Four posts on the popular pageand it's still rolling along
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vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 4 May 2026, 13:38,
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Hello Queefy(
vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 4 May 2026, 14:10,
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People should click every post in this thread to fill it up again(
Cheers Cheers, Mon 4 May 2026, 13:51,
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I vote this I vote this I vote this (
vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 4 May 2026, 14:10,
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Brilliant, Iran is now firing missiles. I'm off to Doha tomorrow. Pricks on all sides (
mongychops, Mon 4 May 2026, 16:53,
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Noooooo ๐ซ(
vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 4 May 2026, 17:14,
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Our missiles are full of peace!(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Mon 4 May 2026, 18:53,
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"None of these are as clean as the fake command I invented, unfortunately."(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Mon 4 May 2026, 18:51,
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Guardian explainer: What is hantavirus, and what kind of cunt goes on a cruise?(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Mon 4 May 2026, 19:19,
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Hanta is a level 4 virus, isn't it?(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 4 May 2026, 19:43,
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I'm sorry I hantaclue(
vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 4 May 2026, 20:59,
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Because only 4 things have been popular this week (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 4 May 2026, 19:42,
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you're up early, considering(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 4 May 2026, 9:40,
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I was dehydrated So my legs kept cramping. I had to get up and walk around to stop it, which the cats decided meant it was breakfast time
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 4 May 2026, 10:10,
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Popular page is looking a little bare,so I'd just like to add that Sebastian Winnett is a scarf-wearing cockhound, and that spanishfly should piss off.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 4 May 2026, 9:25,
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Sebastian has a busy practice in serious fraud and is frequently instructed as a led junior in complex multi-handed matters.(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Mon 4 May 2026, 14:44,
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that's why mum's gone to poundland(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 3 May 2026, 16:57,
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that's not even a shop you brainwrong(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 3 May 2026, 17:21,
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I'm not I am finally feeling too old to pull an all- nighter.
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 3 May 2026, 19:00,
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fuck me i've felt like that for yearshappy candles etc etc
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 3 May 2026, 22:33,
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Thanks At 51, I really didn't think I would be doing it again, because most of my friends have children and even grandchildren. The only reason I did it is because it's been almost 5 months since one of my best friends died, and it was his husband's birthday this week. He wanted to act like he was dealing with it, so he invited me for a birthday drink last night. I didn't realise how badly he was failing to cope until he brought out the shoe. What he had laid out was more than the three of us ever did together, even 20 years ago. I thought that was bad enough, until he showed me a container with at least ยฃ300 worth and told me he's blown most of his life savings on it since his husband died, because it scrambles his brain, stops him focusing on reality and eventually causes him to burn out and actually sleep. I'm very worried about him, but I know I can't push him as he'll refuse help and stop answering my calls. I can't risk that, I need to be there for him when he needs me, but on his terms.
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 3 May 2026, 23:46,
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i hope you put it on your head(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 3 May 2026, 23:57,
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Ohhhhh nonono poor him :/(
vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 4 May 2026, 13:39,
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Home bargains has more choice And most of their stuff isn't cheap tat that people won't bother taking back when it breaks, because it's too cheap to waste the time and petrol.
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 3 May 2026, 21:18,
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Woman jailed after shoplifting barrage which included £18 theft from PoundlandI wonder how many items she stole?
(, Sun 3 May 2026, 19:32, Reply)
pub fight ends in ear bite(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 3 May 2026, 22:33,
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a drunken punchup at a wedding(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Sun 3 May 2026, 23:06,
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That wouldn't have been funny years ago, and now Poundland sells so many goods well over a pound it's even worse. Congratulations, shit!(
mongychops, Sun 3 May 2026, 23:08,
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one thing from poundland, and one thing from 17 poundland just down the road(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Sun 3 May 2026, 23:37,
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there are still some things for exactly a dollar in the dollar store here, but then they add sales tax at the checkout(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Sun 3 May 2026, 23:46,
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that really pissed me off when i went to americanland(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 4 May 2026, 1:01,
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Hmm. What does Ground News say about this?*checks app*
Something about a Big Farmer?
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Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 3 May 2026, 15:07,
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no real excuses, pleasehang on a minute. for half an hour?
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 3 May 2026, 10:50,
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it's not a proper sunday morning shitunless both of your legs have gone to sleep
(, Sun 3 May 2026, 10:56, Reply)
i'm in and out lickety split(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 3 May 2026, 10:58,
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yeah well i haven't used tp since the great covid wars(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 3 May 2026, 11:19,
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Humphrey Lyttleton's panel show concept needed a little tweaking before the BBC commissioned it(
Queef Smegwin U r a ๐๐, Sun 3 May 2026, 11:11,
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hpbd2uoff down the South Bank for a pal's 50th
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Queef Smegwin U r a ๐๐, Sun 3 May 2026, 9:28,
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you beautiful young brute(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 3 May 2026, 14:31,
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are you familiar with the term 'grooming'?(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Sun 3 May 2026, 16:11,
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shhhhhhNobody's talking to you
Does b3ta have private chat rooms? Asking for a friend
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 3 May 2026, 17:25,
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MorningItโs cat hell here at Chez Garold. Aggie is furious and resentful and has hate and revenge in her eyes. Boston is sad and wants affection and zoomies. All a bit tense right now.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 3 May 2026, 9:53,
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how long did you keep them in seperate rooms to acclimatise?cos it sounds very much like you fucked up
(, Sun 3 May 2026, 9:55, Reply)
We've zoned the house and Aggie is at ease on the top two floors.Boston is downstairs in a cage so she's tentatively coming and having a look to see if the fucker is still there in his big cage and that's when she gives us a hard time for that THING still being here. We let him out at night when she's in our room - this has worked out pretty well as she's not bothered and he gets used to the house and has a rood old run around.
The shelter where we got Boston did us a plan and it's going as expected. At times it's better, at others it feels worse, but we are making iddy biddy progress.
We've got a couple of those scent calming plug in things on the way but gonna hold off on them till the cats are both in the same space at the same time.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 3 May 2026, 10:35,
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Have you tried instituting a demilitarized zone, enforced by a UN peacekeeping force if necessary? (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 3 May 2026, 10:37,
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First thing we didwe had the white helmets empting turds from litter trays on day one but it hasn't fostered a sense of calm and harmony in the house.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 3 May 2026, 10:46,
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I just breathed in a bit of my own spit and choked so hard I got lightheaded, dizzy and fell overso yay
(, Sun 3 May 2026, 9:55, Reply)
you'll never take me alive(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 3 May 2026, 10:53,
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Haven't been to bed yet (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 3 May 2026, 14:47,
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What a way to mark your CANDLES DAY!!!! (
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 3 May 2026, 16:48,
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wait till you see the whites of their eyes(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 2 May 2026, 19:53,
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It's ImgBB, the new Imgur that works in the UK.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 2 May 2026, 22:32,
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Went for a drink in addlestone, not my normal stomping ground, got locked in pub due to bloke outside in dressing gown with a knife (
broadsword, Sat 2 May 2026, 23:12,
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After, as you rightly say, noon.(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 2 May 2026, 12:56,
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for a given value of noon, yes(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 2 May 2026, 18:10,
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Afternoon, piss.I've just started a Scrabble game against my mother-in-law with FELCH.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 2 May 2026, 13:23,
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No, it’s in the vagina or anus.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 2 May 2026, 15:38,
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well get it out, man(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 2 May 2026, 15:54,
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Well clearly, because it's an online game and it let me play the word.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 2 May 2026, 17:15,
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Apparently he wasn't singing "felch me out", I've been singing it wrong all these years(, Sat 2 May 2026, 17:31, Reply)
Depends whether you wake up in time or not.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 2 May 2026, 14:12,
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Dog Poo Golfvole.wtf/dog-poo-golf/
After much research, I advise partnering with a small breed.
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mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Sat 2 May 2026, 14:56,
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It really is, my best score was 6, for 4 stars, I think it's probably possible to do it in 4Just scored 5 with the medium dog stool, still only 4 stars
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mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Sat 2 May 2026, 16:05,
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That's bizarre. Earlier today I picked up a stick to flick a dog poo off the path where I was walking ahead of my wife and our son, and declared that I had played "Dog poo golf."
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 2 May 2026, 17:16,
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Any guess as to the size of the breed, for my research(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Sat 2 May 2026, 17:44,
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I can't believe you've done this(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Sat 2 May 2026, 23:37,
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where i live that would have been scraped up to make someone a lovely bit of roast dinner(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 2 May 2026, 20:47,
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balatro top score? phone number on your local's toilet wall? the answer to life, the universe, and everything, douglas adams' first draft?(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Fri 1 May 2026, 23:44,
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Clearly calling for Rob's assassination (
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 2 May 2026, 2:08,
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alright the B-52s after a head injury(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 2 May 2026, 0:19,
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I actually knew the tiramisu question. 3/7www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0k2jrjv7m8o
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 1 May 2026, 13:04,
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2/7 fuck off stupid shit quiz anyway(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 1 May 2026, 15:42,
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great, now i'm hungry(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 1 May 2026, 18:44,
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what's in the burgers? tain't meat, that's for sure. (
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Fri 1 May 2026, 18:56,
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well. as funny as that wastonight i'm having real home-made seafood ramen soup with real ramen noodles and real 99% pure monosodium glutamate and real other oriental ingredients i would not expect any of you to comprehend. apart from queef. and maybe someone else.
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 1 May 2026, 20:31,
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and tomorrow, yes! i'm making my own sushi! so fuck you.(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 1 May 2026, 20:33,
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Not really hard is it. My kids used to make sushi with me as toddlers (
mongychops, Fri 1 May 2026, 20:43,
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yeah well, you can fuck off an all(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 1 May 2026, 21:07,
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I made my own sushi once and only once Because it was delicious, I made a lot more than I expected and I have no self control, so I made myself sick.
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 1 May 2026, 21:12,
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i'd totally do thatit will be the first time i've made it so probably will be sick either from overeating or just from making poisonous trash
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 1 May 2026, 21:15,
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I'm better with making ramen As I love it when it's properly made
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 1 May 2026, 22:57,
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my ramen was fucking amazing(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 1 May 2026, 22:59,
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As an aside, I did a psychological personality test once out of curiosity, it said I was an expansionist creative.
(, Fri 1 May 2026, 16:45, Reply)
The one I did said I was an obsessive, seriously every single one of the 215 times I took it (
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Fri 1 May 2026, 18:58,
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some wordy /links cunt with an hilariously overinflated opinion of their own brilliance,so basically yes
(, Fri 1 May 2026, 20:46, Reply)
wasn't brill a toilet cleaner or/of some shit(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 1 May 2026, 21:47,
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cor, what a scorcher!!!Lovely day to be working outside
Rather be dahn pub tho
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Queef Smegwin U r a ๐๐, Fri 1 May 2026, 12:25,
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I am working inside and it's not scorching out there and my favourite pub isn't open until 5pm anywayThis post offends me to my cor.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 1 May 2026, 12:42,
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Charli xc(image is a repost by ninj of a Basil Fawlty / Miguel head swap)
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mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Fri 1 May 2026, 13:23,
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More rape newswww.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/czx2gwpe9evo
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 1 May 2026, 12:59,
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overly complex facial hair arrangement, not a red flag as such but maybe a yellow one(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Fri 1 May 2026, 13:52,
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How do you anticipate posting on /talk without a browser?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 1 May 2026, 9:29,
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He's fast - 8 armed being that can use a telnet client to manually interact with the server.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 1 May 2026, 9:31,
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Like a squiddy fiddler, you mean.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 1 May 2026, 10:12,
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Got a new topic to bring up in my Teams call today with someone I haven't seen for 25 years.In the panto we did in 1996, she was cast as an Asian lecturer, and I'd completely forgotten that she blacked up for the role. I have a photo.
(, Fri 1 May 2026, 7:48, Reply)
Ah yes, Asia, where black people come from.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 1 May 2026, 8:02,
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the correct term is 'nig nogs', i thinkbrb klaxon etc
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 1 May 2026, 8:35,
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Is "browned-up" a phrase?I would have used that but I wasn't sure. In any case, she was pretty black.
(, Fri 1 May 2026, 9:04, Reply)
you could use 'brown nose' i supposeduck immediately afterwards tho
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 1 May 2026, 9:10,
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He stated that he possessed a photograph of a 'blacked up' child, claiming to have had it in his collection for 25 years...(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Fri 1 May 2026, 11:24,
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... appeared to be familiar with the names of several notorious sexual offenders ...(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Fri 1 May 2026, 11:26,
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... the code words 'Pato Banton' ...(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Fri 1 May 2026, 11:27,
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and the rich get richerWe're sorry we didn't switch on your services when we said we would.
We've added a ยฃ19.38 credit to your next bill to try and make up for it.
You don't need to do anything, we'll add it automatically.
If you have any questions, please visit our help page.
Thanks,
The EE Team
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 1 May 2026, 8:38,
Reply)
I just saw someone regurgitating a nondescript service email they'd received and assumed it was you(, Fri 1 May 2026, 9:27, Reply)
I've not heard this version of Happy Birthday before(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Fri 1 May 2026, 14:19,
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I love it when a mobile data plan comes together
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Cheers Cheers, Fri 1 May 2026, 10:11,
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I ain't getting on no plane and then paying roaming charges once we land at our destination, fool!(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 1 May 2026, 11:26,
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Gold... always believe in yourseeeeeelfnews.sky.com/story/former-spandau-ballet-singer-ross-davidson-jailed-for-14-years-for-rape-and-sexual-assault-13538498?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-gb
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 1 May 2026, 9:17,
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I'm sorry, I've written joke "Nice sunny day"
"Yeah, but that wind's a bastard"
"Andrew Mountbatten"?
(, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 22:12, Reply)
Crucifixion's a doddle (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 1 May 2026, 8:52,
Reply)
Yes, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor said it to Jeffrey Epstein."Has she got tits yet?"
(, Fri 1 May 2026, 5:50, Reply)
"Yes, they're quite big and womanly now.""Ugh, gross."
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 1 May 2026, 7:30,
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Good afternoon, penis's'Lovely sunny one here
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Queef Smegwin U r a ๐๐, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 12:43,
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I've been told I need a colonoscopy.So at least I've got that to look forward to.
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Octo I ruin everything., Thu 30 Apr 2026, 12:52,
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So I'll be looking forwards, but they will be looking behind?Gotcha
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Octo I ruin everything., Thu 30 Apr 2026, 12:59,
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It's great, you get to look at your own insides live on a screen(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:36,
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It's great, right up until the moment someone yells "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?"(, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:37, Reply)
oh that's where i left my...(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 19:55,
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I can tell from your comments here that you are fine, some of us are doctors (
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 12:59,
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ClapsMy wife wants to be there when the camera goes up my bum. I said 'I hope it's not a Nikon'
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Octo I ruin everything., Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:23,
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i hope it has a zoom lens with a variable apertureWIDE ANGLE, OBVS
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:56,
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Well that's a successful insertion, now let's deploy the solar array, 250m wingspan, we call it The Dilator(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:05,
Reply)
Double, doubleToil and trouble
Anally-inserted Hubble
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:34,
Reply)
For some reason my colleague always called it a 'telescope'.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:19,
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It is also a camera, though.Just one with an absolute heckin chonker of a telephoto lens.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 30 Apr 2026, 16:49,
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well the main thing is that it's massive and is going to be forcibly inserted into octo's arse.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 18:53,
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I'm sure we can all agree that that's the import thing here.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 30 Apr 2026, 19:51,
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We used to do bowel prep & booster medication for capsule endoscopies,where you swallow a capsule fitted with a light and two cameras, it takes thousands of pictures and transmits them to a receiver worn round your waist. You then shit out the capsule and send the receiver away, and they examine your photos.
Pros: it can be administered anywhere, not just in a hospital endoscopy unit; it's much less invasive.
Cons: jury still seems to be out on how reliable it is (a lot of endoscopy folk really don't seem to trust it); the halfwits screening the patients kept neglecting to confirm their postal addresses, so we kept having medication returned undelivered because they'd put the wrong address on the prescription; the company administering the scheme in partnership with the NHS went into liquidation last year without telling us, so it came to a rather abrupt end.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:43, Reply)
Yikes.Nice to know everyone in the service is talking to each other *cough*
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Octo I ruin everything., Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:48,
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I suggest perching some sunglasses atop the old chap (
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 13:52,
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Today sucks Meant to be going out to celebrate dad's birthday today, after him getting out of hospital on Tuesday. This morning, mum was admitted with pneumonia and everything is cancelled. She thinks it's her fault, so she's even more upset and dad is spending his birthday in the hospital after all.
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 13:56,
Reply)
Ach, that's rough. Hope they both make a break for it soon and can enjoy a small glass of sherry for belated celebrations.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:06,
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Visiting hours finishes at 7So dad will likely take himself off for a pint or two
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:26,
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shit. sorry smash that sucks(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:08,
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Just packed a bag for her Made sure she's got snacks and her charger, as well as pyjamas, underwear, etc.
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:24,
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Antibiotics will hopefully fix the sick and make her good(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 16:12,
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I hope so I'm so stressed that I've resorted to my dad's gummies.
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 21:17,
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Sorry to hear that.My mum just got out after spending 57 days in hospital for a stroke.
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Octo I ruin everything., Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:56,
Reply)
Glad she's feeling better Mum is not the most patient of people, so being stuck in hospital is going to drive her mental. Hopefully, they'll send her home tomorrow, if antibiotics can sort it
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:22,
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Windy here, sunny tho. I'm hoping trump waits 6 days before kicking off again. Got to go Qatar (
mongychops, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 13:57,
Reply)
I reckon you're ok, he's bored with it now, who really knows though(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 13:57,
Reply)
Doesn't the cease fire end tomorrow? Who knows what that nutter will be told to do by Bibi next. Bibi needs the wars or he's prison bound, if cancer don't get him first(
mongychops, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:05,
Reply)
Oh wow, imagine if Netihahaa got arrested and died of cancer on the way to prisonthat'd be... tragic.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:08,
Reply)
Or got run over *just* before he was about to die of cancer.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:57,
Reply)
trump has dementia he won't remember there's a war on.didn't america depose the old iranian leader for... reasons... and basically cause all this shit anyway? fucking wankers. they love blowing up other people's countries. oh my towers. fuck off you fat dirty filthy american pigdogs
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:09,
Reply)
mofaha's alright tho(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:12,
Reply)
yeah well, fuckin london this lahndahn thatknow what i mean
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:58,
Reply)
BP were furious the puppet governance they installed decided Iranian oil wasn't British petroleum. So the Shah was reinstated. He was a cunt. Been hard line Muslim since. Shame, Persian culture is way cool (
mongychops, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:16,
Reply)
I think BP doubling their profits this quarter will have settled them down a bit, things have a funny way of working out when you've got billions to play with(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:03,
Reply)
Oh I'm going back 100 years of BP in Iran. They were controlling it. (
mongychops, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:48,
Reply)
In my appraisal, appraiser has gone for a coffee break. Any suggestions for Professional Development Plan items for when she gets back?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 15:16,
Reply)
ixnay on the urderingpatientsmay(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 18:50,
Reply)
Say 'develop *this*, m8'And point at your crotch
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ๐๐, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 17:02,
Reply)
It's a teams meeting so I'll have to angle the camera down so she can see what I'm pointing atand zoom in.
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 18:57,
Reply)
can you keep the noise down some of us are up at 5amcheers
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 0:06,
Reply)
I canโt stop pilfering from other peopleโs plates โ but donโt even think about grabbing my chips.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 7:57, Reply)
Give it a wash m8, it smells like week-old kippers left out in the sun(
Cheers Cheers, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 8:05,
Reply)
+ this is vile(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 9:31,
Reply)
New cat has arrivedhe's very sweet. Original cat is fucking livid about the situation.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 8:07,
Reply)
I used to have two cats but I got them at the same timeIf I introduced a new cat to the one I have now heโd probably leave
(
Cheers Cheers, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 8:14,
Reply)
The cat rescue shelter is advising us through the ordealthe old cat does get on with one of the neighbour's moggies so we recon she will adjust. May take a while tho.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 9:58,
Reply)
and a decent pet like a fucking dog you moron(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 11:20,
Reply)
We did think about that but thought nodogs are for cunts.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 11:23,
Reply)
that's true. dogs are for cunts. cats are for wankers.(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 11:42,
Reply)
Fucken' right and don't you forget it.(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:06,
Reply)
We may do but it's early daysand Aggie (resident) is not freaking out too much, she's just not happy with this other cat in a cage in the living room.
Boswon (new addition) is very affectionate and friendly but a bit jumpy. He was found as a stray in a park so I wonder if he escaped someone's home or maybe was dumped. He's very happy to be in a house around people and he was quite chilled to see another cat so he won't be a problem.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 11:29,
Reply)
despite all my rage i am still just a cat in a cage(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 12:19,
Reply)
Boston, not Boswon. Bowson would be a great cat's name tho.(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:08,
Reply)
Yeah I had a similar situation with my ex(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 9:33,
Reply)
Did she jump over the garden fence in a huffand shit in the neighbour's flower bed too?
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 9:56,
Reply)
You used to go out with 2can?I sense the dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-diddly-dums at the end of Eastenders about to play out...
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 11:20,
Reply)
Did he take your temperature without using his hands at all?(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 14:09,
Reply)
that slag broke my achy beaky heart(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 12:22,
Reply)
has broken, like the first morning, blackbird has spoken, like the first bird(
Octo I ruin everything., Thu 30 Apr 2026, 8:26,
Reply)
Exactly the right amount of racist(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 11:29,
Reply)
morningI have a Teams call tomorrow with someone who was a few years below me at uni. Haven't seen her for about 25 years, last time was when she got off with another uni friend shortly before he came out as gay. Wonder if I should start the call with that.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 9:11, Reply)
Hi semen's, QS is in the house!!!I have the day off today, I have done precisely fuck all with it. Going to rustle up something Mexican in a bit.
How r u lol
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ๐๐, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 15:06,
Reply)
I pressed some buttons in various orders. Things appeared on this screen thing.alright Queef's.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 15:10,
Reply)
ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 16:41,
Reply)
yellow green brown blue pink and black(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 0:56,
Reply)
I'm off to Madrid on Tuesday It's no Vietnam but it'll have to do
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ๐๐, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 16:39,
Reply)
i am gud lolMexican rustler
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 18:43,
Reply)
What's the market rate for a stolen Mexican these days?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 29 Apr 2026, 19:01,
Reply)
I'm going for a Mexican tomorrow night For dad's birthday, now that he's out of hospital. I'm not massively keen on Mexican food, but it's what he wants, so that's what we're doing. You're only 80 once.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 20:49,
Reply)
Depends how bad your dementia is, you could be 80 every day for years(, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 20:54, Reply)
Dad doesn't have dementia He's sharp as a tack, just old.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 22:13,
Reply)
getting old is not for sissies(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 22:36,
Reply)
Just about to order a takeaway from the best curry house in London. (
mongychops, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 20:51,
Reply)
sounds good, getting turkish food tonight, I'd prefer a london curry tho(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 22:04,
Reply)
All curry tastes the same(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 30 Apr 2026, 10:34,
Reply)
There is only Aardvark.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 14:20,
Reply)
Is it solipsistic in here today, or is it just me?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 14:25,
Reply)
I'm sure I have no idea what you mean.Hey look over there! OMG, what IS that?!
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 14:41,
Reply)
Incorrectwww.youtube.com/watch?v=5DjcD8_B7cQ
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ๐๐, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 15:08,
Reply)
lovely day! bit bright tho, close the curtains and get some work done. morning
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 6:17,
Reply)
I have to be out in this sunshine to go to work.Could be worse though, I actually donโt hate my job for the first time in about 20 years.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 7:44,
Reply)
i have a job where i go out in the sun and a job i stay home in the shadei hate them both pretty equally in all honesty
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 8:09,
Reply)
jack them both in and get a job where you hang around in the doorway(, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 8:19, Reply)
I don't work in the sun like some sort of outdoorsy, active person. I just haven't found a way to get to the office that doesn't involve being exposed to the nasty bright face, precious.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 8:43,
Reply)
The stats page says otherwise b3ta.com/board_stats/talkboard-users.html
(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 9:03,
Reply)
Christ, I'm in 5th place on /board stats with 8 posts.This place is dead on its arse.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 9:46, Reply)
I'd say it's been consisitently this dead for years though,miracle it's still going tbh.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 10:05,
Reply)
Yeah, I didn't mean to imply a recent change, it was just a stark reminder.(, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 10:17, Reply)
get a 2nd job posting on /talk m8it's honest work
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 10:18,
Reply)
rob is sound af for keeping this last bastion of free speech open in all honestyit's one of the last places left on the whole planet where mr horrible is allowed to say anything at all these days without being thrown in jail.
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 10:29,
Reply)
There are limits though, if he starts making Pato Banton jokes he'll be at the bottom of a canal with concrete shoes(, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 10:44, Reply)
you're not a cabbie, are you?(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 12:47,
Reply)
It's because Gilgamesh left.He warned us!
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 10:51,
Reply)
Discussing important matters no doubt.Like the ISS Piss Tank levels
gistpreview.github.io/?76f03f49be58344bfa64c9d5d9f0ec29
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 11:22,
Reply)
brb is the most prolific /board poster?Now I have another reason never to post there.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 12:16,
Reply)
12 posts wouldn't even have been in the top 10 nightcrawlers back in the dayweb.archive.org/web/20070629103536/https://b3ta.com/board_stats/mainboard-users.html
(, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 12:40, Reply)
Perhaps we need to attract some new blood to /talk and even /board (but not /links). How are we going to do that? How can we make b3ta appeal to the younger generations, and not just survive on the few creaky old bastards in their 40s and older who haven't managed to escape or die yet?
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 12:50,
Reply)
Apparently the biggest purchasers of vinyl records these days are girls and young women,I think we just need to hope that noughties-era internet forums are the next big craze. Perhaps we should start making videos about our posts on TikTok.
(, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 12:58, Reply)
I forget which year, but Master of Turnips was frequently >1000 at some stage.I wonder if Easty made something of himself? He showed promise.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 12:55,
Reply)
Morning fellow /talkersit's nearly half way through the week.
How exciting is that?!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 8:27,
Reply)
good morning the LOVELY SM2(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 10:25,
Reply)
I have been offline most of the day But I appreciate your reply and am not ignoring you.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 20:51,
Reply)
2can works with 4 monitors, 4 monitors, 4 monitors.2can works with 4 monitors this fine day
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 11:38,
Reply)
Health service in cahoots with lizard people, confirms everything I suspected(, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 11:49, Reply)
Gloaming(
vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 21:44,
Reply)
gloam is a kind of gsoil isn't it? Silent g, as in gnome, with a ghardon(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 22:03,
Reply)
Are you gggggggggggggggggglithching(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 23:46,
Reply)
_
(_) -
'
@_ _ '
)\/(@ '
__(/ \--._
(,-.---'--'@
@ )0_0( _
glitch--('-') (_)
' _\Y/_
' .-'-\-/-'-._ '
_ / '* \ '
(_) /) * .-.))'
._/ \__*_ /\__'.
'
(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 23:55,
Reply)
_
(_) -
'
@_ _ '
)\/(@ '
__(/ \--._
(,-.---' --'@
gli @ ) 0_ 0( _
tch--( '- ') (_)
' _\ Y/_
' .-'-\-/-'-._ '
_ / '* \ '
(_) /) * .-.))'
._/ \__*_ /\__'.
'
(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 0:34,
Reply)
_
(_) -
'
@ _ _ '
)\ /( @ '
__(/ \ --._
(,-.---'--'@
g l i i i @ )0_. 0( _
t c h - - ( ' - ' ) (_)
' _ \Y /_
' .-'-\-/-'-._ '
_ / '* \ '
(_) /) * . - ) )'
._/ \_ _* _ / \ __'.
'
(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Wed 29 Apr 2026, 0:42,
Reply)
It's night time in Asia apparently. Gonna take some getting used to. Crazy Asians (
mongychops, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 15:53,
Reply)
The gooks hate the slopes, the chinks hate the japs.Where will it end?
(, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 16:20, Reply)
Dunno, they seem to change the names of places willy nilly, I can't go Ceylon anymore (
mongychops, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 16:35,
Reply)
What's the first sign of madness?Suggs walking up your garden path!!!
(, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 17:37, Reply)
alright, payday innit, might treat myself to 20 bennies(
broadsword, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 17:19,
Reply)
mo y' holla, mo i gon slap yo (
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 19:42,
Reply)
Blues song titles just aren't as good as they used to be.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 12:59,
Reply)
yrotagrup morf enipohfuckitI'mboredofthis(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 8:52,
Reply)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!kRrRRrrRrrAaAaaaAaAaaAaAaaAAAAaAaaaaaaaAaaaaAAvdRRRrrrRRrrrRrrRrRraAaAaAaAAaaAAaaAaaAAaAaaAaaAaAa
(, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 9:16, Reply)
It's ok, think good thoughts.Maybe Stuj will come back.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 9:37,
Reply)
Maybe the real Stuj was the penguins we fingered along the way.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 9:40,
Reply)
Finally, got your Penguin abuse confession.Sorry 'vark, they bribed me with Bourbons.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 9:46,
Reply)
Somehow I always knew it would come to thisDave "Judas" Trouser.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 9:57,
Reply)
Your face is a bumflake!(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 10:54,
Reply)
Kellogg's bumflakes turn the milk chocolatey.Well, brown, at any rate.
(, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 10:57, Reply)
"On 17 November 2024, Ed Balls made "Ed Balls" the first post on his Bluesky account."(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Tue 28 Apr 2026, 14:33,
Reply)
I think he's milking that, tbh.His Balls, I mean.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 28 Apr 2026, 20:13,
Reply)
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