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# Quite what this means I'll never know...
(Ploot, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:37, archived)
# bigger
I still see the board
(I helped save b3ta! sinisterduck, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:37, archived)
# Where?
(Ploot, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:40, archived)
#
Here
(Prof_Frink has remembered his username, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:42, archived)
# Your username
is making me want a pint
(jacko_here just here has some ducks, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 12:07, archived)
# I don't know either
but it made me snigger :)
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:39, archived)
# woo
to huge pictures.
think of the dial ups..

Oh, you are.
**blows raspberry at dialup users**
(I helped save b3ta! Dangermouse., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:41, archived)
# Its only 28k
I should think it will kill them. The animation down there *points* is bigger.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:42, archived)
# true
**pffft** to me then.....
(I helped save b3ta! Dangermouse., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:43, archived)
# Resized to stop the tears.
(Ploot, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:44, archived)
# Doesn't bother me
as long as the file size is okay, which it was.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:46, archived)
# so kind
woo to the smaller pic
(I helped save b3ta! Dangermouse., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:47, archived)
# hmm.
i'm just abseiling down to the shops.
anyone want anything?
(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:41, archived)
# large
tin od penguin flavored hummus thanks
(I helped save b3ta! Dangermouse., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:42, archived)
# no problem. you'll have them
just as soon as i find my jet powered super socks to get back.
(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:45, archived)
# I believe
you can get them down the shops as well.
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:47, archived)
# yay!
VOOOOOOOOMMM!
(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:51, archived)
# beef space raiders
28 packets please.

Thanking you.

Oh and is War of the Worlds on DVD worth £15, I haven't seen it, but read the book over Christmas. I understand there are no tripods, which might not make it quite as good. Also they should do a remake, with tripods. That would be nice.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:44, archived)
# no tripods
no horsell common
No chertsey railway station
Bloody yanks win it all.
No Justin heywood soundtrack.
Probably not worth £1.50
(I helped save b3ta! Dangermouse., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:46, archived)
# Balls to that then
I'll just get the CD soundtrack then. *whistles a scary tune*
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:48, archived)
# Re-reading it at the moment.....
OOO-LAAAA etc....

BTW: doesn't the "Film" end similarly to the book? Mankind are inneffectual and useless, and the bugs win the day after all?

BTW: any1 remember the shit TV series from the US based on WOTW? All the martians were in full NBC gear (nuke, Bact, Chem) to avoid catching colds and to cheapen the Sfx budget.....
(Mr Joe Bangles, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:58, archived)
# i "bought" the soundtrack
last week and its fucknig good jus make sure you get he jeff wayne version
(BigBobbyh, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 12:26, archived)
# But
it wouldn't allow direct linking...
(Prof_Frink has remembered his username, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:47, archived)
# if you want tripods
get the 80s tv show 'tripods' instead, s'great, and scared me fuckin witless as a kid.
(I helped save b3ta! baby wet ones, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:47, archived)
# here you go
(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:48, archived)
# Thanks
Where is the death ray?
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:49, archived)
# behind you
(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:50, archived)
# arrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
/hides in cellar till November.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:52, archived)
# it's still behind you.
there is no escape
(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:54, archived)
# I can't hear you
I'm in the cellar. Under the coal pile. With a religious man. Just like old times when I was a choir boy.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:55, archived)
# Was'nt there a song about Autumn or something on the soundtrack?
*scratches head and looks blank*
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:56, archived)
# According to the track listing at CD wow
There is one called forever autumn.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 12:03, archived)
# I'm impressed
Tripod images normally don't work.
(I helped save b3ta! Hoagie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 12:13, archived)
# Yes please
If you don't mind
(I helped save b3ta! Shoosh up your lips Not state-funded, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:47, archived)
# Derek and his reflection
Part The first one

(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:29, archived)
# Haha!
That's great
(I helped save b3ta! Canker, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:29, archived)
# ha ha ha ha!
woo to you!
(beneneuman, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:30, archived)
# Top reflectioning.
Have a reflective repoast...
(I helped save b3ta! harribo, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:31, archived)
# very
good
(I helped save b3ta! corington, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:32, archived)
# woo!
thats great :)
(m1k3k, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:33, archived)
# love it
so very woo!
(I helped save b3ta! MorpheusRiot Guambats or Guammibears?, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:33, archived)
# ouh lovely
more
(I helped save b3ta! sinisterduck, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:35, archived)
# Aww,
that am cute.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:36, archived)
# arf!
marxbrotherstastic
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:37, archived)
# WOO
like that!
(garfi3ld, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:44, archived)
# That really is top
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:45, archived)
# hehehe
silly kitty goodness
(I helped save b3ta! amon - hooray :D, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:54, archived)
# Flies like a bird!
(beneneuman, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:27, archived)
# How
mostly woo
(I helped save b3ta! Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 12:26, archived)
# GC?
A guide to insulting Germans in German.

Da kann man viel lernen!

If it's GC, I'll delete it in a minute.
(I helped save b3ta! xandmi, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:15, archived)
# Something like
you can learn alot there? My German is a bit rusty...
(I helped save b3ta! oodle doodle, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:20, archived)
# yep
and newgrounds has gone so down in quality, it is not even funny anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! sinisterduck, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:21, archived)
# I havnt been on it in ages
But I do like the pixellated nes RPG vids they had.
(I helped save b3ta! oodle doodle, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:23, archived)
# there's still good stuff on there
but the amount of shit seems to be increasing at an exponential rate*



*or something
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:26, archived)
# I find
Goose-stepping with one arm raised in a nazi salute and one finger forming a short moustace usually does the trick.
(I helped save b3ta! 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:21, archived)
# "don't mention the war!"
You'd never be as good as John Cleese doing it.
(I helped save b3ta! sinisterduck, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:22, archived)
# I don't think anyone would.
.
(I helped save b3ta! 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:24, archived)
[challenge entry] Did I miss-hear this weeks competition?
(I helped save b3ta! Ironic Mullet, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:11, archived)
# Make him stop!
I'm having flashbacks...
(I helped save b3ta! oodle doodle, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:11, archived)
# Aargh!!
Woo!

TJ Isn't this unusually patronising, even for the Guardian? (not shopped)

(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:13, archived)
# does it have a section
on which arm to put in your trousers first?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:16, archived)
# Hahaha
amazing! Got a link to that? I need a few pointers...
(I helped save b3ta! oodle doodle, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:16, archived)
# Here you go
www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,3605,1128715,00.html
Can I just point out that I was trying to find out if you could freeze Scotch eggs and NOT browsing the Guardian website?
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:19, archived)
# Well
that's alright then. The link was pretty dull anyway...
(I helped save b3ta! oodle doodle, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:22, archived)
# And
it contained no information on the freezability of Scotch eggs. Tut!
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:23, archived)
# And it calls itself a newspaper
This wouldnt have happened under a Tory government*














*may be false.
(I helped save b3ta! oodle doodle, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:24, archived)
# scotch eggs
You can't really freeze them. the scotch bit freezes OK but boiled eggs don't freeze well. I could start boring you witless about albumin structures but ...suffice to say eggs turn to rubber...
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:27, archived)
# At least that's an answer!
Thank you. I shan't freeze them, I shall just make hubby eat them all in one go.
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:29, archived)
# Well,
can you?
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:22, archived)
# They didn't say.
Honestly, these are the issues that matter, for crying out loud.
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:24, archived)
# Never mind,
b3ta still has all the fun facts you need.

"Nearly 300 human deaths a year result from leaving newborn children,
unattended by the horse's pen." - Texty lass down there
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:25, archived)
# you can't freeze boiled eggs
(the whites go icky)
So I would imagine you can't freeze scotch eggs either. Unless you just intend to use them as projectile weapons.
/factorama
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:32, archived)
# Thank you, sah.
That's 2 nos and 1 yes, so I'll not freeze them. Thank you for sorting out my culinary problems.
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:34, archived)
# My friend says
you CAN freeze them. He's frozen them before, they're fine after defrosting and can be reheated to taste.
(I helped save b3ta! oodle doodle, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:28, archived)
# Ooh!
Who to believe? You or Mighty Badger?
*confused*
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:30, archived)
# I'm with badger
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:35, archived)
# so am I
But then I am badger. but badgers never lie ;)
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:56, archived)
# Yeah?
But to taste of what?

mmm...Pig-sicles!
(Mr Joe Bangles, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 12:04, archived)
# Dull
Apparently, stuff on catwalks is not designed for the practical woman. Tsk. Now they have the vote, they really are struggling for things to moan about.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:20, archived)
# I know.
You'd think they were forced at gunpoint to buy designer gear. Long live Matalan, I say.
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:22, archived)
# is that todays?
i need that, i look like i'm in kriss kross
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:17, archived)
# I need some advice about that...
*fiddles with corset*
(I helped save b3ta! mog, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:17, archived)
# quick and crap
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:03, archived)
# arf!
(I helped save b3ta! mog, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:04, archived)
# Tread carefully
Mr Elephant.
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:05, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:07, archived)
# That bloody amazing!
My hat is now firmly in the 'off' position.
(I helped save b3ta! oodle doodle, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:10, archived)
# Hurts
my eyes.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:24, archived)
# wow and wooo
thats great
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:10, archived)
# Woo!
How do you make that look 3D? It's really cool :)
(I helped save b3ta! watashi-wa Evenin'!, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:11, archived)
#
1. do a search for stereographs
2. animate in imageready
(I helped save b3ta! bumblebee.. I am not a number! I am a free snail!, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:18, archived)
# ooooo
stereogasmic
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:11, archived)
# ah
the nimble mountain elephant!
(I helped save b3ta! rogan, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:08, archived)
# so that's how hannibal did it
w/y
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:08, archived)
# Eggcellent!
Woo!
(jacko_here just here has some ducks, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:08, archived)
# re:numptys
the worst ones have to be the "super dads" been everywhere know everything and insist on dragging kids who would rather be at altontowers up mountains where they sit aroound bored stupid and rapidly becoming hypothermic in their pacamacs
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:14, archived)
# Yeah!
Other funny ones are some of the Army groups you come across. Woefully overequipt yet with nothing of use between them...
(jacko_here just here has some ducks, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:16, archived)
# coast to coast walkers do it for me
met a dutch lass last year, 4ft 6 she was and carrying a 65kg pack totally knackered after 1st section, took her to post office where she sent all her crap back home
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:23, archived)
# ah y'see down in the brecon beacons where i be from
you just get the sas and the gurkhas, they kinda know what they're doing with their stuff, and hide far too well, many's the time i've nearly run em over on me bike!
(I helped save b3ta! baby wet ones, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:23, archived)
# There were a few
of them roaming about in the snow the other weekend.

Their green cammo didn't hide them very well!
(jacko_here just here has some ducks, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:25, archived)
# guuu-huh!
i wouldn't mock a gurkha tho. oh lordy no, they'll take your spleen and sell for medical experiments before you've even realized it's missing!
(I helped save b3ta! baby wet ones, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:27, archived)
# we used to go up to camoed troops in belfast
and bump into them claiming we couldn't see them, they never saw the funny side
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:29, archived)
# that reminds me of proposed legislation
limiting the length of dog leads to 2 mtrs.....will this apply to elephants?
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:08, archived)
# The legislation is useless around here.
No one knows how to keep their dog on a lead...mutter...

lo, btw
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:12, archived)
# hi Mumsy
at least it might get rid of those extending leads which dogs use to entangle unsuspecting walkers
how's yer fettle lass?
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:15, archived)
# Grand, thankee
I'm in the process of making Scotch eggs for Dog.
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:17, archived)
# hmm scotch eggs................here's my tip
instead of sausage meat use haggis, it's reet bloody tasty tha knows
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:20, archived)
# Coo!
That sounds rather good. I'll try it next time I've got some leftover haggis. As one does.
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:25, archived)
# also haggis pakoras
seriously good
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:26, archived)
# Can we ban those little shivering palm-top non-dogs
while we're at it?
We could feed them to proper dogs for a treat.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:19, archived)
# rats on strings
whiny little bastards
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:21, archived)
# Numptyness
following from below...

Out on the hills, you really can see Darwinian selection in action very often. I think most people who actually know what they're doing have a list of numpty tales of death as long as their arm.
(jacko_here just here has some ducks, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:14, archived)
# witnessed one couple of years ago near Scafell
guy goes into shop at Wasdale and buys himself a load of climbing gear(not cheap) sets of on his own to climb lord's rake, first time he's tryed climbing, promptly falls of and kills himself, 2 hrs after helicopter takes corpse away the crag is crawling with folks nicking his gear, well spose it's no use to him
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:18, archived)
# Falling off Lord's Rake
is an achievement in itself.

How's the perched obelisk doing at the moment? I haven't heard any news of it recently.
(jacko_here just here has some ducks, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:21, archived)
# my employers are having lots of meetings about it
some enterprizing chap suggested dynamiting it....oh and my mistake it was broad stand the guy fell off....
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:25, archived)
# I let that one go :-)
They're not exactly far apart.
(jacko_here just here has some ducks, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:28, archived)
# problem with spending every day in the hills is
that they all blend into one eventually, I reckon I've even become immune to scenery
edit// were you ice climbing on moss force at newlands last week?
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:30, archived)
# He used it on an actual hill???
I thought most of that stuff was just used to "hike" from the car park to the tea shop in ambleside?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:21, archived)
# there's some bloody treachorous kerbstones in ambleside
!
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:26, archived)
# My walking gear is as follows.
Hat, big coat, thick socks, sturdy boots, 2 litres of water in a backpack insert and the rest of the backpack full of Mars bars.

works a treat.... :)
(Mr Joe Bangles, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:37, archived)
# Shouldn't that then be...
Stumble-side?
(Mr Joe Bangles, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:37, archived)
# Best & Butler
(eyes, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:03, archived)
# Hehe!
Excellent furtive eye action on Best.
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:09, archived)
# Awwww. She looks so happy....
(I helped save b3ta! theWooinator, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:02, archived)
# gaaaah it's reddexed
oh the humanity...
(I helped save b3ta! spikedirection no frills, no skills., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:03, archived)
# looks fine to me...
Ahhh its that woman...
redex it quick!!
Woo very nice
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:05, archived)
# eye wood
!
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:07, archived)
# Des Line-em
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:02, archived)
# Hoorah...
for line-snorting punditry.

Where did you get the picture of Frank Bough on which to shop Des Lynam?
(I helped save b3ta! PastorSauce : easy on the anchovies..., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:04, archived)
# Hahaha
Snort it you bastard!!
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:10, archived)
# hahaha
You just know he loves it the most
(I helped save b3ta! @man move along, nothing to see here on, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:21, archived)
# A nifty Happy Poster placement
which also happens to be a handy bit of stock footage for anyone wishing to 'shop a store:



A full report of the mission to Godalming has been blogged.

And now, gentlemen, to evil....

I know of a flash development job floating around. I'd need solid quotes on the making of a game (from photographic assets provided by client) with gameplay similar to Spyhunter or Asteroids. Anyone innerested should email me. Today, if possible - manic AT bloggerheads DOT com
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:01, archived)
# Yay!
I am pleased to report that the chippy at the top of my road now has a lovely picture of Nohands in the window.
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:22, archived)
# *Clap* *clap* *clap*
Keep it up, there's still alot of the world that needs cheering up.
(I helped save b3ta! harribo, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:28, archived)
# Ooookay then ...
just put a poster up over my desk ... there was one in the machine room already ...
(Zed Smith, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:38, archived)
# Death to text
Here be the gallery
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# Hurrah!
(I helped save b3ta! mog, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:01, archived)
# Yay!
You have taste!
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:03, archived)
# Nice!
What is that gallery music called that you've spazzed? (not that I don't like it). I'm thinking of replacing it with the benny hill mash in my profile.
(I helped save b3ta! harribo, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:05, archived)
# er somebody somewhere did it sometime.
Hands up if you're lurking.
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:08, archived)
# No, one seems to know, but I found this:
www.concreteelephant.com/Silly/Break.htm
(I helped save b3ta! harribo, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:18, archived)
# quite. I used that for weeks then grew tired of it.
It's still around though
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:22, archived)
# A reply for Topic I Love Horses
HORSE ENTHUSIASTS
I have noticed in my recent driving experiences a slew of,
annoying horse-related bumper stickers on the cars around me.
"Happiness is Riding a Horse", "We're Horse People",
or my least favorite of all, "Ask me about my Horse! (Have you got all day?)".
And as I was viewing all these stupid little slogans
, it occurred to me: I don't like horses.
It's not even so much a problem I have with the animals themselves,
as it is with "horse people" who adore them so much.
I hate those fuckers. With a passion.
You know the type, those obnoxious rich assholes,
who talk about their horse as if it's a real person.
Who have stupid nonsensical racing names for their horse
(whether it races or not) like "Happy Bucky Glitterstar" ,
or "Tapioca Pudding and Lots of Blood".
Their entire lives revolve around some smelly fucking beast of an animal.
And they try to gloat and brag about their beautiful little horse,
as if anybody else could give half a shit about it.
Oftentimes these horse enthusiasts are spoiled young rich girls,
who are still in high school and are so "elite" that they don't have any real friends,
save the horse they have enslaved into a life of manual labor and circus show amusements.
And they always, ALWAYS,
have pictures and posters of unicorns plastered all over their bedroom.
Oh, they adore those magnificent unicorns.
Well, let me tell you something about your precious,
sweet, pure-as-fallen-snow unicorns: they have a WEAPON OF DEATH on the top,
of their fucking heads! If unicorns existed,
what do you THINK they would use the horn for? To stand around and look pretty??
No, they would use the horn to STAB their enemies into oblivion. It would be cool,
if unicorns WERE real though, as I'm sure fights between them would be a truly bloody affair.
My roommate told me about some horse riding class he took in college,
and how all the horses were angry beasts who tried to ,
kick and bite anyone who came within ten feet of them.
He also told me that they were walking shit factories,
and leave a brown trail behind just about everywhere they go.
It is for this reason that horses aren't very good at hiding.
Horses also apparently have halitosis that can kill,
if one is exposed to it long enough.
These stories my roommate told me got me interested in doing some further research on my own,
to learn more about these hideous, awful beasts, and I uncovered some interesting information.
So to avoid keeping you in suspense any longer, here are some TRUE HORSE FACTS:

Horses taste great. In fact, odds are you've had horse meat and don't even know it.
In about 24% of all instances in which you order beef,
you are likely to actually get horse instead!
Horses are extremely unintelligent animals,
scoring just under cows and right above salmon on standardized animal intelligence tests.
Horses will bathe in water if you let them,
but they always prefer to immerse themselves in raw sewage,
to make the stench of their bad breath seem less noticeable.
Horses are wildly horny beasts,
and if you should ever find yourself walking by one with no pants on,
be warned: they WILL fuck you.
Horses are insatiable carnivores,
and their favorite food in the entire world happens to be human babies.
Nearly 300 human deaths a year result from leaving newborn children,
unattended by the horse's pen.
Horses are all evil MINIONS OF SATAN.
Want proof? Every horse has a birthmark,
in the form of either a "666" or "grinning Devil giving the thumb's up",
somewhere on their body.
Usually you have to shave the horse bald to uncover this infernal blemish.
Horses, in league with Lex Luthor,
plotted and conspired to paralyze Superman from the neck down.
It is for these reasons that I have come to despise horses and their owners.
Truly these unwholesome beasts must be eradicated immediately,
for the safety of everyone who might encounter them.
So please, if you know anyone who has a horse,
or if you see any horses, confiscate them and take them to the glue factory right away.
You'll be doing everyone a tremendous favor.

antihorse girl

[email protected]



(antihorse girl, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:56, archived)
# ok
thanks
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:57, archived)
# ARRRRRRGH!
MY EYES!!!!

FUCKING JESUS CUNTING CHRIST!

EDIT: I'm hungry. I may have a pasty...
(I helped save b3ta! mog, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:57, archived)
# pffft
(I helped save b3ta! Kris Fucking Kristofferson, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:58, archived)
# horse meat goes well in
pasties
(I helped save b3ta! mostly harmless John Leslie raped me on, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# mmm...
horseflesh...
(I helped save b3ta! mog, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:02, archived)
# time bandits?
(the elusive other midget and ex group leader)
(I helped save b3ta! Ulic hissing slightly, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:04, archived)
# too short
and I want blinking text in it
(I helped save b3ta! sinisterduck, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:57, archived)
# Marquee would work well
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:58, archived)
# Too Many Words
Shall file under "No"
(I helped save b3ta! Kris Fucking Kristofferson, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:57, archived)
# Uh oh!
*ducks to avoid onslaught*
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:57, archived)
# fascinating
;)
(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:58, archived)
# oh my god
my head hurts
(professor honky straight fonky, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:58, archived)
# can I bum you?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:58, archived)
# join the que
(I helped save b3ta! mostly harmless John Leslie raped me on, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# "Now serving 48"
(I helped save b3ta! harribo, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:01, archived)
# pffft
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:04, archived)
# I've got number 69
*smug face*
(I helped save b3ta! mostly harmless John Leslie raped me on, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:06, archived)
# best reply





by far.

don't tense up, it's the most natural thing in the world. - Big Ron, 1987
(I helped save b3ta! Ulic hissing slightly, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:01, archived)
# brace yerself
i'm coming in dry.....
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:02, archived)
#

iam amanda 23
100% antihorse
i like chat meet new friends
share idea's
and more.
have fun and take care all.

Hate Horses 4 Life
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:58, archived)
# Probably one of the oddest profiles.
(WouldSwapABearForATiger, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# bonus points
for use of txt spk?
(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:02, archived)
#
iam amanda 23
100% antihorse
i like chat meet new friends
share idea's
and more.
have fun and take care all.

Good sucky sucky. Cheap. Good girl me.
With friend double.
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:01, archived)
# What a slut!
"Me love you longtime!"
(I helped save b3ta! harribo, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:02, archived)
# I like horse cock
This place gets fucking wierder by the minute. I love it. I shall resign from work immediatly and fuck about on here all day. Will anyone pay me to do this and just write down a summary hour by hour?

I don't like horses
(I helped save b3ta! DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:03, archived)
# The BBC, nuts and zoo (mags) and possibly Elton John.
(I helped save b3ta! harribo, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:07, archived)
# i wont pay you
but if you find your struggling just fucking about, and need a hand
give us a shout.
(I helped save b3ta! mostly harmless John Leslie raped me on, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:08, archived)
# $5 soldier boy.
Love you long time!
(Gype, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:03, archived)
# aahhrgghh
<? $i=0;while($i<100){echo "THE APOSTROPHE ";$i++;}>
(I helped save b3ta! sinisterduck, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:07, archived)
# That's not a reply
That's a fucking essay.
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:58, archived)
# And your point?*
*could not be arsed reading to find if there was a point.
(Gype, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:59, archived)
# i am unfortunately able to scan read this type of shite
and no.
there was no point.
none.
(I helped save b3ta! Ulic hissing slightly, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:02, archived)
# Cheers,
saves me reading it. Not that I was planning to, but at least I'm not missing some life altering revelation.
(Gype, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:05, archived)
# i don't like horses
I got bit by one once
(I helped save b3ta! DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:59, archived)
# one spat at me
once

git
(I helped save b3ta! comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:59, archived)
# fucking thing took a
right big chunk out of the small of my back
(I helped save b3ta! DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:01, archived)
# i love you
marry me
(pikey, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:59, archived)
# I
fucking hate horses too

Now cock off!
(I helped save b3ta! Cosmo Smallpiece Nickers Nackers Knockers, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# i hope a horse eats you up for his tea
that would learn ya
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# I hope you like
www.spam-uk.com/fritters.html

(I helped save b3ta! The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# the rumours are true...
"i hate horses!
Evil f*cking sooper cunts......."
(I helped save b3ta! spikedirection no frills, no skills., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# someone once said,
'the horse is the most noble of all creatures'
but my dog broke its leg and i didn't have to shoot it. Dogs 1 Horses 0
(poop_chute, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:01, archived)
# Did you get it a cart?
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:16, archived)
# Top poem!
(Indole Ring, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:12, archived)
# HA HA HA!
"Nearly 300 human deaths a year result from leaving newborn children,
unattended by the horse's pen."

Source? And surely that is more the fault of stupid parents than horses.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:15, archived)
# ......
toooo many words!!
(I helped save b3ta! TheBrain plotting world domination since 1977, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:19, archived)
# On behalf of the entire b3ta collective
May I wank in your hat?
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:42, archived)
# That's a lot of spunk
(I helped save b3ta! gingerbenji wrote a book http://goo.gl/8UiGjd, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:53, archived)
# A mate....
Once got stood on by a police horse so, as he was used to dealing with horses, punched it in the face to get it to step off his foot. The Rozzer on the back then tried to do him for "assaulting a police officer" (apparently horses count as officers of the law) so he said, "Ok, as long as I can do it and you, as you should have been controlling it better, for assault on me and police brutality."

(Mr Joe Bangles, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:45, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:55, archived)
# wonderwoman
has really let herself go hasn't she?
(pikey, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:56, archived)
# WYH
happy birthday to you...
happy birthday to you...
(Tabilda Been away a LONG time *grovels*, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:56, archived)
# Good for you, I've got 110 posts to go before I hit my first 1k.
(I helped save b3ta! harribo, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# 109 now
(I helped save b3ta! harribo, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# Crikey now it's 108
(I helped save b3ta! harribo, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# It's just gone down to 107
(I helped save b3ta! harribo, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:01, archived)
# my first animorph-bit crap really
Sidney wondered about the funny looks he got...
(I helped save b3ta! spikedirection no frills, no skills., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:54, archived)
# i loiks it
mine was monkey based too
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:56, archived)
# Tea break quickie
Quick and dirty on Paint
I'm fat now
Let's hope this is the beginning of the end.
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:51, archived)
# Ha Ha
tis funny 'cause it's true.
(Gype, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:53, archived)
# ...and in further news
hmmmm. looks all fancy.


softclaws.com/gallery/

/wrong but sfw
(shiftClick, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:54, archived)
# ........pfft !
"Soft Claws are easy to apply. Simply fill the nail cap with the adhesive provided and slide it on over your cat's claw."

Yeah Right ! if I tried that on my moggy he'd claw my arm off on seconds (he's a rock'ard psycho bastard )

www.b3ta.com/questions/petnames/post5961/
(I helped save b3ta! The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:16, archived)
# hahahaha
you know what i like ; )
(I helped save b3ta! the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:53, archived)
# anyone know if they
have officially split yet.

if so, when do start the celebrations
(I helped save b3ta! mostly harmless John Leslie raped me on, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:56, archived)
# No official split
but if the Spice Girls/Take That thing is anything to go by then it won't be long now music lovers!
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:59, archived)
# All true
but unfortunately there will be a million other even worse bands waiting to take their place.. the pop industry is like a hydra or something.

My solution: get all pop idol/fame academy/big brother/the salon contestants in a room and gas them. It's kinder in the long run
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:17, archived)
# Nope
Only Brian is leaving I think they plan to carry on.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# Stupid kid
on GMTV this morning said they could not carry on without him, as he is the funny one!

Don't know if she meant funny "ha ha", or funny "weird".
(Gype, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:02, archived)
# Hopefully Blue
will follow suit, with that narrow faced twaty one leaving.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:03, archived)
# Maybe she meant
"The one with the massive heed"

But hey, the fuckers made 5 million quid each, so I'm just jealous really.
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:03, archived)
# so brian is thinking
of doing a robbie and leave while they are still popular, and forge a massive
solo career when the others have all come out of the closet and are actors or song writers

not a bad ploy. pity it wont work
(I helped save b3ta! mostly harmless John Leslie raped me on, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:03, archived)
# Ha
Ace.

Hoepfully VS will follow suit, chav singers for chavs.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:55, archived)
# bunch of twats
nice to look at in small doses though...
(Tabilda Been away a LONG time *grovels*, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:55, archived)
# He Was Always Rejected By The Rest Of The Herd...
(Bushboy, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:49, archived)
# Surely he's an 'asset'*
as he'd stop any predators creeping up on the rest of the herd.
* - Pun no noticed until after I'd written it.
(I helped save b3ta! Hagbard ... it's been a long time., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:54, archived)
# Arrff
nice - didnt see on eof them on my recent trip to Africa...
(Tabilda Been away a LONG time *grovels*, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:54, archived)
# Lions and Tigers?
Hang on, that's Kenya.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:56, archived)
# 'Bears' she said, Never I said,


'Bears I tell you' she said, 'One after t'other' she said, Well I never I said
(I helped save b3ta! The Snockerty Friddle, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:43, archived)
# wooo!
but rather fast
slower!
(8-Ball, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:46, archived)
# Naa
Grannies on speed.

You should see them at the Bingo.
(I helped save b3ta! 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:48, archived)
# i've just had a horrible image
of grannies gang raping the drummer from the Banana Splits Show.



poor bingo
(I helped save b3ta! Ulic hissing slightly, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:52, archived)
# Horrible?
That's a great image. I will savour it.
(I helped save b3ta! 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:54, archived)
# then i shall shop it
and turn glimpses of dreams into reality via the wonder of crap photoshopping
(I helped save b3ta! Ulic hissing slightly, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:56, archived)
# ..
*pulls down pants*
*gets some tissues ready*
(I helped save b3ta! 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 11:00, archived)
# Tea monitor, monitor tea ...
bastard :)
(I helped save b3ta! Hagbard ... it's been a long time., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:54, archived)
# Oooooh reallly?
Well I dont belive it I tell you, I dont believe it at all!
(Woo Elephant Yeah, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:46, archived)
# ha ha ha
(coronation street has been rubbish since they lost the hairnets)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:48, archived)
# ooooh!
Bears?! one after the other? I'm never heard the likes, I keep mine locked up, them germans had the right idea but I wouldn't trust them with my bears
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:49, archived)
# i love that
reminds me of me granny
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:50, archived)
# fantastic stuff. Ena says Hi!
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:57, archived)
# I love Ena
Scariest of all the coro battleaxes.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:59, archived)
# scafell with
a bit of william blake shopped in to appease pedants ;)

bigger

edit: I should add, badly, quickly shopped
(I helped save b3ta! Ambiguous, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:42, archived)
# scafell pike has to be my least favourite place
have to go up there a lot to work
have a bleaberry tarn
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:43, archived)
# Are we playing
"Name that Scenery" today?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:44, archived)
# whats your job?
(I helped save b3ta! Ambiguous, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:45, archived)
# basically I stick the sides back on mountains
after the hoards of walkers have worn them away
website in profile should reveal more and possibly give a giggle or two
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:50, archived)
# BTW ... I asked around about GPS hardware
and the garmin stuff got the general thumbs up
and www.pocketgps.co.uk/menu_reviews.php was mentioned for detail
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:53, archived)
# cheers matey
I'll check that out
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:56, archived)
# blimey
why doesn't my job involve scaling pikes?

/officebound

(edit: rather have a blueberry tart)

(editedit: rather have a kings cross tart)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:47, archived)
# it is good
innit.. I use my spare days on photography and gradually starting to make pennies from it :)
(I helped save b3ta! Ambiguous, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:51, archived)
# big advantage of my job is
getting to isolated places and always having a camera with me, work even bought me one!!
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:55, archived)
# That looks like Snowdonia.
.
(I helped save b3ta! 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Tue 9 Mar 2004, 10:52, archived)

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