A while ago a mate of mine was working for our local recording studio. One day this old, mad, drunk Irish guy turned up asking to record his song after his 'mates' at the pub suggested he do it. Apparently its about him wanting kids to be more free and not have to go to school. Anyway, without there being any apparent key or rhythm to his song, my mate just put the sound of kids laughing and some random atmospheric strings in the back for him.
I on the other hand have made this techno remix. Let me know what you think!
(The original is here if you wanna mix it yourself)
www.fileden.com/files/2008/3/20/1825830/Mr%20Sandman.mp3

(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:40, Reply)
and my vewy first image post - hope to be jeesis it works !
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:31, Reply)
Link no worky, but this should be posted on the main board anyway.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:32, Reply)
got the linbk to work but want to put it on the image challenge page . . . . could not find instruction on the Faqs ?
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:44, Reply)
b3ta.com/features/faq/#postimage
In this case, copy and paste the following line into the message when you post it on the main board.
<img src="http://www.theimagesource.net/b3ta/crimbo%20card.jpg">
edit: make sure you choose the "B3ta image challenge: christmas cards" from the drop down box when posting a new message, so it gets posted in the image challenge section.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:52, Reply)
but the drop down only has the one option for me... no worries, if I leave it alone I'm sure it 'sort itself out' yawn... :)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 19:28, Reply)
Inspired by the legendary Ross Kemp on Gangs post, and by the fact that Facebook has been creeping in to episodes of Neighbours these days, I decided to chuck this scrappy mess together.
It's not very funny and I was very bored. You have been warned.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:54, Reply)
"You're more irritating than stepping on a plug"
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 19:48, Reply)
but it was. So bad it's good, but so good it was bad. I clicked.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 20:50, Reply)
...but i need a picture of Tweety (as in Tweety and Sylvester), when he's been turned into a monster, by drinking the Jekyll and Hyde potion - can't find one ANYWHERE
Help meeeeeee
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:50, Reply)
(ps - used to scare the CRAP out of me as a kid)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:55, Reply)
I was expecting some fists of fury in the face of the person who set him up!
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:01, Reply)
being a sometime /talk poster, and longtime lurker there, can I, for one, warmly welcome you back to b3ta because you seem like a thoroughly great bloke.
and in small part because I was developing an ASCII art detector, and was using most of your content as test cases :D
Now lets get Gilgamesh back!
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 20:22, Reply)
it's funny because it's true...they do taste awfully nice
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:43, Reply)
I got smashed on a whole bottle of chocolate liquer once. I kept waving the bottle in front of people saying "it's chocolate!!"
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:54, Reply)
And doesn't the boss guy really look like Peter Capaldi in The Thick Of It?
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:02, Reply)
*Needs Opera web browser*
Been looking at the stats for my webdesign site, and it has a lot of referrals from Play.com - keeps trying to load images from my webspace - couldn't work out why til I looked at their css - it has lots of references to "techdesign" - I presume that as the browser can't find the "techdesign" in question, it uses Google, and then tries to load them from my webspace at techdesigns.co.uk.
This only happens for users of Opera 9.62
I've replaced images it tries to load with this:

Below is how the Play website now displays when using Opera:
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:58, Reply)
Also, Opera is the best browser ever.
Anyone who disagrees is clearly a homogayboy.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:04, Reply)
cos I think it blows arse
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:14, Reply)
I am going to disagree here and say that it's clearly not the best when it deliberates puts load on other people's web servers and permits cross-site attacks like this one. :P
(, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 15:29, Reply)
but it has a couple of major bugs.
Doesn't update written text unless prompted to (like highlighting text) doesn't sound bad unless, like me, you can;t spell and need to double check everything you post. Then it;s gets annoying
Sometimes bugs up and stops playing embedded vids after a couple of seconds
(, Sun 7 Dec 2008, 3:21, Reply)
I like Opera and I am a homogayboy! In fact most homogayboys like opera the music as well!
(, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 20:37, Reply)
That's pretty funny, but i'd suggest you let play.com know what's going on so they can fix it. Good karma rather than angry sueings leading up to Christmas and all that!
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:04, Reply)
Replacing images they're leeching from his site?
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:09, Reply)
he knowingly changed the images for something that could cost the company thousands of pounds. So I'm sure they could get him for something.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:26, Reply)
Whether I'd argue that remains to be seen.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:40, Reply)
There's a missing component on the Play site, which one particular(ly crap) browser is trying to do something smart to find and failing. The only reason he's getting this traffic is because Opera is sending it his way, not Play.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:55, Reply)
But is it not the responsibility of Play to ensure that their content is sourced from the correct place, rather than through his site? I know nothing of the workings of Opera though, I'm just happy to talk to someone. :D
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:00, Reply)
Surely it is Play's fault, because all he's done is to create an image for his own site. If they happen to use that image without permission then the moral rights are surely his?
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 19:20, Reply)
It is, but this is rather the Web equivalent of "I'm going to swing my arms in a circle and walk forward like so, and if you get a smack in the eye it's your own fault, eh!"
(, Sat 6 Dec 2008, 20:31, Reply)
If it's something that only works in Opera, surely it's a bug in opera, rather than Play's fault?
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:52, Reply)
similar to the way your username links to localhost/ when you preview a post on the main or talk board :)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:35, Reply)
I just *had* to check whether I'd left the dev server running on my home box then ;¬)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 19:51, Reply)
I've done similar things with people leeching my images, but nothing that high-profile of course. ;)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:08, Reply)
doesn't work anymore. i'm using opera version 9.62 build 10467.
oh and opera is the best browser for a number of reasons, but mainly because it has mouse gestures.
download it, use the mouse gestures (especially the 'back' button one) for a day or two, then try going back to your crummy IE or FF. you'll hate not having mouse gestures. :)
(, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 19:41, Reply)
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/39
damned good app though :)
(, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 21:16, Reply)
It saves a lot of time I used to waste with mouse gestures.
(, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 23:13, Reply)
everyone knows play.com is better
they have free delivery on everything *thumbs up*
(, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 20:31, Reply)
that they looked at there logs, and saw a lot of interest from b3ta.com :P
the irony is without limit :P
PS

Click for buggering.
You now can't open that page at all in opera. Silly lazy play.com
(, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 21:51, Reply)
These lovely ladies were part of a group of prostitutes cops rounded up in an UGLY sting.
Officers in Chattanooga, Tennessee, carried out a vice crackdown after complaints from local residents.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:51, Reply)
Yeah... there's a reason they're like that; that's how some of those girls continue to earn a living.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:52, Reply)
from "My Name is Earl" crossed with Kurt Russell.
That is all.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:28, Reply)
you should see some of the Manchester ones. I do wonder who pays for them.... there is a 60 year old heroin addict great grandma with no teeth. She's not nice.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 19:23, Reply)
"Winter wonderland" turns out to be the biggest pile of crap going. 25 squid?!
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:50, Reply)
but I did almost miss college to go, as I drive by on the way in.
go paintballing instead, its just a bit further along the road.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:54, Reply)
I just found the pics of it piss funny. The nativity scene is especially charming...
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:59, Reply)
Also I like how you have to pay to visit their gift shop.
Also their "elves". news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/html/5.stm
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:14, Reply)
has his own security..
news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/html/8.stm
the stress must have been bad for his elf!
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:48, Reply)
... The mind boggles.
Shabba!
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:32, Reply)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:56, Reply)
look at the name of the family :) - rather apt.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7759122.stm
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:24, Reply)
Just wait, it'll be in the Daily Fail before you know and the number will keep on rising- I bet on 40000 before the week is out!
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:30, Reply)
Let's face it, they have only one prospective employment bubble a year.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:33, Reply)
the miserable Woodland Elf (singular) and this quote from the local news site:
“We saw two donkeys and some deer in the forest but they were asleep” - ???
Obviously a rip off, but in all seriousness, what do these people expect in deepest darkest Dorset?
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:35, Reply)
They've done their best, bless 'em, but seriously, £25? Isn't Alton Towers about £30?
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:43, Reply)
the web site reported that they had sold out all visitor tickets for the next 3 weekends and were almost/totally full on week days (it didn't say how many that was per day or otherwise), they even have a tv day on the 4th Dec.. not sure which channel!
So they must be doing well out of it.
Prices are:
· Individual tickets are: £30.00 / Family groups of 4 or above are only: £25.00 each.
· Infants under 24 months: £10.00 each - just add "Baby Tickets" from top of list.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:54, Reply)
£10 to have the kids pic taken with santa in the grotto (no personal cameras allowed)
further £ to gain entry to various rides and attractions, AND you also pay extra to get into the shop area.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:56, Reply)
www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/home-living-541/house-garden-194/days-out-365/229664-lapland-new-forest-3.html
comment #74 from lucy t(7)
=-(
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:07, Reply)
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1090931/Parents-anger-Lapland-theme-park-sham-costs-25-ticket.html
Won't someone think of the kids ! String them up !
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:48, Reply)
Good. Teach them the misery of christmas while they're young.
- Howard, Ipswich
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:13, Reply)
What did they expect? That's generally what huskies do when they're not running around.
The rest sounds pretty poo though.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:54, Reply)
www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/3938049.NO_HO_HO_AT_LAPLAND_IN_FOREST___UPDATED/
Comments!! Oh there's some crackers in there ESPECIALLY IN CAPS LOCK
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:05, Reply)
"I travelled all the way here with my wife sat on a donkey. The accomodation was awful despite my poor wife being almost nine months pregnant. It was nothing less than a stable.There were donkeys and and other animals tied up close by.
When we came to register there were long queues. To make matters worse King Herod's tales of wanting to visit my son were lies, he even set about killing all the other infants.
I hope people take note of our misfortune and remember what happened here and what it meant."
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:48, Reply)
Even the Snowman is shit
www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1114160&op=1&o=all&view=all&subj=37506337887&aid=-1&oid=37506337887&id=653104331
It all becomes clear now..Run by Pikeys...
www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1165551&op=2&o=all&view=all&subj=37506337887&aid=-1&oid=37506337887&id=570598371
www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1165550&op=2&o=all&view=all&subj=37506337887&aid=-1&oid=37506337887&id=570598371
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 17:06, Reply)
who has noticed this story every year but in a different part of the county?
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 23:03, Reply)
Farcical scenes saw “elves” involved in scuffles with furious parents in a “gingerbread house” and Father Christmas punched in his grotto, according to angry customers who are now demanding their money back.
One parent complained her children even stumbled across “Santa” during a smoking break at the back of his grotto.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 12:42, Reply)
I have trouble believing this is real.
But it is.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:49, Reply)
Sorry about yesterday, the batteries in the controller borked out on me :(
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:52, Reply)
I had to go to work anyway although my terrible addiction dragged me back home after an hour.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:54, Reply)
You should get online immediately. There are a million and one lovely things awaiting you, each more lovely than the last.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:16, Reply)
yet to acquire Mario Kart though.
Downloaded The Last Ninja recently though. It is full of difficult WIN.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:19, Reply)
/personal opinion only.
The present Mrs. Archie posted 8 dvds to you today, We both thought the other had posted them, and they were sitting on a side desk for the past week.
should be with you in a couple of days
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:57, Reply)
Cheers mate :) I need to post (belatedly) some dvd's to 2 others on here, so no worries :)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:59, Reply)
The theatre where i work is going to have the Chuckle Brothers perfoming this in the new year, i might get my photo taken with them whilst i sport an massive (fake) moustache!!!
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:29, Reply)
Un-freakin-believable.
They *must* know. They just must.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:42, Reply)
This is pretty amazing, type in the number and the country, and let Google Maps find that person for you with the technology of Satellites!
EDIT:
......Sorry
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:51, Reply)
seriously, you should edit it, and pop on a NSFW tag before a mod sees it.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:01, Reply)
Keeps getting licked by the cats. Do you want it back?
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:02, Reply)
it's scabies cream
"Hey this crab paste tastes funny."
"It was in date when I bought it from the chemists"
hur, hur, hur.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:07, Reply)
Speaking of weird when I was out on Friday night some bloke kept trying to lick my face.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:19, Reply)
odder than just "some bloke kept trying to lick my face"?
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:41, Reply)
other than that I've murderers and rapists left right and centre... same old same old
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:19, Reply)
rapists to the right.....
and thats just my colleagues
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:23, Reply)
www.instantrimshot.com/ (Very SFW, it's just your dirty mind).
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:34, Reply)
got back last night. Beard gone, as promised :)
I've got pics of it just before it went. I must facebook them at some point.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:16, Reply)
I advise you not to click this link unless you have a very tolerant workplace. And I mean VERY.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:56, Reply)
and everything seems to suggest it is, you should seriously warn people.
I am not clicking it.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:58, Reply)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:58, Reply)
It's just lame internet shock tactics.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:00, Reply)
It's less funny than finding you've got shit on your shoes, or your dad's the goatse man.
*Yes yes, opinions on humour differ, but please...
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:30, Reply)
Label it up as NSFW
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:59, Reply)
I know what the link is, but shall bookmark it and look at it at home the same as every other NSFW link!
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:37, Reply)
This popped into my head yesterday. It's as great as I remember it (although the video's a bit rough).
YouTube says lots. Meh.
Now: did I dream it, or was there once a TOTP collaboration between Salt'n'Pepa and Pearl Jam?
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:34, Reply)
I'd not seen it before tis awesome.
The news that skunk anansie are getting back together has me more than a bit excited.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:55, Reply)
I was their temp drummer between main drummers.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:37, Reply)
I took the place of Björk during the years 1996-2002 while she was hibernating. I filled the role seamlessly.
Oh, yes.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:41, Reply)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:38, Reply)
erm yeah, what can i say i was a sessiondrummer whore for a while.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:41, Reply)
... and you were ever in the room with anyone from the Lighthouse Family and STILL failed to kill them slowly, painfully and permanently, then you are a disgrace to humanity.
Given the choice between the Lighthouse Family and being struck down by cancer of the Aids, I'd go for the latter. God, I hate them.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:45, Reply)
seems most bands I work with fold shortly afterwards, The shitehouse family were no exception. Muhahaha
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:50, Reply)
I had a flatmate whose favourite band they were when I was an undergrad.
12 years later, I still have flashbacks.
*shudders*
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:04, Reply)
This may well have been here before, but for those that haven't seen it, this is part one of Rik Mayall doing George's Marvellous Medicine on Jackanory, back in 1986.
Riverghost's post below reminded me quite how good he is.
This, in my humble opinion, is what kids tv should be.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:33, Reply)
But this I remember as if it was yesterday! Excellent post! :)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:19, Reply)
Mayall is a legend.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:04, Reply)
He used to sit on a big chair with monster legs. Please tell me this exists??
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:14, Reply)
I think it may have been called Grimm Tales?
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 19:39, Reply)
Just to set the record straight from the off, this isn't spam, although if you'd like to sign up at Footbo.com, that would be great!
Anyway, this is my latest web series, this time all about football. I filmed this yesterday at Stamford Bridge and thought I'd post it here for the 12 football fans who peruse B3ta.
Can Chelsea fans tell the difference between John Terry and Neneh Cherry?
It's only 5 minutes long so if you could spare that and give me feedback, that would be great!
It's no Ross Kemp on Gangs overdub though sadly.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:54, Reply)
Worth a watch if you missed it last night and have an hour to spare...
(It's BBC iPlayer, so it may only work in the UK)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:49, Reply)
then connect to watch/download, then change back to your regular proxy.. It sometimes works.
If anyone knows a better way, let me know pliz!
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:17, Reply)
the easiest way of doing it...
Also, rather than faffing about with your browser proxy settings, try www.spysurfing.com/.
:)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:22, Reply)
Some of those locals were pretty scary!
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:24, Reply)
Grim. I've recorded it for viewing wen I'm in a better mood.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:39, Reply)
I didi post this about 4 months ago but I stumbled upon it again so I posted it as it's fantastical!
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:27, Reply)
He'd do him well...
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:21, Reply)
seeing as the lying bastard Blair out-Toried the worst 80s Tories in the end...
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:30, Reply)
in 2006, called the Blair B'Stard project, in which B'Stard joined labour. It was very good, but as they kept updating the script, Rik kept forgetting bits and occasionally had to use the script...
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:36, Reply)
I laughed the first time, and again just now. One my (still!) favourite tv shows is Bottom, with him and Ade Edmonson. Classic
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:47, Reply)
onto the Houses of Parliament?
This is so much better than that.
Dragons and cherubs and all sorts of video trickery goodness projected onto buildings
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:21, Reply)
I can confirm that she is now very bald and rather mental.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:05, Reply)
Nowt wrong with being a bit mental ;)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:40, Reply)
Is always worthy of a re-post. I'd like to have a projection of this on a block of flats with people throwing themselves over their balconies.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/251564
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:16, Reply)
"Douglas Adams was the best-selling British author and satirist who created The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In this talk at UCSB recorded shortly before his death, Adams shares hilarious accounts of some of the apparently absurd lifestyles of the world's creatures, and gleans from them extraordinary perceptions about the future of humanity."
I don't think this has been posted before.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:09, Reply)
Bookmarked for when I'm home with a nice cup of tea :)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:42, Reply)
It's long, but well worth watching whether you have the time or not.
A great man.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:58, Reply)
she had a pint with him while she was still a student. Apparently he was a thoroughly nice bloke :)
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 14:49, Reply)
an afternoon with him about 2 years before he died talking Hitchiker's, Macs, Bob Dylan... lovely, lovely man.
(, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 18:57, Reply)
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