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Culinary question 2.
A follow up from this

Of the following meats*:

1. Beef
2. Lamb
3. Pork (including bacon and other cured varieties)

Which one would you be able to live without?

*Chicken and turkey aren't included because they are silly meats --- the vegetables of the meat world as the boyfriend puts it.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

all of them
and I have done for the past 15 years
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Ahhh - I should have posed that question to the carnivores :)

(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

Lamb
at a push...
(

debar - Lord High Expositioner, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Lamb
Doesnt taste as good as the others, incredibly fatty, and also I feel slightly* bad about eating something that young.

*as in not very bad, but more so than anything else
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Lamb
it's definitely my favourite, but it's really hard to get (and expensive) in Holland, and the other two are more important as basic meats.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

Lamb
Because I eat it least often.

I did vegetarianism, it was silly, and I gave that nonsense up :D
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

Lamb.
Beef=steak
Pork=bacon
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:46, archived)

Lamb
is evil
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

How wrong you are
grill it with rosemary and garlic, and learn what proper meat is for.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:49, archived)

It is rank
and suitable only for beered up tossers to eat out of a pitta bread.

I'm a chicken and pork man really.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:58, archived)

If you think that there's much lamb in a takeaway kebab,
I suspect that you're sadly mistaken.

Lamb is a delicious meat, althought somewhat hard to digest (hence, it is often served with mint) - plays merry hell with my digestion system, since I all but gave up meat eating.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:02, archived)

true enough
I'm a sucker for chicken kebabs though. they even seem pretty healthy (apart from being mildly carcinogenic) - right up to the point where I drown it in coleslaw anyway.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:04, archived)

There is this Indian Kebab shop in Wycombe
that does the best chicken tikka kebabs I have ever tasted, cooked over this big clay oven, mmmmm *drooling*

Only slight problem is its right next to the worst chaviest nightclub, so its full of complete twats all the time. Plus the Asian mafia who get served first anyway.
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:08, archived)

Harsh :(
Get me one next time and stick it in the post would you?
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

I try to get there before the nightclub kicks out
its usually alright then.

Will do, hope you dont have a dog or a hungry postman.

ooh and the chili sauce, you could drink it on its own
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:18, archived)

The only kebab I've ever eaten,
was a chicken kebab, when I was in Munich. It was actually rather nice.
Only time I bought a "lamb" kebab, I was 18 and pissed out of my skull. Got the full works, then carried it home and fed it to the dog. Only evidence in the morning, was a lovely sauce stain on my favourite coat. :¬( Had "meat'n'chips" a couple of times since, but gave it up once I'd ordered it sober - pretty minging!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

I usually end up ordering a 12" jalapeno
and pepperoni pizza, eating almost all of it and waking up about 7 massively dehydrated and needing about 6 progressively nastier shits (the kind by the last 2 you are begging for a swift and merciful death and you're leaving blood on the toilet paper).

Every Saturday night.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:16, archived)

Mmm... jalapeños. Always keep a jar of those in the fridge.
Lovely. The whole, pickled ones that you can buy, are very nice too (delicacy of northern Spain, I believe).

Maybe you should nip in to the takeaway before you get pissed, and ask them to only make you an 8" when you come back later in the evening? Afterall, it's in their interests for you not to suffer some sort of anal prolapse.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:23, archived)

6 pints later
I'd be like "Oi, fuck you Stavros - I'll have 12" and cover the whole thing in chilli sauce and then deep fry it"
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:25, archived)

Pfft!
In that case, your bleeding ring will get no sympathy from me!

[edit: the idea of you demanding 12" from a man called Stavros, fills me with barely concealed delight.]
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:32, archived)

Probably lamb.
I don't like it any less than the other two, but I do eat less of it.
Bit of a moot point, to be honest, as I'm gradually turning vegetarian, anyway.

Anyone see that BBC2 prog about abbatoirs, last night? I only got as far as the sight of a pig being stunned and having a large knife rammed in its throat, before I had to switch over to something else.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:49, archived)

Me
I watched all of it. I think my comment afterwards was something along the lines of it hadn't put me off eating meat, but it had put me well and truly off the working classes.

;)
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:54, archived)

I agree with this.
It was faskinating though.
I'm pretty sure I couldn't do it, now. Which annoys me.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

Someone I spoke to
once put forward the opinion that "if you're not prepared to kill and prepare it yourself, you shouldn't eat it." I'd like to agree with him (there's no way I could slaughter and butcher my own pig - I can't even gut a fish without wanting to throw up), but my weak willpower means that I can't - animals just taste too damned nice! So, assuaging my guilt in the middle class way, I kid myself that organically reared animals don't mind being killed for my benefit.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

I believe I have put forward this theory to you
in a debate about meat eating. I subscribe to it. This is why I only eat spiders, wasps and hookers.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:03, archived)

Quite probably,
although I was thinking of a skinny, bald fellow that I met at a wedding, last year.

I find hookers to be awfully tough, and like nothing better than tucking in to a nice juciy nerd - the fatter, the better.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:06, archived)

unless it was a fat, bald fellow
it weren't me. although considering the number of weddings I was at last year, it's more than likely ... perhaps I was having a "slim" day ;)
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:08, archived)

You're not a geordie, are you?
Like all other geordies I've ever met, he was skinny and bald. I think they must all have an overactive metabolism, to cope with all the brown ale.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

Pffft!

(

Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:06, archived)

I agree with this theory
However, social services have pointed out to me that the willingness to kill ones food need only be theoretical.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:08, archived)

Yeah, the cow having it's throat slit
was hard going. They seemed very interested in the workers. The chap who was the cleaner seemed to be OK.
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

Both the cleaners
seemed alright actually. Scary the number of the young guys who had had a parent die.

It made me sad. I did not come away from it worrying about the animals though.
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:09, archived)

Lamb.
And, in answer to a question you have yet to ask, cream crackers.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

Is the as yet unasked question,
what do you keep in your wallet?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:54, archived)

or
what's that under your foreskin?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

At a push, lamb
because it's an occasional luxury. The other two are ingredients of loads of things.
I use chicken much more often than beef though.
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

Lamb
I couldn't cope without my pork products! (I don't really like roast pork, but give me bacon, sausage, ham, gammon, pork pies, crackling, scratching, black pudding etc etc any day of the week).
And roast beef with yorkshire puds and all the other trimmings is just gorgeous.
(

Fergburger, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

Don't like roast pork?!
Not even a traditional hog roast, with a slice off the roatating carcass, served in a sandwich with some nice apple sauce? Madness...
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:04, archived)

Lamb
Bacon, and a nice rare steak win every time

Although a nice lamb stew with tender meat can be unbelievbly tasty
(Naughty Tortoise, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:06, archived)

Lamb
Bacon, and a nice rare steak win every time

Although a nice lamb stew with tender meat can be unbelievable tasty
(Naughty Tortoise, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:06, archived)

Wireless
the conversation below reminded me to order a wireless router...

Any makes / models you can recommend me to get or steer clear of ?
(

Mrfishfinger .com, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:39, archived)

I have a 3-Com one
and its been flawless so far. Wasnt that expensive either.
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

^This.
Ebay was good to me :)
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

I know nothing about hardware
but based on my cultural knowledge garnered from Saturday morning TV, I'd avoid ACME.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Well
The falt is usually with the user there...
(

Mrfishfinger .com, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

Yes
Stay away from Fisher Price or Tomy. They're built well, but have a very basic spec and are over-priced.

The new V-Tech ones are supposed to be quite snazzy - especially the 'My First Wireless LAN Setup'. It has an instructional video hosted by Barney the Dinosaur.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

mine is lansys
and we've had no problems with it
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

My Linksys Wag54G
has been a bit hit or miss so I'd avoid. You have ADSL or cable? I need to get a new router for my cable connection and after extensive research I'm going for a Belkin one.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

THANKS GRAN
I've always wanted a HAND-KNITTED GIMP SUIT:

quarterbar.brinkster.net/pics/grandmamadeyousomethingspecial.jpg

is that gc?
(

biscuits_alive taste my rainbow, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:27, archived)

Yes.
But always worth a revisit.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

thats
fucking brilliant!

*calls heaven*
"Hi Gran. I want one of these..."

edit; I'm still laughing at these.
(

Jobe, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:30, archived)

I've not seen that before
What sort of sick, elderly mind would come up with this sort of filth?

Do they want a job?
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:31, archived)

Kill it
before it breeds.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

Scary to think people
actually send their kids to school in those.

/tramuatisedforlifeblog
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:33, archived)

Wow.
20 meters is a lot longer in real life.

/just bought a Lan cable blog
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:14, archived)

I've taken to wiring up my own
and feeling really smug about it afterwards.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:16, archived)

I hate wiring up cables
but it does make you feel very manly and technical.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:19, archived)

my room
looks like Dr. Who's tardis if he decided to re-wire the thing and got halfway before getting bored
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

get WiFi

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:22, archived)

i would
but a really long cable is 5% of the price
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:24, archived)

I only went wireless
when there 4 of us over 2 floors in the house. Before that I just dragged CAT5 every where :) It's cheaper and generally better tbh. Now I've got the kit though I'll stick with it.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:27, archived)

2 year olds
cant bite through wireless networks.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

I dislike wireless.
Cat5 everywhere is the way to go. Except for laptops. Laptops are better with wireless.

/has an 8-port switch in bedroom
(

so long and thanks for all the fish, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

Run your CAT5
next to your power cables and you have a 50-50 chance they won't do it again.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

arf!
My dog learnt the "Dont chew the power cables lesson" the hard way
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

The "All Dogs Go to Heaven" way?
:'(
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:39, archived)

Oh no
she was fine(ish) just got a hellofa shock and never went near them again.
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:45, archived)

My home network
is wireless.

And comprises of one computer.

Plus occaisional visits from my work laptop.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

Wifi is wonderful stuff.
It allows you to sit in the garden with the lappy if you so desire, in the toilet.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

Lock yourself in the toilet
when you download videos of stoats fisting toads in leather.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:31, archived)

Exactly
Christ, putting up shelves and I get a boner for how great I am.

My dad built a second house in his spare time ffs.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:25, archived)

It's a sad fact of life
that however manly you are, your dad is always more manly.

There's probably some kind of mathematic formula that spotty little vrigin nerds could dream up.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:28, archived)

Looks like bad news for the future of mankind

(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

'tis why
there are more and more gayers in every generation.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

At 35mph
that's about how far you have to think, react and stop your vehicle. In perfect conditions.

If it's raining, it would take you that far to stop at about 15 mph. If it was icy it would take that far at less than 4mph.

/smug
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:17, archived)

Yes yes well done

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:19, archived)

:D
You'll get to laugh when I fail the practical. Leave me to my moment of glory.

*flounces*
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

oooh that vaguely reminds me
we'd better decide when we're going to do our tank day cos we'll run out of time otherwise
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:21, archived)

TAAAAAAAAANKS!

(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:27, archived)

'vere is the kaboom? There is always a kaboom...'

(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:30, archived)

You can now do
LAN enbabled stuff on your roof. Yes.
EDIT: like go to www.orbdesign.net/bt/
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:17, archived)

I can now do lan enabled stuff
from the corner shop down the road.

YES!
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:18, archived)

metres.

Unless you're a merkin.

Edit: and unless you're talking about a device for measuring flow, electricity, etc.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:18, archived)

really?
Hmm that's a less common one!
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:19, archived)

not exactly
it's very much like centre
(

sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

Swap or Swop
When you exchange something for another thing do you swap or swop(I'm sure when I was taught to spell it was swap), but I keep seeing people spell it swop.

Can someone please clear things up for me
Or just make smutty jokes. Either is fine.
(A bit Manchester, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:06, archived)

I don't think swop is a word

/edit I'm mistaken... http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=swop
(Christopsy, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

swap
though it's probably those kerazy merkins who spell it swop
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

Swap.
Swapsies.
(

grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/618702
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:08, archived)

Swap
Swop is the Americanism.
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:08, archived)

according to cocktionary.com, swop is "chiefly british"

but what the fcuk do they know?
(Christopsy, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:10, archived)

That surprises me.
As far as I can remember, I've only ever seen swap in British writing and swop in American writing.
Although that might be wrong, because the Americanism for swap is usually 'trade'.
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:12, archived)

Swop is old Brit
as far as I've ever seen it - 19thC and pre-war.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:24, archived)

Hmmm
Okay, I'm probably remembering things wrong.
edit: swap is still the correct modern English spelling IMO.
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:01, archived)

People these days
spell like cunts.

It's because of the proliferation of mobile phones and txt mssging.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:09, archived)

I think you'll find...
...it's the proliferation of cunts that are the problem.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:10, archived)

I like cunts.
Especially prolific ones.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:13, archived)

I find I am unable
to disagree with you.

If only we could dress them as baby seals and leave them on ice floes at just the right time of year.....
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:14, archived)

swop
www.swop.org.au/

You are an Australian prostitute aren't you?
(

Fergburger, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:09, archived)

Ahh god bless pedantry
right i'm off to slap the fool who wrote swop in all his emails to me.

/tenuous violence justification
(A bit Manchester, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:10, archived)

Swap swop for swap.
It's easy to remember if you use this rhyme:

Swap backwards is paws not pows.
Bum wanky wibble flip cows.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

^this
made me chuckle.
(

grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

Sometimes
you are very fucking funny :D
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:15, archived)

It's when I use
my humour harnessing head cloak.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:18, archived)

Fetching :P

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

t l
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

Hmmmm
Salty.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

TGMTFRH

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

That
Guts My Trout For Reasons Hunknown?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:22, archived)

That
Greives my tennants flaccid rhino helmet.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:25, archived)

cow tipping?

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:19, archived)

Like fly tipping
but much much bigger.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:21, archived)

Haha

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:21, archived)

Today has made me realise
that the board is populated 50-50 with effete culinary poofters and people who eat meat and chips and tomato sauce.

I like a sausage sandwich on white bread with a little dash of mankymonkeysman-milk myself.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:04, archived)

Oh no no no no no`
I like all good food. Especially good fry ups. I just sneer at bad quality food. Macdonalds? Vomit. A good burger? Genius :D
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

Actually
without coming across as a complete chav hopefully, I think McDs gets a bit of a bad rap. Just now and then if I'm out on the bike I fancy a double cheeseburger - 99p, they sell enough that what you get is usually fresh and it hits the spot.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

McDs
is a fucking good cure for a hangover.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:13, archived)

I can't bear it
Although weirdly I (very) occasionally crave a Filet O'Fish with ketchup, chips and a stawberry milkshake.

I last had one 2 years ago and it was a huge let down. I'd rather have a proper chippy :D
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:14, archived)

I like McDonalds on occasion.

(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:16, archived)

I was never a huge fan of McDonalds but,
since I read Fast Food Nation a few years ago, I won't touch the stuff. At a push, I'll eat at Burger King, but only if there's no viable alternatives (i.e. when I'm at a motorway service stop in the middle of the night).

Not to mention the fact that even setting foot in a MaccyD's marks you out as a Burberry-wearing numnut of the highest order.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:16, archived)

I have also consciously avoided
fast food chains since reading that.

/on your side, brother
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

It was the "there's shit in the meat!" comment
that did it for me, although I'd been a bit wary ever since a tour of their kitchens, when I was a nipper.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:27, archived)

^This.
Super Size Me was the thing that confirmed that McD was truely evil, rather than just being evil.

Fish and chips are my sole takeaway vice. Making your own burgers is a far nicer way to do things.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:20, archived)

Speaking of which,
I must have another go at homemade veggie burgers.
Thanks for jogging my memory!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:29, archived)

I'm not being snobby
I've just never eaten anything from McDonalds that rated much above goat cock in the scale of things.

/remains silent on love for goat cock.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:18, archived)

It's fair enough
I just have survived the majority of my adult life on Ginsters pasties and pre-packed sandwiches (not because I travel a lot - just because I'm lazy). Most of their stuff is crap, but at times fast, warm crap is a good alternative.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

Without wanting to start a fight*,
what's ~~more "elite"~~ worse? [sorry, misread you.]
Liking whatever tastes nice even if you might get called a poofter, or being an inverted snob whenever anyone lets slip they like 'ponce' food?

* honest
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

with~~out~~
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:09, archived)

Do you liek horses though ?
Or is your apparent gayness just a front ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:12, archived)

I like food that tastes nice
and constattly berate my reflection in the mirror, for being such a ponce.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:17, archived)

The differance is that everyone can afford to eat egg n chips every day
But not everyone can afford to eat poncey food every day
(Naughty Tortoise, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:35, archived)

Poncy doesn't equal nice.
Just as affordability doesn't mean 'mystery meat' burgers.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

I agree
The idea of 'reverse snobby' just seems ridiculous to me, snobbery invovles lording something you can have over someone who can't have it.

Robin Johnson, you are a grade A wanker.
(Naughty Tortoise, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

Reverse snobbery
is calling someone a poofter because they like olives.

edit: I don't often take things to the level of personal insults though. I did yesterday and I wish I hadn't.
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

No, it's not
Frankly though, I can't be bothered to get into an argument over an internet messageboard
(Naughty Tortoise, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 15:03, archived)

For the record,
I certainly can't.
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:57, archived)

*makes hilarious comment about your sexuality involving the words 'cumberland' and 'ring'*
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

*pretends to laugh*
*cries*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:10, archived)

A bit of both, then
I am as effete as they get. And they get effete.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:10, archived)

Effete poof
*mocks*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:11, archived)

*enjoys nice food*

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:26, archived)

I'm shortsighted and wear glasses.
I'm thinking of getting the laser treatment to correct it. Anybody had this done, and is it any good? Are there any problems?

Of course, I could just stand closer to things and save two grand.
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

Contacts?
/middle ground
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:59, archived)

Seconded
They're a bugger but I do quite like mine :)

/speccy four eyes
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:00, archived)

Wor lass got it done
and now she can see the future, which is good. Unfortunately, she can only see her own death, which is bad.
(

Geordie Al, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:00, archived)

She is Owen Meany
AICMFP
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:01, archived)

the whole idea of that scares me
my sight is far too important to me to risk something going wrong
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:00, archived)

Two words
Contact Lenses
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:01, archived)

Two words?
Where?
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:02, archived)

Probably not worth it,
unless wearing glasses or contacts is having a detrimental effect on your quality of life.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:02, archived)

Why?

(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:05, archived)

No surgical procedure is risk free,
and I really can't see the point in going through with it if you're fine as you are.

Just my opinion, of course.

Not only that, but glasses are sexy.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:08, archived)

It makes your bollocks
swell up and act like hot air balloons and you float into the sun and you burn and you die.

Otherwise, no, it's completely safe.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:02, archived)

First thing to make me laugh all day
even the cripple I saw falling out of her wheelchair onto a kitten wasnt as funny as that.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:07, archived)

My missus had it done and after the initial month or so of wearing plastic
eye-patches to bed she found it was the best money she's ever spent.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:05, archived)

You are a pirate fetishist
AICMFP
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:09, archived)

Yarrrrr!

TGMTPOE
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:12, archived)

I know three people who've had it done
and they're all overjoyed with it, all say it's well worth the money.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:06, archived)

Aside from the £2000 damage to the wallet
Have you looked into the side effects of the treatement? It might not correct your vision either.

I'm lucky that I have quite an honest optician who did try to give me the contact lenses sell, but then quickly realised that I'm one of those lasses who look better with glasses. On an entirely seperate note, glasses are quite sexy, if you have a nice pair of specs for your face.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:06, archived)

I don't have the face for the specs.
:)
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:10, archived)

Contacts then.
Unless you are -10 dioptre and are techincally registered blind in terms of short sightedness, in which case, go for the laser surgery --- they might get you down to sensible glasses level rather than the bases of two beer bottles :)
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

This, most definately.
I feel quite vindicated, as yours is the opinion of a qualified medical professional, and not just an NHS cleric (i.e. me).
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:12, archived)

I, too, am an NHS cleric.
I never did trust those bastards in the white coats.
◎_◎
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:14, archived)

I spent too long working with opticians,
to ever feel comfortable trusting them again.

My advice when it comes to eyes, is to go see an independant practitioner - all the large companies seem to be corrupt, only interested is extracting as much money as possible from you, for teatments that you probably don't need.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:21, archived)

I just spent the best part of half an hour making sausage sandwiches.
Defrosted the posh german rolls, nice irish sausages, topped with cheese and red onion, with a dollop of mayonaise.

Walked through into my office, and dropped all the cunts on the twatting floor.

Still eat them like.
(

grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

Eating sausage sarnies off the floor
doesn't make you heterosexual. Unless you killed the pig with your bare hands.
(

Geordie Al, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

Where the hell do you work?
My company has a microwave and a kettle.
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

Ahhh, I work from home.
So I can sit in my pants all day.
(

grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:59, archived)

Ahhh
living the dream.

I am extremly jealous, but I would never get dressed/bath or get any work done. And probably go insane and declare myself King.
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:01, archived)

Mr V works from home
and he always has a shower and gets dressed before going up to his office
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:04, archived)

Good for him.
I just know I couldnt, I fall under both catagories of Lazy and Slob.
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:06, archived)

Yep same here, I work what hours I want to,
so it's get up at 1-2ish, do a bit of work, eat a load of unhealthy food, beer, meet the mrs, go to bed.
(

grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:09, archived)

I get to work in scrubs...
...which is the next best thing to working nekkid.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:06, archived)

Culinary question.
What do the people of the board prefer:

1. Black olives
2. Green olives
3. Sun-dried tomato?
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:50, archived)

All of the above.
And a cheeseburger.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:51, archived)

4. Big slabs of meat

(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:51, archived)

This

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:54, archived)

roasted
with gravies
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

No.
Raw and bloody and straight from the writhing corpse of a freshly slaughtered pig.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:06, archived)

Oh - I have a question about meat which I'll ask later.

(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

anything to do with this?
www.b3ta.com/talk/618730

and muchly congratulations
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:59, archived)

Cheers m'dears :)
No - the meat question came out of the vast quanitites of barbeque that my boyfriend and his flatmate enjoy.

I just have to think of how to word it succinctly :)
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:09, archived)

Well olives are fucking rank.
So i'll have to go with the tomatoes.
(

grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:51, archived)

I couldn't have put it better myself

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:53, archived)

black
green tomatos.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

mmmmm
Green & Blacks
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:53, archived)

Green stuffed with anchovies.
By the handful.
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

Green olives on their own
Black olives in sauces, on pizzas, in sandwiches.
Sundried tomatoes in other sandwiches.

All great :D
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

this
but with black and green the other way around.

and try feta stuffed chilli peppers from sainsbury's. yum yum and indeed, yum.
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:54, archived)

The market here
has a couple of Turkish and Maroccan stalls. They do this. Lots.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:59, archived)

This

and tits and fanny.
/b3ta talk
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:55, archived)

Well yes

And cock and balls and hip bones ;)
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

hip bones?
have you been grinding again?
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

*gazes*
yes and hip bones
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

Meh
I don't think I have any (visable) hip bones :(

*Becomes beulemic*
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:59, archived)

Everyone does
when they're lying down. And when you're close enough.

If they're too skinny you get bruises.
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:02, archived)

You can borrow mine
I only use them to hang my jeans off.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:02, archived)

a mixture of all three
I have to go back to work in a minute so shall jack ths for farwell *hug*
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

Hallo and goodbye
:)
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:54, archived)

you are Marc Almond...
...AICMFP
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

*fops*

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

Ah
I was going more for the Pigeon Street Hallo! Goodbye! Hallo! Good Bye. Every daaaaaaaay..
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:57, archived)

Green olives
stuffed with pimento peppers :)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:53, archived)

Out of what's on offer
the tomato.

But overall I prefer norks.

And minges.

And Pie.

And free money.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:53, archived)

and hookers
and blackjack
(

blinder back for good, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

Baby seal face
in a whale blubber sauce.
(

Geordie Al, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:55, archived)

Depends on the situation.
If we're just talking about eating them on their own, it'd have to be green olives for me but, for a great tomato sauce for pasta, sundried tomatoes and black olives are equally great. On overall volume consumed, it'd probably be black olives.

Why?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:55, archived)

I added whole black olives into a ragu-type sauce
And it makes it taste rather lully. But green olives don't really have the same effect, and sun-dried tomatoes are always great.

But there are those who don't like the olive of either colour, and I guess I was rather curious about the olive/tomato feeling on the board.

I'm being silly, in other words.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

Oh, right.
I thought you might have been is the midst of some sort of culinary crisis, but it sounds like you made the right decision.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:05, archived)

I used to go for the black olive in tomato-based sauces in a big way
...but recently, I've gone for a creme fraiche in tomato and basil sauce sort of approach.

It's rather good with cous cous in fact --- that was surprising...
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:12, archived)

Mmm, creamy tomato sauce with basil is very good,
but I'm not sure I'd want it with couscous, out of choice.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:23, archived)

I just had the cous cous lurking around and thought, what the hell, why not?
It's surprisingly nice, though next time I do that, it's going to be a lamb-based tomato-type thing with cous cous.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:26, archived)

Sounds more like it.
Couscous is nice, but only when flavoured properly, otherwise it's just packing material.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

2.
Although good black olives are probably better than good green olives.
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:59, archived)

Arse
I just noticed my drawing pencil split near the center.

*goes to find new HB*
(Psychosomatic Tumor Laugh your life cause there ain't much to cry for, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:46, archived)

is that the artist's equivalent of
a broken nail?
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:48, archived)

you consider HB to be a drawing pencil??
HB is for writing with. try something softer like a 2B for drawing
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:49, archived)

or not
2B, that is a question.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:50, archived)

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
"I'll draw a sketch of thee.
What kind of pencil shall I use,
2B or not 2B?"
/Spike Milligan
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:00, archived)

I had a left handed mate
that used to write everything in blunt 2b pencil. It was just one big smudge when he was done.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:55, archived)

you're off to find a new hairy bum?
*sniggers behind hand*
(

expf, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:51, archived)

I need to make trophies for an office bowling competition.
They have to be cheap, shitty and afford me the opportunity to cover them in glitter and stuff.
How should I set about it, oh wonderful ones?
Any ideas?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:36, archived)

depends how cheap and shitty
empty cereal boxes or a trophy shape cut out of MDF and stuck on a base
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:38, archived)

Oooooh.
I like this idea.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:39, archived)

Sculpt them out of your own faeces
it gives a personal touch

*edit* Ooooh I thought you said boweling
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:38, archived)

buy a dog ball.
scoop three holes out of it with a pen-knife.

stick ball to piece of wood.

apply paint and glitter.

/blue peter
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:38, archived)

Tescos value mugs.
Tinfoil.
Glue.
Glitter.
Marker pen.

....

Profit
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:38, archived)

GLITTER PENS!
that is all
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:42, archived)

1) Take "glitter", "shit" & "stuff"
2) Cover "shit" in glitter.
3) Mount glittery shit on "stuff"
4) ...
5) Present trophy to proud winner
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:40, archived)

Buttplugs and cockgags
made of lemonade bottles.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:41, archived)

WTF is a 'cockgag'?

I must be slipping in my old age.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

i think he means a ball-gag

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:47, archived)

no
it's like a ball-gag only dildo shaped
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:50, archived)

you
seem to know lots about this.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:51, archived)

research for when I'm writing
honest guv
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:55, archived)

Furry muff
Though I was watching some ~~pr0n~~ educational material the other day and this woman was using a leather cuff that fit round the scrotum and then had weights attached to it on the bloke. Hadn't seen that before.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

it's supposed to delay ejaculation

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:54, archived)

~~in my old age~~ into a young thai rent boy
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:48, archived)

Three cocks go into a pub....

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:48, archived)

web.ukonline.co.uk/stephen.clarke/wtgcock.jpg
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:51, archived)

"cockgags"?
As in "I didn't really want a 12 inch pianist"?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:49, archived)

That's one of the first gags I told when I started working here
No wonder they hold me in such high regard.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

Use chickenwire mesh
to make a mold of yourself or one of your cow-orkers; cover the mesh with papier mache; once dry, decorate to your liking with felt-tip pens, glitter and dry pasta.
After the tournament, stick a picture of the winners face on the head of the trophy, for that personal touch.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:42, archived)

Build it out of frozen fish fingers
wrapped in tin foil.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:46, archived)

afternoon
god i hate the internet cafe in macdonalds. You'll hve to excuse the typing - i needed stodge :)
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:31, archived)

Internet cafe in McDonalds?
What sort of half-breed McDonalds Restaurants do they have in Manchesterland?

Internet cafe in McDonalds, indeed...
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:33, archived)

What she means is...
...that being of the manc persuasion she's stolen someone's laptop and Mcdonalds is a wireless hotspot.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:36, archived)

Ah! I thought it sounded too outlandish.
You'll have to explain what you mean more clearly next time.

Our kid.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:37, archived)

damn
you caught me
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:39, archived)

it's one of those shit ones
with metal keyboards :(

In other news i have train tickets for a weekend with Badger so it's not all bad.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:36, archived)

aaaaaaargh!
I just coughed with a mouthful of hot lemonade and honey and the pain this has caused to my tonsils is indescribable. they are definitely getting worse...

my tonsils on Sunday
my tonsils on Monday
my tonsils today
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:27, archived)

Shiver my timbers
that is cocking horrible
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:30, archived)

you should try
having them in your throat
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:32, archived)

I bet you say that to all the boys

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:35, archived)

Ouch
yours are now worse than mine were back in May.

*empathises*

I had a space about the size of a 5p peice to breathe/drink through, yours look worse than that now.

I didnt start getting better till the Dr gave me steroids, Anti B's did fuck all for me (Not even the horn)
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:40, archived)

AntiB's do lower the effectiveness of the contraceptive pill....
... so in a roundabout sort of way, they kind of do give you the horn. Or get you preggers, in any case.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

I can't take the pill anyway

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:56, archived)

cuts them out with a rusty penknife.
/sore.
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:32, archived)

*snuggles*
do you need nursing?
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:33, archived)

Twelve quid an hour if she does!
Dammit woman pimp me out PROPERLY!
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:34, archived)

but I wanted to play nursey this time :(

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:37, archived)

You don't fit my uniform

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:39, archived)

you in scrubs...
...
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:40, archived)

you can both nurse me
provided you wear matching outfits
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:40, archived)

I only have theone set of scrubs...
....how abou I wear the top and she wears the bottoms?
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:41, archived)

perfect solution
what will I wear?
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:44, archived)

absoutely nothing
*gazes*
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

A pained expression?

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

that would only be
if they were doing things other than nursing me
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:51, archived)

*faints*

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:45, archived)

Scrubs --- the clothing of the gods....
As comfy as jim-jams, with all the perks of actually being uniform :D
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:49, archived)

Oh yes.
Plus ALL of the girlies in the outsized ones bending over.

NOT that I do...I'm FAR too professional for that.

How's the exams going miss?
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

I passed!
I've paid the GMC, so I'm officially a doctor now :)

The advantages of which currently are; getting loans from the bank are a piece of piss once you change your title :)

Starting off in surgery for 6 months, which should be exciting :)
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:54, archived)

Woo!
Go you!

*looks foward to bleeping you on a night shift and patronising you at some point*
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:58, archived)

Ooooh - that is naawty!
:P
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:00, archived)

You won't be saying that at 4 in the morning...
...the conversation would probably go...

Me : hello *ward name*
You : On call calling
Me : can you come down and see Mr x he's doing thins and I'd therefore like you to prescribe this, this, take this, insert that and now please.

You : can't it wait until the day guys come on
Me : it COULD but *consultants name* wouldn't be very happy about it..
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:05, archived)

I think my reply could be quite incoherent and consist of a vague reply of mews...
:)
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:10, archived)

That's the kind of house officres we like on nights...
...we bleep you, we hide the cakes to stop you nicking them, you come down, find the cakes and scoff them, sign the prescription card, go back to bed, we carry on.

and tell the reg how efficient and prompt you are.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 14:17, archived)

be careful
my friend used to get really bad tonsilitis and we once had to take him to hospital cos his throat virtually closed up so he couldn't breath. which was fun.
(

Fergburger, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:33, archived)

Do gooders like you
are stopping the evolution of mankind.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:35, archived)

that hppened to me
it was very embarassing
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:38, archived)

I've told that I'll warn you next time I'm going to come
It'll NEVER end like that aggain.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:40, archived)

fanta/monitor interface

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:41, archived)

So,
this is how it feels to be Dennis Quaid...
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:33, archived)

What happened to Dennis Quaid?

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:42, archived)

Don't you remember
Innerspace?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:52, archived)

*Gets
the horn*
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:33, archived)

that's like a porno
with "cock-cam"
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:34, archived)

*doesn't click*
Sympathy.
Have you got DRUGS for it?
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:37, archived)

aye
double dose of penicillin cos the doctor said "yuck, that's particularly nasty"
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:41, archived)

Blimey.
A friend of mine had that last week, along with an infected wisdom tooth.

He didn't get out of bed for 3 days --- that said, penicillin is lully stuff, and once on that, he was better within 3 days.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:46, archived)

NOoooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
*pens suicide note*
www.digitaljesters.co.uk/index.php?txtShow=product&ref=33
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:56, archived)

penis suicide?

(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:58, archived)

I tried choking myself to death with it once,
but reconsidered at the last moment.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

ALWAYS...
....that one vertebrae stopping you bending enough eh?
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

Did I say it was my penis?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:19, archived)

You couldn't do it with Mykey's...
...his has got a hole in it at the side like biros do to prevent chokage.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

I wouldn't like to be his cleaner

(

Enigmatic ™ Voice No More ©, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

You'd need to wear waders to get through...
...the fast food packages and moist, slightly warmm used hankies.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:32, archived)

*bleaches*

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:34, archived)

Only after she's picked up all of the above...
....does she then bleach all the surfaces.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:37, archived)

cutting it off
and eating it woud have been a little drastic. Why not have a wank whilst strangling yourself instead?

/michael hutchence
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:20, archived)

I hope for his sake
it was a bloody good wank.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

it was
to die for, apparently.
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:22, archived)

I think
that if you dont buy it, it wont be able to annoy you.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:59, archived)

It will annoy me every time I go into Game...
....with little chavvy kids begging their mum and mum's boyfriend for it.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

Really now
Aren't you someone's mum's boyfriend?
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:04, archived)

Don't be pedantic /edit or argumentative
Just let me enjoy my ~~utter hypocrisy and snobbery~~ rants in peace.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

I very nearly responded to that with
"I'm not being pedantic, I'm being argumentative."

Then I did.
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

Is that response
pedantic or argumentative?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

That response is pedantic.
The original response was argumentative, not pedantic (I wasn't arguing about the details of anything, just objecting to what he wrote.)
I can't believe I'm having this conversation.
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

I can.
Easily.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:20, archived)

You wouldn't be you if you weren't.

I think.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:23, archived)

I may be going out on a limb here,
but I don't think that that will be one of the better games released this year.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

How can you say that?
"Over 8 playable characters including the one and only Crazy Frog and unlock many more!"

I wonder what noise his car will make...
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

I wonder if they'll have to give it a 15 Certificate,
due to gratuitous frog willy.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

frogs have penises?
why didn't my government shelter me from this information? My life is besmirched forever!

Seriously..kids probably just think frogs have black rectangular cocks.
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:25, archived)

8 playable characters...
....including crazy frog...

...who are the others I'm Mad Me Sparrow?
Mildly Eccentric Ocelot?
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

schizo the squirrel?
March Hare?
Jeremy Beadle?
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

I'll wager good money
that you'll get Sweetey the Chick and Nessie the Dragon, along with 5 other "favourites" from the Jamster downloads.

Sounds like heaven...
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:29, archived)

I think you'll find it's "Over 8 playable characters..."
8.5? 9? 12?

Fuckwits.
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:29, archived)

10 million

(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:35, archived)

Can't wait for all THOSE ringtones
to hit the streets...
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:43, archived)

Fuck!
Their use of plethora is amusing, though.
(

Bob Todd whee, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:37, archived)

Happy happy summer fun time!
I'd forgotten how smashing and summery the La's eponymous album is. Talented bunch of thieving scally cunts that they are/were.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

I hadn't.
If only you'd asked.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:56, archived)

Ta.
What else have I forgotten that you haven't?
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:59, archived)

Your wife's birthday
and the look on your father's face as he reaches the vinegar strokes.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:01, archived)

Steve Martin
used to make really funny films.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

Do you remember where I left my special purpose?

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:09, archived)

Next to your
Round Tuit.

/70s humour
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:13, archived)

Shit,
Shinola.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:13, archived)

I saw a porpoise on the ferry to Skye
it made me happy.

Carry on.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

I'm going up to Skye soon.
If I don't see a porpoise I will be slightly jealous and will rain down furious vengeance upon your soul for all of eternity.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:16, archived)

Fair play
It looked really nice. We just skirted across it as a short cut. Ferry from Mallaig and then over the bridge to Kyle Mclaughlin (or whatever it's called). Don't expect much in the way of roads!
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:19, archived)

Roads?
Where we're going, we don't need...roads.

*lowers space-aged sunglasses*
(

Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

I'm not a huge fan of the place
it's normally draped with merkin tourists.
But the missus has never been up there and it's sort of obligatory for a quickie tour of the west highlands and islands.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

This place we stopped at near Pitlochry
was the worst for pandering to yank tourists. They didn't have toilets, they had "cloakrooms" with fucking flush-urinals.

You should be able to avoid the merkins with a bit of luck though.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:29, archived)

Kyle of Lochalsh
I have an odd uncle who lives there, if he's still alive
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:23, archived)

For the entire time I was up there and navigating
it was Kyle McLaughlin and it's staying that from now on ;)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:26, archived)

I thought the ferry had stopped running
after the big PFI bridge opened?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:18, archived)

Ferry from Mallaig
it saved having to do about 100+ miles round in a circle.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:22, archived)

"Kitten juggling?!?"

(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:16, archived)

Did they do
74, 75 or whatever it was called?

Not heard that in years...
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:57, archived)

Pfft!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:58, archived)

I was your wanna let you know?
I think that was The Connellys. Some American band with a surname.

The Las were Scouse indy 60s-revivalists in the early 90s, when you were still little.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:59, archived)

oh aye
could have been them
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:59, archived)

Connells
I have that somewhere..

The Las did that 'There she goes' didn't they?
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

Yes
although you're old enough to remember that.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:04, archived)

Yes alright
Grandad
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

It was possibly played
at your graduation. Or retirement. Or the birth of your third grandchild.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:10, archived)

Ah that's where I was getting confused
possibly.

Not sure why. I remember There She Goes anyway.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:08, archived)

it was the connells
the La's song you are most likely to have heard is "there she goes"

/this post brought to you by dubious MOR meerkan family bands inc.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

*glares dubiously*

(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:04, archived)

*zips up hurridly*
what? just a little mindpiss... :P
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:05, archived)

Man I was too busy ROCKING OUT
at the time (or possibly looking for pubes)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

Your own?

(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:06, archived)

It depends how early in the 90s
there's not much of a time difference between finding you have some and wanting to look at those in possession of the opposite gender.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:10, archived)

Haha
Or taking a sip of Cinzano and then hopelessly overacting in an attempt to prove how pissed you were.

Ah, memories.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

Cinzano?
Gosh, weren't you a posh underage drinker?
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:11, archived)

My mate's parents
had a minibar.

It was the eighties.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

we drank martini
cos it was £3.99 a litre
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:15, archived)

we drank babycham
because it was the easiest thing to nick from my mate's mum's pub
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:18, archived)

that was
The Rembrants wasn't it?
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:59, archived)

That rings a bell
aye.

I may have to get my hands on that.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:01, archived)

You'll need both of them to grasp it properly, no doubt...
*runs*
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

it was The Connells
my sister-in-law has it I think
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:03, archived)

It was.
Has it been used for an advert or a film theme? I'm sure I've heard it recently.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

You have mail ;)

(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

Hehe ta :)

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:24, archived)

They did the
Friends theme tune. Dreadful too..
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:11, archived)

That was the Connells
and is my download selection of the day. (yesterday it was It's orrible being in love when you're 8 'n 'alf so think yourself lucky)

7475.mp3
(

ahhh I remember Claire and Friends
I was ten and a half at the time
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:07, archived)

Did you want a link for Claire?

(

Bless your heart :)
Any chance you could change the extension or zip it so I can get it at work?
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:12, archived)

it's an mp3, with a .mp3 extension, should work everywhere.
(in theory)

Anyone else having problems?
(

No I mean I can't get it through my firewall!
:)

Edit: Apparently I can. Never mind - cheers!
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:16, archived)

god's teeth
it's even more soppy and sugary than I remembered

pass me my insulin
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:19, archived)

Haha
I've not heard this in about 9 years. Ace :D
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:20, archived)

oh ok
~~2 minutes to upload a zip version~~ not done
(

Nono
I'm sorted sorry. I never used to be able to d/l mp3s direct. Maybe my copy of FF I shouldn't have installed has confused them.

Ta everso.... it's great :)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:21, archived)

I have ginger beer.

(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:58, archived)

Give all of.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:00, archived)

I have ginger hair
though it came out of a bottle
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:00, archived)

Hang on...
you didn't leave the bottle on the coffee table did you?
(

Newington, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:01, archived)

Is this your impression
of a pidgin speaking cockney coming out ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:01, archived)

You know
I dont think I've started a single thread today.

I just cant think of anything interesting enough to justify it.

*pokes newt in the eye with badgers cock*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:49, archived)

What you need,
is one of these.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:52, archived)

Spazmo
that's a spaz and a mo.

You're like a spaz who goes up to men belming and asks them for hot bumsex.

And gets it.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:55, archived)

Never stopped you before.

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:52, archived)

Good point well made
*rims*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:54, archived)

pfft

many a true word spoken in jest.
(

Oh I see
all coming out of the woodwork to stab me in the eye now eh ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:56, archived)

I'm your Venus,
I'm your fire, your desire.

Now if you could help me down from this mountaintop, I'm getting a bit giddy.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:53, archived)

*generic insult to your sexuality*
*probably involving hairy manbums*
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:57, archived)

Hooray!
my broadband's been upgraded to 1meg for freee !

Shame i'll me moving out in september :(
(SquidHead, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:41, archived)

They did that to me (upgraded it to 2meg for free the week I moved)
and now it seems I can't have 2 meg where I live now, despite being told I could before I moved. grrr.
(

utter
bastards
(SquidHead, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:46, archived)

I just got 1mb
broadband through NTL for £9.99 a month for the first year :)
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:43, archived)

BT is doing
2MB for 30 pounds a quarter...
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:45, archived)

Wow that is good
is that uncapped?
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:46, archived)

i think there's a 30gb cap
either per month or per quarter
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:46, archived)

30gb .
That's not entirely useless.
(SquidHead, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:48, archived)

Just checked their site
and can only see £25 per month for 2mb with a 15gig monthly cap. In my past experience I've never found BT to be very competitive at all.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:50, archived)

And they are cunts
And their free broadband modems are about as useful as a lump of rancid cock pus.

And their mum is a crap shag.

Yeah.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:53, archived)

So in summary, not our first choices.
I used Pipex for the last 6 months who were pretty good and customer service was reasonable. £60 cancellation fee if you get rid of it within a year is very steep.

I was with NTL for about 2 years before that, their customer service is usually crap, but getting better. Their product is imho superb, if you can get it: get it.
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:56, archived)

BT is all I can get at home
but my work pay for it and I have a Netgear wireless router/adsl modem thing so...
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:57, archived)

If you can get BT
you should be able to get Pipex no?
(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:00, archived)

Dunno
didnt look into it too deeply at the time. As someone else is paying the cost doesnt matter and I already have replacement kit....
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:02, archived)

It is.
Although they employ cowboys and monkeys as engineers and customer service.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:58, archived)

At corporate leve
I've always found their engineers to be good. The customer services side is staffed by shambolic showers of horse cunt though.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:04, archived)

The monkey who installed one of the cables in my house
had to borrow my drill and masonry bit because his wasn't powerful enough to drill through the wall. He also brought the wrong cover for the junction box so there's now a box of dangling wires that they've never come back to fix.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:14, archived)

AOL for some reason
gave me a BT modem. it's actually OK. I mean, AOL do suck satans cock in hell, but they are impossible to stop paying, so I have to use them...
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:57, archived)

A wanking cap?

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:46, archived)

since when? I thought they were still £25 a month

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:47, archived)

hmm you could be right.
I thought I was on 27 and then they put it up by 3...
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:48, archived)

£25 a month
www.bt.com/broadband/bb_info.jsp
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:51, archived)

1 mb/s
is 125kB/s. You have 57 days until September. That's enough time to download over 600 Gig of porn.

What are you waiting for?
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:46, archived)

woot !

(SquidHead, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:49, archived)

my eyelid keeps twitching
who wants to hold it open for me?
(

blinder back for good, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:35, archived)

This nailgun
and that wall.
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:36, archived)

you're overtired
have a nap
(

Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:36, archived)

Difficult in
most offices :P
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:36, archived)

Oh I don't know
*climbs into sleeping bag under desk*
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:37, archived)

I have found myself the perfect place to sleep here
a perk of half the staff being made redundent is lots of empty offices.
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:37, archived)

Pffft
On really hungover days I have to go and lean my head on the cubicle walls in the loo :D
(

Dekazer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:39, archived)

I just sleep at my desk.
I don't understand why it would be a problem.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:41, archived)

it's been doing it for days
it only stopped last sunday

i am suspecting some sort of computer based porn overdose
(

blinder back for good, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:41, archived)

Work through the burn!

(

Fenris temporary Lazarus, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:44, archived)

~~Work~~ Wank
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:49, archived)

I will
with my cock.

As long as you can keep twitching for a bit.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:37, archived)

use matchsticks
or stick nine inch nails through them, and yes i mean the band
(VashTheStampede http://www.b3ta.com/features/howtopoachanegg/, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:37, archived)

trent reznor
smells

and would probably make me go blind
(

blinder back for good, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:38, archived)

He turned me into a newt

... I got better
(

comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:45, archived)

anyone happen
to have a sample of brian blessed saying " enda, fight with us on the morrow?" from blackadder the first?
(VashTheStampede http://www.b3ta.com/features/howtopoachanegg/, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:27, archived)

No
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee!
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:29, archived)

*checks pockets*
*checks under cushions*
*checks coat*
Nope, sorry.
(Small Beer, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:29, archived)

oh, what bad luck
I gave my last one away just yesterday.
(

The BBC
Their address is :

CUNT
LONDON
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:32, archived)

oh dear.
Did someone get out the wrong side of bed this morning?
And did said someone put his foot in a pile of soggy kleenex stuck to the floor?
(

It's a reference to Derek and Clive
If I got out of bed on the wrong side, the only thing I'd put my foot in would be Nigella Lawsons dripping gash.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:37, archived)

I see.
I wondered where Nigella had been these last few nights. Wifey and I have missed our games of hide the sausage with Nigella.
(

You'll have more fun when she comes back
I've made a new hole in her.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:43, archived)

Lucky thing I carry a puncture repair outfit.

Once a boy scout... etc.
(

...you'll forever know the taste of middle aged penis?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:48, archived)

ahh, the memories

My scoutmaster, if we were naughty, would give us the option of telling our parents or pulling down our trousers, bending us over his knee and spanking us.
I always thought it a bit odd that the woggle he carried in his pocket used to grow everytime he asked me if I wanted a spank.
(

I sent a round robin.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:36, archived)

Where did you send him to ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:42, archived)

I dunno, I just sent him round.
Cunt.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 13:02, archived)

Good lord my head hurts...
....I may join WW in a sympathy 'going on the wagon' for a few months.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:26, archived)

Don't be
fucking silly.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:28, archived)

rememeber those wise words of Dean Martin though

if you don't drink, when you wake up it's as good as it gets.
(

you aren't drunk
if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:37, archived)

Only if we
can call you Poofy McLightweight
(

Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:30, archived)

Wincey Willis is on the wagon?
What is the world coming to?!
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Tue 5 Jul 2005, 12:38, archived)

♫ ♪ And so is Michael Fish ♬
(

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