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We've hit the motherload! Gateaux Seam!

(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:55, archived)

is that.....it is, isn't it?

it's a CHOCOLATE ROSE!!!
*drools copiously*
*drowns miners*
NOOOOOOOO! THE PRECIOUS IS DISSOLVING IN SPITTLE!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:56, archived)

I found chocolate ani yesterday.

Well, I didn't, the internets did and then told me about it. Proper nice chocolate too, made by some ridiculously expensive company.

Want.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:01, archived)

have you tried

those new cream egg twisters? they're nicer than they should be!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:04, archived)

Oooooh no, wossem then?

Hold that thought, ciggy time.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:05, archived)

they're actually called creme egg twisted.

the chocolate is really thick, like a real cream egg, but IT'S A BAR.
the wrappers look a lot like the old spira wrappers.
*looks at twisted wrapper on desk*
they really are very tasty.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:10, archived)

I found them a bit sickly

But mine was half melted. I've put one in the fridge so I can have it when it's a bit firmer

(3 for £1 in Iceland)

(

Joliet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:13, archived)

are they???

why the hell did i go to asda yesterday? if i'd gone to the strand like i usually do, i'd have lots of them now!
i'd be about £20 worse off, too, but that's beside the point.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:18, archived)

:-( Chocolate doesn't like me any more.

Like aspirin to Bruce Lee.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:13, archived)

a friend of mine

brought me a jar of chocolate sauce from Fortnum & Mason. i was most disappointed with it.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:16, archived)

I love chocolate.

I can't believe it's fallen out with me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:17, archived)

i never used to bother with it

i only developed a sweet tooth about 6 years ago, so i'm making up for lost time!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:20, archived)

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:22, archived)

i can demolish

a giant thornton's easter egg in 10 minutes

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:27, archived)

Might just be me, but,

did I detect a hint of orange flavour within the orange within the cream egg bar?

If so I didn't like it and am in fear that the same mutation may have occurred within the egg.

If not, carry on.

(

Gregor Lenko There's a tree..., Wed 21 May 2008, 15:27, archived)

i tasted no orange

and i've eaten 4 of them so far this week.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:32, archived)

Looks like the tomb of Tootancomein

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:57, archived)

that torte to keep them busy for a while...

/sorry. And a woo to the pic.

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:57, archived)

life's hard in the gateaux

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:01, archived)

That's another song ruined

I already sing "In the ghetto" in the voice of Cartman

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:03, archived)

hahahahaha!

so do i :)

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:05, archived)

I hate you Kenny

because you're poor

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:07, archived)

screw you guys, i'm going home.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:08, archived)

Hehe

(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:06, archived)

Just because a face like that needs to be mocked

(duff-paddy, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:47, archived)

Haha, this made me grin!

Nice username too...

(

TY&GN, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:48, archived)

this image is rather large

but quite woosome.
nice username, by the way. :D

edit: now small and still woo!

_{like my penis if my penis was woo}

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:48, archived)

Oops, I'll shrink it.....

...a bit moar

(duff-paddy, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:50, archived)

yeah

when saving in photoshop click save for web that way you can control the quality and get the size down. Of course the physical dimensions help too.

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:52, archived)

beware! nazis!

*runs*

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:48, archived)

I think we're in the presence of the fluffiest flaming ever seen on b3ta...

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:53, archived)

careful now

fluff + flames = blazes,
and then you get Blazin' Squad,
and then you need a Gentle Persuader to stop them from 'performing'.

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:56, archived)

I favour the classic

firm rebuttal

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:58, archived)

yeah

I think I got away with that one.

(duff-paddy, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:57, archived)

*stabs*

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:19, archived)

i wish she was one

of the dead

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:49, archived)

avoid trips to the us after that post

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:52, archived)

i don't go to america

i would be the cause of a serious international incident if i did ;)

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:53, archived)

haha

*takes note incase of reward*

(

Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:57, archived)

*changes appearance*

*buys passport in the name of emily berkenstein*

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:01, archived)

nice..shame about the file size

[edit]

woo yay

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:49, archived)

Cool

but www.lemony.co.uk/optimisation is your friend

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:50, archived)

Excellent

P.S. we aim to keep still images close to 50k so feel free to save with a bit more compression :)

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:51, archived)

FUCK!!!!!!!!! A NOOB WHO ACTUALLY RESIZES?!?!?!?!?!?!

(fuckchutney is wanking in your hair, nnngh nnngggh NNNGGGHGHGH, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:54, archived)

Heh

Thought I'd break with tradition.

(duff-paddy, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:54, archived)

and bloody glad you did too, welcome, pull up a kitten, shop a paedo.......

(fuckchutney is wanking in your hair, nnngh nnngggh NNNGGGHGHGH, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:13, archived)

Sorry !

Image size sorted now :)

(duff-paddy, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:54, archived)

well done

pull up a shop and kitten a chair

You'll never leave.

(

chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:56, archived)

hurrah! :)

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:56, archived)

YOU'RE OUR WIFE NOW.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:58, archived)

DAVE!

hehehehe

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:01, archived)

HELLO, DAVE!

he is funny and very, very creepy!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:06, archived)

*hugs*

Woo!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:08, archived)

Hahahah, welcome, noob!

(

ClanSoul, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:56, archived)

shut up noob :P

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:57, archived)

Quit your mouth, elder.

(

wheelybird mreee!, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:58, archived)

FUCK YOU

IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING
IT'S TOO BIG
IT'S TOO BROWN
I DON'T LIKE THAT FONT

'Noon sir.

(

ClanSoul, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:58, archived)

if it's too big and too brown

eat more corn.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:59, archived)

*waves*

*middle finger*

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:01, archived)

Heheh

(

ClanSoul, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:02, archived)

you're good

i like you

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:58, archived)

Crackin' work, sir

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:00, archived)

3 days old.

And already more popular than me.

Damn you photoshop.

*Comfort eats.*

(Dok Zombie Cash, gash, pie and mash., Wed 21 May 2008, 15:05, archived)

ZOmbies ALWAYSD Win!!!!

have a *click* lovely new person

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:59, archived)

Have a 300 byte Bill Bailey!

(

PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:35, archived)

awesome!

*edit - I liked it smaller :)

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:35, archived)

It was never larger...

Hold on, you've got something in your eye--

HYPNOSIS!

(

PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:37, archived)

look into my eyes not around the eyes into my eyes

...

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:39, archived)

ze money is in ze eyes

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:42, archived)

Ze monkey is in ze eyes

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:45, archived)

pff

you are a nonsense.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:46, archived)

Smaaaaaaaaaaaaaash

(

ClanSoul, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:48, archived)

claaaaaaan!

i been making hanging baskets!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:49, archived)

Heheh, I've been searching for source images.

I'm going to 'shop something tonight!

I managed to get my friend's mum to take me home from school an hour early today.

(

ClanSoul, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:52, archived)

lucky you!

did you fake sick?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:00, archived)

Nope, I had science last, and Richard was going home anyway.

Seeing as I have finished science, all the coursework, the exam, everything, I just went home.

(

ClanSoul, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:03, archived)

good job.

school is an evilness that must be tolerated

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:07, archived)

With a big one

Click for bigger (83KB)

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:49, archived)

0_0

your tongue has ruffles!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:50, archived)

Ribbed

For added sensitivity

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:51, archived)

if you carry on talking like that

you'll get a good spanking!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:02, archived)

unclean

we must burn you

(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:09, archived)

I remember once...

A doctor told me that if you got those teeth indents on your tongue, it meant something.

Something like you have stomach problems... or something. I dont know I cant remember.

But you should go see your doctor.

(Kaplaaah Wasting time on the net since 1994., Wed 21 May 2008, 16:30, archived)

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:36, archived)

Yays!

I used to live near he. He always gave me evil bogs for no apparant reason when I passed him in the street.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:37, archived)

Evil bogs?

I've known a few of them in my time

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:39, archived)

heh i nearly ran him over once

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:41, archived)

I once did almost get run over by John Pervie!

Almost killed by Worsil Gummage!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:45, archived)

Twice, I have had the chance to run over Adam Hart-Davis

y'know, that arse that does "What the victorians/romans did for us".

Twice.

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:49, archived)

I like him

Does science with humour. Niiice

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:52, archived)

Well, just for you i'll try not to run him over if I see him a 3rd time

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:55, archived)

I know he lived near you.

he lived next door to me and you lived near me. Bogs?

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:42, archived)

That looks like it was shopped by bloody indians

and other such "innocent phrases taken out of context"

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:02, archived)

maybe you got dressed up as a dingoe

and stole his baby

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:46, archived)

\o/

That's brill!

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:38, archived)

JarJar?

(Your watch is still saving for 5K but has learnt about 'nose bondage', Wed 21 May 2008, 14:39, archived)

Helloooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

(fuckchutney is wanking in your hair, nnngh nnngggh NNNGGGHGHGH, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:39, archived)

I'm not sure thats big enough

IT NEEDS MORE POWERRRRrrrRRR!

(

PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:40, archived)

needs more Bill Bailey

(

Weetobix, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:41, archived)

oh great, now he's going to motherfucking destroy tokyo

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:41, archived)

somebody, please, think of the sushi!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:44, archived)

*thinks about sushi

*hungers are not helped

:-(

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:46, archived)

if it's any help I had a sandwich half an hour ago

IT WAS A REALLY NICE SANDWICH

which I had to have because of my feeling hungry

ahh, there's nothing like a nice tasty bit of TASTY FOOD when you have to eat something

three yums for yummy food!

YUM!! YUM!!! YUM!!!

:D

tasty

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:48, archived)

mmmmmmmm

smoked salmon nigiri with pickled ginger and wasabi, SoCal rolls, hosomaki rolls....

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:48, archived)

oh, I'm being somewhat traditional today

casserole, tasty casserole with steak and a mixture of vegetables

tho it has to be said, I was well in the mood for a succulent pork chop in rich onion gravy with some nice boiled potatoes still in the skins and maybe a bit of roasted carrot because that's nice too

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:50, archived)

I had chilli

homemade and reheated at work. But there's never enough anything, ever.

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:51, archived)

indeed, there isn't enough of anything

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:53, archived)

i wish i had

another of the barbecue steak and mozzarella pizza i had last night. i guess i'll have to settle for tuna mayo salad pittas instead.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:53, archived)

I'm just about to

have pilchards on toats ( in tomato sauce )

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:57, archived)

It looks a lot less

like Gordon the Gopher when it's that size.

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:41, archived)

yay!

he is an awesomeness.

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:40, archived)

Hello Mrs Monkey

You're looking Hot today

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:41, archived)

i'm looking hot every day

i'm just naturally hot

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:42, archived)

Applys Ice

Followed by eyes

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:46, archived)

ooooh!

my nipples are cold now!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:57, archived)

that could be anyone!

but I'll still give you a click anyway.

(

Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:40, archived)

You don't have to, you know

This isn't cccp3ta.ru

(

PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:43, archived)

Paint Baileys!

(

Ttssattsr, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:43, archived)

that is woosome

I especilaly like the shading

(

PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:46, archived)

Ta! Yours is ace too. I did a similar thing a while back.

(

Ttssattsr, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:47, archived)

coming soon to the zx spectrum

billy b's adventure!

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:52, archived)

How to be a complete Bill Bailey?

(

Weetobix, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:54, archived)

superb

woo

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:46, archived)

:D Have a Paint Beadle then!

(

Ttssattsr, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:49, archived)

thanks, but no thanks

*shudders*

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:55, archived)

quack

(Captain Black, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:31, archived)

SPANG!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:31, archived)

I FIND THIS HIGHLY OFFENSIVE!

well done

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

good lord

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

oh dear

:)

I've got 10 minutes to fill, name a superhero and I'll draw it (may take longer than 10 minutes)

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

Hah, please do Rev Jesse Custer

*predictable*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:39, archived)

errr, which comic is he from?

8 minutes have passed, I'm not going to fit this in now

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:40, archived)

Preacher.

Never mind. *pats on head*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:41, archived)

ah, never read Preacher

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:45, archived)

Shame.

I like it. Well, I say like, bum'd be a better word.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:46, archived)

Preacher was ace.

I re-read the whole lot about a year ago. It was still ace.

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:48, archived)

It's not lost anything.

*is rereading at the moment*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:50, archived)

re-read recently.

still need a bloody job for my tat :(

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:59, archived)

Cerebus the Aardvark! *

*may not contain superness or heroness but still...

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:42, archived)

Or Spider Jerusalem

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:43, archived)

i like your taste in comic books

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:00, archived)

qwackin'

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:34, archived)

I canard approve of this

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:34, archived)

My word... I like the cut of his bill.

Sharp dresser too

(

The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:34, archived)

spooky

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:35, archived)

Wooky? Edit: I see we both commonly use the expression, "My word" Do you also utter "Hello!" as an expression of suprise?

(

The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:38, archived)

My Word!

Please accept this *SPANG* as a reward.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:35, archived)

yay ducks!

I'm currently playing dad to 12 fuzzy ducklings.

(Your watch is still saving for 5K but has learnt about 'nose bondage', Wed 21 May 2008, 14:38, archived)

sweet!

do you get the urge to pick them up and rub them on the side of your face?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:39, archived)

yes. i'm very tempted indeed

i picked them up only once to move them, and it was the fluffiest thing ever!

(Your watch is still saving for 5K but has learnt about 'nose bondage', Wed 21 May 2008, 14:43, archived)

*glees*

i couldn't resist something like that!

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:46, archived)

with Plum sauce n pancakes

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:50, archived)

source picture made me do it

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:27, archived)

haha aaaargh

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:27, archived)

hahahaha!

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:31, archived)

thats brilliant :)

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:31, archived)

Samara or Yoko?

It's a hard choice...Samara will kill you in an unspeakable way, but at least she didnt split up the Beatles.

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

the Beatles would have split up anyway

(

Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:35, archived)

NO WAY MAAAAN!!!

NO WAY

yes, most probably

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:37, archived)

The Beatles are dying in the wrong order.

100% fact.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:37, archived)

Oh well

they're only two bullets away from a reunion

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:41, archived)

Hahahaha

Genius!

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:33, archived)

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:36, archived)

HAHAHA!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:36, archived)

hahahaha

that is fantastic

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:09, archived)

hahaha

oooo don't make my laugh so,my lungs can't take it

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:29, archived)

Does it last for seven days?

Side effects: You may be found dead in a wardrobe after screaming yourself to death

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:29, archived)

*watches Mannequin*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:31, archived)

*mannequin watches back*

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

Kim Catrall

Would of

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:34, archived)

No you wouldn't.

You would HAVE.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:35, archived)

Grammar Nazi

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:37, archived)

There are much worse.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:37, archived)

True

gran'pa Nazi Josef for instance

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:38, archived)

If any of my grandparents are Nazis

that's going to be a long and convoluted explanation.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:40, archived)

food standards nazis?

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:39, archived)

The attempting-to-take-over-the-world-kill-all-jews-and-build-a-master-race Nazis

were pretty bad too.

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:41, archived)

those guys were very naughty

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:43, archived)

depends

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:43, archived)

health and safety Nazis

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:41, archived)

Family Guy fans unite

quick, do the special Family Guy handshake

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:33, archived)

Simpsons Fans Untie

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:34, archived)

Pfft!

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:37, archived)

Mmmmmmm -Kim Catrall when she was young but couldn't act.

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:34, archived)

as opposed to old

And couldn't act

I must take umbrage and refer you to "porky's" her finest hour I think you'll find

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:37, archived)

Are you trying to claim that she

(or indeed anybody) managed to do good acting in that movie?

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:39, archived)

She put in a fine performance in that filum

to this day I can't think of mens locker rooms without thinking about "lassie"

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:45, archived)

Hahaha

great.

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

Thought I'd just pop this here. I thought I'd finish it off so I could close tattyshop.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:21, archived)

It's

Abuse the Queen Wednesday! :D

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:24, archived)

Abuse the Queen EVERYDAY!

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:25, archived)

yes

she can give as good as she gets

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:26, archived)

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:27, archived)

The old ones are the best ones...

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:28, archived)

haha!

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:29, archived)

hahahahaha!

Alcoholic-numpty-land doesn't quite have the same ring

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:30, archived)

*Replies*

(

JollyJack - a stench from the past, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

*glees*

*asks about the London bash*

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:37, archived)

(

JollyJack - a stench from the past, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:30, archived)

yikes

that makes me feel a little uneasy.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

Yeah!

Fuck May!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:26, archived)

She's a fairly stout old bird, she can take it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:27, archived)

What goes in and out and smells of wee?

Queen doing the hokey kokey!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:28, archived)

Oh UNNECESSARY.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:29, archived)

Captain!

Guess who I'm going to see this november!

(

ClanSoul, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:31, archived)

Lenin?

Kate Bush?
Chesney Hawkes?
Dr John?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

None of the above.

I'm only going to see The Mighty Boosh!

(

ClanSoul, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:34, archived)

So am I

albeit in October.

Which one are you going to?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:35, archived)

This one

www.plymouthpavilions.com/events/details.asp?act=789

(

ClanSoul, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:43, archived)

aha

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:44, archived)

aha?

(

ClanSoul, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:50, archived)

is it?

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:28, archived)

Lol

Could I pee this film poster here?

(Capitan Last night a BJ choked my wife, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:26, archived)

too soon...

pfft

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

i always

come to soon

wait did i just type that

(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Wed 21 May 2008, 15:11, archived)

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:27, archived)

Hahaha

I did do one about 5 years ago for The Quo:P

'ningles fella.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:28, archived)

noon chap

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:30, archived)

(

JollyJack - a stench from the past, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:15, archived)

I love knockers!

......

(

XLVII .uk, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:16, archived)

all we need now is a double decker bus and a time machine to 1973

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:20, archived)

and

the reanimated, rotting corpse of Sid James

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:23, archived)

a huaaa huaaa huaaa huaaaa huaaaa BRAINS

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:25, archived)

Nah, just get run over by a car and end up in a coma. 1973 - Voila!

Works every time - I saw this documentary on it narrated by John Simm, it was great.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:25, archived)

could happen

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:30, archived)

Hmm

But you could end up in 1981 with Keely Hawes

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:48, archived)

Is that Urine

that bought Scarlet from Pip?

Woo!
Hurray!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:16, archived)

Nope

didn't understand any of that

(

Weetobix, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:19, archived)

he had hair

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:26, archived)

Look into the artwork of one Charles Addams.

(

JollyJack - a stench from the past, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:26, archived)

"I'll give you a brand new light bulb if you let us photograph your knocker"

(

Joliet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:17, archived)

pssst... joliet

I'll give you a brand new light bulb if you let me photograph your knockers *filthy old man winks*

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:27, archived)

yay!

reminds me of the waiter in the simpsons:

'yeeeeeeesss?'
'why do you talk like that?'
'I had a stroooooooke'

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:17, archived)

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:23, archived)

hehe :)

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:33, archived)

there was someone at my last work that looked JUST like Fester...

...she wasn't a particularly nice person either

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:23, archived)

He looks a friendly chap!

What's that, Fester? You'd like to pick my brain for an hour or two? I'd be delighted!

(

notmoro and mrnotmoro : formerly Ishamael and his Missus, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:26, archived)

Yay!

Fester, old boy, how have you been?

(

kitty minion Babies ate my dingo!, Wed 21 May 2008, 16:24, archived)

GREAT SCOTT!

It's the token Christopher Llyod / Uncle Fester impersinator.

(cenaris Is dividing 3 by waffle, Wed 21 May 2008, 20:14, archived)

The tongue will hypnotise you!

(DoKtor Midnight Hour has finally discovered secret to sexy vector art!, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:03, archived)

nice

(

Dr. Strange Now Fully ISO 3103 Compliant!, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:05, archived)

what what?

(Soupy Twist BEST BEFORE:, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:09, archived)

(

XLVII .uk, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:11, archived)

Aieee!

(

notmoro and mrnotmoro : formerly Ishamael and his Missus, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:28, archived)

my tongues as long as his

fact

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:06, archived)

pictures

or it ain't so

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:06, archived)

hang on i'll try and find my camera

ashally my tongues a bit shorter, but still very very long

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:10, archived)

My tongue is shorter but very wide.

and I can breathe through my ears

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:17, archived)

I demand pictures!

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:18, archived)

i can't find the damn camera i'm afraid.

the closest i can find on my puter is me goatse-ing my face but the just shows off the size of my mouth rather than the length of my tongue

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:21, archived)

here you go

Click for bigger (83KB)

(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

As long as his what exactly?

(

XLVII .uk, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:07, archived)

As long as his fact.

That's what he said.

(

kinks rock over London, rock on Chicago, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:10, archived)

BLAAAAAAAAARRB!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:10, archived)

pffft

blaaaarb is infecting the board, like a virus..

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:11, archived)

Here's looking at spew, kid.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:00, archived)

Ha! :D

(Paper 'n Pencil Thirst is excellent, even better than I hoped, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:03, archived)

hahaha!

Incredible!

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:04, archived)

Nicely, nicely and thrice nicely!

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:04, archived)

hahaha, your mind truly works in wonderous ways

your mind truly works in wonderous ways

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:06, archived)

*spangs Archie into oblivion*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:07, archived)

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:07, archived)

hehe, I liked it too

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:40, archived)

Brilliant

((Ingrid Bergman + Time Machine) + Isabella Rossellini)/me = Phwoar!

(

Brandy_Bumwinkle, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:11, archived)

Now, *that's* what Applied Mathematics is for.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:13, archived)

Hehehe

Ace!

(

XLVII .uk, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:12, archived)

Actually

That wouldn't be a half bad anti-drinking ad.

(Potatoman, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:20, archived)

Ace!

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:26, archived)

hahaha

given time and technology

I fear this could be done :D

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:29, archived)

Quick and dirty, because i've not done one in a while.

and I still got bored mid way through. (Just ignore the mouth area. The rest is OK).

CFB (B=Blog)

(

ArghZombies No longer has a Leaky QUIM, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:43, archived)

gah!

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:44, archived)

I'm OOOOOOOOOOOLD GREEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGG

(

Victor Meldrew, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:45, archived)

I've got a Manginaaaaaa

Love games?
Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me?
I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need your love a lot
Oh come on now
Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me?
I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need your love a lot
Oh come on now
Moving too fast, this isn't a race ooh
Baby back off and lower the pace now
Slow it down, and give me some space, mmmh
Moving too fast, this isn't a race. ah ah
*funky music insert*
Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me?
I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need your love a lot
Oh come on now
Moving too fast this isn't a race ooooh
Will you back off and lower the pace now?
Slow it down, and give me some place.
Moving too fast this isn't a race.
I'm Old Gregg
I know I think you said
Come on don't make me beg now
'cause I'm not your regular guy
don't be shy
do you love me.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:47, archived)

what the fuck are you doing?

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:50, archived)

words.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:51, archived)

I thought you hated the boosh

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:52, archived)

I do.

I just copied some words from some place frequented by studenty geeks.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:54, archived)

the things you learn whilst grooming eh?

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:55, archived)

/talk?

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:02, archived)

Ha!

nice one Archie...

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:02, archived)

arf.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:09, archived)

AAAARGH!

KILL IT! KILL IT WITH SPORKING SPOONS!

*fucking hates Old Greg. It creeps her, the fuck, out!*

(

Joliet, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:46, archived)

This, except not Old Gregg.

The Crack Fox, however....

*shivers*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:47, archived)

I spend most of the Boosh

with my face hidden behind a pillow.

(

Joliet, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:51, archived)

Are you very ickle?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:55, archived)

Nope

But I have HUUUUUUGE cushions.

(

Joliet, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:06, archived)

hmmmm, why not.....

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:51, archived)

for some reason

to me it looks like howard dressed up as old gregg.

but it's still WOO!

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:55, archived)

They're not bloody dead

I heard them having sex when I came home last night.

Was very tempted to shout through the keyhole "GET IN THERE MY SON!" but thought against it.

Edit: Did the random thread creator delete their own thread or was it a Mod edit?

(

Joliet, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:45, archived)

Really nice though.

You know exactly where to leave it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:47, archived)

Heh, you do love your zombies!

I remember watching the Video Dead (mentioned on your page). Doesn't one of them get a steam iron in the head?

(

Smallbrainfield, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:48, archived)

Oh yes.

That's a well daft film, but pretty cool none the less.

(

ArghZombies No longer has a Leaky QUIM, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:51, archived)

Nice

Houseparty of the Dead 4 coming soon :)

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:49, archived)

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:52, archived)

Milk and two sugars, please

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:54, archived)

Would you like a boil with that?

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:58, archived)

ooooOOOooo!

yes please!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:03, archived)

Ghost Story dead body FTW!!!

*geek*

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:25, archived)

I've got that movie!!

Old VHS lying around somewhere.
It's funny in a cheap, 80's way. Especially all the zombie film references.

(

Evil_Badger isn't really evil, but is a badger., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:53, archived)

Films that do all that referencing other films usually annoy me,

but this one did it kinda well.

Did you know the budget came from Sam Raimi's Evil Dead 2 salary? He exec produced it and added some voices to it I believe.

(

ArghZombies No longer has a Leaky QUIM, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:58, archived)

That I did not know.

You are the zombie master and your blog's wicked.
Braindead is my favorite zombie film ever, but I've always wanted to see Zombie Flesh Eaters as I've heard soooo many good things about it.

(

Evil_Badger isn't really evil, but is a badger., Wed 21 May 2008, 14:15, archived)

'ning b3ta

is it zombie shift?

(

discomeats This canoe, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:00, archived)

afternoon politics

morphing by hand is bloody hard btw

previously
www.b3tards.com/u/f9d89e8a11037c5bd200/becoming-a-liberal.gif

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:39, archived)

Ooh, cutting!

You are Rory Bremner

AICMFP

(

Joliet, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:41, archived)

what a compliment :)

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:58, archived)

Indeed.

See also Levy, Mandelson, Martin, etc etc etc

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:42, archived)

That's the problem with the youth

they have no recollection of Thatcher's Britain.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:42, archived)

i haven't even started on the tories yet

at least thatchers lot never pretended to care about the rest of society. there's little that irks me as much as student socialists from middle class families

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:43, archived)

*hugs*

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:45, archived)

Bloody hell, yeah

Uni was full of trustafarians, bunch of cahnts, the lot of them.

*gets all arsy about the fact that I held down 2 jobs all the way through uni and still came out in debt*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:46, archived)

I used to end up paying

for the beer most days. That included my favourite lecturer, Colin, too. Nobody seemed to have a pot to piss in at my Uni.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:50, archived)

'Brian' the drug dealer

actually made enough from his ill-gotten gains to buy himself a feckin BMW.

The utter bastard.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:52, archived)

my dealer is a lovely little socialist chap

he's also on the student union council :)

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:54, archived)

I had endless fun with the Student politicks crowd at Uni

I looked after the vote count, and the Layburrr gits got really uptight about not being able to rig it their way.

I always vote Labour, but the fatheaded morons at uni were just unbearable

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:57, archived)

*backs away carefully*

i go to student election hustings drunk and heckle the communist students candidates :) if there's one thing that riles me more than socialists its bloody commies.

my girlfriends housemates is part of the Women's Lib at uni and never have i seen a sorrier organisation. i went along to there debate once and joined in, rather that getting sensible thought through responses they called me sexist and chauvinist. all because i asked why they thought they needed women only swimming sessions if they wanted equality? meh

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:02, archived)

haha.

I had a BMW at Uni. in fact I've had one since I was 18 ( not the same one ).

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:54, archived)

I had my lovely ever-reliable imported VW Golf

purchased in Holland for the equivalent of half a sherbet fountain.

I loved that car.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:59, archived)

I actually used to drive to Uni

in this.

which I built myself.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:05, archived)

Top Work, that man!!!!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:07, archived)

Dear b3ta,

I thought I was the only one who noticed these cunts. Fanstastic.

I was constantly raging because all of my friends loved this utter cunt and wouldnt hear a bad word against him, just fell for his charm.

Most depressing when the girl I loved went out with him for 9 months.

I don't know why I'm writing this letter ~~Deirdre~~ b3ta, it was many years ago, and I've since realised that she was a cunt too. I must be looking for closure, or something. Maybe I'm just horny.

Yours,

Dave

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:50, archived)

i need a job so badly at uni

the bash is going to wipe me clean out for money :s

thing is, i'm from a comfortable middleclass family and i was privately educated, it really pisses me off when i meet people who've had the same luck that i have and who go on about it being "a bloody shame that we've had so many benefits when no one else has isn't it?". actually fucking no, we were very lucky and some people aren't, if there's a petition going round to equalize society i'll sign it but i'm not going to feel embaressed about my upbringing because student culture says so.

/rant over

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:51, archived)

I'll buy you some drinks.

Don't feel bad for having it easier than some, just recognise that you're lucky (which it appers you do). I went to a school populated by people who were much posher than I am, and whose families all had much more money- it really made no difference when it came to sheer nouse.

Maybe I didn't get what you said. I don't know. Shut up, Fae.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:55, archived)

thats my point

my housemate is from walton in liverpool. poorest family ever, we took his mum out for drinks when she got a pay raise to £16,000. of her three sons one is a doctor of robotics from Oxford, the next served time in prison but now earns £80,000 a year running his own business and my mate is a very talented japanese student. where you're from means shit in the end.

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:58, archived)

Yup

although when it's a choice of going to university or going out and getting a job to help pay your parent's mortgage it kind of fucks everything up a bit.

Ah well. A pirate's life for me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:59, archived)

well yeah but you've not done badly have you?

whereas i'll still be unemployable after 4 years a uni :)

and a pirate's life isn't bad all told :)

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:03, archived)

Ohhh I couldn't give a shit.

I'm slowly realising, due to managing graduates, that people with degrees are generally still thicker than I am.

I'd love to have gone for the experience, it seems people's endless 'reminisce about unifuckingversity' conversations go on for hours and hours and hours but apart from pissing money I haven't got up the wall I don't really see what else I've missed. I'll go back one day, but not now.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:07, archived)

Well, there is always the

vast array of interesting drugs to try and people to sleep with.

I went back as a mature (ha!) student, because I *actually* wanted to do the course.
I'm really glad I did.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:10, archived)

I will do

eventually. Probably. If I find myself at a loss for something to do. I don't know, I feel the urge but I'm far too busy getting on with things. I'm only 23, I've got AGES yet.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:11, archived)

Precisely!

I went 'back' when I was 25, it's the best time to do it.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:14, archived)

26 when I went

for the first time and for no other reason than I was interested in the course for a 'hobby'

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:23, archived)

*ginormous hugs*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:05, archived)

It's all good, fella.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:08, archived)

I'm from Salford.

It's not exactly Chelsea. My father did not have a good start. His mother was Danish immigrant who came with nothing.
When I left school at 17 to join the forces my father had a multi million pound steel fabricators and shipping engineers. He gave me 3 grand to get a start and I promptly set up a small works building firm and employed people as sub-contractors to complete jobs I tendered for and I still joined the army and managed both. I've done a lot since then and I'll be spending another £60k on a car next year, but the moral is that it does not matter where you are from you will get out of life no more than the effort you put into it.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:03, archived)

yet another man who proves my point

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:14, archived)

precisely.

Although signing petitions to equalise society, and trying to equalise society is utterly futile.

You might as well piss in a drain and hope that it hydrates Africa.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:55, archived)

I don't mind if we equalise society.

But only on the premise that we lop off the shite at the bottom rather than give them my shiny things.

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:57, archived)

haha

I would also support concentration camps for the underclass.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:58, archived)

haha ^this hard

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:04, archived)

oh yeah thats my point

i'll make a futile gesture but no more

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:05, archived)

"Right, I'm blumming well writing to my local MP."

"You don't have a local MP, you're an anarchist."
"Well I'll write to the lead singer of Echo and the Bunnymen!"

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:47, archived)

Excellent.

That's this afternoon's listening choice sorted, then. Ta!

Edit: Bless - look at his lickle face:

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:48, archived)

seen them live :)

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:54, archived)

Kilburn National - Porcupine Tour (1984?)

supported by the Redskins*.

Top quality.

Edit: *Lead singer - my brother in law!!!!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:58, archived)

your brother in law is in the redskins?

thats so cool

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:07, archived)

I'm very proud. \o/

A real shame he did the 'settling down to start a family' thing, but hey-ho.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:12, archived)

i seen em at the royal court liverpool

1985 i think

supported by the woodentops, who's lead singer my mate hit in the nose with a jelly baby, he stopped playing and shouted at him

(

Winthorpe Sim-Sala-Bim, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:17, archived)

The Woodentops!!!

"It Will Come' - that was one of theirs, wasn't it?
Great tune.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:23, archived)

I'd love to be able to write 'Bunnyman'

whenever a form asks me for my occupation.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:49, archived)

thats my favourite young ones moment

even the thought has sent me into mad giggling

(that is young ones right? or have i got confused)

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:53, archived)

Yes, yes it was.

I think it was the ill episode as well if my memory serves me.

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:56, archived)

hahaha

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:57, archived)

hahaha

grand

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:02, archived)

Seconded

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:59, archived)

If only it were not true.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:43, archived)

nice!

I knew a vegan rich-kid who claimed to be an anarchist socialist. He had a Beckham mohecan, worked in Schuh, wore gimpy amnesty international tshirts, and lived in a quarter of a million flat bought by his filthy rich parents.

ANARCHY

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:45, archived)

I say, Smash the bloody state, what!

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:47, archived)

he was posh Glaswegian

which is the most condescending wanky accent in the world.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:52, archived)

a posh glasgie? i'd pay to hear that

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:55, archived)

Fran Healey from Travis

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:00, archived)

LOLitics!

unfair but amusing

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:59, archived)

not that unfair...

a little bit

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:08, archived)

I'm feeling hungry now...

(

Puromycin is still licking windows, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:36, archived)

Where the hell can I buy this?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:36, archived)

Well...

...we could come to some sort of...ahem...arrangement.
*winks knowingly*

(

Puromycin is still licking windows, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:37, archived)

Where I give you money in exchange for goods or services?

....you filthy, filthy bitch.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:39, archived)

Keep talking dirty like that

and I'll throw in extra tenner.

(

Puromycin is still licking windows, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:43, archived)

Trading shall commence at exactly 9am

at which point the door shall be opened and twixes distributed for their cost value plus 40% mark up.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:45, archived)

I'm not awake yet, this was meant to be aimed in your general direction.

www.b3ta.com/board/8388970

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:40, archived)

I understood, don't worry.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:41, archived)

Buy Cheap - Undercook - Feed to terrorists

Sounds like my local cafe

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:37, archived)

*Sodding great Office LOL*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:38, archived)

haha i just laughed so hard i sneezed :)

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:40, archived)

Excellent!

:D

have a *click*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:39, archived)

pfft

I dare say it's a bit more digestion than a toffee crisp.

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:39, archived)

Nothing is more digestion than a toffee crisp.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:40, archived)

Pfft!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:42, archived)

Really!

*holds tumbly protectively and makes pained face*

I'm going to have some more mebeverine. Lovely mebeverine, magic stuff.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:43, archived)

sounds like a shit X-man

(

drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:46, archived)

Hahahahaha!

superb....

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:47, archived)

Well he's my favourite.

The others were no help at all.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:49, archived)

Awww, pickle....

What's the matter?

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:47, archived)

Ah, nothing

I eat very healthily so any crap like chocolate that enters my system will end up punishing me. I tend to live on things like fruit and Japanese soups and stuff. Grilled chicken, fish, salad etc.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:48, archived)

mmm spicy brains!

good noon to one and all

(

Dr. Strange Now Fully ISO 3103 Compliant!, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:40, archived)

this is ace

quick question to the /board: would you eat human flesh if it could be ethically sourced? even just to see what it tastes like?

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:45, archived)

ethically or ethnically?

(

Dr. Strange Now Fully ISO 3103 Compliant!, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:47, archived)

Cervello!

(

Monty Propps, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:54, archived)

BLAAAAAAAAARRB! BLAAAAAAAAARRB!

PreviousBLAAAAAAAAARRB!
tee hee!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:25, archived)

why are all these people blaaaaaaaaaarbing at me?

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:26, archived)

because you touch yourself

_{they're blaaarbing at me too :(}

(emcake putting a donk on it since, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:27, archived)

really I thought that just gave me hairy palms

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

o.O

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:26, archived)

Hahaha ! HILLLLLAAAAAAAARRRRRRBEEEEEEEE !

WOO !

(

rabbitz, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:27, archived)

BLAAAAAAAAARRB! BLAAAAAAAAARRB!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:28, archived)

Blee !

*huggles*

(

rabbitz, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:30, archived)

Bloody Hell!!!!!!!

I'm not sure what's scarier - the before- or after face...

Nicely, sir.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:28, archived)

would

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:29, archived)

Oh Hillary, Uh huh Hillary

yeah Hillary, hey Hillary, uh Hillary

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:30, archived)

She smoked it, how sad.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:31, archived)

I think she's about to give Bill

a taste of his own "medicine"

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

But she didn't inhale

(emcake putting a donk on it since, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

tastes of intern

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:39, archived)

BLAAAAAAAAARRB! BLAAAAAAAAARRB!

right back atcha

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

*ahem*

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

LOL

Crazy person.

*clicks*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

Dont get it

I just want to change the channel

(waxdart hello., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

ho hum

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

hi ho. . .

(

TheOther, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:19, archived)

sup bitch! :)

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:20, archived)

*shows pimp ring*

(

TheOther, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:20, archived)

*secret handshakes*

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:21, archived)

*enters secret tunnel to pimp land*

(

TheOther, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:22, archived)

Films

*profits

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:22, archived)

*kills lordaccharine*

pimps only biatch :D

(

TheOther, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:23, archived)

*resussitated by passing nurse

*is mightily pissed

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:25, archived)

*takes nurse to pimp land*

(

TheOther, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:27, archived)

noooo, nurseeeeey!

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:29, archived)

*waves*

(

TheOther, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:30, archived)

*shaves

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:46, archived)

RIS

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:26, archived)

I don't get it?

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:29, archived)

Exactly

am I being thick?

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

filenames are your friend

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:33, archived)

psst

_{_{check the filename}}

(

Sir T. Skellington, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:33, archived)

Gaaaah

*indiscriminately spangs anyone within reach*

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:35, archived)

(

Sir T. Skellington, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:29, archived)

Heehee !

Oh deary me !

*freebhugs*

(

rabbitz, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

Had to get it out of my head /ac

spent too much time on this already.

burqa repost thread anyone?

(

Want Bartender Time gentlemen please.., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:11, archived)

ooohhh

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:12, archived)

ooohhh?

(

Want Bartender Time gentlemen please.., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:13, archived)

aaaahhhhh

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

bisto

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

bifta

(

WormuIus, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:17, archived)

Biffa

(waxdart hello., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

no ta

nicely done though

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:13, archived)

Woo, sir!

and what lovely eyes, as well.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:13, archived)

No, not an unpleasant subject to work on..

(

Want Bartender Time gentlemen please.., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:14, archived)

*nudges*

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:14, archived)

*winks*

(

Want Bartender Time gentlemen please.., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

*blushes*

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

*Pink Champagnes*

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:17, archived)

*tea bags*

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:35, archived)

eeewwwww!

There's no need for that!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:44, archived)

woo!

BAR

ching ching ching ching ching ching ching ching ching ching

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:14, archived)

that is rather well done, "well done!"

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

Ta.

(

Want Bartender Time gentlemen please.., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

Oooh those eyes remind me of something.

Top work!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

Ta....

Go on, what do they remind..?

(

Want Bartender Time gentlemen please.., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:17, archived)

Someone else's eyes

nothing *that* leftfield...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:20, archived)

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:41, archived)

Not those

although I believe I've seen and appreciated this before.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:42, archived)

Nice!

Too much melange?

(

Want Bartender Time gentlemen please.., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:56, archived)

If you insist...

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

When I was working in Boots, about 8 women wearing burkhas came in

you, know, bumping into things and talking like Kenny from South Park

but the most bizarre thing was that they were most interested in the cosmetics - mascara, foundation, blusher, lipstick and so on. I still don't get it. What's the point?

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:25, archived)

For when they're at home.

(

Brandy_Bumwinkle, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:29, archived)

When I'm at home I don't style my hair or add extra deodorant or put on my best clothes

I thought that was the point of being at home, you can let it all hang out.

I'll never understand religionists.

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:34, archived)

(

The Neville What what what, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

nothing wrong with a hot pump!

(

prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:12, archived)

Good stuff that 3B.

Much better than 2B.

(

NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

even better than 1B

(

TheOther, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

I love a hot pump

but I don't want it to burn, so I use Action Pump 2000 Liquid Coolant Substance 3B.

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:24, archived)

hahahahahaha!

i was so impressed with Action Pump 2000 Liquid Coolant Substance 3B that i bought the company.

(

god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:33, archived)

Broamy pumps!

You've gotta love `em. By law.

(

wheelybird mreee!, Wed 21 May 2008, 14:55, archived)

Brilliant!

*pumps*

(Pho3nixius, Wed 21 May 2008, 18:29, archived)

I'm still without imageready and photoshop, so no Patrick Stewart waving his head folds like a giant brain bug animation.

But nonetheless here's a Celebrity Mutant of some celebrity mutants.

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:03, archived)

mm jam orifice

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:05, archived)

+10

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:05, archived)

+ 10 wizardry.

(

Ttssattsr, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:06, archived)

-5 Dex

+20 Str
+3 Dmg

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:07, archived)

Hammer of amazing thunderous smitation +10

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

Did you have to motion towards your crotch when you did that?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

*raises eyebrow

maybe

*thrusts

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

I wish I was a boy.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:17, archived)

Yeah, this front bits are a perk.

But they do get in the way sometimes, or get all twsited up and need surgery, twice :-(

It's about equal, you get lovely boobs and intriguing crotch facilities of yr own. Oh, and babies, lovely babies grow in you.

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:22, archived)

And then have to come OUT

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:23, archived)

Yeah true

worth it tho

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:26, archived)

True, true.

Plus the boobs aren't as nice when they're yours. It's just two more things to worry about.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:28, archived)

Heh

Leaving the house:

keys, check
phone, check
turned off oven, check

boobs? Oh NO!

(

lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:29, archived)

Pfft, I'm a worrier

for me leaving the house is:

Phone
Keys
Check patio doors
check hobs and oven
check heating's off
check hobs and oven
check patio doors
check heating's off
check lizard
check patio doors
check windows are locked
check lizard
keys
phone
check patio doors

THEN leave.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:32, archived)

Haha same!*

Borderline OCD I guess. I check every morning that the gas fires are switched off, despite the fact that we've not used either of them for over a month...

*EDIT except the lizard. We don't have any reptiles. That we're aware of.

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:34, archived)

You just KNOW the day you don't check

will be the day you come back to NoHome.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:35, archived)

Too true...

*leaves*
*gets halfway to bus stop*
*returns to check door is properly locked*

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:37, archived)

HAH I pull that trick.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:40, archived)

Welcome to the b3ta OCD society!

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:44, archived)

There's a lizard in my kitchen I was not previously aware of

A tiny little gecko about an inch and a half long

Didn't half give me a fright this morning when it ran past my foot

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:39, archived)

Where on earth do you live?

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:40, archived)

Emerald Hill (which sounds like a Sonic Zone)

Somerset (which sounds like the west country)
Singapore

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:41, archived)

AWWWW

Name it MiniFran!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:41, archived)

I shall indeed

I tried to take a picture of it but it was too small even at full zoom :(

[edit]

it came out all blurry, then MiniFran ran away under the cooker

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:43, archived)

AWWW!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:50, archived)

nah seriously not worth it

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:25, archived)

I'd love it. Just for a week or two.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:30, archived)

I have -x Charm

may be lurid spoken joke

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:14, archived)

change charm to appeal.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

But appeal is not a RPG characteristic!

You are a nonsense.

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:17, archived)

Works better vocally though....

Or pest. Maybe pest.

Or Yule offender. Nice and festive.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

To be honest a completely different joke would work better vocally...

My grandfather was a mime artist you know, left me his briefcase when he died.

Could never get it home though.

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:19, archived)

Should I be ashamed that I giggled at that?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:20, archived)

Yes, yes you should. I have about a billion of these too.

I really need an excuse to go to Fosters and look round the English department for some phrasology books because writing wordplay is getting exponentially harder.

Also I now seem to have the skull from that image I did burnt into my retina, as it keeps appearing in the white on my screen.

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:24, archived)

I seem to remember my secondary school

having some interesting books on language, including some lovely old etymological dictionaries that smelt amazing.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:26, archived)

I just need one with lots of phrases, idioms, proverbs and such in.

"You know what they say, pride comes before of lions." - so I can do things like that.

Also I swear Fosters was the really old bookshop near leicester square, but googlemap says there is no bookshop on the corner at all now.

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:30, archived)

Everything is changing.

The old bookshop in my town has gone, which is most annoying.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:33, archived)

I think it's unlikely to have gone, as it was the oldest bookshop in London.

Foyles, doh.

Still, I don't see why googlemap didn't show it with all the others under bookshops.

Also I really need to start writing now, but I swear each chapter is getting harder and I think that the next chapter will be a cakewalk then it manages to be more ridiculously stupid to write than the last.
If anyone knows how to write a icy post alien sex atmosphere and still make it actually funny, you'll have to get in touch with me...

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:38, archived)

Oh FOYLES.

Riiiight.

I've heard of that one.

Have you done bullet points to plan your chapters?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:39, archived)

The entire book is already written out in so much as the actual events (this is a rewrite remember)

It's just that making it funny, interesting or even vaguely well written is fucking difficult.

The original story made far too serious an attempt (and a really shit serious attempt at that) at showing the indecision in the main character's mind, and why despite the fact that an alien girl just jumped him and then cooked him breakfast afterwards he was still fairly nonplussed about the whole thing.

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:44, archived)

Sounds like all men to me.

Nonplussed, angry or pompous.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:46, archived)

The main character was based on me.

So thanks for that one.

I still think terminal melacholy for a main character is a pretty brave choice though.

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:53, archived)

it bloody better be there

i love that shop :(

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:42, archived)

I hate to appear incredibly obtuse

but I am, so that's life. I am quite sure that this is exquisitely amusing but I just don't get it. Enlighten me, please.

(Fles is a man amongst gods., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:37, archived)

Which one, the mime or the -x joke?

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:40, archived)

Damn

I was referring to the mime one, but both, actually. I must really be off form today.

(Fles is a man amongst gods., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:48, archived)

-x would be pronounced minor sex, thus Minor sex appeal or the various other things which were said up dere^

And the mime thing refers to the old mime routine of having a suitcase/briefcase that is immovable and they end up fighting with. I would find a video of the routine but I can only seem to find ropes and ladders on youtube.

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:52, archived)

Thanks

It makes perfect sense now. I recall the mime now that you mention it and I should have got -x because I'm from the West Country originally.

(Fles is a man amongst gods., Wed 21 May 2008, 15:24, archived)

Overwhelming urge to put my hand in it.

Swirl it about a bit.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:05, archived)

That line never works for me

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:08, archived)

You need to be holding presents in the other hand.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:09, archived)

Chocolate?

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

At LEAST.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

uuughhhhh....

*click*

there has been a lot of really gross but excellent posts recently; quite enjoying this TBH!

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

They're awfully happy about it, which makes me happy about it too

(

Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:20, archived)

Developed from something else

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:01, archived)

Definitely would.

Rather him than Cherie, anyway.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:02, archived)

unshopped pictures only

/ac

:D

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:02, archived)

Lord Kazzak

(spartacus_mills and Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln!, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:03, archived)

how rare!

noice.

hello everybody :)

Click for bigger (279KB)

(

Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:05, archived)

Lovely.

Lovely burn.

*hug*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:08, archived)

Unexpected...

Beware!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 12:54, archived)

Hehehe!

Ciggie time!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 12:54, archived)

my dog just died :(

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:04, archived)

how did he smell?

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:06, archived)

I *so* wanted to post that.

Sir, you're a braver man than I.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:07, archived)

bad taste that man

though that did raise a smile :\

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:07, archived)

has he really just died?

i thought you were joshing.

poor chap, was he an ill dog?

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:10, archived)

yeah he has :(

he's been on the way out for a while but he's finally snuffed it this morning :(

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:14, archived)

i take it he was an old dog.

are you going to bury him in the garden?

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

my dad's taking him out to where they used to walk him

he's friendly with the MoD types that own the land and they say they don't mind if its out of the way

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:18, archived)

Hooray for friendly army types.

lets hope your dad doesn't find a UXB.

[edit]i've just reminded myself of the old spectrum game, Psychopigs UXB, i must search the internets for it.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:21, archived)

take it out

for a drag then

(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:09, archived)

Shit. Oh sweetie.

I'm so sorry.

*massive hug*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:11, archived)

*sniffles*

i wish i'd been home :(

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:15, archived)

Oh loooove you poor chicken.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:16, archived)

Aside from my above remarks,

I'm sorry to hear that, guv.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:12, archived)

aha!

(tieQ Smallbrainfield is my hero., Wed 21 May 2008, 12:55, archived)

hose round is it?

(

PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Wed 21 May 2008, 12:56, archived)

yes it is

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 21 May 2008, 12:57, archived)

hahahaha!

(

god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Wed 21 May 2008, 12:57, archived)

dave can spell

http://www.deagostini.co.uk/ilovehoses/

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 21 May 2008, 12:57, archived)

I fucking clicked that D:<

(

Ttssattsr, Wed 21 May 2008, 12:59, archived)

Pffft!

Edit: Great piece of reverse psychology there, eh?

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:00, archived)

Reverse psychology? No such thing.

*electrocutes kitten*

(

barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:02, archived)

Indeed...

And Pavlov only tortured puppies whilst perfecting his more famous pudding.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:04, archived)

This Pavlov?

en.wikipedia.org /wiki/Ivan _Pavlov

(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:07, archived)

No, not that one.

Nice try, though.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:08, archived)

*sniff sniff*

smells like...

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:08, archived)

clever

(

Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:19, archived)

good good

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:07, archived)

Hahahaha!

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Wed 21 May 2008, 12:58, archived)

Arf!

Superb work, sir.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 12:59, archived)

(

Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:01, archived)

Got any O's?

(Hoof Hearted, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:01, archived)

pffft....

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:01, archived)

\o/

Excellent!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:07, archived)

arf

top work

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 21 May 2008, 13:02, archived)

Hahahaha!

you nutter! Woo!
Tee hee!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:04, archived)

Bless you, sir

I was working on the 'imitation is the most sincere form of flattery' gambit.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:06, archived)

Unexpected Hose! Hahaha

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 21 May 2008, 13:34, archived)

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