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Things I would like to do:
Take up a textiles course to learn to make my own clothes.
Have a go at jewellery making.

What would you like to learn how to do? Tell me now.
(I helped save b3ta! Bats, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:54, archived)
Glass blowing
All primal and that
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:55, archived)
Cut in a straight line
using scissors. It's my lifes ambition.
(Bababoon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:55, archived)
When I was i the third year of first school I told my teacher I couldn't cut straight
He kept me in at dinner time and made me cut a load of A4 up. The lesson I learnt was Mr Robinson was a vindictive cunt.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:57, archived)
Mrs Robinson in our School
was also a right horrible twat. Always free and easy with the throwing of blackboard rubbers at us. She's dead now. This does not make me sad.
(Bababoon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:04, archived)
Mr Gwilliam twatted Eddie in the head with a board rubber, he was a cunt too.
he once asked me if I liked him, naturally I said no, so the fucker hit me. Top teaching tips there kids.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:05, archived)
Fly a full size helicopter
also how to carve a spoon without causing blood loss.
(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:56, archived)
I would like to try this
I can fly RC Helicopters fairly well and think the real life can't be that difficult
(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:02, archived)
Another RC heli pilot :)
Well it must be easier than RC helis, no nose in to learn ;)
(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:08, archived)
Fly a plane

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:56, archived)
Play a keyboard.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:57, archived)
fly like superman
i'm aiming high
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:58, archived)
I would like to be able to draw better. My drawing skills are shit.
Also better at the piano, but that's just because I'm a tad rusty at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:58, archived)
that's not very ambitious
I'd like to learn how to breathe sand and a machine to make more outer space, but here
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:59, archived)
what if you could ONLY breathe sand
that wouldn't be much fun
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:04, archived)
how to boil and egggy wegggie, they have no instructions on them
i might ask a forum
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:59, archived)
Three of our electric trains failed yesterday when the HVAC packed up
If only people would shut the doors behind them then the system wouldn't be overworked in hot weather. Oh why must people be so rubbish when it comes to important heat related issues?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:01, archived)
it is a shocking view on modern society when people abuse the hvac
i've been having no end of troubles, a honeywell fcu controller packed up yesterday, the ladys office is very warm :((((
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:03, archived)
Sad times, sad times indeed.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:07, archived)
Breakdance

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:01, archived)
This had the chance of being one of the greatest headlines in newspaper history
but they blew it.

Bah.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:10, archived)
Oh, thats rubbish

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:12, archived)
Actually I'll ask this here instead of starting a new thread
I got bit by an insect a week ago and it didn't go away and now it swollen up again and gone all itchy.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:17, archived)
my sister-in-law has a syringe thing
that she clamps on bites and it sucks all the poison out. its a tad grim

EDIT: a lot like this
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:19, archived)
Doesn't your brother have a name?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:22, archived)
i had to read my post three times before i got that
its too fucking early.
shut up :(
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:25, archived)
Har!

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:30, archived)
I don't know if it would be worth me buying one of those just for the first proper insect bite I've ever had hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:25, archived)
How often do you have to be bitten and stung by stuff to make buying something like that viable?
I put it to you that your relatives are aie-aies
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:25, archived)
tight cunt
its only a tenner and its reusable
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:29, archived)
Not being bitten by animals is free

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:30, archived)
some of us cant help being so fucking tasty

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:33, archived)
If you didn't stink quite so much of shit the flies would go elsewhere

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:36, archived)
If I were this girl I once saw on holiday I would carry one of them around with me everywhere
She was covered from head to toe in bites it looked horrid!
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:29, archived)
I bet they were fags burns
Because she said no to her uncle
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:31, archived)
can you ask her if she'll buy my patented headache-away sponges?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:54, archived)
Put some anithystamine cream on it or something
Failing that, ask someone who is a health professional not some wankers off the internet. Cheers.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:19, archived)
MEH! Miserence
I didn't start a new thread about it though did I? Hmmm HMMMMMMMMMM
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:20, archived)
Look
I've just been woken up after five hours kip by some cunt sawing through roof slates next door. I'll grump if I fucking want. ALRIGHT!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:22, archived)
You should have gone to bed earlier grumpy

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:23, archived)
I didn't finish work until 1

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:24, archived)
ok you are officially let off.

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:26, archived)
Yeah, damn right

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:27, archived)
5 hours is plenty
man up, mary
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:52, archived)
Not if you have a proper job
Sweating myself inside out I was, fucking grim day.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:00, archived)
It depends what you got bitten by.
You might need a steroid injection to calm the reaction down.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:42, archived)
I was really hoping for a good old fashioned thunder storm today.
But no, it has to be fucking sunny. Shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:12, archived)
If there is going to be a thunderstorm then this is the best kind of weather to breed one
Early morning hot is good if you want a storm. All it takes is a tiny bit of cold air later on and BOOM!
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:16, archived)
I bloody hope so.
I'm a fan of warm weather as the next person but living in the shadow of a massive hill means heat is always coupled with a crippling humidity.
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:18, archived)
the wrestler has to be one of the worst films ive ever seen

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:14, archived)
Young Victoria
I saw about ten minutes of it. Slept the rest.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:15, archived)
i quite enjoyed it
how d'you like them apples?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:44, archived)
teeeedium.
if i wanted to see mongs work in a deli i'd fuck off to morrisons for an hour
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:55, archived)
I thought it was brilliant.

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:46, archived)
it was very odd seeing todd from FotC in there!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:51, archived)
i wanted to like it! i do love a bit of wrestling
but he worked in the deli, he went to see his daughter, he drank in the titty bar, he went to see his daughter, titty bar, he worked in the deli, titty bar, deli and so on and so forth.

it dragged :( and i waited and waited for the good shit to kick in but good god it was tedious.
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:54, archived)
there was wrasslin' and tits!
what kind of man are you?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:56, archived)
bare minimal wrestling
and sure her tits were nice but theres special films for that shit. i was disappointed.
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:59, archived)
i dunno, that hardcore match was pretty brutal
he did a good job for a non-wrestler

i'm glad they used him instead of an actual wrestler who can't act for shit
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 9:10, archived)
Nothing that interesting happens around here
I need more dwarves
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:14, archived)
That
is spectacular.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:18, archived)
I think that just broke something in my head.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:21, archived)
I can't think of anything sadder than a troupe of dead midget wrestlers.

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:30, archived)
eh, i'm sure that headline has changed since i looked at it the first time

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:44, archived)
I'm applying for a job with the DWP
but unfortunately, they've redesigned their website, and the application form page has disappeared, along with the details i put on yesterday.
gah. Can't even get a job at the dole.

edit: Have downloaded a rtf version of it. Aaah. That's better.
(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:29, archived)
*sympathy reply*

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:37, archived)
Today I'm being interviewed for a job that may require me to forego female contact
and grow a dangerously unpleasant neckbeard.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:38, archived)
your going to go for a job in game?

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:40, archived)
Our local GAME has girls that work there.
I think it's to help pull in the sweaty pocket miner demographic.

What I'm being interviewed for is far less social.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:42, archived)
tax man!

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:43, archived)
Steady on, I'm applying for a job, not selling my soul to Satan.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:44, archived)
Linux tech support?

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:51, archived)
Now that's just an unreasonably accurate guess.
How did you know?
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:55, archived)
Because the only people who sport neckbeards are fatties and UNIX programmers, and you're no fatty.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:56, archived)
Not yet.
Going from a job where I walk around for six hours a day to one where I sit down all day while consuming the same number of energy drinks is likely to leave me a little denser.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:58, archived)
You're going to get diabetes.
Enjoy your feet while you can.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:02, archived)
I may become the world's first crime-fighting linux techie just to keep the weight off.
Fancy becoming my sidekick?
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:07, archived)
I'm nobody's sidekick.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:16, archived)
Did you save it?
It does tell you on the website to save it
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:40, archived)
did save it,
but it was a 404 error when i clicked on the link.
seems to be ok now though. go figure. mebbe the dwp website has opening times.
(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:59, archived)
They do a pre-selection interview
before you even get a chance at a job, just to filter out the nutcases. I got offered the "pre-selection group choice" I think they called it - I turned it down for a proper job.

Good luck with it though. Have you tried ringing the jobcentre you applied for?
(I helped save b3ta! Bats, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:50, archived)
It's the one i sign on at now
Been there twice this week already. There's a 30/1 chance that I'll have an interview at TK Maxx in the next fortnight. Oh, the glamour....
(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:56, archived)
*Hug*
I know how it is. Nowt more depressing than the jobcentre, except maybe the post office, and at least you can get out of there fairly quickly.
(I helped save b3ta! Bats, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 8:00, archived)
Quiet in here, isn't it.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 6:24, archived)

b3ta.com/board/9557717
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 6:29, archived)
You must have everyone on ignore

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 6:42, archived)
I have the whole internet on ignore.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 6:42, archived)
Well im ignoring you twice
And ive got my eyes shut
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 6:49, archived)
RAWL!
Hello.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 6:51, archived)
Morning.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 6:56, archived)
Morning!
I had nightmares of this:
j.photos.cx/19K9F-151.gif
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 6:59, archived)
haha fuck

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:03, archived)
only in silence, the word
bright, the hawk's flight on an empty sky
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:03, archived)
what do you expect for half six in the morning silly
can you not sleep again?
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:09, archived)
Nope, not tired.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:14, archived)
nor me but then I have been working all night and should be up at 12 to go out
now here I am wide bloody awake.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:24, archived)
I think it's because it's never properly dark these days.
I was the same in Australia, barely slept.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 7:26, archived)
Anyone here ever hear of Steven "Seething" Wells before?
Apparently he was working at local paper here but I never heard of him till he up and died of some cancer :(

He wrote for NME. I don't know what that means.

His cancer was entertaining:
www.philadelphiaweekly.com/news-and-opinion/cover-story/the_english_patient-38416404.html

He was a poet too:
www.philadelphiaweekly.com/news-and-opinion/steven-wells/IN-MEMORIAM.html
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:21, archived)
no

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:29, archived)

confessions.grouphug.us/confessions/988827192
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:30, archived)

confessions.grouphug.us/confessions/862809606
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:31, archived)
Sexface again.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:31, archived)
These are yours, aren't they.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:31, archived)
I always get off easy with you

(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:31, archived)
have you tried thinking about football?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:32, archived)
blah blah
Hi i am quite drunk. Word to your mother.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:37, archived)
Hello.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:38, archived)
HelloGORGEOUSEsme

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:56, archived)
What have you been drinking?
I stayed up all night, I am too excited to sleep :D
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:57, archived)
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER
When do you get back to Ireland??
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 5:14, archived)
TODAY
At five past five in the evening.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 5:21, archived)
Eleven hours and forty three minutes to go.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 5:22, archived)
Just read that English Patient
Very funny!
(Glomp Fuck, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:55, archived)
My boyfriend has potentially broken up with me

But annoyingly, seems to have gone to sleep without confirmation. Sigh.

No particular reason either, he just seemed to go off on one having apparently mis-read a text message I sent him.

Ho hum, boys eh! No sleep for me tonight anywho. Awaiting news probably mid-moring / whenever he wakes up - while I'm at work. Yay.....
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:48, archived)
Sympathy fuck?

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:50, archived)
Tempting...
But I ought to wait til he gets back to me I suppose.
I checked Facebook and everything (for it is the fountain of all knowledge), all he's done tonight since the misunderstanding is tag me in a few photos. So perhaps he's realised he was being silly, but just ignoring me to annoy me... He can be a spiteful little so-and-so sometimes.

Be nice to know though *annoyed face*
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:55, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/ghostly1.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:50, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/freaky.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:21, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/daytime.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:21, archived)
Are these photos meant to relate to anything?
I'm guessing not, but thought I'd ask, just in case... *shrug*
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:25, archived)
You're not looking deeply enough into them.
It portrays and awful lot about yours and your boyfriend's relationship.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:27, archived)
I guess the face in the second one looks a bit like me...
:D
But other than that I fail to see the resemblance
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:28, archived)
break into his haus
and bludgeon him to death. it's what he would have wanted
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:52, archived)
Fantastic thread!

(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:52, archived)
Apologies
But none of my friends are up this late, I didn't know who else to share my monotony with!
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:56, archived)
In that case, I too have woes.
It's fucking hot but I have great rotating fan. Sometimes I'm real warm and sometimes I'm chilly. PLEASE HELP.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:59, archived)
:(
I feel your pain
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:01, archived)
get a chair with wheels so you can keep in front of it

(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:03, archived)
But then I'll just be cold.
What a horrible world we live in.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:18, archived)
Hold me.

(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:20, archived)
*holds*
virtually, of course
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:20, archived)
Excellent
So it seems he is a controlling passive-agressive to match your insecure over-emotionalism. what a nice pair.
crawl into bed and give him a blow job is my advice. It solves most relationship problems
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:01, archived)
TBH
I'm more concerned that I don't feel emotional about this. Just slightly peeved that he's left me not knowing either way! Doh.
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:03, archived)
Oh
And he's not at my house so blow job is not doable. I actually suggested he go home and play PC games (something he often moans about not being able to do much). I thought I was being nice...
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:06, archived)
*breaking up fives*

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:21, archived)
Really? Were you living together?
Living together and breaking up is the worst.

On the plus side - Bruno is out soon
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:46, archived)
Technically no
But he does have clothes and a few other bits here. Hopefully that's not going to be an issue, if he stops being an arse when he wakes up tomorrow!
He's a strange one, one minute he wants to move in, the next he's got annoyed about something or other and wants to let me know what a crap girlfriend I am while telling me I'll lose him if I don't improve...
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:50, archived)
It sounds like you need to call his bluff and tell him to go fuck himself with that shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:51, archived)
He used to be such a happy chappy though
And I try to restore that status, but invariably fail as I can't make his shit job better, or improve his money situation *sigh*
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:56, archived)
You can't make him happy if he's miserable like that.
He's just going to end up making you miserable. He sounds like a right moody tosser, to be honest.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:57, archived)
This
I mean, try talking to him, tell him that's it not your fault and you're not going to take shit like that from him (if you really won't, it's your choice).

If he gives you a load of hell and dumps you, then better off without him.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:00, archived)
Humm
I have considered this, but I haven't really got the guts to do it. I'd probably just burst into tears, not want to say anything else, and wind him up. I do cry annoyingly easily (so I'm confused as to why I haven't even come close tonight)
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:08, archived)
I tend to cry too
You could not be crying for a few reasons:

1) You're not upset because it's not as bad as it seems

2) The idea of breaking up with him isn't that bad

3) You're numb.

I'd guess 1. It's late, he's not responding so it'll seem worse, and nobody likes fighting. Just see how it goes tomorrow :)

And on that note, I'm off to bed. My other half is blind drunk and I fear that he may fall over unless I tuck him in! Oh joy.

Good luck :)
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:16, archived)
Cheers
And good luck to you! G'night
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:19, archived)
sounds like you need to do the breaking up
otherwise, have fun accepting the emotional abuse.
(I helped save b3ta! Shiksa, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:54, archived)
This.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:57, archived)
oww :(
Wasn't expecting any advice at all I must admit, this has taken me slightly aback...
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:03, archived)
Then darlin, LEAVE HIM
Any cunt that's slowly eating away at self-esteem like that isn't worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:56, archived)
:(
It's a recent thing though, I was hoping I could make his life better and as a result mine...
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:59, archived)
He's asking you to 'improve'? At what? Why should you have to improve?
I wouldn't have the patience for that kind of shite.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:01, archived)
At being a girlfriend in general I think...
*shrug*
I do love him, he says he loves me, and it's not all bad - though more so since he started this shitty dead-end job.
I haven't really got anyone else either if I'm honest... Hence talking to b3ta *blushes*
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:06, archived)
Mate
If you think it will improve, then give it a go. Don't wait too long though. You can make friends. You can't easily recover from emotional abuse.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:08, archived)
Thanks dude/dudette
For all of your useful posts, good advice...
First thing is to see what he says tomorrow, if it's on I'm gonna see how it goes, talk to him if he keeps being a tit. If it's off, I've wasted everyone's time :( lol

I can hear birds and my house looks less dark, so given that I have to get up at 7 I think I might crawl back into bed and see if I can catch some sleeps. Thanks everyone for not flaming me for being a loser! :D
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 4:12, archived)
damn it all, I'm out of cig filters

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:28, archived)
Smoke it through cheese.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:31, archived)

www.bpmlegal.com/wcheese.html
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:31, archived)
lol
www.bpmlegal.com/wpeesupport.html
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:32, archived)
Haha!
Your Googlage seems far superior to most
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:34, archived)
I spilt a shitload of grated parmesan over a hot cooker once
the house stank like burning tramp underpants for a week
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:33, archived)

www.delphion.com/cgi-bin/viewpat.cmd/US05934226__?OUT_FORMAT=pdf&MODE=fstv
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:39, archived)
Is he drunk?
Because that technically negates any kick-off over misunderstanding of text messages.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:43, archived)
I hope not,
Because it was only about 10 minutes after he told me he'd driven home.

I suspect (hope) that in the morning he'll have calmed down and will send me something that makes sense. Have a horrible feeling he'll make this my fault though *sigh*
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:47, archived)
He's not one of those.. y'know... hair long and side parted, depressing music types is he?

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:50, archived)
You mean... An... EMO?!
Dear God no! He does have long hair, but no parting as such - tis dreadlocked. And he listens to DNB/Dub/Jungle mostily.
He used to be such a happy chappy, he has gone somewhat dark and misery-bound lately though. Presumably a combination of finishing uni, starting a shit job, having no money, and having a girlfriend who won't (quite) do everything he says ;)
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:54, archived)
From what you'd said above
He's taking it out on you, and before the emotional abuse gets worse.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 3:58, archived)
My ex flatmate has given me his account number and sort code
If I give it to you, what shenanigans could occur?
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:19, archived)
Fuck all without a name and address.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:21, archived)
This.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:23, archived)
I have a name, and could probably find his address
Hell, his address could actually be *my* address.
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:25, archived)
Post it on /b/, and pretend to be him.
Subject: hai faggots, fuck my life up!
Message: All the details on him you can find.


It could be an early christmas gift.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:29, archived)
Have you got the security code on the back?
If so, I can pay off my credit card.
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:22, archived)
Probably none, to be fair.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:23, archived)
Darn
So, no charities or anything?

Darn.

Big darns.
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:25, archived)
You'd have to post his full name and the address associated with the account.
Of course, in doing so, you'd get banned.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:31, archived)
I don't want that shit. Mugging the elderly and lame is much more rewarding.

(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:25, archived)
Karl Malden

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:13, archived)
Yes

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:14, archived)
Everyone seems to be fucking dying this week

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:15, archived)
Circle of life

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:16, archived)
Fucking hell, Dale Winton?!
EVERYONE is fucking dying

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8129408.stm
(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:17, archived)
Ronnie Biggs lives!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:18, archived)
I clicked that purely out of hope

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:20, archived)
Bernie Mac died?

(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:27, archived)
Oh man don't joke about such things

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:28, archived)
MICHAEL JACKSON

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:32, archived)
No, really.
http://fake.bbc.co.uk/news/number3987s.htm/
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:32, archived)
But man he dun did died.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernie_Mac
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:51, archived)
I remember reading that when he died.
Then I forgot that he died. No offence, Bernie Mac.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:53, archived)
except you
/ed
that was nasty, sorry its the heat
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:17, archived)
Indeed

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:24, archived)
It's very tempting to edit the whole of his wiki page with
"He's Dead!"
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:45, archived)
Wow what a misleading headline.
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/deidre/719215/Dear-Deidre-Sun-Agony-Aunt.html
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:49, archived)
Fucking hell

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:58, archived)
Deidre is one harsh slut in the reply to that.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:01, archived)
a friend told me her son has been asking her to buy condoms for him so he can attend group sex parties with the pikey girls from his school
the kid turned 13 in March
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:04, archived)
He needs a good slap

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:07, archived)
massive disappointment here
I was hoping for a Same Difference exclusive
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:57, archived)
Hai
www.b3ta.com/board/9557763
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 2:00, archived)
Funny vegetables
Ah, the slow news day staple of 'wonky genitalia-shaped parsnip' and 'cute animal-shaped potato' photos.

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/gallery/2009/jul/01/wonky-fruit-vegetables-supermarket-eu?picture=349560914

The Guardian knows what we all want to see more of in journalism - comedy vegetable based humour.
(jabboy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:05, archived)
we already get enough spastic jokes round here thank you very much

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:09, archived)
This is not That's Life
That, however, is a nifty spud
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:09, archived)
green shit, madam

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:10, archived)
Yeah

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:10, archived)
Mollie Sugden

(__, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:39, archived)
LOL INDEED
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:40, archived)
Look out, Sammi might be about.
randomn.es/images/c62fcf84f4866691d7a935f7627c5c69.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:41, archived)
Hahaha fuck

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:44, archived)
Roaneah telling the Internet that he is gay.
randomn.es/images/32e8de4a07eb7f203df15132ee706db6.gif
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:50, archived)

i44.tinypic.com/2isjwq0.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:53, archived)
Women: Know your place

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:54, archived)
Oh what is that from?
I've seen it.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:57, archived)
GMoS Home Video.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:58, archived)
OH JMG.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:58, archived)
Have you ever met him?
I have. And by met I mean tolerated for about 5 seconds out of politeness.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:53, archived)
Hah, excellent.
He's an insecure cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:57, archived)
My views on mincing queens are well documented on /talk

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:58, archived)
At the Hood Butter's? He was drunker than me.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:59, archived)
He's a hideous cunt.
At least you were frotting yours up my leg in the pub, you minx.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:03, archived)
Pfffft

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:04, archived)
I feel I know you better than I should

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:07, archived)
I don't remember that:(

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:08, archived)
I do
:(
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:09, archived)
HAHA

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:09, archived)
You shut up.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:10, archived)
You can't make me.
Fuggo.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:19, archived)
It was like my trousers had been savaged by a massive slug

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:12, archived)
Clickin' dis!

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:18, archived)
LOLDEAD
Warning, furry porn.
randomn.es/?pic=80196
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:41, archived)
Rule 34 always applies.
randomn.es/?pic=01196
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:42, archived)
I choose Bulbasaur.
randomn.es/?pic=21196
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:43, archived)
A wild Abra appears.
randomn.es/?pic=31196
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:43, archived)
Wild Abra uses Teleport.
*pfft*
randomn.es/?pic=71196
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:44, archived)
I caught one of them out with Hypnosis
randomn.es/?pic=81196
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:44, archived)
You were too slow this time.
randomn.es/?pic=91196
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:45, archived)
YOU HAVE RUINED CHRISTMAS NOW

(I helped save b3ta! RedStar returneth, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:43, archived)
I am ashamed
NSFA
randomn.es/?pic=41196
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:44, archived)
PHWOAR
www.nndb.com/people/513/000045378/mollie-sugden-1.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! RedStar returneth, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:41, archived)
What a spiffing hat

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:46, archived)
Needz moar
tinfoil
(I helped save b3ta! RedStar returneth, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:48, archived)
Why is that lad in the wheelchair smiling?
WHAT IS THERE TO SMILE ABOUT?
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:49, archived)
he is smiling
because we found that wheelchair
(I helped save b3ta! RedStar returneth, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:50, archived)
in a skip covered in old vegetables?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:04, archived)
Why did you give it such a tiny willy?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:51, archived)
we run out of tinfoil
It was due to be an epic thunderous gleaming schlong
(I helped save b3ta! RedStar returneth, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:52, archived)
Dreadful planning

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:52, archived)
i was her bridesmaid
next!
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:08, archived)
hello
by the way - I'm playing a male stripper in the full monty next week in a show. I've not LOLSICKRIKBRAGGED about it on here because I't's taken me a bit of time to get back into the swing of acting again.

I play the gay at the beginning of the stage version of tthe full monty. woohoo

gaz me if you're up north and want to come. I'll see if i can get you a ticket

LOL
(I helped save b3ta! SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:15, archived)
This is the lowest point of the internet, right here.
randomn.es/?pic=27096
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:16, archived)
even worse than the time when we cut off that boy's legs?

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:17, archived)
This is much worse
randomn.es/?pic=98096
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:20, archived)
Oh noes.
randomn.es/?pic=10196
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:32, archived)
Is it time to play "last 5 digits of your post number reversed go in this URL?"
randomn.es/?pic=48096
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:18, archived)
Things can only get better
Possibly a bit NSFW
randomn.es/?pic=68096
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:19, archived)
OH YES

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:20, archived)
Now I've found you
randomn.es/?pic=19096
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:21, archived)
haha sexy picard

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:22, archived)
I'd like to scramble her eggs
WITH MY SCRAMBLER SHAPED SPERMS

or fork/whisk whatever you use to do that
(I helped save b3ta! SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:21, archived)
Extra challenge for Rik:
Do this without checking what the image is first.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:22, archived)
Hello SickRik
That's very good news SickRik. Will you get your cock out, SickRik?

randomn.es/?pic=37096
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:17, archived)
no just a thong

(I helped save b3ta! SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:17, archived)
I didn't mean at the show, SickRik

randomn.es/?pic=28096
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:18, archived)
THIS NEEDS TO BE FILMED

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:17, archived)
it will be

(I helped save b3ta! SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:17, archived)
If I come midweek can I bring a friend for free
LOLORANGEWEDNESDAY
(I helped save b3ta! RedStar returneth, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:17, archived)
no
oh wait i just gOt it


lolz
(I helped save b3ta! SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:18, archived)
Bravo!

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:18, archived)
clickin dis

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:18, archived)
Arf

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:18, archived)
Pfffft
randomn.es/?pic=99096
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:23, archived)
nsfw
randomn.es/?pic=7866
(I helped save b3ta! RedStar returneth, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:34, archived)
Delicious bacon.
PORN. Fucking YES!
randomn.es/?pic=30196
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:35, archived)
YOU FAIL

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:37, archived)
Moobs?

(I helped save b3ta! Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:20, archived)
Oh right.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:25, archived)
I'm old
and shit.
Isketch anyone?
B3ta room.
(I helped save b3ta! Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:08, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/090496de5f6a6e451d79/rivet.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:08, archived)
what song do chas and dave perform when doing metalwork?
rivet, rivet, rivet
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:10, archived)
oh god i'm so sorry

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:11, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:11, archived)

farm4.static.flickr.com/3605/3633752862_d2a463fdca_o.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:10, archived)
pfft!

(I helped save b3ta! RedStar returneth, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:12, archived)
there's a whole universe of internet tragedy and trampled dreams happening right there in that photograph

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:13, archived)
I thought it was one of piston's childhood snaps

(I helped save b3ta! RedStar returneth, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:16, archived)
Tats say no, tits say go

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:17, archived)
Nah.
I want to get on the plane now. *excites*
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:10, archived)
You sound like a giddy terrorist

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:12, archived)
Racist.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:21, archived)
LOLPOTATO

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:44, archived)
Are you in the airport?

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:14, archived)
No, flying at 17:05 tomorrow.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:21, archived)
screw it then
*drinks more wine*
(I helped save b3ta! Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:15, archived)
what was the answer?

(I helped save b3ta! RedStar returneth, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:19, archived)
Helmut Kohl

(I helped save b3ta! Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:21, archived)
Was the question 'what does your penis look like if you wank after reading the paper?'

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:23, archived)
I'm talking to actual, real nonces.
My life is a joke.

EDIT: FUCK. ING. HELL.

[hard-as] hey there sedyx where you from and how old
[karla_f] uk, 13
[hard-as] cool you like being fucked babe
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:10, archived)
Have QOTW drawn you in?

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)
Nah.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)
Just wait
they will
(Stiff Richard, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:42, archived)
Your name gives me the fears

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:45, archived)
He's 160lbs of pure muscle.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:46, archived)

muscle nonce
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:50, archived)
Is this one a nonce as well?

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:56, archived)
He has a noncey aura about him

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:57, archived)
Nah, he's moving in with Rose.
She doesn't want him to, but we're pressing the subject.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:58, archived)
Who bummed what now?

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:00, archived)
It's all set.
www.b3ta.com/talk/6265959
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:01, archived)
*handshakes*

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:02, archived)
Why are you talking to nonces?

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:43, archived)
Why are you?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:43, archived)
Shut up Doveston.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:45, archived)
Hello Dave Trouser.
How are you this fine evening? I'm sitting on the balcony smoking my pipe.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:49, archived)
Fucking hell

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:50, archived)
PIPE PIPE PIPE

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:55, archived)

IPE ONCE x3
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:57, archived)
PPPONCEONCEONCE
Well, I seem to have run out of vanilla tobacco.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:03, archived)
The thing about pipes
They smell nice, but are a useless smoke.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:06, archived)
No idea

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:56, archived)
I guess the next question is - where are you talking to nonces?

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:59, archived)
IRC.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:00, archived)
Clever. Great way to show off your IP address to the fuzz who are no doubt watching :-p

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:01, archived)
My parents house :P
I'm not silly hahah. Wait, I am.
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:04, archived)

C OBOT
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:01, archived)
Top strike through humour tonight.
Go you.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:04, archived)
I NO LOL

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:06, archived)
4chan is shit, stay away.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)
It's not actually 4chan. Related though.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)
deviantArt?

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)
THERE'S THUNDER HERE KARL!
Is that offer of a hug still on?
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)
*hugs*

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:18, archived)
You'll regret that now, I'm absolutely fucking soaked.
The road where I parked my car started to flood so I had to run out an move it. Just seen lightning strike somewhere on a hill. This is awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:22, archived)
Lucky bastard. :(((

(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:23, archived)
The first proper storm down here for ages.
ALways good to sit and watch.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)
9chan?

(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:18, archived)
Dare I go as high as...12chan?

(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:19, archived)
inb4 v& lol

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:20, archived)
LOLOLOL
etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:20, archived)
Partyvan time!

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:21, archived)
Careful, you'll be saying Candlejack before lo-

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:22, archived)
I fucking hate this 4cALL HAIL TO THE HYPNOTOAD

(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:23, archived)
BBBUUURRRRRRRRRR
o_O
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:25, archived)
wat
wat
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:29, archived)
How the fuck did that get on the popular page

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:33, archived)
Popular page, you say?

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:34, archived)
yes...
popular page.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:35, archived)
I just wanted validation.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:37, archived)
This is still scaring the crap out of me.
j.photos.cx/19K9F-151.gif
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:37, archived)
I still love that a bit too much

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:38, archived)
She got a big mouth

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:38, archived)
All the better to eat you with, dear

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:40, archived)
yes...
watt?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:35, archived)
inb404

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:25, archived)
Newfags cant dave force
    Dave
Dave Dave
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:27, archived)
Haha fuck

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:29, archived)
Candlejack is the suckiest me

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:34, archived)
I'm not sure
Can dull Jack re
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:40, archived)
OH SHI-

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:20, archived)

www.b3ta.com/images/naughtykitten.gif
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:22, archived)
maybe you can pretend to be a girl then reveal yourself to be the police in a hilarious twist

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)
Nah.
I prefer to tell them tales of my homeland.
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:18, archived)
Adfer frugaliter fututionem et per decor bonum.

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:11, archived)
'advert for a cheap futon decorated with boners'?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:13, archived)
More or less what I was going for.

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:15, archived)
jokes are supposed to be funny

(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:12, archived)
boy, did you come to the wrong messageboard

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:17, archived)
You said it buddy!

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)
Fucking hell

(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:13, archived)
Don't let them touch you.
They're not like those POSER nonces.
(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:18, archived)
I see people have been twittering on here again.
WITHOUT ME.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 0:07, archived)
This musics is interesting:
www.myspace.com/toyorch
I'd like their album, but I don't want to spend money on it. £6.99 is a lot for something that is just interesting.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:46, archived)
Hire them for your Son's next birthday then capture them with your image grabbing device that holds folk in time and motion unless you hit a big red button that makes them sing and dance.
You know, the usual shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)
There's nothing usual about my shit.
Or something.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)
JMG'S POO LOOKS LIKE ALAN SHEARER

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)
It could probably still play for England.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)
no, but it would do a better job of managing a football team

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:59, archived)
David May won more awards and is therefore the best player ever.
There's probably a scarf with that on.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:01, archived)
heeeeee's got more medals than Shearer
he's got more medals than Shearer
he's got more medals than Sheeeeeeeeearer
his name is David May

disclaimer: these lyrics do not take bumbling spasticity in to account, your mileage may vary
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:04, archived)
What's the album title?

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)
Toygopop.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:48, archived)
Check your gaz in a minute.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)
Ooh...

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)
He's football crazy.
He's football mad.
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)
My music teaches son has a band
They have been nominated for a award on Kerrang! and stuff
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)
Mind they don't steal your MOING!

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)
HOW DO PEOPLE KNOW ITS DAVE?
And i will make sure, lol

I remember my music techer found my youtube profile a few days ago, She told me off for using sweary samples :(
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)
Because you said it earlier!
Why did you get banned, and who else got the stick?
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:53, archived)
I got banned for a week for taking part in the twitter thing on sunday
Thats it.
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)
I only got 12 hours.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)
Thats really out of order

(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)
I didn't have a back up account at the time so I had to do offline things.
I got one now, though.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:03, archived)
Every /talkaholic should have one
Its the internets fasion accessory
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:04, archived)
She made her first post about 20 minutes ago.
I hope it's the only time I'll use it.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:06, archived)
That was you?
ahaha
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:08, archived)
Or as the person who banned me words
'Leading a twat invasion'
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)
HAHAHA.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)
'Invading /board like an idiot'

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)
Oh gutted.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)
I did it too and wasn't banned or stepped
poor dave
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)
ARE YOU SAYING THERE WAS POSSIBLY A B4SH33 BIAS?!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)
THIS MUST BE IMPORTENT
JMG IS SPEAKING IN CAPS, LADIES AND GENTELMEN
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:02, archived)
From earlier on.
When your urername was Dave 2
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:53, archived)
ahh yes

(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:53, archived)
What's the band called?

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)
happy b3taday
x
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:02, archived)
they're no Same Difference

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)
That's a lot to live up to
I fuckin loves Same Difference, me
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)
I got Regina Spektor's new album today
haven't listened to it yet though
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:51, archived)
keep up the good work

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)
She's gone a bit normal.
I don't approve. I preferred it when she was bordering on psychotic. I think I'm seeing her in a couple of weeks. I'll put the psycho right back up her.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)
doggy style

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)
I may like it then
I preferred Begin to Hope to Soviet Kitsch anyway
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)
Cor.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)
she's like the idiot child of baldmonkey and Tanita Tikaram

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)
I say.
Tanita Tikaakram is like a dark Bob Todd
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:06, archived)
I've still got to give Tori Amos's latest album a proper listen

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)
there's still time to throw it in the bin if you come to your senses

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)
FUCK OFF SHE'S LOVELY
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:01, archived)
BUY THE ALBUM = SHAG THE GIRL
this is the basis of her success
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:04, archived)
Hahaha
It's Spider you should moan at - he's seen her LIVE.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:09, archived)
If you really want to listen to a woman whine about being raped for an hour, here's a tip.
Support groups are free.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:01, archived)
And sometimes there is food.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:02, archived)
and women

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:07, archived)
what's the difference?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 23:10, archived)
/talk = twatter.com

(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:38, archived)
Its stopped now
Who are you
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:38, archived)
some old fart
popped along for cheap thrills, and boy did I get thrilled....
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:39, archived)
Wanna have sex?

(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:40, archived)
LEMON PARTY!

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:40, archived)
I saw the best shock site, ever
Its 2girls1cup, but you cant exit the site
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:41, archived)
Haha
I've seen worse than that.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:42, archived)
yeh dood dis 1 tyme i woz lyk on da intinets an i cliked on sumfin dat wnt 2 sumfin.on.nimp.org an it totaly wnt crazzy chukin porn n shit al ova da place an i cdnt shut it dn lol

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:45, archived)
lol wubu2 bbz txt bk xXxXx

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)
BME Pain olympics?
1man1jar?
fingerslam?
hai2u?
1guy2needles
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:45, archived)
The one where the Russian bloke got done in with hammers & shit was rather bad

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:53, archived)
Don't you worry Buttercup.
JMG, B3ta's hero has it all under control.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:39, archived)
Just so happenes to be b3tas first member
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=1
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:41, archived)
HOW did I DO that?!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:42, archived)
Dole something something Mum
I'M TOO HOT TO PUT THE EFFORT IN
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:45, archived)
lol yeh

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:39, archived)
Hahahaha, I like that!
Replacing the 'i' with an 'a'! Ah man, top stuff. Gonna have to keep my eye on you!
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:39, archived)
Oh now I see!
Haha, yeah! That's BBC3 comedy gold, right there!
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:41, archived)
ITV2
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:41, archived)
There's plenty more where that came from
// TODO: witty comment
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:42, archived)
I feel I must inform you and everyone.
Thunderstorm in Cornwall.


Dramatic news.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:46, archived)
for some odd reason
I get this news on twitter, including the news that there is a flood warning in Barry tomorrow
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:51, archived)
Just one of many reasons not to go to Barry.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)
Or perhaps one of the most compelling reasons yet
TO go
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)
it is really rubbish isn't it? i felt when it first started there would be promise, but it let itself down
although people of similar nerdy needs have met, shame they are not funny
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:40, archived)
I just got a spec email from an agent about a .net job
The agent is called Dirk Benedict.

You don't think....
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)
I'm going to reply..
and see if he can "face" a "starbuck"s
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)
I think you've got a problem and only they can help.
If you can find them ...
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)
WOW
WIT
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:40, archived)
I farted once.

(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:40, archived)
Just the once?
You'll end up looking like a barrage balloon if you keep that up.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:42, archived)
Pah. It's barely even reached the heights of usenet over a 14.4kbps modem yet.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:41, archived)
*goes away again*

(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:43, archived)
I can't remember why I came to the internet just now.
Oh no. I've remembered again. Weather forecast.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)
You were drawn to me like a moth to a flame.

(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)
[flitter flutter flitter flutter dry dusty wings all falling to bits]
Now that's what I call cyber, baby.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)
Prestel, baby
motherfuckin Prestel
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:45, archived)
They still had minitel in France until about ten years ago.
The duck-teasing primitives.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:46, archived)
What an excellent name
for our Gallic chums
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)
Alright.. Let's stop the @ thing.
Now we start a book on who ran crying to the mods.
I'm ruling out Wormulus because you've all been terribly nasty to him lately and he messages cr3 anyway.

I'll be running most of my accusations via proxy through a large depot in Aberdeen.
Continue.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:36, archived)
tw@

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:37, archived)
My money is on anyone who's ever called me your clone.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:37, archived)
It's a good job you're not Hubare or we'd really only have skimmed off about 8 users.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:37, archived)
Gonz seemed a bit upset by it all.
He could have sent a very poorly worded gaz to rob.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:38, archived)
Yeah', I definatly didn't fuck off to MSN or anything.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:40, archived)
CALM DOWN.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:42, archived)
nothing to do with me, i'm a grown up

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:38, archived)
Only banter!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:39, archived)
I've never heard such horrible bullying.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:40, archived)
I reckon Rob has an internet barometer in his hallway
He nonchalantly tapped it on the way past and the needle jumped to "shit" so he came and had a look.

Either that, or someone grassed it all up.I'm just glad I didn't take part in such shenanigans.
(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:38, archived)
The dial was probably at "Crikey"!
I'd like to think it's a gauge that slowly fills with fat people's tears the more SERIOUS the internet gets.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:40, archived)
I like the barometer idea!

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:41, archived)
@@
He's getting there, spending a lot of time with his bird at the mo.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:34, archived)
Apparently I'm a "shit JMG clone"

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:36, archived)
Don't take him seriously
he's a bit delusional at the moment, all the drugs etc...
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 22:39, archived)

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