no one likes my art
www.b3ta.com/board/9508198
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

didn't you used to do a lot more of this sort of thing?

( well, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

what thing?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

Mmmm Nazi-nuggets.
They certainly got us through the war!
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

So fucking chewy.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

Made out of brickdust and the sap from Oak trees.
You don't get them like that nowadays.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:12, archived)

I'm sure Riverghost clicked 'i like this'.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

yeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

Everyone likes mine though.
You must just be shit.

www.b3tards.com/u/9a8441c6e0b73ddb4e32/tegan_%5B800x600%5D.jpg
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

that has a sort of 70's metal vibe

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:13, archived)

I don't get it.

( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

well, it's a commentary on the military-industrial complex
albeit obscured
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:15, archived)

Satsumas. Tangerines.
Can you tell the difference?
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:59, archived)

I'm on the internet, I don't eat fruit.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)

You'll die of the dreaded internet addict disease...
SCURVY! ARRR!
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

Mooey does.

( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

Yes
But only because the supermarkets label them.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

Nope.
Then there's clementines, and all that bollocks.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

Minneolas are the best, very tangy.

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

I'll have to try them!
If I can remember that word.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

They only have a short season, just after Christmas.

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:13, archived)

Starting a new thread is ALWAYS the best way to deflect unwanted negative attention.
Right then, this pretty much confirms b3ta is still really boring. BYE SHITS.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

See you later, chummmmmmmmmmm_p.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

why would i need to?

( well, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

In case a recipe calls for one or the other?

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

it doesn't make any difference which you use

( well, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

your mum

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

She sorts them out for me.

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

With her vagina.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

She stuffs them up there
and pops them out like ping-pong balls into seperate baskets.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

It's all in the girth.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

If they're labelled, yes.

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)

Actually, isn't there a difference in taste?
I think (correct me if I'm wrong) Tangerines are sharper.
( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:04, archived)

There is a difference in taste
However I never remember which one is the one I prefer.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:05, archived)

I think the sharper tasting Sunny Delight had Tangerines in.

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

There must be some kind of difference.
But surely a ripe tangerine would taste just as sweet as an unripe satsuma. If an orange falls in the woods and no-one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:05, archived)

they're sweet and sour
the beastie boys told me
( spacefish bong!, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

Nope, but my 6 year old can, she only likes satsumas

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:05, archived)

Yes.
The labels on the packet are different.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:05, archived)

Loser

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:05, archived)

I only hand pick my satsumas and tangerines
from the Spanish orchards in the Andalucia. I do my satsuma/tangerine run every Spring time.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

Oooh
It's big gay Neil. How are you doing?
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

Hello there.
I haven't slept in about 36 hours but otherwise I am certainly alive.

How is your fine self?
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

HELLO YES??

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

Hello, sorry.
I was dealing with obvious issues.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

HELLOFUCKINGHELLO
Where are you? Still in London?
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

Newcastle.
After the failed suicide attempt, my parents won't let me go back.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:13, archived)

Oh you twat. Why for not you phone me?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:15, archived)

For three months I didn't talk to anyone I didn't absolutely need to.
Sorry. :(
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 20:16, archived)

JMG!
Hello JMG fans.
Who'd like to make some JMG based remarks?


/edit
Got to pop out now Fatties.
Try and be less miserable.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)

JMG is a king among men
A KING AMONG MEN
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:13, archived)

Just this afternoon I expertly swerved my car around some ugly people.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)

swerved my car around drove straight over
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

Did I mention that he's also merciful?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

JMG
He's... like... a man.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:13, archived)

JMG
Bringing leather jackets back in fashion
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)

I'm like Gok Wan but with less fruit about me.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

I'll Wan your Gok in a minute, young man.

( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:17, archived)

LORDY!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:18, archived)

Customer Testimonial:
"I was tired, down on my luck and lost at sea. My weight had ballooned to 500lbs and women had lost all interest in me. Then, one day, I happened upon FATBEGONE from JMGCo and within hours, I'd slimmed down to 12 stone, had abs like Peter Andre and had gained three inches to both the length and girth of my already-huge penis. Women wanted me, men wanted to be me. I bought myself a fly swatter and started attacking other fat people with it in the street.

Thank you JMGCo, for pimping my ride.

Bud,
Brighton"
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)

YES!
REPLY OF THE WEEK!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:16, archived)

I rehearsing with the band tonight JMG.
Just popped into the office for a can of pop.
I'mm popping back now.
Do have a good evening.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)

Make sure you finish with a Jungle remix.
Always end with Jungle.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:16, archived)

We are doing The Alex Harvey Band version
of Delilah tonight JMG. It's well worth a youtube an all that.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:18, archived)

I read that as Delia
and imagined a song about frozen mashed potato
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)

JMG...
More popular than Nick Griffin.
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

*waves*

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

*waves back with gusto*

( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:16, archived)

how many?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:16, archived)

“JMG gives everyone a chance to be somebody and, in all reality, that’s all anyone wants. People want to be of importance and JMG allows for that.”
www.jmg.org
( Zuowan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:19, archived)

The two girls on that page look like they were crafted in play-doh.
Badly.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)

hahaha

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)

Don't be fooled by the two "women" on the front page.
One of them is Moohalaa.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6175379
( moohalaa, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

AGENT: JMG
www.sophos.com/security/analyses/viruses-and-spyware/trojagentjmg.html?_log_from=rss
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:35, archived)

JMG: The perfect specimen, on and offline.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)

I'm doing my Girl Duties and cooking a lovely curry for me and the boy.
What is JMG's favourite curry?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:54, archived)

I hate it when my leg goes dead.
Do you ever sit on your arm until it's gone numb and then feed yourself baby food and pretend that it's someone else and that there is someone out there that cares enough to feed you?
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)

Perhaps you could video such an endeavour

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)

My arms and hands are pretty purple right now.
Don't know if I have the dexterity to use the buttons on a camcorder.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)

I like to sit on my own arse and pretend it's someone else's

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)

No, I'm sure there'll be plenty of time for someone to feed me when I enter the home without pretending now.

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)

When you walked through the door
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see (who they came to see)
You’re a … rockstar (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player… Who can really blame you (who can really blame you)
We're the ones who
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)

Are you broken in the head?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

Very much so.
My mummy says that they ran out of proper wire so they had to use cut up coat hangers and rolled up tin foil when they made my thinking bits.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:07, archived)

Are you broken in the stretch waistband?

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:07, archived)

Zing!
Totally pwnd.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

Piss up a stick, mongrel.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)

My dog does a handstand and shits up tree trunks.
Beat that with your fleshlight and cum in your shoe.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:13, archived)

I once did a shit out of my big toe.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)

I know. It was into your dad's mouth while he blew his load on your family cat.
You asked me to video it.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:16, archived)

You couldn't hold the camera still, what with all the wanking.
BETTER DAYS.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:17, archived)

Well you did promise me an extra £50 if I would wank off your 80 year old neighbour while I filmed.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)

You fucking killed her.
:(
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)

And then you raped her corpse for three hours solid.
I could barely pry her rigor mortis'd corpse off you in the end.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)

What can I say? You had a gun to my head.
And my finger in your rectum.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:30, archived)

You told me it was your favourite fantasy!

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:34, archived)

I totally ate some food once
seriously

what's the foodest roll call music you're listening to on television right now?
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)

I don't watch much food music

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)

BREAD ROLL CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)

Oh my
now that is witty
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)

Food, music, television, internet.
All shit.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)

BAM!
NOW the internet gets VERY serious!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)

I'm wearing cerise 18 hole DM's to kick the internet in its gay face with.
BRING ON THE FAT MOANING.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)

You've missed some TERRIBLE bullying.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)

No doubt I've been lurking 24 hours a day, every day, whilst ego-spazzing my log-in name.
I'm THAT SELF OBSESSED.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

I
knew it.
( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

Because clearly, I have nothing better to do, live in a bedsit and got dumped by my wife.
These are all good, true facts in Aberdeen.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)

I am not surprised.
I just know you've been crying yourself to sleep. It's ok Bud. It's ok.

Hope you're well. I'm off now.
( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)

BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE
BYE.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)

Steady on Bud.
Don't make any statements about yourself without running it by the overweight.
Everything must be stamped with a greasy fist.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)

No, everything is punctuated by the stamping of fat, greasy feet.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)

I'm so Bud obsessed that this is my first post in ages and it's JUST FOR YOU.
[this space deliberately left for Bud]
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)

I FUCKING LOVE YOU, MUTTONCHOPS.
Life is 97% empty without you here to hold me.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)

My chops need trimming.
I went abroad for ten days and it's all gone a bit wild man of the woods.

We should cuddle in a damp bedsit and talk about people we don't care about on the internet.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:07, archived)

What we should do, right, is pretend we're ignoring people,
then bring up everything they've said about us recently, thus blowing our cover.

Then we could, like, wrestle a bit.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

Dear Gilgy.
Increase the dosage.

Regards
Spoider.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)

I remember this one night I took so much drug I was offed from my tit.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)

I'm watching Bremner, Bird and Fortune
Having just watched BBLB. I'm just so cultured.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

Why do yorkshire puddings taste so good?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)

I'm making Toad in the Hole, bitch.

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:53, archived)

isn't that just a sausage in a yorkshire pudding?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:54, archived)

Don't answer back, bitch.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)

Yes
and it's fucking awesome
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)

m t
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)

Because there is nothing good about them
They are just batter and oil and therefore yummy.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:54, archived)

You have mistakenly typed oil instead of beef dripping
Please rectify this
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)

I love you.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)

You are but flesh

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)

Well if anything that makes it worse
So my point still stands.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

they contain fluctose

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)

maybe you could tell me why, as I've never had one.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)

Really?

( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)

yus

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)

Because I rub my flaccid penis around the rim of every single one of them.
It's a tough job.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)

Talk Just stopped
should I be worried?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

no

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

Phew

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:17, archived)

Yes

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)

arrgh

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:18, archived)

More importantly
my bush needs trimming AGAIN.

Kids, don't get old, it's a non-stop misery of hair removal.
( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:19, archived)

Prevent aging by eating wrinkle cream on toast with marmite

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:20, archived)

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:22, archived)

WHAT??????????????????/////////////

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:21, archived)

It just stopped..

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:22, archived)

Maybe.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:22, archived)

do feel free to gaz now for bingo cards
as i am now producing proper looking tickets it takes time to random them, cheers, bingo
( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:26, archived)

ARE THE TICKETS OK?

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:41, archived)

for better reasons than this
YES
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:36, archived)

HIYA

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:38, archived)

I just went to Morrison's and went to their butcher's bit,
and asked them if they'd mince me some pork steaks for my tea tonight. The chap (who only appeared after I'd asked somebody to get him after waiting at the counter for him) just said "no," very bluntly, offering no explanation as to why.
Why might this have been? Suggestions on a postcard.
( Malchick, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:14, archived)

wear clothes next time

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

they dont like to work
The only reason people work at the Morrisons meant counter is the free ham.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)

Morrison's is shit

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)

They didn't have a real mincer.

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)

minced...steak?
next you'll be boiling sirloin etc
( moohalaa, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)

Because he was a shit butcher
which is a bit daft considering that Morrisons supposedly pride themselves on their trained butchers.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:19, archived)

Unless he only had one mincer.
He's not going to wash it down so that one weirdo can have minced pork.

Who the fuck has minced pork?
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:31, archived)

People who want meatballs?
I buy minced pork quite often for meatballs.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:42, archived)

I like the idea of mincing something that
isn't beef. But where would you draw the line?

a) Chicken
b) Fish
c) Vegetables
( The Neville What what what, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:46, archived)

why would you mince a steak?

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:36, archived)

Pork != steak

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:45, archived)

Pork steak == steak
Pork mince == steak
Pork mince !== steak

SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
( The Neville What what what, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:48, archived)

I used to work behind the meat counter at Waitrose when I was young.
The mincer thing was only allowed to mince beef, nothing else. Avoids cross contamination.
( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)

ME!

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

YOU

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

AND A CRAZY THING CALLED..
CAPS LOCK
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

CRUISE CONTROL FOR CLICHE

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)

PRECISELY
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

You would be Barry, then?

( Zuowan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)

No
I am the one and only willenium
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

Give it a few hours.

( Zuowan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)

I'm changing...

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)

no, me

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

This is JMG's fault.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

Yeah

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:48, archived)

There was another post here.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

Baldmonkey stood over Lightguy, his nob danging like some kind of pink, minimalistic chandelier.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

The rest of the wedding party was now silent
Jaws dropped awaiting the breath to express their outrage at this scene
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

:o

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)

BASTARDS!
BLOODY BASTARDS!
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

NO, I WANT ATTENTION! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME MEEEEEEEE

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

i think i might have a drive up the pub

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

I think I might switch my computer off for a while

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

OMG real world teimz!

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

say it aint so

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

i never turn this old heap of shit off, i'm not sure it would re-boot

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

how old is your PC?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

over 10 years, maybe 12

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

woah
I wouldn't risk it
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

i would buy a new one but i don't have much luck with cumputorz

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

Well if its still chugging I would count that as a plus

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

You're me
Everything I do to a computer goes wrong. It's not as if I'm shit at computers, I'm just cursed.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

i bought a nice little netbook the other month installed wine on it
i hasn't worked since, damn you jacobs creak
( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

white or red?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)

red? is that where i went wrong?

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)

use rose for best results.
Its close enough to white wine not to break it but red enough to improve the performance tenfold.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

noted, i might buy an alienwarze pc thingy and install white lightning

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:59, archived)

Oh :(

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

GILGAMESH YES!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

I'm improving the internet by ruining it for everyone

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

ah ha
the google approach
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

that's a great sig in the making, right there.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

given that i will not long be part of this world,
i think i should get most attention.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

I thought you died two years ago.
This is taking the piss now. Please hurry up.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

that was his brother
do at least to try keep up
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

fucking hell, I am a keyboard spack today

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

So is he dead or not?
It would be a bit of a shame if SSG's brother died.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/4147458
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

My condolences
not that it means much coming from someone from the internet, but I am sorry for your loss.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/4147430
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)

top irony here

( well, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

*the sound of a man dying*

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

urrrk
*cough* remember me as a corpse
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

MY TURN TO FLOUNCE!!
Gilgamesh - What a TOTAL BASTARD. I've seen paedophiles I've sympathised with more than this shitstain on humanity.

Mongychops - TOTAL BASTARD! The kind of bastard who'd freeze a turd and stab you in the eye with it.

Jam Master Geordie - BASTARDING BASTARD!! Invented the word bastard to describe himself. Wouldn't even shit on you to put out a fire unless you provide him free bog roll.

Sir Sand Goblin - BASSSTTAAARRDD!!! Lets children swing on his shit beard whilst nobbing them

Lightguy - ABSOLUTE TOTAL AND UTTER BASTARD!!!! Invented AIDS, Pokemon and the bugs you get in FIFA games. Dared Bin Laden to carry out 9/11 in a five pound bet, then refused to pay up afterwards.
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)

please, I'm still recovering from yesterday's attack on my delicate sensibilities

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

i'm glad i got out of that one lightly

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

i'm far too timid to use b3ta anymore, it hurts me

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

Turdsicle cranial intrusion
would be a good term for stabbing someone with frozen shit
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:02, archived)

Baldmonkey's quite an arse,
His opinions all a farce,
I wish he'd die,
Then maybe I,
Won't have to make myself so sparse.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

Is this a flounce?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

No.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

Monitoring it.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

I'll gaz you if I decide to.
I should start my own newsletter.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)

can't you two do this over email or something?

( well, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

Don't involve yourself.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

Methinks that b3ta boys protest too much
always discussing cock and such
I doubt there's really anything
They crave more than a ding-a-ling
Especially a famous root
a well known username to boot
In short, they all bum each other
and just pretend to hate one another.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

Mooey is a poofter
Scott and others too
Though disabled, they don't offend me
Like some woolies do

Some nancies insist on being camp
Aloof, prancey and thick.
Like Roaneah. Who is a fucking annoying twat of a person.
Ick.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

Quite the hypocrite, aren't we?

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

you so zany

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)

you're just unbearable now.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)

charlie kaufman's sycnsechdoete, new york, is a bit shit

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

moohala moohala is so gay
he has sex with men in bales of hay
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

I prefer erotic b3ta fan fiction
Mongychops rose gracefully from his chair. Subtlety glistened in the beads of sweat scattered sparsley across his broad, naked chest. The heat from the fire seemed but a candle compared to the furnace of his heart.
He leaned over, and slid into King Baby Duck with rehearsed ease. As sweet and as smooth as a perfect glissando; the cadence would not be heard until the morning.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:37, archived)

hold on why the name change? and i'm not gay you know, i hate queers

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

I just used the first two usernames I saw.
I thought I saw FF, but it turns out I didn't.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

Just then, FoldsFive walked in, with a wine bottle hanging off his cock.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

I've got a semillon.

( FoldsFive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

Bravo.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 18:33, archived)

that's ok then, i though FF had gone off me for a moment

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

Not a chance.

( FoldsFive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

People Who Have Apple Macs.
Are there any videos you can't view?

I'm going to make a video (nothing rude, so shush) for someone who uses a mac, and I'm on Windows.
Can you view WMV / Avi / mp4 videos or does it have to be a mac format?

Alternative question: What's your favourite?
( moohalaa, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

Pecan.
I decided you meant pie. Mmmmmmm.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

probably a 360 nailer

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

although it really depends on the bottom

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

mp4 for Quicktime is probably the easiest to get right.
avi can use several different codecs and wmv is native windows.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

chars

( moohalaa, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)

mp4 also my favourite for quality, btw

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

Picky Bugger,
my new one with zombies on, black and red and dark.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

THIS IS PC GONE MAD
etc.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

Dutch Poison

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:35, archived)

There's no poetry on here any more
What's wrong with you people. Where's your artistry ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

i poem i wish to see
before i am killed by a bee
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

Mostly involved in alcohol.

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

it was never any good anyway

( well, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

I draw a lot and make the people on /board look at it
I also write beat poetry, ish, but like fuck are you lot seeing that.

Here, have a 5 minute doodle from yesterday:

www.b3tards.com/u/73ec12ab3d29a4d600fa/dsc00079.jpg
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

You have issues

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

Nah
I draw happy shit too.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

+Do
+t
+?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:06, archived)

Ha
Took me ages.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

Have you been tracing from Killerkitti's exercise book?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

There's no fringe or skinny jeans in that anywhere
also: sick burn. What a bastard.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6191472
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

I hate to blow my own trumpet
but I've made prettier pictures on sanitary towels. So you can use your opinion as a princes wand, boyo.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

Got any photos of those to share?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

Of my sanitary towels?
For the 17th time, no. You'll just have to shove one in your frillies and strain again.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:18, archived)

No matter how many girls I Gaz none of them will comply
:'(
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)

That's why I got you that pine cone.
I sharpened it special.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:23, archived)

*winces*

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:25, archived)

*minces*
well, if you can call roughly eroding Tentacle's rectum mincing.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

harsh dude

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

Poetry?
You must have us mixed up with one of your woolly woofter's forums.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

Nope
there used to be loads of rhyme on here.

It was either very good or "ME TOO"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

My rhymes flow like my charts.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

goatworrier, a sullen old man
bums animals whenever he can
he once came a cropper
and was caught by a copper
so away from the goatsex, he ran.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

HOORAH
That's the spirit.

You can rely on Spangolin. She kissed a girl and she likes tit.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)

Terrible rumours.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

Spangle spongle spangolin
found a minge upon her chin
What's this ?
she cried, surprised by it
then lapped away upon the clit.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

haha
*licklick*
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)

I pissed myself and I liked it.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

I'm lacking inspiration for anything at the moment
Plus it's hometime and I've got to go to Ikea...
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

I am only what I know I am said the piece of Ham
(profound)
(Kebabo Calling all cars, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

Also - quick question
Hotel wake up calls involve the receptionist phoning your room - but what if you've 100's of rooms each specify 7AM - surely they'd get to the last room many minutes after 7 AM ?
(Kebabo Calling all cars, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

Most places have an automated thing now,

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

Thanks
Another thing - watching saving private Ryan - why weren't the beaches shelled by allied before landing ?
(Kebabo Calling all cars, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:12, archived)

By shelled I can only guess you mean by ships as opposed to land based artillery?
If you mean the latter you are very silly indeed.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:16, archived)

Beaches have their own shells
Crabs and that leave them.
( Theoban What of it, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

I'm trying to learn how to do the running man.
I look rather foolish right now.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

I'm not good with words
Sometimes I mess up with them
This makes people sad
( Theoban What of it, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

I write poetry

(Captain Boffer, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:15, archived)

Chin up
I'm sure they'll find a cure.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:23, archived)

i'm already home and half drunk
WHOOP!
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:15, archived)

poetry is rubbish
so are puns, and b3ta is shit
( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

If you'd been working on a cocktail called grounds for divorce
what would you put in it ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

Cyber sex with Jordan

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

This is you:
NSFW

randomn.es/images/9d8817769e80a872553d4845f64df533.jpg
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

OMG LOL FOUND OUT !

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

Is that Justin lee Collins ?
Who on earth would bother to photoshop that sort of abomination ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

Photoshop? No no.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

It came from 4chan
It's veracity is doubtful.

'Ello neckwrong, how's tricks?
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

I'm in a special place.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

ym ?
or OMG LOL DRUGZ ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

After trying some shitty "Quick Energy" drink yesterday, I took a double dose of sleepy antihistamine to get some sleep.
I'm all warm and fuzzy.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

it's clearly photoshopped
i can tell by some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few such images in my time
( well, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

oh moohalaa, those are some lovely socks!
:(
( moohalaa, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

your gut is bigger

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

Nothing, it'd just be a martini glass with a lipstick stain on it.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

A paper cup
containing half a turd with teeth marks in it.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

ground beef

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

coffee grounds

( Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

Amaretto, kahlua and a slip of grenadine
it'd probably curdle and taste of shit.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

Kahlua, Vodka, Milk and ice
*settles into comfy chair and calls everyone man*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

Kahlua, cream, tia maria and butterscotch schnapps.
I reckon that'd taste quite nice.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

Vodka, sambuca, triple sec, peach schnapps and white rum.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

peach AND sambuca?
*mind boggles*
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

yes

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

You'd have to layer that, methinks

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Yeah, so fuck that, then

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

gin+gin+gin+gin etc

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

gin and whisky

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

It's a martini glass full of pubes, you have to drink it before your wife comes through the door and turn around and say "...I can explain...."

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

Guy Garvey's spunk.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

He's a northern bricklayer!

( SuperMatt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

He's a fat hairy manc yes
but I would quite like to do sex at him. He's lovely. And his voice is lovely.

*melts into a Guy Garvey daydream*
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

*buys a wig*
hello
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

Ha ha ha
Hello mister.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

ym

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

Coffee grounds
Rum
A bit of Stella
( Theoban What of it, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

MY COCK!
roflz
(likeajackhammer, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

1. I have only just started listening to Elbow. I am mightily annoyed I'd not paid attention earlier. They are ace.
2. Mrs Jobe, despite constantly singing this song, doesn't want it as our first dance at the wedding.
3. Strawberry and basil.
( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

Mirrorball
might do as a first wedding dance.

I went for "Fuck you, bitch" by Bobby and the Cuntfucks.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

I'm edging towards One Day Like this for ours.
We might well have to compromise. Me and FF, not me and you. Obviously.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

Clearly
as I am far too good for you.

I'm far too good for any online girls.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

*wipes away a silent tear*

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

Oh go on then
you can have some sex, but no bragging about it via GAZ
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

YES

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

ooh, me too. There's a nice acoustic version I found somewhere.

( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

1) Good man yourself.
2) Double F wants it for ours as well. I'm considering it.
3) See my answer above.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

A chilled baby.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Not this anyway.
www.disaboom.com/Blogs/saydrah/archive/2009/06/08/what-happens-when-you-order-a-cosmopolitan-in-a-bar-in-western-australia.aspx
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

the cure for cancer
:(
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

SHUT UP YOU MASSIVE TWAT

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

you insensitive swine.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

Have you been offered CHEMOSEX ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

What, after I'd been working on it?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

Why do some people comment on EVERY photo they're in?
LOL LOOK AT ME THERE.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

Most people are cunts

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:57, archived)

so who is enjoying the cricket?
and who would like to have a whinge about how they don't like cricket?
GO.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

Shame about holland gobbo.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

Sprinkles was on the other day.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

I dont mind this twenty20 stuff
normal cricket can fuck RIGHT off
( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

I dunno.
It might be worth a good drinking session here when the aussies take the ashes back.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

I don't like cricket. It appeals not to me.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

I've not been watching it.
I am aware of results though.
( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

I REALLY HATE U BECOZ U LIKE FOOTBALL AND I HATE FOOTBALL WHO WANTS TO TALK ABOUT DINNER?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

WHAT IS BIG BROTHER?!?!!

(likeajackhammer, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

I REALLY HATE U BECOZ U LIKE BIG BROTHER AND I HATE BIG BROTHER WHO WANTS TO TALK ABOUT LUNCH?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

I am on my midafternoon meal between Lunch no.2 and my pre-dinner warm up meal.
LUNNER.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

*Double up top!*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

Stupid fat hobbit.

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

OMG LOL SPAZZY GO HIS COCK OUT IN THE POOL AND SHANELLIA DISLOCATED HER TIT IN THE DIARY ROOM
IT'S EYAT THOOOORTY EYAT PEE EMM, TARQUIN HAS BEEN WANKIN FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES, HE'S JOOST STARTED TO CRY. THA FOOKIN BAIRN !
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

20:20 is a glorified penalty shoot out.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

bollocks.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

It fucking well is.
One day is the best cricket.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

you're an idiot.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

You're a bigger idiot.
twenty20, not only does it have the shittest name of any sporting event in the world, it is also very shit.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

good point.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

In fairness, cricket's bollocks.
Hurling's the best field game played with a stick by miles and miles.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

i don't like cricket, oh no
i love it
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

chim chim chiree

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

I am disappointed in the Dutch

( Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

I don't like cricket.
I love it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

I have enjoyed what I've seen on it.
Do you think the Aussies are embarassed about going out, or is it all part of their "perpare for the Ashes" mindset? I don't think it will make a difference really. Should be an interesting series though.
( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

i'm not sure that they wanted to prepare for the ashes by spending the run up not playing any competitive cricket,
to be honest.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

I agree.
They'll act like they're not bothered, but they'll be crying n the inside, you mark my words.
( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Cricket should have stopped in the 1950s
It wont be played professionally by 2050.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

interesting.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

I disagree.

( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

Actually thinking about it
given that it's actually popular in Pakistan and they have a huge population I am probably talking shit.

If it were just England, it'd be dead by now. It's the aussies and the asians who are keeping it alive.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

well there we go,
that shows what you know.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

Agreed.
I hope Running Man is, though.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

But only because you want to see more men in leotards

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Christ, no
There isn't a man alive that suits one.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

You havent met me yet

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

How do you know? I might've.
Don't you oppress my right to have previously met you.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

It will but just like every other sport the UK will be shit at it

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

fuck cricket man, fuck cricket right in the ear

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

Oh baby
I love it when you talk dirty.
( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

As with everything I find it much more fun to do than to look at.
Even if I am shit at most things related to doing things.
( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

I don't find cricket that interesting
But I like that it's being played. It's comforting that cricket is still on, just how I like that Gardener's Question Time is still on.
( Theoban What of it, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

it's there when you need it

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

I rue the day they stopped broadcasting One Man And His Dog.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

FUCK YES CRICKET.
Cricket is awesome. People who don't like cricket are generally just scared of the hard red ball because this one time at school it hit them in the side of the head and after that they were only allowed to play rounders with the fat kids and spackers.
(MooCow_Byter, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

Cricket is shit

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

Historical figures in maths then.
Henry the 1/8th
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

Pythagoras.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

...I'm going back out.
ciao
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

lols
[every single monarch in the history of England]
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

SHIT THREAD
Post another
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

I've not though this through enough DT.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

Fractions speak louder than surds.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

Joan Of arc

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

haha

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

Mr Hypotenuse?

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

joan of θr
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

George The Nought-point-one-six-six-six-recurring-th
( The Neville What what what, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

Hinge & (

( rob, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

Genghis Khant Do Algebra

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

But Lord Lucan.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

The square on the Harry Potter nuse.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

George WaSINgton.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

Divisean ryder.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

multiplaid cyrmu.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

Malcolm X

( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

The Phantom of the Operand.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

The Hindu *
ok it was an Oasis album
( rob, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

TFS

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

I haven't seen much about Zalgo for a while.
Real shame, i really liked all Zalgo lols.
(Paper_clip You are hearing me talk, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

You what?
HAHAHA PARIS HILTON'S FACE JUST FELL OFF
/Repo! blog
( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

What now?

( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

Wrong board, twatfuckface

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

That'll be why
Sorry.
(Paper_clip You are hearing me talk, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

Memes rarely travel across boards.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

I was going to *link* to an example
From the *main* board as well. Dodged a bullet.
(Paper_clip You are hearing me talk, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

haha, yeah

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

I miss him too.
It was a terrible accident.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

Touch my bum

( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

this is life

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

alright paper_clip

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

Hi
Rosalicious [checks profile] it's true what the grumpy turnip said: people don't cross boards. I might pop back over to main board.
(Paper_clip You are hearing me talk, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

Wormulus vs SexFace.
Now, refusing to take S*bastian W*nnet's actions of yesterday in to account (at his own request), who's winning in your eyes?
It's the weekly round up!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

Wormulus
His name isn't ironic like Sexfaces.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

Wormulus.
Sexface is only as entertaining as that when someone's inflicting physical damage on him.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

Oh JMG, you scamp.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

who? what? where?
/ac

what happened?
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)