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# Bindun, bindun better, I'm sure.
(the_whore_of_mensa You are John Venables, and I claim my ten pounds!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:59, archived)
# hahaha
straight to his balls every time
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:00, archived)
# Hahaha!
Kes gave the beardedwife and I proof if proof were needed that we have some weird link.

Usual game of charades at a party. Beardedwife draws a stickman with his arm in the air and a small V shape above it.

After a few seconds of people going WTF!? I go "Oh! Kes!" and the other team go "how the bloody hell did you get that?!"

Bloody obvious really.

/autobiography.
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:01, archived)
# For the 0.01% of the population....
...who haven't heard it already:

Rod Hull's last words: "Grab the fucking gutter Emu!"
(Gobshite, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:03, archived)
# hadn't heard it.
made me laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:06, archived)
# Glad...
...someone laughed. Was beginning to think it was in bad taste!
(Gobshite, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:21, archived)
# nah.
you've got to do something much worse for it to be branded bad taste on here.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:23, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:58, archived)
# awwww
I was hoping he was going to shit himself
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:59, archived)
# I'm just waiting to see if this happens in series 3
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:00, archived)
# I think it's shit
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:01, archived)
# second series was a real let down
series 3 promises more actual superhero-ing tomfoolery rather than flowery prose
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:02, archived)
# I hope so
series 2 was rubbish
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:07, archived)
# not terrible
just didn't really get anywhere
kinda like sitting in heavy traffic with Jim Carrey.
ok, bad example
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:13, archived)
# uh oh, here come the analogy police
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:15, archived)
# got a webcam?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:00, archived)
# straight to the point aren't you?
some people at least A/S/L? first
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:03, archived)
# arse
and now it doesn't like me :(
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:05, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:07, archived)
# Get dinner and a movie out of him first ...
... before you let him touch you special place
(si666 , perverse since 1980, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:11, archived)
# i've got no shit for you to see
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:03, archived)
# Needs more flid!
(halfsixty had sex with your mother on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:59, archived)
# What doesn't?
(I helped save b3ta! charlie brown doesn't have a dog but still enjoys shitbagging, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:00, archived)
# fish?
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:03, archived)
# Hahaha
*awards prize*
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:00, archived)
# *cries
i'm so proud!
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:03, archived)
# aaaawwww
he's cute!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:00, archived)
# he really is an adorable little man :)
*secret fwap
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:04, archived)
# isn't he?
i wouldn't know whether to sex him or pinch his cheeks and go "aaaawww, who's mummy's little precious?"
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:05, archived)
# i'm sure he'd be happy with both
then he'd time travel and kick fuck out of your dads gonads so you could never do it in the first place
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:06, archived)
# is he tall enough?
he'd kick him in the knee, maybe, but i doubt he could reach the nuts.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:10, archived)
# nah, he freezes time
grabs a few yellow pages
and wails til he's contented
then he clicks time on again and there's an inexplicable picture of said dad buckled over
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:12, archived)
# i would like that picture
it would make me laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:17, archived)
# very clever
television superheroes == not as clever as you
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:01, archived)
# cheers prof :)
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:04, archived)
# hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:01, archived)
# Hahaha!
Yay for dinosaurs!
(I helped save b3ta! xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:04, archived)
# ooh, nicely :)
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:05, archived)
# Thanks :D
I need to do more drawings
I like drawing :)
(I helped save b3ta! xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:06, archived)
# aye, tis always good fun
'specially after a quick smoke :)
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:08, archived)
# And hurrah for dinosaurs!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:07, archived)
[challenge entry] Another Slice anyone?
(zombie67 can't stop posting as of, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:57, archived)
# fuck
that's making me hungry.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:01, archived)
# ^this
(I helped save b3ta! xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:05, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! TheOther, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:07, archived)
# Meanwhile in Iran
yeah
that second penguin is so blatantly shopped!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:56, archived)
# where do i get the pic of meat wheels?
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:57, archived)
#
http://www.b3tards.com/meme
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:59, archived)
# ta
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:01, archived)
# I kid you not
www.meatwheels.com/

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:59, archived)
# I love horses
best of all the animals.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:05, archived)
# Rumour has it that the donkey is leading the popular opinion polls
horse comes in at second best animal.
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:09, archived)
# WOO YAY
I think I'd quite like to go to Iran... can this be arranged?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:57, archived)
# Depends
how many rials have you got?
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:59, archived)
# Here you go.
Join now! Invasion planned soon!
www.armyjobs.mod.uk
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:00, archived)
# :D
ha

although - I think it's probably a very interesting place and I would like to go before it gets bombed into the ground.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:02, archived)
# Go AFTER its been bombed into the ground
thats when the spoils are grabbed!
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:03, archived)
# Bagsies:
Mahmoud Ahmadinejads wardrobe!
He always has great suits in unusual colours!
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:06, archived)
# when there's blood on the streets
buy property
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:08, archived)
# yeah, me too ashally
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:05, archived)
# Accepting applications at
1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington, DC, Bush Amerika.
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:10, archived)
# 3...2...1...Fire Fluff!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:59, archived)
# One for the littluns


(My first crudely drawn cocks)
(trickyric, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:50, archived)
# very crude!
pfft!
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:51, archived)
# NSFW
CARTOON COCKS
LOL
(I helped save b3ta! xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:54, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:03, archived)
# well
you seem to have done it right.

WOO YAY
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:55, archived)
# I do not know these animals


Bought to you by vespulae against incorrectly coloured cocks
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:59, archived)
[challenge entry] Apologies to John Squire

and probably everyone else
(bigwasteofspace Quality control settings on low, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:50, archived)
# oh, i like this.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:52, archived)
# Jesus!
You talented arse!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:52, archived)
# smart
as fck....
(FloydPink has a full robot chubby..., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:53, archived)
# stone roses were shit
i rather like this picture tho
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:54, archived)
# I don't like Ian Brown at all...
or Oasis... or the Verve (although their first album was great and their second one was not bad

The Stone Roses kind of passed me by and I've never bother to take any interest in them.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:57, archived)
# Pair of
southerners.
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:57, archived)
# exsqueeze me
care to elaborate on that?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:59, archived)
# You dont..
walk with a swagger.
drink pints.
piss in public.
have long hair.
fight with strangers.

Therefore you are a southern fairy.
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:02, archived)
# ^this
especially the fighting with strangers bit.
there's nothing like being in the middle of a huge fight.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:04, archived)
# Not that I feel I need to justify myself, but,
I'm from Durham and I live in Scotland...

despite all of this; Oasis will ALWAYS be an utter shit and overrated musical endeavour, The Stone Roses will never hold a place in my heart and everything the verve did after they split up the first time will be like them going back in time and pissing on themselves when they used to be good.... irrespective of the latitude of my birth and residence.

(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:06, archived)
# Needs more
bagpipes.
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:08, archived)
# God no
... a lone Scots piper sounds awful... a nice Irish piper or a Northumbrian piper, now you're talking.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:11, archived)
# norfen monkey!
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:59, archived)
# *Pisses from my branch*
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:03, archived)
# LIES
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:58, archived)
# LIES LIES LIES
Their fist album + Turns Into Stone are some of the best music I've ever heard, so ner.
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:03, archived)
# bravo
tango foxtrot
(I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:59, archived)
# charlie tango teakettle barbeque
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:02, archived)
# Delta Indigo Charlie Kilo
Charlie Hotel Echo Echo Sierra Echo
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:05, archived)
# hahahahahahhahaha!!!
LimaOscarLima
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:08, archived)
# Roger that.
:P
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:13, archived)
# How is it made, pt 94
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:46, archived)
# Hahaha!
Papa Smurf is a nasty racist and a bigot and a homophobe.

Do you know what I'm going to do when I get home? I'm going to call up Gargamel and tell them where his village is!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:49, archived)
# yeah!
kick their blue smurf arses!
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:50, archived)
# Hasn't he been searching for that village since like 1981?
Surely he'd have found it by now
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:51, archived)
# they are saving that for the filum
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:52, archived)
# what, he's been holding off actually looking for them untill hollywood gave them a bigger budget?
also: Why? why a film? Why now? is there no god?
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:53, archived)
# the film has been talked about for the last few years
because they have missed the nostalgia trip that everyone was on a few years ago. Doubt they will make it
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:56, archived)
# I hope not
The Alvin and the chipmunks movie killed whatever childhood I had left
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:57, archived)
# Aw c'mon! It wasn't that bad!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:59, archived)
# Alvin and the chipmunks naver made my childhood, i want to kill them
and then cook them
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:00, archived)
# and eat them.
then make a paper mache cocoon in your cellar until its time to feed again.
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:02, archived)
# Maybe he hasn't got Google Smurf
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:53, archived)
# *polishes spanging pan*
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:56, archived)
# You forgot pimp...
I've got Gargamels number somewhere...
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:51, archived)
# pfff
for many years, i was in the habit of calling papa smurf papa wheelie, i'm not quite sure why.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:51, archived)
# MORE CHEEVE GROGBIT?
(halfsixty had sex with your mother on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
# HAHA
:D
(NFNiTM /talk is gay, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
# :)
(waxdart hello., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
# You are a bad, bad man.
pffffthahaha :D
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:41, archived)
# Wait till you see the mongs in my college...
LOL
(NFNiTM /talk is gay, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:43, archived)
# O_o
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:44, archived)
# just smile and act supportive
or he'll start banging his head on the wall and eating the pencils again
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:47, archived)
# *frowns*
*frowns harder*

Is it working?
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:49, archived)
# Damnit dixon, now somebody's going to have to change his trousers
and who keeps giving him pencils?
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:52, archived)
# i find this funny
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:42, archived)
# hahaha
you caught me off guard and Iaughed up some baked potato
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:43, archived)
# *licks*
mmm, cheesy beans
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:46, archived)
# cheesy bolognese!
Fuck me, today's gone back in time, King of Hats, Derek Monte... whoever next?
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:50, archived)
# 'sup homie
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:56, archived)
# Oh god, it's that weasel cunt!
*hides*
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:00, archived)
# *touches inappropriately*
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:04, archived)
# *spluffs*

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:12, archived)
# +out of your bumhole
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:48, archived)
# When was the last time you ate baked potato?
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:50, archived)
# 1967 - what a year it was
potatoes every day
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:57, archived)
# hahahahahahahahaha!
when you go to hull, you shall not be going alone.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:44, archived)
# Mongy Dick
One mans search for the mongy dick that came on his leg


it would be miles better then moby dick, which is just utter shite
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:44, archived)
# hahaha GROGBIT hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:45, archived)
# hahahahahah, oh god....
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:50, archived)
[challenge entry] I used to love Annuals me, they should've done one every year!
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# hahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:38, archived)
# 'next thing I know she's wearing my Rolex...'
... and other popular culture references

WOO YAY
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:38, archived)
# \o/
the bad news is, its blown your cock off
(NFNiTM /talk is gay, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
# ?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
# mock the week
youtube.com/watch?v=hO306yppIAs
(NFNiTM /talk is gay, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:42, archived)
# ...but ...but ...but
I thought that up all by myself :(

bloody professional comedians doing everything that's funny first and ggrrrrr
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:43, archived)
# please put "professional comedians" in quotation marks when referencing Mock the Week
Dara I'll allow. The rest I want to spang into non-existance.
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:44, archived)
# Frankie Boyle, shirley?
Dara's far too good for that show though.

Have you seen that godawful 'chat' show he does on Dave?
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:47, archived)
# OK, most of the time I'll give you Frankie Boyle.
He does appear to be the only one who can string an original joke together although there are times when even he takes it too far.

The rest just take what he's just said and turn it into an embarrassing case of verbal diarrhoea.

The beardedwife loves this show. I find it's a good time to do paperwork.
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:52, archived)
# Frankie Boyle
has a team of 4 joke writers... so I've heard.

I quite like that blonde one who does jokes about muggles - I don't remember his name though ... Russle something. Anyway - I've seen him at the festival a couple of times and he's always been very very funny.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:54, archived)
# Nooooooooooooo!
He's the fucking worst of 'em!

Making stupid observations which aren't funny but just because he's lanky, shouty and animated about it the monkeys in the audience laugh!

Luckily he couldn't get a word in edgeways last night.
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:58, archived)
# I don't think we should see each other any more
it's just not going to work out...

breakup sex?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:00, archived)
# and punt/dennis
whichever one it is. Always the problem with telly pairings up, it's too easy to forget which person is which
(I helped save b3ta! doph no time like the precedent, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:16, archived)
# ha --
does it have Fred Macaulay on it?

He's dead funny.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:48, archived)
# My favourite way to kill a hooker....
Facefuck till she chokes
(NFNiTM /talk is gay, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:44, archived)
# OIC
no - that's my own idea too :(

I'm concerned that a high proportion of my posts reference killing hookers... like about 5%

Also - after having played GTA too much I have developed a method for killing hookers which I find most entertaining.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:47, archived)
# he's fisting an imaginary UN inspector?
(NFNiTM /talk is gay, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:39, archived)
# Recently in a conversation I accidentally said "Mugatu" instead of "Mugabe"
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
# That's no surprise
the two are barely distinguishable.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:41, archived)
# Does mugabe have a headdobber too?
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:43, archived)
# yes, he keeps it under that weird top lip of his.
Deeeeeeeeeel Moooooonteeee!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:44, archived)
# Waspeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey
Boxyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:47, archived)
# when you say kill Tate,
do you mean catherine tate? if so, i volunteer for sniper duty.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:50, archived)
# I do indeed
but snipering is too hands off, I'm mostly thinking about snooker balls in socks.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:10, archived)
# ah, that takes me back
*reminisces*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:14, archived)
# That Mugabe's so hot right now...
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:42, archived)
# I'd like to lick his patent leather face.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:43, archived)
# I know he should capitalise on this media attention
... and run in the Glasgow by-election
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:44, archived)
# I can relate
I said HappyToast instead of Hitler

;)™
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:43, archived)
# Look at the size of that fucking snot troff!
(waxdart hello., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
[challenge entry] Diddly dee, diddly dee...
Di-di di-di di-di di-dee.



Click for bigger (168KB)
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# Arf!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# OH FUCK. LOBSTER FACE.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# titstsar? is that an accident patch on your shorts?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:43, archived)
# No, it's my jizz. What?
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:46, archived)
# That'th a fake lithp
It cometh and goeth!
(SockCooker ПТН ПНХ, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:58, archived)
# Hahaha!!!
Great stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# daniel day bloody lewis....
(FloydPink has a full robot chubby..., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:32, archived)
# BEST. FILM. EVER.*
*of the past 5 years
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:34, archived)
# I preferred No Country....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# It;s up there I agree
but not shouty enough...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:39, archived)
# Javier Bardem FTW!
Not to mention the others!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:41, archived)
# i really liked that film until the coen brothers attention span was exhausted they went off to ride bikes while the cast adlibbed for the last 20 mins
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:42, archived)
# Meh!
I think some of that was cracking, but I agree, some of it was just down right annoying.

But it happens in most of their films I think....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:48, archived)
# ^this
although, to be perfectly honest, JBs performance was exceptional, but overall, the movie was seriously overrated.
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:52, archived)
# Agreed
But the ending was only beaten in the "WTF?" stakes by the sopranos finale.
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:55, archived)
# bought it today,
not seen it yet but looking forward to it :)
(FloydPink has a full robot chubby..., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# The detective did it....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# hehe
cheers ears...
(FloydPink has a full robot chubby..., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:39, archived)
# Oh hang on,
that was the play what I saw....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:41, archived)
# phew
no country's a damn good film btw.....
(FloydPink has a full robot chubby..., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:42, archived)
# IT WILL* CHANGE YOUR LIFE
in so much as it will be 3 hours shorter once you've seen it.

*might
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:42, archived)
# GAH!
Just cos he's all moody and reclusive and only does one film every 100 years doesn't make him the greatest actor the world's ever seen!

*seethe*
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:34, archived)
# I agree
but - he is the best actor ever in at least two of his films... so - you know - that must help.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# Are we talking blood and left foot
or New York?

Edit: or Mohicans?
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# the first two
New York was also good though... last of the Mozambicans less so; although it was a good acting feat, I just didn't feel it very much at the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
# my left flap
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:34, archived)
# and then some shouting
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# Thing is when he acts, he ACTS!
I prefer someone like Philip Seymour Hoffman, who just acts (lower case) with no real histrionics, and makes it all look effortless
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# ^
this with brass knobs on!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:39, archived)
# I think they both have their merits.
DDL is ace in the roles he chooses, and PSH in his. I strongly doubt either of them could pull off the others though.

Oooo err missus!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:39, archived)
# What about
Keanu Reeves...



...



*leaves*
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:57, archived)
# hello Girthfield


pfft, that's not NSFW.. but to satisfy you all, I downsised it. CFB
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:30, archived)
# Blimey!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:30, archived)
# ginger pubes!
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:30, archived)
# school playground flashback
gah!
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# wont say the name
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# Oh THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

*buys mind bleach in bulk*
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:38, archived)
# clown soul
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
# I knew that
Hence: www.b3ta.com/board/8550111
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:42, archived)
# ERROR
ERROR
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:43, archived)
# DANGER DANGER
WILL ROBINSON!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:46, archived)
# New, this season, at Ann Summers...
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:31, archived)
# Gigantic tit bottom.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:31, archived)
# have you been at the generators again?
what did mum and dad told ye?
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:33, archived)
# It's so fuuuuun!
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# have you been taking pictures of my cock again?
I reckon you'll get some nsfw comments on this...
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:31, archived)
# but 't is not a cock
for it is drawn in a comic style
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:32, archived)
# I'm not calling it NSFW myself
I don't agree with how zealous people are about that issue these days.

That said, from any distance, Garfield or not, you have drawn a very large bouncing cock!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:33, archived)
# *does the Fonz 'eey'*
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# managers aren't renowned for their sense of style.
they can sack you for cartoon cocks too.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:33, archived)
# From a distance it could look like a cock
Which is part of the criteria for being nsfw
Granted it's not downright tits flying out of my screen
Wait
Why is it not tits flying out of my screen?
I demand tits flying out of my screen!
(I helped save b3ta! xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:34, archived)
# FLY, MY PRETTIES!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# *bakes monkey cake*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# PRETTITS!
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# Hentai ring any bells?
;)
(I helped save b3ta! xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# Accessories for chickens are NOT porn.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# RULE THIRTY-FOUR.
But also: did I spell it wrong or something? :S
Or just generally get the wrong word?
(I helped save b3ta! xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:38, archived)
# Probably right word.
Cross between 'geek' and 'pervert', is an approx translation
(SockCooker ПТН ПНХ, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:45, archived)
# but a tie-wearing campanologist chicken?
It's made me pretty hard, I can tell you.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:39, archived)
# CAMPANOLOGISTS?
NOW you're talking!
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:41, archived)
# ballache
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:32, archived)
# Hahaha
I always said he was a cock
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:34, archived)
# ...

(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
# a very small casserole
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:29, archived)
# three corpses/ corpi
two graves
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:29, archived)
# Nope.
Try again...
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:30, archived)
# 4 hours and 5 minutes
edit: oh my god, the winking and the eyebrow waggling is huge :D
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:29, archived)
# *brain boggles*
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:29, archived)
# None.
You have a patio.

DAMN YOUR BAD WORDING! ;D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:30, archived)
# is that from 3.2.1.?
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:30, archived)
# God no, it's not that difficult...
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:31, archived)
# patio and in the walls
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:33, archived)
# It the answer
Geoff Hurst in the 1966 world cup?

It usually is.
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:31, archived)
# it's a trick question
Fred doesn't bury girls in the woods, he puts them under the patio
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:32, archived)
# *zips up*
www.b3ta.com/board/8550002
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:33, archived)
# accepts the pissage
with good grace and open mouth
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:34, archived)
# *charges £500*
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# *legs it without paying*

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
# one corpse
no graves
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:32, archived)
# graves are specified nonzero
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# then it's impossible.
If x is the number of graves you get the equation

2x+1 = x+1

which leads to x = 2x which only has the solution zero.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# My thoughts exactly.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:38, archived)
# I know I did it
hence my confused smilie in the next bit.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
# SEXY PARTY?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:33, archived)
# :S
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:34, archived)
# I think you might have messed this up
Is it 4 corpses, 3 graves?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# that would work if the last but one line was
"If I put two corpses per grave I have one grave too many"

Which, as you imply, is probably what he meant.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:39, archived)
# Hahaha
picture has been ninja edited ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:42, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:43, archived)
# Tee hee hee...
:D
me big twat
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:43, archived)
# :(
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:46, archived)
# And the freakiest looking kitten award goes to...
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bristol/7501699.stm
(longtimelurker, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:27, archived)
# Your mum?
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
# You're new here,
aren't you?
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
# and the you used /board when you wanted /links award goes to
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=41969
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
# er, no, that looks pretty normal to me
kittens are the one that grow up in to cats you know?
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:29, archived)
# "ARGH A TINY CAT!
WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?!"
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:32, archived)
#
AHEM!!!
(I helped save b3ta! @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:32, archived)
# The Cheeky Girls?

Anyway, the freakiest kitten award goes to noface, hands down
chasenoface.blogspot.com/
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# Touch my bum
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# Go on.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# *touches*
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:41, archived)
# Call that the freakiest?
Not on this board, matey, not by a very long piece of chalk with a fez on top, I expect

(SockCooker ПТН ПНХ, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:51, archived)
# newsletter subject line compo
please write something amusing
that we'll find ideal for choosing
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:26, archived)
# EDITED BY IRANIAN COMPUTER BOFFINS EDITED BY IRANIAN COMPUTER BOFFINS
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:27, archived)
# nicely
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
# Renaming knives 'gay sticks' to stop knife crime
(and yes I AM going to keep whoring that)
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:27, archived)
# If you must, I feel I must say "knives"
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:30, archived)
# Both these
made me laugh :]
(I helped save b3ta! Rapscallion is it fashion or disease?, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:31, archived)
# EDITED
always nice to meet a fellow pedant :)
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:32, archived)
# You have no idea how much pedantry gives me the horn :D
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:33, archived)
# *backs away slowly*
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:38, archived)
# Would it not make more sense to say
Renaming knives to 'gey sticks' TO stop knife crime.

Your tenses are all scwoowy
(I helped save b3ta! Furness, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:34, archived)
# NO
it wouldn't. My senses pwn yours today.
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# But I have Spidey-sense*
*May be lies
(I helped save b3ta! Furness, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# Swears are funny, right?
COCK COCK COCK COCK BULBOUS SCROTE SORE.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:27, archived)
# The sun never sets on a Bad Ass
(I helped save b3ta! Furness, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
# How about
Im the boss, so the rules don't apply to me.
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
# Made from the bones of 30 year-old virgins.
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
# Blatant winner.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
#
virgins Jerus
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:29, archived)
# See you've struck through the wrong part if you want me to look like a 30 year-old virgin.
And it's just highly implausible that they'd travel 9 years into the future, clone me multiple times and then use my bones.
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:31, archived)
# add to that the probability of you losing your virginity and the p-value is close to 1
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# Spanking the arse of God since Tuesday
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
# FREE GLASSES AND BEARD TODAY!
BECOME A PAEDO WITHOUT DELAY!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
# More shops than Lakeside
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
# YA CALL THAT A KNOIFE??
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:29, archived)
# THAT'S NAWT A KNOIFE!!!
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# *THIS* IS A KNOIFE MAYTE
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# 'UO AAAAR YA CALLIN' MAYTE, MAYTE.
I'M NAWT YOUR MAYTE, MAYTE!
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:48, archived)
# NAAAA MAYTE, YOUR ROIGHT YOU AAR MAYTE
AYE SINCEEEHLY APOLOGOISE
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:52, archived)
# APALAGISING? YOU'R A WANKA MAYTE!!
*kicks the shit out of*
ALLROIGHT! WANNA BEER MAYTE? :)
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:57, archived)
# *cripled* ya mayte
SO WEA MAYTES NAW? THASS JOOST BLOODY GRAYTE MAYTE!!
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:03, archived)
# "no its not its a spoon"
"alright alright. I see youve played knifey spooney before!"
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:50, archived)
# AUSTRALIANS ARE PEOPLE TOO!
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:29, archived)
# Same shit as always
(I helped save b3ta! B.T., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:29, archived)
# hiding the truth about ghost ants since 1974
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:29, archived)
# tie me kangaroo down, spork
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:30, archived)
# Free stabtastic flick knife with every issue
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:31, archived)
# or...
IT CAME FROM THE SPAM TRAY!!
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:31, archived)
# Prince Harry and Grotbags Orgy Shocker: What would Di think?
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:31, archived)
# cunt cunt cunty cunt
(I helped save b3ta! MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:32, archived)
# BTATO!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:32, archived)
# www.summerglauonastick.co.uk
(I helped save b3ta! Rapscallion is it fashion or disease?, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:33, archived)
# Hmmmmmm
You've been here before haven't you....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:44, archived)
# Oh for goodness sake.
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:55, archived)
# PUTTING THE I IN TEAMWORK
.
(I helped save b3ta! buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:34, archived)
# STABBING INTO YOUR INBOX LONDON STYLE
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:34, archived)
# where old paedo's come to die
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# where old paedo's die to come?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:56, archived)
# very possibly
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:58, archived)
# Print this out and read it on the bog.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# clogging up your spam filter like pubes in a sink
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# Penile truth in that new fangled sense.
(I helped save b3ta! Uncle Gilly hides from Plato, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# my anus is bleeding
(I helped save b3ta! MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:35, archived)
# friendly fire into your inbox
.
(get on with it Über alles in der Welt, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:36, archived)
# you're all going to die
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:38, archived)
# It's like eating shit, but meatier.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:38, archived)
# Can't be bothered - the summary
(waxdart hello., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:39, archived)
# Iranian government wins photoshopping challenge
or somesuch
(SockCooker ПТН ПНХ, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
# Studies reveal connection between left and right testicles
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:41, archived)
# ROBOCOP KILLED INVESTIGATING INCREASE IN METAL THEFTS
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:42, archived)
# Kittens for sale, only £5.00 a sack.
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:44, archived)
# Proud users of Adobe Rocketshop
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:45, archived)
# I'm going to try this one again.
THE B3TA NEWSLETTER; A PERFECT END TO THE WEAK.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:46, archived)
# FREE ABORTION WITH EVERY COPY
(I helped save b3ta! le brian, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:48, archived)
# OWNERS OF THE PATENT FOR A GUN THAT FIRES KNIVES
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:49, archived)
# Will this do, Rob?
(I helped save b3ta! Rapscallion is it fashion or disease?, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:51, archived)
# Putting the 'cunt' back into pcuntun
or
putting the pun back into puncunt, if you prefer
(SockCooker ПТН ПНХ, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:54, archived)
# Ctrl-C Ctrl-V MISSILE
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:56, archived)
# I LOVE KNIVES, AND KNIFE HANDLING
or
GUNS FOR SHOW, KNIVES FOR A PRO
(I helped save b3ta! lo, the Greebo Warrior - Est. 2002, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:56, archived)
# This week's newsletter is brought to you by the letter STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB!!!
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:04, archived)
# Bellends for Jesus.
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 15:14, archived)
[challenge entry] Amazingly people didn't flock out to buy this particular comic
(I helped save b3ta! @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:22, archived)
# Does he play for Dukla Prague?
(SockCooker ПТН ПНХ, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:24, archived)
[challenge entry] Last one for today.
(the_whore_of_mensa You are John Venables, and I claim my ten pounds!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:18, archived)
# nice sig
flash gordon?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:19, archived)
# WWAAAAH-OOOOHHHHHHH SAVOUR OF THE UNIVERSE.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:21, archived)
# don't diss the gordon
he saved every one of us
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:23, archived)
# I'm tempted to alter one of the lines of the song
but I fear that it may be too weird.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:25, archived)
# nothing is too weird for b3ta
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:27, archived)
# I'm too aroused to diss.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:25, archived)
# yay for arousal!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:27, archived)
# You wanna see? *points down*
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:30, archived)
# where's my magnifying glass?
*fumbles*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:32, archived)
# *runs away in fits of tears*
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:37, archived)
# come back, i can make it bigger!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:40, archived)
# *halts*....Oh?
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:41, archived)
# i have the magic touch
*dons creamy gloves*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:46, archived)
# Nah,
Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.

'Fanny, I won't leave you' etc ...
(the_whore_of_mensa You are John Venables, and I claim my ten pounds!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:27, archived)
# ah, right.
i've seen that one far too many times, too.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
[challenge entry] New in today...
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:12, archived)
# *splutters vimto everywhere*
I lol'd in the office :D

*clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! LunanLad WARNING: I Contain Nuts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:14, archived)
# The internet needs some new source pictures of mongs
Everyone, grab a camera and head to the south west!
(I helped save b3ta! Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:14, archived)
# That's...
...just made me cry laughing, I shit you not :-)
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:17, archived)
# Oi!
I'm goin' ter drive moi combine 'arvester round yer 'ouse and give you a ruddy good hidin'
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:25, archived)
# OI!
Them's only down 'ere 'cos it be that 'oliday season!

Where's me pasty?
(SenorPlankton is finding silly things to do ..., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:52, archived)
# hahahahahha!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:16, archived)
# oh, god
this is funnier than it should be
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:17, archived)
# very funny,
you should be ashamed though!!!
(webmeister is ready for the pub, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:17, archived)
# oh god hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! TheOther, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:17, archived)
# You're a very bad man!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:26, archived)
# Good lord
If I laugh, wil it happen to me?
(the_whore_of_mensa You are John Venables, and I claim my ten pounds!, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:29, archived)
[challenge entry] Bilbert? Dart?
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:07, archived)
# fact
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:08, archived)
# was he ever?!
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:08, archived)
# THIS
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:16, archived)
# Delbert is just Garfield
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:16, archived)
# i don't mind him
his 'joy of work' book was funny
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:19, archived)
# Dogbert is funny
prototype Brian in FG
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:20, archived)
# Two for one
Bargain!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:09, archived)
# pfft
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:09, archived)
# hahaha :)
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:10, archived)
# before Master of Turnips decides to call me a "Fucking racist" again
I would like to point out that this was done in response to a story a few months back about how britain would be safer if a pledge of allegiance to the crown was compulsory at school.

Satire is shit when you have to explain it to fucking retards.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:12, archived)
# racist :P
*runs before sarcasm is misinterpreted*
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:14, archived)
# U speled it rong.
Ideit.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:16, archived)
# :(
fcuk
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:18, archived)
# Either way, the racism card's too overplayed these days.
Poking fun at the differences between one guy and another is perfectly normal, as far as I'm concerned. I take the piss out of my mum for having a bigger nose than me, I don't see the difference between nose size, skin colour, length of....earlobes. Whatever.

People generally need to chill the fuck out.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:18, archived)
# mind your language, ya jew-cheeks
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:20, archived)
# watch yourself, Haggis, I'll sheeny curse you.
Anyway, all of my jew cheeks are plump and lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:22, archived)
# *trips over*
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:24, archived)
# Go back and do it again.
And this time I want you to make LOVE to thbe camera dahlink. Look at it as if it's a distended piece of meat fashioned into a crude vaginal shape and you're some sort of sexless v-plated adult.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:26, archived)
# *rolls around on the floor gurgling*
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:28, archived)
# Get up, those are Dio Lederhosen you're wearing.
Right, I'm off to go and cry and clutch my tummy. Bye all...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:29, archived)
# Byebye Wow. Get a slave to rub tumtum.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:32, archived)
# anti semite
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:21, archived)
# Oy, I said Seinfeld isn't funny ONCE. What, you want I should love it out of blood ties?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:23, archived)
# seinfeld isn't funny at all
There am I saved from being jewified with scissors?

*nyoms on pork crackle*
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:27, archived)
# YOU
how' the holiday going? (it is this week isn't it)

you finished Metal Gear Solid / smoked yourself blind?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:26, archived)
# Nope and nope.
I've fallen out with MGS due to flying bitch, I can't be arsed to snipe her for a fucking hour.

And not enough gear to smoke myself blind, I'm eeking out what little I have.

The holiday's good though, so far I've had one of the worst periods of my life and an explosive arse (thank you, India).

Fucking ACE.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:27, archived)
# sounds -- confusing.
you've got me worried about MGSIV now... I was pinning all my hopes on it being the best thing ever... but in a grown up way.

Sorry to hear about the disruptive nature of your lower middle body... hopefully that's all over with.

I'm out of grass too and I have been for the longest time in a while - I'm not sure what menstruating feels like, but I think I have a new appreciation for it; I'm either going to ride this bad boy out and stay off the puff for a while or buckle tonight and go out and pick up a bag... hhhmmmmmm
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:34, archived)
# RASEIST.
SATIYER.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:14, archived)
# OMG ISLAMIST THREAT!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:17, archived)
# any more? :)
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:10, archived)
# hmmm... I actually think dilbert is quite good... Most of the time
Simpsons, however, has lost the plot...
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:15, archived)
# Just got this game today!
(webmeister is ready for the pub, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:07, archived)
# it's clown soul
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:08, archived)
# not ginger
fake
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:09, archived)
# well the horse is gingerish
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:11, archived)
# AAAAAAAA YOUR RIGHT
I didn't recognise him without his hat!

Clany hasn't had a temper tantrum recently has he?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:12, archived)
# i don't see him much on here at the moment
he is spending to much time being an emo
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:14, archived)
# HAHA.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:15, archived)
# you or him
edit: his shaggable hasn't upped and left to find something else has it?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:15, archived)
# Him
he is an arse

Edit: you mean his sheep has run away
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:17, archived)
# mmmmmmmmm I reserve judgement
he hasn't been an arse to me
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:19, archived)
# i've seen a few of his emo moments on here
not nice
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:20, archived)
# he snapped at hexy a bit, it's just another episode of CB3tans
I'm surprised no-one has told me where to get off for some of my whining.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:23, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:08, archived)
# it's funny 'cause he's wee :)
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:09, archived)
# That's BOSTIN'
Have a rock-hard *click*
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:12, archived)
# Oh my...
how very black country !
(Kaplaaah Wasting time on the net since 1994., Fri 11 Jul 2008, 14:54, archived)

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