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Hurrah my Christmas Catalogues have arrived.
plans for the weekend?
I am doing NOTHING, which is good because we haven't stopped for about 4 weeks.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

I'll be busy packing and buying things needed to live in a house

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

Christmas?
Fuck off, it's June.
Springy will be playing Sims 3 all weekend and generally being a TERRIBLE PARENT, leaving me to do everything.*

*She's actually a great mum, and doesn't neglect us even a little bit
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

"little bit...**"
* I wish to formaly denounce and squash all aligations that this statement was said under duerest.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Good stuff
It cant hurt to think ahead
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

birmingham this weekend
church on sunday
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Multi nodular thyroid goiter
That is also infected. Never let a clinician stab you in the neck with a needle, no matter how important it seems at the time. Antibiotics ensue.

Yowch.

Hoping to wake up for the weekend – I have a Sunday of Go Ape planned. Obstacle courses and zipwires and treetops, oh my!
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

go ape are forest pirates, i hate them and all they stand for

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

Hello new person.
I like you.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

The mime's conceit has conquered over real beauty
Grinning from a mask of hollowed bone
Where a human is somewhere to be found
But where I don't know
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

*Eastender's Themetune*

(

OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

Goitre?
19th-century-tastic. Get some fish down yer.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

ARRRGH.
Fucking cunting twattish bastard ARGGH.

Hello.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

ahoy hoy.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

there's a wasp in your hair

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

when i'm controller of channel four
i'm going to hire you to do the idents
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

please god nobody ask it what's wrong

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

I'm not going to ask you what's wrong
I'm like that.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

blah blah, i'm sooooo upset, blah blah, feel so sad, blah blah

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

what's wrong?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

left stance jodan
lock the elbows in, and keep a decent distance... drop on head... but this assumes that they keep pressure rather than what is much more likely, them legging it in and twatting me.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

stop fighting Jordan
she'll just sideswipe you with her massive knockers.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

no :(

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

Keep it low and swing it up into their bollocks.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

Gehdan?
GAYDAN?

GAY DAN?

Why are you wanting me to use the most defensive 'earth' kamae?
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

Stubbed your toe?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

Well
I've never been so insulted.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

you're so cute when you're angry.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

Aww bless ! Isn't she just adorable !

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

I've just installed a Swedish version of Windows
the desktop has icons for "Mina dokument" and "Mina natverksplater"

except the A in natverksplater is one of those spazzy ones with the dots over it, fucking foreigners
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

Pfft, natverksplater.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

I quite like Wheatus' first album but I have a tickle up my bumhole so I think I have worms.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

you think you're such a badass
you think you're such a roughneck
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

but I SAW YOU outside eating truffles with yer mom on the patio

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

top fredding there

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

My head is sore.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

Have some booze.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

NOT A WANKER.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

are you jobless?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

Yer.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

gutted

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

Who would you fight to the death in an orgy of bloody rampage and guts?
I think it'd have to be Davina McCall for me. I hate that woman far too much. I'd stove her face in with the biggest thing I could find (and be able to carry).

/pent up anger and rage blog
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

I'd much rather have sex with Davina than fight her
If I was allowed to fight a woman, I'd fight Paris Fucking Hilton.

And her dog. I'd make her fucking eat the dog before I beat her to death.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

You can have her smooshed up carcass, if you want it?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

No
let me fuck her first as some sort of "pre death treat"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

Davina now
or Davina on crack, like the old days?
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

I'd be doing her doggy style
so I probably wouldnt notice.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

Depends if she's got her stash rammed up her poochute.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

More likely crotched it
More space post-kids than the rear storage compartment, you see
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

Woman hater:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Shall we all talk about Big Brother now ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Someone smaller and weaker than me.
Just to be on the safe side.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

I'd rather just walk away.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Poof

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

RIGHT THAT'S IT
I'LL SEE YOU OUTSIDE IN 2 MINUTES!
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Unlikely
unless you've invented some sort of teleportation device.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

ah fair enough
another time then?

To be honest my anger will probably subside, how about a pint some time.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

I'd like that
but I dont travel to meet b3tans.

I sometimes go to the Porterhouse bashes bt not much else.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

I wouldn't mind having a pint with Goaty. I imagine him to be good company.
He's a fucking cunt on here, mind.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

I'm not a cunt in real life
no one has the courage to be that much of a cunt.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

have i ever met you?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer.
Apart from that one, of course.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

I met him once
not properly though. I don't think I even said hello. I was LOLmental at the time and didn't really speak to anyone.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

Monday.
I restate my assumptions
Heaven and hell
Do not exist
Tuesday
I restate my assumptions
If you die
You do so at your own risk
Into the heart of darkness
Beyond the point of no return
Wednesday
I restate my assumptions
Beauty is not
The same thing as youth
Thursday
I restate my assumptions
Only one thing's beautiful
That's the truth.
etc
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

piers morgan

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

also, can you stove someone's face in with a pebble? ho ho ho

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

I'd have a Battle Royale with all the b3tans there are
I'd make you all line up and I'd run past you all, punching as I go
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

I'd dodge, trip you up, and stamp on your head.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Fallen at the first hurdle
I'm going to give up this life of violence.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

*sticks foot out and trips you up*

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Flapjack would probably hurt you.
He's a bit handy with the martial arts and that.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Note:
I am not really going to do this.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

Flapjack and CHB are probably the only b3tans who can actually fight properly

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

I reckon there's a few more.
Me and Jenpots probably could.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

I'd be shit in a fight.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

What if we gave you a shinai?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

nah, I can beat people in a dojo because we're all doing kendo
if I took a stick into a street fight and played kendo rules and technique, I'd be destroyed.

I'd be tempted in a street fight if we both had wooden sticks to go straight into Jodan and keep distance then the second they step forward drop it on their head.

but I doubt it'd work.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

You really fancy your chances against 40,000 of us?
Wow.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6201240
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

too late now
you're going down, boy
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Ah shit
Not again
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

Oh SADDEST of SAD FACES...
All I could think of when you wrote that, was Warhammer.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

It's in situations like this I have a sniff of a tub of ultramarine blue to regain my composure

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

My proto-jaw would snap out and you'd be running down the rest of the line spraying them from a bloodied stump.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

I'd prefer the legs akimbo street luge groin punt

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

Fern Fucking Britain
Shit she's annoying. And being between jobs at the moment I find myself watching daytime TV. Which she's all over.

Definitely one for a bloody rampage
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Get a job and stop complaining, dolescum.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Between Jobs
does not = dolescum
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

GET A FUCKING JOB, HIPPY.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

Job on it's way
haircut still hippy
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

it does when you are between jobs
for 5 fucking years!

Get a job hippy!
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

claire doyle, she broke my heart when i was twelve and left me so emotionally scared that i can not form adult relationships

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Thatcher, Winner, Girls Aloud....
Oh, and Leona FUCKING FRIGGING BASTARD ARSEWANK SHITHORN Lewis.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Winner and Thatcher deserve death
but I'd rather watch old age cripple them now. Leona Lewis, Meh.

But GIRLS ALOUD ? How can you hate that collective of loveliness ?

I would fill a bath with them and wash myself in their femininity.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

They're needlessly annoying, in my eyes.
Plus they all need a sandwich. Well, except Pigface, she doesn't. She needs a paper bag.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

i'm not sure i could even make love to sarah harding as i adore her so much, i'd just like to stroke her hair

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

haha :)

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

sarah if you are a /talk lurker perhaps we could meet up for a drink? no pressure, drop me a gaz
great forum
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

yeah sure no problem
I'll start shaving my back
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

could the post i made above go on the popular page incase she isn't online at the moment or has me on ignore
thanks
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

She's a screeching banshee, absolute fucking embarrassment of a woman.
Not that I wouldn't, mind.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

she is ambrosia, perfection, venus if you will
i'd buy her flowers everyday and rub her feet with cool lotion after she performs with her singing and dance troop, i'd be in heaven
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

Oh Thatcher.
Only this morning did I say to FF 'I can't wait til that old cunt dies'.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

I hope they do give her a state funeral, there'll probably be a riot.
Then those silly bastards that keep inviting her to stuff and making statues will FINALLY GET THE FRIGGING MESSAGE.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

Goatworrier

(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

He'd break you into little pieces.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Proxy fighting talk
this is getting serious now.............
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

I bet he's short.
My height sort of short.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

I'm six foot four

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

around?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

Around what ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

Oh never mind.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

That's a lot
of girth
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

Nicholas Cage.
He's quite tall, mind, I'm not sure I could beat him up.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6197812
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

He's a fucking mong
I reckon most Hollywood stars would probably completely cruble and cry if someone actually had the temerity to hit them.

Imagine if you smudged their make up or cracked their expensive dental work ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

I don't know why, but I'd quite like to punch Ben Stiller.
Oh yeah, that's why.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

Shia LeBoeuf.
He'd get a slap.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

True that.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

Everyone in High School Musical.
They'd get a slap. With an acid covered glove.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

I'd buy a HAL suit and use it to punch them through walls and whatnot.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

Excellent plan.
Gold star.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

oh man High School Musical is FUN though

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

:(

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

Just tell him Ghost Rider was shit.
He's a massive comic nerd and it would probably make him curl into the foetal position and weep while you kicked the fuck out of the spackfaced wanker.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

Apparently, when he has John Travolter's face, he can fly, but only after level 50.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

I'd probably have a bash at the krankies

in a Master Blaster arrangement
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

Bobby Davro - Carol Vorderman - and a few more.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

You stay away from Carol.
You can have Rachel Riley instead, the retarded, smug, gurning idiot that she is.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

The entire female cast of hollyoaks.... all at the same time.
/ac
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

I reckon if Mongychops was checked for dirty needles first, I would 'ave 'im.
I would do a tag-team fight with me and Donkey Gums against Andy McNab and Chris Ryan.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

why would you wish to fight me?
:((((((((
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

The make-up sex would be worth it.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

Chris Fucking Packham
I'd fuck him right up
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

the cunt

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

Is he the one with the speech impediment?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

Yesh

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

vernon kaye, the fucking ponce.

(

Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)

Why are women always fucking cold ? It's june you menstruating harridans, MAN THE FUCK UP
Even fat birds are at it "Ooo it's freezing in here" Really ? Which liquid freezes at 18 degrees celsius, bitch ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

Rest your cock on their shoulder and see how long it takes for them to notice.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

He could be waiting a long time.

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

I'm a fat bird and I'm always warm
what pisses me off most is women who complain that they are cold when they are sat there in a vest under the air con. PUT A FUCKING JUMPER ON
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

I think they should just have their heads cut off
leaving just some sort of life support system for the tits, arse and vagina.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

^this too
Then they turn the thermostat up so that everyone else suffers. Bitches.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

How would you measure the speed of sound through a curly wurly?

(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

With reluctance

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

why the sweet shuddering fuck would you want to?
anyway, you're effectively measuring the speed of sound through toffee. The curly wurly thing is irrelevant.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

wait until you see a flash of lightning and see how many curly wurlys you can eat until you hear thunder

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

Warm or cold?

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

Because women are a barely human offshoot
They're little more than slightly sentient apes really.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

I've just been out for a cigarette
and I was the ONLY ONE not cold. FFS. It's only mild outside.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

It's fucking june
I saw some cunt in an overcoat this morning and another one with a cunting wooly hat.

Just fuck off to fucking America if you dont like the outdoors, cunts.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

The other day when it was REALLY HOT.
I saw a couple of yoofs in Ely wearing big trousers, hoodies AND puffer jackets. I laughed at them.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

I saw a welsh cunt in wales wearing a woolen hat that covered his ears
it was 24 degrees celsius and sunny.

he might have been a junkie though.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

perhaps it was SSG, that cancer can really mess you up, poor ssg, it is so unfair

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

In Ely, though
all that proximity to the Fens fucks up your perception of hot and cold cos you know, really, you should be under water
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

Fuck off my TaunTaun just died and I had to slice open it's belly and climb inside
it's that cold.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

You.
They were discussing Chris Packham on the radio this morning. I thought of you.

Apparently, he's been shoehorning Smiths song titles into Springwatch.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

I'd like to shoehorn my puffin* into him
*cock

www.b3ta.com/talk/6199652
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Dimethyl sulphoxide

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

18.5 for DMSO if we're being pedantic.
but nice googling, there.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

Womens body temp is naturally higher than a mans
Seemples.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

some of my tshirts are a bit short
this makes me cold. But i wear layers.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

~~layers~~ a Jimmy Krankee costume.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

~~layers a Jimmy Krankee~~ winnie the pooh
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

Now, see, that's just odd.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

~~layers~~ a school boy costume
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

They have cold cold hearts
pumping frozen venom through their veins of hate.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

ym does

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

My hands and feet are cold
but then they always are anyway. I do tend to be cold nearly all the time. I think it's because of witch craft and voodoo or summat. Or possibly cos I'm so ACE, I don't need heat.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

fat birds just say they are cold to try and fit in with the slim attractive girls, it doesn't work, they are still ten pinters

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

I LIKE FAT "WOMEN".
THEY BURN WELL.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

I'm imagining your laugh
sounding like Donald Ducks.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

and I'm a monster and I exist
on this summit I am lost,
on these slopes I've seen the world as she was meant to be seen.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

I'm terribly narcissistic and will only be interested in attractive women.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

beauty is in the eye of the bee holder

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

Erotic Bees IV: The Beeining

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

This is fair
Who likes unattractive women ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

certainly not me.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

desperate b3tans.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

We're not just kids
To say the least
We've got ideas
That're dear to us
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

we're the kids in America
awooga
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

^this
Why do they need the heating on in the car ALL THE TIME? Everytime I get in the car lately, I find some psychopath has decided to use the heating during the hottest week of the year so far. It makes me mildly annoyed.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

That's
unnecessary. What's more unnecessary is when you are on a bus and the female driver decides all fifty of you must be as cold as her. Ubertwat
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

If Baldmonkey ever got into power as PM
What would you live in fear of?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)

Him.
Of course.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

Catlegged police officers
raping my budgie
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

him publishing his awful podcast over pa systems throughout the land

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

THIS IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

Nothing
He'd be medicated and having somebody else tell him what to do.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

You two-faced bitch.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

Dude
that doesnt even bear joking about
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

Trouble is
it would be Wormulus.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

Fucking hell.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

If you ran a trendy winebar:
1. What would you call it?
2. What would you call your top selling cocktail?
3. Isn't goatworrier great?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

1. SUCK MY COCKTAIL!
2. ARSE OPENER
3. FINE!
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

I would call it
1. Beer World
2. Ginger Beer Shandy
3. Oh, OK then.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

mongycocks
the corkster, as a tribute to the tv show star in life goes on
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

1. Chin
2. The Bobby Geddes
3. I'm sorry
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

1 - Bar 9/11
2 - The "Ground Zero"
3 - But mummy says my hair is nice
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

1. The Fuck and Off
2. The Why Don't You Fuck Off
3. ~~I have no excuses~~ I don't know, no offence, he might be, or not
(

vladimir, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

I endorse your bar.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

thank you
I'd like to offer you our top-selling cocktail on the house
(

vladimir, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)

there's no drinks up here

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

Dirty Bens Palace of Piss

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

The golden shower

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

Pffft. Is the the name of the bar, or your top selling cocktail?

(

Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

The slogan can be, "Urine Good Company!"

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

Yes!

(

Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

There ought to be a cocktail called the golden shower
Maybe it could be Lucozade and vodka.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)

2 barmaids 1 glass

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

1 glass 2 faces
It's a real hard-mans wine bar.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

1) Fun House
2) Whole Lot Of Fun
3) Prizes To Be Won
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

1. Wine's World
2. Cocktail? In a wine bar? Are you mad?
3. I love you.
(

Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

Cunts
A long slow cunt against the wall
because I'm a cunt
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

1 We dont serve cocktails, but we can tell you a few
2 The hairy bats vagina
3 Stop pretending to be mental and come off the meds. You'll be fun again.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

1) Slut
2) The Pink-Cheeked Whore
3) It's my hormones.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

1. Date Grape
2. Sémillon Fluids
3. 1 and 2 are interchangeable
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

My favourite cocktail IRL is a white russian
I like to drink them wearing nothing but a bath robe and pretend to be "THE DUDE"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

TAHT ATT IS A GUD FILM

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

Ooh, mine too
except not while wearing your bathrobe.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)

If you were to wear my bathrobe
it would take you a week to find your way out again.

I paid £12.50 for a white Russian in Barcelona : (
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

I spent 14 quid on a vodka martini in London
but I have to say it was one of the best alcoholic drinks ever made.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

they just filled the entire centre of london with drink?

I once spent £2.19 on one frijj milkshake, because I dropped the second one
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

they werer heavily chilled and the condensation made them difficult to grip I AM SORRY

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

erk!
I'm going there next week, I'll be sure not to order any cocktails. Although I have a feeling it's going to be a messy drinkfest.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

It was in a 4 star hotel at 3am
You wont pay that much in bars.

GO TO EL XAMPANYET. It is the best place in Barcelona.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

whereabouts is it?
we're staying near La Ramblas, I think.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

oooh, reviews look good. Cava and tapas.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

I'd call it FNAAR! as in the sound posh people make when they see a poor person
The signature cocktail would be called: Lincoln's Tophat, which is molten gold and champagne, served in a tophat.

You wouldn't be allowed in my bar, *points at sign* No Spastics.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

Another good name for a cocktail
The Tit Sweat
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

I'd also have one for the ladies, called The Stablegirl's Queef

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

The fat of the glans

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)

1 - /talk
2 - Fat girls mingebatter
3 - LOL
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

1 - The Ugly Threesome.
2 - Cat-Wee Smelling Dribbly Spunk With Lumps In
3 - I no.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)

1 - Fatties folly
2 - XXXXL diet coke
3 - ROFLGASM !
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

1 - A Stinking Time
2 - Fizzy Shit
3 - Cumbearable.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

1 - The lab
2 - Sammi's Face
3 - PFFFT !
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

1. Brayndedd's Palace Of Shame
2. Not A Wanker
3. SHIT MY TEETH.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

1 - Flapjacks pad
2 - The canoeface
3 - Get rid of Q3 completely, it's superfulous
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

1. Dekazer's Razor.
2. The Hairy Leg
3. Chom glickle chom glickle chom glickle chom chom chom
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

The Fenris
Babyhandz
LOLF
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

Clairebare's Topless Cunny-Feast Factory.
Nipple Ripple Tipple For Cripples
Bummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

1.Club Tropicana
2.Uninvited Urinal Leaner
3.See 2
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

I heard that the club tropicana drinks are free?

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)

I heard they were pee

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

That's why they are free.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

sounds good, but could you give me a rough idea of what you charge for drinks?
(

vladimir, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

1) Slûts
2) Shoot Your Face Off
3) I'm fucking GREAT. FUCK YOU
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)

I'd go to any bar
where the manageress mixed cocktails by sticking the bottle up her moo-moo and gyrated her hips about so the booze sprayed into everyones drink.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)

Take your cocktail & shove it RIGHT up....
oh, you already have.
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

1 - Christs chin
2 - The "Small town gypsy massacre"
3 - I'll have you know I paid Nicky Clark £500 for this fringe
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

I thought you'd paid Niki Lauda for it

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

1. Flashback
2. Super Nintendo
3. youn are
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

1 - dAy Trape
2 - The "Roofie-collada"
3 - it's not hair, it's a rabbit
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

1 - The BNP
2 - The Send 'em home
3 - OMG THERE ARE NOT MANY MORE WAYS TO ANSWER 3 ARE THERE, EDIT THE QUESTION, CUNT
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

3 - DUN

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

"Bar full of wankers" ?
Are you referring to any one of Londons many drinking houses or is this a damning indictment on the state of our legal system ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

LOLAW

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

I think 2nd
"bar full of wankers" is pretty much equivalent to "ocean full of water"
(

vladimir, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

1. Squaking Peas
2. I Flobbed In This
3. Yes. Yes he is.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

1 - The SIKRIK
2- 15 screaming orgasms that left my flaps red raw in the morning
3 - WOOP TO THE MOTHERFUCKING WOOP
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

1. Cine City
2. The 8mm
3. LIKE UR COCK
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

WOOP WOOP WOOP

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

Uncle Flapjack's
The Dirty Secret
Meh.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)

1 - The Third Reich
2 - The "Zylon B-Good"
3 - Dont know her
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

vota annabel bitches
starinabra.com/model/model-competition-top-30.php

NSFW
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

LOLTITSANDFANNIES
what a refreshing post from SIKRIK.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

I like the way he takes the time to reply thoughtfully to every response
rather than just spamming some shit that an ugly slapper he's fucked is involved in
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

I want to hang out with you Richard
maybe we could touch a lady's boob together!
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

the same boob?

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

They both have small hands
and the kinda chix they'd go for would have big boobs.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

I don't know
I'm scared now.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

Would being in a threesome with Rik intimidate you or would you feel equal?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

I reckon Rick and I have been pretty close to having a threesome.

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

You get her to suck you off while he's bumming her
and suddenly, you can feel his MASSIVE helmet poking onto yours.

Cause his cock is so big it's gone all the way through her and rubbed up against your cock.

And now you're gay.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

They can cover it up by making lightsaber noises,
thus cancelling out any gayness.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

I lolled

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

Both of you replying in the same thread as sammi doesnt count

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

OW DO
Leave me out of it
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

He would hold SickRik's hand as SickRik touches a boob.
It'll be like static electricity.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

Great
Now you'd made me vote for 3 other girls, not including Annabel
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

You should enter
you're hot.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

Yeah, sure
Once I find a pair of knickers that will fit me, and a camera that won't break
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

I was joking
you're hideous.

You look like a medical experiment.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

Sorry there, gorgeous

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

Tell us RIK
Did ANY of these fucking bitches NOT cry while you fucked them ?

And did you manage to fuck any two of them at the same time ?

In the sea.

Whilst their mothers fellated your arsehole.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

nah, she looks like she is holding in a pot belly there, no fat chicks

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

Most of them do
Juana looks like she has 4 tits, whereas I think Daisy looks better than all of them.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

Lauren looks pretty.

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

Yes, you're right
And Victoria's boobs are way too big for her.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

Lauren & Leela are the only ones worthy of broadsword muck

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

I bet playing with her soft, floppy chickenfat titties
is like kneading dough.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

You've never actually touched a naked womans tit have you ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

i haven't, one day i'm sure before i'm forty i will, i hope

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

I bet if she lies on her back she chokes on them
like the Elephant man.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

Get fucked.

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

Bitches is a bit of an odd surname.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

it's pronounced 'bish-hays'

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

Huzzah! A new thread. The future's bright...

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

Only if Annabel votes BNP

(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

My ex-boss has commented on my PODCAST SHIT RUBBISH PODCAST OMG FUCK OFF BALDMONKEY.
fucking shit links cunt fuck

www.baldmonkeystuff.blogspot.com
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)

I've got an application form
I might fill it in
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)

BNP ?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

I sent a BNP membership form back.
I applied in the name "Inderjit Singh" and didn't put a stamp on.

See, if people had fought the Nazis as passively-aggressively as that in 1939, WW2 would have been over so much quicker.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

ha ha

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

Nein...I mean...no or something
Ja
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

Ba Nana Phone

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

Ching Chong Ching Chong Ching
Ba Nana Phone
we hate the chinky chinks

Nig Nog Nig Nog Nig Nog Nig
Ban Nana Phone!
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

pfft, not bad

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

NEVER!
It's the 65th anniversary of D-DAY this year, you fool.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

In which case I will mark my indifference by putting my pen down for a moment

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

Nearly everybody I know are spoiling their votes in protest.

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

in protest against what?

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

clause 28

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)

The baldmonkey podcast
it's shit
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)

The elections and the shoddy options of MPs

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)

The Man, man.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

but they only people you know
are the other windowlickers in the monghome.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

No worm, I have a life that doesn't involve you

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:11, archived)

Zing!

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

I simply cant see a way you can fight back against this superior intellect:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

Hahahaha
CLICKIN DIS
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

Sounds like it.
Spoiling your ballot is for pricks. You might as well stay home and watch telly. No one gives a flying fuck about spoilt ballots.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

It's better than staying at home
it does/should make MPs take some notice, but I think writing a letter would be more adult.

I think people who spoil ballot papers probably touch puppies.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

OH NO SOME SCRAP PAPER INDICATES SOMEONE HAS NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON PANIC.
I'M SURE ALL THE WASTED RESOURCES DON'T COST THE TAXPAYER ANYTHING AND REALLY MAKE A GOOD POINT.
Pricks.
Utter fucking pricks.
Along with people who suggest voting is your duty. Pricks.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

I think voting should be compulsory, and that you should get entered into a prize draw when you vote with the prize being to become President
I reckon that would be fun.
(

Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

I'd vote for you.

(

Jobe, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

yeah
screaming and crying in supermarkets, while their spineless parents give in to their demands for confectionary
(

vladimir, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

spoilt high fives

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

*grizzles*
*sees not enough attention being paid*
*deep breaths*
*bawls*
(

vladimir, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

i heard spoilt ballots have all got the new dsi, and are going to lego than this weekend or they are going to scream untill they are sick

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

FOR SHAME!

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

First he fired you and now he insults your podcast
Sounds like someone's got a vendetta
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

I NO.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

Can I cum on your tits?

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

morning weirdo

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

pffft, it sounds like Go4it
It's probably not as shit as Go4it to be fair
(

vladimir, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

CHILD ABUSE
It was awful. You should stop now, you've run out of ~~mental illness~~ ideas
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

:(

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

He sounds like a right bellend.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

Dude
the bellend is in the centre.

The goolies are left and right.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

Not if it's all curved, like Bill Clinton's. But most of us don't have 22 year old interns sucking us off under our desks.
Moohalaa can only do so much.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

Hello! I have my first Kendo Competition this weekend.
On Saturday I will be fighting in a team, we are hoping to do reasonably well, we've got quite a strong team (excluding me obviously). On the Sunday I will be fighting in the individuals where I imagine I'll go out in the first round BUT it'll be fun.

What do you guys do competitively? Anybody want to do something more competitively but tend to plateau? Will I deserve an Ice Cream on the Sunday?
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

I do nothing competetively
I only compete against my own physical exhaustion.

*kicks you up the cunt*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

I do that too, I fight myself on my bike, at climbing and at swimming
at Kendo I fight others to improve myself.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

Let's wrestle
*nakeds*
*oils*
*waits*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

*mumbles*
oh ok.

*naked*
*oils*
*wrestles*
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

*comes*
*blushes*
*shames*
*leaves*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

*photos*
*posts*
*profits*
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)

*panda puts away sniper rifle*
"You get away this time Goatworrier. But soon..."
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)

a 99' with bits and juice.
none of this magnum rubbish GMoS

I don't really do anything competitively except try to be grumpiest person in the room
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

I'm unhappy that, in this day and age, a 99 does not cost 99p.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

Our local ice cream van still charges 99p for a 99
Also sells popping candy and screwballs.
Proper retro
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)

99p ?
When I was a lad an ice cream was ten fucking pee ! Ten fucking pee !

Now it's £1.20. What else has gone up a thousand percent since the fucking seventies ? Nothing.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

petrol
cigerettes, booze, cheap whores
(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

Petrol cigs and booze
have all gone up due to tax not inflation
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

I can remember paying 20p for a can of coke and that's 60p a can,
I considered buying a pot noodle the other day but when I saw that it was on special offer for 99p I thought a quid to make me ill was a bit too much.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

Don't get me started!
The fist time I ever went to a petrol station when I was 16 (ish) it was 3s/4d a gallon, about 16p. Oh and beer was 1s/9d less than 10p.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

Mountain Dew is being charged at £1 a can
I still buy it though *gurns*
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

Mine sells screwballs
but not popping candy, he does know everyone over the age of 20 by name in Bradford though as he's been our ice cream man for as long as I can remember.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

I did used to run for a club
but I've been a bit off that recently. I do hope to resume asap.
Yes. Ice cream is good for you.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

I play Smash Bros Brawl online.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

i haven't played it for a while and i never bothered with online much
it's fun though
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

I did a sponsored run and got overly competitive and beat all my friends
Does this count?
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

Yes, of course it does, it's good to see people actually do what they say they'll do
I HATE RACEFORLIFERS who walk
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

It's only 5k
there's no excuse for walking unless you actually have cancer yourself.

And then only if it's in the foot.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

29:49 seconds motherfucker
On 4 double vodkas, 5 fags, a bedtime pepperoni pizza and 3 hours sleep.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:47, archived)

I ran 5k after doing a pint of heroin with one of my legs hanging off after a wolf bit me
I did it in 27 mins 40
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

In the snow?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

Bah !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)

i'm doing a half marathon in norway in january in the snow under the northern lights oh god i'm excited

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

you carried me on your back as well because if I remember correctly I really needed a poo and if I walked I would have brownloaved it.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

Oh yes
and we used a hippo to plug your bumhole up so I was carrying you AND a hippo.

Without carrying those and not having had the wolf-bite I think I would have done it in about 5 mins. If I'd not had the Heroin I might have finished half an hour before I started.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

you should have punched him in the head at 26.30
and sprinted off over the finish line spraying shit on everyone
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)

I post competitvely on the internet.

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

~~comp~~ re
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

nothing competitively
when i run, i'm never in it to beat other people. i do like to improve my times though

oh, and medals. I LIKE MEDALS.
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

You should wear an official GMoS day t-shirt
Your enemies wont stand a chance
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

I'm wearing my official GMOS Armour.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

I don't do as much competitive stuff these days.
Squash is about it really!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

do you win?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

Usually!
I like to think i'm quite good. That said I'm playing my bro this arvo, I haven't seen him for about 3 months and he has been having lessons.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

Drinking
And, yes you should have ice cream.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

You drink competively?
What does the winner get other than Cirrhosis of the liver?
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

A free liver transplant on the NHS

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)

I used to fight in competitions (won gold at Reading Open) until I snapped my bottom :(
Then it was FPS games which isn't as cool and battle of bands.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

snappy bum bum

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)

Did you wrestle crane flies?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

Nah, very short people in the same weight division :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:54, archived)

I reckon I could take on a goshawk
or maybe two chaffinches.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

i could fight a mole

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)

my housemate was some sort of champion of pokemon card battling
which is the least cool thing to be champ of that i can think of
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:54, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/5012980
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

I used to raid competitively on WoW
Then I got (part of) a life.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

haha

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

Raiding is serious business!
Just ask any of these WoW addicts.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

The robot armies of newhitler

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

The mutant mantis hordes of neostalin.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)

the radioactive seagulls of nupot

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

I'm not a sporty type
and I think I'd get lambasted if I described WoW as competitive :) I'd like to have a go at boxing though, or kickboxing.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)

I'd like to kick your box in.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)

*lambasts*

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)

No.
I am not very good at things.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:59, archived)

you're the 'taking apart a washing machine and using its bits to spell your username in your back garden' champ!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

and bash bashing concerts

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

I watched "Anchorman the Legend of Ron Burgundy"
this morning.

I liked it, but it's hugely overrated IMO.

THANKS.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

OMG I downloaded that from an entirely legitimate source a couple of days ago
not got round to watching it yet. I didn't find Anchorman as funny as many other people did.

This is quite a dull post isn't it?

The weather is warm today.

I'm sat in my pants deciding whether to go to work.

I've been broadsword, good night!
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

I think it's a funny film
but all this "OMG THIS IS THE FUNNIERS FILLUM EVAR !!" Is wide of the mark IMO.

Not a patch on Withnail and I, The Big Lebowski and Nuns on the Run.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

Believe me, my young friend
there is NOTHING - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in your pants whilst watching nuns on the run.
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

the big lebowski is my most favouritest film

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

I watched star trek this week
I liked it it wasn't overrated!
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

I will watch that on DVD when it is out on DVD

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

I don't usually go for the pirated copies
but I lent my neighbour my Might watch and day watch DVD's and he sent a pretty decent copy of Star trek back with them, so I thought meh - why not.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

I thought it was very good.
Also Chekov :o3
(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

It gets better on second viewing with like minded people.
Or: go back to your home on whore island.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

I have watched it twice
I enjoyed it, it was funny, it's just not uber funny.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

I think it's the amount of quotable lines that get passed around that give it the reputation
Although that said, Brick Tamlin is my god.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

I thought it was alright
I'm not disagreeing with you. Don't shout at me. I'm sorry.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

Great times.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

I also watched some old Monty Python
Generally it's not aged well but Gilliams cartoons are still ace. He was a b3tan before b3ta. 90% of the shit you see on /board is like a deranged, withered mong version of Terry Gilliam.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

You're like a miniature buddha,
with hair.

Oh, I love that film. I quote it far too much.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

Oh baxter, you are my little gentleman
I'll take you to foggy london town...
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

Slow down, Baxter!
You know I don't speak Spanish!
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

"Are you still having your celebrity golf tournament? "
"No, too many people died last year."
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

I woke up on the floor of some japanese family's rec room
And they would Not Stop Screaming.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

It's got good quotes
but not as good as Withnail and I or Big Lebowski.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

You can stick it up your arse for nothing
and fuck off while you're doing it
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

yeah well, that's just, like, your opinion, man

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

I have Airplane related Manflu.
This is the first time I've had the sniffles in, erm, must be at least 7 years, I never normaly get them.

This is such a terrible state of affairs, in my most humble of opinions.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

NEXT !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

Man up

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

aw, mate.
Drink lots of hot ribena.
I had a hayfever-related sneezing fit on the Tube, people were looking at me like I had leprosy.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

Ohh, hot ribena, I shall give this one a go =)

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

mm yeah hot bena

(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

First sign of cancer

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

Not another one
Fuck me why dont they die already ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

I shall struggle and fight, become a hero of our hearts against great diversaty.
OK! have promised me three morial issues, providing Pete and Jordon don't get back together by then.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

If you're ill
lie in bed watching films and eating and drinking.

You'll be better in a few days.

Either that or get to the gym and sweat it out.*

*note, this does not work in any way
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

I shall struggle and fight, become a hero of our hearts against great diversaty.
OK! have promised me three morial issues, providing Pete and Jordon don't get back together by then.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

Airplane related Manflu?
Surely you can't be serious?

/and did you have the chicken or the fish for the in-flight meal?
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

I got up very early and pressed F5 & redial many many times in quick succession to get concert tickets
I have achieved my goal.

I am the sleepiest happiest little trooper ever.

I'm going to have a fag then take two sleeping pills and go back to bed.

Oh yes.

Deal with your manflu.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

yay muse!
I bet it'll be fantastic.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

*does mental cartwheels*
I'M SO EXCITED! HOO-WEE!!!!!!!

It was all sold out in about 12 minutes and now the website is b0rked too, hahaha.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

Oh Gonz!
I'm sorry. Why don't you get some medecine, queue up Braveheart and get mad snuggly on the sofa.
(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

Are you coming on to him?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

Twice

(

Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

Looks like you picked the wrong week to give up Lemsip

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

Oh god, my addiction to NIght Nurse might come back !
I should consult The Steps about this.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

Only H can save you now

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

Fucking hell.
I've just been looking at the results for yesterday's vote-in-a-school-party round my way.
Stupid cunts have just swapped Labour for The Conservatives. What's the fucking point. One bunch of cunts for another bunch of cunts who'll change fuck all. Democracy is shit.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

BORIS FOR PM

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

BOJO BOJO BOJO

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

Yes!

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

I did a controversial politics post yesterday
It made me want to leave b3ta.
It's such a hotbed for ill-informed opinionated little commies.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

Did you just realise this yesterday?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

Why didn't you leave then?
No offence
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

I left b3ta on Sunday and every other fucking post was about me.
So I came back.

You lot love to whinge about me, I'm like JMG except I only repeat myself on Tuesday.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

no it wasn't
there were a couple of posts, true

but you're here so much of the time and you make such a bloody racket that of course people were going to notice
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=Wormulus

It's your fault /talk.

You love me, just admit it.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:29, archived)

I think you're a bit of a prick to be honest.
Great times, forum banter, no offence
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

I bet this doesnt get on the popular page.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

So what you're telling me is
That you are all happier when I don't post on b3ta?
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

I wouldn't want to do anything that made the internet unhappy.

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

Maybe I should do a proper flounce.

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

THE BIG WORMULUS FLOUNCE
I could start a new thread as well.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

I could go out in a blaze of glory
posting porn on all the boards and screaming until I was banned.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

Nobody would miss me
Nobody would care.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

I mean, the interesting and funny regulars are always going on about how shit b3ta is getting.
I would almost certainly elevate the level of /talk and make it less boring by leaving.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

In fact, I suspect me leaving would probably be the most interesting thing I'd ever done

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

Most of my posts are just BBC news links, food posts or adverts for my podcast
All the cool people have me on ignore anyway and rightly so.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

Yep, It's time to call it a day.
Goodbye internet, I'm sorry I made you do a sadface.
:(
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

Fucking good idea
no offence
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

Maybe INTERNETLAWYER can help?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

Maybe you should try leaving for longer?
No offence
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

If you lot can drum up £200 on paypal between you
I will get cr3 to delete all my accounts.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

If you left how did you know that?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:29, archived)

he obviously hadn't left then, had he?
it was a "comedy leaving".
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

I logged on in the evenings to check my gazzes
I also got text messages from people asking if I was in prison, which prompted me to search for my username.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

Better than getting one of the comedy parties in
like the BNP or Green or Bastard helmet mashers.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

www.animalscount.org/
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

Great

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

I just clicked on that thinking it said "animalscunt"
how disappointed am I ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

I did a total utter o_o when I saw that at the top of my postal vote form.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:29, archived)

I lolled at the logo
I half expected to see Jospeh Beuys' face on there somewhere too.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

Ha ha.
At first I thought that paw was a cock.
I've been here far too long :(
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

Sorry...
Animals Count
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

oh ffs

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

I disagree.
All the time there is a triopoly on politics, there's no real choice at all. It was a chance for a step towards something useful. I'd also like the BNP to get in so that people would regret it and riot and it'd be ace.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

This sounds to me like "LOLANARCHY"
which is what idiots think is a good idea in principle but are totally unprepared for the actual consequenses of.

Essentially democracy causes politics and politicians to pander to the popular vote, 80% of the electorate is stupid and ill informed (Which is sort of self-perpetuating because they only find out what they are allowed to find out by the media) therefore you end up with a load of cunts voted in because they look good on camera.

Cameron is just Blair with a different haircut.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

And sexier

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

What?
It's not hard to be sexier than Blair.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

Why all the blank posts?
She fucked Friz, FFS.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

The should have voted in the BNP I say.
At least they would boot out all the...

Oh wait, that's a tad taboo.

LOL!atics!1
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

I cant think of anything worse than that lot even gaining a voice in any sort of official capacity at all
except maybe cancer.

Or Anal rape.

Or modern celebrity culture.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

or QOTW ?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

No
I think QOTW causes less harm than the BNP
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

Same people though.
EVERYONE ON QOTW IS A NATIONAL SOCIALIST.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

Two words
Piston
Broke
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

Has anyone got a photo of him
I've had a great idea for a photoshop.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

I've got a couple.
Here's one.

www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/0657.pb.jpg
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:29, archived)

Are they stuck together ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

Yes.
Yes they are.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

Don't worry.
Kim Jong Il will be in power soon.
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

London is full of cunts
I just saw one riding a folding bycycle no handed, listening to his iPod and pretending to play the drums.

He was wearing Sandals too.

What a fucking cunt.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:57, archived)

I'm going to That London tomorrow
Should I wear my killing hat?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:58, archived)

And your killing sandals.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:59, archived)

Steady on
I might well be a cunt but I'm not a gay cunt.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:00, archived)

Killing rotating comedy bow tie, then.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:02, archived)

Oh alright then
I'll be attaching comedy whistles to it though.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:03, archived)

You can give people Comedy Cancer

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

JINKIES!

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)

It's going to be a good day

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:15, archived)

and his killing waistcoat

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:02, archived)

And his killing zimmer frame.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:03, archived)

you could probably modify a zimmer to be pretty deadly

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:04, archived)

I'll get to it.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:06, archived)

we'll take it to the bash

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:07, archived)

I thought we might watch some films on the way.
But the Dukes Of Hazzard film is meant to be shit. :(
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)

i've seen it, it's not unwatchable but it's not that good either
death race 2000?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

Original or remake?

(

M o D, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

remake is just called 'death race'

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

Ah so it is.
Death race 2000 is a fine choice of film, the remake not so much.
(

M o D, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

haven't seen it. it's on my lovefilm list though
i like brainless action and stunts sometimes
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

Perhaps a stab vest is more in order.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:00, archived)

What I'm going to do, right, is get the missus to carry the bags.
I'll walk a bit behind her making sure I don't look at all like a tourist. Sorted.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:02, archived)

Good plan!

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

WOMEN; nothing if not expendable.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

Ban them from life.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:58, archived)

Drumming if you please
while riding a folding bicycle.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:10, archived)

I hope it collapses and causes them comedy harm.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

They could get their cock caught up in it and comedy sliced off

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

they might get impaled on the handlebar and get a punctured comedy lung

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

The sandals could fly off into his mouth somehow and choke him

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

comedy choke him, surely?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

I bet he was happy, though.
Well, until he hits a rough bit of road, chucks himself over the handlebars, lands in front of a bendy bus and gets squished at 70 miles an hour by some crazy bastard who's paid to be so.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:59, archived)

I hate cyclists
Some cunt decided to stop peddling and ride in the middle of the road the other day. I wanted to drive into him but there was a car infront of me :(
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:01, archived)

You shold try living in Cambridge then.
The students ride 2,3 or more abreast, often the wrong way down one way streets and outnumber cars 3 to 1. In the summer it gets worse with the arrival of the forins.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:04, archived)

I remember being appalled by the fuckers when we went to that pub
No lights, wrong way up the road, no hand signals. I assume there's a good death rate amongst the feckless tits.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

I ran into a group of about 5 about 20 years ago
coming round a blind corner on the wrong side of the road. Bloody scratched my van it did!
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

Fuckers

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

Now why exactly would you have a problem with him stopping pedalling?
are you his bloody fitness instructor?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:05, archived)

Yes

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:06, archived)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahah
Sorry.
'fitness instructor'
pfffffffffft.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:06, archived)

I just drive behind him shouting at him
It's fun.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

This was rather the response I was expecting.
I mean, I can understand a cyclist being in the middle of the road being annoying, but the order of the statement suggests that stopping pedalling was actually more annoying. Curious.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

Perhaps because stopping peddling slows you down?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:10, archived)

well, not necessarily it doesn't.
anyway, what's his speed got to do with the price of fish?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

I'm guessing that what our resident spastic meant to say
was that a cyclist slowed down in the middle of the road, thus slowing all the cars behind the cyclist down as well.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

He was in the middle of the road
Therefore slowing down slows everyone else down. That annoyed me. Is that really a hard concept to get?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

It's like a person
but slower.
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

No.
but the issue there is that he's in the middle of the road, not his speed.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

I'm not sure what to make of this
1 - What the fuck does it matter if he freewheels ?
2 - I'm inherently defensive of cyclists as it's a fucking bastard cycling in traffic

But -

3 - He probably was a cunt, a lot of commuters and roadies are
4 - I cant see the fucking point in riding a bike on Tarmac and will never do it again unless under duress...
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

I think you forgot
"massive great leg-shaving flouncing Mary" before "cunt" when describing roadies.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

London is full
of fucking LOOK AT ME I'VE SAWN MY HANDLEBARS DOWN AND MY BIKE HAS ONLY ONE GEAR cunts.

Posing about like fucking cunts. All the do is ride to a coffee shop and sit outside next to their "Gaycer" and fiddle with their iPhones.

A singlespeed bike is some sort of fucking fashion accessory it seems.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

Too fucking right
/have you seen this Shimano Alfine stuff? looks fucking wicked. 8 speed hub gear with the same ratio spread as a 24 speed, constant chain, no mechs, no gear duplication, shifting under full pedal pressure. Oh, Mama.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

No
I have not seen this.

Given my age (I think you're late 30's too arent you ?) I do have this nagging concern that bikes are going to be fucking AWESOME just as I get too fucking old to ride properly : (
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

hoverbikes!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

*grabs comb and wax paper*

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

I'm going to give one a blast at Glentress soon
I shall report back. But, yeah, you are right. Stuff I've seen change in 20 years mountain biking is scary. Mind, my 12 year old Explosif will still piss on most stuff you can buy these days so the advances aren't that major.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

See above
There isn't a problem, apart from the fact that he was in the middle of the road and slowed down when he stopped peddling. At least move into the side.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

He has as much right to use the road as a car
but he is a cunt.

So I am torn.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:15, archived)

Not strictly true
Cars pay road tax, surely they have more of a right to be on the road.
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

Marbella is full of cunts
I saw some bloke steaming down a main road in his Citroen Chavo, he slammed his breaks on, skidded to a stop at a pedestrian crossing (there was no one crossing) & started rocking out on his air guitar to some fucking shite music on his stereo before fucking off again a couple of minutes later.
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:07, archived)

I don't like Marbella either.
I lived just up the road for a while. Full of cunts.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:10, archived)

AND all the women have fake tits :(

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

The only rational response to this
is to gather a mob, hunt him down, drag him out of his home and kick him till shit comes out.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

Sweet, I'll get some pitchforks & some lighter fluid

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

Hahahaha!
It was so you, wasn't it?
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

Oh man
1 - I dont ride on the road
2 - I would only use a folding bicycle as a weapon
3 - Sandals ? Fuck me.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

I've found that a Londoner's favourite subject of conversation
is London. Bunch of flat cap wearing ponces.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:15, archived)

To be fair, all other citys are shit in comparison

(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

All except Leicester

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

and MK
obviously.
The city of dreams
(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

yeah, 'shit' doesn't even begin to describe the horror of leicester

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

I bought a dvd player in Leicester once
that is the only redeeming feature of the place
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

I can't actually think of a city in the UK
that is better than London.

Sorry.

It's like Man Utd. You only hate it becuase it's successful, no one hates Charlton Athletic.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

i do now.
fucking charlton athletic. rargh!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

Mongy supports them

(

WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

LOL!
No offence.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

RARGH MUST KILL MONGY

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

ABERDEEN

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

Geographical location preference argument.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

Mac or pc?
I prefer mac, but I take the gherkins out
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

I bet you put the milk in first
you're worse than Hitler.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

yes. BUT.
when whittling, gripping your knife too tightly does give you a better grip, but it also tires your hands out much quicker.
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

Sanding actually takes very little time if you select the right paper and select the proper block for the job.
It is important to purchase good sandpaper. As far as I am concerned, 3M Sandblaster paper is the best sandpaper available bar none
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

I generally don't like most places.
Especially Stoke, god I hate Stoke.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

I think I've been to Stoke but I can't really remember
it clearly leaves an impression
(

broadsword, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

Robbie Williams is from Stoke.
This may go some way to portraying my hate for Stoke.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

Drivers. Stop raping the planet for a second and tell me what you think.
Ms Official Jnr has been sent a speeding ticket for a time when the car was 25 miles from an alleged incident and she was in the pub with me and her mum winning a quiz. How easy will it be to convince the rozzers of these facts?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:45, archived)

Something similar happened to my Dad once.
They'd copied his license plate or something. I guess all you can do is explain the situation and if you can, get a witness from the pub, if you knew anyone there.
(

Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:46, archived)

Proves fuck all really
Just means that you were in a pub, doesnt mean your car wasn't speeding 25 miles away.

You'd have to then tell them who was using your car.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:54, archived)

The car hasn't moved for over a week

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

Is your car like Herbie? Or Kitt?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:56, archived)

It's hers and my knowledge of cars is as follows
It is black with a wheel on each corner
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:57, archived)

I'd kitt your herbie any day.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:58, archived)

You cant prove that though
and to the police, they have proof it has because they've got a photo of it speeding.

Regardless of the fact that it wasnt your car and that you've been wronged, I think your whole family will be thrown in jail.

You may all be bumraped by black convicts in the showers.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

maybe they have a photo of a car with that number plate speeding
might not be the same make/model. worth checking.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

I dunno
Depends how twattish the police feel on that day.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:47, archived)

I think i shall go to the beach tomorrow. Yes.
All you can eat fryup FTHA
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:50, archived)

How do these two things correlate?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:51, archived)

The beach has the venue that provides said heart attack

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:51, archived)

Beach is for fishanchips & icecream
Nothing else.

Kindly inform them of this tomorrow xxx
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:52, archived)

Not at all
Barbeques on the beach are superb.

As is beer and late night sex.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

I meant the sort of food you could purchase pre cooked at shops
You are all of the right of course, I concede.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:57, archived)

Fatties Tuck Hamper Association?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:51, archived)

You go to the beach for a walk or to play in the sand
Not for a fry up, you bam.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:52, archived)

Perhaps i shall do all of these things!
Or perhaps i shall not bother and just go shopping in ASDA
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:53, archived)

Wanna do my shopping for me while you are there?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

Yes
No
Yes
No

I cant decide.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:56, archived)

We are also going to look at degus

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:56, archived)

You're going to do what?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:59, archived)

Google it!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:00, archived)

what it?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:03, archived)

DEGUS

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:05, archived)

having found out what they are now,
are you going to barbecue them or have them roasted?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:07, archived)

That happened to a friend of mine.
It's probably been cloned. First report this to the police BEFORE you challenge the ticket.

What has probably happened is some chav has nicked a car of the same make and colour to yours, and they have put your plates on it so it does not trigger the ANPR
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:47, archived)

'she', not 'it' :(
you terrible sexist
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:51, archived)

pfft

(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:52, archived)

Thing is as well
It's on a road that is covered in cameras, signs all over the place telling you that you will be nicked, and yet still some spastics do 40 in a 30 zone. You can't help some folk.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:53, archived)

Fucking cunts.
They got me like that :(

Seriously, report it to the police. What if they use the car for something like a burglary or summat? You could get your door kicked in a 3am and a load of policeman take you away for 'questioning'.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

You mong

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

*belms*

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:57, archived)

Were the losing pub quiz team a group of policemen?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:48, archived)

They stopped going.
They don't like losing, those coppers, oh no. One minute it's all smiling, semi-rural Heartbeat, the next it's all beating up black folk when they lose. Bastards, they are.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:51, archived)

Forget that and beat her about the face for being an evil polluting driver.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:48, archived)

show them the ornate trophy you got for winning the quiz

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:49, archived)

That ornate trophy consisted of eight pints

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:51, archived)

show them 8 pints of piss then

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:56, archived)

I believe this is also a strong contender for action to be taken

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:58, archived)

Very.
When I was still at school I got a hit and run notification for 3 in the morning, 10 miles away from home, on a schoolnight. I went to the station and said "butbutbutit's not FAIR" and they said "Ah, OK, ignore it" and wrote it off.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:52, archived)

That will be the plan then
Plus she's blonde and has tits. This is a winner.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

Plenty of witnesses. Do you know the landlord/lady well?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:53, archived)

We knew just about everyone in there that night

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:53, archived)

There you go then. Go en masse to the police station and give statements.
Or...something.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:54, archived)

n l

/Yorkshire
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:54, archived)

A plague on both your houses.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

I don't know
but there's a child trying to stare me out on the bus. He looks a little unhinged.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:53, archived)

Smile and lick your lips

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:54, archived)

nut him

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

have you nutted him yet?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:03, archived)

it's about time you picked on somebody your own size

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:03, archived)

Pat the seat next to you and start stroking your cheek.
Enthusiastically.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

He's late for school

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

You know when you balance a pencil between your nose and your top lip?
Do that, but with a poo.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:56, archived)

"Mummy mummy! The Pringles man smells funny!"

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:56, archived)

Avoid the corn at all costs.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:56, archived)

Stay out of the long grass.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:57, archived)

Evil children in cinema
don't look as evil as they did in the 70s/80s. Damien, that Isaac kid out of Children of the Corn....
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:58, archived)

macaulay culkin?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:01, archived)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

*tickles your balls*

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:44, archived)

:O

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:45, archived)

Shush
Important question above
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:45, archived)

i'm suing you for sexual harassment
help me INTERNETLAWYERMAN
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:45, archived)

Don't encourage any more shit memes
for fucks sake
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:52, archived)

i don't mind that one, to be honest

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

Morning!
Exam in less than 2 hours, first time I've been up before 7. First time I've not done anything stupid in my sleep for about a month...feeling good I reckon

How are you?
(

Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:51, archived)

Conkers deep in your [insert female relative here]
So good.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:54, archived)

fe
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:11, archived)

I always thought
It was supposed to be "spuds"
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:19, archived)

That's a wild overestimate

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:19, archived)

Not from where I'm looking

(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:21, archived)

*snort*

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:23, archived)

I've got one "spud" the size of a grapefruit
The other one's big!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:24, archived)

I was searching for "baby new potatoes"
God bless the internet

farm4.static.flickr.com/3286/2776082514_47662d2227.jpg?v=0
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:26, archived)

There's a truck that goes past me every day
It has a doberman painted on the side with the phrase 'Baws Deep'
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:22, archived)

I bought a 4 year old son of a friend a card that said
"Have truckloads of fun on your birthday!"

I lolled
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:25, archived)

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:58, archived)

How many votes did the Baldmonkey party receive?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:59, archived)

11

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:59, archived)

All of them.
I basically am Europe now.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:00, archived)

Can we take labour voters out and shoot them now?
I think its time to take out 'the list'
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:03, archived)

There were a lot of parties round my area
Including something like Animals For Justice or some shit.

It was just some bird, her husband, and someone else who clearly wants to fuck one of them.

Can we start with that lot and anyone who voted for them?

EDIT: They're called "Animals Count"

EDIT EDIT: fuck you animals count www.animalscount.org/
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:07, archived)

Did you point out that some monkeys can also spell?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:09, archived)

I'll lock them bleeding in a room with a load of hungry cats and see what happens.
Fuck them and their joke political party.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:11, archived)

You've only just figured this out?
Who didn't teach balders about mortality people???
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:59, archived)

NOT WITH A LIBERAL GOVERNMENT WE WON'T

(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:10, archived)

Moon cups and hemp clothes for EVERYONE

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:12, archived)

You're confusing them with the Hippie Wanker Party

(

SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:13, archived)

www.animalscount.org/
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:16, archived)

I've had 4 hours sleep
I have to be up to get MUSE TICKETS (LOLMUSICAL OPINIONS fuck off)

I am very cranky.

What do you mean "stupid" in your sleep?
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:58, archived)

Seig Heil!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:03, archived)

DON'T PUSH ME ABERDEEN
;)

How art thee monsieur?
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:03, archived)

I think i might actually still be asleep
Being in my office is unlikely to wake me up either
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:10, archived)

I suggest horrible coffee, black, filled with sugar.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:13, archived)

Waaaaaay ahead of you
*twitches*
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:26, archived)

A nuclear device
Detonating on Union Street is not likely to wake you up either!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:20, archived)

Might sort out the traffic issues though
And thats only going to get worse with the utterly mahoosive new shopping centre opening up
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:24, archived)

Be fair
Aberdeen being nuked would cause millions of pounds woth of improvements
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:42, archived)

I LIKE MUSE A LOT

(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:07, archived)

i think i am still tipsy from last night
I HAD A VERY NICE TIME
(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:07, archived)

that's good to know dear.
I like muse and alcohol together too!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:09, archived)

well you'd have to be drunk, wouldn't you.

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:31, archived)

LOLOPINIONS

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:32, archived)

damn right

better than yours
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:57, archived)

*tipsy high five*
Good on ya lady.

I'm so crazy, me and my mate got on it last night, finished the whole bottle. HAHAHA IT'S FUNNY CUZ WE WERE DRINKING SQUASH :*(

Did you go to a marvellous party?

And also, MUSEFTMFW
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:10, archived)

I WENT TO SEE JAZZ
this band

they were very good. i was dancing in my seat.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:15, archived)

Was the lead singer a handsome debonair chap?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:17, archived)

no he was cheeky and smiley and chubby and i liked him.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:20, archived)

i mean, YEAH SURE handsome and debonair.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:20, archived)

Don't ruin my dreams
Dooooood
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:21, archived)

he had a cool hat and some good patter.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:24, archived)

:)

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:27, archived)

am tired and grumpy with my boss.
He was supposed to call ME for work when he came back from south la-di-fricken-dah africa but did he? NO. I get a call from a collegue asking what time I'm coming in and I've got no idea. Text the boss. "Oh yeah sorry am so jetlagged - can you come in at 5:30?". No I can't fucking get there at five fucking thirty. I'll be there at six you lazy disorganised prick.

And you can bet he'll be using me as his "I'm-going-to-vent-on-an-employee-until-they-cry" person today. Cunt.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:07, archived)

Steal his favourite pen and wipe your bum on it
Then drop it on his desk
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:11, archived)

it's a restaurant.
tis a little difficult.

I'm just grumpy that he demands me there at his every beck and freaking call when I've had an exam and need half an hour to actually properly collect myself when he knows I have exams on.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:13, archived)

DEATH, DEATH TO HIM

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:14, archived)

tempting but seeing as how I'm not (yet) in his will and testament
won't do me anygood.

Baldmonkey - any way you can get me into somebody's will?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:18, archived)

Awake.
That's about it. And, well I say awake, just barely.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:17, archived)

*applies foot rubs to lull you awake*

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:19, archived)

Thanks lady.
I really wouldn't if I were you. My feet are stupidly ticklish and I'd end up hoofing you in your face. The thought was LOVELY though :)
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:25, archived)

I had an ex with stupidly tickly feet
He once actually booted me out of bed cuz my toe touched his foot.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:27, archived)

Talking of bird violence
My missus' 'natural reaction' to me taking a photo of her bare arsed, asleep, was to kick me in the stomach. The following hour was a little strained.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:29, archived)

Has she ever been in prison?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:32, archived)

No
And for a bird of her calibre from the north east that is unheard of.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:33, archived)

Sounds like a reasonable response to me.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:35, archived)

Her contrition was displayed later in the traditional manner.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:37, archived)

Blowjobs and cups of tea?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:40, archived)

The drink was champagne
I think that's a fair response to unwarranted violence
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:42, archived)

Sneezy
And glad it's the weekend soon.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:38, archived)

finally i'm home from work, i'm having tomorrow off that's for sure, fucking 22hr day, sod em
drunk people on night busses really smell and and young posh girls voices grate on me

how are you angry today?
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:34, archived)

Not very, should really go to bed.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:35, archived)

i'm going to stay up for a bit, i have no booze tho, sadtimes
great forum
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:35, archived)

Boo
I drank all mine, sad times indeed, great forum.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:37, archived)

there was nowhere open when i left work at 3, london has gone down hill, i was going to pop to smithfields and get and early guinness at the pub, but i came home
good boy times
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:38, archived)

Very well behaved.
That's shit, I thought London was the city of dreams, pubs open all the time, great times.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:42, archived)

it was all pissed teenagers walking around, i wasn't in the mood for kids, too grumpy and old
old times
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:45, archived)

*old fives*

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:47, archived)

i was cold too, i didn't take a jumper to work as it was warm and i thought i'd leave at 4pm not am
some one will pay for this, 12 hours at double pay great times
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:51, archived)

Was this all because of the power cut?
Fucking hell. It is cold now. Some cunt is up banging at stuff already.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:52, archived)

yeah, it all went a bit wrong when they switched the juice back, i sorted it tho, but my brain hurt
it is too early for banging, stab them in the ear with a tent peg
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:54, archived)

I might, I have some spare ones.
It's ten floors down, though.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:57, archived)

10 floors and you can hear it? what are they using a kango? fucking do a number on them, use all your tent pegs, i can send you some more i've got loads of bivvy pegs

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:01, archived)

They've stopped now, they must have heard me telling them to fuck off.
It's very quiet, sound is carrying well.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:03, archived)

Right, time to sleep, good chat, good times.
Sleep times now.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:03, archived)

good night
great dreams times
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:06, archived)

oh well i'll have a little chat to myself now then
any plans for the weekend mate?
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:07, archived)

dunno really, alot of the lads are going up spider daves to watch the football saturday, you know spider don't you?

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:08, archived)

is that the fella with the snooker club? over the co-op?

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:08, archived)

yeah that's spiders place, i might go there if you fancy it

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:09, archived)

not sure fella, i might go fishing, could go now i suppose, no work today

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:10, archived)

fishing eh, that sounds like a good idea, you'll have to take me one day

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:11, archived)

yeah i will, no problem at all, have a few beers bit of lake banter great times

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:11, archived)

did you hear about Sir Sand Goblin?

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:12, archived)

no, what has that little rascal been up to now?

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:13, archived)

he's only gone and got himself cancer, seems quite bad by all accounts but he is being very brave about it

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:14, archived)

that is fucking shit news, any idea what type of cancer?

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:14, archived)

i dunno really, of the st. pancras or summat, sounds nasty

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:15, archived)

ooh, that's got to smart, he's only young too, poor fella, i must remember to pity him a bit when he next post, brave little lamb

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:16, archived)

i'm sure he'll be fine, big strong fella like him, he'll beat this cancer even if it kills him doing it

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:17, archived)

brb need a wee

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:18, archived)

no worries, i'm hanging around, quiet tho aint it

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:18, archived)

i'm back, yes it is dead in here this morning, i might go to bed myself

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:20, archived)

don't blame you, might call it a night here if your going

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:21, archived)

i could stay up for a bit if you like?

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:22, archived)

nah, it's cool, night

(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:22, archived)

goodnight
i love you
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:23, archived)

love you too
x
(

mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:23, archived)

:'(
This is the most beautiful thing I have ever read.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 6:13, archived)

It's a beautiful day, the sun is shining, I'm listening to German goth rock and predicting a good cock-noshing from the missus tonight
The world looks good and I am at peace
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:08, archived)

she's going to cut it off and fry it?

HOW MUCH COAL DID YOU ORDER?!
(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:44, archived)

The Signal
Such a great film... good deaths... comedy middle

What legal things make you see things?
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:56, archived)

Lawyers are shit
They make me see red!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:03, archived)

I find listening to "Drop dead gorgeous" by Republica
Solves all problems.
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:06, archived)

From the Rooftops!
FTW!
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:15, archived)

spectacles.

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:25, archived)

testicles.

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:30, archived)

wallet.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:34, archived)

watch.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 4:34, archived)

AMEN!

(

Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 5:16, archived)

aint been on here in a while
and i dont know why, its great on here!!!
(

RBX13 the cake is not a lie, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:13, archived)

fuck off cunt

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:14, archived)

Stop using so many fucking exclamation marks.
It makes you look like a dickhead.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:15, archived)

yes! yes it does!
hello!
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:15, archived)

HELLO CUNTSICLE
How the fuck is your face, then?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:16, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6200512
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:19, archived)

Nobody cares,
shag off.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:20, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6200547
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:21, archived)

Now do what I used to do, and edit one of the links so it goes in a loop.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:23, archived)

I prefer the retarded attention to detail
Each one just that little bit more retarded and personal
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:26, archived)

lol i am well buff innit

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:20, archived)

o rite.
mrbongo says I am shit, I must be shit.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:21, archived)

mrbongo is totally awesome.
You should give him another chance. Such terrible hate - we should be more loving in this sad time of SSGCancer.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:22, archived)

I hope he does die, that'd show him.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:26, archived)

I totally hope he dies, he's a dreadful person and he doesn't deserve to live

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:30, archived)

He really is.
All he does is cause trouble, and spread misery.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:31, archived)

You don't know misery.
Not until you get to page 10: b3ta.belm.co.uk/journey

NSFW.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:34, archived)

Don't freakin joke about it
He showed me his lump the other day. Like a watermelon on the side of a cocker spaniel
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:31, archived)

He showed you his pancreas?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:33, archived)

yeah
it's not very big. You'd have thought a guy that big would have a bigger pancreas.
(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:36, archived)

Has SSG really got cancer, or is this some kind of meme?
If he has, then that's the saddest thing I've heard in a very long time.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:35, archived)

It's his latest nonsense.
A bit like his old Vegetarian Crusade.
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:36, archived)

it's doubly sad coming so soon after his brother died

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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:37, archived)

I quite liked what Wurst Puns posted the other day
goblin.gonetoosoon.org/

I know a few people who deserve this treatment!
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fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:40, archived)

!!!
why!!!!
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RBX13 the cake is not a lie, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:16, archived)

Retard.

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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:17, archived)

poo

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RBX13 the cake is not a lie, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:18, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6200547
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mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:20, archived)

So what did they say about the brick?
Besides "B".
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:20, archived)

yeh lol its fuckin brilint innit

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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:16, archived)

Portal is shit.
You're shit.

FUCK OFF
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WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:16, archived)

Portal is actually seventy-six shades of fucking awesome.
Just a small error there that you made in your post.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:21, archived)

I played it.
I didn't enjoy it at all.
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WHARRGARBL, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:23, archived)

Oh right, great logic there!
Have you tried buggery? No? Well how do you know if that's fucking shit or not? eh? eh?

Oh. Bad example.
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:25, archived)

What a shame.
I thought it was rather good.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:26, archived)

Where's baldmonkey when you need him?
*May not be a genuine question*
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fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:26, archived)

You're so shit
even your similes are racist
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executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:47, archived)

*Sniggers*

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fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:55, archived)

yeah grate forum

grating banter
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Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 3:56, archived)

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