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Half an hour in the sunshine
and about a billion new freckles all over my face.

Where do you wish you were right now? I'd sooner be at the seaside, frolicking in the sea and not playing volley ball.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

Ooooh, yes, seaside please.
Or Amsterdam. Or home. Or up Coombe Hill.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

I love the seaside
but live too far away from it. BOO
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

I live very far inland. It's fucking shit, BS.
If I ever buy a little domicile by the sea you can borrow it when I'm not in it.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

Coombe HIll
near(ish) High Wycombe?
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

Yes
although the less said about Wycombe the better.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

But West Wycombe is lovely
Especially the caves on a hot day
(

M o D, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

West Wycombe is
however town centre and most places around it are shit. Trust me, I lived in Holmer Green for almost a year and a half, and was always in Wycombe.

Know how shit it is? I live in Aylesbury and PREFER it.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

Yes I know how shit the main part is ;)
Genuine office laughter at the Aylesbury comment (:
(

M o D, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

If you know it, you know it :D

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

this is true
I moved to Devon some time ago. Recently discovered that where I lived (Hughenden Valley) is regarded in the same way as the Welsh valleys. Horrible.

I have fond memories of Coombe Hill though
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

inside YOU

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

You silver tongued charmer.
Or do you mean sheltering in my bloated carcass?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

I meant HAVING SEX WITH YOU

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

But you hate me.
That would never work...
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Inside Wormulus

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

Inside PsychoChomp

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

Inside Flapjack

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

Inside Wormulus

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

I'm exactly where I want to be.
Home, windows and doors open, kids playing in the paddling pool with squeals and laughs, bar of chocolate and a lovely cup of coffee.
(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

How old are your kids?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

5 and nearly 9
:oD They're aces.
(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Should they not be in school?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

OH SHIT, YEAH! FUCK I FORGOT TO TAKE THEM TO SCHOOL. I'M SUCH A TERRIBLE MOTHER!
no, it's half term ;o)
(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

I wasn't accusing...
It isn't half term up here.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I'd probably go for the seaside too.
But near somewhere serving drinks and food.
edit: sorry, I mean having sex with other b3tans.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

Far far away from supermat

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

Not gonna happen

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

Half way up a mountain somewhere.

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

in the park, reading and swimming

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

won't your book get soggy?

(

jenpots, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

Perhaps I can pay someone to read it to me.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

At the beach, yes please
With a nice cocktail.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

Mojito?

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

If you're offering

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

grossito

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

~~tail~~
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

I must say, I'm surprised that you of all people did that...

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

On a rollercoaster.
I'm up for a thrill.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

You'll find your thrill on blueberry hill

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Laying under my car covered in oil
whilst carefully massaging bits of floor to fit an exhaust
(

M o D, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

Kinky.

(tacpprm has a mmrpcat, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

I'm certainly knocking one out

A kink that is
(

M o D, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

Rob's asked /offtopic for the Newsletter subjectline
we can do better than them right?

edit: obviously not, it's a sad day.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

They'll try harder.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

Probably but they have half the wit.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

DOCTOR WHO News
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8073734.stm

Ohhhh she's pretty!
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

shittest subject line ever

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

I remember her from the Pompeii episode.
She seemed quite good.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

I recognise her too from that
I am looking forward to the new series now.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

I have never watched an episode of Dr.Who.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

I've had her
at least twice
(flipper is going to die in a bizarre gardenning accident, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

oh lawd

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

If I say yes do I have to think of one
Or can I just say yes on behalf of you guys?

If so... yes
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

read that back to yourself

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

I don't want to
I'm sure it makes no sense.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

GMoS Day is going excellently.
I really think the message set out by attractive internet is making serious inroads in to miserable and ugly internet.
How are you celebrating?
I've personally got /board in a fluster.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

I need to go to WILKINSONS to buy BOXES
to put my BELONGINGS in incase they need to go into STORAGE.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

After your mysterious disappearance?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:19, archived)

Well, I'll put them in storage just before my mysterious disappearance.
Got to do things in the correct order.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:20, archived)

Have you made a time machine
like in Primer,

/fairly obscure film references make me cool
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

Ooh, do they do cheap ones?
I need one for my college crap.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:32, archived)

the big plastic tubs were quite cheap last time I looked,

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

Cool.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

Why isn't every day GMoS Day?

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

Then it wouldn't be special anymore

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

Sunday's the day of rest.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

I am greeting strangers in the street by shaking their hand and asking "GMOS?"
Then giving them a double-gun and wink and saying "GMOS!"
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

Oh that's top form, right there!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

I've shaved GMoS into my chest hair

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

i've never wanted you more

(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

If I pearoast some stuff they'll get mightily annoyed.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

Put it in other threads.
GMoS Day is a day for friendship and chasing ugly people out of Tesco and the like.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

lololo
www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/lullz.jpg
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

lolololol
www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/round5.jpg
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

OH 90NZ0!
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

PODDIGE!

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

hubba hubba
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8073734.stm
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

I think I'll be watching Dr Who on mute with one eye closed (so I can't see the doctor himself)

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

I hope they don't cast her as a cock-a-ney guv'nor

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

I'm going to watch Dr Who from another room so I can pretend Christopher Eccleston is still the Doctor.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

Obviously she's very attractive, but she's also ginger which means she isn't attractive at all.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

I will bookmark this for an argument we may or may not have in 2 years time and use it against you.

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

I find the right shade of red/ginger to be extremely hot
and that is HOT
(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

I've had her
at least twice.
(flipper is going to die in a bizarre gardenning accident, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

Down at the bottom of the garden?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

lived the poddington peas?

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

I hope you die
in a very nice way, obviously.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

I will.
My two preferred methods are being smothered under the belly flap of a gigantic penguin, or being sucked to death by Dracula's lesbian vampire cohorts.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

Let's hope you don't get smothered under the belly flap of a gigantic LARPing lesbian vampire

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

Oh boy.
Now I have three preferred methods.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:19, archived)

Dare ye gaze upon a vision of your doom?
DOOM
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

You've let yourself go.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

is that friz?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

CUNTCHY NU CONFAKES

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

DID SOMEBODY SAY 'WEE-A-BIK'?

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

KIRSTY CUSTARD.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

DIGGY DIGGY DUSTARD

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:19, archived)

Just: this.
www.bakonvodka.com/
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Good lord
What the fuck?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

.. Some fucking cunt came on b3ta and stole my idea.
I definitely came up with that a few weeks ag o
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6164544
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

Why would you want to ruin the vodka?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

Vokda isn't that great.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

You really are shit.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

I didn't say vodka was bad.
It's a nothing drink.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Only if you drink crap vodka

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

No,
if anything, the crapper the vodka the more it doesn't taste of nothing.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

What do you think is a good drink?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

Jagermeister.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

Vodka is ace
And even if something "isn't that great" why would you make it shit?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

too bad the copyright was registered in 2008 then

(

Lightguy hail satan, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

That just shows that it's such a good idea that they used time travel to secure the copyright.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 29 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

I call fake

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

That's because you can't handle reality.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

DEEP MAAAAN!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

I hope so!

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

Not a fake. I know a guy who made some himself.
His first batch went rancid. No surprise there, really. His second lot apparently tasted pretty good. God knows if its true as I wasn't going to try it.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 29 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

FUCK NO

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

What's not to like?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

More ways to get fat :(

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

Dear Jesus
:(
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

sweet jesus.
today truly is a beautiful day.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

NO UK SUPPLIERS
WHYYYYYY
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

Try it with
this
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

/QOTW or /BOARD ?
Which is second best after /talk, for you?
Do you prefer laughing at the liars, or do you enjoy colouring in?

This may decide where I head next, today.

/BOARD IT IS, THEN.
It's, WORLD GMoS DAY. www.b3ta.com/board/9479045
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

I suppose I prefer colouring in.
I rarely visit The Liars Board, except for when somebody links to some inane exaggerated drivel on it from here.
(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

/board.
I like making people into zombies, and I have a lot of friends there. In fact, three of my closest friends are /boarders.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

You like making people into zombies?
Are you Mr. Lordi? Thats all he seems to do in his videos.
(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

No, he's better at it
I do this:

Monica Belucci: img.photobucket.com/albums/v34/bad_lady/monicaaaargh.jpg

Me: img.photobucket.com/albums/v34/bad_lady/fffff.jpg
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

Good stuff.

(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

make me into a zombie
i'll be waiting forever for happytoast to do his one :(
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

Send me a big hi-res image.
Right, I'm off out to lunch.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

will do when i get home!
/chuffed
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

See you later captain
Well maybe not since I'm off home in a minute to look at houses.
If I don't see you today I'll see you at the bash unless I'm killed in some horrific Final Destination style train crash, in which case I'll make sure to become a zombie and still turn up at the bash!
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

/board is more fun
people get pretty darm wound up there.

However /qotw is often full of hilarious liars.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

/board
no question
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

/board
I quite like /links too though
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

/faq
It's defo more fun then QOTW.
(

NeeNoo, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

/links
but then I just visit the popular page there about twice a week, which is more than I can say for the rest.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

/board
sometimes good for a browse

qotw is ridiculous
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

second best? no no no...
/board first, /talk last

don't worry, i hate myself
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

It's hard to say
/board probably. QOTW mainly involves moaning.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:08, archived)

*dances around the GMoS pole*

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

He's very much the current figure of pop culture.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Hello Fatties. JMG etc.
Who'd like to open things with some well thought out debate?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

JMG, make my hair long like this again:
i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/CaptainPillowCase/DSCF1079.jpg

Man I miss buckfast.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

You're certainly fondling that bottle
with some fondness.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

It was loooovely.
Only out of the brown bottle, though, not the green ones.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

I'm no fan of those piercings.
That's my view on piercings, there.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

That's long gone, as is my nose stud.
I've stopped stretching my ears aswell, it's too much of a pain in the arse.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

aww

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

I know, it's too annoying, though:(
I still have my lovely tragus:) I want my rudey bits done.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

ooh matron! what flavour of rudey piercing?
I think it'll be a scaffold if any other piercing for me. Lots of tattoo ideas mind.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

No rudey piercings for me, thanks.
It was bad enough getting my nipple done.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

not a fan of pierced ladybits
it's just not right, dangit!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

I don't have any piercings now except one in each ear that I put an earring in each for one hour a week
in case I want to wear earrings when I am looking posh.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

I didn't have earrings in for about three years, and they stayed open.
I can get the second holes open aswell, but the third is gone for good.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

OO-ER MAGGIE!

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

ear stretching: you're doing it wrong

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

haha

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

*Tugs at your head*
mine grows too fast.

and my hair too, fnar fnar...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

Lolololol
Mine does grow ridiculously fast, but not fast enough to get it that long quickly:(
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

Mine was too long before christmas, was past my shoulder blades. Keep it quite short now, looks better that way and I get less wolf whistles.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

You have nice hair.
Few boys can get away with long hair.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

fankoo :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

i don't know if i can
but i like my long hair, everyone else can go jump in a lake
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

Ooh lovely long hair.
My hair has never been that long. It's doing my head in a bit actually at the moment. I'm *this* close to O'Connoring the whole bastard lot.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

Haha, I get like that.
Stupid hair.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

HOW MAN, GIRLS ARE RUBBISH AT FOOTBALL !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

That's incredibly sexist and no doubt, my fault.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

HOW MAN, INDIANS CANT DRIVE VERY WELL

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

*is shocked*

(

Jobe, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

Would you rather be a woman/ man for the day or get £800

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

MAN FOR THE DAY!
I'd end up on the register though.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

this
I'd be getting my willy out all over the place.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

welcome to my world *stands in superhero outfit*
for I am...THE NOB TOUCHER!!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

I'd wee in a doorway
And walk around all day telling people to lick my balls.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

I'd pay £800 to be a woman for a day.
£800 is a shit sum of money.

Make it £8,000 and it starts to become a quandry.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

£800.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

Dole

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

Not today, DG.
You won't believe the dabloons sat next to my keyboard, here.
When folk come over I like to fan myself with it.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

Be a man for the day.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

I would rather be a man for the day

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

to dreeeam... the impossible dream!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

I would like to be a man for a day
rather than the soft office worker I have become.
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

Every day, does a very large part of you die forever?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

You jest
but yes, yes it does
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

I jest not, I foolishly decided to delve once again into 9-5 world last year
It was very bad, I'd forgotten how bad.

You have my sympathies sir.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

a woman
i'd do a bank job, lie low for a few hours, then kerching! much more than £800, and it'd be impossible to identify me
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

i'd pay more to be a buffalo for a day

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

yes
The Netherlands is closing lots of prisons because of lack of prisoners. Is this directly related to them legalising cannabis? Does it mean that there is less actual crime, or people are just not getting arrested for smoking a bit of weed and having a chill out? Have things like mugging, petty crime gone down too?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

But the stats on theft of doritos are sky high

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

JMG's no drugsman, but it's nice to see people not being in prison.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

Are they really?
That's incredible. Britains prisons are overflowing and more are being built. Perhaps we could send them to prisons in the Netherlands as they have capacity.
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

They already have a deal with Belgium, I was reading
to accept some of their prisoners.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

The government must be told.
Somebody phone Gordon Brown..and call him a cunt
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

I'd volunteer for dutch prison
IT SHOUNDS SHEXIEFUN YES?
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

Yesh, velcome to prishon
please, have a shmoke and a pancake
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

Britian's prisons are overflowing because they keep making more laws against people doing victimless things.

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

Really?

(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

I have no evidence to back this up
but the sheer number of criminal offences introduced under the labour government is ridiculous.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

Britain's prisons are overflowing because people insist that locking people away for a long time
is the only way to rehabilitate them, when there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that this the case.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

It's not about rehabitation
It's about revenge,retribution,keeping them off the streets
(

CanonCaliber A big bore, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

death sentence for everything, I say

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

I, JMG, for one, miss the football now that it's over
as I won a tidy one hundred and three pounds and 88 pence sterling last weekend from a five pound sterling bet.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

TOON DOON

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

Why?
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

There's still the FA Cup final.
And some England internationals.
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

I made my money by betting on accumulators
ie. Five pound on Chelsea, Arsenal, Man Utd, Liverpool, West Ham, when they were playing shit teams.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

Pop a sneaky accumulator on the internationals. There's more than just England.

(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

Hmm. We'll see.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

Why do offices provide free tea and coffee facilities
but if you want a ribena, you have to go out and get it yourself?
(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

This is exactly the problem with society in general, Matt
Why do somethings cost more than other things? What's that all about?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

they don't expect to be employing preschool children.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

my brother used to call it "beena"
it was sooo cute
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

I HEAR YOU!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

I have never got this
when I was PA and I would get one of my lackys to prepare refreshments for customers I always provided usual tea coffee, but also I had a few cartons of juice and some herbal teas on offer too. I have always wondered if it was just me who did this as I've never seen it anywhere else.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

we've got herbal tea and water too
occasionally biccies if you're lucky.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

water eh?
have you got any of those fancy new-fangled taps I've been hearing so much about lately?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

water cooler water, I mean.
from a tap somewhere else, most likely.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

When I'm struggling to get a poo out
I say (In my head) "Get aht, get aht, you slaaaag" like a cockney hard man ejectng someone from his pub.

Make of that what you will.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

It passes the time, sure.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

I choose to make it into an admission of homosexuality on your part.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

I hear pies have that effect on a man.

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

At the very moment of climax I shout THAT'S A BRUCEY BONUS

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

I bet you dont
you yelp like Yvette Feilding when she thinks she's seen a ghost.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

~~Yvette Fielding~~ Des'ree
(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

Rather have a piece of toast?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

women can climax?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

well now i've heard EVERYTHING

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

Only if you put your thumb
right up their arse and lick their ears.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

you've been watching me, you bastard

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

IF ITS UP THERE, I'LL GIVE YOU THE MONEY MYSELF

(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

haha
winnar!
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

~~THAT'S A BRUCEY BONUS~~ CLICK F5
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

Awesome.

(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6183700
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

No I haven't, goddamnit.
Mind you, the postie hasn't been yet.
(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

i had to wait 3 weeks for one recently :(

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

I push my head down with my hands into my neck and that pushes it out like a Mop Top Playdoh barber shop.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

I wonder
if you could poo into one of those little barber shop men and give them a head of poo tentacles.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

MOTHERFUCKER.
I've finished my first year of university.

Who wants to party like it's 1992?
(

WHARRGARBL, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

I was....7/8
Jelly, ice cream, and standing on the opposite side of the room from the boys, please.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

Hell's teeth...

(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

What?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

I was 24, finished with formal education and running my own business...
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

Hahahahahaha

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

When you were 24 you were riding a Penny Farthing and you could rent a chimney boy for a thruppence a month!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

you WERE that chimney boy, right?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

He used a 'special' brush on my chimney :(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

there there, dg.
you were probably gagging for it.
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

I gave him the 'fuck me' look...
I was bosseyed.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

it was that revealing pair of dungarees
and the 'covered in soot' look that you were rocking
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

I'm 24 now.
If it helps, at 24 you were far more successful than I am.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

Now THAT'S what he wanted to hear.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

Sarcasm? Why?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

No sarcasm there,
I think it was one of those 'jokes' that only I understand, I do that a lot.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

I wasn't really.
I was in a career I abandoned for something completely different and engaged to a girl I would subsequently marry, then divorce, so it was all a series of false starts really...

Happy as Larry now, mind.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

Leisure Suit Larry?

(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

He's a lounge-room lizard :)

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

*flicks tongue*
*licks own eyebrow*
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

That's quite a talent you've got there sir... I bet the ladies love it!

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

You're old.
This makes me happy.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

I'm not even 24 YET
:P
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

I'm not even 22!

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

cr3 makes me feel well old.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle, young lady.

(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

I heard you like the occasional fiddle good sir

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

I'm rather fond of an entire string quartet on occasion.

(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

I've only come across a tuba and that was by accident

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

I know
;) Are you coming to the next HB Bash? It's in August...
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

I hope so.
But that may the day Jude and my sister do the official signing-of-the-register-stuff.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

zomg!
yay :)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

oldy oldy old-old!
*flaunts youth*
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

i was 8 too
eurgh! girls!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

I was only 8 for December.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

i was 8 from october onwards
2 months older (and cooler) than you
*struts*
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

Keep dreaming, boyo.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

*puts on big shades*
how 'bout now?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

Now you just look like Elton.
Or Su Pollard.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

what's not cool about that?!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

Was I the only boy who enjoyed standing still during kiss chase?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

actually, i was a total mack when i was at school.
i kissed all the girls. even 'went out' with twins for a while

hitting my attractiveness peak at age 9/10 is not cool though
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

*high fives*
Me too. Let's get matching leather jackets and laugh at all of these geeks who are scared of girls.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

oh that is so a deal
*pops collar*
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

I didn't join in often.
I was too odd for most of the other kids. Read: lonely.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

Did you have bogeys?

I was the kid that got too excited and would run away across the field squealing when playtime was over and get chased for 30 minutes by the dinner ladies and teachers. :(
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

No, that was Christopher.
I was just a kid with an odd sense of humour and not enough nike on.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

haha
i'm trying really hard not to laugh in the office now
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

I was wearing short shorts with an elastic tie too.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

i used to wear a grey woolen tanktop

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

I'd try and take off all my clothes and my mum would wrestle me
I got locked in my room for climbing to the top of the climbing frame and getting my willy out at a garden party.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

you still do this though DG

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

I know :(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

my party trick was to fall into any nearby body of water
i still do it occasionally
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

I remember when I was 7 or 8 (and a blue eyed, blonde haired dreamboat - oh how cruelly wasted)
being held down by 6 girls as they took turns to kiss me. The teacher walked past and I shouted for her help but she looked over at me and carried on walking.
(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

And that's scarred you for life and now your wife has to pin you down to kiss you and afterwards you wipe your mouth with your sleave and spit on the floor

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

I was 6!

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

Awwwww

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

i bet you were only visible with a microscope back then

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

Damned kids.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

i was invisible

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

Pfft, freshers.

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

I was nine, and the only one able to eat the really fizzy sour sweets.
I was so cool.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

Also,
www.converse.com/#/products/shoes/converseone/builder/chuTayHiCan0901,9881,,,
I want my awesome shoes:(
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

I used to have one of these
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypercolor

But when I got hot it went pink.
(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

Oh cool, I've never heard of them before.
I love 90s crap.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

Global hypercolour was so shit.
Who wants a t shirt that shows where you're all hot and sweaty?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

you could get leggings.
seriously.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

Hahaha
Oh dear.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

What about Spliffy?
www.streetphire.co.uk/v5/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/0b_1-282x333.jpg
(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

Hmmm, vaguely.
I fucking LOVED my Eclipse dungarees.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

Oh hang on, they were the same thing, duh.
I LOVED them. They were shit hot back then.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

I had a dodgy knockoff copy

(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

I remember those, you could get them in the market.
Didn't the eclipse dude have a spray can?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

I think so

(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

all the estate kids had spliffy bomber jackets
i really wanted one but my parents wouldn't let me because we didn't live on the estate
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

Do you live on the estate now?

(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

yes, yes i do
it's a whole new world
(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

You get yourself a bomber jacket

(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

i remember it well,
everyone just had different colour armpits
it was ridiculous
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

I don't think we had them in Ireland.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

Reason: No heat.

(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

oh that shoe builder is fantastic
the delivery to the UK is :( though.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

They don't do international delivery, at all, apparently:(

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

There was a vending machine at high school that used to have this super sour sweets
You'd get 4 in a pack, and we'd see if we would eat all 4 at once. I once did 8 and my face went red, I started sweating until I could get enough saliva going to wash away the sour coating.
(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

Haha,
that happened to most people who tried. I am really good at sour, but shit at eating hot or spicy. Like really shit.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

I don't see the point in really hot and really spicy food
it shouldn't uncomfortable to eat.
(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

I like the cut of your gib, young man.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

i like hot and spicy
but i don't like to weep into my dinner

there's a line, man
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

Anything much more than a korma is a no no for me

(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

stuff.maxim.com/articles/images/Original/homereats/sour_ball_1.jpg
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

Much like that, but my anus did the same thing

(

magnum, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

Hahaha

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

Pfft, refreshers.

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

I was 6 in 1992
I can only assume this party will have jelly and bouncy castles and dressing up as princesses?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

and an uncle you are never quite comfortable around

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

I was 9 and finding out the wonders that girls skirts lift up

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

I was 13.
I was too busy being a geeky guitar playing teenager.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

I can't even remember 1992

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

I expect I spent all my time playing World Cup Italia 90' on my mate's Megadrive

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

and biting people

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

i remember the day that me and my friend daniel completed steets of rage
good times, man. good times.
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

k
*shits self*
*cries*
(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

He said 1992, not 2008

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

oh

(

ArthurTheRat, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

I finished mine last week
Mine's only been a uni since 1992 though. Ex-poly sigh :(
(

B.T., Fri 29 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

I do.
I've just quit my job. YEAH.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

Two jobless in once household?
Thats double mega dole!
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

I start at my new job in about an hour and a half.
ULTRAMEGAEFFICIENCY.
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

Woo!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

hahaha oh
Dear Applicant,
Re: Support Assistant, Reference number: EDN0154

Many thanks for your application for the above post with Edinburgh Council. After careful consideration I am sorry to advise you that we will not be progressing with your application.

There goes £11,835 PA.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

You should just give up and breed
Plenty of cash in that
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

1992? I was 21, just finishing my first year of university.

(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

*BONG*
'Man Caught Fingering Squirrel'

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8073202.stm

*BONG*
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

Was it JollyJack?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

YIFF
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

Shhh
You'll get that dirty cr3 started.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

you loved the cat hats, you closet yiffer

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

STOP TRYING TO OUT MY REPRESSED SEXUAL DESIRES

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

embrace your inner filth, matt

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

Anthropomorphising animals for sexual gratification is not my idea of filth

(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

:)

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

What's that Mattie? Little Timmy is bent over with his legs spread for me?
Wonderful!
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

coughing on a child's haircut though...
OOooh! I can see a Matchstick-On!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

This makes me :(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

:( masturbate
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

I think I'm going to throw up :(
Value sausages have given me a stomach upset.

*"Value sausage" pun*
(

Tamashii the other beige meat., Fri 29 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

That's nuts.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

Thats acorny pun

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

It's a bit of a GREY area.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

I tree where you're going with this

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

I'd put them all in a net sack and use them to beat peasants

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

I'd harness a flock of them
and make them pull my car around.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

correct. guh hungover. bare with me today.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

I wonder what they taste like.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

Nutty.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

maybe if they only ate nuts
I dread to think of all the crap grey squirrels eat. In towns, anyway.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

Ok, Nutty with a hint of fag butts and chewing gum.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

and crack.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

I saw one eating a pot noodle once
but the ones in Rotherham are ok.

Jamie taught them all to cook nut roast.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

I bet
up in their dreys, roasting peppers in olive oil.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

Calling each other "geezer" and saying "bosh"

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

I'm in ur dreys, roastin yur peppers

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

Squirrel

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

Littlelol.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

HILARIOUS.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

Racist vermin

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

they would taste like hidden things

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

"hidden things"
made me straightaway think of vaginas.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

always with the vaginas.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

Oyvey !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

w'sup niggers ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

that's not our word

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

whatever you can force

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

ABERDEENS CHOLESTEROL!
Shut up.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

Pfft
ABERDEEN
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

LOLFAT

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

LOL

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:55, archived)

Oh the hilarity
do you not just burst out laughing every morning when you realise that you arent thin ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

Its about once an hour on average

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:58, archived)

Similarly
how do women ever get out of bed in the morning ? Why dont they just stay there and play with their tits and fannies ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

We do.
We just start early.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

Well those nips and beans won't flick themselves.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

Nips and beans
Sounds like a scottish breakfast.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the nip 'n' bean-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

*horns*

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

What ever the fuck that means...

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

It means
"You're me bes mate pal, ah fuckin...wha ? Wha? Youse fucking callin me a poof ?"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

+
Och! You spilled ma Buckfast.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 10:13, archived)

I was actually thinking
that "Nips" is a Scots slang for a shot of whiskey.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

Set the alarm earlier than needed...

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

I dont think there are enough hours in the day
to play with womens tits and fannies.

I think you're all churlish and misguided for not spending your entire lives crosseyed and gushing.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

oh jesus.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

it's perfectly simple.
it's more fun in the shower.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

SOAPY TIT WANK !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

slippery nipples.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:14, archived)

"slipples" if you will

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

WAHEY.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

god you fucking panda-trap.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

that's a cocktail isn't it?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

is that it?

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:14, archived)

Marry me?

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

no. i dont think i am enamoured of the prospect of marriage. it sounds, quite frankly, a bit shit.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

Ok. No strings fun it is then.
*glomps*
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

there are always strings, just not woven into a sticky net.
*tickles*
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

the girl speaketh the truth.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

When I spend all day helicoptering and fingering my bumbit I get told off
bloody sexism :(
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:21, archived)

oh DG
the world isn't open-minded enough for you :(
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:21, archived)

eye nose :(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

write to your MP
use those exact words
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

I'll have you know the stupid fat bint in my office actually has really good cholesterol levels
As she keeps telling me. Doesn't make up for the fact that everything else is wrong with her.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

Yeah
it's like a mong saying "I have lovely hair"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

They've not moved that mirror away from your desk then?
AHAHAHAH LOOK AT ME BEING COOL AND SLAGGING OF ABERDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!

lOVE YOU REALLY.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:55, archived)

Topical humour!

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:55, archived)

Its funny because...
No... wait...
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:55, archived)

it's funny because I've made it over and over again.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

If that were the way things worked i'd be funny.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

AND POPULAR!

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

You mean not everyone here loves me?
Oh no :( I'll go kill myself right now.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

Can we then melt you down to provide the grease for all the deep-fat fryers in Aberdeen?
*joins bandwagon because he's unoriginal, dull and has nothing better to do*
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

The floor will fall out of the takeaway business in Aberdeen if me and Mykey did ourselves in.
I'd probably be found dead with enough kebab in my stomach to feed a family of 5 for a month.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

Thats the spirit!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

He'll go far this one.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

You're such a bitch to me
:(
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

I didn't mean it though.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

Still a bitch

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

www.ilovepickles.org/
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

Get a room

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

Haha
" Pickle Packers International, Inc."

Have you packed Pickle? Join the club!
(

broadsword, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:21, archived)

Pfft.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

*sadface*

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

You jiiiiiive turkey.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

Sheeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

ah gats faaaaahve kids ta feed.
I should calm down.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

He's in the Disney film "Enchanted"
I was deeply saddened that he didnt say "Sheeeeiiiiiiit" in that : (
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:58, archived)

:(

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

You've got to SASS it.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

got your randomburn?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:55, archived)

shit i had forgotten about that.
MUST BURN THIS WEEKEND
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

i've only received ONE so far
:(
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

I need to burn mine this weekend.
Although I don't think any of you are on my list.

I've only recieved one as well.
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

i havent received any, but then i wasnt sposed to yet.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

Yes I have.
I haven't listened to it yet. I'm not going to until I've sent mine out, out of a perverse, bafflingly-illogical courtesy. Mine will be delayed, due to unforeseen circumstances. So there. Sorry everyone.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

You got your cock stuck in the CD-RW drive mechanism?

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

Hahaha, heard it in the voice.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

HELLO YOU
*rubs you right up*
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

HELLO YOU.
I'm writing a letter to the KING. Well, Prince Philip.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

WOW. mention me in it. go on. say i said hi or something.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

Tell him I thought he was quite the handsome chap in his youth.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

~~turkey~~ bunny

*Mastermixes*
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

the sun

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

depends on your position dunnit

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

Standard.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

Stop your messin around
it's time to think of your future
aaa-aaaa-aaah
Time to straighten right out
or you'll wine up in jail
aaa-aaaa-aaah
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

k

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

I have a cold

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:55, archived)

Good

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

Good mornin' to ya.
I'll be on my way to Brighton soon, what pants shall I wear?
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

Gay ones

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

Will your mum's frilly knickers do?

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

It's definitely three quarter length trouser weather

(

Mrs Sp@m, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

I have full length ones
but they are loose and linen
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

What up white chocolate...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

Can I get
any of you cunts a drink ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

I want to drink tea out of your bumhole
make you put your hand on your hip and use you like a giant tea cup.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

I'm a yoghurt spastic.
Yet again today I've managed to spill some on my top and trousers and so now look like I've been jizzed on.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

*mops brow*

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

HELL YEAH BITCH

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

You're really teasing the internet virgins today arent you ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

I have to entertain myself some how.
Still, jokes on them, I'm an interlard fat bird.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

DOUBLE LOL !
FAT AND TITS !
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:14, archived)

I NO RITE

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:22, archived)

I spilt some yoghurt on the sofa at my folks whilst myself and Mrs Moose were house-sitting.
It looked very dodgy, so I rearranged the cushions before Ma and Pa got back... Hopefully they won't discover it soon enough to think that it might have been our fault :S
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 29 May 2009, 10:09, archived)

Jizz in your mother in laws hair
to distract them.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

I like this plan very much

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

GOOD MORNING SEXY PEOPLE OF /TALK
I have now been here for 1000 posts - what shall I do to celebrate?

Alternatively, who should I have on /ignore by now?
(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

JMG
Wormulus
SickRik
Sexface
Friz
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

But I like to spend my days mildly annoyed.

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

stick mustard powder up yiur arse then

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

I think you should go to a restaurant and do an amateur review.
Then spaz out and call Gilgamesh a cunt.

That would be original.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

Does one have to spaz out before calling Gilgers a cunt?

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

Anyone who thinks Gigglymesh is a cunt, is a cunt.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

I think you two should get married

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

Then it shall be done.
I'm sure they'll be perfect together.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

ym

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

I haven't spoken to her for months

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

If you have a foreskin, see how many aniseed balls you can hold with it.
If you don't, see how many aniseed balls you can balance on it.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

The real question is, how many could you stuff up your minge?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

*whistles through teeth*
We're going to need more balls...
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

You can all kiss my fucking chuddies, you barrels of wank.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

:D

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

*loves your face*

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

oh NOW you do.
You masochists make me sick.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

*snort*

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

Ha!
Can I use someone else's foreskin?
I am too girly to have one of my own.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

OH
well then learn to helicopter those tassely pasties.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

Dip the aniseed balls in tiger balm first though
It makes the game "extreme" then you can post it for the image challenge
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

Eeeesh.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

Did I go too far?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

I am crossing my legs protectively.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

A bit of aloe will cool it off
Or something anyway, what do I know...
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

No. Keep going.

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6183187 : Yes!
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

I'm going too,

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

Oh. oh well.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

just thought I'd warn you.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

;)
It will be lovely to see you again.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

I will pat you on the head in a patronising manner
then leg it before you kick my shins.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

try that on blue star if you ever see her
she loves it
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

it's the pint-resting that annoys me most

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:55, archived)

You're the loveliest table EVER

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

aw thanks hun
the top of my head needs to be flatter though.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

:D

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

i'm not going
i'm going somewhere much worse instead
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

I THOUGHT YOU'D DIED.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

ALMOST
I got onto the tube.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

Silly, you're meant to get IN it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

Eurgh
all the PEOPLE are in there.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

tell cr3 he was tooooo sloooow with his ERa 'joke'

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

I don't have him with me at the moment

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

yeah, but you'll probably see him before i do

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

I will.
Hopefully tonight but maybe tomorrow.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

maybe tomorrow, i'll wanna settle down
until tomorrow, i'll just keep moving on
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

littlest hoboooo

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

The tedious attention seeking leg humpers

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

says the guy who instantly replied to captain wow
mentioning minge
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

says the guy instantly replying to mykeyboy mentioning captain wow
Where are we going with this?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

I can call you fat in about two replies if you want?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

Please

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

fat

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

Mykey's palms are so sweaty
that they provide 1/5 of the beauty industry's Spermacetti
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

I read that as 'SuperMatt'

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

tape 100 party poppers together,
then fire them into your own face
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

Saves on make-up, I guess

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

don't actually do it
it directly contravenes the safety instructions on the party poppers

close call there
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

Phew!

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

I've not got anyone on ignore
though I'm pretty sure there are people I should have on ignore. I find that you miss out on stuff though if you ignore folk.

HELLO
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

i've got you on ignore

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

Hello you :)

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

Leave while you still can

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

I think I'm doomed :(

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

I'm writing a letter to Prince Philip asking him what drinks are in his drinks cabinet.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

I don't think he can read.

(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

His private secretary will give him the gist.
Do you think he'll send me a bottle of something?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

Yeh,
his wrinkly prune of a mother-in-law can't have got through her entire stash.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

Me.
I'm an internet bully you know.
Quick! Press it now before it ends in tears. Or spunk.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

That's true.
But you're secretly lovely!
PANDERING! I'M GETTING GOOD AT THIS!
(

thealternativefact, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

Who knows a taxidermist?
I want to comission one to make a Fox waiter for me.

I want it to carry a cocktail shaker and a tray for drinks.
It should ideally be dressed as a Huntsman, but a Regency valet is also acceptable.

I am going to call it Filbert.
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

I was going to learn it.
Can you wait a year?

edit: Having read Rob's post, that sounds much better.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

ha ha
www.b3ta.com/talk/6183310
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

You're terrible.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

you're a wierdo

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

A sexy weirdo.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

we'll see

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

you could use my local taxidermist - get stuffed
say you know me for a discount

www.thegetstuffed.co.uk/
(

rob, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

Cheers I am emailing them now.

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

I am of course telling fibs
My only contact with them is walking past their shop in Islington and going "ha! taxidermy!"
(

rob, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

haha
Dear Sirs,

I was passed your details by Rob Manuel, who recommended you after he
heard about my project.

Long story short, I am looking for a 'Fox Waiter'

A fox, posed to stand on its rear legs holding a tray for drinks.
The fox should ideally be dressed as a hunstman but a regency valet is
also fine.

I don't know if this is the sort of thing you can help with.
Please advise.

Best wishes,

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

Do you have to provide the fox?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

I fucking hope not.
I'm sure they have foxes in stock.
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

Are you going to take some breath mints and deoderant tomorrow?
I think we could do with handing them round.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

I wonder what that would cost?
I doubt it would be cheap. £1k ?
(

rob, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

I was talking to Madame Marlboro about this
She has a posed Squirrel on a plinth and she said it was only a couple of hundred.

Maybe foxes are a luxury item.
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

a fox is a lot larger than a squirrel
also commissioning something rather than buying off the shelf is always going to be pricey

edit: this place lists cats at nearly a grand and says you need to call for an estimate on larger animals: www.taxidermy.co.uk/assets/taxidermy_pricing.htm
(

rob, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

Damn my affectations!

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:53, archived)

wait, 800 for a cat but an extra 150 if it was a pet?

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

they need to make it look like the pet you remember
which is extra work - sounds fair enough to me
(

rob, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

get this
cgi.ebay.co.uk/FOX-CUB-Taxidermy_W0QQitemZ170336310765QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Collectables_AnimalCollectables_SM?hash=item27a8d5d5ed&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1684|66%3A2|65%3A12|39%3A1|240%3A1318|301%3A0|293%3A1|294%3A50

and dress it yourself
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 9:52, archived)

aw damn.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Who goes into a carreer in stuffing dead things?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Taxidermists

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

That's gotta be
the shitiest website ever
(

acab, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

You're going out of your way to be eccentric now seb

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

try Get Stuffed on Essex Road, Islington.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

Get Two Chimps
And when he asks "Do you want them mounted?"

You can say "No, just holding hands"
(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

A meerkat would be much better

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

They are always judgemental and want to compare everything though

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

You could not be more wrong
if you stapled Maddie to Hitler.
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

Seeing as they've started reintroducing beaver to the UK
What animal would you like to see introduced to this country?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

LIONS.
Well, lion. Introduced to my house. I'm going to be like that Lion Man off the telly with the dodgy song.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

I fancy a lion bar now.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

shocker

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

I know!
Amazing.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

I want one too.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

shocker!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

I am going to buy one and then upload a photo of it to twitter

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

Can you please make a photo set of you consuming said bar.
or even better a photo set of you buying it, opening it and throwing it in the bin.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

I don't care what you think
if you're mean to me tomorrow I shall just bundle you to the ground and sit on your chest until you

-love me
-die
-love me and die
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

I hear there's going to be a fight tomorrow
I predict a pretend asthma attack.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

Who is going to fight.
I reckon all the /talk girls are going to have a scratchy bitch fight with the attractive girls from QotW
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

Prezactly
They will want to claw back some of the attention they need to survive.

Wicca will lead from the front with her sword of righteous indignation and hypocritical claims of attention seeking.

Then /links will swoop in and pick over the charred corpses of the battle.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

There's always going to be
because I'm always upset with someone, but once I'm there everything's too happy and I am not such a Scrappy Doo.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

We can have the akward meeting people for the first time thing
where we consider if we have to hug or shake hands or nod or whatever, that's always fun.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

I'm going to burst in dramatically and whip of my sunglasses before gazing around the room like a Disney Villain
oh wait... That's Az
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

:D
I'm determined to see what you look like when you're smiling, grumpy gills.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

No polite bowing then?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

Hurrah..

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

The Lion Man who was sacked from that park last year by his own mum.
I think someone got mauled to death by a Lion at one of his mums parks this week.
(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

Oh nooooooo, that's a shame.
Both things are a shame.

I still want a lion.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

members of the public deserve a good mauling every so often.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

I. AM. LION. MAN.
derr nerr, der ner ner, derner derner derner ner, der ner ner!
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

YES. No.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

Honey Badger

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

Excellent porn name.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

Wolverines
Then they can set up their own little guerilla army, making devastating attacks against supply convoys.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

Big, man-eating Sharks, just off the coast of Yarmouth preferably

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

Which Yarmouth?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

'Gt' Yarmouth
It's difficult to tell the holidaymakers from the locals in the summer. It's nigh on high impossible to count all those with extra knuckles when they're all being dragged on the ground
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

My family on my grandmother's side comes from Norfolk
A little place called Salthouse if I remember correctly.

Does this mean I'm an abomination?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

*winces*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

Haha you see, I get worse
Morning captain, how are you this hot and humid start to the day?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

Shattered. You?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

Tired, it was far too hot for sleepings last night
I watched the newish Dukes of Hazzard film, it was delightfully stupid. Still, I only have to work to midday so everything is good :)
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Salthouse is only about 5 mins from me :)
so no, you're in the 'right' part of Nortfolk ;)
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

My auntie owns the coffee shop/fishmongers there

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

Macs? good grief, what a small world :)
you ever get back up here?
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

Cookies Crab shop
It used to just be a fishmongers the last time I was up there (about 12 years ago) but they turned it into an eatery a few years ago so my mum tells me
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

yup, they certainly did.
In fact, I may have caught the place in a set of photos I took a couple of weeks back of the ducks on the other side of the road
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

The lady that owns it is delightfully mad
I remember her walking down the middle of the road shouting at speeding cars. She also kept geese, which attacked me.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

I fucking hate yarmouth
it's a hole,
well the center is it get nicer very quickly when you get away from the sound of Kareoke.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

quite, quite so :)

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

Giant Sand Worms.

(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

Stegosaurus

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

dunno, chihuahuas or something

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

Posh Paws and the Honey Monster.

(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

Posh Paws!
Cor, that takes me back :)
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

:D
www.bbc.co.uk/cult/classic/swapshop/gallery/images/340/swap04.jpg
(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

~~Posh~~ whythebig
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

Kangaroos

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

Eric Cantona

(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

The winkywanky bird.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

Foxes dressed as people

(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

BINGO!

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

No, thats evil.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

Rhinos and hippos
into local area beauty spots
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

Fiddley Foodle Bim Bam Boodle Oo Diddley-Doodle Oodle Bird
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

Some great puns in the episode titles there
1. Foodle Power
2. Sea Saw
3. Cock-a-Doodle Crazy
4. The Yolks on Who?
5. Catch My Drift
6. Up the Pole
7. There's No Business Like Snow Business
8. What the Dino Saw
9. Hic Hic Wooray
10. Goin' Bananas
11. Planks a Lot
12. Squids In
13. Will Ee No Come Back Again?

(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

i remember it well, it was a great cartoon
the theme tune was ace
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

Breakfast innovations.
A thousand years ago, people decided that porridge was for old people so they re-invented porridge and called it Readybrek. It made kids grow Osmonds hair, wear parkas and become radioactive.

Then porridge came back into fashion for lazy, gluttonous morons but because this is the 21st century and people are too fat and thick to cook, they re-invented Readybrek but called it Oats-so-simple and charged people twice the price because it is for grown ups. It doesn't even make you radioactive.

Conclusion: 21st century gluttons are more gullible than seventies children. And seventies children bought the fucking stylophone.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:33, archived)

GMOS GMOS GMOS!

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:34, archived)

i like porridge.
i like porridge with milk and raisins.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:46, archived)

and i always buy some cheap oats and some massive jumbo chunky oats and MIX THEM UP.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:47, archived)

it is never as good as it used to be when my mum made it on top of the rayburn though.
bloody microwave
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:48, archived)

but the microwave helps it be more radioactive
you're NEARLY eating readybrek!
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

:( and therein lies the problem.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:53, archived)

i haven't had porridge since i was a scout
we used to have it for breakfast when camping but i'm pretty sure there was a whole bag of sugar in each bowl
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:55, archived)

blech sugar on breakfast?

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:02, archived)

sugar on breakfast

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

ew yok WRONG.
breakfast should be savoury, except for fruit and maybe honey or jam.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

or poptarts, where sugar is breakfast

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

gross.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

having said that i rarely eat breakfast recently.
i eat apples and bananas and things when at work, starting about 9.30ish
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

^this^
I often add a handfull of barley flakes
and always dried fruit (usually sultanas)

Always microwaved but it must all be soaked overnight
(

CanonCaliber A big bore, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:52, archived)

i mean sultanas but i call them all raisins in my head.
AND OUT LOUD, come to that.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:52, archived)

RAISINS!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:55, archived)

Is this your way of saying you'd like a bowl of Readybrek?
The stuff tastes like wallpaper paste.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:35, archived)

I just had the leftovers from Baby Shambles' bowl.
It still tastes like porridge. It still has the consistency of wallpaper paste.

Although modern instant wallpaper paste doesn't have the consistency of wallpaper paste. Confusingly.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:41, archived)

I wonder if wallpaper paste tastes like porridge.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

i want wallpaper paste and newspaper so i can make MESSY CREATIONS.
i have not done that for a few years now. MUST BE TIME.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

only one way to find out!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:56, archived)

I read that in
the voice of the man who does the E4 voiceovers. It was effective.
(

The Neville What what what, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:35, archived)

I like porridge mixed with muesli.
Much cheaper to just buy plain oats and then make your own muesli. And you get fruit and nuts and crunchy bits. Nom nom.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:36, archived)

^This
I like loads of dried fruit in mine. Nomtastic.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:36, archived)

my favourite combo
is apricot, paw paw and coconut mixed with linseed and grains. And then your oats and milk.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:38, archived)

I like
Dried cranberries, sultanas, figs, pumpkin seeds, oats, a fresh banana and a fresh cubed apple. I prefer it with natural yoghurt to milk.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:41, archived)

Yoghurt is good in summer if you're not having it as porridge
but I like milk for my porridge. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:44, archived)

PONCY.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:48, archived)

I love you too you friendly buffoon.
:)
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:50, archived)

*licks face happily*

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:50, archived)

/wipes spit from face.
I don't know you but you're well fluffy. I like you.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 9:01, archived)

*rolls around a bit*
*stretches in contentment*
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:02, archived)

*dangles something feathery on a string near your face*

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

*bites your leg*

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

no binkyfood for you!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:07, archived)

mahhhh but i am HONGRY in my tummy.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

I like cornflakes
There, I've said it.
(

SuperMatt, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:38, archived)

i prefer bran flakes.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

I LIKE WEETABIX WITH MARGARINE AND RAISINS. NO MILK IN SIGHT.

(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

margarine and jam

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

One of my old school mates used to have weetabix and water
It seemed like the most tasteless meal and looked quite wrong too.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

I bought a stylophone
stop bulling me for my choice of electronic goods/food
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:40, archived)

You'll probably be the first man on Mars.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:42, archived)

You can get stylophones from firebox
I want one. I'm not sure why, though.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:45, archived)

i feel that way about most of the things on firebox and iwoot

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:57, archived)

It's not good.
Thanks to working for the people I do, I can get a discount on Zorbs. TEMPTING.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:58, archived)

AUDIBLE GASP!
how much of a discount?
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:01, archived)

10 permotherfuckingcent, yo.
I think. I'd best check that at some point, actually.

No, wait, I am right. I get a discount on those red letter days too, so if I didn't buy one and just wanted to borrow one for the day it'd be cheap too.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

i want to go zorbing
like, this much
*holds hands far apart*
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

You're not the only one.
Might ask for my very own zorb for my birthday from Grandpa.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

can he get me one too?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

Probably not.
He's not all that friendly.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

what's wrong with a good old bit of crumpet in the morning?

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 29 May 2009, 8:54, archived)

WAHEY.
but after that comes breakfast.
(

sleepybinky, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:55, archived)

I had a Stylophone when they first came out
and my mother used to buy porridge from the local shop by the pound in brown bags. I don't like porridge. I do like Stylophones, but only a bit. David Bowie famously used one on Space Oddity. A Stylophone that is, not a bag of porridge.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 9:01, archived)

Could've been either.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

yeah but you had a wheel when they first came out

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

FUCKING CHEEK!
You behave on this interweb please. I was on here when it was still in black and white. Back in the good old days when white dog shit was everywhere.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

...Take your porridge oats and put your helmet on

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

BBBB_{BBBBBBBBBBBBUUU_{UUUU_UUUUZZZZ^{ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ^{ZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIII^{IIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKK^{KKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE^E}}}}}}
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

*stylophone noise*

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

I thought it was your pacemaker, sorry
:)
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

Ground beef whiskas for Ginger Tom.

(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

hahaha :)
mornin' fella :)
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

4, 7, 9, 7, 9, 8, 7, 5, 4
that's the numbers on a Stylophone for the start of Amazing Grace

it was on the Rolf Harris instructional flexidisc
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

Amazing Grace on the Stylophone would have made the end of Star Trek II much more entertaining

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

a Rolf Harris instructional flexidisc would help too

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

I have a flexidisk that came free with Private Eye in 1971
In my opinion it is probably one of the funniest things ever recorded. Peter Cook & John Cleese.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 29 May 2009, 9:13, archived)

I'm still amazed that Heinz make those little pots of microwaveable beans.
Because baked beans are renowned for taking fucking ages to cook.
(

FoldsFive, Fri 29 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

Man outside started cutting his grass at
7.45. That is an early time for grass cutting, although it is a nice morning.

Is it socially acceptable to cut your grass before you go to work? What's the earliest time you've ever cut your grass? Do you have grass?
Have you ever cut grass in the dark? What's it like?
(

The Neville What what what, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

On a week day I would say 8.30am is acceptable.
Push this back to 9.30 on Saturdays.
Don't even consider it before 10 on a Sunday.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:32, archived)

My grass cuts itself.
I have trained it to do this through years of emotional abuse.
(

WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:32, archived)

Emo grass

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:33, archived)

Grass is generally still damp at that time of the morning, even on a sunny day.
The man is clearly a lawn idiot.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:33, archived)

I might go and shout that at him
And laugh at the damp grass clippings stuck to his shoes.
(

The Neville What what what, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:36, archived)

Grass should be cut either early in the day
or late on a warm Sunday afternoon, so as to catch it napping.
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:36, archived)

I heard that you like to bum grass.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:40, archived)

Motherfucking sunny day!
Is the weather where you are shaping up to be a scorcher?

If not, what are you getting gmos for his birthday?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 7:58, archived)

I got gmos this lovely sunny day.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:00, archived)

no it was cold but bright today
Not too rainy and the sun was nice.

And I'm getting GMoS some internet love and fluff because a) I can't be arsed giving more, b) if I could be arsed - I'm on the other side of the world, c) I don't know GMoS. At all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:00, archived)

There must be something decent in Oz to send him
Im struggling to think of anything...but there must be something.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:04, archived)

A wombat

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:07, archived)

how the fuck did I forget the fucking wombats?
cuntflaps.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:09, archived)

What's a Quokka? Or a Bilby?

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:12, archived)

Native Aussie Animals
www.israellycool.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/quokka.jpg is a Quokka

www.cartage.org.lb/en/themes/sciences/Zoology/ClassMammalia/Mammals/OrderPeramelemorphia/bilby.jpg is a bilby

Sorry for the long links. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

Awww!
I want a pet Bilby! Look at those ears!
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:22, archived)

their ears are pretty soft
I got to pat one once - they're critically endangered. There's less then 1000 of them I think. Introduction of foxes meant they were almost completely wiped out. They have a breeding program at this place up in Queensland - way way north.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

If he likes anything of the lines of ...
Deadly snakes, deadly spiders, deadly marine life that can chomp you to death or poison you with stingers or bites, Kangaroos, Koalas, Quokkas, Bilbies, Emus that can gut you, or backpack serial killers then he'll be bound to find something.

Oh - echindas are pretty cute. I think he'd like one of them. Their spikes aren't actually hurty, they're really soft and nice to pat.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:08, archived)

The UK is better
I suggest moving

We have:

Changeable but mostly cloudy weather
Correct tea
Real money
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:10, archived)

Tis the plan my lovely!
I'm moving over on the 24th of November next year after my final exams are done!

And I love tea.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:16, archived)

Against that,
there's Middlesbrough.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:16, archived)

:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

Can't be worse then where I'm at now....
Just trust me on it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:19, archived)

www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=70240&in_page_id=34
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

sounds like home in England.
Not kidding. We have one of the highest rates of alcohol and drug abuse in my state, violence (sexual and general), currently have a very high rate of unemployment (I consider myself extremely lucky to be able to hold three jobs, even if only one is regular) and it is quite honestly one of the most depressing places to be.

Also Racism and Sexism is alive and well.
So yeah - sounds pretty similar!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

Bush turkeys.
Those big lizards. And the huge lorries. And warm Castlemaine XXXX.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:16, archived)

mmmm warm beer.
Love it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

There do seem to be a disproportionate amount of animals that can disembowel you
Cassowaries, emus, kangaroos....
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

... Chopper Reid...

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

*imitates aussie accent poorly*
That's just bloody insulting!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:29, archived)

fark awf you spastic cunt.
That's bloody shit. If you're gonna do an aussie accent at least *try*.

Pissweak. :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:31, archived)

My advice to you:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=unkIVvjZc9Y
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:31, archived)

Ahh!
It's uncle blaaady faaakin' Chop Chop.

Where is that bloody Neville Bartos?
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:33, archived)

I'm ashamed to admit...
that I do say "Blaaady". Not "Bloody".
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:37, archived)

Can't even bloody spell!
Bloody illiterate! That film was ace.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

I hit a cassowary with a rental car in Queensland
It just bounced out of the bush infront of me.

Made an awful mess of the car.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

yup - they do that.
kangaroos and emus can kill you if you hit them in a small car - not fucking kidding.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:33, archived)

I was warned about it!
Luckily this was a rent a wreck type place and I was insured. A massive old Ford Station Wagon of some description.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:35, archived)

You should know GMoS
Your life will be enriched greatly by the experience
(

The Neville What what what, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:31, archived)

Some stress
I've got loads spare as I sit here trying to swot up on my Rules assessment today. By tea time I could be deemed incompetent
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:03, archived)

I can save you the time and hassle

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:04, archived)

I might as well just walk in and fess up
All this arcane victorian railway shite is a total pain
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:07, archived)

I am booking train tickets tonight from here to inverkeithing
If i find out the cheapo tickets are gone i shall be blaming you
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:14, archived)

Use national rail enquiries

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:15, archived)

I dont think they will allow me to swear as much as you would

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:19, archived)

You can have a go

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:20, archived)

What in gods name do you want to go there for?

(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:19, archived)

Heading down to the in laws for the local version of the wickerman festival.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:21, archived)

I hope you'll be burning Nicholas Cage.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:24, archived)

he shits me up the wall.
Fucking "mr state the obvious". Gargh.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

Nicholas Cage
cannot be burned, not by standard means, as he is made mostly of teflon and aluminium.

You should cook him in a blast furnace heated to at least 1000'C
(

The Neville What what what, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

He's made of dough and dead eyes

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:39, archived)

My brother text me when The Knowing was out
and asked me what Nicholas Cage was for. I couldn't answer him. I don't think he dislikes him quite as much as you though.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

I want to punch his face into mince

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:37, archived)

Fifer's eh!

(

fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

Nah, short hop over the bridge to Bo'ness

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:36, archived)

I tried to get GMoS a goose
but they scare me too much so I got him some foam shrimps.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:06, archived)

Its hard to know whats worse, geese or foam shrimps.
HONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONK
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:08, archived)

I've given him my birthday.
And SSG. I'm nice like that.
(

GatheredCrustacean, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

Happy birthday lovely

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:21, archived)

Thanks!
Your CD is on its way as we speak.
(

GatheredCrustacean, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:24, archived)

FUCK YEAH!
A scorchy scorcher. I'm going out in the sun at lunchtime with lunch and lazing all about on the grass and all that

I think I shall get the GMOS a small paper aeroplane wedged into the back of a drawer in a pub
(

The Neville What what what, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

fuck off sunshine, it's too fucking hot already

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

HAPPY GMOS DAY EVERYBODY

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 29 May 2009, 7:33, archived)

Hurrah!
It's Ms Official's birthday today too. I put it to you that she wins at sexy due in no small part to enormous tittage. Happy birthday also.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 29 May 2009, 7:34, archived)

I'm glad her breasts score points
my regards to her.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 29 May 2009, 7:34, archived)

I shall pass on your regards in the form of some form of endeavour
Then, when I'm done, say "That one's from Rick". She'll be well thrilled.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 29 May 2009, 7:36, archived)

hah

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 29 May 2009, 7:37, archived)

Happy day to you too, sir
Is all well in the world of shoes?
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 29 May 2009, 7:37, archived)

Oh my God!
It's world GMoS day! Enjoy your day lovely face.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 29 May 2009, 7:39, archived)

Happy GMoS day!
*tops off*
*victory lap, parade, cake and explosions*
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 29 May 2009, 7:44, archived)

Hey hey
Happy GMoS Day! hope you have an ace day. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 7:56, archived)

Hurrah!
It's GMOS DAY!

I shall celebrate by going out in the sun later and larking about the place!
(

The Neville What what what, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:16, archived)

GMOS! GMOS! Gimme a GEE! Gimme a MOZZ! Whaddayagot? HERPES!

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:21, archived)

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