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# Christmas Song


Right click below and save to download.

.


Lyrics and singing by me.
Genius music and tune by Tim "Doghorse" Gillespie
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:24, archived)
# ooooh - thank you
this sounds great!!!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:30, archived)
# Doghorse is a talented git
as are you!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:31, archived)
# er - not you, you idiot - I was talking to Bovine!!!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:31, archived)
# You alright there?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:32, archived)
# Not really
You?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:36, archived)
# yes,
I am ace actualy.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:36, archived)
# I'm alright really, just a bit ditzy
Photoshop keeps crashing everytime I save for web


grrr



(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:37, archived)
# save for later
... save for seagulls*

*I turned around and saw a seagull at the window so I said seagull; he said thanks
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:38, archived)
# \o/
that's good news... also - is it just the three of us on the board?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:37, archived)
# yes
Shall we play I spy?


I'll go first


I spy with my little eye, something beginning with....

B!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:38, archived)
# butter
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:39, archived)
# nope - definitely not
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:40, archived)
# byzantium
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:40, archived)
# sorry, no
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:42, archived)
# BUM!!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:39, archived)
# no
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:40, archived)
# bottoms?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:39, archived)
# no.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:40, archived)
# Barnacles?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:40, archived)
# no, sorry
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:41, archived)
# banana
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:40, archived)
# no banana
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:41, archived)
# bilbobarneybobs' nob
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:40, archived)
# er, no
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:41, archived)
# b3ta?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:41, archived)
# YES
YOU WiN - clever sod
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:41, archived)
# hell yeah
*victory dances*
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:42, archived)
# your go
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:42, archived)
# Come on Prof!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:45, archived)
# Is that an encouragement,
or the title of a new game?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:46, archived)
# haha!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:47, archived)
# :D
in Nagasaki!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:50, archived)
# I spy with my little eye
something beginning with CC (two words both beginning with C)

sorry for the delay everyone - my computer frozzed up
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:47, archived)
# 10cc?
oh wait
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:48, archived)
# nope
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:50, archived)
# C Cup
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:48, archived)
# I wish
*Bs*
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:51, archived)
# carbon copies?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:50, archived)
# no
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:51, archived)
# Cheesy Crisps
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:50, archived)
# closer
but no... and not much closer
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:51, archived)
# carrot cake?
christmas card?
(Two answers at once? Cheating c*nt!)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:51, archived)
# WINNER
Christmas Card(s) ...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:52, archived)
# Come on Riff Raff, your go
(this could get tricky to follow)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:53, archived)
# new thread?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:53, archived)
# I think this game should carry over into the next brand new thread
Quick! Someone pst something new and original, and funny!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:55, archived)
# what do you think this is, ebaumsworld?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:56, archived)
# I haven't done so in the past couple of years - I'm not about to start now!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:56, archived)
# \o/ hooray for my cheating skills!
I spy something beginning with F E (two words)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:54, archived)
# Ferric Errosion?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:55, archived)
# Nope
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:57, archived)
# Flacid Errections
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:56, archived)
# nay
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:58, archived)
# Next New Thread
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:56, archived)
# no, F E
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:56, archived)
# FANDABBIEDOSIE Eric
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:56, archived)
# Further Education
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:56, archived)
# Festering enema??
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:56, archived)
# Foamy Ejaculate
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:57, archived)
# frothing embolism
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:58, archived)
# nope, none of the above...
shall we continute here?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:58, archived)
# Fried Egg!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:58, archived)
# I bloody wish!
/very hungry
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:59, archived)
# Five Eggs
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:58, archived)
# Fat elephant?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:00, archived)
# Cheesecake!
(is that a CC or a C?)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:52, archived)
# I think Cheese Cake is important enough
to warrant two words, and both should be capitalised.
/hungry
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:52, archived)
# I had cheesecake in some pub the other day
it was the worst cheesecake I'd ever had

it was like a Tesco value yogurt with half a stale digestive at the bottom
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:54, archived)
# oh noes!
I can't stand the disappointment of substandard Cheese Cake

:(
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:55, archived)
# coffee cup
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:52, archived)
# Colonic catarrh?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:52, archived)
# I can't see that
but I feel it
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:54, archived)
# I hope you've got marigolds on
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:55, archived)
# me too
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:58, archived)
# don't be sill....oh
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:42, archived)
# so obvious, it was devilishly clever
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:44, archived)
# both types of
grey
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:41, archived)
# I'm here
*waves*
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:39, archived)
# Thank fuck
*waves*
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:40, archived)
# I'm here.
I like to watch.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:39, archived)
# and me
but I have to write my CV in the next 20 minutes

I have no idea how to write a CV
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:39, archived)
# well - be honest and tell only the truth
and whore yourself like you're on X Factor.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:40, archived)
# haha
it's weird cos I'm not doing it for a job - someone just wants proof of how great* I am so he can show it to his sponsors



*how much of a charlatan I am
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:42, archived)
# Name at the top,
then up to 2 pages of lies.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:41, archived)
# arf
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:42, archived)
# nobody cares if you were in the ROTC unless you're applying to work as a trianer for the ROTC.
Nobody cares that you went to Guam unless it's genuinely relevant. Don't put in bollocks, unless yours are particularly impressive or likely to get you the job.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:44, archived)
# Royal Otter Territorial Corps?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:47, archived)
# those brave river-dwelling carnivores.
*salutes*
*gets teary-eyed*
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:50, archived)
# Never Forget
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:51, archived)
# *wears whelk with pride*
/ac
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:53, archived)
# arf
This has been a good thread - Thanks Bovine
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:53, archived)
# yeah - all pile on Bovine to say thanks
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:54, archived)
# I've got to August 2008 already
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:55, archived)
# *sedates*
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:37, archived)
# That is ace and so are you & Doghorse
edit: Your singing is excellent, but it sounds like you have a blocked nose - not sure if that is some recording thing. Just in case *hands over pack of Tunes*
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:42, archived)
# Smashing!

well done you both!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:49, archived)
# I hope this song is not as catchy as your one about monkeys
or I Tell You What I Blame. Both of them still pop up from time to time on my iTunes and make me feel like a groupie.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:49, archived)
# Haha indeed
I think I have quite a collection of b3ta tunes by now.
Enough for a CD release, at least

...

profit!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:03, archived)
# Ning Chaps
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:14, archived)
# Yay for Sturdygirl!
'nings B
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:15, archived)
# g'nings!!!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:18, archived)
# YUM!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:16, archived)
# Well
good morning.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:18, archived)
# Hello there!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:18, archived)
# Hello Here
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:29, archived)
#
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:35, archived)
# Ace
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:36, archived)
# i do belive i would.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:17, archived)
# I like a bit of sturd.
I'd clamber up her lonely peaks...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:17, archived)
# Oi oi.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:18, archived)
# Good morning
I shall be posting our little gift to the world in ten or so minutes I reckon.
Hooray.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:18, archived)
# Yay!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:19, archived)
# I KNOW.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:20, archived)
# :)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:17, archived)
# Hahaha
morning freebs!

Last day of work for 2008! :)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:20, archived)
# \o/
I likes a bit o' sturdy

Ningles, Freebs!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:25, archived)
# Ningles Raffles
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:32, archived)
# all well?
I like 'Raffles' ... makes me feel like and stealing silverware from a mansion...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:38, archived)
# Aye
I'm in a sturdy mood today
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:46, archived)
# YAY!
:D
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:50, archived)
[challenge entry] bindun?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:03, archived)
# it actually upsets me to think they have bindun.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:06, archived)
# would
right in the gunt
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:07, archived)
# and their fatty rolls
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:09, archived)
# Yea right...
upsets excites

(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:12, archived)
# no upsets...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:17, archived)
# celebrity edition featuring the spice girls?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:07, archived)
# posh baby sporty scary
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:07, archived)
# I wonder if they think that the one on the right is a skinny bitch:P
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:12, archived)
# Who, the one in the glasses?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:14, archived)
# lol
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:16, archived)
# I thought
posh baby scary ginger after you pointed out the likeness
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:16, archived)
# Green Peace does not condone this post.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:11, archived)
# Wales? In the Thames you say?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:13, archived)
# Actually, it's closer to the Severn
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:43, archived)
# Now I like a bit of curve, but that is just plain unpleasant..... :S
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:16, archived)
# I would with the one on the right in the glasses
the rest of them can watch in disgust....
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:17, archived)
# that poor dog has been wedged up her mighty arse crack for weeks
and has only just burrowed his way out...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:29, archived)
# A nsfw picture posted on /board?
Yeh, a few times
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:39, archived)
[challenge entry] 'ning
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:54, archived)
# Ningles
Must have missed that episode!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:55, archived)
# Hehehe
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:59, archived)
# "Oof, he's taken 'im right up the Shadrack!"
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:00, archived)
# Hahaha
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:20, archived)
# Insufferable Twat?

"Let's see if it's up there..."
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:47, archived)
# lol
at sissy hole. Also, Bingo night Live - what the fuck is that all about?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:49, archived)
# I have no idea what you're talking about.
I tend to avoid television, apart from Charlie Brooker, David Attenborough and Family Guy that is.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:04, archived)
# girth
Bingo night live allows us to revel in the ludicrous sight of a man reading out numbers on live television for several hours as entertainment. I've seen it a few times when I come in from a night out and it always makes me feel good.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:21, archived)
# Shitting Crikey, that's depressing!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:27, archived)
# cuntyflaps?
Woo for "Shit Eyes"
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:51, archived)
# Watch a bit of that last night
really cannot stomach more than 5 minutes of it.

TJ: Does anybody know of a good (free) DVD Ripper software just to convert a section of DVD to AVI - not the entire movie.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:55, archived)
# Virtual Dub
You can open vob files and chop out the bit you want here.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:58, archived)
# I downloaded that one but I couldn't see
anyway to rip just a scetion from the DVD - does that mean I have to convert the whole thing?

-I know I'm getting old this used to be so much easier.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:59, archived)
# You can find the chapter you're after
and open that up in it - this isn't the place I downloaded it from but I know you can, as long as it's not copy-protected. Bear with me...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:01, archived)
# The Virtual Dub I have won't let me open a DVD file
am I doing something wrong - it tells me it's an unsupported format
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:05, archived)
# My bad
What you need is a Virtual Dub mod

Open the .vob file on the DVD you're after and edit to taste. This should be it :)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:10, archived)
# Thanks that worked a treat
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:27, archived)
# Try this:
Not horses

Edit: re-read your post... You might find it easier to rip the whole film then crop it to the part you want.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:00, archived)
# Me neither
My mates insist on watching it, say that it makes them feel better about their lives, at least they're not doing his job.
I tend to feel better about my life by not watching this kind of thing.

(I think a program called virtua dub that might do that.)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:01, archived)
[challenge entry] "Awww dad, I wanna be boss!"

'ning all
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:27, archived)
# PANIC, MR MAINWARING!!!!
We're Doomed! :)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:34, archived)
[challenge entry] Wish I was at home
So I could do a better job with this

Cheers :)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:39, archived)
# Even more ha
Beautifully witty!!!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:40, archived)
# Oh, my
This is so good... it's so good!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:41, archived)
# hahaha, slightly over the top :D
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:46, archived)
# this deserves more attention and praise.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:42, archived)
# Ning!
I just realised I missed my 8000th post last night, so...

8001 posts nekkidity! (I'm SO glad I had all that plastic surgery...) ;)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:09, archived)
# Hahaha FAKE
No shark ;)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:10, archived)
# hahah
congratumilationalisticificationalisationalisminifipilipafilactiplasticalfantacations!

edit: THREADJACK Christmas songs! I NEED TITLES! HELP!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:10, archived)
# Christmas Wrapping
Fairytale Of New York
Merry Christmas Everybody
Stop The Cavalry
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christmas_hit_singles
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:13, archived)
# woo!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:20, archived)
[challenge entry] NWIOT
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:26, archived)
# you'll kick me in the fuck for saying it
but coldplay does a damn good rendition of "have yourself a merry little christmas"... it's that kind of "hot chocolate by the fire" song
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:14, archived)
# ta
i'm after decent cover versions so tha fits the bill
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:15, archived)
# The Beach Boys
Christmas album.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:20, archived)
# kevin bloody wilson
santa got stoned at christmas
and his christmas song, which begins:


Hey Santa claus you cunt!

Where's me fucking bike?

I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like.

I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you twice

Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me fucking bike.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:25, archived)
# it doesn't begin like that
it has a whole preamble about being so poor they couldn't afford to decorate their tree, they'd wheel grandad round it and make the old cunt sneeze
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:32, archived)
# i think i confused it with 'hey santa claus'
my internets capped to fuck so i can't watch the youtubes...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:36, archived)
# lololol
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:34, archived)
# Badd santa - Peanut Butter Wolf did a great compilation last year
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:33, archived)
# NEKKIDTIEM!
contrats. Life is always better when you have a mow. We should be a b3ta mow club badge:P
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:17, archived)
# I actually don't have it right now, that pics actually a year old,
currently I have a blonde fauxhawk, as you could almost see in that Hunky Dory album cover pic I did recently for the 'real life album cover homages' compo ( www.b3tards.com/u/420c52b7900bd7084f02/album-hunky-dory.jpg) where I'd just begun to grow it, but it'll be back to it's full glory come sometime in the new year once I get the shears on it...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:26, archived)
# I think maybe you're the first person to grow a mow.
Everyone else cut back to it:P
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:36, archived)
# I think I may try a thick one this time, I've done skinny ones to death,
had a fancy asymmetrical S shaped one last time that was a bit daring but a pain to maintain, hence the decision to give it a rest over Xmas.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:43, archived)
# Yeah I have a thick one
/fnar fnar blog
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:11, archived)
# Well it's either wide and short or thin n long as options innit, really?
I think the latter'll be me, too, then...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:15, archived)
# I always know exactly when to cut mine.
If I'm barefooted and it brushes the top of the door frame it's trim time:P
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:18, archived)
# hehehe
congrats sir! :D
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:18, archived)
# Ning! indeed
*clicks*
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:22, archived)
# fwappy fwappy
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:25, archived)
# Nowt quite like a mornin fwap, is there?
;)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:28, archived)
# hmmmmmm, i prefer one in the evening.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:29, archived)
# Chortle!
Well, I prefer some light herbal adjustment and a friend, but I had me weekly ration of that earlier in the week! ;)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:41, archived)
# *goes and sobs quietly in corner*
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:42, archived)
# Is that jealousy,
or just a mental image you didn't need at 08:45 am?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:45, archived)
# the former, especially since it's about 1947h here.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:47, archived)
# Ah, you're far far away are you?
Well *turns on QVC advert music*, what you need my son is a 'shag buddy', fantastic for avoiding all that tension and insecurity of looking for a one nighter on the weekend, no need for all that bother of having to buy anyone drinks and food, that moment of fear when your getting your kit off with a stranger, and then the risk of getting an STI, and who says the only other option is one person forever growing fat and boring together doing the same routine every week, who needs it, instead I thoroughly recommend the 'friends with benefits' option (is tricky finding folks who can do a regular shag with someone they like without getting clingy or jealous like, but that's the art of it, on both sides) has worked well for me for many years anyhoo, some of 'em I've had for so long I'm in their feckin will!

End of advert *turns off annoyingly jolly music*

Mind you, it does make it a bit expansive for buying presents at Xmas...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:13, archived)
# haha! Grats, sir!
dammit, I've missed my 8k....

oh well... 'ningles everyone!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:27, archived)
# Cheers!
Aye, it's easily done, I saw this one comin up n quickly made this pic for it, but then got a tad squiffy last night and was chattin on the board n completely forgot about it awaking to find I was already exactly on my 8000th.

I feel a bit of a crap sod for not doin owt for real this time, but y'know, how many times do folks really need to see me fluffy bum...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:34, archived)
# would
'grats sir
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:35, archived)
# 19th December - Little Almscliffe


Parp paaaarp
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:04, archived)
# you know,
you're none too shabby at this art stuff
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:04, archived)
# Best yet, Pagetty Pol :)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:09, archived)
# very nicely sir!
:)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:18, archived)
# that's nice.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:26, archived)
# all aboard!

My Doctor Who Project continues to grow
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:23, archived)
# wow cool
though the dalek and scenery look like they've had flour thrown on them

edit - also thanks for giving us free christmas cards you nice man :)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:45, archived)
# Very nice....
It works better in FIREFOX for me though.

*Click* anyways.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:47, archived)
# wow
very nice! :D
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:47, archived)
# I like this
looks like it could be a sprite for a SNES Doctor Who game :-D
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:54, archived)
# but it's the wrong colour!
;)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:00, archived)
# That's rather lully:)
'ningles teh toats and b3ta.
Right I'm off for the long commute to work.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:00, archived)
# both hands on the wheel, squire!
no more of that wank-on-the-way-to-work business!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:02, archived)
# God that took aaaages!!!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:04, archived)
# are you there yet?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:05, archived)
# Yeah but the computer wasn't working properly so I came back here.
Just waiting til 9 so I can replace it.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:16, archived)
# are you there yet?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:02, archived)
# Yes
Yes I am. And that included the time it took to clean my teeth and spike my hair:P
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:04, archived)
# On a related note
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:14, archived)
# BBC Children in Need release showed a sneak preview about two months ago.
You're soooooooo last telethon!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:19, archived)
# Pfft.....Who watches telly anymore?
4 gods sakes!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:24, archived)
# Don't ask me
I watched in on iplayer:P

Bloody internet. I remember with it was all about irc and waiting for porn!

EDIT: Plus I shall get my TV out of the cupboard and throw it out the window the day CZJ is Dr Who.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:37, archived)
# Excellent, sire.
I look forward to my new PC arriving, so that I can run Moviestorm at something approaching usable speed.

Are you going to make Colin Baker's really bad coat?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:22, archived)
# its all free dee
woop
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:54, archived)
# *goes off to bed after posting this*
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 6:23, archived)
# shit
there all dying off :( nice pic :)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 6:37, archived)
# Revvvvvvv!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:22, archived)
# vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooom!!
vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooom!!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:29, archived)
# morning sir!
:)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:46, archived)
# WHOOOOooooooOOoooOOOOOOooooooOOooOOoOOOOOOoooooo?!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:04, archived)
# the mum of dianna troi in the next generation
she was always trying to bed Picard!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:13, archived)
# she wanted to experience the Picard Manouver!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:24, archived)
#
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 5:44, archived)
# pretty.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:15, archived)
# very nicely!
:)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:47, archived)
# Thats really nice
got a desktop sized one?

woo!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 10:03, archived)
[challenge entry] Ssshhhh.........The news is on my brother!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 4:45, archived)
# TWELVE MINUTES
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 4:49, archived)
# ARE YOU A PUMPKIN NOW?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 5:00, archived)
# NO
BUT I AM ON MY SECOND DRINK
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 5:47, archived)
# I've almost completely stopped drinking alcohol.
I'm not even sure why. I think I just got bored with beer and wine. In the last year I've probably only bought 2 or 3 bottles of wine, and the last one I only bought because I needed it for something I was cooking. The rest of it just got left in the fridge.
GRONKPAN WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 6:13, archived)
# i'm not gronkpan, but
I never saw the point in buying wine. I drink beer, and lots of it. I drink beer as I perform even basic day-to-day tasks.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:07, archived)
# You won't like my answer, but it is the honest one:
MAN THE FUCK UP.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:34, archived)
# This bloke always reminds me of Guy Goma
For some strange reason
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 5:10, archived)
# RACIST
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:50, archived)
# Trev is pressing down on his large erection
If he let the beast loose it would thrust through the desk-edge.

Nobody likes a glans splinter.

Trev is large.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 5:16, archived)
# I heard he got it out once...
....and the whole room went dark!

That's how large it is!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 6:33, archived)
# Brap fucking brap
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:22, archived)
#
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:46, archived)
# D:
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:49, archived)
# X


(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:50, archived)
# MICROWAVE AND MYSTERY BOB
SITTIN IN A TREE
X-I-N-G
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:53, archived)
# For some reason when I sang that in my mind, I added three extra Gs to the end to make it even.
Now I'm going to sleep.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:55, archived)
# G'night
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:56, archived)
# I'm dreaming about you.
It's gorgeous.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:56, archived)
# COR!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:57, archived)
# nugitnugit
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:59, archived)
# GJM.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:50, archived)
# ^
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:55, archived)
# fab!
GJM
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:59, archived)
# GJM, Microwave
LOL
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 4:00, archived)
#
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 4:02, archived)
# AUTOMATIC TELLER MACHINE MACHINE
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 4:03, archived)
# this is a man with a plan.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:51, archived)
# 5 minute animation by a beginner, accompanied by prose.


Many feet make one path.
I like to walk on a footpath.

I walk over the grass and turn to see if I have made a path.
Once only is not enough.

I return to the footpath to feel like one of the bunch, I add my foot.

I look back; what a path we made.

(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:26, archived)
# I DONE A SHIT IN A URINAL
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:27, archived)
# I always find that when I shit I also piss.
If I shit in a urinal I piss all over my shoes.

Are your shoes wet and pissy?

(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:32, archived)
# No
I have this thing called "bladder control"
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:34, archived)
# Hmmm. I also have bladder control.
Yet every shit I take is accompanied by a piss.

I shall try totally emptying my bladder and, 10 minutes later, empty my colon.

I'll let you know how I get on.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:40, archived)
# Thats posh!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:32, archived)
# Speaking of which, I'm on the toilet with wicked pins and needles in my right leg.
Unfortunately, I can't get up to do anything about it.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:34, archived)
# Your computer must smell
Get off the loo and see a specialist in acupuncture.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:35, archived)
# USE COMPUTER ON LEG
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:40, archived)
# >You have pooped on your leg.
>You are dead.
>Your score: 4 out of 160
>Would you like to play again? Y/N
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:45, archived)
# Who sews in the toilet?
That's just silly.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:50, archived)
# I DO THAT SORT OF THING, YOU KNOW?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:51, archived)
# That sounds like fun. I shall try the same
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:34, archived)
# ME TOO!!!!!!
I recommend you do it when you have the TROTS.....It's MUCH easier to poke down the hole.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 6:55, archived)
# HOPDUX (ˆˆ<
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:28, archived)
# HE WALKS THE WALK
BUT CAN HE TALK THE TALK?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:31, archived)
# Not really. He mostly just blurts our racist propaganda.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:33, archived)
# Speaking of which, some people got upset at me for making KKK jokes at work today
it wasn't my fault that someone sent out a company wide email saying "don't forget the KKK".

She was talking about the kris kringle.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:36, archived)
# he mostly repeats himself
www.b3ta.com/board/9036954

at 6 hour intervals

Edit: nice anim tho'

(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:36, archived)
# Wow you totally told him.
I'm glad someone stood up to him. He's totally always on here, reposting his pictures for his friends to see and withholding alpacas.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:52, archived)
# FUCK YOU, MARK.
JUST..




FUCK YOU.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:56, archived)
# Has he got a name? Mugabe? or Goebbels perhaps?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:36, archived)
# Mugoebbels
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:57, archived)
# The world is not enough
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:32, archived)
# WAK WAK WAK
thunk
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:59, archived)
# ^ That's Shit that is
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 7:17, archived)
# hello boys!


Click for bigger (308KB)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:21, archived)
# Why did she bring her vibrator?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:23, archived)
# why is it sponsored by a lidl's
version of apple mac???
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:45, archived)
# excellent as allways
mr Hin
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 6:05, archived)
# i still would
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:06, archived)
[challenge entry] Halfway there already...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:11, archived)
# Whouse
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:14, archived)
# Runouse.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:15, archived)
# I tried that
but us stupid Merkins might not understand !

BTW, has anzbodz had a bug in their kezboard that switches the Y and Z kezcaps mapping )and a lot of other annozing swaps like ß instead of a dash, and stuff! Verz Annozing! I hope I donät have to buz a new kezboard.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:21, archived)
# Yeah dude. It's pretty fatal.
You should pretty much give up all hope now.
Dibs on your stuff.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:23, archived)
# Hmmm... I suspect you're messing around
but there is actually something on my site that might be relevant
www.mofaha.com/keyboard_hijacks.asp
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:24, archived)
# There's no way in hell I'm going there.
Not after last time.
I don't trust you.
I DON'T TRUST YOU ANY MORE, DUDE.
NO WAY.
GAME OVER MAN.
GAME OVER.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:26, archived)
# I LIKE NEWE AXPERIANCES
DO U LIKE NEWE AXPERIANCES?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:28, archived)
# No, they bought out my company and had sex with my wife.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:30, archived)
# Win/win
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:31, archived)
# Not if your wife is Danny DeVito.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:33, archived)
# IT WAS IN THE CONTRACT
WHY DID YOU SIGN IT IF YOU DIDN'T WANT IT TO HAPPEN?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:32, archived)
# Fine print doesn't count, brah.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:33, archived)
# It was 72 point bold underlined text on the front page
"WE WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE, MISTER PINEAPPLE"
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:37, archived)
# Yeah, but it was pretty fine 72 point bold underlined print.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:38, archived)
# No-one is clicking links to my site any more.
I guess I'm the man who typed wolf.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:31, archived)
# More like horse.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:31, archived)
# ...is what I was thinking
but THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO PREDICTABLE
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:32, archived)
# I'm thinking of getting a keyboard hijab
cover its shame, you know
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:27, archived)
# I like to type with my shoes. The soles. All over the keys.
I know it's perverse. I know it is.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:33, archived)
# I had no idea you held us all in such contempt
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:38, archived)
# It's not that
it's just that it's SO DIRTY. I want to stop but I can't.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:49, archived)
# D'oh!
Just noticed that my keycaps prefs had switched to German after I did a system upgrade... wonder why that happened? Are the Germans taking over Apple?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:25, archived)
# Yeah, different language setups have weird letter placement.
It's annoying when it switches and you don't know how you did it.
I used to get that with UK to US setup while I was playing games, so it would switch the " and @ over because I accidentally hit the walk key while I was crouching or something. I didn't know how to switch it back until recently, and I've forgotten already.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:27, archived)
# We changed evil_twin's keyboard
to Dvorak one April Fool's, she was convinced she had a virus.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:30, archived)
# Haha, awesome.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:31, archived)
# I fixed someone's autocorrect in MS word
so that it was full of swears.

Also: I just realised that I've got an hour and 20 minutes left before my holiday and I forgot to do my January forecast.

WHOOPS
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:41, archived)
# Heh, I did that to several of the computers in my old school
I WAS SUCH A REBELLIOUS CHILD.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:50, archived)
# January Forecast: SUN
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:55, archived)
# I just copied & pasted novembers and changed a few numbers to make it look different.
I AM A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 4:01, archived)
# change your language settings
Sounds like your keyboard is running in German or something
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 8:34, archived)
# THE PASSION OF DOCTOR HOUSE
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:16, archived)
# more comic book japes
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:06, archived)
# For instant drought relief!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:07, archived)
# God damn, Superman is a cunt sometimes.
NOBODY CAN DRINK THIS WATER. I KNOW YOU'RE ALL THIRSTY, THAT'S WHY I RIPPED OPEN THIS HYDRANT WITH MY MIGHTY STRENGTH AND AM NOW LETTING ALL OF THE WATER POUR INTO THE DRAIN.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:08, archived)
#
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:10, archived)
# EFF BEE EYE MOTHERFUCKERS.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:19, archived)
# The miracle of thirsty Thursday
Is a fantastic name for a band.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:19, archived)
# I'm working on a new drama series.
Don't steal my idea.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:05, archived)
# I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA FOR A DRAMA SERIES
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:06, archived)
# You're mean :(
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:06, archived)
# Apparently a couple of the Bush anims from here were on MSNBC
Probably right before your new show.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:09, archived)
# I heard that Printmeisters matrix one made it to TV.
But then, he didnt get his own show.
Not only that, but I'm also co-directing the second series of Detective Beaver.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:10, archived)
# What else did you hear
YOU JERKY LITTLE MEATSTICK
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:15, archived)
# You're still mean :(
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:17, archived)
# I think I have lupus.

Edit: I saw the end of House tonight and the girl in it had the same blood disorder that my brother had/has.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:18, archived)
# Dibs on your stuff.
Also, god damn I'm such a dick. I still have to post you that alpaca. I have the address up in Leeds, I'll get on it at the start of next year. I just need to find a small box and a jiffy bag to transport it safely.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:21, archived)
# I need it.
Why are you doing this to me?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:25, archived)
# Because I'm hoping that when the lupus takes control, if I need to pay for all of your stuff to be shipped here, it would save money if I just held onto it until you copped it.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:32, archived)
# WOW YOU IS A WEREWOLF YES?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:25, archived)
# NO
JUST A REGULAR WOLF :(
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:27, archived)
# awoooooooooooo...
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:33, archived)
# ALSO:
Coincidentally we were just watching Total Drama Island. It's a crap show but I love the drawing style.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:07, archived)
# It looks a bit reminiscent of Fairly Odd Parents and Dexters Lab.
I liked that style at times, but sometimes it can get a bit lame.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:09, archived)
# I'd watch it, but I think he'd be eaten by Inspector Rex
Woo!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:06, archived)
# TOP FROGGING!
woo :D
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:06, archived)
# HAHAHA!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:12, archived)
# Have you got copyright yet?
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:12, archived)
# Yes.
If by copyright you mean a fun size milky way.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:16, archived)
# Taking the pond scum off the streets!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:14, archived)
# *unexpected cockweasle action*
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 2:57, archived)
# FUCK
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:03, archived)
# 110% yes.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:05, archived)
# FROG!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:06, archived)
# 110% yesfrog.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:08, archived)
# Animate it hard!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:05, archived)
# this took longer than it should have
I keep forgetting my right mouse button doesn't work.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:16, archived)
# That's because you're using a mac.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:17, archived)
# hahaargh
I do wonder what mac users do with their right mouse button fingers, I expect they send them off on secret missions to hide my new mouse.
I say new, I've had it for four months but I can't find it.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:22, archived)
# I find it the other way round, perhaps because I'm on a macbook.
I use my thumb as the only mouse clicky thing, but when I used a PC earlier, I kept trying to ctrl click instead of right click because I forgot it was there.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:25, archived)
# I have been using far too many obscure mouse/keyboard combinations
I keep having to look up more in order to do stuff. It would be a whole lot easier if I could find my mouse :(
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:40, archived)
# FUCK YEAH
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:06, archived)
# Top show!
Woo.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:06, archived)
#
A man had woollen eyes, he couldn't see very well.
I knitted then into a great big ball and rolled them down the hill.

When he saw what I had done, he said "Where are my eyes?"
I gave him two new proper ones so he could see alright.

He came right up to me and punched me on the knee.
"Now give me back my woollen ones, I like the way I saw."

I ran to the the bottom of the hill and brought the big ball back.
He made then into woollen eyes and placed them where they belonged.

Now if you see a man with a couple of woollen eyes,
Run away with a saucy grin; he can see as well as you.


Edit : what I meant to say was YAY! Good cockweaslery.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:10, archived)
# Thanks!
and ta for the thingtoread :D
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:24, archived)
# the FEET are pointing the WRONG way!!!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:18, archived)
# oh by the frozen lords of kelpton seventeen
WHAT HAVE I DONE??
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:27, archived)
# YOU HAVE SULLIED A SACRED THING
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:41, archived)
# Who the hell are you
InspectorGordon?

You may have seen me pop up recently and as the new boy I feel I should explain myself.
I am a regular guy who has been literally abducted into the world of a computer and forced to participate in gladiatorial games where my only chance of escape is with the help of a heroic security program. I DJ a bit, clubs, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, funerals. I make mash-up mixes and like to mess about with audio and visuals. Click on me decks to see what I get up to:


I've always been a keen viewer of b3ta and when there was a Muppets do the Movies challenge I just had to join the fun. Unfortunately I didn't recon on the waiting time on signup so I missed the deadline. Here's what I would have posted.
bindun


So that's me for now. Hello.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 2:53, archived)
# Go
away

and

kill

yourself

please.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 2:58, archived)
# You don't seem very pleasant at all
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:04, archived)
# I'm sure you're nice
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 2:58, archived)
# I am,
and it is nice to be nice. But being a cnut is sometimes fun too.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:05, archived)
# please will some one tell my how to find the url of an image
hosted on b3tards using safari, i know this isn't talk but puhleese!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:09, archived)
# What is Safari?
*chortles
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:12, archived)
# mac bollocks
god I miss my right click. now someone help me solve this incredibly simple problem!!!!!!!!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:14, archived)
# Can you use Firefox on a Mac?
Is not a macboy, seems like its worth a shot.
.
.*Likes Firefox ...alot
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:21, archived)
# yeah i'm sure you can actually
looks

*may be downloading any sec*

*has still lost right click/ properties / copy image location"*

will be firefoxing myself up though.
:D
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:24, archived)
# I reckon yr puter needs a restart....if you been installing stuff, it sometimes cures little niggly probs.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:28, archived)
# In safari
you can open the activity window (Window/Activity, or Alt-Command-A) which will show you the details of all the elements on the page you are looking at.

Otherwise just right-click on the image and select "Copy Image Address" and you can paste it wherever you need it.

[edit] Oh, I just noticed you have lost the right click menu. Have you lost right click menus altogether? You can change the setting for those from the system prefs.

And firefox runs on the mac exactly like the PC version - even the html buttons are ugly.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:29, archived)
# *lols @ ugly
:)
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:34, archived)
# Good job you didnt post them when the compo was on, you'd of been nazi'd big time for the file size.
Welcome.

.You might like to visit here for some advice on eq'ing your mashes-
www.gybo5.com/
(, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 3:11, archived)

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