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# I do the Austrian dance for you...
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:51, archived)
# hooray
for eggy film stars
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:06, archived)
# i know, i know
it's not big or clever, it just happened

(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:42, archived)
# So many holes...
yet only one cock.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:43, archived)
#
Your all class, Baz!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:44, archived)
# Gah!
you've made me do one now as well

(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:50, archived)
# I've just been reading Sandman on the bog.
Arrrrrrrrrrghh! The Corinthian!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:38, archived)
# bring a friend
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:44, archived)
# hell,
bring two
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:45, archived)
# Don't worry,
you're the biggest cock I've ever met.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:47, archived)
# So I've been told.


No, wait.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:50, archived)
# hhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
hehehehehe!

COCK!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:58, archived)
# arrrrgh! aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!
*runs away screaming*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:43, archived)
# i wish
it hadn't


woo!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:43, archived)
# They should put these eye-mouth swops in the waiting rooms
of fertility clinics.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:44, archived)
# Ian Yeeks
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:45, archived)
# Am I alone in thinking that it's a little ridiculous
that everyone is going to be able to get free fertility treatment on the NHS? I mean, it's not as if there's any shortage of children in the world. Wouldn't it make more sense for these couples to adpot orphans from poorer nations?

Discuss.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:46, archived)
# only if they give free
infertility treatment too for couples that don't want kids
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:48, archived)
# Aren't vasectomies free?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:49, archived)
# no
but they did cut the price lately and now they're a snip.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:51, archived)
# *groan*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:52, archived)
# britain has a zero growth rate
we are running out of young people
(edit) woops, i don't mean zero growth. i mean low birth rate hence a population with an increasingly large proportion of the old and retired
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:48, archived)
# Well why not import some?
There's plenty out there.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:49, archived)
# exactermally
we'll be paying people to move here in ten years time
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:51, archived)
# We're doing that now!


/Daily Mail
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:52, archived)
# it's what makes me laugh about
the anti-immigration nobbers. on page one of the daily mail its all 'keep the nasty foreigners out' and on page two it will be 'why isn't the government doing anything about the lack of doctors/teachers/police'

how many doctors are sitting in detention centers at the moment?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:02, archived)
# Harold Shipman
for one
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:10, archived)
# You are a bad, bad man.
:)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:12, archived)
# haha!
he was doing the country a favour really ;)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:13, archived)
# he's a hero
but where's his medal?




/Homer
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:27, archived)
# Bwha ha ha ha
Bravo sir, bravo!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:14, archived)
# Hahaha
Evil lad
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:26, archived)
# But that's just a response to the population boom after the wars.
Britain is densely populated, and may not be able to sustain it's own food and energy suplies as time goes on and "developing nations" start to wonder why they send us all the food they grow.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:51, archived)
# there is a large number of
houses standing empty here, but we're a bit crap on the infrastructure to support them
i wouldn't say we are densely populated, it's not as if we are crammed up to the edges of the sea or anything

farming is increasingly fucked, which you're right will be an increasing problem as we have to import more. the biggest problem i see is developing countries not wanting to export all their professionals here, which is fair enough
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:56, archived)
# Not true:
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:55, archived)
#
www.sustainable-development.gov.uk/sustainable/quality99/chap4/04k03.htm
(edit) i don't know if that website is any good, it is the first one i came across that shows how the proportion of people over 65 is increasing
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:58, archived)
# It was the zero growth bit I was arguing with
There are more births than deaths in the UK
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:03, archived)
# you're right
what i was really meaning was that the birth rate is low, and that the proportion of older (hence retired) people is increasing significantly

i used the wrong term, which was confusing
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:08, archived)
# It doesn't say in your link
how much of that 2.5m increase is due to imigration though. Quite alot over the 20 years '81-'01 I would think.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:09, archived)
# not much really
there wasn't that much immigration in the twenty year period, 'cos there were realtively few humanitarian crises that people could escape to here from until near the end.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:30, archived)
# Plenty of economic migration though.
And there are an awful lot of Somalians, Cosovans, Columbians, Indian Muslims and others who might disagree with your point there.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:33, archived)
# Yes it does:
"The growth in the population of the UK is mainly due to net natural change (more births than deaths). Natural change accounted for over 80 per cent of the total population change between 1981 and 2001. The rest of the population change is due to other changes. Although the main component of these other changes is net civilian migration, this is not the only component. "
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 13:14, archived)
# falafel
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:49, archived)
# try
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:49, archived)
# I agree to some extent.
I would like to see adoption become alot more popular generally, and a good place to start would be to open the way for more same-sex couples to adopt.

There's an argument that reproduction is something of a basic human right though, and therefore witholding the treatment might constitute a breach of said rights. Plus, it could stave off depression and other psychological trauma for the couple involved.

Anyway, what do I know. Fuck it.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:49, archived)
# Hmm.
www.un.org/Overview/rights.html

I guess it depends how you interpret Article 16.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:53, archived)
# Indeed.
I suppose a good lawyer would site interpret clase 3 as support for my above argument.

I'm more inclined to agree with your initial premise though. And I think my friend just below here is right too. It'll inevitably lead to a progressive increase of infertility.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:58, archived)
# Doesn't say you have a right to have kids
just that your family should be protected.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:03, archived)
# Well
it says "the family" should be protected. Does that mean a specific family already in existence, or the idea of a family should be protected, ie the physical ability to create said family.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:05, archived)
# *sniffs*
you a lawyer?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:07, archived)
# how does he smell?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:14, archived)
# I love lawyers
.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:15, archived)
# Well, as much as I hate to say it, Fertility is one of the strongest evolutionary factors.
and the more children born to low-fertility couples, the more fertility treatment will be needed in years to come, until it is relied upon for reproduction.

It isn't Eugenics, it's a case of humanity being biologically prepared to survive in the event of, say, a power-cut.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:55, archived)
# technically,
that is eugenics, I believe.
Cancer is also partly heritable. Should we refuse cancer sufferers treatment too?
edit: this is getting too serious for b3ta, I'm going to lunch.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:02, archived)
# I don't think he's stating that as a case for witholding treatment
just that it's a strong possibility, and if we set a precedent for it being publicly funded, it should be done with an awareness of the future costs involved.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:04, archived)
# Yes.
The NHS is already under enough financial pressure without spending hundreds of millions of pounds and what is essentially a "luxury". I've no objection to people spending their own money on fertility treatment.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:07, archived)
# And for fuck's sake
some of these people are fucking ugly
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:14, archived)
# Perhaps we should means test.
If you can pass an attractiveness test, and answer 50 medium-difficulty general knowledge questions, then it's on the house. Otherwise, you're on the genetic scrapheap along with the other retarded thickos.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:21, archived)
# Absolutely
looking at some of these people I'm sure it's not infertility it's just that they're both so ugly the thought of fucking each other fills them with a dread and fear only previouslt felt in the trenches.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:23, archived)
# You're controversial
but I like your style. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:25, archived)
# No, but people don't die of infertility.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:04, archived)
# Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm




*thinks*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:04, archived)
# same sex couples can adopt
just only one of them adopts the kids, the other becomes a legal guardian.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:56, archived)
# I believe so
although I see an awful lot of literature bemoaning the reluctance of adoption boards to place children with same-sex couples. It's an attitude adjustment that's needed rather than a legal one I think. The same applies to mixed-race couples, or black couples adopting asian children, for example.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:00, archived)
# true
I suppose my mates who adopted do live in Brighton... Were all gay in Brighton
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:06, archived)
# we certainly are!
Whoops!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:14, archived)
# make them adopt a kitten instead
far nicer than children
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:50, archived)
# exactly
Free Kittens
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:53, archived)
# It is a bit daft, yes
Until you can't have kids


By the same logic, it's also daft to treat people for cancer or AIDS, or heart disease when millions of people are dying of hunger.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:51, archived)
# In theory I agree with your last point.
Which is ironic, as I've just accepted a moderately well-paid job at a Cancer Research Institute. I'm part of the problem!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:00, archived)
# what are you doing for them?
just out of interest
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:03, archived)
# Erm, stuff to do with protein-folding.
Only tenuously linked with actual cancer research, as the case with quite a lot of "medical" research.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:05, archived)
# Not quite the same logic
People dying of cancer, heart disease or hunger all have the same right to life whereas it seems reasonable to suppose the right to personally procreate is less important than to ensure the welfare of existing children.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:02, archived)
# another point
the more we give fertility treatment out,
the more (usually) infertile couples shall procreate,
the more infertile children we have

until the human race, or at least the rich part, becomes completely and irreversibly infertile and we all die

then kittens rule the earth, in a tyranical reign of terror, mwahahahahaaaa!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:55, archived)
# I've just Green Lighted
this, go ahead and make it :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:58, archived)
# i might just do that
But i could never make it as well as you, Sir
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:01, archived)
# but then, by the same argument,
we shouldn't give anyone any medical treatment at all.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:58, archived)
# there's a balance to everything
we seem to be tipping the scales a little too far

read some Nieche :) i haven't, but i've been told it's what it's about
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:02, archived)
# ahem
nietzche
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:34, archived)
# Makes me sick
Less babies!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:59, archived)
# BUT I WANT LOTS OF LITTLE MATTYBOYS RUNNING AROUND
IMPREGNATING THE POPULACE AND SPREADING MY DEPRAVED LOGIC ACROSS THE GLOBE
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:08, archived)
# Shut it.
Everyone knows your "condition" makes you infertile. Thank god.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:09, archived)
# Arrrrrgh fuck
I did not need to see that when I hit Home.

Woo to your scary fucking kids!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:44, archived)
# Arrrrrrrrrgh
Fuck me!! Thats what kids look like when I dream!!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:46, archived)
# i dreamt about
badger badger badger badger last night. freaked me out!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:52, archived)
# you have a thing about badgers
dont you (not that im judging you understand)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:55, archived)
# so this is what you do all day
when you're not redesigning my entire site for me, for free
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:48, archived)
# that
makes me want to cry
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:51, archived)
# Today's the day the teddy boys have their picnic
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:41, archived)
# Hee hee
that gud!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:42, archived)
# oh
yes.
They're on the Bluebell Railway next to bovine and I
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:42, archived)
# I
was on the Bluebell railway at the weekend, with my calf :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:43, archived)
# A friend of mine took her four year old daughter and friends there
for her birthday. She said the train looked like it was en route to Auschwitz.

/hell
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:45, archived)
# har har!
it's funny how kids love going on a steam train, but whinge and moan if they're on my train to work - little sods...
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:47, archived)
# Scotch egg?

Ooh, can I hear a Woodpecker?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:54, archived)
# Lovely
Indeed it is, the lesser spotted Warbling Wibbling Woodpecker I believe.
Maybe a spot of punting after lunch?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:57, archived)
# Marvellous.
*burp*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:16, archived)
# that's
"Rockin"
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:47, archived)
# Great punnage!
I won't be going down to the woods today. They look meeeeean.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:55, archived)
# I thought that today
was the day that teddy boys got their picks nicked
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:59, archived)
# love
that
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:08, archived)
# um... morning!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:39, archived)
# ace,
that is

/brummie
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:44, archived)
# Dum, dum, dum, dum, da, dadada (EE music)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:35, archived)
# AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is awful punnery. Well done.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:36, archived)
# Fuck that's awful - woo!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:36, archived)
# Groantastic!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:36, archived)
# puntastic!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:36, archived)
# can you tell me why i should visit this site
in 6 double syllabled words
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:38, archived)
# .
because because because because because because.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:39, archived)
# because of the wonderful things he does
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:40, archived)
# i don't meant to spoil it for you
but actually he couldn't do anything at all... he was a complete phony, not even a wizard!

(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:41, archived)
# I've heard rumours
that the song was more a referance to his bedroom antics.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:42, archived)
# hmmm
I played the wizard once
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:49, archived)
# that don't impress me much.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:53, archived)
# the wizard
or in wizzard?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:01, archived)
# Not to worry
I was just after the ruby slippers
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:43, archived)
# *gasp*

Edit: By the way I did another Pylon post yesterday...
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:43, archived)
# woo!
you're not trying to seduce me are you?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:50, archived)
# Well
if you insist...

(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:56, archived)
# he brings hope
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:44, archived)
# the wonderful wizard of oz.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:40, archived)
# because of the wonderful things he does.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:41, archived)
# The three of us
should get out more.

Together.

*edit* make that 4 */edit*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:41, archived)
# i once played a munchkin on stage
i probably shouldn't admit to that here
(edit) i was six at the time
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:42, archived)
# What did you play on him?
Bach?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:43, archived)
# i put rubber bands round him
and played him like a banjo
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:44, archived)
# repost!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:46, archived)
# :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:49, archived)
# let's visit a poppy field
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:48, archived)
# because
of the wonderful things he does ....
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:41, archived)
# nice puns
¦¬D
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:40, archived)
# not to mention
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:43, archived)
# pun fun-tastic!
I shall be *borrowing*

ahem :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:53, archived)
# fuck
sake :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:36, archived)
# Groan!
*slap!

arf!!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:37, archived)
# splendidly bad!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:37, archived)
# verily..
.....it be funny.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:37, archived)
# Fandabbidozee
*kerplunk*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:38, archived)
# hahahahaha
hehehehehehhee!

you loon!

:)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:38, archived)
# urgh
arf
and woo
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:39, archived)
# Oh god!
ultragroan
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:40, archived)
# That is
very funny
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:45, archived)
# Mornin' B3tians!!!

I saw this little ryme today and it made me smile "I wish I was a glow worm, a glow worms never glum, how can you be gloomy when the sun shines out your bum"
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:31, archived)
#
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# how odd
i like it
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:33, archived)
# why thankyou
it took me a depressingly large ammount of time!!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:34, archived)
# that's what b3ta is all about
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:38, archived)
# how nice
you are an uberlurker
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:34, archived)
# a
What?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:35, archived)
#
a member for 1 year, 228 days, 21 hours, 19 minutes and 34 seconds
has posted 123 messages
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:36, archived)
# Oh that!
Well I didnt come on here for about a year and Im arround on and off these days
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:38, archived)
# BASK IN MY UBER LURKISHNESSITY
.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:41, archived)
# Cheat.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:41, archived)
# is it
fnord?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:44, archived)
# I
doubt it :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:56, archived)
# tis
I :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:09, archived)
[challenge entry] Cole Sear takes a cruise...........

(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:31, archived)
# technically two modern films
but no harm in entering it
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# that
made me chuckle...though its not nice to laugh at peoplesickles...
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# It's funny!
But I'm not sure it quite fits the challenge brief. Others may say different.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# i love it
its made me laugh
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# Gr-
-oan.

but Woo! all the same.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:33, archived)
# arf
I likey
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:33, archived)
# blah blah blah
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:34, archived)
# One day...........i'll
unzip that Gif maker.......grrrrrrr
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:35, archived)
# Always leave it unzipped
and swinging freely - you get some strange looks but its very liberateing
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:42, archived)
# I have no idea why I did this...
Just thought it'd look funny..



Damn - she's back with the plonker from Holby City...

Original here if you wanna play with her (Oo-er missus)... I was gonna use this one, but I couldn't think where to put the banana. (Innocent whistle)...
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:28, archived)
# Cue someone shopping her with
a huge black dildo.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:29, archived)
# i'd rather shaft her arse with a huge black dildo.

is that wrong?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:30, archived)
# cant see how?
thats wrong
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# Round my way
we don't call it "shopping".


oh.....I see.....
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:30, archived)
# AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!
PUN OVERLOAD!! PUN OVERLOAD!!!

(too many to know where to start)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:30, archived)
# made me chuckle
who is she and what's Holby City?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:30, archived)
# guy with a quiff
and a city
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# of course they're back together
very odd how they broke up just as her single was coming out....
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:30, archived)
# hehe
hehe
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# ouch
that tingles a bit...
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:26, archived)
# is that
his winky?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:27, archived)
# well
if its covered in blood and coming out of his chest....then yes...yes it is....
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:28, archived)
# does your winky look like that?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:28, archived)
# Yes.
Fancy a shag?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:30, archived)
# might be a little painful
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:31, archived)
# or he might get an odd view
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:33, archived)
# Weirdlittlebiscuit's mum's frigid
apparently...
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:30, archived)
# For Lazygamer

Clicky biggeration.


I said it wouldn't be as good...
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:25, archived)
# haha
love it, thanks.

paraplegic tron.

ta
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:30, archived)
# Ha ha
thanks - by the way your driving game thingy was pretty good too.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# its good till you lose the car
then you have to f5 to get it back. best bit is how its only 7KB.

again
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:34, archived)
# got enough banner ads there?
couldn't sqeeze in a few more?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:39, archived)
# Rum, Rum a bottle of Rum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:25, archived)
# aw,
schweet
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:40, archived)
# Following from yesterdays sketch dump.
Making movie posters, piece of piss.


Clicky for Biggertron!


(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:24, archived)
# haha!
I'm going shopping at lunch for a tracksuit just like that one.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:24, archived)
# no, get an all-in-one jumpsuit
it's gonna be all the rage soon.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:25, archived)
# i'm spazzing through time now
it'll take many months to do, so far i'm up to fluffy's first appearance
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:27, archived)
# Mind you don't get lost!
I wonder if there's any chance of the time-spazzer ever getting back in working order?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:29, archived)
# There's an emergency exit here
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# The back door eh?
Useful for those drowning in the spazz.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:34, archived)
# what was it?
It was broken when I got here, and I've always vaguely wondered but never asked
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:36, archived)
# You could spazz
chronologically, rather than using the search or knowing the post number. I think it searched for the date in the post information.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:37, archived)
# ooooh
That sounds good. I guess I could write something to do that just by getting a date off each archive page. Would probably be a bit of a bandwidth hog though...
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:42, archived)
# I'd like to see
Fluffy's first appearance.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:47, archived)
# here:
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:49, archived)
# Thank
you!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 12:01, archived)
# that film
better had exist
ive been sold it by the poster
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:25, archived)
# Well, in my mind it does.
Tarentino has done a poor copy of whats in my mind, so it may be ok.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:28, archived)
# I know it's not the done thing but...........
aI need some potatoeshop help. A friend has asked me to put his girlfriends head on a large breasted topless body but I can't get the colurs of the face to match the body colour and it looks really shit.

If any b3tsand feel in a generous mood today and fancy doing me a favour I would be deeply indebted to you.

Please mail me at jason at dialus dot net and I can send the piccy of the girlfriend over.

I will be recieving free beers for this and I will endevour to pass them on at the next b3ta bash.

Fanks.

Jason
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:23, archived)
# blah blah blah
bitches?!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:23, archived)
# oh
dear.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:24, archived)
# ooh!
gazelle!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:24, archived)
# oooh!
Gnu!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:25, archived)
# ahhh!
wallaby
damnit
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:25, archived)
# Damn!
marsupials trump grazers :(
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:28, archived)
# in that case i raise you a
kangeroo
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:29, archived)
# My last card is a
Pigeon - lowest of the lot. you win!


I fuckin hate Pigeons.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# whoot!
:P
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:36, archived)
# sounds painful
i get farts like that
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:30, archived)
# arf
8¬D
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# That sounds absolutely
hilarious.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:24, archived)
# Anyway,
Image->Adjust->Colour Balance. If you can't do it with that, then you're some sort of retard.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:25, archived)
# oh be fluffy
you grumpy chuffnut
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:27, archived)
# Fuck off.
I told him how to do it. I could just have called him a cunt.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:28, archived)
# alright alright
i spose you did try.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:30, archived)
# that is fluffy
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:29, archived)
# Couldn't your mate
just take a picture of his girlfriend with her own baps out?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:24, archived)
# hah!
only someone with a filthy mind would think of such a thing
*ahem*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:25, archived)
# sounds
a reasonable request....:)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:27, archived)
# As long as he posts the image on here.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:28, archived)
# yes...
more norks....
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:31, archived)
# Why doesn'yt he just get her pregnent, and take a photo of her with her top off?
That would solve all your problems.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:24, archived)
# WANK IT!
WANK IT HARD!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:24, archived)
# why doesn't your mate
just take a picture of his girlfriend naked?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:24, archived)
# has your friend tried
beer goggles?

;)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:24, archived)
# b3tsand?
???
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:25, archived)
# thats what you get on the b3tbeach!
:)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:28, archived)
# try a different model
or try and fill the body with a very transparent shade of skin colour to match.

play around.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:25, archived)
# Helpful advice removed
due to ungrateful bastard.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:26, archived)
# really wanna see those fingers
*waggles finger*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:28, archived)
# Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I know it's not nice to ask anyone to be a potatoeshop bitch.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:26, archived)
# what you need to do is
go to your nearest DIY store and buy some paint the same colour as the skin of the naked woman in the photo. ~Then paint your mates girl's face, then take the photo again.

Simple
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:26, archived)
# hahahahaha
helpful, and informative :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:28, archived)
# if you're sticking
the head on as another layer, you should just be able to play around with the rgb colour levels, the brightness and contrast, and the hue and saturation on that layer. Or that works for animal headswaps anyway. I imagine it works on people as well.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:27, archived)
# It does,
see my post...which has been ignored.
BAH!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:29, archived)
# i noticed it
and i thought 'what a lovely helpful chap that bovine is'
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:34, archived)
# At least someone
did, Mr Stuffer didn't.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:34, archived)
#
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:32, archived)
# hee hee!
yay!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:38, archived)
# Ha ha ha
That's brilliant!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:39, archived)
# THANKS GUYS AND GIRLS
Having a play with the layers and colours now.

Thanks again.

Yay.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:56, archived)
# It soon became apparent ...................
the Director was a little too ahead of his time!!



My first post, very quickly done sorry
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:19, archived)
# Nice debut!
Welcome :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:19, archived)
# That's impressive lurking by the way.
Happy b3ta birthday for a month and a half ago :/
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:20, archived)
# hmm
they don't teach maths up north do they? :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:22, archived)
# eh?
;)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:23, archived)
# bah!
*shakes fist*
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:26, archived)
# arf! thats very good
mr uber-lurker
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:20, archived)
# *applause*
verrrrr good!

(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:20, archived)
# COMP IT!
quick :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:21, archived)
# woo I remember that
it had Nicole Kidman in it
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:21, archived)
# Indeed it did.
It can be caught about once every 6 months on a Saturdy afternoon on either ITV 1 or channel 5. Always worth a look I find.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:22, archived)
# of all the action photograph's i've taken
this is the best:
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:11, archived)
# Whoooa!
thats very cool!

woosicles to you.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:12, archived)
# that sir
is very woo
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:12, archived)
# good work with the shadows
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:13, archived)
# Ugh!
I hate them.

Gotta go, my 11:30 filth session is coming up.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:18, archived)
# ta ra.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:19, archived)
# BUT
IS IT REAL?????
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:13, archived)
# no shark.........
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:13, archived)
# the irony is
he photoshopped out a shark from a real pic
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:15, archived)
# The other day we were discussing how we wanted our bodies to be disposed of after we die
I quite fancy being chucked in the sea. I then came up with the idea of using my body as shark bait. I think this is a great idea, my family could jet off to the Caribbean, pay their respects and then watch a feeding frenzy, the like of which they'd never have seen without me.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:21, archived)
# They could always pop to the London Aquarium
and scatter you amongst the easter island headed shark (etc) tank, then they could come back and visit.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:24, archived)
# They don't get the holiday then though...
But more people would be able to watch, maybe they could earn a bob or two.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:25, archived)
# maybe just the head then in the Aquarium
the rest can be a private family affair.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:29, archived)
# Nice, I like the way you think.
There was a history program on the other day where whatever old corpse they were talking about was buried in Westminster, but his heart was buried out in the countryside near where he was born.
Bit grim, but a nice idea.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:31, archived)
# And you thought
YOU were having a bad day!!!! LOL ROLF the MAYO guy!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:16, archived)
# the fur looks wet
amazing work woo yay
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:13, archived)
# skill!
great work!

morning all!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:14, archived)
# if your planning a sponsored skydive
dont do it over the sea (see above picture)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:15, archived)
# yay!
:)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:17, archived)
# that
tis fabulous. Best thing on the board so far today by miles
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:19, archived)
# that's a very opinonated
opinion
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:20, archived)
# well what can i say
I likes seeing a big wet pussy attacking a frightened man
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:28, archived)
# well shopped
can we see the originals?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:25, archived)
# thats fecking
ace!!!!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:44, archived)
# "I know, I know!!"
The other kids were getting annoyed with the class swot



Click for biggy
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:08, archived)
# aw.
adorable.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:11, archived)
# fluffy ickle
ball of cute gorgeousness
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:14, archived)
# isn't it great to see
photoshopped kittens? :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:17, archived)
# photoshopped?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:18, archived)
# Tampered with
in Photoshop.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:23, archived)
# i want a kitten of my very own
:(
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:23, archived)
# aww!
so fluffy.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:13, archived)
# Aww
clever pussy :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:15, archived)
[challenge entry] Guarantee to give you a fright…


(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:06, archived)
# Hooray for Harold Lloyd
da da da da da da da da etc
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:07, archived)
# Who?
Who the fuck is he?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:07, archived)
#
www.haroldlloyd.com/
No, haven't a clue, either.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:08, archived)
# The First Action Hero
:)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:09, archived)
# Exactly.
Not funny AT ALL.

Oh look, he's hanging from a big clock. AGAIN!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:09, archived)
# mornin' Dawn
haven't seen you about for a while
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:11, archived)
# Well I've been busy getting myself in totally mintcondition!
I have been allowing rich old men to filth me up for cash.

I now have a computer which can show you what you'd look like with different weaves. It's made such a difference!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:15, archived)
# what about
slightly less rich b3ta board members? do we get to filth you up any?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:17, archived)
# but did you see anyone else
hanging from big clocks those days? he was a pioneer!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:11, archived)
# most people
couldn't find the time
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:14, archived)
# Oh GAHD!
HE WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHIT!

Charlie Drake was funnier.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:14, archived)
# You, sir,
Have no soul.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:11, archived)
# Hooray for Harold Lloyd!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:07, archived)
# HL is a cock-sucking dead mutha-fucker.
With no bling.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:09, archived)
# what did harold
do to you then? this hate must stem from somewhere...
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:12, archived)
# Just a
pair of glasses and a smile da-da-da-da daaa!
Seemed to be on telly all the time when I was growing up "and look what herold's doing now!!!!" (in the same voice as that irritating shit off The Planet's Feeeerniest Enimuls"
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:13, archived)
# Exactly! THINK ABOUT IT!
He is a man from the past where having fun was practically eliminated from peoples' lives.

Why do you think everything was in black & white?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:16, archived)
# considerably funnier
than "the planet's funniest animals".
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:18, archived)
# I can't believe that there are people
that don't know know who Harold Lloyd is... he was on BBC2 about seven times a day right the way through my childhood.

And before you start, Moore, they were repeats!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:16, archived)
# Go Harold!!
I used to love that programme!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:09, archived)
# You must be a retard then.
And I should know.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:10, archived)
# I used to watch it
but I'm buggered if I know why
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:18, archived)
# He's setting the cabaret world alight!


EDIT: Thought I'd give him some sidewise action!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:00, archived)
# hehehe
nice hat!
wooo
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:01, archived)
# He's got one legs missing,
how does he get around?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:02, archived)
# hopping
mad he is...
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:02, archived)
# maybe he
could borrow one of these guys
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:08, archived)
# in circles
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:03, archived)
# oooh noooo heeee
haaaaasn't
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:03, archived)
# I see that now,
I was quoting a song from Meet the Feebles.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:04, archived)
# How many legs
does he need????
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:04, archived)
# depends if he lives
in France I suppose!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:09, archived)
# Oui
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:14, archived)
# No he hasn't
He's got the full froggy complement of legs. Look closely, glasshopper.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:04, archived)
# Terrible!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:05, archived)
# considering :
I hate frogs and I don't like dancing.

I am enjoying watching the little green sucker strut his funky stuff.

very good.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:04, archived)
# Hello my baby!
hello my darling
hello my rag time gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalll!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:07, archived)
# Throw out your tails
Stick out your tush
Hands on your hips
Give 'em a push
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:13, archived)
# What the
heck is that from?
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:15, archived)
# The Camden Rubbish-Cart operators Manual
Page 3
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:19, archived)
# Blazing Saddles
"Excuse me while I whip this out"
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:21, archived)
# yaroo
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:07, archived)
# would have helped
that film was unremittingly tedious
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:09, archived)
# it was pretty
damn dull, yes.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:22, archived)
# What the legends don't mention is
that for every beautiful mermaid of the ocean,
...there is a "less appealing" sister.
Yes... I know you would - with both.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 10:59, archived)
# ha ha
splendid :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:00, archived)
# I know
that one at the top is minging.

Woo!
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:01, archived)
# very excellently done
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:01, archived)
# the ALT text
is (mostly) for you.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:03, archived)
# hahaha
:D
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:05, archived)
# hehe
nice :)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:02, archived)
# Bet she's got a fishy vag.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:03, archived)
# you would
though...

;)
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:08, archived)
# ha ha ha
reminds me of a red dwarf episode.
(, Thu 4 Sep 2003, 11:05, archived)

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