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Ding dong the witch is dead!

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:16, archived)

Liking it!

suprised it hasn't been done, woo to you sir!

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:22, archived)

Enola Gay!

(

c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:12, archived)

hahahah - woo!

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:13, archived)

Arf!

Ace!

(

Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:15, archived)

heh heh

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:17, archived)

Nah! not gay!

Bi-planes!
Arf!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:17, archived)

haha

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:18, archived)

cunt horse goes bungee

Been awhile since i made a cunt horse post (or any for that matter)

Can't find the previous threads on GC but, previously: #1, #2, #3, #4

(

Rainbow Mong, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:10, archived)

Beware?

Tis Friday and so all the odd is being posted

And Woo to it!

(

Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:13, archived)

when does the newsletter come out?

also woo to cunthorse

(8 B I T.B O Y lives in an 8 bit world, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:14, archived)

every friday

*runs*

(

Rainbow Mong, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:15, archived)

Just before quiz of the week

(

Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:16, archived)

Huzzah for cunthorse!

Best of all the animals

(

Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:16, archived)

looked (slightly) better in my head

(a_pair_of_shitty_pants thats The Kinks you prick!, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:09, archived)

OK have a woo for the shop!

woo

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:26, archived)

NSFW -------- not safe for wasps

(

WOLF .™, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:07, archived)

Readers Hives

beedog loves it

I so wish this was shopped

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:08, archived)

something about birds and the bee's

maybe

(

PsyreN Bored Sig, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:10, archived)

bee's what?

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:26, archived)

Bees are into what now?

(

Fergburger, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:35, archived)

hahaha

www.honeycombonherface.com

(

mr spoons, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:10, archived)

Noooooo!

I only just got that out of my head from last time!! *goes back to lurk*

(the rt. hon. JimBob I Spy B3ta: 100 points, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:15, archived)

you'd prefer meatspin i suppose

;)
edit: 7 messages in 2 years!
that is spectacular. I feel honoured that
one of them was in response to me.

(

mr spoons, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:17, archived)

A thought

I'll leave you to think about what I do with the rest of my time ; )

Meatspin... yes, well, that has done the rounds, and I'll never be able to listen to Dead or Alive again. Not that I did in the first place. Of course.

I wonder if I'm anywhere near top lurker?

(the rt. hon. JimBob I Spy B3ta: 100 points, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:24, archived)

bagslap's better

www.bagslap.com

edit oh, NSFW

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:26, archived)

that makes me wanna puke

*shiver*

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:29, archived)

Salty white vomit from your cock?

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:31, archived)

*clicks link while eating a frube*

big mistake

(

mr spoons, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:31, archived)

hahaha WTF?

img118.imageshack.us/img118/881/offend4dd4uk.gif

Have you been drawing mine and wasp boxes cartoon time suggestions?

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:33, archived)

You evil person you!

*needs accent of eccles*

(the rt. hon. JimBob I Spy B3ta: 100 points, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:31, archived)

oh my god

in the early net days (1994 ish) I got sent a video of a guy having 6 inch nails hammered through his cock and balls. I have never seen it since. Thankfully

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:31, archived)

I remember that

There's other ones linked to that site, I think it's www.thepounder.com, of a guy battering his cerection with a fuck off hammer

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:36, archived)

not that but fuckin OW!

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:38, archived)

Any Lesbeeans in there?

I'll get my coat

(i lick sweat off a dead man's balls, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:11, archived)

*looks for bumble on bumble action*

top stuff

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:11, archived)

that brings me out in

hives

(

WOLF .™, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:12, archived)

oh beehive you two

(

PsyreN Bored Sig, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:13, archived)

Arf!

can you order back issues . . . . from the ark-hives?
Woo!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:11, archived)

Oh noes!

(

wheelybird mreee!, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:32, archived)

(

JollyJack - a stench from the past, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:05, archived)

Seven of Nine

getting it on with Lorraine Kelly

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:05, archived)

you ruined that

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:06, archived)

what your Lorraine Kelly fantasy?

shall I change it to Matthew Kelly?

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:07, archived)

matthew kelly and lorraine kelly?

aren't they brothers?

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:10, archived)

no - you are thinking of Henry Kelly

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:14, archived)

do you work for DeAgostini?

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:24, archived)

hahaha

I've just noticed that!

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:28, archived)

*spaffs*

*cleans up*
*re-reads*
*spaffs*

(

mr spoons, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:07, archived)

http://www.b3ta.com/board/5896011

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:11, archived)

The power of funk

or funk force 5

(

Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:06, archived)

YES.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:06, archived)

^^ This ^^

/mind golden shower

(duck Quack !, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:07, archived)

^this

(

fukka isn't around as much as he used to be..., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:07, archived)

Bindun

www.timjeanes.com/jollyjack/04736697%20funky.jpg

(

teedyay, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:11, archived)

So?

More funk! MORE!

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:13, archived)

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh

Hadnt seen that one

(

Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:13, archived)

oh yeah

overwhelming funk

(some fucker eat lead | shit bullets | wipe with brie, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:11, archived)

A monkey in glasses

rowing half a melon down a river of irn bru.

(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:06, archived)

Hooker fruit bats.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:06, archived)

THE FUNK!

(duck Quack !, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:06, archived)

seven of nine

getting it on with matthew kelly.

(

nowhere.elysium Exploder of cats, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:06, archived)

Colin is 73. He has terminal cancer.

The doctors have told him there is no hope, and that he will be lucky to stay alive for the next 24 hours. His loving wife sits beside his bed, anguish written across her face, stroking what is left of the white hair upon his head. Today is their 50^th wedding anniversary. They were supposed to be on a two week cruise round the world. Instead she is sitting watching the last moments of her beloved husband slip away.

“I’m going to be dead soon, and seeing you sitting there in that sexy cardigan is giving me the raging horn” says Colin. “Be a love and wank me off.”

Needing no encouragement, she slips her hand under the sheets, and grasps hold of his weathered cock, standing proud and throbbing with desire. She starts slowly, staring deep into his eyes as she tenderly strokes his engorged member. Seeing the pleasure in his face she starts to speed up the rhythm of her strokes, when he grabs her hand.

“Climb on top and fuck me one last time” he says to his wife.

She removes her incontinence pants, climbs up onto his hospital bed and spits down on his cock, to ease the entrance into her dry old cunt. Easing herself down on his shaft she goes to give him a tender kiss. His eyes are closed. He is not breathing. She can feel the stiffness rapidly departing from his dead cock, still buried deep in her snatch. She tries to grind herself on his flaccid member but it’s no use. It won’t hit the spot. She breaks down in floods of tears. Her beloved husband has died, and he didn’t even fuck her properly first!

Suddenly she hears a noise behind her. Looking over her shoulder she sees a man, in his late forties and suffering from downs syndrome. He has been watching the whole time and now sits, his trousers around his ankles and shit smeared over his face, masturbating his faeces into the biggest cock she has ever seen.

This disgusts her because she hates the disableds.

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:08, archived)

shitting crikey.

pfah, go on then. ^this!

(

nowhere.elysium Exploder of cats, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:09, archived)

*wipes away a tear*

Beautiful.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:10, archived)

booker prize winning material

have a woo and an OBE

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:15, archived)

Set this to music

Anthing by Extreme Noise Terror
or the Dooleys.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:16, archived)

Whhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooooooo?

/lard

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:22, archived)

Here.

Extreme Noise Terror !

The Dooleys !
.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:28, archived)

Yes

that would be suitable. Frank Dooley looks like a nonce

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:30, archived)

HAHAHAHAHA

(

mugatu, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:40, archived)

Masterful!

truly truly beautiful

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 5 May 2006, 14:22, archived)

the sequential art characters (Pip, Art, Scarlett and Kat)

on a roller coaster!
the look on scarless face would be priceless!
Perhaps they could be upside down on a loop?

(

Squiggy Alloria makes theme parks., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:10, archived)

My easter cactus, which has just come in to bloom for the first time ever since I started growning it from a cutting years ago (picture provided)

and it should be sitting in a doctor's waiting room with a pan stuck on its head

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:15, archived)

I like your forward planning

I notice a rock-like thing on its right on stand by so you can club it to death if it mutates into some kind of murderous cactus thing!

Good work!

(

betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:17, archived)

THat rock is a fossil

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:21, archived)

hoorah!

*searches for pan images*

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:18, archived)

Cool

Cactii rock. Oddly enough, one of my Christmas cactii has got its dates wrong.

Again.

(SpangleDangle >->)))'>, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:19, archived)

When will that easter cactus learn?

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:20, archived)

A mouse woman with big

ears and a long tail working in a cheese factory and nibbling some of the produce.

(fishthecat "Flirtinis all round!", Fri 5 May 2006, 13:23, archived)

So thats what they do....

(

Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:02, archived)

I have no idea what that's about

so have this in retaliation

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:04, archived)

in absolute honesty,

i feel that this should actually read as 'brawtanamo bay', because that is mightiness indeed.
*would click if i could*

(

nowhere.elysium Exploder of cats, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:05, archived)

shame you weren't around when I posted it yesterday!

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:08, archived)

sorry -

i've been really busy this past week. i should be back up to posting speed in a couple of days.

(

nowhere.elysium Exploder of cats, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:10, archived)

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:57, archived)

you are wasted here

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:57, archived)

^this

most definitely.

'ning all, by the way.

(

nowhere.elysium Exploder of cats, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:04, archived)

Hahaha!

Grand!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:58, archived)

Acetastic Doctor

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:00, archived)

Hahahahahahahhahahahah

Genius, pure genius :D

(

chunderbunny lacking humus since, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:02, archived)

hahaha!

smashing!

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:02, archived)

Hahahaha.

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:02, archived)

hahaha very good!

(

mugatu, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:04, archived)

This is teh brill!

(jaldo_dron a delicate balance, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:12, archived)

hahahahaahahha

yay sir!

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 5 May 2006, 13:13, archived)

Hahahahaha!

My Way?

Highway more like!

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:22, archived)

(

The Neville What what what, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:46, archived)

*waits*

*still waits*

*guesses it's not going to explode*

*woos*

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:48, archived)

haha this

I'm still expecting something strange to happen

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:52, archived)

I bet he changes the image to an exploding one soon

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:54, archived)

*waits*

*still waits*

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:01, archived)

Manic grins!

The way of the future!

(

Druss_The_Legend Splurge!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:49, archived)

Does he have a driving licence?

Or is he just an idiot?

(

davew27 hevosen kuva!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:50, archived)

pffft

DRIVE YOU IDIOT, DRIVE!

(

Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:51, archived)

: D

How very fab.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:05, archived)

Thassodd

not sure if you saw this last night - hope you dont me trying to emulate your wonderful yet bizarre style

(

Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:10, archived)

*RASP*

Edit: Where's my candle god dam it!

(starbucks 'just wrong' since 1975, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:44, archived)

happee b3taday

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:45, archived)

Ah...

...thanking ye, kind sir!

(starbucks 'just wrong' since 1975, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:47, archived)

*laughs out loud*

Now everyone in the office is looking at me

*clickity*

(

chunderbunny lacking humus since, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:48, archived)

Sometimes he just gets lost in the music

Unfortunately he only knows the one chord
'noons all

(

chunderbunny lacking humus since, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:39, archived)

hee heeeee

*clicks like a spacker*

(

McBadger COW, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

Hahahaha

The look on his face is perfect. That gets my first click of the day, that.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

Ta veh muchly

You're always very nice to me
Are you in a mental institution?
;)

(

chunderbunny lacking humus since, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:46, archived)

Hahaha.

If you look at the town I live in, then probably : )

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:55, archived)

huzzah! accordions are great!

(

but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

Hahahahaha!

Soopoib!

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

Hahaha

That's fab that is :D

& true

(

chunderbunny lacking humus since, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:44, archived)

what about cordless ones

^sorry

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:44, archived)

I would love to see a busker playing like that

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

brilliant!

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:47, archived)

'noons Waspy

probably on the piss with Rik in Ealing this evening
If your free do you fancy coming along & offending people

(

chunderbunny lacking humus since, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:50, archived)

I would like to

but Ealing is somewhat out of my way.
I'm also planning on offending my own workmates

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:56, archived)

Hurray!

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:47, archived)

hehehe

wish I could click that as well!

(

McBadger COW, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:51, archived)

Woo!

that makes me feel like dancin'!

(

Zaphod's Wombat - Never did quite get the hang of, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:53, archived)

That makes me feel sick

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:56, archived)

ive reached an all time low

(hamchicken&peas, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:35, archived)

there's a plaice for jokes like this

... and continue...

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:35, archived)

Fish puns make me hake with desire.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:36, archived)

you do need a shark wit

otherwise you tend to flounder

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:38, archived)

well i thought it was brill.

(

mr spoons, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:40, archived)

A bit cuttle for me

(

fukka isn't around as much as he used to be..., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

with puns like that

I bet you're the life and sole of parties

(dDast, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

"put your knickers on and make me a cup of tea"

/monkfish & monkfish

(hamchicken&peas, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

ha ha

*remembers well*

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:45, archived)

stop

fishing for puns

(

McBadger COW, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:36, archived)

don't put yourself down.

You can manage worse than that.

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:38, archived)

stylish! Do you have a BIIIG version?

(

but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:39, archived)

noice shoppage there

have a woo

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

Most woo!

*will not pun, will not pun*

(

chunderbunny lacking humus since, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

Tuck in your bibs, it's

Today I am having Potato and leek soup made with brown onion stock and buttered ciabatta for dunkery. While that's cooking I am eating Twiglets. What are you having?

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:32, archived)

‘a plate of sugar and some very orange cayke’

kerazzey salad, a beef and ham sammidge and some grapes!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:32, archived)

That's braw!

Don't forget to brush your teeth afterwards.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:33, archived)

sandwiches

salad flavour

(

davew27 hevosen kuva!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:32, archived)

Salad "flavour"?

You get granules and add water, or what?

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:34, archived)

They are made of lettuce, cucumber, tomato and stuff

(

davew27 hevosen kuva!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:39, archived)

Nothing!

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:32, archived)

*sigh*

As I've said many times, we can't have you fainting, not on a Friday afternoon. Have chips or steal other people's lunch.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:35, archived)

I don't suppose

that I am in any immediate danger of dying of starvation!

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:38, archived)

Yes you are

no lunch can mean death.

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

I have plenty of stored reserves

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:43, archived)

Your Ron Jeremy?

(starbucks 'just wrong' since 1975, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:48, archived)

ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Sardinia . . . lully!
Yay!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:50, archived)

Hey! You said you weren't eating...that looks supiciously like some sort of cake in your left hand

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:52, archived)

He's doing performance art!

www.b3ta.com/board/5896616
Arf!

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:57, archived)

arf too!

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:02, archived)

SSSSSMMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUGGGGGG

BBBBAAAAAAASSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTAAAAAARRRRRDDDDDD!

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:54, archived)

tomato soup
herby mash
beef pasty

the jelly I was going to have broke

(gianthead, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:33, archived)

Hmm lovely

Save some of the tomato soup and use it for gravy.

Broke jelly? Just glue it back together and it will be fine, honest.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:35, archived)

it was a kamikazi jelly

it jumped out of the fridge at my brother and smashed itself to bits on the floor below

(gianthead, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:38, archived)

Pray tell dear gianthead

How the fuck can you break a jelly?

(

Druss_The_Legend Splurge!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:38, archived)

beat it with a flaming spork!

(gianthead, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

I shall remember for next time!

(

Druss_The_Legend Splurge!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:44, archived)

Wheeee.

I just had a zoom. The banana bits still lovely.

Other than that, prolly a sandwich and tea. And sunshine. Yay!

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:33, archived)

what's a zoom?

edit: it's an ice lolly, i've just remembered

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:34, archived)

Best. Ice lolly. Ever.

EDIT: Yes, you heathen.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:34, archived)

hahaha

I prefer magnums.

Wanna see something REALLY sexy?
www.b3ta.com/board/5895972

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:36, archived)

PHWOAR!

Talk about the fackin 'orn.

Congratumalations. I feel quite ill : )

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:37, archived)

~~quite ill~~

uncontrollably aroused

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:39, archived)

Who am I to deny my base instincts, eh?

*cold-showers*

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:40, archived)

Lunch of the day!!!

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:39, archived)

Yay!

what do i win?

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

a right royal eating out

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

Hurrah!

I'd better wipe first though

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:44, archived)

nah - im fucking starving

*needs to dash out to buy lunch* ... old mother hubbard designed my fucking kitchen...

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:45, archived)

Hahahaha

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

Ooh banana bits!

Have some avocado in your sandwich.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:36, archived)

Oooh, thats a bit swish.

I think I'm quite limited to tuna mayo I'm afraid.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:38, archived)

Stringbeans, balloons and marmite

oh and some heroin as well.

(

Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:33, archived)

Lovely

Make sure the needle is clean.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:37, archived)

some chillified ravioli (Blairs After Death Sauce with Ginseng)

and some Beef Discos, S&V sticks, a Penguin (chocolate variety) and 2 Trophy bars

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:33, archived)

Chillified?

Shouldn't ravioli be hot? It's still braw though.

I've never seen Beef Discos. Do they dance if you put them near a handbag?

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:38, archived)

only if they are mad cows

and well there's hot and there's hot

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:39, archived)

Yay for super hot chilli sauce !

I've just opened the first jar of pickled chillies from last years crop.
Some of them are quite mild - much like you get from the kebab shop - Others though are bloody eyewatering - and there's no way of telling what you're going to get.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:40, archived)

that sounds great

like russian roulette for chillies. It remins me of Chicken Tikka Bastard

Cook a mild/medium curry with skewered chicken (so it has holes in it) and hide a fresh raw Bird Eye chilli (or a slice of Scotch Bonnet) inside 2 of the pieces of chicken.
Wait until one of your guests gets the chilli and then tell everybody that there was only one and it was random! Once the nxt person gets it they will all be wondering!

Ah happy days of hurting guests

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:48, archived)

It's just like Russian Roulette !

One of my chums is almost crying with pain.
He insisted that the red ones would be hotter than the green ones.
He got a F**kin Hot green one !
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha !

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:51, archived)

smash and chunky peanut butter on granary bread

(

mr spoons, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:33, archived)

Smash as in hydrogenated potato?

That's a weird lunch. Are you foreign?

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:39, archived)

smash and Bisto together is braw

just mix it together and add hot water

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:40, archived)

the perfect meal!

it's like space food for yorkshiremen!

(

mr spoons, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:43, archived)

ha ha

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:46, archived)

yes, but when combined with boiling water and sunpat..

gives birth to a taste sensation.
i'm an innovator.
and a student
:)

(

mr spoons, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

I want proper soup!

Cheese ham and mayo sandwich
Oxtail cup a soup
Cool original doritos
caramel muller rice
banana
tea

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:33, archived)

only two z's today

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:37, archived)

LIES!

I can see two!

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:40, archived)

*ninjas*

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

A nice well-rounded lunch

Make your own soup and home and freeze portions of it. You can heat it in the microwave at work then.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:40, archived)

We don't have a microwave at work.

Or I would.

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

I'm off to the Chippy again!

yipeeee!

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:34, archived)

Chips!

Chips!
Chips!
Have some fish with that, ooh, and mushy peas.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:40, archived)

'ning

I had some rather interesting fish fillet with a grilled tomato, runner beans and spicy carrots, with a pretzel, a side salad and a bounty to round off

all washed down with spezi and coffee

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:35, archived)

I hope the fish was interesting in a nice tasty way

and not "wtf is this" sort of way.

I am interested in the spicy carrots. How do you make those?

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

they are baby

carrots, boiled, tossed in butter with chilli to taste and then served with a dash of extra tabassco

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:43, archived)

Today I am having Beef...

Vindaloo, Vindaloo, Vindaloo Vindaloo, La la,
Vindaloo, Vindaloo, Vindaloo Vindaloo, La la!

Washed down with a pint o' guinness and many cigarettes!

Ringstings Druss!

(

Druss_The_Legend Splurge!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:36, archived)

Vindaloo?

FFS for lunch on a Friday? Are you well-hard or just plain mad?
Your bottom will be sore. Don't come crying to me when that happens.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:43, archived)

Special Friday outing to the curry house!

Might even order a Phaal!

Love that stuff, comes frombeing half scottish and half geordie, no sense and no feeling!

(

Druss_The_Legend Splurge!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:57, archived)

A Fine Lunch

Apart from the evil sticks of cancer.
Give them up and buy more beer and curry.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:55, archived)

My Life is Perfect - read this and weep - for it is my Lunch !

It's Barbecue Tiem !

Lovely homemade Kebabs
Organic Welsh Lamb on Rosemary skewers
Homemade Garlic and Mint Mayonaisse
lots of homegrown Salady things
Served in homemade Flatbread
accompanied with my home grown pickled chillies (Damned fine they are too !)

All washed down with a variety of cold bottles of lovely beer (Spitfire, Black Sheep, Hobgoblin, Tanglefoot etc.)

Outside in the sunshine.

A couple of my chums have come round bringing Venisonburgers, Wild Boarburgers, and Steaks

Once we've scoffed ourselves silly we'll be off to the pub,
where we'll sit outside in the sunshine with more cold beers,
watching the pretty girls go by.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:36, archived)

Are you on Holiday or do you work (loosely used term) from home :)

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:40, archived)

I work Nights

finished at 5 this morning - back to work midnight Sunday.
And I've been in and out the kitchen and the garden, drinking and food preparing steadily since I got in.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

And you live where exactly *whistles innocently*

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:47, archived)

Coventry

In the "House of Nice Cooking Smells"

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:57, archived)

*weighs up options*

Does the necessary evil of Coventry outweigh the temptation of food beer and looking at girlie's jiggly bits?

Discuss...

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:05, archived)

I can vouch for that

I'm in Coventry right now and I can smell them from here

(

betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:14, archived)

Whereabouts are you ?

I'm in Finham.
But I usually drink in Stoke.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:20, archived)

you git

I think you have just become the most hated man on the board
:)

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

*Shrugs*

*Eats lovely Meat*
*Swigs Beer*
All in the Lovely Sunshine.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:44, archived)

I love him

He understands the simple beauty of baked beans and gravy...and that sublime boundery where sauce meets gravy

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:45, archived)

I worship you as a lunchtime god.

Your life sounds fan - Fucking - Tastic!

*envies*

EDIT: I recommend the hobgoblin, mighty fine ale for a mighty gusset

(

Druss_The_Legend Splurge!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

It is the Hobgoblin

I am currently swigging.
I'll get through them all in due course.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:46, archived)

I am sure the Duke is salivating over that

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:44, archived)

you make it sound

like 'Old Ironballs' is dead

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:47, archived)

Cor!

that is the life!
I'll have to clean my barbecue out and get cooking.

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:46, archived)

Yes, You Should.

And using the woody stalks of Rosemary makes really braw skewers.
Suitable for lamb and pork.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:49, archived)

I discoved a farm shop about two miles away from me

and it has all my wild boar and venison and other wild meat needs. All for much cheapness too.

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:52, archived)

Hurrah for farm shops

We've got one about 8 miles away.
Proper locally produced organic meat.
and usually cheaper than, or at least on a par with T**co's.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:00, archived)

There seems to be farm shops popping up all over the place near me

they're bloody good shops. I never buy meat from supermarkets, supermarket meat is flavourless pish.

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:05, archived)

Here's my local :

www.farmsteadmeats.co.uk/index.html.

Todays lamb came from here though :
www.rhugorganic.com/default.asp
I was in Wales at the weekend and it was just down the road.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:09, archived)

some brown stuff i found under my thumbnail

*needs to go out to eat*

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:36, archived)

Don't eat that

Go to a greasy spoon cafe and have a big fry-up.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:45, archived)

if only they had em over here...

*off to thai place instead...yummmm*

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:47, archived)

Cham Lettuce Pickle and Mayo sarnie on Nutty Brown bread

Steak & Kidney Slice
Chicken & Bacon Slice
Tea
Blackberry & Blueberry Smoothie

followed by lots & lots of beer from about 3 o'clock until Sunday as I and a number of others celebrate my brother's birthday...and we then have a "Scatter my Mum's Ashes" party on the beach somewhere on the South Coast

Oh...hiya Flower. I didn't realise that you were DoP's assistant today :)

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:36, archived)

That lunch sounds good

but I am a bit suspicious. I think you are trying to hide the fact that you are eating quiche ;)

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:47, archived)

quiche is for veggies

"Slice" in this context means a flattened pasty :)

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:50, archived)

Braw.

You should have baked beans and gravy with those slices.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:54, archived)

and again, Pachey is only lurking due to lack of nekkidness, so...

She will mostly be eating:
Satay marinated tofu, steamed spinach with shallots, buckwheat soba noodles, and peanut sauce. Washed down with a can of Stella cos it's Friday!

But it's hot today so she's more inclined to disrobe

Also, hugs for Flowerpot because she haven't seen you for a bit

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:37, archived)

I am confused

is she at your house? Say hello to her and please tell her that her lunch is very noteworthy and I want some. Thank you.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:49, archived)

Tell her to have more Stella with that

and to get out into the sunshine.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:02, archived)

Grand fact!

Today my lunch is being made by the handicapped kids from down the corridor, it's their cooking day and I told their teacher to make them make me a Doc G special which is pilchards and cheese, mashed up with worstershire sauce and paprika then grilled on toast. I have back up cheese and ham and mustard sandwiches just incase. I'll also be having 2 tlitres of water and some tea and probably some cheese and onion McCoys.

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:38, archived)

Arf! A Doc G special!

BTW, just on the off-chance that msn is not b0rky today, as I made it specially for you:

(

Doc G and Sid the Monkey may contain traces of spatula, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:44, archived)

For me? thanks, that looks grand.

I've just recieved a plate of my requested lunch

I they've done a braw job it could do with more paprika though but apart from that this is grand. Plichards on toast are braw!

that does look like good haslet

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:50, archived)

Splendid.

Yup, you do need a frightening amount of paprika, a good rounded tbsp at least. And plenty of black pepper too.

Edit: yes it is; finest wild Lincolnshire haslet from my mate's Deli.

(

Doc G and Sid the Monkey may contain traces of spatula, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:51, archived)

I haven't had pilchards in years

I never thought about the pepper, it will need that too.

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:56, archived)

I like it so there's just enough to give a slight burning sensation

to the lips, to really balance the tangyness of the tomato sauce and cheese.

just for the hell of it, as the pic is still hanging around...

(

Doc G and Sid the Monkey may contain traces of spatula, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:01, archived)

I salivated when I read about the pilchard thing

I will make a note of that because it sounds master.
Good that you have back up though. I reckon you might need it as the kids might not realise that you need a bit more feeding than your average Duke.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:51, archived)

It really is braw, they made six of the things.

in fact I'm going to have this for my dinner tonight along with my courgette and leek soup.

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:54, archived)

Wow !

You eat braw things too !

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:05, archived)

I too enjoy cooking

(

The Duke of Prunes, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:22, archived)

Cathedral Cheddar and cheshire piccalilli

toasted sandwiches, with sausage and onion flavour crisps and Dr Pepper. None of which is going to be thrown at DTH.

(

fukka isn't around as much as he used to be..., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:40, archived)

That sound very tasty

and not throwing it at DTH is a wise move.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:52, archived)

Today, I will mostly be eating

Potato Croquettes
Beans of the baked variety
Grilled Gammon

followed by

Lemon meringue

washed down with a refreshing can of Tizer

As they say in Japan, dee-rishus!

(

betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:40, archived)

Cor!

Potato croquettes!
and lemming meringue!
Oh yes
yes
yes
yes

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:53, archived)

Oh go on

grab a croquette and a bit of pie before I scoff the lot...

better be quick

(

betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:55, archived)

Too late

next time it goes public, it'll not be recognisable.

(

betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:16, archived)

It was the lemming meringue and croquettes that did it for me

Use it wisely.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:18, archived)

Wooooooo!

Yay me! This has to be the happiest day in my life. I'd like to thank my mum and dad...

*sob*

/Gwyneth Paltrow

(

betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:23, archived)

FP! *enhurgles*

Pastrami, chorizo and mushroom pizza topped with a mix of applewood and cheddar. I made it a few days ago, and it's rather limp from being microwaved, but still very nice.

(

Doc G and Sid the Monkey may contain traces of spatula, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

AAAAApppppllleeee woood!!!

yay!

right!

Chippy time

(

bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:43, archived)

Official Cheese of b3ta(tm)

(

Doc G and Sid the Monkey may contain traces of spatula, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:45, archived)

Doc!

the pizza sound wonderful. It's sad that the microwave makes it limp. "They" should invent one that doesn't do this.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:54, archived)

It's certainly no reflection on you that my pizza went limp.

;)

(

Doc G and Sid the Monkey may contain traces of spatula, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:56, archived)

I had

a packet of Frisps and a Lucozade - totalling 75p of my money.

it's rent day :P

(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:42, archived)

Not nearly enough

Have some sort of sandwich. Put chips into sandwich. Eat. Feel better.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:55, archived)

Cherry crumble and custard

That was it...

(spudmonkey Now MrPineapple can sex me from behind. Don't ask!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:45, archived)

Hmm

It's so flipping braw that it might just do the trick until tea time. I hope so for your sake.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:57, archived)

eight fish fingers

chips and beans

(

Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:46, archived)

Magic!

The captin will be proud!

(

Druss_The_Legend Splurge!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:48, archived)

I cannot fault this

not on a Friday afternoon anyway.
Although a Tunnock's teacake might just round that off nicely.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:59, archived)

subway sarnie, seafood style with lettuce, tomatoe, olives, gherkins and extra cheese

(

McBadger COW, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:50, archived)

Cor

That sounds like something I need right now. Very tasty.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:00, archived)

Today i'm having

A Chicken Kebab and Large Pop.

Cos i'm a fat bastard and like my food.

So there!

(the_randomist Yes, Yes i'm a lurker, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:50, archived)

Yay!

We all like our food which is why we are here in this thread.

Are you just a regular fat bastard or an obnoxious one?

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:01, archived)

today i are healthy

chicken salad
sandwich. i ate it already so i have forgotten what it was. ah yes, prawn
and some mineral water, panna.

tesco's salads are rank. i'm going to M&S next time.

(

fross Read your email on, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:50, archived)

You had chicken salad sandwich

then forgot and then remembered it was prawn?
I should try that. Eat something very healthy and then "remember" it was chips.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:03, archived)

no no

a chicken salad, AND a prawn sandwich.

you should eat chips then remember it was an apple or something, that way no guilty conscience. and if, when you remember that you had an apple, you wished you'd eaten chips, you can have chips, because it's okay because you just had an apple and not chips.

see?

(

fross Read your email on, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:10, archived)

Nice facts!

I'm having Blood, sweat and tears.
Oh and a couple of chicken & Mayo rolls.
And a packet of Smoky Bacon Wheat Crunchies.

And Apple squash mixed with coke. Top!

(

Grimmie - Breaking legal bounds since 1864, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:53, archived)

I hope the blood, sweat and tears are all from M&S

A fine lunch. The drinky bit sounds very interesting although a bit bizarre, but bizarre is good on a Friday afternoon.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:06, archived)

Well they've done vanilla, lime and lemon coke.

And pepsi have made cappucchino pepsi.

I'm just staying one step ahead!

(

Grimmie - Breaking legal bounds since 1864, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:11, archived)

A pint of Stella

That is all

(skinwah punted Baxter, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:57, archived)

have chips with that

(

fross Read your email on, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:59, archived)

Excuse me

only The Duke of Prunes and certified deputies are allowed to advise on lunch. You may get it wrong and end up killing someone. Please don't be so reckless.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:09, archived)

i *am* a certified deputy

on your recommendation. :)

(

fross Read your email on, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:18, archived)

Oops yes!

Sorry about that.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:23, archived)

Have chips with that

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:12, archived)

erm...

just a bottle of Diet Coke for me!

(Two slices of cheese on toast, two hash browns and two cups of coffee for breakfast!)

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:05, archived)

*hugs*

hurrah i'm not the only late one!

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:10, archived)

heh heh!

*enhurgles*

'noon missy!

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:12, archived)

No room for a small sandwich

with avocado? Aww

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:13, archived)

TEA!

croissants, bagels and maryland cookies and a mini milk!
coo-eee it's hot!

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:07, archived)

Isn't a hot mini milk

er... milk and a lolly stick?

Mmm... mini milk.... *dribble*

(

betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:12, archived)

Cor

mini milk! The rest of your lunch sounds fine but I am extremely distracted by the mini milk. I wish you could get them here.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:14, archived)

Get stripped off

and out in the sunshine with a cold beer !

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:14, archived)

did that yesterday

i think my back is a little burnt

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:19, archived)

Do your front

today.
We don't get enough sunshine to let any go to waste.

(

The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:22, archived)

Pasta and peas...

...with chicken and cheese.

And mustard and black pepper, but that doesn't alliterate or rhyme so it can fuck off. :)

(DrDerekDoctors, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:10, archived)

Yay for rhyming lunches!

Sounds tasty too.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:15, archived)

Today I am having..

bacon and beans on toast

(Arse Gravy is gonna crawl inside you like a warm kitten, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:17, archived)

This is another fine lunch

I hope you have tons of butter on the toast.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 13:25, archived)

Quick, dirty and a little painful

Im so sorry folks...

Edit: apologies for super massiveness, ickle smaller next time

(thomchem too much of the lazy, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:31, archived)

you will be

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:32, archived)

Oh dear.

I'm glad I have 10 meg broadband here.

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:32, archived)

BIGGAH!

i liek big pies

AM IT PIE TIEM?!

(Foo_Kinnell all the cut will be absorbed by it been a dog, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:32, archived)

bigger

autocomplete

(prostheses, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:32, archived)

it is a little large

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:33, archived)

285563 bytes

ARE YOU INSANE!?

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:33, archived)

Cocking hell.

Can you learn to optimise please?

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:34, archived)

edit: yay, took a while but you got there in the end.

~~Gif?~~ Jpeg!
~~279kb? 50kb?~~ 17kb!
~~Dr Pie?~~ Dr Humous!
~~Gah! Meh!~~ Woo!

(

mr spoons, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:35, archived)

I cant believe it's not

BIGGER!

(

Druss_The_Legend Splurge!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:37, archived)

Dr Pie?

Shurely shome mishtake

(

Father_Ted Drink!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:40, archived)

Dr Who!

(

Nonny Mouse. -- Scared as a Shitting Scorpion, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:49, archived)

Not offensive this time...

...just stupid. :)

(DrDerekDoctors, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:22, archived)

hehe

nice

(

Bobby Bob Bob also available on http://jbobw.deviantart.com/, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:25, archived)

someone please explain :(

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:25, archived)

this

(

davew27 hevosen kuva!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:33, archived)

2D6 means...

...two six-sided dice rolls and is an example of how damage is calculated in Dungeons and Dragons.

(DrDerekDoctors, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:35, archived)

I'm so glad I didn't know that

*realises I am living life after all*

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

Er, I didn't know it either...

...I had to look it up. And then I punched some nerds because I'm so macho.

Yes. That's believable.

(DrDerekDoctors, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:44, archived)

zip your pacamac up and feck off!

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:50, archived)

woo!

i used to kick footballs at people like that at school (this is before the days of happy slapping) which possibly makes me a bad person.

(a_pair_of_shitty_pants thats The Kinks you prick!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:27, archived)

I was a nerd at school

I was also one of the biggest and toughest kids and used to offer protection

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:30, archived)

WTF...

...would nerds do with condoms? ;)

(DrDerekDoctors, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:53, archived)

HAHA!

Fubulious!

(

The Rabid Ferret of Doom is no longer a badger, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:29, archived)

Ohh dear

Hands potion of healing

(

Big Ian has stopped changing his sig, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:29, archived)

Thankfully

I do not understand this. However, the front pages in our profile are fucking brilliant.

(

wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:31, archived)

Well...

...if you'd like to see this on the front page, you know what to do. ;)

(DrDerekDoctors, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:36, archived)

Hahahahahaha!

There were people in my D&D club exactly like that!

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:31, archived)

Divorced and Desperate?

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:33, archived)

Pffft!

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:46, archived)

geek humour++

(

but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:41, archived)

Mmmmm yummy

(thomchem too much of the lazy, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:19, archived)

dalek bread!?

woo!

(

mr spoons, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:19, archived)

hahaha

best reply ever

(

brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:23, archived)

^this

(a_pair_of_shitty_pants thats The Kinks you prick!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:28, archived)

Is that Jesus?

Alert the authorities.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:19, archived)

EXTOASTINATE!

Pffft!

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:20, archived)

wotcha

how was the NOW yesterday?

(

brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:29, archived)

Fucking ace.

I hope it edits down as funny as it was being recorded.

The audience question related to this story:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/beds/bucks/herts/4968534.stm

And asked have you ever been the subject of similar stupid injustice? When / What happened?

I tried to get a couple of b3ta style answers through (as requested):

1) When I gave up my seat on the train for a pregnant woman / she miscarried anyway.

But they didn't read that one.

2) When I went to see Status Quo in concert / they set fire to my head then stood there laughing.

That one got read out by a fairly perplexed Hugh but I don't think it will air.

The last one was:

a couple of weeks ago / I lost an eye when someone threw a cheezy Wotsit out of their car and I only got £75 compensation.

I think that one got enough of a laugh that it might make the edit.

Edit: Oh, and In Vino Veritas asked me to do a comedy laugh so I could be identified when listening to it. I couldn't think of one but for tonight's show I am the first person to laugh at the impression of Danny the drug dealer from Withnail and I and I cheer when Marcus Brigstocke starts talking about the Git Wizard David Blaine.

(

Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:37, archived)

excellent

i hope Quo makes it!

(

brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:45, archived)

woo

more of this kind of thing please

(

brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:24, archived)

hahahahaha

yes this is awesome

(

Bobby Bob Bob also available on http://jbobw.deviantart.com/, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:25, archived)

They only want the toy

(

Munky Boy today I am back., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:14, archived)

Haha, oof.

(

SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:15, archived)

*cough*

~~Happy~~

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:15, archived)

Who wants a spare apostrophe?

Full of nutrition!

(

numberbruncher - correct by nature, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:29, archived)

pfft

packed with pedanty goodness

(

mr spoons, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:30, archived)

I have no need for a spare one

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:31, archived)

Dirty suit of armour... BANG!

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:11, archived)

hahah! nice work

TJ: www.news24.com/News24/World/News/0,,2-10-1462_1927327,00.html

(

but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:12, archived)

Mmm mmm

That is a corpsy beverage! :D

(

Peach Motorbike I hate the cut of your jib, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:15, archived)

hehe

I found that bleach does

bad things to all clothes

/hates cleaning

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:13, archived)

The sheer hatstandiness of this concept compels me to *click*

(

Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:17, archived)

(

Peach Motorbike I hate the cut of your jib, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:08, archived)

Ha ha!

(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:09, archived)

RTL?

when was that aired?

(

Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:10, archived)

"When unrealistic pink cocks attack"

Did you not see it?

(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:11, archived)

Argh! CDC Assault!

Attack!

(

Grimmie - Breaking legal bounds since 1864, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:10, archived)

thats CDC reference number 2

what does it stand for pretty please?

(dandantrash blimey, you're all still here..., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:13, archived)

Crudely Drawn Cock!

Usually magenta in colour, with three pubes per bollock.

(

Grimmie - Breaking legal bounds since 1864, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:14, archived)

I've added a purple vein to the mix

To make the image just that bit more true to life...

(

Peach Motorbike I hate the cut of your jib, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:17, archived)

good detail!

(

mugatu, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:18, archived)

Thankyou

(

Peach Motorbike I hate the cut of your jib, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:19, archived)

Thankyou muchly

for the very detailed explanation, it all makes sense now.

I can downgrade from 'shamefully aware of my ignorance' status to 'nervously posting in a careful nooby way'

(dandantrash blimey, you're all still here..., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:21, archived)

Some o' the people here can be vicious cunts.

But some of us are fluffei and nice.
You can ask us fluffy people for advice.
And read the FAQ, cause it's darn useful!

(

Grimmie - Breaking legal bounds since 1864, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:22, archived)

long story

but im only a kind of semi noob, FAQ is well and truly digested, i'll just keep my head down and agree with everyone for a while.

How can I tell a fluffy from a cunt?

And no, that not the first line of a joke, but feel free to make up punchlines.

(dandantrash blimey, you're all still here..., Fri 5 May 2006, 12:30, archived)

hahah take THAT!

(

mugatu, Fri 5 May 2006, 12:19, archived)

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