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Hi folks, I quit my job today. I'm no longer a psychic! Hazaaah!
The juicy details are here (the general jist is I refused to work when they were trying to bully me into it). So, I can either try and find another job or I can work full-time on the company.
I don't really expect you to care, but regardless of consequences, I feel quite good and felt I had to share with people who might feign and interest.
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:10, archived)

Noit left his job at half ten this morning,
and started his new one at half one this afternoon.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:11, archived)

Thats excellent.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

It is.
Also, well done:)
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:14, archived)

:) I trust you are well too, etc?

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:16, archived)

Not too bad.
I left my job yesterday, eep. Need to find a nice part time job now.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:17, archived)

orish phone sex line?
all the perverted things you can do with potatoes.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:26, archived)

"ohhh, I'm rubbing my King Edward against your Prince Albert..."

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:34, archived)

OH GOD IT'S IN ALL MY EYES

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:06, archived)

I accidentally clicked ilt on this post
My subconscious obviously cares a lot for noit
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

This is fairly big news,
but more importantly, did my randomburn arrive?
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

Nope, not yet I dont think.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

did mine?

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:16, archived)

Yes! It did :) I ripped it and its on my playlist. Cheers.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:17, archived)

It should be there soon.
Two other victims have got theirs, including one in Germany.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:17, archived)

I've got the playlist done but my external CD drive is broke :(
I may have to just write the lyrics on a sheet and post them instead for each song
(

moohalaa, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:23, archived)

Speaking of randomburn
I too have my to burn list done but will not be able to send them off til monday...sorry those poor sods who will end up with cds full of crap.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:27, archived)

haha oh very much this
I'll get a friend to burn them and post them to me I think
(

moohalaa, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:29, archived)

I have been looking whilst at car boot sales for some truly obscure tat
and I now have a cd worth to send out.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:31, archived)

I'm reassured that I'm not the only person who hasn't sent mine
Mind you, I haven't received any yet either, so at least five people are as tardy as i
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

MEXICAN STANDOFF

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

Are you doing me Moohalaa?

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:27, archived)

if you ask nicely and buy him the odd drink

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:30, archived)

maybe
*unzips*
(

moohalaa, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:56, archived)

Can see through the strike-throughs.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

Only partially, at least I've made an effort.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

that's because you've got special powers.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

I'm able to make people with spots shout at their PC monitors.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

"No-one tells me when to go to bed"
"Go to bed, spotty"
I can just imagine you in a bearskin hat now.

Somebody in the world must know what I'm going on about.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

Go to bed, spotty.
Ha-ha - I'd forgotten that.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:24, archived)

a young ones quote

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

good for you,
personal awesome empowerment and all that. I hope it works out.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

Cheers :)

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

.
I just ate steak and kidney pie that smelled of horse urine. Now, I know that the kidney's are were urine is processed, but they were definitely cooked, and they were from a cow. Should they have smelled thusly?
(The Earl of Kilburnie, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

No, they should not have.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:14, archived)

did you make it yourself? sounds like the kidneys were not adequately rinsed...so the uriney smell was probably...urine...
(

vladimir, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

won't do you any harm,
just isn't very nice, really.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:16, archived)

wiki wee-wee
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urine_therapy
(

vladimir, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:17, archived)

Kidneys always smell slightly pissy to me.
Shouldn't be strong enough to taint the whole pie though
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:16, archived)

If you'd get your holiday allowance if you wored out a week's notice, why didn't you?
But yes, okay, yes, I hope you'll be much happier now you're not working for them.

Have you got anything else lined up?
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:14, archived)

I run a company, but I suppose I now just have to work my arse of at it in order to make it profitable.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

what does it do?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

And he probably wouldnt have paid holidays anyway, but I heard somewhere you're dont get paid holidays if you dont work your notice.
Or something. I tried to keep it lighthearted and to the point.
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:16, archived)

DEAR INTERNET USER
Are you struggling to get JUSTICE in an ONLINE EMPLOYMENT RELATED ISSUE.

INTERNETLAWYERMAN can help.
(INTERNETLAWYERMAN QC: Ace Attorney, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:27, archived)

Haha! YES! I AM CLICKING THIS WITH THE MOST MY FAT FINGERS CAN MASH MY CHEESEY-KEYBOARD.
Excellent puppet-accounting.
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:30, archived)

I applied for some jobs today.
I don't know if I really want to do any of them though.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 29 May 2009, 19:18, archived)

I know that feeling.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:19, archived)

of course you don't.
That's why they'd have to pay you to do them.
(

Batsgirl, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:05, archived)

The only downside to this is that you will no longer come here and ask us to contribute to sad acts who think phone psychic lines are a good idea
but aside from that well done in telling them enough is enough.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:25, archived)

Nah, I got in trouble for playing the psychic-game on b3ta :(

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:26, archived)

Pffft, oops.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:27, archived)

shame
twas a laugh.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:27, archived)

It was quite good, made the job less dull.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:30, archived)

but I supoose as it was psychic
you should have seen this coming.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

I always wanted to make a sign for the office that said "you don't have to be psychic to work here. but it helps!!!"

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:33, archived)

at least now you can get a reference from Doris Stokes and Derek Acorah

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:35, archived)

Don't get me started on Derek Acorah, the mother fucker.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:39, archived)

is that what he does now?

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:45, archived)

you should have added to your resignation letter
"Of course, none of this should come as a surprise to you..."
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:36, archived)

HAHAHA, fuck! Damnit. I really wish I did now.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:38, archived)

piss ;)

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 19:40, archived)

where "always" means since I suggested it

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:40, archived)

Was that you? I wondered where it came from. I'm not usually that witty.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:43, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6101119
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:44, archived)

and they didn't see that coming?

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 19:39, archived)

Bloody well done.
I can't remember how many times I've wished I had the balls* to simply walk out of a shite job.

*figuratively speaking
(

Batsgirl, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

Good work there.
Frankly I wouldn't have stood for even a fraction of the management bollocks you've been subjected to, but then again the logistics industry is so fiercely competitive that they wouldn't have got away with it, especially not in these times.

What's your next move?
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

Pity me my friends
As I write this message I am sat in the toilets of a McDonalds.
My body is covered in sweat and my legs are shaking.

I am not cottaging, I am shitting.
Even as I type these words into my phone it is gushing out of me.
It smells awful. The colour and texture is akin to khaki gravy.
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

lovely, get me a big mac

(

mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

Quarter pounder FTW

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

just the one?

(

moohalaa, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

Some of us dont order the entire menu when we go in there Mooie:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

I'm quite sure on the odd occasion you've gotten yourself McMuffled.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

You'll have to speak up
you're on TURBOIGNORE!
(

moohalaa, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:38, archived)

It's a good job you're on block by connection.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 19:02, archived)

i had one christmas eve when i was 10, got the shits and ruined my crimbo, sadtimes

(

mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

Every time i eat one i shall think of you shitting yourself at xmas

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

Can you bear to think of him that often?

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

Hold on
Im on my sixth burger now

Vinegar strokes
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:41, archived)

You put vinegar on your burgers?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

Actually i put vinegar on most foods
Its an addiction
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:44, archived)

i shit my he man jimmys :((((((

(

mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

Did your neck sustain any level of burning?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

This is a fantastic advert for McDonalds

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

*points and laughs*
I'm sitting with my laptop and a glass garden table that I just purshashed,
in the sun with icy drinks and some olives and things.
(

moohalaa, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

PUFF!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

I might even put a little pink umbrella in my drink
we have to have a packet of them in our cupboards by law
(

moohalaa, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:39, archived)

I am also outside with a BBQ and gin in the sun
It's very nice.
(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

oooh bbq! I didn't think of that, I might get a disposable one and stick some goodies on it

(

moohalaa, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

we're having all the goodies
Anti pasta at the mo. Then maybe some salad things and some hot meats
(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:38, archived)

Have you ever tried to slam anti pasta and pasta together?
That's how the universe was formed, you know
(

moohalaa, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:39, archived)

so I've heard...

(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:44, archived)

I have no foods. I should start some cooking.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 29 May 2009, 18:58, archived)

I spent the day sitting under my free table parasol.
My cousin bought a load at an auction for £5 each. We checked online and they are worth over £100 each, so he's happy.
(

OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:02, archived)

Taste it. Taste it bitch. Tell me what it tastes like. Mmmm. Yeah. Stick your finger in and lick it off.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

McDonalds, eh?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

The toilets are nicer in Burger King

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

They come with personalised gloryholes

(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:40, archived)

Yes. By nicer I meant more sexually rewarding.

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:47, archived)

Which end of the hole
are you normally on then?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:48, archived)

I am the hole.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:49, archived)

If you eat at McDonalds, be prepared to deal with the consequences.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

^ this

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

I wasn't eating there
I was in dire need of a poo and it was the nearest place that I didn't feel guilty about defiling.
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:43, archived)

Oh right.
But still, if you don't want to repeat this experience tomorrow, whatever you do don't eat there.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:46, archived)

yeah
because eating at mcdonalds automatically gives you the shits...
(neorockz :), Fri 29 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

You've got more chance of getting it from their food than anyone else's, bar dodgy half-rotten takeaways.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

to my knowledge
they have pretty strict controls over cleanliness in mcdonalds, washing hands a lot, wearing gloves when preparing food, machinery maintainence etc.
(neorockz :), Fri 29 May 2009, 19:18, archived)

Get on with it then.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

There's a spotty teenage McDonals employee on the other side of your toilet door.
and he's wanking to the sound of your tumultuous strains.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 29 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

Why why why tell the internet?

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 29 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

You missed the words "anything" and "ever".

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

Well, I am a keen Internet Over Sharer, but there are limits...

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 29 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

This is what worries me.
I like Wormulus. He enjoys football, and seems to understand fun on here.
But outside is not for internet.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

It was so traumatic that I needed to share.

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:40, archived)

you're probably dying of swine flu &
madcows disease

before you leave take some of your movements to the salad bar and sprinkle liberally
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 18:44, archived)

Probably SARS and H5N1 too.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:47, archived)

not cool
an already traumatic shit made worse by the surroundings. fail.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

>=(

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:38, archived)

Did you have fries with that?

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:39, archived)

your phone is now covered in shit molecules

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 18:40, archived)

And vica versa

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:41, archived)

I don't belive you

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:44, archived)

draw a face in poo on the wall

a downsy face
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:55, archived)

Fascinating.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:55, archived)

i'm gonna be smug
and you lot are gonna crucify me, and i don't care :D
i just traded in my old shitty job for a shiny new one in graphic design. fucking win! i'm gonna get drunk now.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:57, archived)

Well done mate :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:57, archived)

BET YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT WERE YA BEEEEEEAAATCHEEEEZZ?!?!!?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:58, archived)

*faints*
*wakes up*
*rereads post*
*faints again but this time manages to end up in a compromising position with a waste paper bin*
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

lets both double dick the next girl to reply!!!
*waits*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

Afternoon!
*coughs*
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:03, archived)

*imagines mykey in a skirt*

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:04, archived)

No doubt this has you frothing at the gash.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

It's like someone's turned on a tap.

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

WOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
/Moohalaa
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 18:04, archived)

Actually, go with Mykey.
Fuller breasts.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 18:04, archived)

2 sicks in 2 minutes
guuuuh
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:05, archived)

can i get in on this titty action?
*jiggles hairy moobs seductively*
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

That's wonderful
But it's home time now so I really couldn't care less.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:58, archived)

i shall be home in an hour
and pissed as a cunt in an hour and a half.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

Blimey, you're easy.

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:03, archived)

awesome power!
I've been trying to phone the council all day to ask them why they didn't want me, but it either just rang and rang or was engaged.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

Awwwww fuck...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

what?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

up there

↑

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:01, archived)

i just tried to wipe that arrow off my screen like it was a speck of dirt :/

(

well, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:02, archived)

my god, the council, slackin on a friday??
unfuckingheardof!
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:04, archived)

most councils work a short day on fridays

(

well, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:05, archived)

Work?

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 29 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

pretty damn short if they've gone home by 11 am.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:12, archived)

no, 11am is lunchtime. then, back for half one, out at 1:35 for a ciggie, then back, then home about 2?
sounds about right for a weekday.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

don't make me even more upset about not being able to get a job there.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

nice one
what were you doing before?

oh and have a croissant
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

network engineer
basically i press f5 and delegate blame. usually in 12 hour patches. it was fuckin shit, you could train a chimp to do it.. in fact i suspect that's their next costcutting move.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

you'll eventually grow to hate the new job as much as you did the old one

(

well, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:01, archived)

Commeth the hour
and we can remind him of his smuggery.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:02, archived)

well done
I work with loads of photoshop and illustrator monkeys. You need to look cool 24/7, and sit 3 cm away from your massive 24" screen. that is all.
(

MrA, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:01, archived)

I could do that
well apart from the looking cool bit
(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:02, archived)

i shall prepare my 'don't bother me i'm intensely involved in something arcane and important' squint
and wear my best kipper tie. it's an actual kipper y'know!
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:03, archived)

You'll work for free for two months
take out a few loans, buy some expensive presents, then the boss will announce that they can't afford to give you your back pay, you'll be made redundant, the bailliffs will be called in, and you'll be back to picking lettuces at 4am with BO-stenched Latvians for a gangmaster before September.

Still, thumbs up and all that.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:07, archived)

i like latvians
the stinkier the better. plus, some of the less hairy ones, have a ladypocket, and if you give em a shiny new pound, they'll let you shove your todger in there and flail about like a drowning man.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

Afternoon all
Can anyone remember the old meme with the twitching, flashing, fit-inducing GIFs of various object/people, generally in blue or green? What was it called, and does anyone have a link to an example please?
(HobbitNobbit, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:55, archived)

The meme was called
CHAPPA CHOO CHAAY!!

just run a search for it dude :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:56, archived)

Nooo!
Lies!
(HobbitNobbit, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

??
nope. Did you search for it?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

I did yeah
Unfortunately nothing came up :-(
(HobbitNobbit, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:02, archived)

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:03, archived)

MAXIMUM CUNTING THERE DG!
*pats on the back*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy spankuuuuuuu

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

I've been away too long...
So does anyone know?
(HobbitNobbit, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:11, archived)

i got bollywood
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWFvR-sBflE

better than spazzgifs
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

Would anyone like to strap a honeybadger to their cock for a dare?

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:56, archived)

I'd do it.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:56, archived)

You would, as well.

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:58, archived)

Fucking too right, and you'd enjoy it.
perv
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

It's already happening in my head.
Oh yeah.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:00, archived)

spack?
Anyway, I'm off now. See people tomorrow if they're in attendance.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:57, archived)

no. CHAPPA CHOO CHAAY!!!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:58, archived)

spack something or other

(

well, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:58, archived)

noooooooo. CHAPPA CHOO CHAAY!!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:58, archived)

oops
+!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:59, archived)

Hello JMG fans. I've been out in the car for a short while doing business and being generally hailed as the hero.
Since I was last on I can only imagine it's been shit on here.
Well not to worry, now Captain Fun has returned, you can all slip back in to somewhat less shit internet.

Who'd like to be first of a long list of loners who'll fall out with me in full public view?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:15, archived)

The only way we could fall out with each other is if we organise an annual B3ta parachuting extravaganza.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:15, archived)

I'd like to turn up to such an event with scissors.
We could take out a few, MoT.
A few would be sacrificed in the quest for better internet.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:20, archived)

Can I build a little birdhouse in your soul?

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:16, archived)

Knock yourself out.
I'm an incredibly generous champion.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:21, archived)

Whats your favourite kind of icrecream/lolly to eat during the summer months?

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:22, archived)

I really haven't 'lollied' as such in many a year.
I'd have to admit to being a FRUIT PASTILLES man, back in the day.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:24, archived)

*Fruit Pastille fives*
You mean the jelly sweets, not the lolly, right?
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:24, archived)

Both!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:30, archived)

*Fruit Pastille two-and-a-halves*

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:31, archived)

it rather depends on your stance on spoons and the use of said items

(

mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:17, archived)

what about SPORKS!!! hahaha im so random

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:17, archived)

no way, i'm a traditional kind of guy, i may well write an award winning book about me and food i've consumed with a spoon

(

mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:19, archived)

B A R R Y !

(

Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

Further to this:
b3ta.com/talk/6182528 it seems Nick Grimshaw has got the gig. I can't say I'm overjoyed at the news.

Have an example of unfortunate headline/picture positioning: www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/3811.scan0001.jpg
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:19, archived)

Nick Grimshaw is the television/radio person I hate more than any other in the world.
I really, really, really, really fucking hate him.

He epitomises everythings that is wrong with that shitty indie culture.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:20, archived)

You hate him more than Fearne Coton?
Really?
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:23, archived)

I like Fearne

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:24, archived)

A lot more.
A LOT.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:25, archived)

And I'm delighted to see you admit your grumpiness.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:24, archived)

It's what the internet knows and loves me for.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:25, archived)

Ha ha, loves. Yeah.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:27, archived)

You love me,
don't you?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:29, archived)

It's more lust if I'm honest.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:30, archived)

What/s

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:21, archived)

What/s

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:21, archived)

What/s

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:21, archived)

Hahaha holy crap triple fail

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:21, archived)

Go on, fourth time lucky.
I'm dying to know what it's meant to be.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:23, archived)

What's Asian gold?

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:33, archived)

Not a clue.
Sorry.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:40, archived)

Skiddly wop-boop biddly diddly diddly WOOOOAAAH !
Carribean music in the sunshine FOR THE WIN !
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

oh

(

__, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

BBQ for me later.
Oh yes.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

I want a curry.
It's friday night, does that make it ok to have a curry?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:10, archived)

You sir, are a genius!
I want CURRY FOR DIN DINS TONIGHT. OH YES.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:12, archived)

I can't be fucked to cook, I'm hungry, I can afford it and it tastes good.
Is that enough reasons to justify it?

Otherwise it's tuna and pasta again :(
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:14, archived)

Pub then fish and chips for tea.
Exams finished today!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:14, archived)

easy spoon food

(

mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:17, archived)

I've started applying for MScs now,
one of which at Loughborough
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:18, archived)

too easy to eat with my spoon

(

mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:15, archived)

glub glub glub!
Chewing is for pussies!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:23, archived)

i could eat that with a spoon

(

mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:13, archived)

I AM GOING TO DO A BARBECUE
what goes on kebabs?
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

peppers, onions, prawns.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

beef, garlic, tomatoes

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

KITTENS

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

THEY HAVE GROWN UP NOW and would take HOURS to cook

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

cut them into smaller pieces and marinade in THE TEARS OF ORPHANS overnight

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

Courgettes, aubergine, eyes of small children, shallots...

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

COURGETTES win.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

Eat them and think of me.

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

BABIES

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

I skewer chicken, peppers, onion and mushrooms
squeeze a lime over this and then sprinkle piri piri spices on it.

it's FUCKING ACE.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

i do not like mushrooms. are they especially good barbecued? because if consensus is yes, i will try it.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

I dont like mushrooms either
I only put them on some of my kebabs which I then give to my wife and other people who may or may not be at my house for a BBQ

I could live without mushrooms.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

i will see if i can buy a small bnumber for experimental barbecue purposes.
if i can only buy a tub/tray, they can fuck right off.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:03, archived)

Mushrooms give you AIDS.

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:04, archived)

bad aids?

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:04, archived)

I'm not a big fan of this Piri Piri fad.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:01, archived)

Dog shit.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

The other day
I had lamb and pepper kebabs, with mint sauce. Absolute BLISS.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

i like scat!
shooby dooby wop wop yeah!
(

Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

That's a bit better.
When I go to St Lucia during our honeymoon I'm going to die. Bread and cheese plants though, hurrah.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

I remember St. Lucia in Primary school. I think I wrote a letter to one of the citizens. They didn't write back. Cunts.

(

__, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

they probably ate their pen
and sold their paper to buy a house.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

NOW THAT'S GOOD EATING

(

__, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

I did a project on it,
their biggest export is Bananans. FACT
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

Bananas, I think you'll find

(

__, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:01, archived)

no it's a funky pineapple/banana hybrid.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:05, archived)

Now all I can think of is my nan dressed as a banana.

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:05, archived)

ooooooh yeah, ooooooh, keep describing....

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 29 May 2009, 17:10, archived)

IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:11, archived)

Oh.

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

My mum and dad think St Lucia is the best place to go on holiday ever
I thought the Caribbean was a bit MEH to be honest.

A long way to go just to see some poor darkies. I could see that in London.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

We're going to see my partner's family.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:02, archived)

It's all cloudy here :(

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

i think i could could do away with my knives and forks and just eat using a spoon
i can't think of a food type it wouldn't work on
(

mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

noodles

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

Chips
you stupid fucking cunt.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

fuck off, chips would be a piece of piss

(

mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

you havent eaten a steak off my bbq....
you could hold it with a spoon but thats about it!
:)
(

Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

Sporks FTMFW

(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

I invented the spork in a DT project back in secondary school.
Was devastated when I watched an 80's school video of John Cleese three days later, and he was talking about a spork.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 29 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

Steak

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

you could grip it between two spoons and tear bits off LIKE A REAL MAN

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

exactly and i only eat raw kobe steaks anyhoo

(

mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:13, archived)

True.
steak, maybe not.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

Roast Beef
Spaghetti
Chicken breasts in white wine and kumquat sauce.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

Soup.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

invisible pizza

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:02, archived)

Just told my mate that altzhimers joke from the newsletter.
Then told him it again ten mins later... rofl
(

rjmrjm, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

three in a row

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

NO WAY!
FUUUUUUUUCK
(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

roflroflroflroflroflroflroflroflrforflfloor

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

oh.

(

__, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

It's funny because it's true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 29 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

Is there anything more depressing
than having a dull wank?
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 29 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

a dull wanker,
I'm talking about you if you didn't get that, you dull wanker.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6184612
(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

Well obviously you meant me.
That doesn't make me feel better about the wank, though.

(By which I also mean me.:( )
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 29 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

hubare completed the quiz "What Type Of Shit Are You?"
with the result "The phantom one that disappears up the U-bend and requires no wiping".

I'm currently enjoying the sunshine in Sunny Belfast... although it requires me to run as I chase the thin gap in the cloud...

lollypops, not really!!! I'm at my PC!

If you were a poo, what poo would you be? would you be in paul's bathroom?
(likeajackhammer, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

what in the love of all that is good, brought you to belfast?
Glorious day though, innit.
(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

JMG needed to claim his dole too

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

a wimmin

(likeajackhammer, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

A smooth long one that does'nt sting whilst exiting

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:39, archived)

ahh... the "cable"
one that would require you to shuffle forward as you go?
(likeajackhammer, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

jesus that's a really good question
what am i saying, no it's not it's rubbish, new thread please
(

mongychops, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

I just wanted people to notice me :(
I'm like the waterboy
(likeajackhammer, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:43, archived)

poontang

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

I just had a Calippo at my desk. :)

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

Litte rabbit pellets that leave nothing behind but a pristine bottypiece.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

The depth charge
makes a huge noise and splashes your arse.
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

you're not even trying anymore

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

I know...
I feel like Eminem
(likeajackhammer, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

A drain blocker.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 29 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

Jesus fucking christ internet

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

this,
you still coming tomorrow?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

Only if you promise to be there

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

I will be there with bells on,

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

Then I will be too
looking forward to it mightily

WHAT JAPES
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

omg gazzed you

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

BACK GUYS!
Basically hid myself from b3ta the last two days so I could finish a 3,500 word essay.

How the FUCK are all you guys?
(

__, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

so relived you're back
edit: baroness posted a picture of you earlier
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6184063
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

That's not even slightly funny

(

__, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

represents you perfectly then

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

pwnt

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

I'm fucking hilarious

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

Oh dude
she looks like ALL of the women who work at the London Dungeon.

Seriously, if you're hot for fat Goth chicks in horror make up and 18 hole DM boots, London Bridge is where it's at.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

i suspect by the name badge
that she's affiliated with some sort of establishment of that ilk
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

I reckon she just likes taking it up the shitter

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

this

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

Was he headbutting a boat in it?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

Why did you need to hide yourself?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

Too much of a distraction.

(

__, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

Aw, you love us too much :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

:D

(

__, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

Oh, great, you're back.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

YAY

(

__, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

I was trying to work out why the subject line was 'BLACK GUYS'
*rubs eyes*
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

Because you're a racist, innt.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

This

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

AberACISTdeen

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

*high-fives*

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

i've been cheating on the professor layton game.
which is pretty sad.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

Is there any sort of website which has all the puzzles from that game, but no answers?

(

__, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

fuck, you're back

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

I'm back from GMOS DAY ADVENTURE #1
I threw myself downhill at 20 mph and beyond whilst wearing lycra!

what do you do? SEXILY?
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU MASSIVE PHEASANT EXCEPT IN A GOOD WAY
I do everything sexily.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

WIN!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

Hurt yourself?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

nope, the ground saw nothing other than a blur
and some of my urine when I needed a wee before the jumps section
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

Be still my beating heart.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

Makes you want to disguise yourself as a bush
and get showered in all that sexy wee.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

You are FULL of good ideas.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

And wee
*winks sexily*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

There was a chap drinking it on the telly last night.
Also a lady who had been for years. She did not look bad for 60.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

I cant help but feel
that these facts might be unrelated.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

Not according to her
or to his wife, who later commented on how nice his skin was looking (before he said he'd been drinking his own piss)
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

To be fair
I dont have a single wrinkle on my glans.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

Well there you go then.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

fuck-all

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

i am a massive lump of turnoff.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

*rubs thighs in excitement*

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

Everything I do is sexy.

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

Although not as sexy as me...
How're the wedding preparations going?
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

Maybe.
They are going ok thank you. Tasting for the wedding "breakfast" has been booked, so we get to eat lots of nice food. And a photographer has finally been chosen too.

All well with yourself?
(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

20mph ?
You lavender scented nancy great mary queen.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

AND BEYOND!

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

Lycra ?
I hope this Lycra was worn beneath something loose fitting and baggy ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

no :(

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

Dude that is gay
Everyone would have assumed you were a roadie who couldnt map read.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

I'm half of that statement

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

Never mind
It's legal to be in the gays nowadays.

I hear some of them live long and productive lives.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

He probably rides a motorbike.

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

Motorbike/road bike
It's all part of the same fetid pit of bums and cocks.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

Cor!
I have a sexy look, apparently.
Also, I'm told that I talk sexily.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

two power wins

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

YES
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

happy birthday
i do *this*
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

LETS DOUBLE DICK!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

Dunno, not much, to be fair.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

I think you clutch a bottle of buckfast
in a very fetching manner.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

I do love a good sup of Buckie.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

You've got some amazing eyes.
But then you know that. This'll probably come over all wrong.

I'll be quiet.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

ARGH GET AWAY FROM ME INTERNET LESBIAN:(((((((

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

Horrible and mean.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

Nah, I'd probably let you have a go on them if I was pissed enough.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

Score.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

a go on your eyes?

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

I'm going to ladyjizz all over them.
She'll look like she's got conjunctivitis by the time I'm finished.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

Yep.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

Cunnilingus

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

Sounds like a cunning scotsman

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

I reckon if I had a good run-up and a decent pair of boots on I could probably kick a chihuahua inside out

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

I think I'd start of by slapping it.
I'd like to give it the impression it had a chance before really belting it one in the head, then throwing it at a fence.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

YES!
worth a try
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

Motorbikes: Rip-roaring fun or transportation for soon to be organ doners?
I see them tearing down the road out my office window all the time and i wonder.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

BLENGGG!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

Motorbikes are cool, I would have one if a bass amp would fit on the back

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

~~cool~~ gay
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

I bet you've got side mirrors instead of ears and a petrol tank on your back

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

I wouldn't ride one.

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

Would you ride three?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

At a push I reckon I could ride three.
Two would be more comfortable. One strapped to each foot so I could be on like giant motorised roller skates.
(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

Blades surely?
Wearing Minis on your feet would be skates...
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

Pedant.
Yes.
(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

The first.
A lot of the WOOHOOOOO sort of fun I've had in my life has been astride an iron horse.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

Surely a powerful vibrator would have given you much the same effect
for far less risk and cost ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

Apart from the whole travelling thing.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

You could use it on the bus

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

I'm not getting my flaps out near those filthy seats.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

Take a picnic blanket with you
are your flaps really that massive and pendulous ?

Like a Great Danes Jowells ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Like ym's bingo wings.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Like two leather capes, sewn together

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

Stick a leaf blower up my fanny and you could
use me like a rudimentary hovercraft.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

I've heard you trapped a queef in them once
and used them as a space hopper for a week.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

Nooo, that was a haemorrhoid.
You could be forgiven for making that mistake though, the pulsating veins look similar.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

Isnt it better now we dont fight ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

I get weird around my period.
Very stereotypically insane.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

Hurrah
Periods are shit, they are the only justification for being a bumsexual and/or Gerontophile.

actually by that reasoning, they could justify being a peado but let's not go there.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

not long till I stop having them, hopefully
my family's menopauses have been getting progressively earlier with each generation.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

TOOMUCHINFORMATION LOL !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

Fuck you.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

'Iron Horse' is the brand of your 17" dildo nobbler

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

Unlike the girls you've obviously been diddling with, DG
The idea of that scares me rigid.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

It scares me rigid too love
gives me a right Scaredy-On.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

Interesting reaction...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

Never shout at me loudly otherwise I'll only embarrass myself and have to walk like a hunchback for 5 minutes until I calm down

And p.s. Oi! I only dibble nice girls, no cave-twatting for me thanks!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Well I AM a nice girl
don't you oi me, you started the aspersion casting first.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

You are clearly the NICEST PERSON ON TALK

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

Nicer than YOU.
(also, of course that's Fluzzy)
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

Dude
even Mykey is nicer than me.

I'm horrible.

You might as well have said you were more humanitarian than Josef Fritzl.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

You're funny, though
so cuntery is all good.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

AT LAST
I finally get you to admit it.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

Well if you will insist on asking on the wrong day
when I'm doing my ape keeper work experience in the Gilgamesh cage.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

:(

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

*dibbles*
Did I? *looks up 4 replies* ...oh...carry on :D
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

See? Git.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

Motorbikes are for gays
They make you dress up in leather like gays.

They are gay. Motorbikes are totally gay.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

I had forgotten just how gay they are...
Good point
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

There's a few types of gay biker :
Mid life Crisis Harley - Gay
Power Ranger Sportsbike - Gayer than a shitty cock
Hairy arsed hells angel wannabe - Bears

The sorts of bikers who arent gay :

Shitty fucking chav cunts on scooters - worse than being gay
Old farts who never ride more than 20mph on their bike - Repressed, still in the closet gay
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

What about the women?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Fag hags

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

Sour puss, grumpy face.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

Goldwing?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

Mid life crisis
same thing

Though they are imagining they are Liberace.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

JMG had posted.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

your posts bring on a deep hard pondering, apparently!

(likeajackhammer, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

There's a Harley Davidson showroom down the road,
I'm always tempted to pop in and have a look every time I go past.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

I want a
tuk tuk
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

*tucks you into bed*
better?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

I want to eat at Tuk Tuk.
I could murder a bowl of laksa right now.

Mmmmmmm
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 29 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

Looks like something I've thrown up
What is it?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

FUNFUNFUN
though i wouldn't want to ride one in london
avg 18 months before serious accident/death
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

why can't they be both?
nothing thrills me quite like the fear of losing a kidney
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

+ how many hamburgers I can eat in one sitting

(likeajackhammer, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

JMG.
I think if I was going to be television, I'd be Jack Bauer.
I think we're very alike.

Who are you?
I may assign characters, as I see fit. Or I might not, I dunno.
It's GMoS Day!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

I'd be Victor Meldrew

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

A sexy Victor Meldrew

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Victor Melphew!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Wizbit

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

Or Bear Grylls (or however you spell it)

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

It's spelled
N O E L E D M U N D S
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

You're Noel Edmunds.

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

If I am
you are Mr Blobby
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

Ok.

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

cancer

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

14 wasn't that great
Who was the mystery guest, Dave the Hat ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

Dave the fucking Hat.

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Dave "Who did a shit in this" Fucking Hat

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

Dave "I'm going to look really natty and the girls will all love me in... wait a minute who did a shit in this" Fucking Hat

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Dave "Fuck me my Mrs is uglier than baldmonkey" the Hat

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

I'd like to kill a Chihauhau in man to dog combat.
What animal would you, JMG, like to kill ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

I'd like to wrestle a bear to the ground.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

Tonight JMG I am going to be
Rallying Legend Roger Clark
(

M o D, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

*Standing ovation*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

*left foot breaking*
*swedish flick*
*power slides over the line*
(

M o D, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

Jack Bauer looks like Keith Chegwin.
Do you look like Keith Chegwin?

I'd be nobody.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

In the nod

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

bo d
(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

I want to know which character you'd assign me Jammy
Cher isn't really a TV star btw...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

I don't understand the Cher link.
But then again, I am at times VERY MUCH out of the loop.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

Horatio Caine.
I'd like to be Marcus Brigstocke.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

I'd like to be Jim Saville
I'd like to run marathons, live in a caravan, smoke wherever I fucking want and touch children in an inappropriate manner.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

There's nothing really stopping you from doing that now...

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

The man who reads only the most serious news.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Probably
her
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

I'd settle for being a young Felicity Kendall
and stay in bed all day, frotting my flue with a cucumber I've affectionately named "Margot"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

bernard from 'Black Books'

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

"It's not the same without GMOS"
what do you shout at the point of orgasm ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

i never shout.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

sometimes i squeal.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

and with the bit where i said "never" i excluded myself from talking exclusively about sex

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

Eh?

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

by never i meant "never".
not "never during orgasm", just "never ever"

so when i said "i sometimes squeal" i was not referring to sex.

do you see?
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

you can't back up now binky

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

BACK UP hey?

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

I see now.
Thank you for clarifying.
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

i wasn't very clear the first time through.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

like a boar

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

yeah and grunt.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

shields up

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

Hahahaha!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

I love it when sex ends in hysterical laughter...

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

Sex should contain laughter.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

yeah I know
I was making a self depricating comment about my sexual performance.
Stupid
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

I bet you're amazing, Chompy.
I bet they cry tears of joy.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

when I leave perhaps

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

Fair point
you are a rapist after all.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

It's part of my Machismo

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

hahahaahahaha

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

15 days!!!!!!!!!!!!

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

haha
i'm guessing True Blood?
i can't wait
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 15:28, archived)

soooo fucking excited!
How's the writing??
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

oh ok
i went for a holiday (to concentrate on it) but ended up doing pretty much everything to avoid it
i'm back into it now though

how about yours?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

oooooooh holiday? where did you go?
I'm doing everything to avoid as well. Bad, bad, bad.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

Fuerteventura for two weeks
rode camels horses climbed volcanoes.. even did kite surfing and scuba diving
it was dead cheap and bloody hot
well recommended
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

arf!

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

BRING ME PETER PAN

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

RUFIOOOOOOOOOO

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

basically anything from the movie Hook

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

go suck on a dead dog's tail!

(likeajackhammer, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

YOU MAN YOU STUPID STUPID MAN

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

Nothing distinct.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

Thats an interesting thing to shout
I'm only back for a few minutes, just been to see that little cottage, fantastic location, shit size and way overpriced for what it has.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

Ah noooo
No, I just scream/squeal/the usual.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

I'm just going to nod politely
*nods politely*
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

OH RIGHT
so when Binky says it it's alright?!
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

Binky who?
Dont worry.

I'm like Sheldon but less intelligent and not as good looking. I completely missed the top of this thread.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

I love Sheldon.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

:D
I was just saying that I completely miss the point on 95% of life. Binky's comments damaged my fragile psyche as much as yours when I had read them, but I was too busy picking up my monocle :D
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

what's an orgasm?

(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

I just walked 20 minutes to see if a lecture was on or not.
It wasn't, but at least I had a nice walk.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

did you get an icecream?

(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

No,
but I do have a packet of chipsticks.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

*ponders*
ok, that's good eating for sunny days.
(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

Tea. Earl Grey. Hot

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

I love Jean-Luc

(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

Haha, laydees is not replicators

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

My mate Danny was having a threesome
and one of the guys shouted

'I'M CUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMING!!!!!!'

Danny had to leave the room as he was laughing so much (Danny is a homosexual)
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

Who was the third man?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

You were the third man, weren't you?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

FUCKING HELL, FUCKING HELL
NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

NOT THE BEARD!
/Gimli
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

I don't have a beard anymore
so HA jokes on you
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

And you're well cute without it.
*runs*
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

:(
Shut up. I've been called that twice today. By the same person. I think you might all be winning. Wearing me down, like an overused clitoris.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

Like YOUR overused clitoris.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

Like YOUR MUM's overused clitoris

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:28, archived)

an my swollen, distended,
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

That too
probably
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

ewww!

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

Yep.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

The first duty of every Star fleet officer is to the TRUTH

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

Either that or I quote Hamlet
badly
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

Alias prove yorvik?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

ding ding ding it's the milkman

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spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

not in the arse

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

~~not~~ only
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Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

beat it out the frame

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

SEMEN. INCOMING.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:28, archived)

RRRRRIKES, RRRAGGY!

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Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

Like, wow, Scoob.

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Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

oh that's wrong
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Oh, my, sorry about that.

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

"If you go to the police, I'll come back"

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Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEE

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

haha

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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL

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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

IT'S FUN TO BE A CARE BEAR !

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Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

CAN'T READ MY, CAN'T READ MY, NO SHE CAN'T READ MY POKE HER FACE !

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Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!

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The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

WOOOP WOOOOOOOP WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

CLANG CLANG CLANG GOES THE TROLLEY

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

DAD

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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

+ See, just cause I'm ugly doesnt make me a bad shag !

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Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Ha ha ha

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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Holy Christ, you are Irish.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

teh words
www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue380/
(

rob, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

I hope it's GMoS related.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

if it's not
there will be sweaty fists slammed against keyboards, hurling pie crumbs 3ft into the air.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

when you write it like that
I see it as personals abbreviations - like GSOH.
(

rob, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

BOFH

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Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

No-one in the world knows what that means.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

Bastard Operator From Hell

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SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

I do
because I'm old
(

rob, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

well someone freaking tell the rest of us then!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

some text based comedy from internets yore
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastard_Operator_From_Hell
(

rob, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

that's the sound you make when getting a cock in the mouth

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

More like 'ungh' for me

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Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

Don't for get the 'Pooooooooing...PATTWANG!' too

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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

Ey?

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

No silly, 'Ey?' is what the guy says...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

GOSH! She's Obviously Hairy

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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

I like this one better!

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

is he avoiding this place today?
i want to give him some gmos day admiration
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

NEWSLETTER

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

My pet hate is thus:
People that give their mates nicknames by adding a 'y' to the end of their sirname. "Oi! SMITHY! it's me, PRICEY!!"
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

shut it, gumsy

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

I BARK AT YOUR EYES FROM 3 FOOT AWAY.

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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

would you prefer... boxy?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

And you, Pauly

/Gets called Pauly far too much.
(

OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

You do realise, you should twat anyone that calls you Pauly.

(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

Is that right Potty?
Edit : *moose-glomps*
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The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

woot!
Haven't had moose-glomps for ages!

*jen-glomps*
(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

this happens to me too
well not being called Pauly, that would be silly.

People normally call me jen, then occasionally I get called Jenny. It doesn't make them a twat...... actually I have no idea where this is going. So I shall shut up now.
(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

You are Potsy from Happy Days
AICMFP
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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

oh shit...... that's what I'm getting called next time I come to visit.
;o)
(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

a friend of mine calls me something far more annoying from time to time
but i don't twat her because she's lovely
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

dolt?

(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

rargh
bum off
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manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

I think the world has forgotten the art of a good nickname
My dad knows people called Kippers, and Flap, and Crunch, and Day, and Big Rob. Best we had at school was a guy who we called Damon because he looked like Damon Hill. Or the guy we called Jurgen, because he looked a bit Germanic. Otherwise, we usually just took the last name and added a Y if it sounded right. Or, the old classic fallback of just calling people by their first name.
(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

COME ON BARRY!

(

emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

My inter-JUSTICE made it in there.
Hope he gets his $600.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

Know some of you guys are turning up so I thought I'd pop this here
If you're staying at my place we'll have everything ready for you by 11am. Last year people either went down the pub or gave me a hand getting barbeque ready.
WIFI is throughout the building and brekkie is included and will be served in the garden on Sunday morning as it's meant to be a spectacular day.
Barbie starts at roughly, about exactly 1 or 2 ish. Sadly I can't take everyone so it's those who are staying and those who I've already talked to.
If you're staying and need directions from Earls Court station gizzussa gaz.
The bash, official, starts at 5pm in the function room of Oneills at the very end of Earls Court Road (turn right at the Earls Court Road station exit and it's five minutes down the road).
The downstairs bar will be open, but you'll not be able to get into the function room upstairs until 5pm.

If you haven't put your name down you can do so here. The venue's maximum capacity is 100. We have room and people cancel. So please do feel free to turn up.
(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

It's going to be brilliant. Everyone should come.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I'm busy

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

+t
*jiggles*
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Busy into busty is best of all teh typos

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Oooh yes.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

I'm going to come,
not sure what time i'll rock up though,
got to watch the football first.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

That's right I said "rock up"
I'm that street.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

~~street~~ Australian
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

I met an australian,
I suggested that she was decended from rapists, she took it well.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

I really wish I could come.
Bloody finals.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 29 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

At least they'll be over soon...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

*fucks off to the beach*

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Pay for my train ticket and buy me booze and I shall attend.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

I'd buy you a drink
and provide soft drugs. But I can't do your ticket too.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

JUST SAY NO !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

*Zammo*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

I will buy you two drinks of a maximum cost of £6.50
start walking
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

I can't go.
I'm sure I'll be dreadfully missed.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

You will, I quite wanted to meet you.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

^this!

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

I think DSOTS ws on about going
However, we don't need places to kip. I live on the District line and he's going clubbing
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

I'll hopefully be there
but I won't be able to drink much due to being skint this month.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

I'll buy you one
Seeing as RWH is buying me one!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

That would be lovely, thank you
but you need only do so if you feel sexually attracted to me.

So no drinks for me tomorrow.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

You had to go and spoil it, didn't you
YOU COULD HAVE GOT A FREE DRINK, NO QUESTIONS ASKED, AND YOU TWAT IT UP. WELL DONE.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

Hehehe
I'm fine going the evening without a drink tbh.
Also: put your username back. I didn't know who I was accepting a drink from which is why I was being a little standoffish.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

There. are you happy now?
GAWD
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

THANK YOU! :)

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

Can you rearrange it for next weekend?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

Excellent, which room is mine?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

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