
"Push me and then just touch me till I can get my satisfaction" ...... but with men .... damn you
woo!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:21,
archived)
woo!

That tickled me. But A.I. is still the worst film ever made!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:13,
archived)

Made me want to shave off my eyelids with a rusty razor blade.
(bored me senseless, see?)
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:21,
archived)
(bored me senseless, see?)

I only saw Gladiator because it was on in a plane, and then 2 mates decided that they'd rent it on 2 consecutive nights. One of them wanted to turn the lights off in the sitting room, I asked if they could be left on so that I'd have something interesting to look at.
Similarly - from watching an ad break's worth of Die Hard the other day, I think I can sum it up as follows: Bruce run round a building with ever dirtier shirt/bigger gun, cracking jokes, villains run round speaking German, hostages scream. Is there any more to it than that?
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:29,
archived)
Similarly - from watching an ad break's worth of Die Hard the other day, I think I can sum it up as follows: Bruce run round a building with ever dirtier shirt/bigger gun, cracking jokes, villains run round speaking German, hostages scream. Is there any more to it than that?

Battlefield Earth is the worst ever, followed by the Last Starfigher...very average indeed
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:25,
archived)

A.I. sucked so hard the paint came off.
That is all.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:28,
archived)
That is all.

rancid wank, Die Another Day didn't even manage to keep me in the cinema beyond 35 minutes. I went to the park and read a book.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:20,
archived)

when he is surfing on the 'big wave'-the effects are worse than dr who
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:35,
archived)

"Wonderful Life" starring Cliff Richard.
Terrible, terrible, terrible film.
Awful.
Terrible.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:22,
archived)
Terrible, terrible, terrible film.
Awful.
Terrible.

it's a wonderful life, where cliff never existed and the shadows never had any success?
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:25,
archived)

only.
It takes the excitment, adventure and foregn location of Summer Holiday and the songs, musical montages and charachters from The Young Ones and rolls them all into one long, excruciatringly abysmal excuse for a film.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:29,
archived)
It takes the excitment, adventure and foregn location of Summer Holiday and the songs, musical montages and charachters from The Young Ones and rolls them all into one long, excruciatringly abysmal excuse for a film.

looks so amazingly sexy in it, that I was distracted enough not to notice
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:24,
archived)
![Challenge Entry: Irons for Men [challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif)

[edit] That's my first front page for about two months! I was beginning to think I'd pissed off the magic donkey there!

I think that I'll print something like that out and stick it on the office hoover ;)
You sir, are a genie arse.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:08,
archived)
You sir, are a genie arse.

A pair of white stilettoes and you have you architypal Essex girl.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:09,
archived)

as if they're not at it often enough already.
Wootastic!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:10,
archived)
Wootastic!

in anticipation of next weeks double-goodness 100th issue...
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:02,
archived)
-------------------------------------------------
: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Special Offers Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted regrettable special offers:
b3ta.com/challenge/specialoffers/
We asked B3ta boarder 'Solly' to judge the
entries - here are his 3 faves.
Solly writes -
#1 "Birthday Treat - a terrorist called Timmy,
a beautiful air stewardess... a classic
combination. I'll never fly again.
(angel of the forever sleep)
www.b3ta.com/board/1710983
#2 "George Best hypnosis tapes - I listened...
and needed a drink. worked a treat. Now
I need another. hmmmmm. beer. (matsimpsk)
www.b3ta.com/board/1706151
#3 "Parkinsons - we all worry about dying from
a slow debilitating disease, but this made
me shake with laughter!" (aubergene)
www.b3ta.com/board/1720500
>> This Weeks Challenge <<
This week, the challenge dictator gave us
the suggestion, "Irons for Men"
b3ta.com/challenge/ironsformen/
-------------------------------------------------

Calm down. Breathe deeply. Go to the pub.
Get very drunk. It's Friday!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:04,
archived)
Get very drunk. It's Friday!

*cries*
Any chancew I get get an honorable mention in the #100 newsletter then?
I am nice, you know.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 22:33,
archived)
Any chancew I get get an honorable mention in the #100 newsletter then?
I am nice, you know.

...go behind the co-op with a bottle of woodpecker.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:06,
archived)

rock back and forth and weep gently.
Oh and scream every now and then.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:07,
archived)
Oh and scream every now and then.

that newsletter has helped me through my young teenagedom! it can't stop now! i'll break my junior senior tape from over use!
*breaks down in tears*
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 19:45,
archived)
*breaks down in tears*

However, because I can't shop at work, all my ideas usually get done on a Friday afternoon. Ho-hum.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:06,
archived)

seeing as my entries are so shit and i can't do flash, it's the only chance i'll ever have of getting in the newsletter ;)
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:07,
archived)

and we are still yet to find out what is in a womans hand bag....
yup its the only way I can get in to the news letter. Once I even did some questions under the name of "marchant *tring tring*" and they got in to the interview but nobody ever knew it was me.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:14,
archived)
yup its the only way I can get in to the news letter. Once I even did some questions under the name of "marchant *tring tring*" and they got in to the interview but nobody ever knew it was me.

so i'm a little bit famous at least ;)
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:17,
archived)

you'd make a fortune.
I'll direct.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:23,
archived)
I'll direct.

I put something in for it... Now you'll have to wait a week. Send me an email and I'll let you sneak a peek :)
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:07,
archived)

I fixed the "again" button on the end of it. It was playing up like a slag.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:09,
archived)

Help!
*edit* Sorry, I'm being an utter spastic, I've found it now... Just being a bit slow.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:21,
archived)
*edit* Sorry, I'm being an utter spastic, I've found it now... Just being a bit slow.

WITH BLACKJACK! AND HOOKERS!
in fact, forget the newsletter and the blackjack.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:06,
archived)
in fact, forget the newsletter and the blackjack.

home made newsletter time:
Post links to every glasscock you know of so we can get them out once and for all.
To start the ball rolling, Welcome to Glasscock County
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 14:06,
archived)
Post links to every glasscock you know of so we can get them out once and for all.
To start the ball rolling, Welcome to Glasscock County

i missed out on my path to fame and glory in the newsletter... again.
*opens flash manual*
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 17:08,
archived)
*opens flash manual*

Ill haft to do things that are "normal" now, go outside, breath air, NOT SIT INFRONT OF MY COMPUTER ALL DAY!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 18:57,
archived)

Still. It's prompted me to finally make a little start on something i've been intending to do for a while.
The B3ta Newsletter Generator...
pigpog.com/features/b3ta-gen/
...only does the header so far, but maybe i'll do a bit more over the weak end.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 18:59,
archived)
The B3ta Newsletter Generator...
pigpog.com/features/b3ta-gen/
...only does the header so far, but maybe i'll do a bit more over the weak end.

Is perhaps the greatish thing on this pointless plain of existence
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 20:24,
archived)

my evil plan has come to pass

mwahahaha! MwaHaHaHa!! MWAHAHAHA!!!
i need to calm down, AND KILL THE JERK THAT STOLE MY B3TA NEWSLETTER!!!!!!11!!!
BLOOD!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 21:57,
archived)

mwahahaha! MwaHaHaHa!! MWAHAHAHA!!!
i need to calm down, AND KILL THE JERK THAT STOLE MY B3TA NEWSLETTER!!!!!!11!!!
BLOOD!

Oooooh. If you read this thread from the bottom up..it kinda makes sense. No it doesnt. Im so lost.
( ,
Sat 9 Aug 2003, 13:29,
archived)

No newsletter?
What am I supposed to do on this Monday morning now?
I feel raped. and violated.
( ,
Mon 11 Aug 2003, 9:54,
archived)
What am I supposed to do on this Monday morning now?
I feel raped. and violated.

I WAS GOING TO DO THAT!
I HAD THE IMAGES AND EVERYTHING!
Yours is better.
Damn, damn, damn.

( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:58,
archived)
I HAD THE IMAGES AND EVERYTHING!
Yours is better.
Damn, damn, damn.


his name is cuthbert and he lives in the zoo.
oh, and woo to the pic. i like.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:59,
archived)
oh, and woo to the pic. i like.

I'm sure this must of been done before.

( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:46,
archived)


but I thought it would be too obscure
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:06,
archived)

the truth is harder than the pain insi-i-ide. yea-e-eah
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:21,
archived)

just coughed a bourbon biscuit over my keyboard. Thanks for that.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:03,
archived)
![Challenge Entry: Irons for Men [challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif)
with the new "Hammer for Her"

( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:45,
archived)


I shouldn't find that funny, but I do.
Woo!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:40,
archived)
Woo!

Is the BQ bar nice? I always assumed that it would be full of weirdos.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:41,
archived)

am I meant to answer that considering you well know I live at BQ?!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:43,
archived)

All those nozzles and taps to fiddle with....mmmmm ;)
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:49,
archived)

wanna come flap my fins and try out my sucker mouth? *wink wink*
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:50,
archived)

The place is a bit odd. Like a modern day commune. And the guard was scarey!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:46,
archived)

The bar is okay, bit pricey for soft drinks but not bad. I would say you should come down for a drink some time, but not having met you, that might be a bit wierd!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:50,
archived)

Probably......but I never turn down the offer of a drink - you're on!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:52,
archived)

just lemme know when. Is the wife going to come along too?
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:54,
archived)

....but I'll settle on:
I will ask and see if she isn't too big yet! She is off alchohol at the moment too - which insn't much fun.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:59,
archived)
I will ask and see if she isn't too big yet! She is off alchohol at the moment too - which insn't much fun.

to sit and watch you drink!
However, if you do want to do this, and seeing as I'm not on b3ta 24 hrs a day - in fact not at all at weekends, how do you let me know? There didn't seem to be an email address on your website - at least not one I could get to.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:07,
archived)
However, if you do want to do this, and seeing as I'm not on b3ta 24 hrs a day - in fact not at all at weekends, how do you let me know? There didn't seem to be an email address on your website - at least not one I could get to.

paul dot preacher at carrlyons dot com
or
paulpreacher at btopenworld dot com
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:08,
archived)
or
paulpreacher at btopenworld dot com

I will email you something this afternoon probably, but in the meantime I need to go and do some food shopping and then actually do some work, so I'm logging out now.
Laters, all.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:16,
archived)
Laters, all.

he's a married man! I'm just being neighbourly! :P
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:14,
archived)

It's true - turns out we are neighbours. But I think he was joking!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:16,
archived)

today I am tired, hot and irritable.
more so than yesterday- would like to experience calming and happy things today.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:53,
archived)
more so than yesterday- would like to experience calming and happy things today.

if my boss isn't in the office, then the trolls seem to come out to play.
I'm not entirely convinced they aren't all my boss, being a tosspot while working from home
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:00,
archived)
I'm not entirely convinced they aren't all my boss, being a tosspot while working from home

still- if I keep churning out stuff that makes me smile then maybe, just maybe...
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:01,
archived)

spazzed back, and it came as no surprise to find that it was you.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:54,
archived)

I remember convincing you they were real for about two minutes as well.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:55,
archived)

that I am going through the same cycle of conversation.
www.b3ta.com/board/883758
Did you know they've taken the word gullible out of the dictionary?
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:57,
archived)
www.b3ta.com/board/883758
Did you know they've taken the word gullible out of the dictionary?

We must have the same conversations here all the time!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 13:01,
archived)

counter.
Funnily enough I don't actually drive.
This is possibly the most ironic posting ever!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:42,
archived)
Funnily enough I don't actually drive.
This is possibly the most ironic posting ever!

she has written off 4 cars and smashed in the side of her husbands TVR, last month she got a year long driving ban for doing 112mph
I laughed
she cryd
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:43,
archived)
I laughed
she cryd




i hate it when you spent fucking ages on brilliant idea for a picture and it doesnt come out like you want it to.

the wrong way around
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:38,
archived)

you changed "on something" to "a brilliant idea". Blowing your own trumpet again?
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:44,
archived)

im sorry, it took me so long to work out what you were all laughing about i had to do something.
leave me alone im sleepy. (NOT FUCKING RELATED)
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:48,
archived)
leave me alone im sleepy. (NOT FUCKING RELATED)

we're smutty bastards here. We should apologise to you!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:49,
archived)

but I'm not sure it makes any sense to me...
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:38,
archived)

I'm going to go away for lunch and when I come back i want to see if my server is broke
B3ta snap game thingy
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:38,
archived)
B3ta snap game thingy

with this www.b3ta.com/board/1746858
Your pic is most definately woo though.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:38,
archived)
Your pic is most definately woo though.
![Challenge Entry: Irons for Men [challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif)

tenuous, i know
CLICKY BIGGER

oh and nice pic, but a bit big...
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:34,
archived)

but it normally gets taken down by Friday as they're writing it
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:35,
archived)

or something like that.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:53,
archived)

yesterday morning when I checked the front page.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:38,
archived)

ah well it probably wouldn't have made it
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:36,
archived)

or not a newsletter?
edit: *reads below* *chokes*
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:37,
archived)
edit: *reads below* *chokes*

... and you might want to sit down for this...
there isn't going to be a newsletter this week.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:36,
archived)
there isn't going to be a newsletter this week.

special edition therefore two weeks to make it extra sparkly and good.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:54,
archived)

So I needed something to settle my stomach:

( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:31,
archived)


but he will make your arse sore
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:33,
archived)

should've been under new product and now it is...
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:33,
archived)

See the "edit" link there? You could have used that and changed the option in the dropdown.
/handy hint
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:34,
archived)
/handy hint

piece of invaluable information... Next time I will do it right.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:36,
archived)

Why did you delete the earlier thread?
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:32,
archived)

But the third time I cracked up.
Nice one dude like it.
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:53,
archived)
Nice one dude like it.

I can think of *better* things to put on the end of that than a rose!!!
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Kristy
( ,
Sat 9 Aug 2003, 18:16,
archived)
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Kristy


Time to go to the pub and hang around with me mates

"keep banging the rocks together"
Woo to the drunk monkeys!
( ,
Fri 8 Aug 2003, 12:45,
archived)
Woo to the drunk monkeys!
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