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# Well, seeing as how it seems to be ironically crap post day

I am actually often annoyed to distraction by this, particularly in local rag mags...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:36, archived)
# *is annoyed*
now i'm all distracted!!
=D
arf!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:36, archived)
# *dangles shiny things in front of Ivesb*
Look here!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:39, archived)
# Ah...
I see you have a silver cock ring as well - impressed
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:42, archived)
# mine!
*grabs shiny things*
ooooo, shiny!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:43, archived)
# Shiny things!
Doesn't just work on ives - I swear I was a magpie in a previous life...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:43, archived)
# I did science on this very thing
and discovered that 98½% of people suffer from the same malady.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:46, archived)
# *draws sword*
*beats a path through all the other b3tans to get to it*
huh huh huh!!
SHINEY!!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:45, archived)
# *shoots ivesb in the back*
the precious is ours!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:50, archived)
# *rises*
*beheads smashster*
GROOOOOAAAAARRRRR!!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:52, archived)
# *dies*
*becomes ghost*
VENGEANCE SHALL BE MINE!!!!
*discovers ghosts can't fwap*
*cries*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:58, archived)
# The only way to hypnotize ivesb is with this...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:16, archived)
# Bah I fell for it
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 16:05, archived)
# Mainly it just bugs me someone gets paid to do this
The worst is one in a local rag that is not only usually very very poorly drawn one frame caricatures of celebs, but it then labels everything, and has an explanation of what the joke is, usually included within it as one of the characters holding a newspaper with the appropriate headline on it for no apparent reason.

Subtle...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:44, archived)
# hahaha!!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:46, archived)
# LOLZ!1!!!
:D
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:38, archived)
# Pata pata pata pon!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:54, archived)
# Don't give away the secrets!

Damn your eyes man. How will I get another front page ever again now?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:40, archived)
# Hahaha!
;)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:47, archived)
# In which case I'll pearoast this.


Click for ironically crap cartoon.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:43, archived)
# *claps loudly*
:)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:43, archived)
# 'lo 22!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:47, archived)
# tennis cat
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:32, archived)
# Tiger Tims replacement?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:34, archived)
# haha!!
tabby tim!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:34, archived)
# Even a feline with no training or opposable thumb would be better
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:35, archived)
# hahaha!!
*imagines a kitten with a racket sellotaped to it's paw*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:36, archived)
# Pussy Peter?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:36, archived)
# new balls!!
hw keeps scratching them up!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:34, archived)
# Gymnastics cat
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:36, archived)
# They would rock at parallel bars
Although for the beam, you want a rock wallaby
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:38, archived)
# This is why they get up to (apart from murdering birds)
when we aren't looking.
Top shadowage and topshop!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:38, archived)
# 'ningles pot!
*pinches bum*
;)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:39, archived)
# 'ning
Oi! Come back with my bum. I need it!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:40, archived)
# BWAHAHAHAHA!!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:48, archived)
# thanks
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:01, archived)
# I know him!


Woo BTW! ;)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:40, archived)
# haha that's fab
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:57, archived)
# Someone has one of him skiing
That was pretty fab!

*edit* b3ta.com/board/7590254 has the original and look down the page for teh skiing one
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:06, archived)
# that's him!
and thanks
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:58, archived)
# Yay cats n sports
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:03, archived)
# oh and extreme horses!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:04, archived)
# yeah!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:05, archived)
# I'm playing a game of "ms paint an album cover and let others guess the album"
and thought it would be fun to cross post it here.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:22, archived)
# where else are you playing this?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:23, archived)
# Is it 'Carnage' by Lair of the Minotaur?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:23, archived)
# no
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:24, archived)
# tomahawk
one of patton's not so good projects imo
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:24, archived)
# winnar.
I picked it because it was piss easy to draw.

round 2
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:25, archived)
# Looks vaguely like a Chemical Brothers cover.
Only I remember it being a lady, with no moustache.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:27, archived)
# well done!
i'm a bit of a fud when it comes to drawing
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:29, archived)
# 'Mona Lisa B&W Side Profile' by The Monochromes?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:27, archived)
# london boyz
edit/ blimey they died :(
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:27, archived)
# I downloaded Requiem the other night
Awesome.

My co-workers didn't think so when I started playing it at work though.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:34, archived)
# Chemical Brothers
Dig your owen hole
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:27, archived)
# my brother's called owen
I don't want to think about your sentence too hard
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:34, archived)
# believe it or not, this is NOT a photo of the album cover
I made it with photoshops

(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:34, archived)
# Ha ha ha
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:35, archived)
# Hahahaha
This is wonderful!
Edit: I am enjoying this thread.
Musics and Photoshop is the best combination since beans on toats.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:36, archived)
# am I the only one here
who can shout TOATS while waking up first thing in the morning and is brought marmite on toast, in bed, by flatmate?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:39, archived)
# yes
lucky cunt.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:40, archived)
# Probably
I don't think many of us here have personal gimps.

Edit: In a similar vein...
www.b3ta.com/board/7814015
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:40, archived)
# OH HAI WEBSHERIFF HERE
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:36, archived)
# O NOEZ
*runs*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:37, archived)
# Uncanny, really


Nefferheehee
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:43, archived)
# Yey..
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:24, archived)
# Bloody cows
They think the sun shines out their arse
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:26, archived)
# pffft!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:27, archived)
# Noon T
How are they hanging?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:27, archived)
# Pendulous
Yours?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:28, archived)
# * Looks up Pendulous
1. Hanging loosely; suspended so as to swing or sway.
2. Wavering; undecided.

* Mine is now vertical
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:36, archived)
# woo! I made one too...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:41, archived)
# nevermind.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:43, archived)
# a winnar is you!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:44, archived)
# 'Crappy Brown and Red MSPaint Work' by The Crud?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:25, archived)
# mel and kim
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:27, archived)
# showin' out
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:28, archived)
# is it "Eisensteinium och Dogfabrikken Pasty" by Romuald Ter-borcht and the Fancyfree Ocelots?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:27, archived)
# I LOVE them
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:29, archived)
# and their 45-date tour of Sri Lanka is nearly over
so they'll be back in Swindon before we know it!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:31, archived)
# Is it "A Little Man and a House and the Whole World Window"
by Cardiacs?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:28, archived)
# Gary Glitter's Council Gritter?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:29, archived)
[challenge entry] Shameless pearost for compo
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:15, archived)
# peeroast
shirley?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:16, archived)
# hahaha!!!
we've got one of those round the corner
nice chicken pies.
=D
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:17, archived)
# i read that as chicken piss
lol
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:19, archived)
# its a great thirst quencher!
=)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:19, archived)
# Really?
One's opened up in the dodgy area of our town, I might pop along if it's worth it.

How's their plain chicken?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:19, archived)
# i dunno.
the wife sent me down for some bread once and while i was looking for it i saw a chicken pie and thought 'yum'
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:21, archived)
# Try the helicopter beef
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:25, archived)
# it's not as bad as you'd think
i went there a while ago, they have some pretty decent stuff. chocolate is very cheap there.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:32, archived)
# Try
The caramel crunch biscuits
they are to die for
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:33, archived)
# i've only been in there once
but my mum goes in there for snacks. i shall order her to purchase some, which i shall then eat when i visit her.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:48, archived)
# IVES!
Was just looking at the Brum bash pics - Mrs Ives is not at all as I imagined....
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:20, archived)
# what did you imagine?
nothing bad i hope!
=)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:22, archived)
# You mean she's not imaginary?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:22, archived)
# *smacks*
=D
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:23, archived)
# LIIIIIINK
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:25, archived)
# she's the one in the middle
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:26, archived)
# I must admit
I thought the red head had to be Captain wow
Am I wrong?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:29, archived)
# yep.
that was doctor whens old work collegue jeanie.
lovely lady!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:30, archived)
# Indeed
Very Lovely
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:31, archived)
# haha!!
she showed mr her bra!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:33, archived)
# Dribbles
She is a vission of tall lovelyness
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:34, archived)
# Pfft, not me.
Ives your wife's lovely looking.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:33, archived)
# thank you mon capitan!!
if we can get the funds together, you can meet her in may!
=D
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:35, archived)
# Heehee!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:18, archived)
# i just put in to sell 33 hours leave back to the hospital.
if they sort it out quickly enough, that'll be london bash money!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:24, archived)
# You're selling leave for us?!
You fucking blesspot.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:26, archived)
# *beams*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:27, archived)
# Awwwwwwwww.
I shall buy you a bevvie or two.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:33, archived)
# thanks cap!!
you're the best captain.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:38, archived)
# lulz!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:26, archived)
#
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:07, archived)
# and alan partridge's facial features,
it seems.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:11, archived)
# Dan!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:12, archived)
# I had some warp tool fun.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:12, archived)
# are you calling alan partridge a warped tool?
actually, i'd have to agree with that ;)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:14, archived)
# Well I just wanna rock and roll all night
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:11, archived)
# AND PARTY EVERY DAY
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:13, archived)
# and party
every day? me too!
EDIT: piss.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:13, archived)
# \o/ Kiss Army.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:19, archived)
# *air guitars*
woo!


(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:21, archived)
# it's just that tongue
it gives me bad thoughts...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:25, archived)
# Frehley FTW
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:34, archived)
# he does look awesome
but everyone knows you're a whore for guitarists ;)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:45, archived)
# and
...have a wonderful time?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:36, archived)
# pffft
*spang*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:12, archived)
# Are those three wanking?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:13, archived)
# Oh yes.
If you look closely, there's some tongue action going on, too.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:14, archived)
# puir wee Gordon
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:15, archived)
# they're all a bunch of over paid winkers!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:16, archived)
# hahaha!!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:16, archived)
# needs more dogs with disabilities
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:55, archived)
# *informs lawyers*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:56, archived)
# Needs more Monday
Oh wait....
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:57, archived)
# tell me why



wonders if anyone is old enough to get this reply
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:59, archived)
# I get it
and I'm at the tender young age of 23.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:00, archived)
# excellent
what did I mean by it?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:02, archived)
# ...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:04, archived)
# ...and
I've only just realised that it actually is Monday.

And I don't like it.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:04, archived)
# :)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:05, archived)
# Cos it's exciting for the veterans
and it's a tonic for the troops.
and those two lines are the entirety of good music made by Geldof.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:01, archived)
# hahahaha
that's ace
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:09, archived)
# \o

I am
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:01, archived)
# Monday Bloody Monday
It's a Pshchedelic Furs refererence isn't it?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:01, archived)
# arf
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:03, archived)
# i don't like it
it smells of soup.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:02, archived)
# i'm gonna shoo-oooo-oooo-oooooooooot
the....whole......day.....down......
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:02, archived)
# Yay!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:02, archived)
# 2nd record i ever had
my dad was given it by an old lady, he gave it to me. love it.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:05, archived)
# It was only the other day!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:35, archived)
# Ah the Boomtown Rats
methinks.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:44, archived)
# Bloody lol.
In other news....
Methinks someone at HP has been subjected to the Goatse curse.

hover over the Small & Medium Business :)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:58, archived)
# sfw?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:00, archived)
# I had to refresh 5 times before I found the image you meant ;)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:00, archived)
# I feel so British,
I was expecting HP sauce when I saw that link.

Edit: NO RING FAKE!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:01, archived)
# Wow.
High definition garfulds, like on the Sky TV.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:58, archived)
# And yet still...
if you remove the thought bits, it's becomes even more surreally funny...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:00, archived)
# Yay
Welsh Garfield needs more sheep!

:P
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:02, archived)
# haha profound!
:)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:03, archived)
# :D


One and only b3ta post for today
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:06, archived)
# :D
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:10, archived)
# ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:12, archived)
# My...
What a long one you have
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:23, archived)
# i prefer this style to your usual Mr Toast :)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:07, archived)
[challenge entry] I have a real beef with SONY lately...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:47, archived)
# *goes and cuddles PS3*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:56, archived)
# Yes thats what Sony does.
Thats what they've always done.

Now they've won the HiDef disk war it will get worse for the punters that dont understand this. Download HD - disks are dead.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:57, archived)
# Blu Ray is just the format like CD
loads of people are making Blu Ray players and writers.

(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:58, archived)
# Blu Ray is the licence to control the market
and pump out DRM
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:05, archived)
# Hmm, that's unfortunate.
Still, it's becoming increasingly unfashionable to try that. And I'm glad the higher-tech format won this time.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:17, archived)
# Sounds like someone's
MOANY.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:58, archived)
# I've never had a problem with any Sony product being compatible.
Sorry.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:59, archived)
# I force my Sony Bravia to show 360 games!
MWHAHAHAHA!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:29, archived)
[challenge entry] Looking at my toaster this morning, this idea "popped up".


It worked better in my head than in reality but that's probably due to my current skill level!

Getting photoshop this week so hopefully things will improve :)

Incidentally for those fonts not on the net, how do you all match them so well?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:43, archived)
# with tracing paper
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:44, archived)
# I use silly putty
just push it against the text and peel away to get the font you want. it's magic.




Might only work on newspapers actually
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:46, archived)
# But...
How do you get "other" letters?

Take this for an example.

Started with Dualit, how do I get other letters that match the font?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:51, archived)
# either find the exact font
or make new bits out of existing word if it allows (this doesn't really)

Or use a completely new typeface
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:54, archived)
# Yup.
A new but similar typeface is the answer.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:05, archived)
# splendid
but the all chrome classic is the best one.

*strokes toaster*

*burns fingers*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:44, archived)
# You see?
You play with toasters, you get burnt!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:46, archived)
# *scrapes off burnt bits of finger, smears with butter, eats*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:47, archived)
# I thought
You were a hippy/vegetarian?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:48, archived)
# Nordic deities
are made out of parsnip.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:51, archived)
# That is SUCH a predictable response.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:53, archived)
# That's what I've got
But I'm not good enough to match the colouring/shading using paint so I chose an easier option.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:48, archived)
# www.dafont.com
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:46, archived)
# There used to be an online font matcher
but I can't find it now
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:46, archived)
# myfonts.com/whatthefont
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:51, archived)
# aha
yep, that's it
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:31, archived)
# If I don't have an exact match, I either make up the parts I need from the rest of the logo/type
or just find a typeface that's nearly correct and use 'shop to bend and mold it into a match for the rest of the lettering, which is what I just did for the 'Mony' one above...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:50, archived)
# OK
So with Photoshop I'll be able to do it better than with paint like my attempt above?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:53, archived)
# Photoshop better than paint. In all ways.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:55, archived)
# apart from when you want to decorate
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:56, archived)
# *designs wallpaper in photoshop*
*prints out 100000 sheets*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:58, archived)
# Thanks all :)
Roll on Photoshop!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:58, archived)
# this thing haunted my dreams last night
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Would

* with hammers
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:27, archived)
# cor
I had that bloody Mika 'song' in my head all night

not even Girls Aloud* could get it out


*I'll try anything
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:29, archived)
# which one?
relax? damn its in my head again
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:30, archived)
# that 'everybody's gonna love today' thing
jesus, it's like having torrential anal catarrh
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:34, archived)
# gah
thats a very annoying song...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:36, archived)
# Bastaaaaarrrrdddd!!!!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:32, archived)
# i'll try any of girls aloud as well
even the ginger one.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:32, archived)
# * ginger one...

* dribbles
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:34, archived)
# yeah, they're all nice
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:40, archived)
# eeeewwwwwww
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:40, archived)
# just to say that i had
in the name of science.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:43, archived)
# flaming d.i.y tools?
you bet!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:30, archived)
# KILL IT WITH HAMMERS!
woo
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:45, archived)
# :)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:58, archived)
# ha ha
yes!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:02, archived)
# Erykah Badu's secret is finally revealed....


No wonder she always looks so jolly....
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:16, archived)
# drugs?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:16, archived)
# she has worms in her head?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:17, archived)
# burmese neck stretching tribe?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:17, archived)
# Beyond the sun?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:18, archived)
# The library of Congress?
Bachelor Party 2 has just come out in america...bet its shit
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:23, archived)
# Batchelor party 2.
What could possibly be better but perhaps Police Academy XXVIII
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:26, archived)
# errr....

(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:19, archived)
# hahahah.....
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:22, archived)
# Oh - and, er... throw him to the floor again, Sir?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:22, archived)
# 'bout 20 past one
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:23, archived)
# we've got lumps of it
round the back
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Heh... heh...
There are lumps of it 'round the back...

EDIT: curse these slow hands!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:29, archived)
# ba-zing!
too slow, chicken marengo, too slow for THIS cat!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:31, archived)
# Yeah but mine's better-looking than yours.
It's got italics in it and everything.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:35, archived)
# bah!
lording your fancy italics over me!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:40, archived)
# stwike him, centuwian!
vewy woughly!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:24, archived)
# Welease Wob!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:36, archived)
# welease wodewick!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:39, archived)
# Almost as good as the Johnathan Woss one.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:35, archived)
# Haha
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:54, archived)
# Working hard for London...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:04, archived)
# Ah
The clown prince of Tories.

He's great.

An absolute idiot, but well worth at least 20p.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:05, archived)
# This. Is. Brill.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:05, archived)
# Ta
Fank ooh...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:09, archived)
# ANAL SMTP
that's how my server feels
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:05, archived)
# maybe you should delete some of your nawty downloads
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:16, archived)
# he's shit
but he's so funny that you just don't care.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:08, archived)
# I just adore his bluster.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:08, archived)
# same here
i'm dying to see him on Q.I
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:14, archived)
# what about his racism?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:14, archived)
# Did I say I agreed with his sentiments?
Edit: being a person that's dealt with racial abuse from both white people (generally skinheads) and asian people (Muslims don't like Jews. Fair enough.) I've come to learn that in general, racism doesn't extend to much more than words (I do say in general, I know some subnormal people act upon it) and words are just words. The day I let what someone I don't care about says affect me is the day I come to terms with being a pussy.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:20, archived)
# you said pussy
heheheheh
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:26, archived)
# kittens!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:27, archived)
# now i'm hungry again
bah.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:28, archived)
# me too!
hmm what to eat...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:33, archived)
# BACON.
lots and lots of bacon.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:46, archived)
# your a woman after my own heart
funny enough... thats what i cooked :D
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:07, archived)
# i had bacon
for breakfast. it was accompanied by toats.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:18, archived)
# I had bacon with eggy bread.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:19, archived)
# eggy bread!
i haven't had that for years! i'm very tempted to go to the just doors cafe tomorrow for a full english. they're feckin' huge!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:23, archived)
#
cafe brothel
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:25, archived)
# brothels
may do an all-day breakfast, but it's never fresh, except for the fruit. the girls need those vitamins...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:29, archived)
# which of the five
scientifically accepted races has he claimed are inferior to another race by only the fact of their racial differences?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:20, archived)
# There are scientifically accepted races?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:24, archived)
# Immigrants, Refugees, Asylum Seekers, Yobs and Miscellaneous
it says so here in this Daily Mail cut-out-and-keep guide
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:26, archived)
# yes
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Caucasoid
Negroid
Mongoloid

what are the two others?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Matt & Luke Goss
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:28, archived)
# Hahahaha!
I was thinking geese and sandwiches.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:29, archived)
# haha
+10 for geese
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:30, archived)
# :D
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:31, archived)
# Atlanteans and
Scientologists.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:29, archived)
# What would the collected peoples of the South Pacific come under?
Negroid?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:31, archived)
# I can't remember.
it gets all confuscated by sub-species then. Australoid I guess. I'm not that interested. I just hate the word racist, it's always misused.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:35, archived)
# I hate the word minge.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:36, archived)
# Is your minge always misused?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:38, archived)
# *wishes*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:51, archived)
# I'm unclear on the technicality of whether it applies to the furry part or the flappy part.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:40, archived)
# It refers to the entire area I believe.
It's just a horrible word for such a brilliant thing.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:41, archived)
# I just looked it up,
Princeton University say it can apply to either. It's good to have authorities on such matters.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:43, archived)
# haemorrhoid and graboid
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:30, archived)
# TRAPEZOID!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:32, archived)
# ZOIDBERG!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:41, archived)
# WUB WUB WUB WUB!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:42, archived)
# hahahahahahaha!
you owe me a keyboard!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:52, archived)
# africans
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:25, archived)
# Africans are not a race.
They would fall under the term Negroids.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:28, archived)
# so i can shout PAKIS OUT?
because that is not racism
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:29, archived)
# Nobody's stopping you.
Although that's one of the quickest ways to be beaten into a rather lovely, semi-liquid pulp.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:30, archived)
# Yep. Paki
is a perfectly reasonable term for a Pakistani. It would seem that only the PC brigade have issues with it. The Pakis don't. Same with all words, it depends upon the other words you use in conjunction.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:31, archived)
# When I was at school,
I thought Pakis were the people who brought a packed lunch to school. I was a Paki for a while.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:34, archived)
# Actually there are quite a few Pakistanis who do have a prollem with it.
I know some.

It's not so much the technicality of it being a contraction of Pakistani, but more the fact that when they were at school they would be chased by gangs of children screaming "Kill the fucking Paki" who would then proceed to beat them up, flush their head in the loo, and put dogshit through their letterbox that they don't like about it.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:34, archived)
# yer, I've got mates who are offended by it
I've heard Indians shout it at Pakistanis in Slough - dunno why that seems more odd to me than white folks shouting it, mind you my mate had to hide in his shed while this went on: www.easterneyeonline.co.uk/iframe_story.asp?NID=2505
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:40, archived)
# It's odd, how these rivalries are still in the minds of young people
even though it's not really their argument, but their great-great-grandfathers, or whatever. As I was saying above, I've been racially abused by muslims for my kikey credentials before and I really don't know why. They're British. I'm British. Whatever beef we're meant to have each other is centuries old, but then so is the idea of usingf arsenic as skin whitener. I just wish sometimes people would grow up and make up their own minds.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:45, archived)
# muslims.
oy.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:49, archived)
# there is only one race
the human race
racism is just bollocks
i don't discriminate i hate everyone, regardless of skin colour - so many useless wastes of skin out there
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:32, archived)
# Well, Africans are more genetically diverse than non-Africans.
So, there could be 10 African 'races' and one other race 'non-African'.

I don't think that it's all that simple, really.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:39, archived)
# Of course it's not
but the further you pull away from a subject the more broad the definition. For instance- maths. You and I both know there's a lot more to maths than that, but an appropriate heading is needed when grouping it with other broad definitions.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:41, archived)
# SUMS
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:43, archived)
# Well done, have a balloon.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:47, archived)
# He's not very good at that, it's a weak point.
Like when he said "I'm absolutely 100 per cent antiracist, I despise and loathe racism." Very poor effort at being racist.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:20, archived)
#
"I'm not a racist, because racism is a crime. And only black people commit crime."
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:23, archived)
# See, if he'd said that about my people (that sounds so silly, but you know what I mean)
I'd have found it funny, because it's obviously wrong.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:24, archived)
# hahaha!!
to the celler with him!.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:15, archived)
# This post
angers, confuses, scares and excites me. Woo

(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:18, archived)
# That's the full range of emotion right there!
Hi cockalorum
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:23, archived)
# Oh I wanted to add
so many more but I barely squeezed that lot into the filesize.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:24, archived)
# I love when it goes smug
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:26, archived)
# all the faces you'd make if you'd eaten something your not supposed to...
hnnnngplopaaarghhahhh
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:23, archived)
# Reminds me of this...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:25, archived)
# oh, arrrgh ooooh
haha, brilliant.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:30, archived)
# Oh thank you for re-linking that!
It is just the best thing in the world ever.

except for bacon.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:32, archived)
# Shits me up every time I see it!

* The clip that is, not your bacon.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:38, archived)
# I think it's a damning indictment of modern interwebbage that that hasn't made the front page...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:41, archived)
# I haz cleeked coz itz GOOD
ANALANALANAL
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:51, archived)
#
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:54, archived)
# hmmm
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:56, archived)
# hahaha
oh buggeration!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:57, archived)
# Damnit man, you know I can't see patients til I've done the homely loveable bit!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:56, archived)
# hehehe!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:58, archived)
# you'll have to excuse my ignorance...
what?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:01, archived)
# phew!
it's not just me then!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:02, archived)
# hehehe you need to be old!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:04, archived)
# im 27 on thursday
is that old enough?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:12, archived)
# no
i'm 33 and it's a tad before my time
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:15, archived)
# well i remember dr finn medicine woman
maybe i was getting that confused with this doctor?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:17, archived)
# Dr Quim?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:18, archived)
# thats her!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:20, archived)
# you mean doctor Quinn

or Doctor Quim, Medicine Cunt as someone once called it.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:19, archived)
# yes and the littlelist homo was the other thing, with gentle ben the bear
and they all flew around in a talking helicopter with red lights that went weeeowaweeeowa
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:21, archived)
# Same age as me
...and I knew what this was about...

/smug
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:17, archived)
# i see you sitting ther
eating that quaz-on (i cant spell) and drinking ya wine :P
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:26, archived)
# I'm not a pendant but
Quaz -on made me smile
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:35, archived)
# :)
i still cant spell it, little help?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:11, archived)
# Croissant
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Croissant
Apologies for delay. I'm sure you won't read this....
(, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 0:22, archived)
# Apparently...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:05, archived)
# yay for Radio Times
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:07, archived)
# ha ha

before i had a pc too!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:16, archived)
# hahaha these are great
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:17, archived)
# i also made alot of 3d ones too
but i can't find 1/2 of my stuff :(
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:22, archived)
# Who needs a job anyway?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:52, archived)
# Wow!
20% potassium phosphate! That phosphatey wine!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:56, archived)
# I hope that those are "0.05%", etc.
Otherwise it has 65% Na Glycerophosphate by weight.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:07, archived)
# Can no-one else see the points?
No-one?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:18, archived)
# Yay for monks!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:58, archived)
# I'M a monk . . .
. . .


. . .



. . .


well I have a monk's haircut . . .


(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:02, archived)
# and you have a dirty habit.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:07, archived)
# hahaha :)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:01, archived)
# An idea I had last night.

Lunch breaks are far too short!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:45, archived)
# Me too:
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:46, archived)
# *beholds*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:50, archived)
# i tried that once
i got stung
i didn't like it
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:53, archived)
# *spang*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:56, archived)
# I once stood on a dead bee whilst getting out of bed on friday the 13th.
That's the first and only time i've ever been stung.
I could tell it was gonna be a shit day!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:57, archived)
# So you phoned in sick and went straight to the pub, I take it?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:57, archived)
# how bizarre..
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:46, archived)
# Man says sit, dog barks?
I'm lost
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:49, archived)
# TJ: Next compo?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:49, archived)
# suddenly monkies!
argh they're climbing all over me
do do do do
*sings along*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:51, archived)
# what a great idea for a song..
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:52, archived)
# suddenly monkeys
are standing beside me,
suddenly monkeys
show me i can (yes you can)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:07, archived)
# Speaking of which
Anyone else get the Observer yesterday, and wonder why they photographed that rather lovely lady cyclist in the buff?

Not that I'm complaining... just wondered
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:57, archived)
# You need a reason for photographing lovely ladies in the buff these days?
Pah.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:58, archived)
# :D
I like this.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:50, archived)
# Cheers
I had the idea whilst noodling with t-shirt designs involving wax and thread and fabric after a pretty heavy smokey session at a mates place.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:55, archived)
# available in 2 sizes
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:41, archived)
# :D
3 men in a tub?


Also: are all Trojans pierced?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:45, archived)
# all mine are
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:47, archived)
# Oh I seeeeee
Sorry, I'm so bloody stupid at times. As you well know.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:52, archived)
# it's all that bloody salad your eating
clearly not good for you.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:53, archived)
# I know, I know.
But it's making a difference!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:02, archived)
# No, they just walk that way naturally.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:48, archived)
# *comedy trumpet*
nice one. :)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:46, archived)
# *squints* does that say bearded latex condoms?
also as the Captn' says : pierced?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:47, archived)
# i think it says brand
but bearded, why not?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:51, archived)
# what a strange place to get carpet burn....
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:56, archived)
# pff
i've just had to run a full scan because of those feckers.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:47, archived)
# Rock it right up the selecta!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:47, archived)
# Johnnies!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:53, archived)
# lol cocks
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:00, archived)
# That's, er, good.


Though incredibly scary. Especially to the Catholic in me.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:12, archived)
# You shouldn't eat Catholics.
They're very bad for your diet.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:12, archived)
[challenge entry] I certainly can
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:31, archived)
# my first attempt at an animal mash-up thingy....

(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:24, archived)
# OTTERS!
This is all of the woo
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:25, archived)
# yes, otters are cool
have you ever seen the giant otters from the amazon?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:27, archived)
# Ooooooh, no....
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:31, archived)
# they're huuuuuuuuuuuge
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:39, archived)
# Didn't Terry Nutkins loose a finger or two to an otter?
*goes off to find out*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:35, archived)
# They do play a hard game of poker.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:36, archived)
# Beware of angry otters named Edal:
At the age of 15, Terry moved to Scotland, where he lost two fingers to an angry otter named Edal
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:36, archived)
# i am full of otters
apparently
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:28, archived)
# Oh that's really nicely done!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:25, archived)
# Most terrible of the Mustelidae
or Cervidae, depending on your point of view

Woo
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:34, archived)
# That's rather nicely done.
Woo!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:35, archived)
# That's very good!
Here's my third attempt (The first two aren't worth mentioning)

(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:37, archived)
# that made me laugh a lot...
the dog's face is great....
I have a theory that black and white animals are the cutest animals - pandas, zebras, dalmations, etc... Discuss.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:41, archived)
# No, this is the cutest animal.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:43, archived)
# not just black and white, blacks good too on its own
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:45, archived)
# Hahaha! Lovely!
I too love the expression, it looks really not happy to find itself so transformed! ;)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:44, archived)
# yes, he looks shocked
and a little embarrased
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:52, archived)
# nice!
i've done quite a few. i was thinking of doing an otter one myself today. but have a woo!
and a wolf possum
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:43, archived)
# ..."I've done quite a few"...
O RLY? :P
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:50, archived)
# YA RLY!
animashes anyhow...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:51, archived)
# I had to look twice, what a wonderful animal
i did think it had giant horns for a bit too, that too would be amazingly cool :D
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:46, archived)
# there were horns
i dithered, but took them out in the end...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:54, archived)
# Hello B3ta
Been lurking a while, thought I'd post something for a change:



Inspired by mediocre and that fractal bungle off the cyriak video
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:17, archived)
# edward, edward hands...
yays!!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:18, archived)
# Quit your lurking, this is fabulous.
Woo
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:18, archived)
# lawks
my brain is broken
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:19, archived)
# Ooooh...
Nice.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:20, archived)
# oi, lurker, NO!
stay on here, where everybody can see your top-quality wooness!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:22, archived)
# Frankly,
THIS DISTURBS ME....

*click*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:24, archived)
# Ooh, this is ace.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:25, archived)
# i've seen this before....
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:28, archived)
# i was thinking the same
but didn't want to say anything

*shies*
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:34, archived)
# phew i thought i was going mad then
be brave on the internets! RAAAGH!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:37, archived)
# No you haven't
(you might have seen something like it)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:38, archived)
# well it looks exactly the same
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:39, archived)
# Well
I'm gutted if someone beat me to it, got a link?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:48, archived)
# not to hand
sorry
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:49, archived)
# This?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:51, archived)
# He does credit mediocre, if you look at the picture.
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:54, archived)
# no no there was an animated one
exactly similar to this!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 13:29, archived)
# That cyriak animation mix is the greatest thing ever!
Also,

WOO to pic. Lurk less!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:28, archived)
# Fractal-tastic!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:31, archived)
# This is rather woo
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:43, archived)
# Awesome :)

/edit: WHAT IS THIS URL?
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 17:23, archived)
[challenge entry] For anyone that's ever been suckered in
by "the UK's no 1 high street photography retailer".

(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:13, archived)
# Yes indeed.
Memory cards with Alzheimers...
Bastards!
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:16, archived)
# Quite!
(7dayshop.com ftw)
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 12:27, archived)
# leading the field in...
markup prices like no other...
(, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:17, archived)

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