5000 DULL POSTS!
Today I went and stared at a Roomba. I can't afford a Roomba because Roombas are for people with money. I would like one because I am not responsible enough to own a real pet myself. I have fat hands and would probably break my pet when I went to stroke it by dropping it out of a window.

What's the sexiest thing in your life at the moment?
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

just get a cat, how could you possibly fuck up cat ownership?

( well, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

My last cat developed a taste for brains
I have that effect on animals. Plus cats are hardly ever made of robot parts.
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:38, archived)

my cat has got a microchip in it

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:46, archived)

Awesome
How far away from home can it travel before its head explodes?
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:48, archived)

it can't travel anywhere, i nailed it's back paws to the floor

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:49, archived)

yank up the floorboards and take it on a skiing trip

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 May 2009, 19:09, archived)

My new monitor/tv
it's got a nice red gradient on the fascia
( magnum, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:39, archived)

Fascianating!

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:50, archived)

bingo

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:40, archived)

The fact that Zattoo worked first time tonight.

( WHARRGARBL, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

my grey bobbly bra and huge stained slightly damp pants

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:48, archived)

I'm covered in stains too!
If I were a king I'd be Henry the Filth
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:49, archived)

I bet youve got a fanny like a week old big mac

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 30 May 2009, 19:00, archived)

im not having sex with you

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 30 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

:(

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 30 May 2009, 19:24, archived)

My really sexy pullparrot corkscrew.
www.auxplaisirsdebacchus.com/images/products/259.jpg
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:52, archived)

bingo?

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:54, archived)

I'm out tonight but I would have loved to have been part of these great forum banter unoffensive times.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 30 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

The prospect of beer and curry
then probably more beer then probably making pixels appear on here.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 30 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

Yay!
That is a sexy combination. So sexy I think I'll get going now for some beer and curry of my own. Ta ta!
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 30 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

I have a Roomba for all of these reasons.
It's some kind of ace.
( Taylorcamb, Sat 30 May 2009, 19:18, archived)

my Roomba.
part vacuum cleaner, part pet.
( Batsgirl, Sat 30 May 2009, 19:24, archived)

It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!

*sings*
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 30 May 2009, 18:04, archived)

When does Mongy's bingo start?

( magnum, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:05, archived)

When you've killed yourself.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 30 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

But then I'd miss it.

( magnum, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:07, archived)

Exactly.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 30 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

You mean the whole reasoning for this game is a bid by Mongy to get me to top myself?
I'm not even sure there is going to be a game, I'm in a catch 22.
( magnum, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

all the twos twenty-two
*crosses off*
( vladimir, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

around 8, but you have no ticket
they are still available via gaz
( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

I won't be about then I'm afraid
Just out of interest would this thread get a number?
( magnum, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

yes it would, it is both dull and pointless

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

I can see your game being over in about 10 minutes
In fact, if a certain 2 or 3 posters are about they'll probably compete to get numbers in their new threads.
( magnum, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

still relies on me posting the numbers and none of the needy seem to be taking part
i hope nobody gets too upset, online
( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:25, archived)

Best of luck, Gamesmaster.

( magnum, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:27, archived)

bit of fun aint it, no offence

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

and how are these numbers chosen?

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

i have used a random number generator for the full 90 numbers

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:24, archived)

there best be no fiddle or owt.
straight up and that
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:26, archived)

nope no fiddle, i have a copy of everycard randomly created sent to each player, and the numbers will just be posted
i of course or employees or their families of mongychops bingo are not allowed to play
( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

just like every single post on b3ta then.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 30 May 2009, 18:27, archived)

i hate b3ta so much

( well, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

but you'll love www.b3ta.com/bingo
cool prizes, great forum
( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

what sort of prizes?

( well, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

SPECIAL prizes

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

what's so special about them?

( well, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

i have ethier owned them or bought them, or something, great stuff

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:41, archived)

now now, don't get upset, it's only going to be a game, i won't single you out

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

Kenya nchi nzuri, Kenya is a beautiful country,
Hakuna Matata. There is no problem.

Nchi ya maajabu A wonderful country
Hakuna Matata. There is no problem.

Nchi yenye amani, A peaceful country,
Hakuna Matata. There is no problem.

Hakuna Matata, There is no problem,
Hakuna Matata. There is no problem.

Watu wote, Everybody,
Hakuna Matata, There is no problem,
Wakaribishwa, Are welcome,
Hakuna Matata. There is no problem.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

*parp*

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:11, archived)

I just went to look out a window
I knocked my face against the window and my glasses fell off. As I went to catch them to stop them falling from the second floor, instead I smashed my hand down on them instead like a fat handed twat causing them to break irrepairably. That's what I get for still being sober by 6pm on a saturday.

Lucky I went for the 2 for 1 offer I 'spose. Well no, thats not luck, thats sense.
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:14, archived)

My glasses cost £170
if I smash them I can't afford new ones.

Luckily I'm not that blind
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 30 May 2009, 18:15, archived)

£100 for a pair
and they were the nicer ones. Oh well, never miiiiind.
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

FUCK A KNIFE

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

RIGHT UP THE MINGE

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:46, archived)

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:47, archived)

GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:50, archived)

but where shall i insert it?

( Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot, Sat 30 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

BLIMEY the Football!
Very important and all that.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 17:29, archived)

Meh.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:30, archived)

OH IRELAND!
As an Ireland and therefore potatoes.
How do you cope with the ups and downs of a long hard season?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 17:31, archived)

A long hard season of what?
I'd prefed a long hard session. I haven't been to a session in aaaaaaaages.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:37, archived)

The football.
A long hard season of football.

..and you want to be careful with comments like that.
The sweaty palmed will be gazzing you with photos of more attractive people.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 17:39, archived)

Pfft, I don't get those anymore since Damion left.
I think I scared them all off.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:41, archived)

Meh.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 30 May 2009, 17:34, archived)

Copycat.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:37, archived)

IT'S WHAT I FELT!
DON'T FECKIN HAVE A GO AT ME YER FECKER SO YOU ARE!
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 30 May 2009, 17:38, archived)

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH
How's yourself? Has your stone sorted itself out yet?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:42, archived)

Better ta.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 30 May 2009, 17:52, archived)

I too would like to see the cup going about a bit outside the top four.
It was nice to see Pompey win it last season, and I'm sure you are too Captain.
But they beat Cardiff at Wembley, and as much as I respect noted Cardiff fan, SSG. I'd like to have seen the underdog beat the major force in a final.
Like Wimbledon over Liverpool.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 17:38, archived)

Seriously, I have no idea what you are on about JMG.
I never watch football, I never look at the results, and I do'nt like football. Now rugby. There's a game!
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 30 May 2009, 17:40, archived)

A game for egg-chasers.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:42, archived)

I noticed the BARBARIANS are HAMMERING THE ENGLAND.
Which reminds me that I should call Neil and ask how this will effect us in the Rugby League five Nations.
I love a bit of Rugby banter.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 17:43, archived)

I'm getting excited about le football
OM might just win la ligue.
St Etienne might go down.
Zut alors.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

Foot

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

Ball

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:45, archived)

is making animations hard and is there free software for it?
i'm keen to make a music video but i dunno if it's a total mission or not.
( tickle I was away, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

It's like photoshop - hard(ish) to learn properly, but once you do, it's a piece of piss
I think photoshop and GIMP do it.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

cheers.
i'll investigate.
( tickle I was away, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

what are you, 12?
to ask questions like this.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

sorry.
bit caned. just thought b3ta is the place where i would get good tips from sound people about silly animations. first way of finding out that occured to me.
( tickle I was away, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

best bit of advice I can give is learn how to use flash
for animations as the animation part of photoshop can be a right pain in the arse.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

ah.
bugger. i'm kind of more focused on the music side of things. might have a bash still. cheers.
( tickle I was away, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

Nah it's well easy
It usually only takes Disney about 12 minutes to knock up a feature film; the rest of the time is spent waiting for Elton John to stop dicking around and write a song for it.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

Ha ha!

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 30 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

It's easy peasy, I do it all the time.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

This one is free and easy too.
www.myspacegens.com/handler.php?gen=animatedimage


Oh look b3ta, CHB being helpful!
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 30 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

blimey, you really must be on some strong meds.

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

I was expecting equines or goatse.
/ac
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

cheers
thats wicked. something i've been thinking about for ages is gifs.
( tickle I was away, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

I'm obsessed with jpegs

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

the pair of you are mad, .bmp is the wonder of life

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

Yes

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

Blender is a free 3d software tool that I think can do animations

( magnum, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:39, archived)

draw funny faces on your tits and bounce up and down in front of a webcam

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

that's your answer to everything
bingo?
( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

I'm busy PC building
and I'll be honest, it sounds like a shit idea but hey, knock yourself out, good times, forum banter etc etc etc
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

i hope it causes no upsets, or not, great

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

Try synfig
synfig.org/Main_Page
( CanonCaliber A big bore, Sat 30 May 2009, 17:57, archived)

I'm sitting on the steps of the British Museum in the sunshine.
Where are you cunts on this frankly WONDERFUL day?
( moohalaa, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

Sitting out in the sunshine, in the garden
simply enjoying the day.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

rubbing after sun into my slightly tanned skin

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

Drying off, cos it's raining outside
I had to go on the BUS to buy a new trolley jack, with the peasants.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

inside on the internet.
Although I was outside most of today.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 30 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

Party later
but I really want to go pub now :(
no one will go with me though, my friends are all boring cunts.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

On my bed, drowning out Greenday with NIN.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

are greenday playing closeby to you then?

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

In the sitting room.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

ahhh they are being played by cunts

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

Yes.
God they're monotonous.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

you need a nice fix of bingo, tonight from 8 ish
gaz me for a ticket, great forum
( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

A bit miserable, my friend died today
But debating whether or not to go to the bash.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

Go to it, i hear Wicca is going to beat up Becky

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

is online drama going to cause offline violence, sadtimes
poor show forum users
( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

We need to ensure all the girls get their fair share of attention or they start beating each other up

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

Why?
Wicca hates my guts, but never threatened to beat me up!
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

She's not really.
She said she'd say the same to Becky as she did online, which is causing some online drama.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

Oh
Only slightly less interesting, though.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

go to the bash
if anything at least now your friends problems are over, and they would want you not to stop living.

and you can no doubt get some free drinks out of it.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

Haha, this.
Probably good for you to get out of the house, Sammi.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

Yeah, you're right
Sod it, I'll come, probably alone, nobody will come with me. I might be coming later though.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

BLIMEY THE FOOTBALL!
Eh?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

oh gosh

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

Golly!

( SuperMatt, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

blimey!

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

JMG!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

STD!

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

I KNOW JMG.
I wasn't expecting a good game. Happily surprised.
( Malchick, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

OHH DROGBA!
Is there no flailing and falling over technique you can't pull off?!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

It's been a fucking boring game.
There was a good goal after 20 seconds and nothing since then.

yes I know there's been another goal since, but it was shit.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 30 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Serena Williams can't even walk properly as she's such a fugly shemale.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 30 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Blimey, work got in the way so I missed the first half.
I just saw the goals though. Blimey.
( nick the greek, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

Everton will be disappointed with the equaliser.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

i've been carpet bombed wet through
bingo
( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

shit the bed
I really couldnt care less about the football today.
( Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Sat 30 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

This is much more relevant.
Sarah Jessica Parker circa Hocus Pocus is hella hot.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Get out.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I love that film.
She is shit, though.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

Her with the nose?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 30 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

I thought she was just a nose

( __, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

her face looks like a foot

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

My hand smells like a foot.

( Malchick, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

It doesn't really. It smells of barbecue.

( Malchick, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

I love her.
I cannot wait to finish my exams and start watching SATC from the beginning.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 30 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

Tuesday isn't far away. :) Well doen for sticking with it.

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Tuesday is my first exam :(
Some people are lucky.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 30 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

Like me.
I don't have any.

Ever.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

I thought that when I was about your age.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 30 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Thursday for me
Don't finish till the 23rd
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

GCSEs don't count.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 30 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Thanks chicky.
That feeling on Tuesday will be so so good.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 30 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

Girl.

( Malchick, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

Good luck with your exams sweetie!

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

I've done all but one!
225 out of 240 credits are now beyond my control!

Good luck to you too my love. x
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 30 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

Hella hot dewd.
Only you could make a statement about the attractiveness of the opposite sex sound homosexual.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

No she's not.
Minus 10 man points.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 30 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

She hasn't got right bad tits.

( Malchick, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

The sun never goes down
PR Stunt for the Empire Brown sending a plane flown 47 years ago is sure to frighten the little Kim in Korea.
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

HAHA YEAH COS GORDON BROWN IS A DICTATOR ALSO HE'S SOOO STUUPID

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

Honestly, I don't know what you're trying to accomplish here.

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

oh gosh
the football
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

Yes. Absolutely.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

Sorry, what? Why shouldn't one of the largest superpowers in the world help a smaller nation?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

Because if there's anything that the Bush administration taught us, it's that taking potshots at unpopular leaders takes little wit and littler literacy.

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

It is awesome that we're superpowers.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Yes, yes, we get you're trying to look clever.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

Well that post was a real victory for wit and articulacy.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

No one will go the pub with me :(
what's wrong with your lives?
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

I don't have a job.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

get a shit one.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

I'm trying.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

Try harder

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

No, fuck off.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

:( meanie.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

EXAMS

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

This

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

I really need to start revising for mine.
and find out when they are.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

they all hate you probably

my life is alright thanks
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

you think your upset, me and E cannot be in that there London town for teh bash today
:(

/mega strops.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

I've got too much money, my penis is too big and I'm getting too much sex.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

hello piston

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

I am sad. Very sad and very very anxious.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

*massive squeezes*

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

oooh be careful! My head might pop!

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

Okay.
Have some owls instead
www.cuterush.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/2owls.jpg
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

OWLS! LOVELY OWLS! \o/

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

Do you like our owl?
aquabahn.com/atlantis/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/blade-runner-owl.jpg
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

EVIL OWL!

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

I had a poo like that once

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

It's a bright, sunny day
I live near the coast.
I have quite a lot of spare cash in my bank account.

And I'm sitting at my desk at work.
( magnum, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

This constant demand to expand then deflate my lungs
over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

I solved that by filling my lungs with tripe

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

Yeah, but I'm saving that for tomorrow's lunch

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

you can have a friend squeeze your chest
so the lungtripe comes back up into your mouth to savour and swallow

like an internal tube of meat paste
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

I don't have any friends
can you fabricate a giant pair of fingers for me that you squeeze together using a an old ships navigation wheel, reminiscent of a novelty nut cracker?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

Waiting for universities to contact me.
Not doing work i should have done weeks ago because i don't have a clue what i'm doing.

Friends nowhere to be seen and my birthday just around the corner.

Take your pick.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 30 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

The touchpad on my laptop is fucked - whenever I left-"click", the machine freezes up.
And sometimes the keyboard spazzes out and inserts lots of gibberish into whatever I'm typing in a manner keyed to cause maximum annoyance.

But aside from these minor irritations, my life is awesome.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

that's cause you're awesome.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

did I mention I have a new computer?
I have a new computer
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

IHIDS.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

I sort of bought another widescreen monitro while I was at it
I now have a total of 40 inches
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

Tempt them with the beer garden.
I saw a spider, now I think everything is a spider.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 30 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

*lightens the mood*
*does a happy dinosaur dance*

What animal would you most like to dance for you and what kind of dance would it be?

I would like to see an elephant seal belly dancing.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

Hmmm, I would like to see a giraffe doing the tango.
They would probably break their legs, though.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

Would they be wearing any sort of special outfit?

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

Oh yes, full tuxedo and tails.
None of this argentinian open shirted nonsense.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

The lady giraffe should wear horribly thick orange make-up
all the professional dancers to it, it makes me want to shave their faces.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

Ugh, I hate make up on men:(
I wish I'd taken dancing lessons when I was little, then I might have been like my grandad.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

Hanging around little girls' dance classes?

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

Haha, no. All Ireland Ballroom Dance Champion 1933.
I'd have to go back in time, though.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

AMAZING

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

Shoegaze Panda

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

Tarantula Charleston

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

Moonwalking Millipede

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

WOOF WOOF I HAVE A NEW COMPUTER WOOOOOOO

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
is it lovely and fast?
( MrA, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

HURRAY
What is it?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

it's my old computer with a new Core Duo, new motherboard, new memory
I just had to ACTIVATE WINDOWS again
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

zoidberg doing the sorry dance

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

Freedom Freedom Freedom hoy!

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

Monkey Monkey.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

OCTOPUS CAN CAN

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

you can make any animal dance
if you shoot enough bullets at its feet.

admittedly this would not work for very small creatures, but then what the hell..
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

what is enough bullets for a dog?
what if you shot a bullet at each leg simultaneously (with a partner)?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

Foxtrot Corgi
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

YES

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

Hahaha
Awww
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

I like owls at the moment.
mad about owls at the moment.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

Hi /talk how are you?
I've just found out a friend has just had his life support turned off this morning. He was supposed to be having an operation to repair Tetralogy of Fallot (a heart condition), at 29, and he just didn't make it. Gutted.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:14, archived)

*internet hug*

( SuperMatt, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

Thanks

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

*more internet hugs*

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

PHOTOS
or it didn't happen.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:19, archived)

Gutted
He will miss the BGT final
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

Yeah, he'll probably be gutted about that
.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

This is what life is all about, is it?

( SuperMatt, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

Very much so
If I die before knowing how the doctor regenerates, I will be VERY disappointed.
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

I'm concerned about the new series because we're going to get a new doctor and a new assitant at the same time
it's like starting all over again. How are we going to relate to these characters?
Oh fuck it doesn't matter, the new girl is hot and that's all I care about.
( SuperMatt, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

She is certainly easy on the eye
www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7cGkUwTQhE
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

Hahahahaha

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

Her voice is weird though

( SuperMatt, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

You mean... Scottish?

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

I'm not sure what it is.

( SuperMatt, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

It's weird, when her voice goes up in pitch she sounds American
but then when it drops back down to her normal octave then she sounds Scottish again.
( SuperMatt, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

Well as far as I know she is from Edinburgh..
So that could be a clue.
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

it's got a mockney twinge though
scotney, i shall call it
( spacefish bong!, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

How so?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

Oh dear.
Sympathies and hugs.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 30 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

that reminds me, i need to buy some vegetables

( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

Just boil your broccoli knob
/Garth Marenghi
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

I keep reading that is Tetralogy of Failot.
too much time on the internet :(
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 30 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

Well right now
That's the best misreading.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:32, archived)

Sounds like a wizard

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

I saw
Tetralogy of Fallout.

Too much time in the games.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

that's a shitter
*hugs*
( CowJam, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

:( That's a horrible condition. I didn't realise it was one of the causes of blue baby syndrome.
In other news, I just ate 3/4 of the sticker on an apple without realising.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

Apparently British Bulldogs are prone to it.
There's a surprise.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

that might be why they banned it at school

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

A few of our teachers wouldn't let us play that at school because it had British in the name.
They let us play it eventually, when we changed the name to Irish Rover. Which made no sense, really.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

well, paddy pooch sounds a bit gay

( spacefish bong!, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Haha.
Irish Wolfhound, maybe. No dog breed starts with I. No good ones, anyway.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

Iguanadog

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Irish Iguanadog
You have to see who can lie around on a rock in the sun the longest.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

eh?
That's bonkers. A tad xenophobic, even.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

These were the old diehard ones from the Gaeltacht, they resented even speaking English.
All the best teachers come from Kerry.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

they shouldn't be eating apples anyway

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 30 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

It's true, they shouldn't.
Our dog steals them off the tree, he must think it's a tree of balls.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

what's worse than finding a sticker on your apple? etc.

( spacefish bong!, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

why do they even put stickers on fruit?
I went to get a green pepper from Sainsbury's a while back and they all had stickers on. The stickers said "Pepper". FFS.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

it's so they can hire respected shelf stackers

( spacefish bong!, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

I know, completely unnecessary.
This was from the market, aswell. I've stopped buying fruit and veg from supermarkets as it is invariably shit and overpriced and with loads of packaging.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

bird's eye chillies are the worst,
I wanted to make chilli oil and I had to buy about 5 or 6 packets of them, and it cost about four quid. The next time I discovered the Chinese grocers, and filled a bag for about 40p.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

I know!
My dad was diagnosed with diabetes type II last year, and is obsessed with chillies now, as they are supposed to help lower blood pressure. They had to buy millions and they used to go off, so they grow them now, my old bedroom is full of chilli plants:(
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

My grandma has been diagnosed with cancer
next Monday I'm taking her in to hospital. I'm taking her because it's the hospital that I used to volunteer at. I do not find any part of this situation pleasing.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

:( Oh no:(
What kind of cancer does she have?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

In the womb, and somewhere else.
everyone says it's very operable. but she's very old and weak.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Shite:(
At least they can do an ovariohysterectomy, that is operable. The surgery will be the problem though.

*huggles*

How is your gym-going going? I did 45 minutes on wii fit today, yay.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

I was in for an hour this morning
an hour on thursday and two hours on monday. sort of feeling better.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

Well done:)

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

And I'm eating well.
But I was sick on wednesday night. The weight is simply falling off me. *sigh*
I want a wii fit! Damnit! and a girl bash. in a park. with dresses and tea. Really. NOW.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

Oooh, that would be awesome.
We should totally do that. Wii fit is BRILLIANT.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

:(
sorry to hear that. i hope he is remembered well
( spacefish bong!, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

Yeah, but on the plus side
he's dead
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

This is almost as bad as your miscarriage.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

Dude.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

Sorry, FICTIONAL miscarriage.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

Good man.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

Fictional miscarriage of INTERNET JUSTICE

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

Pffffft

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

great!
I'm going to hell twice. Once for laughing at your post and once for laughing a dave trouser post.
( jenpots, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

poor sod, not a old age to die :(
thing is, tetralogy of fallot sounds like something out of a rpg.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

oh shit mate sorry :(
*keyboard cat insert to cheer up*
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

ME!
BLIMEY the football!
Who'd like to discuss the BIG GAME?
Or complain so all the girls can see you being metrosexual.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

Hi Jammers
There will be talk of b4sh3s later no doubt
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

Oh no.
How can we quell this?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

At a guess, bingo.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

There's no stopping the internet
It's like a rolling stone gathering moss
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

That's most probably back hair.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

I thought you were going?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

I am
Just jesting
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

There's not much we can do.
Some tit was on here advertising it yesterday, and mentioned WiFi being available.

Great.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

Oh great. Today will be loltastic.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

LOL I AM IN A PUB ON MY iPHONE!1!!!!!!11
I AM POTING THIS BECAUSE I AM TOO INSECURE TO SOCIALISE PROPERLY.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

They'll gaz each other.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

Worse...
They'll update each other and the Internet on TWITTER, every 3 minutes, whilst sat in a corner of the venue, not speaking.
Then they'll take some photos and post them here for another 7 days.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

It beats me why they have human rights, as they're basically retarded animals.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

Woodside, you are no longer any good at hiding your true nature, you terribly bitter man.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

I certainly am BITTER.
And 12. And a virgin. And short. And mental.

Hey, if the internet says it enough times, it'll become true! Just like in Peter Pan.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

Hurrah! :-D

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

It's unlikely.
Last year there was no interwebbing, just booze.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

You're wrong.
www.b3ta.com/board/9481246
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

Oh for the love of Christ.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

Do you have a link?
I'd like to read that.
( WHARRGARBL, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

I don't, but it was Riverghost.
Easy to find as he hardly posts here.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

Oh god.
"There's food and internet"

:(
( WHARRGARBL, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

Last year was awesome, and there was no time for internet.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

Why did he need to mention the internet?
For the love of JMG, why?
( WHARRGARBL, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

Because some people might want to check their emails on Sunday
they have wi-fi because it's a backpacker hotel. People staying there might want something to do before the bash starts and tomorrow morning.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

I know why there's internet there.
But why mention it? Why not focus on the socialising?
( WHARRGARBL, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

B3tans can't do it.
And they get angry when people mention things they can't do.

Then they accuse you of being a troll and call you a virgin. Repeatedly.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

Because he's ALL MAN.
With an IQ of 164 (when he last checked).
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

I hear that he's not little.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

OVER 9000

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

You horrible fascist.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 30 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

*Head in hands*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

I'm tempted to dress up like a tit for the bash this afternoon
but part of me is saying no.
Which part of my brain should I listen to?
( SuperMatt, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

The part saying "don't go"

( WHARRGARBL, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

See, even our deluded Emo thinks it's a bad idea.
That must mean it's REALLY bad.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

Nah, I'm going to go
As long as I don't drink, it'll be a nice cheap thing to do this weekend.
( SuperMatt, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

Speak for yourself
I've just spent the last hour doing my hair.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

I'd like to see Badger go as Dave the Hat.
With a gun.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

He's saving lives today, so I am taking Mrs HB.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

What a man!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

I am [-] this far away from getting on a train and fucking revision.
Hmmmmm.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 30 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

+roughly

( ArthurTheRat, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

I've got Sex Panther.
www.sex-panther.com/index.html
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

Haha, what does it smell like IRL?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

Like desire m'lady.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

Haha. I might have to watch that now.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

It's made me instantly 150% more awesome.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

Is knowing nothing about football enugh to qualify as metrosexual nowadays?
Surely there should be some Vogue devotion too.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

I think Moohalaa was a metrosexual before he finally went all the way bent.
Poor Moohalaa.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

As I've stated before, it's going to go all the way at 0 - 0.
Everton to possibly sneak it on penalties.
( WHARRGARBL, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

I think I'll switch to 2-0 Chelsea.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

I'm going to watch it on the beach with some beers!
Everton v Chelsea doesn't really tickle my fancy though. Sounds like a bit of a dullfest.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

Probably..
Neither are all out attackers.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Right, this wedding I am going to this afternoon.
The bride and groom have asked for cash instead of gifts, although they have asked for it part of me still feels uncomfortable giving cash as it's such an impersonal gift. So my question to you b3ta is.. Should I just give them the cash that could probably do with OR do I go along take lots of nice pictures reportage style (they have paid the photographer just to take the basic photos of everyone standing in certain places) play about with the piccies make some black and white ones of people straightening dresses and messing with hair and make them an album as a gift that they will have to keep forever?

If you can't be arsed reading all that who do you want to win the Britain's Got Talent final?
( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

everton
money sounds a bit cold.. take the photos
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 30 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

Give them cash
it might be impersonal but if that's what they've asked for then that's what they probably need.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

but how much?

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 30 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

I was going to give them £50 if I decide to go with Cash.

( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Sounds about right to me
The photos are a lovely idea but I know so many married couples that just need to mend up the finances after a wedding
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

This
weddings aren't cheap.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

I'm off to a wedding do this evening
I got them a giftcard. As I'm shit at buying stuff and am as creative as dead horse.

I would do the impersonal gift thing, as I would fear whatever I would have made would be a piece of shit.
( MrA, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

Give them the gift.
You're the giver - it's your choice, not theirs.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 30 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

Susan Boyle.
not because I give a fuck, but because I've got a £25 no-lose bet on her and I like free money.
(Naughty Tortoise, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

Give them a kettle with a quid in it
Nice surprise, like.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

In pennies.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

/read as squid

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Sat 30 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

You want to give them some dicked-about pictures of gurning relatives
when they desperately need to pay off the crippling debt they've accrued hosting the entire affair and funding their life together. How fucking selfish of you. Cough up.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Hello there, the internet.
I have just recieved a rather massive PC which a relative no longer needs.
What you be installing on such a beast?

EDIT: Don't fucking bother. I've got to restart the fella.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

Windows ME.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

They've a yuppie flu version?
That would explain why it stops working all the time.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

Eh?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic_fatigue_syndrome
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

Ah right.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

Yeah.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

Porngrunter v6.0

( broadsword, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

I've got that installed on the insides of my eyelids.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

Your grammar.

( __, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

YG

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

Friz is fucking awesome

( __, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

Theme Hospital.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 30 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

I couldn't possibly comment.
I'm a Mac y'know.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 30 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

Why is this on the popular page?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

Why is your post on the popular page?

( MrA, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

Oh for fuck's sake.
/ac
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

DOS 6.2 and Terminator: Future Shock

( CowJam, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

DOS 2.1
King's Quest and Wordstar
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 30 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

CP/M and Zork: The Great Underground Empire.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

I'd probably gut it for useable parts and throw the rest away.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

Hello fellow unemployed wrongbot.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

You're unemployed now?
Marvellous. You can run off with JMG and be dole together.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Hurray!
Noit was dole for two and a half hours yesterday. He is no longer dole now.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

I've never been dole, and likely never will.
*fans self with wad of cash* You see Esme, I am a winner.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

I'm not actually dole, just don't have a job.
Hurray sick pay.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

So you're not unemployed at all?
YOU LIAR.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

Oh hai.
How's the motherland?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

Big and fat I'd reckon.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

:(

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

How does that upset you?
It's not like I called you Esme "Thunder Thighs" Weatherwax, is it?
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

You are SO mean.
Terrible bullying.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

It the heat, honest.
It's totally 25C right now. BBQ later, so it can only get hotter. Lucky for you, I won't be online then.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 30 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

Hello!
I am celebrating this gorgeous weather by sitting a timed paper on Commercial Law & Practice. I am hesitant to start it :S

What are you doing today?

(yes I am updating what I am currently looking over)
edit: mmm, Incoterms: International Contract Terms for Shipping goods
( Frisbee OG wanker, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

Your mum
then your dad
then your mum again
( broadsword, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

At the moment, mainly feeling ill
I think I need to go outside but if I do I need to go to the shops and I don't really want to as I know they will be busy.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Get better
You are not allowed to be ill on a sunny weekend, you're supposed to be ill during the week!

mmm, Sale of Goods and exclusion of liability
( Frisbee OG wanker, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

Going to a wedding!

( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

Going to watch a Pixies Tribute Band
ED IS DEAD FTW
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

Should you really have internet access if you're doing an exam?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

Haha
I meant timed practice paper.
I'm sure I'd be entered into the annals of time as 'the one who spent his exam spouting crap on b3ta'

Oh god why am I still on here?!
( Frisbee OG wanker, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

Revising. But I want to go to the Vegan Fayre and play in the sun.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 30 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

What time are you getting to London?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 30 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

I'm not going. :(
My last exam is on Tuesday and I need to work on it this weekend.

Have fun petal.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 30 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

Bah. Bah and HUMBUGS.
(well done with the willpower though chuck)
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 30 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

Not so well done. My flatmate has my debit card hidden somewhere in his room so I can't procrastinate by making internet purchases
or whizzing off for a weekend. I have not got a very good work ethic.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 30 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

sunning my legs and tits in my old dears garden with beers and a book.
thanks for asking.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

I keep reading that as 'with bears and a book'.
It's an entertaining mental image.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 30 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

Mmmm...beers, bears, books and tits.
A good combination imo :D
( Frisbee OG wanker, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

stag do
clay pigeon shooting
( parttimedogfish, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

picnic!

( spacefish bong!, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

oh yeah
and a maths tutorial during the middle of the day. whose idea was that then?
( spacefish bong!, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

Suffering from mild concussion from a holiday makers surfboard.
Stupid bastard.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 30 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

GUTTED

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

You make me so angry.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 30 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

chill, it's bingo tonight
i might even wear a bingo top
( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

you should wear some bingo wings too
( vladimir, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

Covered in sequins?

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 30 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

maybe, i shan't even put a bra on, eyes down look in, great times

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

with bingo wings?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 30 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

yer chill out
go have a fucking lemon tea or summat
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

Jog on, love.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 30 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

or some sort of beer with a bit of fizzy lemon in
good idea that
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Oo-er
Saturday morning romances are always the most passionate.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Sat 30 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

Too right.
I'll stuff it right in her eye if she aint careful.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 30 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

What I am having for lunch.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

Eggs.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

Fo0oOo0ooOoo00oooOod?

( broadsword, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:14, archived)

A big bowl of shut up and fuck off.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:14, archived)

Carvery.
You fucking love that.
( thealternativefact, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

Chinese carvery
( vladimir, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

Yes, if he pisses the Triads off.

( thealternativefact, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

pie
you fat cunt
( parttimedogfish, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:19, archived)

Lunch?
I've not even had breakfast yet.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:19, archived)

are you excited about your bingo ticket? do you think your numbers are the lucky ones? good luck

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:19, archived)

I am dissappointed at the lack of effort.
:(
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:23, archived)

next time i'll make proper ones, planning is not a strong trait of mine
still, great prizes
( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

Great idea, poorly executed.
No offence.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

a bowl of frosties with ice cold milk

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:22, archived)

Hello.
How are you?
( Bats, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

looking forward to dull thread bingo
this thread would be perfect for a number
( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

Two fat ladies, 88!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

are you not playing tonight?

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

I thought i might pop in with some abuse now and then

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

tsk, then you won't win prizes

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

Two fat ladies, 88!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

I mean, thats all thats likely to be drawn

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

none of the female b3tan have applied to play, it seems bingo is not there cup of tea

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

You are getting people to apply to play bingo?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

yes i am, you have to gaz to get your playing ticket for tonight

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

anyway up is 69, you bingo fool

( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

Right im off to spend disposable income
Laters dooood.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

i made nommy biscuits.

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 30 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

Good
I'm thinking of going for a wander to the beach.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

I'm alright.
Eating a pear, finishing my randomburns and looking after BabyDedd while Springy is out.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

knakered
and leaving uni's first year in about 5 mins.
( Jinxy13 is hating the S key, right about now., Sat 30 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

I'm going to ABERDEEN shopping.
I've warned the fast food outlets in advance though.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:08, archived)

Wondering if I can make it as far as the shops without soiling myself

( broadsword, Sat 30 May 2009, 10:09, archived)