I like eggs.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

even eggs are intelligent enough to realise you're a cunt

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:40, archived)

Wife at spa. Child whinging. Fuck everything.
Who wants child. Wank wank wank.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:42, archived)

BAD PARENT

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:44, archived)

put on ben 10

( jenpots, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:50, archived)

Fuck that.
Emperor's New School on Disney.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:56, archived)

I don't have bloody Sky
So it's Ben 10.
( jenpots, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

Fuck you, tellyfail.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

Can I have your address so I can inform social services that you've been left alone in charge of a child?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

i think we should all settle down and look forward to the bingo
tonight at 8 ish
( mongychops, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

Near the top.
I just had the best shit i've had in months.

God, i feel like Todd, talking about poo like this.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 30 May 2009, 9:13, archived)

You're nowhere near the top, you sad twat.
You're also nowhere near as good as Todd.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

Nearer to the top.
I'm so far away from todd, i'm negative awesome.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 30 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

You sicken me

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 30 May 2009, 8:42, archived)

well that confused me.
When I left /talk last night, you had just posted that.

Good Morning x
( jenpots, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

Morning.
Would.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

oh you!
*blushes*
( jenpots, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

I've just mixed a load of this in with the cat litter.
www.keepitsweet.co.uk/catalog/product_info.php/cPath/55/products_id/382?gclid=CO_k6snK45oCFY9_3godFkARAQ
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

Oh, you horrible man.
You do realise this might stop them using the tray, and then they will piss in the house.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

They'd only do that once.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

I'm going to confiscate your kittens.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:12, archived)

ConfisCAT more like.
The whole kitten thing has proved me right. They are cunts and I hate them.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:13, archived)

:(((((
You're horrible. I'm definitely taking them now.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

PS: Downloaded Being Human
And yes, it is ace!
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:12, archived)

Hello!
Yes, it is:) I finally watched the last one the other day, it's very good:) I nearly cried though, I've been watching too many series finales lately. The end of House S05 nearly finished me.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:13, archived)

Lucky you
I can never seem to find the time for Series unless I load them onto the iPod
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

I haven't been in work lately, so I've had loads of time.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

We have an Orang Utan Sanctuary here
That was advertising for a Nurse last week
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

Awww, that would be so cool.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

Unfortunately
It was for Indonesian Nationals because apparently the animals do not understand any other language (No Shit)
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

Oh balders you card.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

WIN!

( jenpots, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

I might've just posted some filthy innuendo on your Facebook.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

Me too.
Especially scrambled or in an egg foo yung from my local chinky.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

Nooo don't talk about food
*stuffs*
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 30 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

Wot, no new posts since 4 this morning?
Bloody nora.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:05, archived)

Everyone's dead, dude

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:06, archived)

What, everybody?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:07, archived)

Everyone, including you
especially you.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:09, archived)

Good.
I'm a massive cunt.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:10, archived)

Thats true,nothing but a hairy clam with legs is you

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:11, archived)

Cor!

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:23, archived)

noooooooooo etc

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:07, archived)

*evil cackle*

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:10, archived)

you are cruel in the mornings!
must be something they put in the water round those neck of the woods.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:12, archived)

Only when I can't sleep
That's when I become a monster.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:15, archived)

HOT DAMN I AM SEXY TODAY

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:17, archived)

Are you wearing that bra again?

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:20, archived)

hello sexy
I'm off to the glorious city of Manchester to buy new computer bits today. There will be much cursing and swearing as I attempt to make it all work later.
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:23, archived)

Use blue tak, that'll work

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:25, archived)

LIES!
everyone know you need Gloy Gum and double-sided Sellotape
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:28, archived)

Sticky-back plastic

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:29, archived)

coloured tissue paper and Copydex

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:54, archived)

Anything interesting?
I was contemplating a spin to our Computer mall as well but have no idea what I want. I'll probably settle for a bagfull of dodgy DVD's
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:41, archived)

motherboard and some DDR2 memory
although everything's so dirt cheap now I'll probably end up with a new CPU and hard disk as well
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:51, archived)

I was thinking of a new motherboaard for a shitty piece of crap I have sitting here
Intel® Core Quad-Core (8MB L2 Cache,2.4GHz,1066FSB)

But after that I would probably splash out and buy this lot as well

Single Drive: 16x DVD-ROM Drive + 16x DVD+/-RW

4GB Dual Channel DDR2 SDRAM at 800MHz - 4 DIMMs

200GB - 7200RPM, SATA 3.0Gb/s, 16MB Cache

Radeon ATI HD 2600 XT 256MB

Integrated 7.1 Channel Audio (No Idea which one would be best)

USB Ports - 6

Wireless Network Card
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:54, archived)

I knackered the motherboard in my main PC by accidentally blasting it with static electricity while the case was open
I'm posting this from a Pentium3 433 overclocked to 600MHz

it runs like a stunned slug full of qualudes and mogadon
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 7:59, archived)

I thought Mogadon
Was Mike Oldfield's second album
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:01, archived)

To avoid static
I keep the mains plug attached with the powerpoint switched off
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:01, archived)

makes no difference when a big blue spark jumps from your hand to the CMOS chip

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:07, archived)

There is always that
Do you not wear one of them wrist band grounding devices?
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:08, archived)

it was a last-ditch effort to rescue an old PC so I didn't bother
the memory sockets have worked loose so it was freezing all the time when the memory sticks took a knock or heated up

took me back to the days of ZX81 RAMPack wobble it did
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:12, archived)

Ha ha ha ha
Cassette deck flounce..

I hated Spectrums but they were all there was. (That and lemmings)
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sat 30 May 2009, 8:14, archived)

'ello fello night owls/other hemisphericals
I saw a cute little bike today, but I've forgotten its name and I never bothered to find out what type it was.

If you took a standard BMX bike and removed the seat; modified the frame to what the cross bar and the rear stay was a straight line/single bar; removed the wheels and replaced with smaller diameter wheels with tyres that are much wider (as in leaving a 3 inch wide track instead of 1-2 inch wide track); and, finally, added a bash plate/guard under the bottom bracket, you have some kind of scooter like thing which you pedal all of the time etc. (and which would make a great little personal transport device that you could keep in a car all of the time and just hoof it out whenever you wanted.

Trouble, I've no idea what this type of bicycle is caused and I can't google any more about them.

Any ideas?
( custard, Sat 30 May 2009, 3:34, archived)

Brompton?
Although I'm not sure I understand as I didn't really read your post properly.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 3:39, archived)

no worries
how's you anyways? are you in your final year of your undergrad degree now or are you in postgrad or work land?

(reasonable chance of me making it to chb bash this year)
( custard, Sat 30 May 2009, 3:44, archived)

Finals
My degree finishes next Thursday then hopefully an MA in Gothic Cathedrals.
*fingers crossed*

How are you my good man?
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 3:48, archived)

I'm OK at the moment
but I'm having to deal with the possibility that I'm stuck with my illness (cyclothymia that doesn't respond to medication) for life instead of assuming/hoping that it will "get better"... which is a bummer because it means that I can't hold down a full-time job = having to find some means of self-employment.

I have loads of ideas about the self-employment thing, but I always saw those as means of adding to my income from a full time job instead of my main or only source of income.

However, I'm having a good time at the moment with all of my hobbies and the nephew/nieces and the good weather and stuff. The high stage of the cyclothymia is like running on uberfuel (very busy and creative etc.), which is why I've been gettin by with 3-4 hours sleep for the last week or so and probably won't go to bed this morning (will go for a bike ride at 6am and take some photos of the sun waking the harbour up).

What causes your unorthodox sleep pattern?

Gothic Cathedrals are great; would you be focusing on the architecture/aesthetics and artworks/artefacts or looking at all of the iconography/built-in-symbolism etc. (in a social history kind or way) or a bit of everything?

apologies for length (of the post)
( custard, Sat 30 May 2009, 3:58, archived)

Aw you poor sweetie.
Still though, at least it seems to have some positive effects as well as the rubbishness.

For me it's exams and stress and stuff, I stayed up late revising a couple of times and now my sleep pattern is fucked.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:04, archived)

The positives are good (I have several ideas for books and even a couple of animated screenplays)
but the negatives are a pain. I exercise a lot when I'm (walking; cycling; sea kayaking etc.), but all that good work on the 'ole body just atrophies during the lows.
( custard, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:06, archived)

I have BPD so I understand a little bit having the lows and highs.
It can be an amazing part of your life and then the next moment be almost dibilitating (sp?)
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:13, archived)

Borderline Personality Disorder?
I probably have what is known as a Cyclothymic Personality Disorder, but I'm not going to tell people that until I've been properly assessed.

All that happened so far is that I've been given some of the medications used to treat Cyclothymia, but they haven't made any difference.

To me anyway, all that means is that I don't have a biological illness and nothing more. Proving a negative can't be used to proof a positive (i.e. that I definitely have CPD). That would make about sense as the statement, "you have four legs; two eyes; two ears, and don't eat meat. I've proved that you are an elephant; therfore, you are a giraffe".

I need to pester the psych. and ask him PDs of the less well known kind are diagnosed.

What did your undergrad degree focus on; what is mostly art history (love that, did some pre-honours courses at uni) or is there a practical element? I'm not that familiar with the Courtauld Institute (one of my older brother went to the RCA).
( custard, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:28, archived)

Yeah, it's a barrel of laffs.
But I don't have to have meds, apparently it's very tricky with PD people, some need meds, for others, as with me, it's worse than useless.

The Courtauld is awesome www.courtauld.ac.uk it's entirely academic though, no practical art but I do love it in a funny sort of way. What did you do in your art history courses?
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:38, archived)

They were quite general, providing an overview of everything from cave paintings to comtemporary stuff
= a grounding for anyone wishing to switch their honours subjects (Scottish unis allow to you make some drastic changes subject wise if you want to; I applied to do English Lit., but I could have ended up with a degree in Art History or Economics or Modern Languages).

It's hard to describe what I like. As with music, I'm a huge fan of anything from the last 100 years and not so keen on the big players like the Renaissance lot (I prefer the earlier Renaissance/pre-Renaissance guys over heavyweights like Raphael etc.; nice technique, but Mossacio is more expressive).

I have a love/hate thing with contemporay art. I can appreciate the aesthetic value of anything (and the finish on professional contemporary art pieces is often extremely good), but I don't like the politics and the patronage and the confusion between subjectivity and objectivity etc. (if someone doesn't like X, then I'm the kind of person that is more interested in finding out why their opinion differs from mine instead of berating them for being ignorant and/or philistines because they don't like this so-called great artwork.)

Could go on forever etc.
( custard, Sat 30 May 2009, 5:00, archived)

BOOMSHANKA

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 30 May 2009, 3:43, archived)

SHANKASHANKASHANKAURWOMB!
etc.
( custard, Sat 30 May 2009, 3:45, archived)

*mingecringe*

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 3:52, archived)

*mingesyringe*

( custard, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:02, archived)

*stuffs a trident missile up your jap*

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:06, archived)

*stuffs a speculum for whales up your clunge butter factory*

( custard, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:11, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6173428
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:15, archived)

oh dear
does that mean I've just been squished to death?

"hoisted by your own petard" just doesn't cover the irony of that one...
( custard, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:20, archived)

*swishes you*

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:21, archived)

*is swished*
dunno what that means, but it sounds intimate in a platonic way and thus is right up my street.

(one consequence of my condition, and having had it for so long [nearly 20 years], is genophobia; intimacy [kissing; hugging is much more appealing than playing hide the sausage).
( custard, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:31, archived)

yeah plenty of ideas
for instance, hamster's wheels should be hooked up to dynamos. think about it.
( scott,, Sat 30 May 2009, 3:48, archived)

JMG!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 1:55, archived)

Who?

( __, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:56, archived)

Why the name change?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 1:57, archived)

You'll see!

( __, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:57, archived)

ie, I've saved "Friz", but won't use it for a while

( __, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:57, archived)

I hope it annoys the spotted and the restless.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 30 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

TGB!

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sat 30 May 2009, 2:11, archived)

you're not TGB
TGB is TheGrammarBadger

GB is who you are. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 30 May 2009, 2:13, archived)

LIES.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sat 30 May 2009, 2:17, archived)

I would never!
/is as innocent and as fresh snow.

okay maybe not that innocent and pure.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 30 May 2009, 2:20, archived)

STD!

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sat 30 May 2009, 2:30, archived)

that's not something you generally brag about...

(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 30 May 2009, 2:32, archived)

Hurray!

( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 30 May 2009, 3:16, archived)

Hello /talk!
What's going down, what the hell are you doing RIGHT now? I've just been on a preliminary drinking session in preparation for an SSG birthday extravaganza.

What's your favourite word by the way?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

You're meeting the Brighton Contingency?
*firm handshakes*

Good luck.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:39, archived)

Thank you.
I'm unsure as to whether my liver can handle it.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:43, archived)

I'm watching Dr. Strangelove and having some beers.
And my favourite word is fanny.

Thank you for asking, The Doveston.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 30 May 2009, 1:39, archived)

I approve of the film.
Peter Sellers is all sorts of funny.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

excellent choice
``you can't fight in here, this is the war-room,'' cracks me up every time, even when not stoned.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

A splash of water on the back of the neck and the code.
That's just what we need.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 30 May 2009, 1:59, archived)

my favourite word is cunt.
It upsets people, which wins for me
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:40, archived)

I find it remarkable that people are still offended by this word.
I've been desensitised.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:46, archived)

that's
obviously because you're a cunt
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

Probably.
Cunt.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

Endomorph

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sat 30 May 2009, 1:42, archived)

listening to the live stream from Primavera Sound
not that it's any of your fucking business
( scott,, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

I'm listening to the new Placebo album.
It's dire.
( WHARRGARBL, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:47, archived)

I never liked them to start with.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 30 May 2009, 1:49, archived)

I always thought that they were the same band as Muse, but with a different name

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 30 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

Packing!!
Meant to be out of accomodation at 10am and I'm still packing up.

Mainly due to me going out for a few drinks in the afternoony

Still, could be worse
( Jinxy13 is hating the S key, right about now., Sat 30 May 2009, 2:33, archived)

EGGS ELEVEN.
No. EGGS ELEV-HEN.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

Allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the threes.
Twentyseven.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 29 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

Oh yeah, look at you with your sarcastic fucking laugh.
But I know you'll nick it for your podcast next week.


BINGO THIEF!
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 29 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

DEAR BALDMONKEY
YOUR PODCAST IS SHIT.
HAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

Seriously, though.
Please provide me with Dear baldmonkey problems to solve. Thank you.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

hahahaaahahah

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

Poo.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

everyone loves the bingo
please tell all your online chums, great forum times
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

NO OFFENCE; NUMBER TENS.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

if you win i'll make your prize so special you'll cry and then realise life can't get better, then die

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES! BOYLES!
SUICIDE DRAMA SING TIME DEATH TRAP.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

I just can't believe
this story. I know it's tragic and all that but it really is shocking news. Guys a loony bin and should be locked up indeffinately.
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:17, archived)

Two little ducks

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:18, archived)

are we playing bingo now?
:(
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

no, it's tomorrow, but i expect this kind of behavior from some forum users, they hate bingo and bingo players
i might gaz the mods
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

you fear it may degenerate into players and haters?

( spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

i really do, it may cause offence, i hope nobody gets upset tho and it can all be fun and no mods take actions other than playng bingo for great times and prizes

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

I'm sure there a re many opinions on this.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

If we permanently locked up all loonies
B3ta would be a very quiet place.
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:23, archived)

loonies dullards
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

If we're doing strikethroughs then...
dul lards

and Aberbeen would be lighter.
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

The only true loon is Frank.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

Theres no actual mentals on here, bar Gilgamesh.
Merely the desperately attention seeking witterings of unfulfilled office drones.

Only Gilgamesh is 4REAL.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

I like eggs.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

have you ever tried to put an egg up your bottom and then poo it out in order to see how chickens feel?

(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Fri 29 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

best of all the birthing environments.
nope, it doesn't scan.
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

I'm playing the part of the oddball in the corner.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

Having met Gilgamesh in person, I can vouch that he's one of the most grounded and outwardly sane people I've ever met.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

I wonder if he has the certificate the declares the holder sane.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

i think he is a great forum user
nice bloke too, makes me laugh
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

"...granted a request for his release..."

granted

granted
( OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

i don't know
i couldn't really say, not knowing the circumstances of the killing or his mental state afterward
( spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

no offence

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

good times

( spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

def self.response
puts "lols, I've just got back from the pub"
end
( MrA, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

Oh god ha ha ha.
I got a pop up of the film 'drag me to hell' when I clicked that.

How unfortunate.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

I like eggs.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:04, archived)

HOUSE.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:04, archived)

House of eggs.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:04, archived)

near the rofl top
www.b3ta.com/links/Heres_how_you_can_finish_off_those_essays_that_are_annoying_you
( __, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:11, archived)

I'm going to miss the new series of House
This makes a very sad jenpots :o(
( jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:08, archived)

Surely the internet is your friend in this regard?

(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Fri 29 May 2009, 23:09, archived)

for people who can work it
I am some sort of 'tard that doesn't know how to download stuff.
( jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:11, archived)

no bingo for you? great prizes, top times, nice forum

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:13, archived)

Why not contact someone who has and ask for it on disc.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:14, archived)

I've seen it. The last episode is quite sad.

( OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

OH BALDMAN!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 23:05, archived)

you'll be in tomorrow, fucking play bingo and enjoy yourself you spastic

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:06, archived)

I'd like to chat.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 23:09, archived)

i like to jack

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:10, archived)

i'd rather jack

(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Fri 29 May 2009, 23:10, archived)

fleetwood mack
nods
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:12, archived)

I like gegs

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:13, archived)

I like greggs
Actually that's a lie, I don't.
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Fri 29 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

but do you like bingo?

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

Possibly.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:18, archived)

saturday night is bingo night, gaz me for a ticket

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

'Dull thread B3ta bingo'
right it's on, gaz me if you wish to play tomorrow night, top prizes and great times, no cheating i will be checking all calls of bingo, false callers will be scraped from the game, good luck
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:44, archived)

is this a dull thread then?
oh, it's tomorrow night
( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:44, archived)

forum banter, great stuff

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:46, archived)

Can we get the rules?

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 29 May 2009, 22:44, archived)

Mornington Crescent!

( CowJam, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:45, archived)

i will post a number in threads i think are dull, delete the number from the gaz i send you, we will do one line and house
great times
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:46, archived)

I'm not out tomorrow so I'm in!

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 29 May 2009, 22:48, archived)

gaz me then, good luck

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:53, archived)

You know the rules and so do I
Never gonna give you up

etc.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 29 May 2009, 23:00, archived)

I might not be around tomorrow Mongy so I'll decline.
I saw Derren Brown's stage show last night and it was very good.
( magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:45, archived)

top prizes?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:45, archived)

A paid for meal out with Pickle Fairy.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:47, archived)

*puts on duncan bannatyne style accent*
"I'm oout!"
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:48, archived)

Second Prize : A meal out with Pickle Fairy. No tab.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:50, archived)

what happened to a night with sexface?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:51, archived)

I thought anyone with a spare bacardi breezer could get that?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:55, archived)

hey, this is no way to promote this new internet forum smash
come on people, eyes down look in
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:54, archived)

Believe me, you wouldn't have wanted to drive a bus today
it was like driving around in a sauna wearing thermals. My undercrackers were literally welded to my arse. How did you enjoy the sunshine?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

I wanted to be a bus driver when I was around 7 years old.
True.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

it's great
I got given an extra large kit-kat and a can of pop today by an old lady in her 80's bless
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

brilliant!
I want to be a bus driver now.
( jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:23, archived)

I walked around outside and put on a healthy sweat.
healthy sweat filthy stench
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

I took a 20 minute walk in a forest between meetings
it was nice, but I left my bottle of water in the cup holder in the car so it was very hot and undrinkable when I got back.
( magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

you could have made tea with it

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

Making grass whistles with the girls
and blowing them as loud as we could.
( jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

You can actually make whistles out of girls if you get the angle right
And spin them around your head at the correct speed
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

I used to do that as a kid
and putting my hand under my armpit and making farting noises in the classroom
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

I worked then went for a surf.
When the sun set, I proceeded to make buzzing sounds at a 10 year old girl crying on TV.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 29 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

I missed the show tonight

(thank god)
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

The missus watches it so I sit there and make comments about which act is shitter than which.
Love Diversity and Flawless though. and that kid that got through tonight.

Not the little girl though. She's an embarassment to us all. At 10 years old, I sang in front of 70 parents at my primary school and I didn't fucking cry.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 29 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

I'm voting Flawless

( magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

Although I've only seen 2 episodes

( magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

I wanted this one to win
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

Good lord
Was she doing the Beyonce Single Ladies dance?
( magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:44, archived)

I'm cleaning out my drawers ready for when I move out.
I don't know what half these cables and adapters are for :(
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

It was ok.
I sat on the wrong side of the bus coming home so couldn't really see the screens on my DS. Waiting for the bus was warmer - I couldn't be arsed decloaking til I got on the bus so was stood sweating into my plastic jacket.
( CowJam, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:45, archived)

Decloaking?
Are you some sort of Klingon warship?
( in vino veritas, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:48, archived)

Yes.
And I'm on your starboard bow.
( CowJam, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:04, archived)

So what do we make of that Turkish act?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:40, archived)

a kebab

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:41, archived)

I hear you!
..It'll be the same again, same as each year.
The Germans will give 12 points to Poland and the old Commie states will vote for one another.
And Graham Norton's shit, somebody please shut him up.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:42, archived)

If I'm in tomorrow night, and it's looking good as I've NO WORK and A SORE BACK, I'm going to do my Eurovision routine all over your big fat TV viewing.
Saying that, Team Handsome wanted to go out for the Cup Final.
I'm in a quandary.

I DO like football and drinking and shouting HERE PET at the women. But I also hate my sore back.
Oh woe is me.
I won't take any advice given seriously as it might involve getting a takeaway.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:45, archived)

if you stay in you may get the chance to play dull thread bingo, for prizes

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:48, archived)

what prizes?

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:48, archived)

prizes, proper ones and that

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

id like some carpet

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

i'm not sure that will be avalible to be honest

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

im constantly gypped

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

sod off, it's only online bingo on a forum
i'm not providing carpet, whatever next, elephant eggs or summat
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:59, archived)

haha elephant eggs eh
you'd even have trouble providing a fucking invisible pizza
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:01, archived)

www.jammastergeordie.com/2008/04/jmgs-official-new-gameshow-wobble-bingo.html
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:48, archived)

this will be real bingo, the numbers will be posted in dull threads, it will either all kick off or be great times
i don't give a toss either way, great times
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:51, archived)

HOUSE

( vladimir, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:50, archived)

steady on there, we haven't started yet and i will suffer no false calls young man

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

:(
does this mean I haven't won the fruit basket?
( vladimir, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

you haven't even got your ticket yet
silly fool
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:55, archived)

Fucking hell
I bet you sit in the bath surrounded by LUSH products and will then sit in front of the sofa in a big white bath robe with a face pack on.

Man the fuck up, JMG.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:04, archived)

Delightful
(Get it? :D)
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:41, archived)

I don't.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:43, archived)

Oh JMG,
even my dad would get that, and he lives in Sunderland.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:44, archived)

jmg was born in sunderland, his mum is from gateshead

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:46, archived)

Gateshead isn't offensive.
Try Middlesbrough.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:46, archived)

Hartlepool?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:48, archived)

I know a girl from Hartlepool. A nurse.
Gosh she's lovely. She's in Australia now, fucking a kangaroo no doubt.
Lovely girl.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:51, archived)

I quite like Hartlepool marina,
there's a very good East Asian restaurant there, called The Lotus Garden.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

I've never been to said Marina.
:(
Perhaps one day I'll sail at it.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:58, archived)

i've never been to these places i'm unaware of the offence, south shields?

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:49, archived)

All your buzz words are all located on Tyneside, so far.
Asides the obvious "Sunderland".
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

Billingham
Stockton
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

Getting in to inbreeding, down there.
Careful!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

Pity Me
Lanchester
Seaham
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

Blythe
Boldon
Washington New Town
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:58, archived)

I know a girl from Blyth.
Loud.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:59, archived)

Chester-le-Street

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:05, archived)

i will study the atlas then, it doesn't appear to work like london, where we hate everybody

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

What is he some kind of vigilante?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:46, archived)

some kind.
I hear he's been trying to kill the local rabbits with his air rifle lately. And failing, because they run off whenever he shouts "yee haw!"
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:47, archived)

He's fitting in with the locals, there.
You really should look in to getting him out of there. If you do indeed love the man.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:48, archived)

I've tried my best to convince him it is no place to be,
but he has resolved to stay.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:49, archived)

Oh Jammy :(

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:50, archived)

:(

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

i don't trust the turks, stab you in the thighs from behind

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:42, archived)

I can make a brooch, a hat etc..

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:42, archived)

I think the games up and everyone knows that they're violent greek hating racist thugs.
It doesn't fool me JMG.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:42, archived)

I just hope it doesn't stay in Moscow next year.
That Russian act was shit, MoT.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:43, archived)

greek leeds
( CowJam, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:45, archived)

they do bloody good pizzas though

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:48, archived)

one thing those Turkish can do
and that is act

/may contain Turkish Star Wars
( chuff monkey I AM him, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:42, archived)

I reckon moohala must actually be a really masculine bloke who downs pints and can fix a lawnmower
because you've definitely turned into a shirt-lifting fudgepacking raving mincing queer, JMG.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:44, archived)

This thread is not about something that's on the television.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:37, archived)

but what happened next?

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:38, archived)

he went to the toilet,
and then he flew out the window.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:39, archived)

if its not dogs pissing on bridesmaids im just not interested

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:40, archived)

Fucking Superman
dirty cunt never washes his hands
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:41, archived)

What are you wearing?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:38, archived)

I have a purple flowery top from New Look.
It is sort of Empire Line with a bow at the back and a frilly edge at the bottom.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:39, archived)

That's not nearly sexy enough.
Get changed.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:39, archived)

i'm browsing /talk via my PS3, so you're on my television right now

( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:38, archived)

YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR
Your bum is on fire.
( CowJam, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:39, archived)

i'm not a liar

( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:41, archived)

You clearly are

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:42, archived)

Hmm, lets see
"i don't own a tv" (here).

"you're on my television right now" (here).

This makes you a liar.
( CowJam, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:44, archived)

omg youre like fucking columbo

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:45, archived)

where do i deny being a liar?

( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:46, archived)

FUCK OFF

( CowJam, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:51, archived)

I'M ON YOUR TELLY

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:49, archived)

you aren't, i was lying

( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:50, archived)

who wants to tell me what to read next?

( chuff monkey I AM him, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:38, archived)

Roadside Picnic

( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:38, archived)

Intrested,
now sell it to me
( chuff monkey I AM him, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:39, archived)

i've no interest in selling it to you
sorry
( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:41, archived)

Some book about an American boning a Japanese girl and Jane Mansfield
or maybe not Jane Mansfield, but he definitely dicked a lot of chicks in Paris in the 1920s. It's a well good book and will definitely give you a stiffy.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:42, archived)

i'm going to point out that this is not the book i recommended, just in case there is any confusion

( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:44, archived)

awww
i at least i am disappointed now rather than after i have read the book only to find no Jane Mansfield knobbing
( chuff monkey I AM him, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:46, archived)

Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
and it was June, not Jane, Mansfield. Lots of knobbing though.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:01, archived)

basically he should just should read both
it's all good
( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

Willy fun times

( chuff monkey I AM him, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:44, archived)

So is this answer.
BONG! News At Ten
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:38, archived)

i think we need to get back to talking about me, we had the good parts
but i'm sure people don't like some areas of me
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:38, archived)

Amanda Holden needs a slap

( CowJam, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:33, archived)

i don't own a tv
so this thread makes no sense to me
( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:33, archived)

I don't watch TV
Let's spoon.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:35, archived)

let's not

( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:36, archived)

How do you know it's TV related then
Hmm?
( in vino veritas, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:35, archived)

lucky guess?

( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:36, archived)

slap cock
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:34, archived)

threadworthy

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:34, archived)

good, new thread please with done this one

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:36, archived)

cos EVERYBODY
likes football
( CowJam, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:37, archived)

I work with someone called Amanda.
Very good-looking lass she is, especially her eyes; she's got her head screwed on the right way, too. And my line manager's maiden name was Holden. So effectively, I work with Amanda Holden.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:36, archived)

Christ.
The Football, eh?
Chelsea or Everton?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

I myself have had money on this being Chelsea's FA Cup since after the Quarters.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

whichever one gets me the triple word score plus the bonus 50 for using up all my tiles

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

neither of them then,
because they're proper nouns.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

EAT MY GOAL

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

i can't really bring myself to care about the FA cup
sorry
( well, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

0 - 0 all the way.
Everton to sneak it on penalties.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

I see a Chelsea 3-1.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:25, archived)

No idea.
I have one of these which is surplus to requirements. It's brand new and completely unused although I think the box got binned. I may ebay it but if anyone here wants it, you can have it for £75. And it came from a JMG tread.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

You best post this later when all the fatties who have me on block can see it.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:25, archived)

I handn't thought that through had I?

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:26, archived)

The fuller cheeked community are possibly missing out on a bargain.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:27, archived)

I concur as I just realised it's the next model up with a dvd recorder built in. D'oh!

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:29, archived)

I don't have any personal use for such a thing,
but I wonder if it's a trivial matter to swap the hard drive out for a bigger one.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:26, archived)

i'm pondering if i need it, i do love a bit of sony

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:31, archived)

I bought a whole load of it but we just got the Sky HD box so It is not needed.
I haven't wanked on it.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:33, archived)

ball ball ball
footy footy footy
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:25, archived)

Christ is football not over yet
can't wait till the pubs are free from the shouting sweaty 'tards again.
( chuff monkey I AM him, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:26, archived)

Do you only turn up when the football is on?!
Why can't people think and plan ahead?!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 21:29, archived)

how can i plan ahead when i have no idea when footie is on
people should plan around me, with RFID dongles and satellites and wi-fi dammit
( chuff monkey I AM him, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:32, archived)

I am a fan of Mongy's work
What's you favourite thing about Mongy?

Mongy
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:21, archived)

my tight buns

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:21, archived)

NEAR THE TOP!
www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=70347721485
( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:24, archived)

haha, i fucking hate dogs

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

I'm laughing at the thought of these korean fisherman with a box labelled "dogs".

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:26, archived)

do you think they have a selection of dogs
' the border collies work well yesterday, but the tides turning so stick on a spaniel'
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:51, archived)

I like that you like Mongy's work

( SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:22, archived)

SITCOM QUIZ TIME

( ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:22, archived)

soon, little people are around still
bingo will take me longer, the cards are taking ages to make,
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:23, archived)

Waiting for God?

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

His bivvy.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:22, archived)

bivvy fives

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:23, archived)

bivvy

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:22, archived)

smashing bivvy, great forum

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:24, archived)

I fingered him in a pub in Oxford

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:32, archived)

*blinks*

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:36, archived)

You just wish i were knuckles deep in you in a (not smoky anymore) pub

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:40, archived)

no >:(

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:46, archived)

That's my job :(

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:47, archived)

I like that trick you do with the cigarette
phwoar
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:51, archived)

He's an all-round great bloke with a very healthy sense of humour.
This is based on his input and a brief, drunken encounter in an unbearably noisy Manchester pub last year.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

i feel a little tear coming on

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:26, archived)

You want some piles cream

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:31, archived)

My muscular thighs.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

fucking hell
i come home to this
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:33, archived)

It could be wors,e i could have my balls in your mouth

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

could you?
jog on.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:36, archived)

Jog and wheeze on ennit.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:37, archived)

trudat
make it stop mike :(
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:38, archived)

his small, magical chicken, sorry, no offence
Internet bantam
( spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:34, archived)

who told you about kevin?

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:43, archived)

a little birdie

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:52, archived)

BARRY

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:37, archived)

i'm not barry

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:43, archived)

His smiley eyebrows.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 29 May 2009, 20:46, archived)

haha, i have no idea if they are smiley but i like the description, i might put it on my c.v

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:48, archived)

His winning smile.
And I bet he's well good at catching fish.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 29 May 2009, 20:50, archived)

meh
don't ask how many times he's blanked
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:52, archived)

┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:55, archived)

that ent the one do the one i like

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:57, archived)

¯\(º_o)/¯

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:59, archived)

that always makes me do lol

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:59, archived)

┗(סּ_סּ)┓
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:57, archived)

i love you

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:56, archived)

this fan club is going to be small and easy to run, you can all have a badge and a quaterly news letter, for free

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:01, archived)

dangerously close to planning that.
back the fuck up.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:03, archived)

you're going to run my fan club? cheers, i am a bit busy

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:04, archived)

Hello /talk
So, last thing Friday we get an email from our absent manager saying we have to come in for a mandatory meeting on Monday. We then find out he is 'at risk'. So looks like I get made redundant Monday. Piss.

I sort of get why. We have spent the last 3 years doing more or less nowt for way too much pay. How will I ever find a job to replace it!
(Northern Lovely, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:08, archived)

Have you considered going into journalism?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

Or espionage?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

both of which use newspapers
either to be written for or be hidden behind.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

you could try management...

( Batsgirl, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:11, archived)

you could be a text psychic
"Hello is ma boyfrnd cheetin on me"

The spirits guide me in my answer to you. Your lucky numbers for today are 7, 3 and 48. Cost £1.50/msg rcvd.
( moohalaa, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:11, archived)

MYSTIC MOO!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

the sequinned headdress would be fabulous!

( moohalaa, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

whilst you walked around holding a pint?

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

I'm unqualified
Even despite all signs pointing to this, I still didn't see it coming.

Oh sweet ignorance!!
(Northern Lovely, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

The blind prostitute had that problem
she could not see it coming either.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:13, archived)

Trust me, there's a job going.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

Dunno, you could go on the game
you can work from home
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

Try standing for one of the major political parties.
/lolsatire!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

hmmmm, good question
hold on no it's not, new thread please
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

is there any point in my doing this?
www.accesstoindustry.co.uk/access-creative-industries.html
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:13, archived)

you could possible get a job at macdonalds with `media studies` on your cv.

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

"You need to prioritise college over everything else you do."
I did this, and ended up more or less unemployable. Therefore, I call bullshit.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

i wouldn't think so, you'd be better off doing a plumbing course

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

I don't want to be a plumber :(

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

you could walk around with a spanner
and tighten blokes nuts.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

electronics? electrics?
international shipping broker?
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

Microelectronics would be alright,
I guess. Maybe. I found a vaguely relevant course once, but I'd have to pay to go on it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

meh, tap the goverment up for the money

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:19, archived)

I've already tapped them for all they're worth,
they won't be falling for that again.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

Why not?
You get out and about, you get to use your hands, you need intelligence and common sense to sort out any problems you encounter, and you generally get a handsome pay packet. The only real disadvantage is the cost of training.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

I don't like getting dirty.
And... I just don't care. I want to do a pansy arts job.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:19, archived)

i don't get dirty, i think i'm supposed to tho
dunno i'd have to get a job description
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:21, archived)

and a fair bit of turd wrangling :(((((

( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

True, but if I was getting that kind of money I wouldn't complain.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:21, archived)

I would,
I'm not really that fussed about money, I'd rather do something I enjoy and have some interest in.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:22, archived)

So would just about everyone in the world, but you can't have everything you want.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:23, archived)

Well there's no point even trying if you're only allowed to achieve the exact opposite of what you want.
I'm trying to improve my life here, not make it worse.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:24, archived)

I'd be happy spending 12 hours a day sifting through raw sewage looking for gold, if it meant I could live in reasonable comfort the rest of the time.
And you can learn valuable things from even the crappiest jobs, even if it's nothing more than "don't accept any kind of job with TK Maxx, no matter how good the pay".

That said, this kind of practically-minded attitude makes me even less attractive to graduate-employers than anything else. If I'd crawled back to my mother with my tail between my legs and spent the last 9 months moping about my room smoking pot, whining about how there were no "proper" jobs available, they'd probably be falling over themselves to hire me now.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:34, archived)

yeah thing is
my life is already reasonably comfortable as it is, to be honest. It just drives me nuts that I never get to do anything or meet anyone. I'm not going to spend my time and money qualifying for something I don't actually want to pursue as a career. I did that once already and it didn't turn out well.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:40, archived)

Fuck graduate jobs.
All I need to do is find something I'd actually like to do, and some way into it, because I find it near impossible even to apply for a job I don't really want, whether I'm qualified for it or not. And I absolutely cannot fake enthusiasm, so even if I got as far as an interview I'd be completely screwed.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:55, archived)

I went as far as a PhD based on little more than what I got good grades in
and what my parents thought would be a good idea, because on an entirely practical level, where only potential earnings count for anything, that seemed to make sense. Sure, I could have carried on, and got the grades, and ended up professor in physics at Cambridge or something. It's not because I wasn't intellectually capable. But I'm not a robot and I simply do not want to live like that.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 21:00, archived)

Well I wasn't so much asking for suggestions as...oh wait yes I was
I can't even look for a new job. I get married in 5 weeks :/
(Northern Lovely, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

I don't know how that's an excuse.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

I have so much time off coming up no new company would touch me till I was back
Is what I mean. Sorry. I don't explain well.
(Northern Lovely, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

so,she has a few weeks to see what kinda life she has to look forward to without any money
can you get a refund on the honeymoon?
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

No, and I think I need the holiday :)
Ah well I guess this could be the kick up the arse I needed. The redundancy not the wedding ;)
(Northern Lovely, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

hurrah for cancelled weddings!
this is why I'm going on a free holiday in two weeks
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

ahh man now you've tugged at my heart strings
i might have a little moment to myself if that's ok
( mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

there's good money in sexy haunting

( spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

There's a job going at some psychic call center in Manchester

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:13, archived)

MP?
Or go for the money shot: MEP
( magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:30, archived)