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# awwwww

isnt he cute.
(massive pelican: jumps for money, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:07, archived)
# mine could take him on anyday.
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:09, archived)
# i like owls.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:12, archived)
# .
(Kittenface, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:44, archived)
# This swine looks like...
...he's trying to convince us he know's what's going on.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:09, archived)
# simply
spongey.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:10, archived)
# 2nd post

Spot the continuity error
(I helped save b3ta! Coctail, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:07, archived)
# the lazers
don't have any shadows.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:08, archived)
# lazers wouldnt
they're beams of light!
(massive pelican: jumps for money, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:09, archived)
# we being pedantic?
you can't see laser beams AT ALL unless they are pasing through a mist or non-transparent gas.
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:10, archived)
# not if they come out of
an ocelot or whatever that is, then they're as clear as day
(massive pelican: jumps for money, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:11, archived)
# then they're not lasers.
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:12, archived)
# it could be a
special robot laser ocelot. then they would
(massive pelican: jumps for money, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:13, archived)
# i think
you're missing what i'm trying to say here.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:11, archived)
# and what is that
my good man?
(massive pelican: jumps for money, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:13, archived)
# that the lazers
don't have any shadows.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:17, archived)
# Clue: (press reveal for the answer)
(I helped save b3ta! Coctail, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:20, archived)
# it's probably got something to do with bottoms
he's a bit rude
(The Scone from U.N.C.L.E., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:17, archived)
# one comes outta his mouth
god damn it!
(The Cosmic Boy Zombie (Formerly Pirate Cat), Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:10, archived)
# I'm guessing it's that he fire's 3 bursts in the same direction
but only one hits the targets ...
Woo Yay nevertheless :)
(I helped save b3ta! Hagbard ... it's been a long time., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:19, archived)
# Your all blind.
The ocelot has only THREE legs. Jeez.

Besides, the only thing that an ocelot can be used effectively against is the Kitten of Woe.
(A Wooden Leg Named Smith, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:22, archived)
# blow
(b3rl1n, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:58, archived)
# When you blow a squirrel. BEWARE!!
(Sweenster [Lurker Mode Deactivated], Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:00, archived)
# Simple.Effective
Marvellous
(Icouldsleepforever, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:00, archived)
# Hairdryer ad:
"We don't suck, but we sure as hell blow"
(I like you much more than this telephone pole. But not as much as this frying pan., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:02, archived)
# squirrels
theyre always after me nuts
(I helped save b3ta! The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:04, archived)
# woo! i likes that!
does anyone know where i can find teh 'alternative' b3ta photoshop kit?

edit: never mind i found it
(I helped save b3ta! lo, the OTHER greebo warrior, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:06, archived)
# They have
Black Sqiggles in Letchworth in Hertfordshire 100per cent fact!
(Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez is seriously considering a shorter username, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:09, archived)
# SMUG BASTARD!!!!


not seen him in a while.... tosser
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:58, archived)
# rightly so.
last i saw of him, he was boarding a plane to JERUSALEM.
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:59, archived)
# add this too your list......
negotiating a hostage release.
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:05, archived)
# the list of wank-a-likes?
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:07, archived)
# yep
followed by releasing the hostages.
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:08, archived)
# Drinking and driving?
Next he'll be getting out the mobile phone...

Most amusing tho.
(Gothman, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:00, archived)
# woooooo
for underused meme returning in a car smugger thna ever

yay
(The Scone from U.N.C.L.E., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:03, archived)
# make it crash
yay!
(I helped save b3ta! lemonhead, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:42, archived)
# I know these have been 'shopped to death

But it's difficult to resist their charms...
(I helped save b3ta! useful_idiot, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:47, archived)
# **THREADJACK**
We interrupt this post to bring you a newsflash.

My landlady has just tried to seduce me.

/shocked but at the same time rather turned-on
(I helped save b3ta! Duncan Disorderly, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:51, archived)
# oooh
how odd
(I helped save b3ta! viperrr mostly comes out at night, mostly, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:51, archived)
# No, no no!
You say: "YAY! You lucky Sod! Did she offer you to let you off the rent or was it your mum?"
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:56, archived)
# Is she hideous
and smells of kippers?
(I helped save b3ta! Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:52, archived)
# Kingpin



ack
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:53, archived)
#
/vomits at the memory
(I helped save b3ta! Duncan Disorderly, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:17, archived)
# Congratulations
Is this a vomit inducing seduction or a non-sunshine 'I would' type?
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:52, archived)
# Is she nice or nasty?
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:53, archived)
# Is she cute?
or does she smell of Castor Oil and has a face that would turn over a diesel?

If she's cute, then what the watermelon are you doing here?
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:53, archived)
# No one actually smells of...
...castor oil.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:56, archived)
# Actually
I once knew this girl...
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:57, archived)
# I do
But that may be because I bathe in it*

*not actually true
(I helped save b3ta! useful_idiot, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:57, archived)
# I would not know
since I've never had the (dis)pleasure of tasting and/or smelling it.

Okay, okay... how about WItch Hazel? People can smell of Witch Hazel, can't they?
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:00, archived)
# Witch Hazel is...
...a "drawing ointment" for when you've got a deep splinter. It works and makes the plaster you put over it give off quite a nice, rich, curry-like smell. Nice!
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:03, archived)
# I rest on your face.
I would NOT want to smell like curry.
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:05, archived)
# Mmmmm, baby!
Rest a while... Er, where am I?
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:05, archived)
# gross, dude
...

hahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:11, archived)
# WHO CARES!
She wants to have sex with him! There ARE no other criteria!
(A Wooden Leg Named Smith, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:26, archived)
# go for it.
what have you to lose, except your hepititas negative status?
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:56, archived)
# speaking of which
I forgot to tell you...

I've developed a rash.
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:57, archived)
# You need...
...whitch hazel!
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:07, archived)
# yay !
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:52, archived)
# Honk, Qwonk

parp
(I helped save b3ta! Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:47, archived)
# wahey
woo
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:47, archived)
# *honk*
I shall woo until I can woo no more
(I helped save b3ta! useful_idiot, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:48, archived)
# qwonk !
woo !
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:48, archived)
# how does it smell?
(I helped save b3ta! edovan, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:50, archived)
# jamaica?
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Or is it?, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:51, archived)
# Bangkok?
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:52, archived)
# heh
'Man you walk through turnstile sideways going to Bangkok'
(I helped save b3ta! barnesy, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:54, archived)
# Uruguay?
(I helped save b3ta! NomDePlume fo shizzle my nizzle old bean, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:08, archived)
# Feltham?
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:18, archived)
# Eek!
*cowers behind sofa*
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:51, archived)
# mmmm
Special eyes in a piccy...
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:00, archived)
# sorry


Is 158 k too big by the way? I know the FAQ says 150 is alright but some of you guys fit an epic into your little giffies
(Maroon Balloon, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:45, archived)
# probably somethin gto do with the fact your gif is very, very big
you could make it half the size and still legible
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:46, archived)
# I'm a
300k kinda guy myself. So I can't bitch about file sizes. Ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:46, archived)
# an elephant in a jiffy bag?
not likely

yowzer the pun


wooyay
(I helped save b3ta! lemony, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:47, archived)
# Argh!
Punnage!
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:49, archived)
# people tend to
keep them to 280px wide or less, in case a moderator wants to put it on the front page. if you did that, yours would be teensy. 158k's not bad!

nice pun.
(I helped save b3ta! freshlegs, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:54, archived)
# I'm impressed something quite so huge
comes in with such a low filesize.
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:07, archived)
# Teehee
Took me a while, but YAY!!

YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY
(I helped save b3ta! useful_idiot, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:55, archived)
# Much as he loved these guys,


Elvis knew he was going to have to find himself a less gimicky band if he *really* wanted to make it..

Inspired by this

And, yes, I do know that the Roland keyboard is too modern
(Gothman, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:34, archived)
# not to mention the prs bass
(might be fender)
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:38, archived)
# Not a Fender Precision then?
I like the sound they make; all rattly and deep.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:45, archived)
# as are the prs bass and tanglewood guitar
(those might both be wrong)

the pics amazing none the less
(I helped save b3ta! lemony, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:38, archived)
# Yeah
But the keyboard was the most obvious - spent too long looking for source pics to care much tho
(Gothman, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:43, archived)
# spooky but woo the elvis and the manitees
/pedants
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)
# I'm just surprised
that a manatee looks that good on a keyboard. No fingers, you see.
(A Wooden Leg Named Smith, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:28, archived)
# yay!


my favouritest picture ever.
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:39, archived)
# And
rightly so. :-)
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:55, archived)
# FUCKING zeppelin!
I'm the fucking IT manager and I sit near the door. Now normally that's not a problem, I just put on a smile when someone comes in and find out what they want. This morning was different. A lady rings the "oi you!" bell and when I ask how I can help she says "I'm xxx xxxx and I'm starting work here today."

You're fucking what? No one told me! Do you need a computer? A login for the network? An email account?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargggghhhhh fucking watermelony cranberry!
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:42, archived)
# Isn't your job
to help people?
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)
# Oh course it is!
And it's a job I enjoy doing. Few things better in this world than taking someone who's positively livid with broken technology, holding their hand and leaving them smiling and happy. That's why I got into this work.

What gives me the right zeppelins though is when the boss hires someone and doesn't let me know.
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:49, archived)
# Bloody women.
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)
# yeah
with their boobs and pantyliners!
pah!
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:45, archived)
# work?
schmucks
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)
# unlucky
i have been volunteered todo free tech support for a local special school for this whole year
(I helped save b3ta! lemony, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:45, archived)
# Ahahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:45, archived)
# When all else fails
visit here tardblog.com/ for a few moments of relief.
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:52, archived)
# That's the funniest thing
in the world. Ever.
(I helped save b3ta! dogsbollocks, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:09, archived)
# oh
the huge manatee !
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)
# Nice
He looks like he's about to River Dance!
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:45, archived)
# I find your lack of faith disturbing.................


Edit: I think this is my best yet (the pope one is funnier though)
(Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez is seriously considering a shorter username, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:34, archived)
# Always good to see Death!
I AGREE.
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:36, archived)
# :(
I don't get it :(
(Trig, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:36, archived)
# Whats to get
Tis Death Maul
(Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez is seriously considering a shorter username, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:37, archived)
# Is it?
Or am I only seeing one frame of a gif? if not... i dont get it still.
(Trig, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:39, archived)
# No animation
just part of my one man bandwaggon
(Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez is seriously considering a shorter username, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:40, archived)
# D.o.F.
has a habit of being 'one of these kids is doing their own thing'.
After a while you start to aquire a taste for it.

(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)
# Thank you
so kind
(Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez is seriously considering a shorter username, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:07, archived)
# Death, y'know Death
TALKS LIKE THIS, likes kittens and curry. Bad taste in decor. Horse called Binky.
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:38, archived)
# think i know the guy you mean
daughter called isabell? grandaughter called susan?
(I helped save b3ta! lemony, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:40, archived)
# susan
KENNEDY?
(I helped save b3ta! stevierar, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:41, archived)
# No, no, no
much sexier!
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:42, archived)
# Sexier than
Susan Kennedy? How possible?
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:47, archived)
# That's the bloke!
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:41, archived)
# about yay high
or is it woo high, i could never tell
(1, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:43, archived)
# Yay high.
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)
# oh...
DEATH.
(1, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:40, archived)
# Yay
For Discworld
(Prof_Frink has remembered his username, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:58, archived)
# The woo
is strong with this one
(Icouldsleepforever, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:40, archived)
# Diefenbaker!
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:32, archived)
# hahahah
how inquisitive
(I helped save b3ta! viperrr mostly comes out at night, mostly, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:33, archived)
# MCHAEL FUCKING WINNER IN DRAG!!!
what the hell has happened to the world

edit: sorry the pics amazing
(I helped save b3ta! lemony, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:33, archived)
# that creature has a "i want to bugger you" look in its eyes
and the thing in the middle is giving off evil vibes, too.
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:34, archived)
# God, I hated that programme.
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:34, archived)
# EVIL!!
That was a great show!!


I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Nikfuf Eetr Northern Midlander, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:37, archived)
# I'm watching it now
my girlfriend has season 1 and 2 on vhs.
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:38, archived)
# Nope
totally toss.
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:39, archived)
# it's OK.
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:43, archived)
# good wolfy
loved that show
/sado

(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:35, archived)
# Ohhhhh, that Mountie!
I would, and I don't care.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:38, archived)
# heheh
you loon!
(I helped save b3ta! monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:40, archived)
# i think i liked that show...
what was it called?
(I helped save b3ta! *f o o f* is a craft-aholic, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:00, archived)
# Due
South
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:05, archived)
# Woo to the pic
But I'm flabbergasted that more than three people on the board have heard of it. Of course, I actually live in Canada, so certain channels are obsessed with it.
(A Wooden Leg Named Smith, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:32, archived)
# you are all wishing that you could be me
and an american!

USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA
(baaa, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:31, archived)
# i love you
and want sex with your hair.
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:32, archived)
# Damn
you beat me to it!
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:32, archived)
# do not worry.
there is plenty of hairlove to go around.

unless you get drunk and cut it yourself.
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:33, archived)
# Ha ha ha
Mind you, I could do with a trim...
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:34, archived)
# i have a nice short haircut.
it makes me look 'ard.
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:34, archived)
# chafing
ooo
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:36, archived)
# Strangly no,
makes me look stupid!
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:37, archived)
# big sloppy gay snog for
sexy smooth talking americans
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:32, archived)
# yeah we're crazy like that
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:33, archived)
# certifiably so
even.
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:34, archived)
# I'm American
and actually would like nothing to do with you.
I love soccer.
(I helped save b3ta! Willis_McScruff, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:33, archived)
# i'm british,
and i can't stand football, we should swap

we already have your president!
(I helped save b3ta! stevierar, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:37, archived)
# Ok :)
(I helped save b3ta! Willis_McScruff, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:48, archived)
# seconded...
he's a stupid-head...hehe...woooooo soccer!
(I helped save b3ta! *f o o f* is a craft-aholic, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:03, archived)
# Are you Hacksaw Jim Duggan
?
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:34, archived)
# hehe

/shows age!

*gets 2 by 4*
(I helped save b3ta! monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)
# please,
you're making the rest of us look bad,
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Or is it?, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:34, archived)
# You mean we're not?
I thought the way things have been going we would at least be a principality by now...
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:35, archived)
# everywhere is a suburb of america
or will be soon.

once mc donalds move in you've had your chips.
(I helped save b3ta! popt_art, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:43, archived)
# 'Fries'
Dearie, 'fries'.
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:47, archived)
# I'm American too
Viva Mexico, woo yay for Americans
(I helped save b3ta! lord bofingham, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:37, archived)
# yes,
you are absolutely right, i wish i was you

i wish i had an extra cock on my head
(I helped save b3ta! monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:43, archived)
# you mean you don't?
that's the only reason I ever talked to you... I thought you did!
(I helped save b3ta! popt_art, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)
# hehe
eh up there:)

how the devil are you?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:45, archived)
# reasonable
you? :)
(I helped save b3ta! popt_art, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:55, archived)
# tired:|
(I helped save b3ta! monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:58, archived)
# extra...
...one on his head just isn't enough
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:45, archived)
# you cheeky monkey!
:p
(I helped save b3ta! monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:48, archived)
# you know you love it
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:49, archived)
# take me!
take me now!


cocking nobber
(I helped save b3ta! popt_art, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:43, archived)
# you're so
13337
(I helped save b3ta! robtoo is all out of gum, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:54, archived)
# my 2nd post
and im keeping to a meme theme...



my first b3ta contribution here
(darkness (not like the band), Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:26, archived)
# are you THE darkness by any chance?
you have amusing teeth.
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:27, archived)
# nope
(see profile)
(darkness (not like the band), Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:29, archived)
# damn, bugger and blast.
if you hear a sound like water going down a plughole, then you're shagged.
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:31, archived)
# woo
(Tvit, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:28, archived)
# gee thanks!
my first woo!
(darkness (not like the band), Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:29, archived)
# and a
yay to go with it!
(I helped save b3ta! viperrr mostly comes out at night, mostly, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:30, archived)
# and thanks
to you too

i love b3tans, everyone is positivley lovely
(darkness (not like the band), Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:36, archived)
# *hug*
:-)~~
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:48, archived)
# im sure youll get lots more
your images are great
(Tvit, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:30, archived)
# aw *blushes*
i shall strive to keep the quality of my work up! ;)

to go off on a tangent, has anyone else had problems using yahoo briefcase? i originally posted my first image from there but now ive swapped to msn groups because i was getting redex syndrome!
(darkness (not like the band), Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:33, archived)
# TJ
so B3ta radio then, where's that?
(I helped save b3ta! lord bofingham, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:29, archived)
# in london
next!
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Or is it?, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:31, archived)
# no
not physically, URLLLLLLY, or whatever
(I helped save b3ta! lord bofingham, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:32, archived)
# 104.4 FM in london, Fridays 1600-1700
also accessible www.resonancefm.com
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:31, archived)
# Y
thang u
(I helped save b3ta! lord bofingham, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:33, archived)
# A reminder though:
b3ta radio, despite its name, is NOT really related to b3ta.com.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Or is it?, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:33, archived)
# 'Shopped images are so hard
to convey over the airwaves!
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:40, archived)
# it s a bit late, but ive only just got in
(I helped save b3ta! lo, the OTHER greebo warrior, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:59, archived)
# The look of love
(Tvit, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:25, archived)
# animate tongues
!
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:26, archived)
# i was going to do that
but too sick in my opinion - up to your imagination
(Tvit, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:27, archived)
# go on....
you know you want to
(I helped save b3ta! viperrr mostly comes out at night, mostly, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:28, archived)
# lol
(Tvit, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:28, archived)
# aww woo!
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Or is it?, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:32, archived)
# hehe !
saucy !
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:37, archived)
# BJ and the Bear
(b3rl1n, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:00, archived)
# Found this on the kitchen floor today
I have the flu though, so it may be the only reason I found it funny.

Spong Scourer

If it redexes it's because Pipex webspace is being rubbish again...
(SlinkySkunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:22, archived)
# i've seen that many a time in bathrooms
and grinned
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:23, archived)
# hmm

real you know /ranzten
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:25, archived)
# doesnt it mean bum in america?
(The Cosmic Boy Zombie (Formerly Pirate Cat), Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:26, archived)
# no,
you're thinking of tramp
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:27, archived)
# nooo,
a fanny is your bum.
a bum is a tramp.
a tramp is a whore.

where to go from there?
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:28, archived)
# Jamaica?
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:30, archived)
# How does it smell?
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Or is it?, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:35, archived)
# It can't
I sliced it off... [/spitting image]
(SlinkySkunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:41, archived)
# tramp is a hoe
hoe is a weed-ex 2000
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:31, archived)
# hoe is a weed
weed is a drug of some sort
(1, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:39, archived)
# Yes
and woo to both pics!
(I helped save b3ta! Willis_McScruff, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:28, archived)
# its still funny
(Tvit, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:26, archived)
# Sorry
if it's been done.

(GirlMonkey, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:21, archived)
# hehehe
if it's got status quo in it... i don't care if it's already been done!

woo
(I helped save b3ta! viperrr mostly comes out at night, mostly, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:22, archived)
# he's got a greatest hits album out
too
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:22, archived)
# he's also got his cock out.
er...
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:27, archived)
# you mean this
www.b3ta.com/board/2353166
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:32, archived)
# As publicity stunts go, I'd recommend sacking
his PR agency
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:34, archived)
# Inspired by todays RE lesson

sorry for cappiness - I had to make is in MS Picture it Studio :(
(Cockfosters!, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:18, archived)
# hehehe
woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:19, archived)
# ohh Jesus Christ!
that is lame
(baaa, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:19, archived)
# *bows*
i thnak you
(Cockfosters!, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:20, archived)
# uuurrrgghhhhh
RE lessons
(I helped save b3ta! viperrr mostly comes out at night, mostly, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:20, archived)
# wouldn't it be embarrasing to get a boner
whilst being crucified
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:22, archived)
# that caused me much hilarity
and yes, yes it would...
(I helped save b3ta! jme, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:27, archived)
# Remember, no one wants a badly shaped cock!
You brits have some strange habits.
But it inspired me.....


(BTW, This is my second post, also the second to include snoop dogg. I'd like to point out that that is pure coincidence...)
(Wot, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:15, archived)
# that was your first post?
drizzle?

that was all that!
(mixtapes, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:16, archived)
# Tell the truth
You all want to sex me down don't you?
(baaa, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:18, archived)
# Only with riot cannon
i'm afraid.
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:23, archived)
# I think he likes you
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:14, archived)
# yay!
I want one - they look like perfect pets!
(I helped save b3ta! barnesy, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:14, archived)
# i want one
or 2 in case i break one
(I helped save b3ta! Paintmash, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:15, archived)
# Cool
Thats me sorted for a date this weekend then
(Icouldsleepforever, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:15, archived)
# Woo and

(nan-demo, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:17, archived)
# that's really
really well done.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:17, archived)
# Squeeze it!
Squeeze it now!

woo!
(I helped save b3ta! NomDePlume fo shizzle my nizzle old bean, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:17, archived)
# That's lovely
Though I'm amazed the holder seems to have retained all of their digits :)
(I helped save b3ta! weevilstepmother, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:17, archived)
# Odd. That doesn't load for me on the board
but loads when I 'open in new window.'

Regardless, it's another fantasgreat picture, Ted!
(I helped save b3ta! Willis_McScruff, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:17, archived)
# not
sure why that would be but cheers :)
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:19, archived)
# I think it's just Safari.
EDIT: Odd, now it shows up.
(I helped save b3ta! Willis_McScruff, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:24, archived)
# i saw that and thought
of sex it must be Tedmus
('Andeh', Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:40, archived)
# how do i...
bring the size of my photos down. i have a small photo but it is 178kb what do i do
(STINK_BOMB, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:10, archived)
# you should be able
to use the resize option in any half decent image manipulation software

edit - oh yeah, and it may be that you need to do the compression right, as other people have suggested. That tends to be off the options you'll be presented wth while you're saving it (he says, after reading the 'I have a small image' bit) /sheepish
(I helped save b3ta! barnesy, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:11, archived)
# what image
software are you using?
(I helped save b3ta! freshlegs, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:11, archived)
#
i am useing fireworks
(STINK_BOMB, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:13, archived)
# READ THE F*CKING MANUAL!
What is so WRONG with you, dude?

It's not illegal, you know!


Jeez, please, impress me. Get it right and become something smashing.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:24, archived)
# oooh, look. fluffy.
(rednc, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:29, archived)
# some one even posted a screen shot of where
on the menu to go, and they are still refusing to pay any attention.
There are times when fluffy becomes a tad tricky
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:32, archived)
# agreed
i was only having a bit of fun with him. trying to lighten the mood. it's almost time to go home in my part of the world and i was feeling generous.
(rednc, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:36, archived)
# The problem
is, that we keep tellintg him how to do it, and he isn't doing it. That suggests either incompetance, unwillingness to follow instructions, or a form of extreme stupidity which would suggest turning the computer off asap, before those nice nigerian men come calling again...
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:32, archived)
# hah!
now you've warned him. what is wrong with you?
(rednc, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:35, archived)
# Sleep
deprivation.

And the fact that i've written out at least five times a detailed set of instructions to try and help this moron, only for him not to follow them.
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:37, archived)
# mayhaps
if you them scribe in extremely bad nigerienglish he understand will
(rednc, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:39, archived)
# Or smack him around the head with a
metal tablet with the instructions engraved on it in comic sans, the 'idiots' font.
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:42, archived)
# I think this knobhead is doing a...
"Louie Theroux Is Stupid" act on us. Please consider this when replying to anything he posts. They're too stupid to be real.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)
# miiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
great minds...
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:45, archived)
# you could certainly
be right there.
(rednc, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:46, archived)
# Please Magic Donkey (Whom God Preserve)...
...make a sin bin where the mods can email the miscreant and Explain Things and get a reply to establish an intellectual pulse.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:42, archived)
# I have a feeling it is
part of the troll epidemic we currently seem to be suffering from. STINK_BOMB never seems to hang around after the first ask for help. He/she/it certainly hasn't replied to any of the instructional posts we've left for him. I have a feeling he's just doing it to irritate us.
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:44, archived)
# he hung around this time
there's a response a couple of lines down. mind, it's short enough that perhaps his pet monkey typed it.
(rednc, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:48, archived)
# I know, he responded to me.
But that is as far as we ever get with him.
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:56, archived)
# No Shit Sherlock...
I've always wanted to use that. No offence, likesay.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:49, archived)
# amen?
(rednc, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:45, archived)
# Well, you know...
...half the lazy, bootcut-wearing, coked-up, ad community sat in their uncomfortable W1 offices are scraping ideas from this place like a bloody mushroom farm. We should at least have the dignity to realise it and, um, indulge in excessively focussed cultural jamming.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:52, archived)
# what ever program you are using, you *should*
have an option to edit the JPEG (if that's what you're using, for a photo you should be!) quality, the;

lower the number is : the smaller the file
the higher : the more pretty it is

About 5/6/7 is usually good enough

hope that helps!
(I helped save b3ta! stevierar, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:11, archived)
# save as jpg
60% quality
300 ish wide.

done.
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:12, archived)
# is it
a png file still?
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:12, archived)
#
yes
(STINK_BOMB, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:13, archived)
# use export wizard
and it should suggest a nice smallish jpg.
use 'image size' to reduce the pixels to 400 or so wide to make the filesize smaller too.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:15, archived)
# Alternatively, read
one of many of the previous attempts we've made to show you how to do it. Click on the window tab and the go down the list and click on optimise. A new little menu window should open. One of the drop down menus in this window should have settings next to it. Choose jpeg from the drop down list, then click on file up the top again, and select export from the list. Choose a file name and then click save.
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:18, archived)
# some nice person
made you a picture last night showing how to do it. it was great! i'll try to find it...

edit: wooo! here you go!

www.b3ta.com/board/2347967 (there's a great picture in there showing how to export your picture as a .jpg)
(I helped save b3ta! freshlegs, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:16, archived)
# Bloody hell,
I've said exactly the smae thing in that one to.
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:21, archived)
# you need scissors
(I helped save b3ta! popt_art, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:34, archived)
# My attempt at the alien lady from the cinematic treat that is Cocoon..
.. and its wonderful sequel Cocoon: The Return.
Possibly NSFW
(nan-demo, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:07, archived)
# possibly?
where you you work?
woo.
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:08, archived)
# someone tell me how NSFW
i want to open.
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:08, archived)
# arty
detailed

(mumbler boobies. no anim)
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:10, archived)
# Best to be safe
I don't want people shouting at me
"ARGH NSFW!! LINK IT!" etc
(nan-demo, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:08, archived)
# I meant it definately was
I though you might work in a 'gentlemens club' or summingt
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:11, archived)
# I CAN SEE
HER FRONT-BOTTOM!
(I helped save b3ta! stevierar, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:08, archived)
# Click
...
click?

CLICKY CLICKY CLICK

*Note to self, clicking more than once doesn't make it open quicker*
(I helped save b3ta! Dave - KneHigHbOb talks, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:10, archived)
# woo!
and yep, probably NSFW
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Kitteny Berk almost certainly drunk, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:08, archived)
# radiant sir.....
...radiant !
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:15, archived)

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