anyway (unless you specifically ask it not to).

Makes stuff look nice and smooth.

Oh, and for transparent graphics, make sure that the matting colour is matched up to the background you'll be using, otherwise you may get fringing around the image.

If you're not using PS, I have no idea how to do it in anything else :-)

edit: i'm with the others on frames though. No likey.
edit2: oops, typos :-)
(I helped save b3ta! Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:20, archived)
Ta!
No idea who set up the current thing - graphics certainly look a bit shitty though.
(I helped save b3ta! TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:24, archived)
I bent my wookie

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:47, archived)
HA HA!
/Nelson
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:47, archived)
My cat's breath smells like catfood

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:50, archived)
I ate my glue

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:51, archived)
Oh boy sleep!
That's when I'm a Viking!
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:53, archived)
Principal Skinner, I got carsick in your office.
Read and laugh
www.snpp.com/guides/ralph.file.html
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:55, archived)
Me fail English? That's unpossible

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:56, archived)
Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:57, archived)
You're going to heaven

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:57, archived)
Dying tickles

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:58, archived)
Teacher said she's tired of trying

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:58, archived)
I dress myself

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:59, archived)
Hi, Lisa
We're going to be in a pie.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:59, archived)
Help! She's touching my special area!"

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:00, archived)
That's where I saw the Leprechaun
He told me to burn things...
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:07, archived)
Why does everyone run away from me?
*Wets self*
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:08, archived)
I found a moonrock in my nose

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:09, archived)
I laughed so much at these I actually had tears runnin
down my face
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:11, archived)
Ralph is the greatest.
I love special needs children.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:14, archived)
My knob tastes funny

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:16, archived)
We're a totum pole HIHOWAREYA HIHOWAREYA

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:21, archived)
I ated the purple berries...
they taste like....burning
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:22, archived)
Ralph, Jesus did not have wheels

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:23, archived)
I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:11, archived)
yes super-nintendo chalmers

(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:12, archived)
How about:
* my favourite fruit scone recipe
* how to overpronounce the word "sandwiches"
* foxes? fuck'em
* eight shaggin' quid each to see a shaggin' rose garden and some rare breed shaggin' pigs? Discuss.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:47, archived)
12 fucking quid to get into the Eden project
Cunting plants
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:49, archived)
And it's absolutely cocking miles away
from absolutely everywhere.

Although I do admire its ridiculousness.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:54, archived)
my cat's
called Mittens
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:47, archived)
The blog script
I wrote can be updated by complete window lickers - you can nab it if you like
(I helped save b3ta! sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:13, archived)
Ta - where's that then?
I was thinking of doing some kind of auto redirect to Blogger (or whatever the technical term is for when you're looking at a page hosted on a different site, but it looks like you're still on the same one), but an open source blog code could be better...
(I helped save b3ta! TV's Nosemonkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:26, archived)
I'm having beef stew and dumplings for lunch
My favourite colour is blue.

I like dogs and cats


Christ, I'm bored
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:38, archived)
I had a BLT sarnie and McCoy Spicy Chili Crisps
My favourite colour is Red


I like dogs and chipmunks.


Well this is fun isn't it!
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:40, archived)
Well
I have not had lunch (or breakfast) yet

I like purple and blue

and I like dogs cats and rats

But I detest hamsters
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:42, archived)
But hamsters are lovely!




/Richard Gere
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:43, archived)
They are evil little bastards

(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:46, archived)
Why's your picture sideways?

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:51, archived)
Because she was drinking booze
and it looked right at the time?
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:54, archived)
good answer
the real answer is that I moved everything from my old hosting to a new one and forgot that I had not fixed it
But Your answer might have something to do with it
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:57, archived)
I'm about to have a bowel movement
My favourite fat bald shouty bloke is black francis

I like anal sex


the pope is a cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:43, archived)
Best reply ever

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:47, archived)
I'm having one of my weird concoctions
I love purple Reef

My cat is 11

I can't do the splits anymore. :(
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:43, archived)
It was recently demonstrated to me
that most people can still do the splits if taken slightly by surprise by a slippery floor
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:50, archived)
Damn you!
I can't remember the last time I was taken by surprise! :(
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:10, archived)
*Sneaks*
*Bums*

*Runs*
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:19, archived)
Ah, but by Romany Law
You're my wiiiiife now Dave!
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:22, archived)
Hmmm...
You've been stealth gaying again have you?
(I helped save b3ta! Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:23, archived)
I had a bacon and brie baguette, roast chicken crisps and an Eccles cake.
My favourite colour isnt quite green, isnt quite grey and isnt quite brown. I believe Rover call it 'Heritage'.

I like tapirs and capybaras.
(I helped save b3ta! Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:55, archived)
I had
Tuna and cowcumber sandwich
packet of quavers
tomato soup
bottle of oasis.

Livin' the fuckin' dream, me.
(I helped save b3ta! Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:24, archived)
i just had crumpets, with cheese
i may now have a banana

i love cats but i'm not too keen on dogs

my favourite colour is black

i shall shortly be going to the gym
(I helped save b3ta! The Incredible... accident free since, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:36, archived)
I'm prolly having sarnies for lunch as I can't be arsed to cook.
My favourite colour is blue.

I like firefoxes (both browsers and fluffy animals) and otters.

I like my PlayStation 2.
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:10, archived)
Hello bitches
Anyone know how to convert wmv to avi?

/edit: thanks for the suggestions, I just remembered I've done this before using this
(I helped save b3ta! Gnoll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:19, archived)

www.gimber.co.uk/content/freeware/#multimedia
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:20, archived)
select the file
press F2
select the .wmv suffix
type ".avi" instead
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:22, archived)
selotape
is the answer.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:22, archived)
and the question is ...
"what's the quickest way to remove these scabs from my glans?"
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:24, archived)
Girl teeth

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:25, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/25909
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:27, archived)
:)

(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:28, archived)
dam
i thought it was what should you wrap squirrels in before raping them. :(
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:26, archived)
Virtualdub.
That is all.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:27, archived)
...
i tried it but it doesn't work with wmv's (something about microsoft having the patent etc.) - is there a secret?
(I helped save b3ta! Gnoll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:30, archived)
Oh arse, I didn't know that.
Once again, MS prove themselves to be cunts.

Premier?

www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=convert+wmv+to+avi&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:31, archived)
You managed
to figure it out then...?
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:31, archived)
I figured out resizing
you have to do it by video filter. It was a lot of fucking about just for the sake of this clip.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:32, archived)
Bah - always happens doens't it
And I can't view that as the systems here are worse than toilet...they're ultra toilet.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:35, archived)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:29, archived)
You teeeeeeeeeeease!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:44, archived)
*Teases*

(I helped save b3ta! Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:51, archived)
class from the Onion horoscopes
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
Romance and a felicitous atmosphere for new projects are foretold by the moon passing through your sign this week, as well as—wait a second! That's no moon!
(I helped save b3ta! WhoElse I'm what Willis was talking about, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:12, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:14, archived)


(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:15, archived)


(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:15, archived)




im in mood for chevrons...
(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:17, archived)

www.b3ta.com/chevron/
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:19, archived)
*clicks*
god dammit when will learn
(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:20, archived)
please remain
within the chevrons...
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:22, archived)
only joking
i'm no chevron nazi
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:23, archived)
ha
(is the onion funny again then? it went all sort of ... shit)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:16, archived)
Sort of shit
or full out complete and utter bollocks?
(I helped save b3ta! Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:18, archived)
utter bollocks probably ... haven't read it in ages
they peaked with their post 9/11 epic of tastelessness and have never quite been the same since
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:20, archived)
What're
the Onion horoscopes ?
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:21, archived)
it's a "satirical" news website
www.theonion.com/

and it has comedy horoscopes
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:23, archived)
urgh
it looks very american
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:24, archived)
that will be because
it is written by americans
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:26, archived)
Yeah the title "America's finest news source"
gives it away

;)

Here's a real one
story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=564&ncid=564&e=4&u=/nm/20040908/ts_nm/campaign_bush_logcabin_dc_5
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:26, archived)


(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:49, archived)

*hovers over delete*
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:50, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:51, archived)
If i delete this post...
All will be lost..

Bwuhahahahahaar !
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:52, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:52, archived)


(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:54, archived)
















(I helped save b3ta! Geordie Al, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:56, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:36, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Geordie Al, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:53, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Geordie Al, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:52, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:53, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Geordie Al, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:00, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Geordie Al, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:53, archived)


(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:54, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:55, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:55, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Geordie Al, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:55, archived)


(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:56, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:56, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:56, archived)


(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:57, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:58, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:58, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:59, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:59, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:01, archived)


(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:00, archived)


(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:59, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:00, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:59, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 11:59, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:00, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:00, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:00, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:01, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:02, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:02, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:02, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:04, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:04, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:07, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:08, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:08, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:08, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:08, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:10, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:10, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:10, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:10, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! WhoElse I'm what Willis was talking about, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:11, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:12, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:12, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:13, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:13, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:13, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:13, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:14, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:14, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:14, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Geordie Al, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:15, archived)
*mobile phone rings tune of abba's gimme gimme gimme*

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:16, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:16, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:17, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:17, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:17, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:18, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:22, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:24, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:25, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! asparagus time Is in Brazil., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:30, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:32, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! asparagus time Is in Brazil., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:33, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:35, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:39, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:40, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:54, archived)


(crackshot, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:57, archived)


(crackshot, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:17, archived)


(crackshot, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:17, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 12:49, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 13:07, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:01, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:20, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:25, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Roman Totale, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:26, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:53, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:53, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:53, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:53, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:54, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:57, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:57, archived)


(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 14:58, archived)


(crackshot, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:16, archived)


(crackshot, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 15:16, archived)


(Woo Elephant Yeah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:31, archived)

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