Is anyone else still about?
I'm quite bored, and close to playing Fifa Manager.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:53, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6200508
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:54, archived)

*gazzes mike*

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:56, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6200510
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:56, archived)

I am and i am very angry!
I suggested to the socialist labour party their website was outdated and their reply was.

Where do you fit into the carping middle class Lewis , if your interested in socialism as a solution to the crisis ridden corrupt war mongering capitalist system , please step forward help us develop a better web site if you think that is the most important thing and I for one would love a site better than the BNP’s but if you can’t do anything

But carp then” please, please stop bothering us, we are very busy dealing with all the serious people who are getting onto the website and wishing to join us and get on with serious politics, sorry if you find that offensive ,but you clearly don’t even contemplate your own offensiveness



Dave Roberts

yah you got my vote...
( sutton a non-prophet organization!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:58, archived)

TL:DR

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:09, archived)

well done

( sutton a non-prophet organization!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:14, archived)

That doesn't even make sense, fucking idiots.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:14, archived)

I know
I'm really annoyed, check out their site and you will see why I E-mailed them.
( sutton a non-prophet organization!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:15, archived)

Can't be arsed.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:17, archived)

Thanks

( sutton a non-prophet organization!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:19, archived)

You're welcome.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:21, archived)

I AM HERE

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:00, archived)

Yowza yowza yowza Dave Trouser

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:08, archived)

Hello.
TEXT QUAKE.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:10, archived)

I'm still working on it! honest
I've got SHITLOADS of work on but it'll be live WITHIN ONE MONTH, YES
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:13, archived)

I totally believe you.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:17, archived)

so what you're saying is, ROLL CALL?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:07, archived)

HERE I'M HERE DON'T HAVE A ROLL CALL WITHOUT ME

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:09, archived)

SEXVAARK

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:09, archived)

GILGASTUD

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:11, archived)

hello you massive sex organ, how's your anus for acne tonight?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:12, archived)

Just fantabulous.
Just thought I'd pop in and remind this place that I still exist. I do, you know.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:15, archived)

just so you can picture the scene here, I was squeezing my left tit while I read your post

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:17, archived)

Fuck no.
I'm just asking if there's anyone but Jimmy Wobblepants up there
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:13, archived)

ME
Groove was open, I got fags, but now I don't want them.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:14, archived)

You filthy smoker.
Give it up. BLEH. YOU STINK.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:16, archived)

I did.
Just now, honest!
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:17, archived)

You are now on the "b3tans I definitely never want to meet" list.
Instead of just the other list of all b3tans that I never want to meet.

DEFINITELY.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:19, archived)

:((((
But whyyyyyyy?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:21, archived)

STINKING FAG BUTT.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:23, archived)

I DUN A POO

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:45, archived)

With reference to your comment about me liking Night at the Museum 2, I'd like to know where you're going with that?

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:46, archived)

POO

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:46, archived)

Oh, I see.
You're wobbling.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:47, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6200506
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:49, archived)

WOBBLE WOBBLE WOBBLE

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:16, archived)

thread deleting cunt
alert
( TBL I posted this on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

I WANT FAGS
I might go to Tesco.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

Come here
I'll lend ya a fag
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:28, archived)

Isn't tesco a complete fucking mission away?

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:28, archived)

Yeah, basically.
Fuck it.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:28, archived)

Which one?
Weston Favell or Mereway? Because Favell is creepy as fuck at this time of night.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:29, archived)

Favell is a drive away.
Fuck that. Mereway, I suppose. Do they sell fags this time of night?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:30, archived)

I think they do.
I'm just trying to think what'll be open in town. Only places I really know are pubs and clubs.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:31, archived)

Yeah, I could wander up to Groove, or something

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:31, archived)

I don't think Groove opens on a Thursday.
Best bet is NBs, Lava or Embargo. Although they're all going to be closing VERY SOON.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:32, archived)

*runs*

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:35, archived)

GOOD LUCK

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:36, archived)

I may go to ASDA for some grub
Even thougy it's at least a 20 minute round trip.

I WANT A DUCK ROLL :(
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:29, archived)

just make sure you take somebody with you
to protect you and all that from all the dirty rapists.


what am I saying....

*books flight*
( TBL I posted this on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:29, archived)

THAT WAS ME
HELLO
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

I made a thread that made me look like a bellend
Discuss pies here.

Also, does anybody know a reliable way of cleaning earphones?
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:26, archived)

I POSTED A REPLY TO SOMEONE YOU CUNT

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

THAT'S IT

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

I'M PUTTING FUCKING WASPS IN YOUR FUCKING RANDOMBURN

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

I LOVE YOU AND WANT TO RAPE

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

so did I
I was so angry I started a new thread.

to complain.

its up there ^^
( TBL I posted this on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

FUCKING HELL
ARE THINGS HAPPENING ON THE INTERNET?

:(
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:28, archived)

not that I know of

( TBL I posted this on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:29, archived)

:(
UPDATE: I CAN'T STOP FUCKING SNEEZING.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:32, archived)

If Dr. Who went forwards in time and gave himself a blowjob would that make him gay?
Technically it's no different to a guy with a really flexible spinal column giving himself head. He could go forwards in time by about 10 minutes and suck his own cock, and be guaranteed reciprocation.

But does the means that he used mean that he's gay?
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:22, archived)

This thread is shit.

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:23, archived)

statler

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:25, archived)

STALIN

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

Haha, you were right!
You ARE much funnier than anyone here!
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:24, archived)

waldorf

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:25, archived)

Yeah lol

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:26, archived)

You've just kind of proved my point

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:31, archived)

really lol

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:18, archived)

Please fuck off Parrott.

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:26, archived)

How am I a fucking parrot exactly?

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:28, archived)

No, no.
You are Parrott. You're an insignificant piece of shit that should go back to whatever whole you came from, and die.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:36, archived)

You are fucking tedious
Fuck off and get AIDS, then get kicked down the stairs by your own grandmother for discrediting her family name.

/Gilgamesh anger.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:31, archived)

How am I exactly tedious?
You guys don't even think before posting. You just ask how everybody is. Not only that but you use the humour that us oldies actually came up with. But just sit there critisising. Come up with a really fucking funny thread now. Go on.
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:33, archived)

Haha, you wobble when poked

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:35, archived)

You like night at the museum 2

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:38, archived)

Fuck me it gets worse.....
I have already ranted about some of this years "new" dance tunes that are being released all sounding like that bloody Citroen advert. and now, I have just listened to "grease(is the word) the Jacksons "can you feel it" and rozalla's "are you ready to fly" all sounding like the same bloke made them.

there really must be no new music left out there, if you could remake a song, what would it be and in what style?
( TBL I posted this on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:12, archived)

None, I'm well shit at music.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:13, archived)

I want to take some old traditional irish songs
and play them with synthesisers and soulful singing... no wait, I think somebody already did that.
( TBL I posted this on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

i went to a blues club in Scarborough and loads of people did the 'dance walk' when they went across the dancefloor to the loo

( scott,, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:14, archived)

we just had a blues weekend
and I imagine lots of that went on
( TBL I posted this on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:16, archived)

I might go see if anywhere is open at this hour.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

well, over here there is a 24 hour garage about 7 miles away.
that's about it.
( TBL I posted this on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

Meh, the nearest is apparently 3 and a half hour walk away.
I want a fag:(
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:19, archived)

you should take this opportunity to give up
*runs away quickly*
( TBL I posted this on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:20, archived)

I thought the Shell garage on the road leading from town to Asda opened 24 hour.

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:20, archived)

Ooooh, does it?
That's near me.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

I'm not 100% certain. Last time I went there was at 6am 3 months back.

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:24, archived)

Cool.
I want fags. Fancy a walk?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:25, archived)

I just checked, it's not open.
This is according to the shell website.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

Gay.
Anywhere in town that will have fags?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:28, archived)

*thinks*

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:30, archived)

well there's only a limited numer of notes right, and only so many ways we can put them together, so that means one day we'll run out of songs

( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

I think we already have

( TBL I posted this on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:19, archived)

I LIKE AND WRITE MUSIC
DOES THIS MEAN I AM SHIT?

Probably, to be fair.

I have no idea what I meant by any of this.

Damn you, Scrumpy.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

sometimes
I like to remove the labels off of my canned goods so that it gives me a suprise.
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

Don't care
What's your favourite Rush song?
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

I've never heard any of their songs.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

Summertime Blues.
This may also be the only Rush song I've ever intentionally listened to.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

Listen to the last couple of albums
There are a few AMAZING songs on them. I have 2 Rush songs on my randomburn CD. You are on my list. FUCK YOU.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

Then WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CD?
I've only had one so far. It was alright, but I'd like one from someone who isn't just going to send out a blank disc in an envelope.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

I've had two so far
I'm hoping to send all mine out tomorrow, as long as I get the tracklists sorted.

I've had one from Jorvic and Tyronne, who's tracks were FUCKED UP.

BILL SHATNER FOR FUCKS SAKE.

You may also have Tori Amos and/or Motorhead. I can't remember.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:47, archived)

haha Noit got one from Tyronne.
He gets to send one to Piston. I said we should record us snoring and send it to him.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

I've got Piston as well
Fucking hell.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

Send him snoring!

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

He'll get the same as everyone else
Although I might record a track of me saying "YOU TEDIOUS CUNT" backwards as some sort of subliminal message.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

Yeah, do that.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

Actually, I've already burned them and can't be arsed doing more
TING TINGS. FUCK YEAH.

/may be listening to randomburn playlist.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:58, archived)

YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING HATE MY CD :D

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:07, archived)

The one I have received is from Jorvic.
It's alright, but it would have benifitted from having an actual case.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

To be fair
He's just sent me a replacement CD that actually works after track 5! I'll send him one of mine as well for being disturbingly gracious about it :)
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

shit, I never considered there were so many cover versions.
 
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Summertime_Blues#Cover_versions
( Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

swollowed

( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

5112
or xyz. I always go for songs which contain a near sequential order for their title. I also like 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12 off of sesame street from the pointer sister.
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

LOLRANDOM

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

haha yeah
Fuck off.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

Do you resent me for being funnier than you or having a bigger penis?

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

Why would you have a bigger penis?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

I don't know, ask God.

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

Haha, YES!
This is absolutely something that makes sense.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

It's good to be able to laugh like that
I'd probably end up spending all my life on message boards trying to feel superior over strangers if I was aflicted by tiny cock syndrome like that
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

Hurray!

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

You're right, you are totally above this sort of thing.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

I can smell the irony from here

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:20, archived)

*high fives*

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

You will die alone

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

Haha, another winning post!
Keep telling it like it is, man.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

ROFL
You're SO edgy.

You'll be saying I'm bald and dole, next.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

Sometime I think that this is like a message board completely populated by statler and waldorf
You are all seriously retarded. You even quote us old school types and then poke fun at us in the lamest fucking way possible.

I've never actually seen anyone say anything funny on here.
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:05, archived)

"message board"? you certainly got the "bored" part right!
oh ho ho ho!
( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:07, archived)

Just because you're here longer than us doesn't mean you're not shit.
No-one said anything particularly nasty to you, you were told to fuck off for being lolwhacky, then you got upset and posted stuff like this.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:13, archived)

but you don't seem to understand
he's been here longer.
that means he's very funny, but he's choosing not to be right now.
when he wants to he will funny our socks off. guaranteed.
( scott,, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

Oh, okay.
*waits patiently*
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:19, archived)

it's going to happen really soon

( scott,, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:22, archived)

Oh, there we go!

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:23, archived)

this was a pretty good thread
www.b3ta.com/talk/6108577

although it is mostly Gilgamesh
( Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:15, archived)

Fucking hell, you're boring

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

mama we're all crazy now

( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:52, archived)

FUCK OFF WITH YOUR GODDAMN SHIT.

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

lol or something, I suppose.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

You know when indiana jones goes to grab the idol in the movie?
I actually got there first but didn't have a bag of sand, so I did a big poo in my hand of equal weight and measure to the idol. I have never had to use my skills of precision shitting since.
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

Oh, now you can just fuck off.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

ha, comedy gold
www.b3ta.com/talk/6200318
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

What?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

forum banter
 
www.b3ta.com/questions/common/post278296
( Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

I fail to see what that has to do with anything.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:52, archived)

Haha, you're well zany.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

yeah I think I saw that in the director's cut?
 
didn't go down too well in initial test screenings
( Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

CATFOOD, AGAIN?

( Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

I don't know
It might have been dog food or tesco chicken masala. I've never had a distinguished palette.
( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:58, archived)

So a vaguely meaty requisite.

( Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:15, archived)

i thrust my hands into sharps disposal boxes at the hospital
and pretend i'm Peter Duncan in Flash Gordon
( scott,, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

what
riddled with aids?
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

if you only get a light dose of the good aids then you're immune to the bad aids.
fact.
( scott,, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:47, archived)

It's like a vaccination.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

it's fun too.

( scott,, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

I love the AIDs.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:53, archived)

I thought about getting some aids
then I realised that I wouldn't go to heaven if I had them
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:01, archived)

What a strange thing to say.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

that was a witty reference to homosexuality

( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:07, archived)

Sometimes...
I don't tell the internet things.

Only sometimes though.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

prove it

( scott,, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

I've not had sex with 14 people.
/ac

I have absolutely no idea why I ever told the internet that, for example. But it's true.

I am last in a long line of over sharers. I know, for example, that I have had sex with fewer people that my mother but more than my grandmother. I wish I didn't know that.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:07, archived)

that's only proving that you have told the internet things
quickly, list all the things you think you haven't told the internet.
( scott,, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:10, archived)

Oh you're not fooling me that easily.
I told the internet my biggest latest piece of gossip without meaning to.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:23, archived)

sometimes you should tell a doctor
or a preist
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:58, archived)

Lovely stuff.
I'm off to bed. Feel free to abuse me when I've gone.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:03, archived)

Twat

( mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:05, archived)

Hello you pack of cunts
How the fuck are you, then? What's everyone up to?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:21, archived)

I'm going to finish this beer,
go for a fag, then go to bed.

I'm knackered.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)

You're shit.
Give me a fag.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

They're Richmond, mind.
They aren't for everyone.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

I've got some Mayfair Menthols if you're interested

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

Meh.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

FAGGOT
:(
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

Says yer man smoking menthols.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

Pah!
Disturbingly, I am now on nearly 20 a day :(

I should probably get on the rollies soon...
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)

Uh oh.
Respiratory problems ahoy.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

Haha!
I've actually had weird chest pains once or twice the past couple of months, but I'm sure it's fuck all.

I started smoking menthols to make me less addicted to nicotine. Somehow it's recently gone the opposite way and they have very little effect these days :(

I think I need to go back to the regular, stinky fags :(
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

Menthol can hurt your chest aswell, people only think they're less harmful.
they're not really.


God I want a fag.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

They have about 50% less shite in them
I got used to having less nicotine, went on a couple of drunken benders and now for some reason crave more than should be possible.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

It's not only the nicotine that's harmful, though.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

Nicotine is the least of the problems
But it's what keeps you going.

I've tried patches, gum, and inhalators. They were all fucking shit.

I got myself used to 2 fags within a 7 hour work shift, lost the job and enjoyed the new-found freedom a BIT TOO MUCH :P
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

something somewhere has been beeping for the last three days
i don't know what it is.
( scott,, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

How annoying.
Our smoke alarm used to do that. I broke it.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

The oven?
Our oven is shit and it's always beeping.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8c52/
( Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

yeah that's probably it

( scott,, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)

actually, it's in the neighbours' garden
fuck it, i'm moving next week anyway.
( scott,, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

I'm about to go to bed.
I've been pirating G1 emulators and roms.

Tell Noit to get to the torrents, for the full versions of the megadrive and nes emus.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

Cool.
I'd say I will, but I'll probably forget.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

He needs Twitter.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

He has it, never uses it though

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)

That's rubbish.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

I found out today the jobcentre is still giving me lots of money
even after I told them I'm working
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

Hurray!

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

I'm going to spend it on a top hat
also a monacle
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

I am now massively drunk
I've also had a political debate on /links, but I don't have the attention span for it anymore.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

I'm quite amazed that I managed to spell all that correctly.

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

Hurray,
Drunk is good,
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

Except for when you ask people you know for shags and blame it on a visiting relative the next day
/done that TOO MANY TIMES NOW.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

Online, I mean.

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

Em, okay.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

I CAN'T HELP IT
I'm out of the habit now.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

Also, 'shags' may have given the wrong impression.

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

I'll be honest with you here Nick, I don't know what you're on about.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

/links are very easily offended.
I managed to upset someone the other day by telling them that I thought a band they like are shit.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

They are, that.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

They deleted the thread as well.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 2:03, archived)

I'm hammered.
And not a student. And happy and sad at the same time.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

YAYAYAYAYAY
HAI LIMEY.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY HEADPHONES.
The right one is fine, but the left one is intermittent and patchy, but seems stable if I move the cable about. Is the problem my headphones or my ipod?
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

Headphones, I'd say.
My earphones died this week. I hate that.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

Are they still under warranty?
The earphones I have are amazing for a month, then go all shit and quiet. I'm hoping to return them as often as possible before they tell me to fuck off.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

I CAN PODCAST TOO.
www.karlhysteria.co.uk

How are you?
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)

How does this compare on the scale of 0-baldmonkey?

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:37, archived)

It's pretty shit.
I'm not gonna lie, it's basically me and a mate talking about Star Trek.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:39, archived)

so 1=1 then?

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:41, archived)

Yep

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:42, archived)

Proppah cush

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)

Grand.
Drinking wine, watching abscess videos.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:41, archived)

i bet it's all emo crap music etc. etc.

( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:43, archived)

It's just 13 mins of me and a mate, talking movies.
There's no music.
( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:45, archived)

i bet you're wearing all make up and stuff though and cutting yourself
eurghh emo etc. etc.
( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:46, archived)

I was wanking.

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:47, archived)

asphxywanking?
it's all the rage
( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:48, archived)

No

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:51, archived)

I'm drinking beer, listening to Lil' Wayne and having a few rounds of Super Smash Bros..

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:44, archived)

if my wii worked online i'd give you a game
but it doesn't. so i won't. won't smash a brother
( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:46, archived)

You have both raised and dashed my hopes.
Alternatively, you are just scared that I'd win.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:56, archived)

i'd go mr. game & watch all over you
you'd never survive that
( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:01, archived)

No wireless?

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:57, archived)

no, it just never works
i always get disconnected. same problem on both my wii and ds, but my 360 works fine.
( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:59, archived)

That's very odd.
Perhaps nintendo's wfc hates you.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:02, archived)

My DS never connects.
Even when using it in the same room as my Wii and 360. Both of which have no connectivity problems.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:04, archived)

it's probably because nintendo are shit at online

( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:16, archived)

at online
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

This is horrible bullying of a popular gaming company :(((((((

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:21, archived)

The DS needs to be very close to the router.

( Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

Fine.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:01, archived)

What sort of jeans did you buy?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:11, archived)

I've forgotten.
Begins with a C though.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

I'm waiting to get paid
so I can move out of this depressing council estate into a box room in the town centre.
good times
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:04, archived)

I AM POSTING MY CD TO YOU TOMORROW

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:18, archived)

SHIT, SWEET.

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)

IF I REMEMBER, THAT IS
ROFL
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)

JMG!
Quickly now. I'm off to bed in a tick.
Best fall out with me quickly if you want to get your full attention.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

DOLE >:(

( WHARRGARBL, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

BALD

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

MUM

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

Aw, Chase is crying on House.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

Did JMG upset him?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

Let's not rule it out.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

Probably.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

No complaints here, Jammy.
Although I do have to go to Swansea next Thursday. I hate going to Swansea.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)

NEVER BEEN, MYSELF.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)

The place is fine.
But it'll mean an early and long train journey on my part.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

David Carradine died doing what he loved.
Killing legions of potential usurpers with but a stroke of his hand.
( ArthurTheRat, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)

Oh you terrible ginger shit.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)

I can't stop watching this
NSFE
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

Dude, wtf?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)

I KNOW.
I think it's a gastric tube infection.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

There's one out there of a bloke having a cyst milked
Very fucking horrible
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:08, archived)

I've probably seen it.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:10, archived)

Or that one where they break the skin with sticky tape
Then get a finger in to scoop the gunk out
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

Cool.
I've seen ones where the abscess stretches up the whole leg.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Grim times
But our mate Stella who keeps sheep brings us legs of lamb and says "It's fresh today, mind you, we did have to scrape the maggots off the abscess before we killed it"
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

Haha, sheep are fuckers for abscesses.
Always have them. I've seen some BASTARD big ones on animals. Ones on horses that drained about three litres of pus out.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

Aw man
I'll not sleep now
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

Wanna see how a spider bite on a horse's chest turns out?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

see below

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

That's one of my favourites.
/weird.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:33, archived)

:(

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:34, archived)

I know.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:41, archived)

grim
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMzvUW6XO-o
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)

*bokes*

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

I wisely opened that in a new tab, saw the title and closed it immediately.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

It's not that bad.
But I have a weird fascination with things like that.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)

*massive fucking high five*

( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

*High Five Party*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:08, archived)

rest in peace david cardine. at age 72 you tied a string around your nuts. you will be missed.

( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)

I mean, you shouldn't laugh
But you've got to admire the ambition of a man of 72 going for an asphyxiwank
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

Whatever happened
to Lemony?

When i joined b3ta 5 years, 4 months and 20 days ago he was an extremely regular figure around here
( applehead herp derp, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

n00b

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

I was a lurker here long before i signed up

( applehead herp derp, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

I was a lurker longer than you

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

I had a 4rthur account

( applehead herp derp, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

i had five

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Here's an interesting point
Is it 'a' 4rthur, as 4 is a number, or 'an' 4rthur because you would say it as Arthur
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

an

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

Shit and I can't edit the subject now, or can I? Yes I can

( applehead herp derp, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

Why not?

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

eh..?
this isn't links, *checks for youtube videos*
( weaver., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

you should be able to

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

Yes.
But we all know that you wrote 'a 4rthur' first, so there's not much point in changing it.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

 
( applehead herp derp, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:38, archived)

I'm not entirely sure what's going on here tonight.
I'm more than a bit drunk.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

i always called it fourfur
so it would be a fourfur
( spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

fourrthur, surely?

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

I think he mostly does climbing and /board nowadays.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

He was toight with GMoS
IIRC
( applehead herp derp, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

theres an irc channel people hang out on?

( MrA, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

Phwooar, Hugh Laurie playing the piano.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

que?

( applehead herp derp, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

On House.
Phwoaar.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Soupy Twist, of course!!
I bloody knew that
( applehead herp derp, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

double piss

( RedStar returneth, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

soupy twist

( RedStar returneth, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

That was Stephen Fry's, not Laurie's.
OH HAI RS.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

soupy twist

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

he died in a horrific vcr accident.

( MrA, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Please specify which
VCR Videocassette Recorder
VCR Very Cute Rear
VCR Vincristine
VCR Voluntary Challenge and Registry
VCR Variable Compression Ratio
VCR Voluntary Compliance Resolution (IRS)
VCR Visual Control Room
VCR Vehicle Condition Report
VCR Vertical Crater Retreat (mining)
VCR Vapor Compression Refrigeration
VCR Voltage Controlled Resistance
VCR Variable Chip Rate (algorithm)
VCR Virtual Communication Relationship (Fieldbus Networks)
VCR Voice Cockpit Recorder
VCR Voice Communication Requirements
VCR violent crime report (US DoD)
VCR Voices of Civil Rights
VCR Visible Cocaine Residue
VCR Visit Clearance Request
VCR Vendor Charged Rework
VCR Vacuum Coupling Radiation (type of fitting)
( applehead herp derp, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

VCR violent crime report (US DoD)
fatal paper cut to the penis.
( MrA, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

*votes for number 2*

( weaver., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

We ate a whole bunch of mars bars and had a sweet chocolatey shit.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

He still posts on /board, occasionally.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

Hi Jpohnathon from spiotiydfy.
try this next and then turning out to be bou and fucking off also
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

night all

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Hi,
I'm Jonathan from Spotify.
(Bend over Beethoven, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

can someone picard for me?

( SuperMatt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

I have a script to mute you
works a treat.
( MrA, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

OK, Johnathan from Spotify.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

I'm Jonathan from Skipton

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

Jonathan from Spotify another shit comedy account
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

Well done.
*applauds*
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

Do you know Superted?

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

Hi, I'm Maggie from Kilmacow.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

I'VE BEEN TO CORK
/piston
( SuperMatt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

ARGH

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

I AM SO STONED
IS ANYONE ELSE NOTICING THIS
( moohalaa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

HAVE YOU SEEN MY DRUGS?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

I've never been to me

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

yik

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

Bed time for you
LOSER
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

but i've never been to me

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

Hi I'm Ed Winchester

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

Hi I'm Wildheart Baby from the odd little recess of your brain.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

16/f/surrey

( weaver., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

55/m/outside your house naked in my car

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

49/m/naked outside your car dave

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

i lied
61/f/surrey *sags*
( weaver., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

I'm back from the shop. I knew ye'd be worried, just thought I'd let you know.
Does anybody have any experience of getting a broken corkscrew out of a bottle of wine?

Edit: Hurray! I now have wine in my glass, and everywhere else. Thank you /talk, I love you all. From the bottom of my heart.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

I'd try pliers.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

Smash the bottle on the floor

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

girls pee from the butt
/ac
( ArthurTheRat, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

Scissors
Just stick it in and twist. Should be reet.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

That or us the blunt end of a table knife to push the cork into the bottle.
You may have to pour the wine through a tea strainer though.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

That's what you do if you get an actual real girl naked on your bed.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

No not "what would you do if you got an actual real girl naked on your bed?".

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

ROFL

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

The broken one is still in there, though.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

Burn it all

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK
they were all bullying me :(
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

:((((
*holds*
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

I believe that's normally referred to as cupping
and you should really ask if it's OK to do first.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

cup + lum
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

Rosie and Esme lump sandwich!

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6199980
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

Damn straight.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

just smash the top of the bottle off

( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

Or use a hacksaw.
That would be the more sensible option.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

Possible risk of glass shards

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

More than if you just whanged it into a hard surface hoping it'll smash?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

Good use of 'whanged'
I might be moving to Woodman Terrace. Can you imagine?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

Terrace?
That's well middle class that is.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

Not around here it isnt
But if you look on google maps it looks like a little willy
Kind of
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

A little bent willy
Nothing to boast about.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

It was cold

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

Pliers
But if it's a plastic 'cork', it makes no difference to just shove it through.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

Yeah, the plastic ones are handy that way.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

touch my bum, this is life

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

push it down into the bottle

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

Push it.
Push it real good.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

push the cork right down into the bottle
and prepare a sieve for pouring purposes
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

jam it up your fanny and pull sharply, the vacuum should suck it right out

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

*something about a golf ball through a garden hose*

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

Drink your way to it.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

Push it down with a screwdriver

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

I thought you would have suggested
smash the neck off on the side of a skip and glug from the bottle.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

Nope
You might spill some that way.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

Won't fucking go down, stupid thing.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

Try harder, you spastic.
Wrap the top in a towel or something and give it a good thump.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

Have you got one of those corkscrews with levers on either side?
If so, re-screw it and lever it out.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

The stupid lever broke off
Have it now! I have lovely wine in my glass, on the floor, worktop, my top and my arms.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

The harder you have to work for it
the sweeter the reward.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

Indeed,
WINEY WINEY WINE.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

Good stuff
The Internet - getting Irish birds drunk a speciality
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

Hurray!

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

Priapism can be a curse

(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

not if you really enjoy masturbating but can't be bothered to go through the effort of getting an erection

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

Not at my age, son

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

if it won't go down wrap a teatowel around the base
and gently smack it against a wall base first
the pressure pushes the cork out enough for you to grab it with pliers teeth firm grip
and yank it out
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

Put an orange then a mars bar in it for 4 days
on the 5th day put just an orange in.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

FATTIES!
Update me on current internet truths.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)

I slept most of the day.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)

I'm going to the shop now.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

top news

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:59, archived)

Get us some snacky goods.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:59, archived)

Cornetto

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

Nah, I was thinking more pies and stuff.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:03, archived)

20 B&H and the Auto Trader please

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

That's such a bloke order

( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)

20 embassy
and razzle?
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:03, archived)

That too.
but more pervy.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:08, archived)

*slaps arse*
Put yer knickers on and make us a cup of tea, I'm parched!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:04, archived)

Monnnkkkkkfiiiissshhhhh

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:06, archived)

MONKFISH

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:07, archived)

Monkfish piss

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:09, archived)

Monkpish

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)

Sean Connery?

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:19, archived)

Yesh indeed

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:21, archived)

tennish?

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:25, archived)

Half pasht i think

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:28, archived)

can you get me some cigs?
anything but menthol
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:01, archived)

:(
I smoke menthols.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:12, archived)

it's okay, i'm a girl and i'm smoking a hamlet cigar
so it kind of cancels itself out
(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:14, archived)

ok, i take it all back,
do you have a webcam?
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:17, archived)

ha ha! nice try!

(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)

no i, uh,
look are you having difficulty with the whole concept of /talk? i'm sure someone must have written an faq you could reference
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:25, archived)

I do like the occasional hamlet after enough drinks.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:22, archived)

Said Hamlet to Ophelia
I'll do a sketch of thee,
what kind of pencil shall I use
2B or not 2B?

/spike milligan
( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:27, archived)

I love you BILL DOOR

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:30, archived)

:)

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:30, archived)

You're going on the list with glued eel, FoldsFive, derek monte and gilgamesh

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

is this a good thing?

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

yes, but keep the phone number of a relative or next of kin to hand

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)

UM
list?

Where is this fabled list?
( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

It's a special list.
Kept in his head.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

I NO
lol!11!
( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

Rofflecopters

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

YOUR NAME VILL ALSO GO ON ZE LIST!
VOT IS IT?
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

Don't tell him Wildheart Baby

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

*FIVES FOR NOT GETTING THE QUOTE WRONG*

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

*stupid boys it*

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

Cough
Is this list exhaustive?
( in vino veritas, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

No it just needs a quick sit down.
/dad joke.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

*adds Bill Door to list to buy a drink for*

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

*buuuurp*
Coffee please to keep me awake, ta
( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

*handsover a quintuple esspresso*

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

SHITLIVER
*cough splutter*
( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

he's not a fan of me, at all
that's got to be worth something too
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

I'll send you out a coke and a bag of crisps
ok?

;)
( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

Oh?
Well you can have the paper bag full of doom and kittens.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

we're all going to say nasty things about you while you're away
then we'll delete the posts before you get back
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)

:(((((((

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

Nordbird is a horrible misogynist.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)

Who?

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

OJ Simpson in Police Squad

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

Cigarette?

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

I know.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

LOLOL!11

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

The one daring to criticise Jade Goody (the most saintly, angelic person who ever lived)
a thread or two down the page.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

i think you scared her off

( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:59, archived)

Good.
This is no place for such awful right-wing bastards.

P.S. look ladies, I'm really sensitive! Please have sex with me.

Edit: she was female? Damn it, I totally took the wrong approach there. I should have defended every single word to the death and poured nothing but the harshest criticism on her uninformed, misogynistic detractors.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

Right wing? Ha ha! FUCK RIGHT OFF!!
Awful, yeah. I'll grant you that.
(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)

no no no
you're doing it all wrong
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:05, archived)

oh, which secret internet code have i broken now?

(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:06, archived)

of dancing to the tune of the bored and fickle

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:08, archived)

You're a bit thick, yeah?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:08, archived)

clearly, yeah!

(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:19, archived)

Righto, duly noted.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:27, archived)

You just reminded me actually
who was the nob that posted his IQ on here as some kind of top trumps thing? Riversomething?
/shit memory for a lurker
(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

Riverghost.
But it doesn't matter anyway, as I have an IQ of 186.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

*186 FIVES*

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

Dude!
Are you the other Emeritus Professor here?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

she was right-wing?
where was that
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)

When the army of virginal non-believers,
who are virgins and will never touch a girl in their lives, spread lots of malicious internet rumours to that tune.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:08, archived)

god damn them
why can't they just have sex :(
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)

i am slightly drunk

( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)

I decided to have a week away from b3ta. It was most refreshing.
I got lots of manly stuff done, watched cricket, saw old friends offline.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)

Oh hai

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)

hai! didja miss me?

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

I did.
I was wondering where you were. Not enough to go find you, obviously.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)

yay for cricket

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

*lofts a six into the car park*

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:54, archived)

and yet you came back

( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

i thought i'd left the iron on

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:54, archived)

it can happen

( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

it so can :(

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:58, archived)

It's happened to everyone, honest.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:18, archived)

Welcome back.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:58, archived)

Sounds like a good week.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:01, archived)

I've put big brother on
so I can see how shit everyone will be this year, and gauge my rage towards this summer's headlines.
I'm already raging.
( SuperMatt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

They've just put in a Pakistani Muslim
TERRORIST!
( SuperMatt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

why are you raging?
i really wanted to watch it but i've no access to a tv right now
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)

Me too
Yet for some reason I am unable to switch it off.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:03, archived)

People are all well shit.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

and cunts
people are cunts
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:52, archived)

i feel
your pain brother
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)

[notes your age]
[prepares response]

It's your fault you find people shit, you should lighten up and stop being so bitter!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)

You're wrong.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)

[gets my internet bride to fall out with you]
[wages a bloodthirsty internet war]
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:58, archived)

THIS is what I come here for.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:03, archived)

I'm reading Hagar of the Pawn-Shop. For free. Online.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:52, archived)

I see David Carradine's karked it
looks like he was trying a Bangkok stranglewank and overdid it a bit

anyone who doesn't like Turkish Delight is a fat wanker
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:52, archived)

I fucking love Turkish Delight
I might go get some now.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:54, archived)

I bet you just sit there all night stuffing your face with turkish delight washed down with chocolate frijj, reading Jackie Collins novels and buying 9 carat silver-plated shite off QVC
that's your life that is
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

yeah, welcome to several threads ago

( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:54, archived)

I wasn't talking to you, blue-namer

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

you're missing out
my profile is a thing of wonder
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)

I'm really hoping that Bangkok Stranglewank is either
a) a Sky News reporter
b) a third rate pub covers band
c) the title of an old punk fanzine
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)

Jazz musician

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:59, archived)

I'm now hearing Jools Holland mumbling...
"LDDZZ N GNNLMN...BANGKOK STRANGLEWANK"
*waves arm in general direction of disinterested looking man with trumpet
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:28, archived)

I'm a fat wanker then.
You should tell baldmonkey this.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

stranglewank
I'm loving that.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

I heard this earlier, oh well.
Turkish delight is top quality sweet.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

Four months of Big Brother threads.
I bet you're the one who keeps recommissioning it.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)

I'm making ikea furniture as we speak
well, type.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)

are you in the flat above me?
2 hours of banging...
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

I just put some biscuits in the oven.

( Bats, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)

that was a bit silly. you should put them in your mouth.

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

But they were just biscuit dough.
Dough is hard to dunk in coffee and makes me do a :( face.
( Bats, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:06, archived)

I bought some jeans.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:58, archived)

There's nothing sadder than a man who can't get sponsored for charity.

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

yes there is
this
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:09, archived)

HOLY CRAPTARD!

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:13, archived)

Wow.
Just wow.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:19, archived)

she's got some talent
i wonder why she wastes it on b3ta
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)

This is a different well.
What did you do with the real well?
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:24, archived)

i bet she's swapped accounts again

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:26, archived)

i've always been a supporter of her work

( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:27, archived)

You always seem really critical.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

criticism where it's due is all
i don't jump on bandwagons, if something is good i call it as it is
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

I've just bought 8 cans of SCRUMPY

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)

I went out for an awesome meal.
I had roast beef and yorkshire puddings, for dessert I had a hot chocolate fudge cake with cream.

And, I'm still hungry.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:25, archived)

I've just got back from the cricket.
SSG and I are bitterly disappointed, Glamorgan are rubbish (sbwriel).
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

Oh JMG :(
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8084086.stm

The fact that their voters are too stupid to unfold a piece of paper, and therefore they voted for the BNP instead tells me all I need to know about the UKIP and their supporters :(
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

I see David Blaine's 42 day
record of doing fuck all in a box has been broken, well done Jade.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:29, archived)

Er, no thanks.

( WHARRGARBL, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

good joke

( scott,, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

Hee.
That's nawty.
( Bats, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:31, archived)

you're not one of the better users with Dr in the name on here are you

( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:31, archived)

i don't get it

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:31, archived)

She's DEAD, in a box. It's funny because it's true

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

i dont get it

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

Me either

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)

:\

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)

If she died from tombstoning, now, THAT would be funny.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)

I didn't say either were funny
Well, not without being sarcastic.

And has she been dead longer than 2 months now? Time flies
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)

now do a Maddie joke

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:31, archived)

Difference between her and Pope John Paul II?
The pope died a virgin.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

and wasn't a pigshit thick racist Essex girl who died of ovarian cancer which probably could have been prevented if she hadn't ignored the early warning signs?

EDIT - sorry, yeah. it may have been cervical cancer and not ovarian cancer. Notwithstanding that technicality, she was warned of abnormalities and chose to ignore them.
(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

Wasn't it cervical?
Ovarian is a sneaky fucker without many symptoms.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

This.
Hello lovelywoman.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

Hello!
I have red wine and a prawn and mushroom stir-fry. Yum.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)

I like the taste of prawns, but not the texture
I tend to make my own prawn toast instead
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)

What?
Mushed up prawns on toast with sesame? That's good too.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)

I have PORT.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)

any port
in a storm?
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:46, archived)

Yum.
P-B left some port here after the bash. I made some cheeky vimto with it. Did your lad get off to his trip OK? Has he written home yet? Mine always had to write a letter home. I've still got them somewhere. I used to come in line of importance after the guinea pigs and Mikey's musical instruments.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

Yeah, cervical.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

yeah, she totally deserved to die

( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

She didn't say that.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

really

( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)

Yes.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)

yeah, really.
what i said was that the pope wasn't a pigshit thick racist Essex girl who died of ovarian cancer which probably could have been prevented if she hadn't ignored the early warning signs.

you should really learn to read the internet more carefully
(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:40, archived)

look, sorry
normally i leave the genuinely retarded well alone on here, i mean there's plenty of people willing to make the cheap shots at their expense as it is

you being new and all i didn't realize, it won't happen again
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

that'll learn me to try and get involved in forum banter :(

(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:47, archived)

don't be like that
just lurk more and don't take the shit people post on here seriously, easy
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)

haha awwww
youre well cute!
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)

Of course she didn't deserve to die
And she did end up raising a lot of awareness. But ignoring warnings, and requests to see a doctor because you're scared, isn't a good idea.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)

^exactly this

(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:41, archived)

HORSES FOR COURSES LADIES

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:41, archived)

everyone deserves to die
you stupid fucking spastic
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:41, archived)

Imagine the chaos if people weren't allowed to die, and just carried on living for thousands of years.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

*imagines all the people...*

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)

*imogens all the people*
/bad news
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:48, archived)

who's imogen?

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:48, archived)

Imogen Heap, the singer.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

The Comic Strip presents... BAD NEWS which was on telly years ago
Adrian Edmondson as Vim Fuego, frontman with the band claimed to have written a new song. Cue a badly off key version of Imagine, only with the title Imogen.

It loses a little in the translation into text!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)

Ahhhhhh
I never saw Bad News
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

Uh huh

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

We're in trouble.

(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

something about bubbles

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)

she also did 27 years doing fuck all outside of a box as well

(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

She was much better than you ever will be.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:33, archived)

she showed everyone how to become loved after
being hated, cancer.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

*mentions BB again*
There is someone in the audience with an "RIP Jade Goody" sign.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

Oh for fuck's sake.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

That was my reaction too
But then I remembered I was watching BB so I am not fit to judge.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)

apart from me still being alive that is

(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

That doesn't really score you many points.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)

i'm not interested in scoring points
even if I was, it's not like she could accrue any more could she?
(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)

What I'm saying is, you're a bit shit.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:46, archived)

Jade Goody jokes: Officially unfunny and shit.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

LEAVE JADE ALONE!!!!!!!
*beats fists on table in extreme frustration*
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

Pffffft.

( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

[Post in style of previous new thread starter]
Someone had to do it.
( WHARRGARBL, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:22, archived)

oh my god instant abuse reply
*gets my clique friends to back me up*
( moohalaa, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

*whinging about clique*

( WHARRGARBL, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

*Gets upset*
*complains to the mods*
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

*flat caps*

( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)

*whippets*

( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:27, archived)

*gets upset*
*complains about the mods*
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)

/Sympathetic motherly response.

( Bats, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

meh

( CowJam, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

Yeah okay.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

*puns*

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

i fucking hate pun threads.

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)

they are the cancer

( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:26, archived)

dont chan me :\

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:27, archived)

chan?
what?
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:28, archived)

>:(

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:29, archived)

you've lost me
i'm not down with all this internet stuff
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

CHANCER!

(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

please
don't
( well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

okay

(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
hello
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:26, archived)

GAY. LORD.
where have you been all my life?
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:27, archived)

I've been having noisy grunty sweaty bum love from mongychops

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:28, archived)

now there's a sexy fucking image

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

HELLO

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:29, archived)

hello

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:29, archived)

hello
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)